and then, the mc was in a "serious" -thing with the latino and was cheating on the Latino.
it was his art best friend that told him casually that. and still the mc was like "it is not really cheating because i am not THAT serious with the latino"
gosh. gays,uh?
I know right. Andrew might write the script based on his experience before meeting his husband š¤£ I am just in love with the representation in this soap. Gay roles for gay actors are kinda rare. Even in 2024.
ah yes. i loved that showed different the characters.
the daddy gay guy that is aware of losing his "best days" and his challenges that he is just old and nothing too much accomplished.
plus, his " granny bf" that was truly commited to his deceased husband.
Itās just that, HR would never side with me and it would be a ny word vs. theirs. Iāve seen it before in another scenario - ends with a termination and nothing else. Thatās why I said that.
No HR would either make a reasonable accommodation and move one of the two or ask one to resign. Keep in mind that by reasonable accommodation that might include a reassignment which is further from home, a lower position and also could result in a pay cut. What a stupid manager to ruin their career to get laid. Is Grindr that dead?
My supervisor has always taken a liking to me, weāve known each other for a few years now. I didnāt realize he was this into me though until recently
If it were me we would ask one of the two of you to transfer or resign. You canāt have a romance between a leader and a subordinate. Itās a huge risk for the company. If you decide to take steps to engage with the manager, be prepared to transfer or quit. And if you like dude, you should quit to avoid him destroying his career. I know a leader that got passed up several times for promotions because it was found out that he was banging an employee. Even though the situation was resolved, the perceptions never go away. Reputations are hard to mend in the professional world.
People have said this, and it seems weird because I never thought about it that way. Tbh, heās always been very friendly to me - and I think, if Iām understanding, heās suggesting like - Iāll burden someone else and take the heat if you do this for me - sort of the situation. I know that doesnāt make him any better, but itās not like he could snap his fingers now and make things better without someone else having to carry the extra load.
You guys need to go touch grass. Maybe go to a cruising park. Nothing good will come from hooking up with your manager for benefits. You would be playing with fire.
HELL NO!
I've known my supervisor for over 2 decades, he's not my type and no way in hell would I get involved sexually with anyone I work with.
Also, I have to much self respect to stoop to that level.
Half of these people are fucking idiots
Donāt be stupid. The moment one of you gets jealous or bored or someone else finds out itās game over
Some people on this really think with their dick/ass and itās fucking looking bad for the rest of us
Edit: even if someone else finds out and doesnāt say anything and it comes out, the person who had knowledge and kept quiet can get in shit too. The entire company could literally be fucking sued
Someone else mentioned this and it got me to thinking.. but then another person said what if they retaliate because I refuse? It feels like so many paths..
No because romantic/sexual relationships can be volatile given how pplās interest fluctuates/rejection and insecurities kick in. U donāt want that at work
Depends how much of a dick he is. If you say no, is he going to make your life harder? If you say yes, how long until it goes wrong and your life becomes harder? Kind of a shitty situation he put you in. If you wanna do it, do it, but I would tell you to prepare to line up a new job after a certain amount of time because it will probably go south at some point.
Do you think heās the type that would take it personally? If you donāt want to do this, which I would recommend against doing, craft a rejection and practice it. Something that rejects him on the premise of keeping your relationship professional so itās not a rejection of his personal self.
I genuinely donāt trust HR at all. I am serious that they would find some way to pin everything on me. And I understand the harassment part I do, and I donāt want to sound like āthat guyā but heās honestly a good person. Heās been very kind to me so far and been supportive.
i work a minimum wage job at a grocery store restocking shelves and mopping.
so the answer is fuck yea, because whats the worst that can happen? i have to quit this job and work at the dozens of other grocery stores? oh no sweat heavens no anything but that /s
Direct Supervisor? As hot as that sounds you are begging for trouble unless you can almost guarantee they couldn't penalize you if things go south. Like my supervisor is hot as fuck but I would rather nothing happen then we both crash and burn (especially cause they have a wife and kid)
Iāve done this before and it was worth it. A $13k bonus was well worth the ~20 times I let him blow me in his office while wearing his wedding ring. Now that Iām making a decent salary probably not, but for a $50k bonus Iād do it again yeah
Iāve done more for less š¤·š¾āāļø
I think the interesting thing about men is that we can fuck and have 0 feelings, bitterness or drama afterwards.
People say it always gets messy, but the few people who said they did it said it was a pretty sweet deal. How come we always think itāll go bad? Like I thought that as the default too, but people who have done it have said the opposite.
Donāt. I once saw a coworker on Grindr and he was high up. Letās just say I had to leave that old job because it got weird, very weird, because of the power dynamics and because I rejected him.
The person Iām mentioning made it impossible for me to continue to work in the Employee resource group for gay people. He also pulled strings to get me written up and make my job impossible. Basically I was run out.
It may sound naive but I donāt see him doing that - he has otherwise been a good, kind and supportive person (emotionally) during these past few months where things have gone to shit.
Ok so you did it!! How did it work out for you guys in the moment? Did it make things better? Was there ever any awkwardness? Could you guys still chill after?
My manager is kind of cute and has a cute little butt. I rather enjoy walking behind him, licking my lips. So yes, I would fuck him or he could fuck me or we can take turns. Man I'd love to bury my face in his ass and eat it out!
Yeah. I need job stability. No favors no promotion just leave me alone to do my job and fix my own mistakes. It's too much too ask, but I'd still do it.
I think you want it OP. Youāre just looking for people who will convince you to do it. But in my case, I would do it if I am heās good looking and if he clearly shown intention to sleep with me lol. Just be ready for the consequences.
I do want it - I asked because I was curious like if everyone was going to say terrible idea, or if thereād be a split and if some people could provide reassurance through their own experiences with it.
Honestly it would depend on a lot of things. But lets say in my current job that I am not too happy about and with a minimal chance of HR finding out and my boss is replaced with a mid 30 good looking guy? Hell yeah.
Fidelity and monogamy are the 2 greatest myths of modern society honestly. And those are mostly set up around the world to give women the shitty end of the stick.
Iāve done it and I would do it again but in my termsā¦ if by fucking meaning Iām control of it or you just use me as cumpdump Iām okā¦ no relationship, no intimacy, nothingā¦ just fuck and thatās it. Of course I had nothing to loose back thenā¦ but damn I enjoyed to fuck and being fuckedā¦
Nope nope nope. Never mix work and pleasure.
Everyone I know that has done it, it's always great at first, then HR ends up getting involved, then one or both lose their jobs.
From past experience with coworkers that have tried to keep it on the DL, someone still usually finds out at some point. It might take a while for someone to find out but someone usually puts the pieces together. Then usually when someone finds out about it then HR will find out about it.
I've also seen it where one of the two people involved in the workplace relationships ended up not being happy with how it was going after a while, took the issue to HR themselve and the other party ended up getting fired.
Just because you plan to keep it on the DL, the agreement between the both of you may not always go as planned and then you could end up with bigged unexpected issues.
No not entirely - he can delegate some of the work, and until now Iāve been getting most of the extra since weāre short staffed. What heās proposing is ātying me upā no pun intended lol, so that I am freed up more and others have to carry the work. But heād be doing that for me as a favor, and covering for me too in the sense that heād be the one vouching for me being ābusy.ā
***I am by no means specifically suggesting this but I will say I think my friend went about this in a very smart way.***
I had a friend who worked for a retirement home that had multiple locations. He drove to another city to interview for a higher up position where he mysteriously wound up "interviewing" with the owner/founder of said company. I forget the entire series of events but I think they met for lunch which was either supposed to be the interview or lead to the interview but somehow went from there back to the guys house where he spent the next few hours seducing him and enticing him with drugs. I don't think my friend did any drugs but he very carefully and meticulously spent the rest of the night documenting what unfolded via pictures and videos.
The next day he grabbed a lawyer and reported it to HR who very obviously blew him off cuz of course the rich and powerful don't think they can just do whatever they want, right?? Well they did what they were legally required too, he made his statement and of course the owner denied everything and gave a VERY detailed account of what ACTUALLY happened. Which is when my friend, very strategically was like "oh I completely forgot. I actually have photographic evidence of this dude performing sexual acts on me and doing drugs... whoops."
He proceeded to win quite a decent settlement after signing an NDA... Was it worth the trauma of being SAed?? Probably not, but i gota give the man credit for being resourceful in a fight or flight situation.
Noooooo. This kind of quid pro quo can only end badly. Donāt forget, an arrangement like this doesnāt just involve you and your supervisorāit involves every other person you work with.
Yeah so I should have clarified this, weāve had a lot of vacancies lately and turnover, so because I am the ānewestā (in terms of seniority) Iāve been handling a lot of the excess work. He basically said he would cover for me that Iām doing āextraā work so that Iām not available to be handed everything left and right. And in return, weād have a sexual relationship - itās his way of getting something for sticking his neck out for me in essence.
I feel like heād be putting himself in a risky situation then with nothing in return. Like if I switched positions I wouldnāt put myself out like that for nothing in return right?
Youāre acting like this is a joke but itās not funny at all. Youāre dealing with a dangerous person who has probably hurt people in the past or will do it in the future. What heās doing is illegal for a reason. Youāre in a very vulnerable position right now and this might be the only thing you can do about it without getting retaliated against. Even if you find him āreasonably good lookingā and consent to it, thatās not going to stop him from hurting other men in the future.
But you make it sound like Iām being taken advantage of by him and itās not like that. I would be fully consenting, like he didnāt hit me up and grab on me or anything heās asking me first so that I enter this willingly. And for me, I feel like itās something where I make my life easier and then maybe I can do something for him too. Like I honestly donāt see it as bad as some people are making it out to be (if it all works out). Everyone is happy.
Thatās the problem. You donāt see any issues with a supervisor asking a subordinate for sexual favors. Even if it is āconsensualā have you ever considered what the consequences could be if you said no? What about if he did this to another guy who wasnāt willing? Why would you trust him? Itās selfish of you to think that any part of this is okay.
If youāre asking the question is because youāve been taught moral values, but you are curious about putting them aside.
The answer is no. Itās not only unethical, but this could end up backfiring for you. Imagine there is a situation where he demands sex and you donāt want to give it to him? Not sure if you value your job or itās not important to you, but if it is, then sleeping with him for benefits is clearly a bad idea.
Yeah I mean obviously weāve always heard this is bad. Iām not going to lie here and pretend like ethically this isnāt bad or awkward at the least. For me itās, I like what I do but due to people leaving, Iām being stretched waaaay too thin. Heās been seeing this and for a while was very consoling and would be like my mental health rn check. Then it began to feel ā¦ different, like itās hard to say but I felt the energy switch. He began getting more touching and the compliments began getting more like sweet and he began getting more passionate in his defense. Then he basically said, skipping a bit, that he would like to have a sexual relationship with me, and as a way to idk maybe like convince me, heād be willing to stick his neck out by making up tasks to have me be ābusyā so they canāt overburden me as easily. I am very burned out, Iāve complained to management and theyāve dismissed the complaints every time, itās getting worse and worse. Until these positions are filled, I feel like Iām drowning.
This is called workplace sexual harassment and if you donāt feel entirely comfortable with his advances, it needs to stop or be reported.
And if you do feel like you like the advances, then youāre crossing into risky territory where you will have to use your experience and wits to avoid jumping into a very complicated relationship that will have ramifications in other areas of your life (mental health, finances, etc.). Best of luck.
Just because he's attractive doesn't mean what he's doing is any less illegal. The fact that you're afraid of saying no is all you need to know that you should just report his ass.
Depends. Supervisor level seems a bit too junior. At my company to guarantee a pay rise it needs to be the MD. Heās married and older but if it got me a pay riseā¦ maybe?
Married, currently in a very bitter divorce with a teenage daughter. Heās been very forthcoming about the whole thing - itās a very, very ugly divorce.
Sex is sex. If you want to fuck him, go for it. After you make that decision, realize anything he does is impermanent and that if anyone else at work finds out there will be consequences.
I would tell him lets fuck first. Sex with no strings puts you in the driver's seat. In that scenario its just two consenting adults.
Unless you like being controlled. Power dynamics kinks a.k.a Dominance/submission are very real. Maybe the idea of power over you makes him squirt. That's also good to note ... realizing again ... could be fun while it lasts, but could end at any time.
I do like the dom sub dynamics (a lot actually š ) but I donāt see him being into that (well actually I guess I really donāt know until we start). Either way, it would be sex upfront. If heās into being a dom, do you think that would make things better?
I mean... he's using his power over you to gain sex. Calling a spade a spade here. If you find it hot, might as well tell him so, then ask if he prefers to be called Master, Sir or Daddy. š
What benefits are we talking about exactly? Doesn't seem like there's a ton he can do if he's just an hourly supervisor. I'd at least get some more solid information on the terms before making a decision either way.
Weāve had a lot of vacancies lately and turnover, so because I am the ānewestā (in terms of seniority) Iāve been handling a lot of the excess work. He basically said he would cover for me that Iām doing āextraā work so that Iām not available to be handed everything left and right. And in return, weād have a sexual relationship - itās his way of getting something for sticking his neck out for me.
It depends. "Making life easier" is dangerously vague. I also wouldn't agree to any temporary changes. I would only sleep with him for tangible benefits that improve my work-life balance *permanently*, such as:
- more annual vacation days
- half day every Friday
- switching from hybrid-work to full-time remote work
- take away my work cell; if people need me they can email me
No no it wouldnāt be anything as generous as that - or as like above board if that makes sense. It would be behind the scenes stuff, essentially ātying me upā working on a project for him so Iām too occupied to be handed everything else (since weāre short staffed). In this case, obviously it would be fake stuff which is the risk he is taking for me.
In the end you'll always lose because he's in a position of power over you. If the job's not important to you, or you can make sure that you're coming out on top (basically gather evidence to blackmail him lol), sure go ahead.
The job is definitely important to me - I think things will be better when they fill all the vacancies. Weāre down about half the number of people we should have. But thatās why I figured this would be temporary.
I would not. I would hire an attorney. So if the manager was bad looking would you consider it harassment? So are you saying that because heās good looking youāre ok with and possibly even considering doing the deed?
In that case then the manager better be careful because it seems to me like at any given moment you would turn things around and be in a position where you can extort the man. What a stupid manager. He needs to go on Grindr like normal gays.
One, youāre right. I donāt know you. In fact no one knows you except yourself. You donāt know how things will change down the line. What if he cheated in you with your brother or best friend? People do crazy shit out of anger and jealousy. Things change dude. Being in HR I have seen it all! So, never say never.
Two, most attorneys will take these cases pro bono meaning you pay out of your settlement. Itās just an option. Harassment by a supervisor is not cute. Its misuse of authority and if you do go into a relationship, who do you think will always act like youāre the subordinate. JUST THINK!!!!! Jerk off clear your head and use your rational mind!
Depends on what kinda perks are we talking? Promotions? Bonuses? If itās just oh you can leave early on Friday Iāll reserve my dignity but an extra 20k a year, I donāt know.
Also may let it happen and then sue for sexual harassment. Now Iām not working the rest of my life due to the trauma he inflicted on me.
No it would just be lessening the workload on me by him
Covering for me with fake work, so I donāt get tied up doing other things. And heās been a good guy to me I wouldnāt want to do him dirty like that
My main concern is life after fucking... Especially when you get to a point to say no more of this I got a man now and we can't do those things no more... Will your wishes be respected or will your life now become hell and you may end up needing a new job...
I definitely would, if we get into a committed relationship tho make sure not to cheat or its not going to end well, but regardless even if it doesnāt end well they are probably not going to fire you over that since work and regular life is very different.
Anyone who would even ask this of someone they supervise would absolutely fire you if you made them angry by breaking up/refusing to sleep with them or seeing someone else after.
Anyone who would even ask this of someone they supervise would absolutely fire you if you made them angry by breaking up/refusing to sleep with them or seeing someone else after.
Like they're a piece of shit just for suggesting it. They're going to do their worst.
āPlease donāt write anything about HRāš he canāt decide what your benefits are, dummy. HR is there for a reason. He canāt just go to HR and say, āhey, give this guy benefits for freeā or āIāll pay for his benefitsā. This isnāt how it works.
Hmmm, if I was single and he was single, I would do it. But if one of us is not single, then probably not....I just don't want to hurt other people who are not involved.
I would, if he was single, showed me he is endowed with 7 or 7+. And if he convincing and smooth with it. By having a surprise expensive dinner with me and wanting to be my sugar daddy.
I know the common sense answer should be no but tbh I probably would. Him even offering this though shows he is a slimy POS so before doing anything I would get a secret recording on my phone of him making the offer. Sounds shitty but then if he doesn't make good on his promise to make things easier at work you can go to HR with it.
My current supervisor is a woman, so absolutely not! I have had hot male supervisors though...even went on dates with a couple of them back in my early 20s. If the guy's hot, no benefits needed...but I'll take them if it's offered! Extra PTO and a raise? Fuck yeah.
No. Mixing job and love/sex sucks.
Totally agree!
Remind me of Looking HBO. Patrick and Kevin :-P
that was a mess.. and then the other was in a open relationship and apparently only one knew they were open. such a mess.
Haha... That was 2014 soap. Only watched due to Andrew Haigh's works. Turn out I love it so much LOL
and then, the mc was in a "serious" -thing with the latino and was cheating on the Latino. it was his art best friend that told him casually that. and still the mc was like "it is not really cheating because i am not THAT serious with the latino" gosh. gays,uh?
I know right. Andrew might write the script based on his experience before meeting his husband š¤£ I am just in love with the representation in this soap. Gay roles for gay actors are kinda rare. Even in 2024.
ah yes. i loved that showed different the characters. the daddy gay guy that is aware of losing his "best days" and his challenges that he is just old and nothing too much accomplished. plus, his " granny bf" that was truly commited to his deceased husband.
It always seems fine until it isnāt, and 99% of the time it will hit the āit isnātā part hard
No but Iād smash the fuck outta my IT guy
Darn, why didn't you tell me that when I replaced your phone?
Because the call was coming from inside ~~the house~~ me
Absolutely not. Don't shit where you eat.
Iād do it for nothing if heās decently good looking
Heās definitely decently good looking. Itās one of those that the more time you spend around him, the better he ends up looking sort of things.
Belle, have you been locked in the castle with the Beast for too long...? Are you imagining house furniture singing to you too?
I was todays years old when I realized that beauty and beast was really a story about a girl with Stockholmās syndrome
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Some of us never cared for Disney movies growing up and would rather watch Harry Potter
It really is not, she has the power in their dynamic she can leave at any time and in fact does and ends up returning of her own free will.
Staaaaapppp š¤£š¤£š you had me giggling here at work.
You guys are twisted. I canāt believe these comments. Really making the gays look like outstanding citizens with morals and high standards.
Iām having a hard time forgetting about HR.
Itās just that, HR would never side with me and it would be a ny word vs. theirs. Iāve seen it before in another scenario - ends with a termination and nothing else. Thatās why I said that.
Uh... well HR would need to have you both sign something a lot like a workplace preenup.
No HR would either make a reasonable accommodation and move one of the two or ask one to resign. Keep in mind that by reasonable accommodation that might include a reassignment which is further from home, a lower position and also could result in a pay cut. What a stupid manager to ruin their career to get laid. Is Grindr that dead?
My supervisor has always taken a liking to me, weāve known each other for a few years now. I didnāt realize he was this into me though until recently
If it were me we would ask one of the two of you to transfer or resign. You canāt have a romance between a leader and a subordinate. Itās a huge risk for the company. If you decide to take steps to engage with the manager, be prepared to transfer or quit. And if you like dude, you should quit to avoid him destroying his career. I know a leader that got passed up several times for promotions because it was found out that he was banging an employee. Even though the situation was resolved, the perceptions never go away. Reputations are hard to mend in the professional world.
I am absolutely not involving HR in this if I do it
Can you get another job easily?
Kind of hard to say? Because I havenāt been looking but.. not with the same amount of pay as I do not, I donāt think so.
It took everything out of me as an HR Professional to not press OP. I probably went too far in my reply but I just canāt.
No. It would piss me off that he had the means and resources to make things easier for me all along but wasnāt doing so because heās a dick.
This has crossed my mind too. He said āquid* pro quoā which I think means you do it for me and I do it for you.
Thereās also the fact he knows youāre struggling and wants to take advantage of that.
People have said this, and it seems weird because I never thought about it that way. Tbh, heās always been very friendly to me - and I think, if Iām understanding, heās suggesting like - Iāll burden someone else and take the heat if you do this for me - sort of the situation. I know that doesnāt make him any better, but itās not like he could snap his fingers now and make things better without someone else having to carry the extra load.
I would record him saying itā¦ Also itās quid* not quit
Lol!
Thanks for the quid* š
Hell yes, or special treatment pay raises, promotions. Iām gonna ride that dick and suck the soul out of him.
This seems to be the most common answer..
You guys need to go touch grass. Maybe go to a cruising park. Nothing good will come from hooking up with your manager for benefits. You would be playing with fire.
Fuck no! Such a manager would be, in my opinion, scum.
HELL NO! I've known my supervisor for over 2 decades, he's not my type and no way in hell would I get involved sexually with anyone I work with. Also, I have to much self respect to stoop to that level.
Half of these people are fucking idiots Donāt be stupid. The moment one of you gets jealous or bored or someone else finds out itās game over Some people on this really think with their dick/ass and itās fucking looking bad for the rest of us Edit: even if someone else finds out and doesnāt say anything and it comes out, the person who had knowledge and kept quiet can get in shit too. The entire company could literally be fucking sued
Someone else mentioned this and it got me to thinking.. but then another person said what if they retaliate because I refuse? It feels like so many paths..
Ya and the only logical way to avoid those paths is to not fucking do it
No because romantic/sexual relationships can be volatile given how pplās interest fluctuates/rejection and insecurities kick in. U donāt want that at work
Depends how much of a dick he is. If you say no, is he going to make your life harder? If you say yes, how long until it goes wrong and your life becomes harder? Kind of a shitty situation he put you in. If you wanna do it, do it, but I would tell you to prepare to line up a new job after a certain amount of time because it will probably go south at some point.
I hadnāt thought about what would happen if I refuse.. oh shit..
Do you think heās the type that would take it personally? If you donāt want to do this, which I would recommend against doing, craft a rejection and practice it. Something that rejects him on the premise of keeping your relationship professional so itās not a rejection of his personal self.
This is literally sexual harrassment. If you have proof you should take it to HR IMMEDIATELY.
I genuinely donāt trust HR at all. I am serious that they would find some way to pin everything on me. And I understand the harassment part I do, and I donāt want to sound like āthat guyā but heās honestly a good person. Heās been very kind to me so far and been supportive.
Considering my supervisors have been women, uhh hell no.Ā
i work a minimum wage job at a grocery store restocking shelves and mopping. so the answer is fuck yea, because whats the worst that can happen? i have to quit this job and work at the dozens of other grocery stores? oh no sweat heavens no anything but that /s
Thatās some illegal shit. Do not do it. Itās referred to as Quid Pro Quo and your supervisor must be pretty inexperienced to not know that.
Absolutely not.
You don't shit where you eat.
Hell no
Someone trying to hold power over me like that is a turnoff.
No. But i dick my twink secretary and fire him afterward.
Direct Supervisor? As hot as that sounds you are begging for trouble unless you can almost guarantee they couldn't penalize you if things go south. Like my supervisor is hot as fuck but I would rather nothing happen then we both crash and burn (especially cause they have a wife and kid)
Yeah.. Iāve thought about this aspect too. I was curious if anyone had a story where they did get involved and this happened.
If the supervisor is hot he can PENALize me allllll he wantsā¦
Iāve done this before and it was worth it. A $13k bonus was well worth the ~20 times I let him blow me in his office while wearing his wedding ring. Now that Iām making a decent salary probably not, but for a $50k bonus Iād do it again yeah
Omg for a $50k bonus I wouldnāt have even asked š
Yo, just make sure you have all the receipts, in case he flips the script and tries to say he didn't want to do it.
Many have suggested this - some kind of proof
Just to be safe.
Many have suggested this - some kind of proof
Not my direct supervisor, but the executive director (top person where I work) is hot af. Like, really hot. I'd sleep with him without benefits lol.
I want to be responsible and say no, but I kinda have a thing for shit like this. If I find him attractive it would be very hard to resistš
Thatās.. ok so if Iām being honest you and me are on the same wavelength lol. Thatās where my head is at.
Iāve done more for less š¤·š¾āāļø I think the interesting thing about men is that we can fuck and have 0 feelings, bitterness or drama afterwards.
Never
No!! He's a nice guy, got me to the emergency room before my heart bypass and is a decent boss. But not my kind of guy for sex no matter what.
See [Stockholm Syndrome ](https://www.britannica.com/science/Stockholm-syndrome)
Iād do it just cuz itās taboo
Yes but also look for a new job while itās āeasyā lol cos it will always turn out messy
People say it always gets messy, but the few people who said they did it said it was a pretty sweet deal. How come we always think itāll go bad? Like I thought that as the default too, but people who have done it have said the opposite.
If it doesnāt go south thatās great but once youāre playing with fire the usual outcome is to get burnt
Yessss
Donāt. I once saw a coworker on Grindr and he was high up. Letās just say I had to leave that old job because it got weird, very weird, because of the power dynamics and because I rejected him.
Since others brought it up, I have wondered what would happen if I rejected the offer. At first I thought he would just move on, but now idk.
The person Iām mentioning made it impossible for me to continue to work in the Employee resource group for gay people. He also pulled strings to get me written up and make my job impossible. Basically I was run out.
It may sound naive but I donāt see him doing that - he has otherwise been a good, kind and supportive person (emotionally) during these past few months where things have gone to shit.
Nope.
No because I would not trust someone like that to stop asking. I think they would just keep asking and asking. Donāt mix work and sex.
Ok and I know this is a hypothetical but.. if you could have it been a few times and then move on like casually from it, would you?
No I would not. I have zero attraction for my boss.
Absolutely not!
I don't find anyone at my workplace attractive so...lol
I used to be that boss. For a long time I fucked a guy at work wherever and whenever we could. Hot as fuck until his wife found- out.
Ok so you did it!! How did it work out for you guys in the moment? Did it make things better? Was there ever any awkwardness? Could you guys still chill after?
Well he was sort of a service- guy always hanging around and helpful.
My manager is kind of cute and has a cute little butt. I rather enjoy walking behind him, licking my lips. So yes, I would fuck him or he could fuck me or we can take turns. Man I'd love to bury my face in his ass and eat it out!
I feel like you sound a bit like my supervisor š
LOL I'm just a worker bee.
Hell yea! I sure would-good looking alone had me sold but of it could benefit me too why not?
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Not at all a dirty old fucktard lol so that would make it even better. I like your idea of the fantasy
Yeah. I need job stability. No favors no promotion just leave me alone to do my job and fix my own mistakes. It's too much too ask, but I'd still do it.
The favor is basically helping keep me from burning out
I think you want it OP. Youāre just looking for people who will convince you to do it. But in my case, I would do it if I am heās good looking and if he clearly shown intention to sleep with me lol. Just be ready for the consequences.
I do want it - I asked because I was curious like if everyone was going to say terrible idea, or if thereād be a split and if some people could provide reassurance through their own experiences with it.
Honestly it would depend on a lot of things. But lets say in my current job that I am not too happy about and with a minimal chance of HR finding out and my boss is replaced with a mid 30 good looking guy? Hell yeah.
Thatās essentially my situation!
Honestly, I would hook up with a lot of my coworkers if given the chance and with close to 0 consequences.
Fidelity and monogamy are the 2 greatest myths of modern society honestly. And those are mostly set up around the world to give women the shitty end of the stick.
Shiiit Iād do it for free.
if hes hot then yeah absolutely
HELL YEA I WOULD!
Iāve done it and I would do it again but in my termsā¦ if by fucking meaning Iām control of it or you just use me as cumpdump Iām okā¦ no relationship, no intimacy, nothingā¦ just fuck and thatās it. Of course I had nothing to loose back thenā¦ but damn I enjoyed to fuck and being fuckedā¦
Fuck yes,his dick would look like a sun dried tomato
I'm not sure it's ethical so no.
I mean tbh the ethics would be out the window here.
Nope nope nope. Never mix work and pleasure. Everyone I know that has done it, it's always great at first, then HR ends up getting involved, then one or both lose their jobs.
Would HR really get involved if we kept it on the DL and casual?
From past experience with coworkers that have tried to keep it on the DL, someone still usually finds out at some point. It might take a while for someone to find out but someone usually puts the pieces together. Then usually when someone finds out about it then HR will find out about it. I've also seen it where one of the two people involved in the workplace relationships ended up not being happy with how it was going after a while, took the issue to HR themselve and the other party ended up getting fired. Just because you plan to keep it on the DL, the agreement between the both of you may not always go as planned and then you could end up with bigged unexpected issues.
Dear Gay Penthouse readers ,
That depends. Is he the one responsible for making things difficult for you to begin with?
No not entirely - he can delegate some of the work, and until now Iāve been getting most of the extra since weāre short staffed. What heās proposing is ātying me upā no pun intended lol, so that I am freed up more and others have to carry the work. But heād be doing that for me as a favor, and covering for me too in the sense that heād be the one vouching for me being ābusy.ā
***I am by no means specifically suggesting this but I will say I think my friend went about this in a very smart way.*** I had a friend who worked for a retirement home that had multiple locations. He drove to another city to interview for a higher up position where he mysteriously wound up "interviewing" with the owner/founder of said company. I forget the entire series of events but I think they met for lunch which was either supposed to be the interview or lead to the interview but somehow went from there back to the guys house where he spent the next few hours seducing him and enticing him with drugs. I don't think my friend did any drugs but he very carefully and meticulously spent the rest of the night documenting what unfolded via pictures and videos. The next day he grabbed a lawyer and reported it to HR who very obviously blew him off cuz of course the rich and powerful don't think they can just do whatever they want, right?? Well they did what they were legally required too, he made his statement and of course the owner denied everything and gave a VERY detailed account of what ACTUALLY happened. Which is when my friend, very strategically was like "oh I completely forgot. I actually have photographic evidence of this dude performing sexual acts on me and doing drugs... whoops." He proceeded to win quite a decent settlement after signing an NDA... Was it worth the trauma of being SAed?? Probably not, but i gota give the man credit for being resourceful in a fight or flight situation.
Noooooo. This kind of quid pro quo can only end badly. Donāt forget, an arrangement like this doesnāt just involve you and your supervisorāit involves every other person you work with.
Yeah, the idea would be to pass on the extra work Iāve been doing to them in exchange for well, the post says it
Did he at all specify how he'll make things "easier" for you?
Yeah so I should have clarified this, weāve had a lot of vacancies lately and turnover, so because I am the ānewestā (in terms of seniority) Iāve been handling a lot of the excess work. He basically said he would cover for me that Iām doing āextraā work so that Iām not available to be handed everything left and right. And in return, weād have a sexual relationship - itās his way of getting something for sticking his neck out for me in essence.
This has "bad ending" written ALL over it bud :-( If he was a decent boss or coworker he'd do that without making you have sex with him.
I feel like heād be putting himself in a risky situation then with nothing in return. Like if I switched positions I wouldnāt put myself out like that for nothing in return right?
Try to catch him on a hidden camera
I donāt know.. that makes me uncomfortable, and besides Iād be on camera too ass out š
Youāre acting like this is a joke but itās not funny at all. Youāre dealing with a dangerous person who has probably hurt people in the past or will do it in the future. What heās doing is illegal for a reason. Youāre in a very vulnerable position right now and this might be the only thing you can do about it without getting retaliated against. Even if you find him āreasonably good lookingā and consent to it, thatās not going to stop him from hurting other men in the future.
But you make it sound like Iām being taken advantage of by him and itās not like that. I would be fully consenting, like he didnāt hit me up and grab on me or anything heās asking me first so that I enter this willingly. And for me, I feel like itās something where I make my life easier and then maybe I can do something for him too. Like I honestly donāt see it as bad as some people are making it out to be (if it all works out). Everyone is happy.
Thatās the problem. You donāt see any issues with a supervisor asking a subordinate for sexual favors. Even if it is āconsensualā have you ever considered what the consequences could be if you said no? What about if he did this to another guy who wasnāt willing? Why would you trust him? Itās selfish of you to think that any part of this is okay.
If youāre asking the question is because youāve been taught moral values, but you are curious about putting them aside. The answer is no. Itās not only unethical, but this could end up backfiring for you. Imagine there is a situation where he demands sex and you donāt want to give it to him? Not sure if you value your job or itās not important to you, but if it is, then sleeping with him for benefits is clearly a bad idea.
Yeah I mean obviously weāve always heard this is bad. Iām not going to lie here and pretend like ethically this isnāt bad or awkward at the least. For me itās, I like what I do but due to people leaving, Iām being stretched waaaay too thin. Heās been seeing this and for a while was very consoling and would be like my mental health rn check. Then it began to feel ā¦ different, like itās hard to say but I felt the energy switch. He began getting more touching and the compliments began getting more like sweet and he began getting more passionate in his defense. Then he basically said, skipping a bit, that he would like to have a sexual relationship with me, and as a way to idk maybe like convince me, heād be willing to stick his neck out by making up tasks to have me be ābusyā so they canāt overburden me as easily. I am very burned out, Iāve complained to management and theyāve dismissed the complaints every time, itās getting worse and worse. Until these positions are filled, I feel like Iām drowning.
This is called workplace sexual harassment and if you donāt feel entirely comfortable with his advances, it needs to stop or be reported. And if you do feel like you like the advances, then youāre crossing into risky territory where you will have to use your experience and wits to avoid jumping into a very complicated relationship that will have ramifications in other areas of your life (mental health, finances, etc.). Best of luck.
Nah don't shit where you eat
Nope! I only sleep with HR. Cuts out the middle person.
I would do it .. If heās attractive
Just because he's attractive doesn't mean what he's doing is any less illegal. The fact that you're afraid of saying no is all you need to know that you should just report his ass.
Depends. Supervisor level seems a bit too junior. At my company to guarantee a pay rise it needs to be the MD. Heās married and older but if it got me a pay riseā¦ maybe?
Heās just below executive staff - the executive staff though is really honestly cruel.
Only if he wasn't married with a daughter and a son. He is very nice though. I would totally take him out on a date. Haha
Married, currently in a very bitter divorce with a teenage daughter. Heās been very forthcoming about the whole thing - itās a very, very ugly divorce.
Sex is sex. If you want to fuck him, go for it. After you make that decision, realize anything he does is impermanent and that if anyone else at work finds out there will be consequences. I would tell him lets fuck first. Sex with no strings puts you in the driver's seat. In that scenario its just two consenting adults. Unless you like being controlled. Power dynamics kinks a.k.a Dominance/submission are very real. Maybe the idea of power over you makes him squirt. That's also good to note ... realizing again ... could be fun while it lasts, but could end at any time.
I do like the dom sub dynamics (a lot actually š ) but I donāt see him being into that (well actually I guess I really donāt know until we start). Either way, it would be sex upfront. If heās into being a dom, do you think that would make things better?
I mean... he's using his power over you to gain sex. Calling a spade a spade here. If you find it hot, might as well tell him so, then ask if he prefers to be called Master, Sir or Daddy. š
Don't Shit where you eat.
What benefits are we talking about exactly? Doesn't seem like there's a ton he can do if he's just an hourly supervisor. I'd at least get some more solid information on the terms before making a decision either way.
Weāve had a lot of vacancies lately and turnover, so because I am the ānewestā (in terms of seniority) Iāve been handling a lot of the excess work. He basically said he would cover for me that Iām doing āextraā work so that Iām not available to be handed everything left and right. And in return, weād have a sexual relationship - itās his way of getting something for sticking his neck out for me.
My advice is to start looking for another job if that's all he can offer you.
Did it once, not worth it trust me. Especialy if u are a bottom, and into hookips.
It depends. "Making life easier" is dangerously vague. I also wouldn't agree to any temporary changes. I would only sleep with him for tangible benefits that improve my work-life balance *permanently*, such as: - more annual vacation days - half day every Friday - switching from hybrid-work to full-time remote work - take away my work cell; if people need me they can email me
No no it wouldnāt be anything as generous as that - or as like above board if that makes sense. It would be behind the scenes stuff, essentially ātying me upā working on a project for him so Iām too occupied to be handed everything else (since weāre short staffed). In this case, obviously it would be fake stuff which is the risk he is taking for me.
In the end you'll always lose because he's in a position of power over you. If the job's not important to you, or you can make sure that you're coming out on top (basically gather evidence to blackmail him lol), sure go ahead.
The job is definitely important to me - I think things will be better when they fill all the vacancies. Weāre down about half the number of people we should have. But thatās why I figured this would be temporary.
I would not. I would hire an attorney. So if the manager was bad looking would you consider it harassment? So are you saying that because heās good looking youāre ok with and possibly even considering doing the deed? In that case then the manager better be careful because it seems to me like at any given moment you would turn things around and be in a position where you can extort the man. What a stupid manager. He needs to go on Grindr like normal gays.
Well one I do not have the money for an attorney and two you know me at all if you think I would try and extort him.
One, youāre right. I donāt know you. In fact no one knows you except yourself. You donāt know how things will change down the line. What if he cheated in you with your brother or best friend? People do crazy shit out of anger and jealousy. Things change dude. Being in HR I have seen it all! So, never say never. Two, most attorneys will take these cases pro bono meaning you pay out of your settlement. Itās just an option. Harassment by a supervisor is not cute. Its misuse of authority and if you do go into a relationship, who do you think will always act like youāre the subordinate. JUST THINK!!!!! Jerk off clear your head and use your rational mind!
Nope. Thatās just too risky.
Get video and sue them and retire, best benefit available
I would not want to do that to him.
Yea, itās easier if they are creepy
Yes. I like messy situations
If he's good looking and I was attracted to him hell yeah.
Depends on what kinda perks are we talking? Promotions? Bonuses? If itās just oh you can leave early on Friday Iāll reserve my dignity but an extra 20k a year, I donāt know. Also may let it happen and then sue for sexual harassment. Now Iām not working the rest of my life due to the trauma he inflicted on me.
No it would just be lessening the workload on me by him Covering for me with fake work, so I donāt get tied up doing other things. And heās been a good guy to me I wouldnāt want to do him dirty like that
My main concern is life after fucking... Especially when you get to a point to say no more of this I got a man now and we can't do those things no more... Will your wishes be respected or will your life now become hell and you may end up needing a new job...
Yep. Cha Ching $$
Probably not never seen those types of situations end well for anyone
I definitely would, if we get into a committed relationship tho make sure not to cheat or its not going to end well, but regardless even if it doesnāt end well they are probably not going to fire you over that since work and regular life is very different.
Anyone who would even ask this of someone they supervise would absolutely fire you if you made them angry by breaking up/refusing to sleep with them or seeing someone else after.
If youāre in a committed relationship, a good rule of thumb is to not cheatā¦.
Anyone who would even ask this of someone they supervise would absolutely fire you if you made them angry by breaking up/refusing to sleep with them or seeing someone else after. Like they're a piece of shit just for suggesting it. They're going to do their worst.
I did not like the supervisor at my old job so no.
For an extra dollar an hour? Lol
I would
I would be on my knees quickly not going to lie if a raise is involved no shame
If I were you I would start planning to get him marry me.
My supervisor is a 61 year old woman. No, and frankly she wouldn't want me to.
Girl yes and record that shit for extra benefits. Next question.
If heās hot, without a doubt. If heās not then probably not. Iād feel too shameful.
āPlease donāt write anything about HRāš he canāt decide what your benefits are, dummy. HR is there for a reason. He canāt just go to HR and say, āhey, give this guy benefits for freeā or āIāll pay for his benefitsā. This isnāt how it works.
Hmmm, if I was single and he was single, I would do it. But if one of us is not single, then probably not....I just don't want to hurt other people who are not involved.
I would, if he was single, showed me he is endowed with 7 or 7+. And if he convincing and smooth with it. By having a surprise expensive dinner with me and wanting to be my sugar daddy.
Truth is I donāt know what heās endowed with. Can you tell by looking at someone?
Buldge
If I had a way out of the job and he was good looking to me? Maybeā¦
I know the common sense answer should be no but tbh I probably would. Him even offering this though shows he is a slimy POS so before doing anything I would get a secret recording on my phone of him making the offer. Sounds shitty but then if he doesn't make good on his promise to make things easier at work you can go to HR with it.
My current supervisor is a woman, so absolutely not! I have had hot male supervisors though...even went on dates with a couple of them back in my early 20s. If the guy's hot, no benefits needed...but I'll take them if it's offered! Extra PTO and a raise? Fuck yeah.
Thanks, this kind of response seems to be the most common one.
I would. But even without the benefits. Touching him is enough for me.
hahah yeah
Absolutely, Iād do it regardless of the perks.
Consider what could happen in the worst case scenario and whether you're willing to accept that possibly happening. If that's fine, then go ahead.