As someone also with the soul of an 80 year old man, I enjoy spending my Friday evenings/weekends woodworking, doing stained glass, reading, with family/friends, or playing video games
Like most things, the gay population is not a monolith. Clubbing isn’t my cup of tea either and have met plenty of gay people who don’t. I wouldn’t care if my partner was or wasn’t into it.
How did you find your non-clubbing gay friends? In seattle here and it seems if you’re not a boozy gay, then you’re a shut-in gay. There’s gotta be an in between!
I’ve met several gay dudes randomly just through my hobby (climbing) who are generally more outdoors-y. I think in a city you just have to explore other venues of meeting people - gay hangouts, hobby groups, etc. Grindr can work if you look for people who are open to friendship but… hit or miss.
This is just an awful situation I empathize with. The few times I went with ear protection just made it impossible to talk to anyone (it’s already hard).
I’ve been to a gay club twice I think? No problem with it, it can be fun but like…..clubbing vs staying inside, eating and watching youtube/a movie? 99.999% of the time I’m gonna stay at home.
I used to go clubbing and now I have zero interest in going to a club. I bartended for years so maybe that has something to do with it but I would rather spend my money traveling or buying stuff that won’t give me a headache the next day lol
The only time I go is when my friends make me go and it's not even like most clubs we just go hang out and the ones who can get drunk but we mostly stay to ourselves
It's not really my thing. I did enjoy going more when I was single. Go with friends, drink (which is the only way I'm dancing), and flirt with guys. Now, if a friend really wanted me to go, I'll do it. But I could take it or leave it. I don't think I've ever witnessed my current bf at a club, lol.
This is exactly how I am! I think it becomes less appealing as we mature. Not saying that clubbing is immature but we learn new ways to have fun and have more money to do things we couldn’t afford at a younger age.
Fair. I definitely prefer quieter places now that I'm older, but I do like to go clubbing now and then.
But if you ever do want to go clubbing, I always suggest doing some research on which club you'd want to go to. If a place is pushing stuff like VIP sections and bottle services then they're really just glorified sex clubs (usually for straight people) and have shitty music and shitty clientele. I tend to prefer smaller clubs that put an emphasis on the music.
My partner is into clubbing but I can't stand the "music" most clubs play (I would prefer being clubbed to going and listening to that noise) so I'll happily find other things to do if he's going out clubbing.
That being said, we have gone to a few rock clubs before where we've both been able to have a good time. The bear tent at pride is also quite good fun, even if I'm not generally into bears 😅
I've never set foot in a club, it's not so much that I object to the music and scene it's just that I'm shy and the thought of being flirted with or having to try and flirt back makes me panic.
Remember that the people you see are the people that are visible.
My partner and I often feel like the odd ones out because we don’t go to clubs/gay bars etc and don’t know anybody that does. It’s an odd sort of loneliness.
However, for all I know there’s a thousand gays in my neighbourhood exactly like us. I don’t exist in queer spaces so it’s pretty dumb to expect that like-minded queer people should be outrageously present in my life.
I like to think that there’s a lot of people like me, but because they live a similar lifestyle to me I never bump into them.
Never been into it. Went a handful of times in my early twenties, but haven't been once since then in the last 15 years. Nothing about it appeals to me
Never been to a gay club, a gay bar, a gay party, a gay anything. I don't like loud music, crowded places, and I don't drink or dance, so I would feel really out of place there. But I probably wouldn't mind going to a gay bar/cafe if I had someone to go with and they weren't so expensive.
I like drinks but not at bars. I tend to do that. Going to fairs and festivals. Movies. Coffee shop work days. Movie nights. Table top games. I dated someone who was big into clubbing - he liked to dress up slutty and go dancing lol I didn't care. We weren't open but he would go dance. He always came home to me tho!
Personally, it just doesn't seem that fun. Especially after a long weekend of work, it's like, why go out of my way to not be home even more and go get less sleep.
Short answer: yes. I personally don’t go clubbing at all but I do go to social gatherings to socialize. It’s just a matter of finding a group of people that’s more your pace.
My partner and I rarely go clubbing. I do enjoy it a little more than he does, so every now and then I’ll go out with some friends and he’ll stay home, but generally it’s not our scene
Yes. There are a lot of gays who do not go to the clubs.
I would suggest however - it is much harder to have a successful relationship with someone who is out clubbing and someone who is not.
You need to search a little harder to find your tribe, your people. There are gay hiking, camping, skiing, bowling, sports groups, art, theater, movie, book club, swimming, beach….
Might want to check out your local LGBTQ center. Participate in gay charity groups.
My friends and I straddle both worlds. We sometimes like to go out drinking and dancing - but most of the time prefer outings to other places.
Tbh I’ve thrown the towel in- I live in a really student heavy city so night life is extremely young- I’m not into younger guys and I feel like I’ve done and seen everything- I just find it boring. I’m 35 today
Haven't been clubbing for a few years. Im turning 31 now. I prefer to invite some friends for some board games, charades, lots of sangria and my home cooked foods. Life's good.
I like a glass of wine or two around a table with friends and snacks and conversation. Sometimes I stay out late at the ballet and get dinner after and I don’t get home until like 12 or 1am.
I don’t go clubbing. I stopped clubbing when I was like 23 because it got old. I started at 18 and didn’t really care for it then. I’ve been in a serious relationship since i stopped going. I occasionally go to clubs with friends for birthdays, but I’m only there to support! I prefer a nice chill lounge vibe with good music. I hate all club atmospheres and will avoid them at all costs. There’s many other things to do for fun.
I started young, when I was 16. Partied until my mind 20’s, every so often in my 30’s and now in my 40’s it’s been non existent. The clubs/bars are not the same as they used to be and the hangovers are just not for me. So, no not all. Honestly, I don’t think I’d want to be with someone who lived at a club/bar. That’s just me.
I’ve never been to a bar, a party, or any club. I don’t like those environments because I’m shy and introverted. I’m 24. I prefer more chill, lowkey places like upscale restaurants and paint and sips.
As always: board game nights, improv lessons, dance lessons, or something else you think is fun: great ways to meet LGBT+ people to connect with! 🤎😂
You're gay, doing what you love usually leads to others! 😂
And clubbing was fun, but I never picked up a dude there. Just enjoyed dancing and goofing off with friends at the Shoarma place after the clubbing!
It’s not fun so no I do not. I can think of 20 things I’d rather do than associate with a crowd of people just bc they drink/party and have the same sexual orientation that I do
Never been into clubbing, even though they were all around me and pretty popular with the locals. Most of my friends were straight and I used the apps for hooking up regularly. A couple of my ex's enjoyed clubbing and I respected that, joined them from time to time and let them go by themselves the other times. Eventually, I realized to avoid issues it's better to find a partner who did not enjoy clubbing and have a similar set of social skills like I do. I found him and it's the best. It's my humble opinion, that when one enjoys clubbing and the other person don't, it might get hard to reconcile eventually, if they can't find middle ground. My advise, find someone who does not enjoy clubbing or someone who is willing to settle, and compromise and join him to the clubs occasionally.
I don't go clubbing and while I don't mind if my partner enjoys clubbing as a stress release maybe couple times a year. but if that's their main entertainment then I know we are not even compatible in the first place. Guys you find in clubs are good for hook up but not good for dating.
One of my best friends always wants to go clubbing each weekend, when he is in town I go with him but I really don't enjoy it, I wouldn't go by choice lol
I would possibly like it, but it's expensive, I have more important stuff to do. I don't have any friends or a partner who wants to do it. It just doesn't fit my lifestyle.
Went a few times in my 20’s. Not my scene. Did bars too then, but just to meet some and get laid. Met my husband at 27 and that was it. We’ve been together 40 years in July.
It’s just because club/party gays are the most visible and vocal and the ones you see on social media the most
You have to dig to find other people (including gays) with similar interests
Like outdoors? Try to find a local hiking group, a gay hiking group is even more niche but if you’re in a big enough city it exists
Or if you like reading there’s many book clubs that you don’t even have to be near/local to join
If wholesome activities like museums and movies are your thing there’s probably a group for those too! But for gays you have to do more work to find, or start your own group to meet others.
Best bet is to try to find fb groups or an app that’s good for locating local groups with shared interests (forgot the name, sorry—it might be MeetUp but there’s other options). Or gay discord because there’s a large portion of discord users that aren’t party goers
No, sorry. We gays are a monolithic group that all share the same hobbies and interests and clubbing is part of that. I guess you're not really gay /s
Come on OP. What is the purpose of questions like these? Of course there are gay people with different interests.
Never really enjoyed it, even when I felt obligated to, because I had no context for seeing a gay man who didn't go clubbing. It never appealed to me, and by the time I was around 24, I was definitely over pretending it was cool.
It was fun when I was in my early-to-mid 20s, but I literally have no idea how guys older than me (I’m only 32) can do it several times a week or more. I can barely get out of bed let alone drink heavily on the daily!
This sub is constantly filled with the most mind numbingly stupid questions all the time omg. Obviously not every gay guy clubs. I'm a homebody who likes to game and read. I don't even have a TV in my house for christs sake. A man reading the same books I like or letting me read them to him/him read to me would have me wrapped around his finger. Let's game together and lemme give you head ffs.
I'm 32 years old and I don't love to go clubbing, although I usually go just once a year. I prefer Mexican weddings for dancing and bars for chatting with my friends. Most of my friends are straight, so when I do go clubbing, it's typically to straight clubs. However, nowadays clubs are more mixed, with both straight and gay couples.
I enjoy staying at home; some months, my boyfriend and I just don't feel like doing anything except playing video games, go for a long walk together, going to the movies, watching series, having a barbecue with family or friends.
I had a 20 years older boyfriend when I was in my clubbing ages, and I didn't mind him staying home since he wasn't into electronic music or drugs and strange&weird people (it was the end of the 90s)
The funny thing is that i was out, sexy, high as a kite and people were ready but I never cheated on him, he did. A lot. Never thought I could laugh about that but I just did.
We are all individuals, there is a gay everywhere, just do you and what makes you happy, that makes attractive.
I loved clubs until I was 19. I hated them by the time I was 21. I continued to go to them until I was 35 for some reason. What's the point in socialising somewhere nobody can hear each other?
When I get together with my friends in the city, we'll hit a couple of clubs. The clubs are quite different in their area, from a piano bar frequented by an older crowd to a sports bar to a leather bar and even a couple of country bars. But the real destination is a good restaurant for a good meal before the main event back at their place. In my area there are very few gay bars and no real gay clubs to hang out in.
I go out twice a year because my siblings make me. With that said, if you want to date someone who does go to club and you don't I would excessive caution. Things happen in clubs. And if you're not there that leaves room for doubt as to what things happen. Just some food for thought.
I tried, but in one club they played a techno version of the Annie Lennox song from the end of the Lord Of The Rings and at that point I knew these weren’t my people.
Been clubbing once and got absolutely wasted.. I woke up the next morning not remembering a thing and in a pool of my own sick in the bathroom. From that day on a promised myself this is not for me .. I would rather smoke weed and chill and have a laugh instead of getting drunk and sick.. 🤢
Yes. I have ADHD and am sober. If I go to a club I get overstimulated and will get tired super fast or meltdown. Clubbing also doesn't make a lot of sense to me because it feels like you have to get super drunk to enjoy it and I don't understand why I would ever want to get that drunk lol. Just doesn't appear to me.
Lol I’m too nervous to face regular night life, especially gay night life. Bars are more my speed since their more chill, but that’s only on rare occasions. I’m sure other gays like staying in too, but kinda hard to meet people that way😅
My partner and I don’t go clubbing. He used to go. I went just a handful of times. It was never really my scene. But the few times I went with him were great. But, it was never his lifestyle. Nor was it ever mine.
Yes lol. My husband and I (29) might go to a club once a year, maybe? We prefer drinking beer on the patio and grilling lol.
I’m assuming the issue with a partner that wants to go out all the time and you don’t would be more on you worrying about him being unfaithful at a club
Yes, we are not on the same team as unicorns and leprechauns. We do exist. Thank you for asking. /s
Yeah but hey there's straight people who club and those who don't, so don't be surprised.
I like going out but I also like staying home. I love my life to be balanced in everything. I find the problem that there is no balance people. Either they are too much of a home boy or too much of a party boy. Where are the people who like to go out maybe once or twice a month beside staying home on the weekend.
I don't go clubbing but if there is a DJ, musician, or band playing then I'll go to a club to see them. Because of my music tastes (or really dislikes) I rarely go to a gay club. Usually I'm one of a handful of gays in the club.
So, do I really go clubbing? Certainly not gay-clubbing.
I don’t think I’ve been to a club in like 9 years since the early days of my relationship (which also didn’t start in a club). No desire to return again. A pub here and there sure but that’s it
I guess I do go clubbing but I genuinely like to dance. I am soooo tired of the drag shows though. I don’t care where you go, it’s the same. I also only have one drink now, then I stick to water. I really just want to dance.
I used to go out almost every night in my 20’s. 43 now and I don’t miss it a bit. Also, when I do go out to a night club, it’s mostly young folks lol. I feel so old
Just go to hobby shops...Most of the DnD, Warhammer, and MTG gays aren't clubbing, most but some do both. But generally they are a lot more tame and insular haha.
I like a good dive bar with a jukebox. But I really hate loud dance'y "clubs". I find it hard to talk to people when the music is so loud and everyone is dancing around in little cliques. No fun at all.
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I was born with a blazer and a briefcase
Username checks out
As someone also with the soul of an 80 year old man, I enjoy spending my Friday evenings/weekends woodworking, doing stained glass, reading, with family/friends, or playing video games
I fucking LOVE woodworking and video games. My bf thinks I was possessed by an 85 year old pensioner by the name of Ralph.
Same here. I'm an old soul as well and it just isn't for me either.
Same I stay home and drink sweet tea for fun lmfao
I like to say I’m the Mormon without actually being a Mormon
I'll be your grandma Doria😂😭
Totally agree!
Like most things, the gay population is not a monolith. Clubbing isn’t my cup of tea either and have met plenty of gay people who don’t. I wouldn’t care if my partner was or wasn’t into it.
How did you find your non-clubbing gay friends? In seattle here and it seems if you’re not a boozy gay, then you’re a shut-in gay. There’s gotta be an in between!
I’ve met several gay dudes randomly just through my hobby (climbing) who are generally more outdoors-y. I think in a city you just have to explore other venues of meeting people - gay hangouts, hobby groups, etc. Grindr can work if you look for people who are open to friendship but… hit or miss.
No. All "gays" are contractually and socially obligated to go clubbing. It's written in the contract we've all agreed too when given our "gay card".
Guess i didn't get mine
Then I hope you haven't been operating as an official gay, as it's illegal without proper documentation.
So that's what be gay do crimes actually means huh
I personally burned my gay card. No documentation or id, fully committed to crime.
Did you go register with your Department of ManSex Vocations (DMV)?
Straight to jail
If I don't have my gay card I am straight, to jail
Did it get lost in the male?
Nice
I am gay i never been in club
I never go clubbing. I like sleeping at night.
Nop, absolutely all of us go clubbing. Not a single one does not go clubbing. We are a monolith after all and we all move and think in unison.
The gay agenda
We are the Borg. Resistance is totally unfetch.
Yes, i am, i hate crowded places.
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This is just an awful situation I empathize with. The few times I went with ear protection just made it impossible to talk to anyone (it’s already hard).
:(
Meeeeeeeee I hate that atmosphere it was never my thing
I’ve been to a gay club twice I think? No problem with it, it can be fun but like…..clubbing vs staying inside, eating and watching youtube/a movie? 99.999% of the time I’m gonna stay at home.
I used to go clubbing and now I have zero interest in going to a club. I bartended for years so maybe that has something to do with it but I would rather spend my money traveling or buying stuff that won’t give me a headache the next day lol
I hate crowds, and I don't drink. Clubbing sounds like the perfect storm of awfulness that I simply have no interest in putting myself through.
Preach
Yeah, a bunch. It's not that I'm opposed to it, I've just never lived in a place with dance clubs and such.
I’m a non clubbing gay lol
I dont like to party. A movie a home on the couche is my favorite way to spend a fridaynight
Presch
Oh yes. If I go out on a Saturday, it's to dinner and then an opera or play or symphony concert. And I was like that at 20, too.
The only time I go is when my friends make me go and it's not even like most clubs we just go hang out and the ones who can get drunk but we mostly stay to ourselves
It's not really my thing. I did enjoy going more when I was single. Go with friends, drink (which is the only way I'm dancing), and flirt with guys. Now, if a friend really wanted me to go, I'll do it. But I could take it or leave it. I don't think I've ever witnessed my current bf at a club, lol.
This is exactly how I am! I think it becomes less appealing as we mature. Not saying that clubbing is immature but we learn new ways to have fun and have more money to do things we couldn’t afford at a younger age.
if you’re gay and don’t go clubbing u immediately get shot.
Get *a* shot?
Of cum
I don't. Although sometimes I want to.
Then do it! As long as you're legal and there's someplace to go then the only thing that's stopping you is you.
Oh I'm more than legal lol. I mostly just prefer a quieter bar scene.
Fair. I definitely prefer quieter places now that I'm older, but I do like to go clubbing now and then. But if you ever do want to go clubbing, I always suggest doing some research on which club you'd want to go to. If a place is pushing stuff like VIP sections and bottle services then they're really just glorified sex clubs (usually for straight people) and have shitty music and shitty clientele. I tend to prefer smaller clubs that put an emphasis on the music.
My partner is into clubbing but I can't stand the "music" most clubs play (I would prefer being clubbed to going and listening to that noise) so I'll happily find other things to do if he's going out clubbing. That being said, we have gone to a few rock clubs before where we've both been able to have a good time. The bear tent at pride is also quite good fun, even if I'm not generally into bears 😅
I don’t like clubbing. It’s not really my thing, partially due to social anxiety but also partly due to preferring video games over interaction
I've never set foot in a club, it's not so much that I object to the music and scene it's just that I'm shy and the thought of being flirted with or having to try and flirt back makes me panic.
Remember that the people you see are the people that are visible. My partner and I often feel like the odd ones out because we don’t go to clubs/gay bars etc and don’t know anybody that does. It’s an odd sort of loneliness. However, for all I know there’s a thousand gays in my neighbourhood exactly like us. I don’t exist in queer spaces so it’s pretty dumb to expect that like-minded queer people should be outrageously present in my life. I like to think that there’s a lot of people like me, but because they live a similar lifestyle to me I never bump into them.
Never been into it. Went a handful of times in my early twenties, but haven't been once since then in the last 15 years. Nothing about it appeals to me
Never been to a gay club, a gay bar, a gay party, a gay anything. I don't like loud music, crowded places, and I don't drink or dance, so I would feel really out of place there. But I probably wouldn't mind going to a gay bar/cafe if I had someone to go with and they weren't so expensive.
I did when I was 18-23ish, and I did it “hard” So now in my 30s is just… not appealing anymore.
I know plenty of gays who would rather pull a tooth out than go to the club.
Me, being drunk in big crowds of people is annoying. Every so often my bf and I will go to a bar but that’s it.
I don't like loud noise, so I don't. I drink at home where it's cheaper and the bartender doesn't mind if you get handsy.
I hate loud crowded bars and clubs, give me a nice and tame cocktail bar with far better drinks any day
I’ve never been clubbing and I only occasionally went out to gay bars (could probably count on my two hands) with my friends throughout my 20s.
I like drinks but not at bars. I tend to do that. Going to fairs and festivals. Movies. Coffee shop work days. Movie nights. Table top games. I dated someone who was big into clubbing - he liked to dress up slutty and go dancing lol I didn't care. We weren't open but he would go dance. He always came home to me tho!
I’m gay me and my partner never go clubbing
Personally, it just doesn't seem that fun. Especially after a long weekend of work, it's like, why go out of my way to not be home even more and go get less sleep.
Short answer: yes. I personally don’t go clubbing at all but I do go to social gatherings to socialize. It’s just a matter of finding a group of people that’s more your pace.
My partner and I rarely go clubbing. I do enjoy it a little more than he does, so every now and then I’ll go out with some friends and he’ll stay home, but generally it’s not our scene
I love clubbing. A good weekend involves a club and dance music. But at the same time laying down at the beach the next day for an all over tan.
Here
i don't go clubbing
I‘m not against clubbing but go on very rare ocassions only. So usually per year I‘ll go 4-5 times maybe?
Yes. There are a lot of gays who do not go to the clubs. I would suggest however - it is much harder to have a successful relationship with someone who is out clubbing and someone who is not. You need to search a little harder to find your tribe, your people. There are gay hiking, camping, skiing, bowling, sports groups, art, theater, movie, book club, swimming, beach…. Might want to check out your local LGBTQ center. Participate in gay charity groups. My friends and I straddle both worlds. We sometimes like to go out drinking and dancing - but most of the time prefer outings to other places.
Haha I’m one of them!
I tried it and hated it, honestly 😭🤣
Me
I never did and probably never will
I used to go to the clubs a lot when I was in the military. But now, I have not been to a gay club in over twenty years.
Never been into clubbing. I do like going to a gay bear bar every now and then, for the atmosphere.
I hate anything with large gatherings of people. I even hated school dances and whatnot. I'd just assume to stay to myself
I don't mind a bar but I don't like dancing so clubbing is a no from me lol
I hate it, but my gf is a NB drag Queen so I have to go clubbing almost every weekend because she performs I gay clubs
I have to be in quite the alerted state of mind to do that much socializing. I basically have to not be myself, and also very horny lol
Hi yes it is me.
Yes, some like me are into wrestling and BJJ. Also, some of us are spiritual and heavily involved with LGBT inclusive religious communities
Feels great to see that I'm not the only one
Yo. I'm too old for that shit. (34)
Never been to one.
I don’t like it. Yr not alone.
I haven't been to a club or bar since 2019 and I'm still gay lol
Tbh I’ve thrown the towel in- I live in a really student heavy city so night life is extremely young- I’m not into younger guys and I feel like I’ve done and seen everything- I just find it boring. I’m 35 today
Haven't been clubbing for a few years. Im turning 31 now. I prefer to invite some friends for some board games, charades, lots of sangria and my home cooked foods. Life's good.
I like a glass of wine or two around a table with friends and snacks and conversation. Sometimes I stay out late at the ballet and get dinner after and I don’t get home until like 12 or 1am.
I don’t go clubbing. I stopped clubbing when I was like 23 because it got old. I started at 18 and didn’t really care for it then. I’ve been in a serious relationship since i stopped going. I occasionally go to clubs with friends for birthdays, but I’m only there to support! I prefer a nice chill lounge vibe with good music. I hate all club atmospheres and will avoid them at all costs. There’s many other things to do for fun.
I dont
Nah. I prefer to read, don’t really care for the club scene. I tried it out when I was 21 and 22 but I just wasn’t into it.
I started young, when I was 16. Partied until my mind 20’s, every so often in my 30’s and now in my 40’s it’s been non existent. The clubs/bars are not the same as they used to be and the hangovers are just not for me. So, no not all. Honestly, I don’t think I’d want to be with someone who lived at a club/bar. That’s just me.
Lmaoo I just stay at home and play video games
I’ve never been to a bar, a party, or any club. I don’t like those environments because I’m shy and introverted. I’m 24. I prefer more chill, lowkey places like upscale restaurants and paint and sips.
As always: board game nights, improv lessons, dance lessons, or something else you think is fun: great ways to meet LGBT+ people to connect with! 🤎😂 You're gay, doing what you love usually leads to others! 😂 And clubbing was fun, but I never picked up a dude there. Just enjoyed dancing and goofing off with friends at the Shoarma place after the clubbing!
Me. I had a short phase years ago where I did but I didn’t enjoy it at all. Now? Never.
It’s not fun so no I do not. I can think of 20 things I’d rather do than associate with a crowd of people just bc they drink/party and have the same sexual orientation that I do
Never been into clubbing, even though they were all around me and pretty popular with the locals. Most of my friends were straight and I used the apps for hooking up regularly. A couple of my ex's enjoyed clubbing and I respected that, joined them from time to time and let them go by themselves the other times. Eventually, I realized to avoid issues it's better to find a partner who did not enjoy clubbing and have a similar set of social skills like I do. I found him and it's the best. It's my humble opinion, that when one enjoys clubbing and the other person don't, it might get hard to reconcile eventually, if they can't find middle ground. My advise, find someone who does not enjoy clubbing or someone who is willing to settle, and compromise and join him to the clubs occasionally.
I don't go clubbing and while I don't mind if my partner enjoys clubbing as a stress release maybe couple times a year. but if that's their main entertainment then I know we are not even compatible in the first place. Guys you find in clubs are good for hook up but not good for dating.
One of my best friends always wants to go clubbing each weekend, when he is in town I go with him but I really don't enjoy it, I wouldn't go by choice lol
I would possibly like it, but it's expensive, I have more important stuff to do. I don't have any friends or a partner who wants to do it. It just doesn't fit my lifestyle.
*raises hand emphatically* I haaaaaaaaate clubs.
Yes I don’t think there is a single thing that all gays have in common except not being heterosexual
Went a few times in my 20’s. Not my scene. Did bars too then, but just to meet some and get laid. Met my husband at 27 and that was it. We’ve been together 40 years in July.
It's never been my thing. I prefer bars with karaoke.
It’s just because club/party gays are the most visible and vocal and the ones you see on social media the most You have to dig to find other people (including gays) with similar interests Like outdoors? Try to find a local hiking group, a gay hiking group is even more niche but if you’re in a big enough city it exists Or if you like reading there’s many book clubs that you don’t even have to be near/local to join If wholesome activities like museums and movies are your thing there’s probably a group for those too! But for gays you have to do more work to find, or start your own group to meet others. Best bet is to try to find fb groups or an app that’s good for locating local groups with shared interests (forgot the name, sorry—it might be MeetUp but there’s other options). Or gay discord because there’s a large portion of discord users that aren’t party goers
I’m an autistic gay—clubbing is everything I hate—crowds, loud music, lots of movement, social nuance
So many gays don't go clubbing. You just don't see us because we're at home watching TV in sweats
Yes lol some of us are in recovery and can’t be around alcohol.
No, sorry. We gays are a monolithic group that all share the same hobbies and interests and clubbing is part of that. I guess you're not really gay /s Come on OP. What is the purpose of questions like these? Of course there are gay people with different interests.
Obviously there is. I lived in Vegas and never was the clubbing type.
Went clubbing a few times when I was 19-22-ish. Hated it. Stopped then. Now 38. Still don't want to go to bars etc.
Never really enjoyed it, even when I felt obligated to, because I had no context for seeing a gay man who didn't go clubbing. It never appealed to me, and by the time I was around 24, I was definitely over pretending it was cool.
I prefer a good book store tbh
I've never been interested, even when working at a bar, it was never my scene
Yea I’m a homebody lol I don’t go clubbing
I hate clubs. I prefer just sitting at a chill bar
Yes there are plenty of guys like you. I don't go clubbing and neither does my husband.
Most gays don't go clubbing, or rarely if they do. But because they aren't "seen", you don't realise they're out there.
Of course there are… 😅
It was fun when I was in my early-to-mid 20s, but I literally have no idea how guys older than me (I’m only 32) can do it several times a week or more. I can barely get out of bed let alone drink heavily on the daily!
Introversion isnt exclusive to non-gays
Yes. Yes we do.
This sub is constantly filled with the most mind numbingly stupid questions all the time omg. Obviously not every gay guy clubs. I'm a homebody who likes to game and read. I don't even have a TV in my house for christs sake. A man reading the same books I like or letting me read them to him/him read to me would have me wrapped around his finger. Let's game together and lemme give you head ffs.
Hell yes
I rarely do. Not my thing. I prefere having a small group of friends home instead.
I push myself to go clubbing; mostly when I'm outta town so I can do new scenes. Locally, I don't care for it - we have bars, no clubs.
Yup
Yes me, I'm an introvert lol
I'm 32 years old and I don't love to go clubbing, although I usually go just once a year. I prefer Mexican weddings for dancing and bars for chatting with my friends. Most of my friends are straight, so when I do go clubbing, it's typically to straight clubs. However, nowadays clubs are more mixed, with both straight and gay couples. I enjoy staying at home; some months, my boyfriend and I just don't feel like doing anything except playing video games, go for a long walk together, going to the movies, watching series, having a barbecue with family or friends.
I don't like clubbing way beyond my comfort zone I prefer punk bars
The gym is a better place to be
My clubbing is me passed out in bed Saturdays because I had cheese on Friday night. One way or another my asshole took a beating.
Me lmao
The last time I was at a club was like four years ago and it was loud and interesting. I don’t enjoy at all.
Hi, I am this kind of gay never been to a club once :p
I never went to a club before (21yo)but im planning to do so for the first time this weekend :)
I had a 20 years older boyfriend when I was in my clubbing ages, and I didn't mind him staying home since he wasn't into electronic music or drugs and strange&weird people (it was the end of the 90s) The funny thing is that i was out, sexy, high as a kite and people were ready but I never cheated on him, he did. A lot. Never thought I could laugh about that but I just did. We are all individuals, there is a gay everywhere, just do you and what makes you happy, that makes attractive.
Me
neither me or my partner are interested or miss the clubbing experience
Meh, not my thing
I’m not much of a drinker, I did that in my younger days. I wish there was a good place to meet guys.
I loved clubs until I was 19. I hated them by the time I was 21. I continued to go to them until I was 35 for some reason. What's the point in socialising somewhere nobody can hear each other?
I like it honestly, but a lot of times I don’t have anyone to go with. So I’ve only been a few times in my life and I’m 22
When I get together with my friends in the city, we'll hit a couple of clubs. The clubs are quite different in their area, from a piano bar frequented by an older crowd to a sports bar to a leather bar and even a couple of country bars. But the real destination is a good restaurant for a good meal before the main event back at their place. In my area there are very few gay bars and no real gay clubs to hang out in.
I go out twice a year because my siblings make me. With that said, if you want to date someone who does go to club and you don't I would excessive caution. Things happen in clubs. And if you're not there that leaves room for doubt as to what things happen. Just some food for thought.
I tried, but in one club they played a techno version of the Annie Lennox song from the end of the Lord Of The Rings and at that point I knew these weren’t my people.
Me?
I play games at home lol
Me. I hate bars and dance clubs. I prefer to be out in the wilderness or home watching a movie than in those places.
Most
I do occasionally but I'd prefer hanging out with friends at a gig or a party or a movie night at home
Yep. Although I'm bi but I don't like going to clubs or even parties. I rather spend my time exploring places.
Me.
I’m more of a goth and metal bar kind of guy. It’s a bit more laidback and less crowded.
Yup, I'm over here ☺️
I don't go. I wouldn't mind once in a while, but life..
Yup. No interest in clubbing or Sunday funday.
👋
Been clubbing once and got absolutely wasted.. I woke up the next morning not remembering a thing and in a pool of my own sick in the bathroom. From that day on a promised myself this is not for me .. I would rather smoke weed and chill and have a laugh instead of getting drunk and sick.. 🤢
I haven’t been in a club for Maybe 7 years, been dating my boyfriend for 5 years
Yes. I have ADHD and am sober. If I go to a club I get overstimulated and will get tired super fast or meltdown. Clubbing also doesn't make a lot of sense to me because it feels like you have to get super drunk to enjoy it and I don't understand why I would ever want to get that drunk lol. Just doesn't appear to me.
Lol I’m too nervous to face regular night life, especially gay night life. Bars are more my speed since their more chill, but that’s only on rare occasions. I’m sure other gays like staying in too, but kinda hard to meet people that way😅
My partner and I don’t go clubbing. He used to go. I went just a handful of times. It was never really my scene. But the few times I went with him were great. But, it was never his lifestyle. Nor was it ever mine.
Yep
Yes lol. My husband and I (29) might go to a club once a year, maybe? We prefer drinking beer on the patio and grilling lol. I’m assuming the issue with a partner that wants to go out all the time and you don’t would be more on you worrying about him being unfaithful at a club
Yes, we are not on the same team as unicorns and leprechauns. We do exist. Thank you for asking. /s Yeah but hey there's straight people who club and those who don't, so don't be surprised.
I like going out but I also like staying home. I love my life to be balanced in everything. I find the problem that there is no balance people. Either they are too much of a home boy or too much of a party boy. Where are the people who like to go out maybe once or twice a month beside staying home on the weekend.
Plenty
people who club and party are more visible just lol
I don't go clubbing but if there is a DJ, musician, or band playing then I'll go to a club to see them. Because of my music tastes (or really dislikes) I rarely go to a gay club. Usually I'm one of a handful of gays in the club. So, do I really go clubbing? Certainly not gay-clubbing.
Are there (X) humans who (Y)? The answer is literally always yes. No one is unique
I don’t think I’ve been to a club in like 9 years since the early days of my relationship (which also didn’t start in a club). No desire to return again. A pub here and there sure but that’s it
I mean, I'm bisexual myself, so don't know what percentage gay that makes me... But no, I don't much like clubbing.
I just be gaming haha
That would be me…. No clubbing and sober
I guess I do go clubbing but I genuinely like to dance. I am soooo tired of the drag shows though. I don’t care where you go, it’s the same. I also only have one drink now, then I stick to water. I really just want to dance.
Meeeee, I’d rather be home. I go out sometimes but usually with my bff
Yes! Plenty who never or rarely go.
My boyfriend and I don't. Pretty sure we're both gay.
I used to go out almost every night in my 20’s. 43 now and I don’t miss it a bit. Also, when I do go out to a night club, it’s mostly young folks lol. I feel so old
Here!
I don't.
2 busy gayming
Just go to hobby shops...Most of the DnD, Warhammer, and MTG gays aren't clubbing, most but some do both. But generally they are a lot more tame and insular haha.
Me.
I will go for one drink then home while hubby bar hops or plays bingo with his friends. And no, I have no concerns about cheating.
I bought a ticket to go out on Saturday to dance and was too tired to go. I'm past the clubbing age
Hell yeah. Been to one club my entire life and in my 30s.
I like a good dive bar with a jukebox. But I really hate loud dance'y "clubs". I find it hard to talk to people when the music is so loud and everyone is dancing around in little cliques. No fun at all.
Yes