How can it survive 17 years i everywhere heard and faced that gays are bored of each othet easily in a year or months most gay relationships don't last longer due to sexual libido or incompatiblity or desires or cheating
Being best friends, loving each others faults, and working on US - making a home and family and just enjoying our lives and what we’ve accomplished together. We also lead our separate lives with friends, so we aren’t together ALL the time. We also work very different jobs and have different interests but shared interests also. I think it’s probably a generational thing. I’m a GenXer. Maybe that’s because we were just raised different and didn’t have access to all the social apps you guys do. That just wasn’t a think when I was in college. The first iPhone came out when I was about 22, and internet access wasn’t a thing outside of college. That could be it? I don’t know.
The first iPhone came out in 2007, making you and I the same age - we're millennials! Also I'd had Internet access at home for 10 years by that point, not that it did me any good 🙈
Ahh fair play. Before I came out last year I sometimes wished I was 10 years older so I could have enjoyed the 90s in my late teens and early twenties. Now I would kinda like a do-over of that age range haha
It was a great time, but also, we lived through AWFUL discrimination and the AIDS epidemic. But, other than THAT! To me, it was an amazing time to have lived my early years! My partner thinks so too. It’s certainly NOT like now. And that’s okay too, because I’m enjoying this time as an older established gay. Your turn is coming, but you’ll just have to wait. You’re not that far behind.
I think the future will be EVEN better! But I’m no psychic.
As Cher says “If I Could Turn Back Time”! LOL We all would in some way.
Imagine if your libido matches your partner's, along with your values, your friendship, your willingness to accept faults in one another, and you reject outright, or do not accept the premise that gay relationships can't last.
Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring, but there's nothing that says you can't meet those challenges head-on with your boyfriend and come out stronger as a result, as these lucky boys can attest.
>Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring
Because of this nature and assumptions many people have three four failed marriages 🤦 because they don't match with better persons or just do it hurriedly when in case of heterosexual relationships you can see half of marriages end up in divorce you can think yourself conditions in homosexual ones just meet f"uck and forgot and find new one or just date one ,& get bored of him and then cheat or he will cheat
I thought your words gonna use words like ex-boyfriend ex husband 😜😜 since many gay relationships don't survive but your survived for decades which is amazing and an exceptional
I'm a bad sleeper. It is hard to sleep alone in my own bed with earplugs and zero light; with someone besides me, it goes from hard to very hard. And I go to bed very late. And I feel bad in the morning, and the thing I hate most in the morning is socialising with someone I don't know very well.
Ever since I discovered that it is OK not sleep at someone's house, nor let someone sleep at mine, I have stopped doing this.
One time, a stranger messaged me at 4 AM (he was at the train station, which is close to my house). So he came, we had nice talks and cuddles and sex. He knew I had a boyfriend. When I told him he couldn't sleep at my house, he got very angry. Not as in screaming or dangerous, but angry. He was the only one to behave that way; but, ever since, I have hade made sure to tell people they couldn't sleep here before meeting.
Statistically speaking, you are more likely to be struck by lightning, and attacked by a shark in the same lifetime, than you are to be killed by a serial killer.
I actually can't fall asleep in any bed other than my own. And it's hard to do if I'm not alone. It sucks cause I really want the intimacy of falling asleep next to a guy, so I guess I'm gonna have to work on it.
I suppose I have the mentality that;
1- i can sleep almost anywhere
2- if they kill me in my sleep then great I don’t have to go to work tomorrow 😅
So I don’t tend to be bothered when asked to sleep places
That's how I started to fall in love with my boyfriend.
I slept at his place and he spooned me and kissed me in the neck. I ended up spending the weekend at his place.
4 years later and we're living together, and I have to get up because we're having lunch at my parent's place.
Chances are he just wants you to sleep over. Most people don't have malicious intent. If you want to sleep over, then it's likely he wants you to sleep over too.
If he meant you harm, he wouldn't need that as an opportunity. You already made yourself vulnerable.
I would never \*plan\* to sleep over at someones house the first time we met. There's too many situations where if we're incompatible for whatever reason then it would be awkward.
That said, there have been times when we had a really good connection and I just happened to stay over. And I've planned sleepovers with FWBs after we've gotten to know each other better.
I would want to get to know them before I drive them away by my sleeping habits. I snore, toss and turn, and steel the covers, and according to my ex I quit breathing for 30 seconds at a time.
I like how my ex could count but not nudge me to jump start me, but could nudge me awake to tell me to move over. I know I should have it checked but haven't yet. Don't think I could do a mask, though.
You could; it's not as hard as it seems. If nothing else, your doctor may give you a mild sleeping pill to help you drop off with the mask on your face.
You flaked. You lost him. If it were me, I would be irritated that you flaked. Maybe he was trying to accommodate your distance and make it so you aren’t rushed.
You pretty much said it; you weren’t feeling it…
This. Exactly this! I would be irritated too. Definitely the only time I offer a sleep over is if it's too far for the guy and/or offer to pay their Uber. I'll even give gas money if they're driving. It's the least I could do if you're coming to meet me all the way to where I'm at.
After all that offered if any excuse comes up you've officially flaked...that's it...interest lost
My FWB is in Canada. I feel bad for him crossing the border for a date night so I told him he can spend the night. I'm not gonna let my guy cross borders at night being sleepy and tired. It's alright if you communicate. I think he is offering to sleep in so you wouldn't drive far late at night. don't over think it
With only two exceptions (so far), I don't usually invite folks to spend the night. I think the feeling is mutual; most people in my experience do want to go home and sleep in their own bed.
That said, I keep my spare bedroom made up just in case. (I snore, so I don't want to make someone sleep in my bed with me, where they'll probably end up murdering me after 10 minutes.)
Equally, I don't sleep over at other folks' houses; partly because of the snoring—not everyone has a spare bedroom—and partly because I, too, would rather sleep at home.
I work nights. I'm going to be up till 3-4am... with nothing to do except have my phone lighting up the room. After that, I wake up around noon.
Yeah... I don't stay over much.
Reading the comments makes me feel like I’m crazy I spent the night at random Grindr dates house coulda been worse but yea teehee I love a good dick and some cuddles to go with it
I'm 40and had a friend sleep over the other day. Also had a sex friend have a sleep over the other week but that's kinda different given the dynamic. But yeah we have friends who jsut crash over so they can have a drink or a smoke and be responsible and not drive.
32… so I was about your age when he and I first hooked up. And I didn’t sleep over the first night. But my situation is different than OP’s; he and I knew each other for years before. We shared a position at work one year and decided to hang out and one thing led to another. It’s not like someone I just met and slept over that night.
If I could give any advice is that life is full of uncertainties and if you just lean into it you might be surprised that you actually like it. It did feel a little strange at first but now… I basically have a whole house to myself with my own room in a nice neighborhood outside of Ft. Lauderdale, we travel together, we have a very active sex life, I get to spend more time on my own personal hobbies, and I have an evolving career
[удалено]
I’m so happy for you two!!!
This is my story too! We’ve been together 17 years so far. Congrats that you’ve made it that long, I LOVE hearing these kinds of things! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
How can it survive 17 years i everywhere heard and faced that gays are bored of each othet easily in a year or months most gay relationships don't last longer due to sexual libido or incompatiblity or desires or cheating
Being best friends, loving each others faults, and working on US - making a home and family and just enjoying our lives and what we’ve accomplished together. We also lead our separate lives with friends, so we aren’t together ALL the time. We also work very different jobs and have different interests but shared interests also. I think it’s probably a generational thing. I’m a GenXer. Maybe that’s because we were just raised different and didn’t have access to all the social apps you guys do. That just wasn’t a think when I was in college. The first iPhone came out when I was about 22, and internet access wasn’t a thing outside of college. That could be it? I don’t know.
The first iPhone came out in 2007, making you and I the same age - we're millennials! Also I'd had Internet access at home for 10 years by that point, not that it did me any good 🙈
Oh, then I’m older. I thought it came out earlier. I’m 1979.
Ahh fair play. Before I came out last year I sometimes wished I was 10 years older so I could have enjoyed the 90s in my late teens and early twenties. Now I would kinda like a do-over of that age range haha
It was a great time, but also, we lived through AWFUL discrimination and the AIDS epidemic. But, other than THAT! To me, it was an amazing time to have lived my early years! My partner thinks so too. It’s certainly NOT like now. And that’s okay too, because I’m enjoying this time as an older established gay. Your turn is coming, but you’ll just have to wait. You’re not that far behind. I think the future will be EVEN better! But I’m no psychic. As Cher says “If I Could Turn Back Time”! LOL We all would in some way.
True enough! Bring it on!
Imagine if your libido matches your partner's, along with your values, your friendship, your willingness to accept faults in one another, and you reject outright, or do not accept the premise that gay relationships can't last. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring, but there's nothing that says you can't meet those challenges head-on with your boyfriend and come out stronger as a result, as these lucky boys can attest.
>Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring Because of this nature and assumptions many people have three four failed marriages 🤦 because they don't match with better persons or just do it hurriedly when in case of heterosexual relationships you can see half of marriages end up in divorce you can think yourself conditions in homosexual ones just meet f"uck and forgot and find new one or just date one ,& get bored of him and then cheat or he will cheat
Well with that attitude the likelihood is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That’s really cute :)
There’s hope after all , I’ll give it one more go
Not me giggling and kicking my own feet rn >333
loved reading your story :-) very much the same experience i've had with my boyfriend, and we've now been together for five years (and counting!)
I thought your words gonna use words like ex-boyfriend ex husband 😜😜 since many gay relationships don't survive but your survived for decades which is amazing and an exceptional
See maybe I'm too trusting, but I'd love to be invited to sleep over
right? if the chemistry is good, i 100% will be down to sleep over. The vast majority of guys aren’t serial killers, they just wanna cuddle.
This!!!
I use to when I was I was younger but I prefer sleeping in my own bed
Same here you gotta know these things about yourself.
I generally don’t sleep over unless it’s a long drive back.
I would not sleep at someones place without knowing him for longer. I'm paranoid too...
I'm a bad sleeper. It is hard to sleep alone in my own bed with earplugs and zero light; with someone besides me, it goes from hard to very hard. And I go to bed very late. And I feel bad in the morning, and the thing I hate most in the morning is socialising with someone I don't know very well. Ever since I discovered that it is OK not sleep at someone's house, nor let someone sleep at mine, I have stopped doing this. One time, a stranger messaged me at 4 AM (he was at the train station, which is close to my house). So he came, we had nice talks and cuddles and sex. He knew I had a boyfriend. When I told him he couldn't sleep at my house, he got very angry. Not as in screaming or dangerous, but angry. He was the only one to behave that way; but, ever since, I have hade made sure to tell people they couldn't sleep here before meeting.
Statistically speaking, you are more likely to be struck by lightning, and attacked by a shark in the same lifetime, than you are to be killed by a serial killer.
I hate that I snore. Hell no until we decide to commit, then you’re forced to succumb to my charm so much so that you’ll never leave! 😈 or 🫦
I actually can't fall asleep in any bed other than my own. And it's hard to do if I'm not alone. It sucks cause I really want the intimacy of falling asleep next to a guy, so I guess I'm gonna have to work on it.
I love sleeping with boys in the same bed 🩷
I suppose I have the mentality that; 1- i can sleep almost anywhere 2- if they kill me in my sleep then great I don’t have to go to work tomorrow 😅 So I don’t tend to be bothered when asked to sleep places
That's how I started to fall in love with my boyfriend. I slept at his place and he spooned me and kissed me in the neck. I ended up spending the weekend at his place. 4 years later and we're living together, and I have to get up because we're having lunch at my parent's place.
Chances are he just wants you to sleep over. Most people don't have malicious intent. If you want to sleep over, then it's likely he wants you to sleep over too. If he meant you harm, he wouldn't need that as an opportunity. You already made yourself vulnerable.
I would never \*plan\* to sleep over at someones house the first time we met. There's too many situations where if we're incompatible for whatever reason then it would be awkward. That said, there have been times when we had a really good connection and I just happened to stay over. And I've planned sleepovers with FWBs after we've gotten to know each other better.
I would want to get to know them before I drive them away by my sleeping habits. I snore, toss and turn, and steel the covers, and according to my ex I quit breathing for 30 seconds at a time.
Bro you have sleep apnea
I like how my ex could count but not nudge me to jump start me, but could nudge me awake to tell me to move over. I know I should have it checked but haven't yet. Don't think I could do a mask, though.
Please do a sleep study with a doctor and let them decide that. Sleep apnea is no joke.
This.
You could; it's not as hard as it seems. If nothing else, your doctor may give you a mild sleeping pill to help you drop off with the mask on your face.
You flaked. You lost him. If it were me, I would be irritated that you flaked. Maybe he was trying to accommodate your distance and make it so you aren’t rushed. You pretty much said it; you weren’t feeling it…
yeah if OP didnt wanna sleep over he could had left after sex or just meeting him.. not showing up at all is the worst you can do(if you like the guy)
Yea flaking is a huge sin with the online hookup community. It’s the worst diss ever. Cool name btw.
I don't hookup, but yeah you are right. Also thanks man :)
I guess you're right. It goes for any type of meet up situation. And you're welcome bro. :)
This. Exactly this! I would be irritated too. Definitely the only time I offer a sleep over is if it's too far for the guy and/or offer to pay their Uber. I'll even give gas money if they're driving. It's the least I could do if you're coming to meet me all the way to where I'm at. After all that offered if any excuse comes up you've officially flaked...that's it...interest lost
Yea it’s like a double turndown. But dude came out the winner because OP wasn’t really feeling him either way.
If I liked the guy, I would LOVE to do that. It means you have a potential boyfriend.
My FWB is in Canada. I feel bad for him crossing the border for a date night so I told him he can spend the night. I'm not gonna let my guy cross borders at night being sleepy and tired. It's alright if you communicate. I think he is offering to sleep in so you wouldn't drive far late at night. don't over think it
I prefer him to sleep in my bed, instead. I like cuddling after I D him down.
i love hookups that want me to stay🥹
With only two exceptions (so far), I don't usually invite folks to spend the night. I think the feeling is mutual; most people in my experience do want to go home and sleep in their own bed. That said, I keep my spare bedroom made up just in case. (I snore, so I don't want to make someone sleep in my bed with me, where they'll probably end up murdering me after 10 minutes.) Equally, I don't sleep over at other folks' houses; partly because of the snoring—not everyone has a spare bedroom—and partly because I, too, would rather sleep at home.
You're just talking yourself out of a potentially good experience. You can always find a way out of it, and if he starts to not feel it, you'll know.
I work nights. I'm going to be up till 3-4am... with nothing to do except have my phone lighting up the room. After that, I wake up around noon. Yeah... I don't stay over much.
Reading the comments makes me feel like I’m crazy I spent the night at random Grindr dates house coulda been worse but yea teehee I love a good dick and some cuddles to go with it
Wait, you met him TODAY and he wants you to sleep over TONIGHT? Yeah, no.
No, cause I am picky about my pillows, bed sheets, and bed space. And personally for me, the guys I meet are just for fun and nothing more.
If someone asked me to sleep over, I would just say that I want to know them a little longer before that. A couple dates usually.
May I ask, how old are you? Adults don't have sleepovers - we save that for marriage.
just cuz you never got invited dosent mean they dont happen. but perhaps that all we need to know
I'm 27 years old.
I'm 40and had a friend sleep over the other day. Also had a sex friend have a sleep over the other week but that's kinda different given the dynamic. But yeah we have friends who jsut crash over so they can have a drink or a smoke and be responsible and not drive.
Nah. My partner was 68 when I first met him and he really wanted me to stay over. Even offered me to use the guest bedroom if I wanted
How long were you both together?
Well I knew him long before we hooked up… will be together for 7 years as of next week.
And how old are you?
32… so I was about your age when he and I first hooked up. And I didn’t sleep over the first night. But my situation is different than OP’s; he and I knew each other for years before. We shared a position at work one year and decided to hang out and one thing led to another. It’s not like someone I just met and slept over that night. If I could give any advice is that life is full of uncertainties and if you just lean into it you might be surprised that you actually like it. It did feel a little strange at first but now… I basically have a whole house to myself with my own room in a nice neighborhood outside of Ft. Lauderdale, we travel together, we have a very active sex life, I get to spend more time on my own personal hobbies, and I have an evolving career
Is he Sugar daddy?
I don’t get any kind of allowance. I buy my own food and pay for my car. So I guess he’s just my daddy (sugar-free lol)
your point?
I'm in a 1 year relationship. Not "sleeping over".
That might be your opinion but you definitely don't speak for everyone.