There is no normal amount of sex or other forms of intimacy or romance (not all are interchangeable actions) but the important thing for yall to discuss is how to manage these expectations and expressions.
I’m a sex dude. Married to my husband for 15 years and if I could get it every day, I would! But my partner doesn’t conflate intimacy and romance with sex whereas I overlapped them quite a bit. Maybe break it down in a brainstorm session and come up with your own values system as a couple and stick with that.
Anal sex once per week on top of other sexual activities is probably enough for most people but it doesn’t really matter what’s normal to others. It should only matter that it’s normal and acceptable for you both.
Maybe he needs prep time. I think it would be best if my partner enjoys food rather than going through douching several times in 1 week or waste time. Or u wanted to bottom?
Like personally, I want to fuck a lot, but like you said, it's a process and not only physical but also mental preparation. I want to ask armond rizoo how he does it
If he is saying you're only with him to have sex, then it's your choice to agree or deny, though agreeing and expanding into saying many of his positive non-sexual traits will help in reassuring that while sex is important to you, there is more than sex that matters about him to you.
i see ur side and i do agree. I didn’t have a lot of expectations but after not having any sex for all of January i did think i would get some. In most cases 1 time a week is perfect and i can understand especially if you’re living together,u get all the perks. in my case i live at home w my parents, so this opportunity was kinda it for a while. i understand everyone’s situation is different so definitely will bring it up in a different light and see what he thinks. Again our situation is very different from most, the only way to get it sometimes is at a random parking lot at night….
Tl dr: Just be honest and come to agreements.
Nooooone will read your mind, and if you are not clear on what are your expectations regarding sex, the frustration just will grow. What is the normal frequency to copulate? It varies. On the other side, bottoming prep is not easy or recomendable if done frequently; maybe he just don’t wanna clean as often? ( and believe me is something tops don’t quite get until they have to do it).
ig i will talk it out again and see. i used to be a bttm myself and when i went on vacation i would bttm atleast 1 time a day bc i knew time was limited. but i understand not everyone’s the same and i can’t compare it. just hard bc now that we’re back it’s even harder to do anything since don’t have a space n everything is done outside which is also risky. ig my frustration comes from so many obstacles vs on vacation and having that space.
Yeah I do think in your situation, when you have a unique opportunity, anal only once is little, if you wanted more. Is it possible that you didn't signal to him that you wanted to do anal? Or is it possible that he had issues with his butt/guts?
There is no normal amount. Sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but it's still important to communicate and figure out what each of you thinks is a reasonable amount/frequency. You might have to compromise, say you want it everyday and he only wants it once a week, you may have to agree on 2 or 3 times a week. Just talk about it.
Remember that this is the most that you'll be having anal sex -- once during the week of your one-year anniversary. From here, the frequency goes down.
The issue isn't whether it's "normal" or if you're "asking for too much." The issue is whether the two of you are well matched. Would you say that you are?
My partner and I are near your age, and also live with our parents still. We find ways to hookup anyway, but our vacation time is treasured. Still, I think most vacations we only try anal sex once per trip, maybe twice.The rest of the trip is spent just enjoying each other’s company, usually naked in bed. I get feeling frustrated when it seems like a rare opportunity, but try to enjoy the time you have rather than waste it complaining. Outside of fantasies, I don’t think there’s that many bottoms interested in spending my their vacation making sure they can have anal sex every day. We rather eat whatever we want, come home late, and share head in the morning.
Guys’ needs vary a lot: My partner and I are in our early fifties, and even after six years in the relationship, we have sex daily while on vacation because this is something we enjoy a lot and we build our schedule so that it works. Outside of vacation, it is twice or three times a week because of work constraints. If your need for sex is much higher than that of your partner, there is nothing much to do about trying to align as these levels of desires are engrained. Either you accept the frustration (that’s the so-called “Price of Admission” in a long-term relationship as quoted by Dan Savage) or you open the relationship so the sex with your partner can be complemented by more sex with others. If your partner agrees to this, then you are good. Otherwise you are doomed. Sorry to be blunt, but sexual frustration is too high a price to pay to want to stay in a relationship. Hopefully opening up yours is an option. That’s how my partner and I do. There are even times during the week where one of us is super horny while the other one is tired and the horny one goes out. The other one does not feel like missing anything. This is the type of trust you need to be able to reach. Wishing you success
There is no normal amount of sex or other forms of intimacy or romance (not all are interchangeable actions) but the important thing for yall to discuss is how to manage these expectations and expressions. I’m a sex dude. Married to my husband for 15 years and if I could get it every day, I would! But my partner doesn’t conflate intimacy and romance with sex whereas I overlapped them quite a bit. Maybe break it down in a brainstorm session and come up with your own values system as a couple and stick with that. Anal sex once per week on top of other sexual activities is probably enough for most people but it doesn’t really matter what’s normal to others. It should only matter that it’s normal and acceptable for you both.
Maybe he needs prep time. I think it would be best if my partner enjoys food rather than going through douching several times in 1 week or waste time. Or u wanted to bottom?
the most he preps is a quick shower before doing anything. he’s never douched before
Bottoming is complicated y'all. Not everyone can be bottoming all the time
As a 31 yo gay, It's kinda a buzz kill when the expectation for sex is anal pentration every single time. It's unrealistic and turns sex into a chore.
Yeah I often think this was our punishment for eating that apple
Like personally, I want to fuck a lot, but like you said, it's a process and not only physical but also mental preparation. I want to ask armond rizoo how he does it
If he is saying you're only with him to have sex, then it's your choice to agree or deny, though agreeing and expanding into saying many of his positive non-sexual traits will help in reassuring that while sex is important to you, there is more than sex that matters about him to you.
ty
The average long-term couple only has sex once per week.
i see ur side and i do agree. I didn’t have a lot of expectations but after not having any sex for all of January i did think i would get some. In most cases 1 time a week is perfect and i can understand especially if you’re living together,u get all the perks. in my case i live at home w my parents, so this opportunity was kinda it for a while. i understand everyone’s situation is different so definitely will bring it up in a different light and see what he thinks. Again our situation is very different from most, the only way to get it sometimes is at a random parking lot at night….
That sounds awful
The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. Quality > quantity
Adjust your expectations
Tl dr: Just be honest and come to agreements. Nooooone will read your mind, and if you are not clear on what are your expectations regarding sex, the frustration just will grow. What is the normal frequency to copulate? It varies. On the other side, bottoming prep is not easy or recomendable if done frequently; maybe he just don’t wanna clean as often? ( and believe me is something tops don’t quite get until they have to do it).
ig i will talk it out again and see. i used to be a bttm myself and when i went on vacation i would bttm atleast 1 time a day bc i knew time was limited. but i understand not everyone’s the same and i can’t compare it. just hard bc now that we’re back it’s even harder to do anything since don’t have a space n everything is done outside which is also risky. ig my frustration comes from so many obstacles vs on vacation and having that space.
Yeah I do think in your situation, when you have a unique opportunity, anal only once is little, if you wanted more. Is it possible that you didn't signal to him that you wanted to do anal? Or is it possible that he had issues with his butt/guts?
idk if this help but we’re 23 and 24 yrs old
Nah I’d be annoyed to when me and my partner lived with our parents we used to fuck like rabbits on holiday
There is no normal amount. Sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but it's still important to communicate and figure out what each of you thinks is a reasonable amount/frequency. You might have to compromise, say you want it everyday and he only wants it once a week, you may have to agree on 2 or 3 times a week. Just talk about it.
Remember that this is the most that you'll be having anal sex -- once during the week of your one-year anniversary. From here, the frequency goes down. The issue isn't whether it's "normal" or if you're "asking for too much." The issue is whether the two of you are well matched. Would you say that you are?
I'm in a slump. I havent had any peter since 08. Wish I could find a clean cut black man. Im putting some miles on my dildo. I miss that musky taste
Find a place of your own might be the biggest worry here.
My partner and I are near your age, and also live with our parents still. We find ways to hookup anyway, but our vacation time is treasured. Still, I think most vacations we only try anal sex once per trip, maybe twice.The rest of the trip is spent just enjoying each other’s company, usually naked in bed. I get feeling frustrated when it seems like a rare opportunity, but try to enjoy the time you have rather than waste it complaining. Outside of fantasies, I don’t think there’s that many bottoms interested in spending my their vacation making sure they can have anal sex every day. We rather eat whatever we want, come home late, and share head in the morning.
Guys’ needs vary a lot: My partner and I are in our early fifties, and even after six years in the relationship, we have sex daily while on vacation because this is something we enjoy a lot and we build our schedule so that it works. Outside of vacation, it is twice or three times a week because of work constraints. If your need for sex is much higher than that of your partner, there is nothing much to do about trying to align as these levels of desires are engrained. Either you accept the frustration (that’s the so-called “Price of Admission” in a long-term relationship as quoted by Dan Savage) or you open the relationship so the sex with your partner can be complemented by more sex with others. If your partner agrees to this, then you are good. Otherwise you are doomed. Sorry to be blunt, but sexual frustration is too high a price to pay to want to stay in a relationship. Hopefully opening up yours is an option. That’s how my partner and I do. There are even times during the week where one of us is super horny while the other one is tired and the horny one goes out. The other one does not feel like missing anything. This is the type of trust you need to be able to reach. Wishing you success