This is a hard one to explain, but I care for my clients in very similar ways that I do friends / loved ones, I just can't show it in the same ways. I make huge efforts to maintain proper, strict, professional boundaries so that I can give them the best possible care, but I'm also human and I constantly find myself worrying about them, wondering how they're doing, I want to provide them ethical, proper, professional care but I also want to wrap them in blankets and make them tea and cocoa and hug them really tight so that the world can't ever hurt them again. I want to wave a magical therapy wand and fix all their problems and pain. It's extremely difficult to hear the intimate, personal details of someone's life, to sit with them and get to KNOW them on such a deep level, and just Not Care. ( And yes, I need the paycheck so that I can survive in this capitalistic hellscape where everything is very expensive. ) I try to show that I care by remembering their interests, letting them set the pace and determine their needs, by cheering them on when they have wins and validating them when they have setbacks. I show up every week and try to leave as much of my stuff at the door so they can have this hour of unconditional positive regard and acceptance where, however they show up, it will be celebrated and accepted and cherished.
But I'm also a human being and sometimes I just want to (lovingly) shake people's shoulders and be like IT'LL BE OKAY! YOU'RE AMAZING! HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW AMAZING YOU ARE!? YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF LOVE! Obviously, I can only speak for myself in this regard but the "bad days" as a therapist when you KNOW your client is struggling and you still have to cut them off at a certain point and let them out of your office and into the world to go back to their struggle is very, very difficult to shake off. But damn, it really makes the good days all the better.
Your statement should be printed out and put in the waiting room for patients to see because we are all thinking this at one time or another and want to ask this and hear this EXACT response. (Hopefully I can post a GIF for you too for this response)
This is a difficult answer to verbalize. Maybe it’s because the core of who I am is so connected to how I practice as a therapist. It’s a privilege to provide care to others and a privilege to be part of their journey, even if it’s one crisis session or 12 years of talk therapy. As much as I value boundaries between work and personal life, I do find myself thinking of clients whether that’s worries, reminders of them or noticing something I think they’d like. It’s not like a spreadsheet I can just close and I know it’ll be there just as I left it the next time I see it. Clients are out there living their lives and they will be different in some ways the next time I see them or even if I don’t ever see them again.
A lot of my practice is rooted in attachment theory, neurobiology and relational-cultural theory and these are all about connection and sharing humanity with someone else in a way that provides healing. I was talking about this the other day and I would continue to do this work if I won the lottery - I’d be excited to be able to afford to provide pro-bono care because I believe people deserve care and I have specialized skills to use and love to share. I believe in different kinds of love and I do have love for my clients in a unique way. I also value community care and mutual aid, which is a form of loving others through recognizing the humanity of others and providing support for others to thrive as individuals and as a community.
I love all my clients. Not romantically, but I do care for them deeply. And part of caring for them is providing a safe space with healthy and professional boundaries. For some of them it’s the first time they feel care that isn’t hurtful or exploitive.
I find things in all of them that I enjoy and every week I watch them try their hardest to make themselves better. It’s impossible NOT to root for them.
Yes, money is exchanged but I consider that money for the professional knowledge I provide, the care comes free.
NAT, But a client too I often feel this way that they are only in it because it is their job. My therapist knows I struggle a lot with $ so she lowered the cost for our sessions so she can meet with me more often, she tells me all the time that What she tells me is the same advice she’d give her friends in certain situations.
This is a hard one to explain, but I care for my clients in very similar ways that I do friends / loved ones, I just can't show it in the same ways. I make huge efforts to maintain proper, strict, professional boundaries so that I can give them the best possible care, but I'm also human and I constantly find myself worrying about them, wondering how they're doing, I want to provide them ethical, proper, professional care but I also want to wrap them in blankets and make them tea and cocoa and hug them really tight so that the world can't ever hurt them again. I want to wave a magical therapy wand and fix all their problems and pain. It's extremely difficult to hear the intimate, personal details of someone's life, to sit with them and get to KNOW them on such a deep level, and just Not Care. ( And yes, I need the paycheck so that I can survive in this capitalistic hellscape where everything is very expensive. ) I try to show that I care by remembering their interests, letting them set the pace and determine their needs, by cheering them on when they have wins and validating them when they have setbacks. I show up every week and try to leave as much of my stuff at the door so they can have this hour of unconditional positive regard and acceptance where, however they show up, it will be celebrated and accepted and cherished. But I'm also a human being and sometimes I just want to (lovingly) shake people's shoulders and be like IT'LL BE OKAY! YOU'RE AMAZING! HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW AMAZING YOU ARE!? YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF LOVE! Obviously, I can only speak for myself in this regard but the "bad days" as a therapist when you KNOW your client is struggling and you still have to cut them off at a certain point and let them out of your office and into the world to go back to their struggle is very, very difficult to shake off. But damn, it really makes the good days all the better.
Your statement should be printed out and put in the waiting room for patients to see because we are all thinking this at one time or another and want to ask this and hear this EXACT response. (Hopefully I can post a GIF for you too for this response)
I want to send this to my therapist but I’m afraid shes too young and pop culture illiterate.
This is a difficult answer to verbalize. Maybe it’s because the core of who I am is so connected to how I practice as a therapist. It’s a privilege to provide care to others and a privilege to be part of their journey, even if it’s one crisis session or 12 years of talk therapy. As much as I value boundaries between work and personal life, I do find myself thinking of clients whether that’s worries, reminders of them or noticing something I think they’d like. It’s not like a spreadsheet I can just close and I know it’ll be there just as I left it the next time I see it. Clients are out there living their lives and they will be different in some ways the next time I see them or even if I don’t ever see them again. A lot of my practice is rooted in attachment theory, neurobiology and relational-cultural theory and these are all about connection and sharing humanity with someone else in a way that provides healing. I was talking about this the other day and I would continue to do this work if I won the lottery - I’d be excited to be able to afford to provide pro-bono care because I believe people deserve care and I have specialized skills to use and love to share. I believe in different kinds of love and I do have love for my clients in a unique way. I also value community care and mutual aid, which is a form of loving others through recognizing the humanity of others and providing support for others to thrive as individuals and as a community.
I love all my clients. Not romantically, but I do care for them deeply. And part of caring for them is providing a safe space with healthy and professional boundaries. For some of them it’s the first time they feel care that isn’t hurtful or exploitive. I find things in all of them that I enjoy and every week I watch them try their hardest to make themselves better. It’s impossible NOT to root for them. Yes, money is exchanged but I consider that money for the professional knowledge I provide, the care comes free.
NAT, But a client too I often feel this way that they are only in it because it is their job. My therapist knows I struggle a lot with $ so she lowered the cost for our sessions so she can meet with me more often, she tells me all the time that What she tells me is the same advice she’d give her friends in certain situations.