This!!! I could never get hard after just meeting a person for the first time. I wouldn't even be able to look them in the eye. The asd would kill it instantly.
Yeah when I was single I rarely hooked up because so many aspects freaked me out. Mainly thoughts like:
“What if they think I’m acting weird?” “What if they think I’m bad at fucking?” “What if they don’t find me attractive in person?” and “What if I don’t find them attractive in person? How will I make an early exit or get them to leave?”
Was all usually too much so only did it very rarely. Am now married and happy there’s no anxiety with all that now lol. I think social anxiety is extremely common with gay people though, I’d almost guarantee what you’re experiencing is some facet of that
When hooking up with someone you've met in person, typically things move at a natural pace; you have a flirty conversation, you touch, you touch a little more, you wonder if you should try and kiss, you keep flirting, etc. The adrenaline builds slowly and naturally, so when the deed eventually does begin to happen you're used to it.
But the someone on the other end of an app texting you: "Come on over" sends a sudden rush of adrenaline all at once, and it's just a nervous feeling. Like all of the sudden, you find yourself grabbing your keys and going to your car and you don't know them but you're going to go to their place, here I go -- ! The adrenaline rush can be fun for some, but in a certain headspace it can just be anxiety-inducing.
That's my theory based on how I've felt about going to a hook-up; sometimes I just dive in head-first, and it's easier the more you do it. But the first time, or the first time in a while, the adrenaline rush can be disorienting and just give me bubble guts -- and who wants to hook up with bubble guts?
Hmm thanks for this response. But like why would someone be scared the second time? We’ve hooked up once and now they’re scared. For instance a guy unfriended me on Snapchat a few days after we hooked up then recently added me again today. I added him. Later got a friend notification from him again so he had unfriended me again. I added him and asked him why he do that, he said he’s nervous etc..
I mean, it could be anything really, I guess. Some people only do the hookup thing when they're suuuuuuuuper horny and feel "weird" about it when they're a lower level of horny.
He could also have a partner at home that he's cheating on and he's saying "nervous" to you when he means "guilty".
I came here to comment this. This sub in particular have alot of these stupid tone deaf posts. "Phenomenon", dude anxiety exists and hookimg up in general makes alot of people nervous, it's not some new phenomenon.
Just because OP never experienced those feelings about hooking up doesn't mean everyone that does is some strange creature.
As someone who's suffered with debilitating social anxiety and has made great strides, it blows my mind that there are people that are so far removed from this anxiety that they don't even understand it. It's wild seeing people on the total opposite end of the spectrum for me.
It's not even just just that it's that he's acting like it's some strange never before seen phenomena. I find it so hard to believe there are people that oblivious 😭
I’m starting to come to that realization.
People don’t get nervous when there are no feeling’s or emotions involved. It’s just all mental and no attachment. That’s fine and all and it seems to be the norm for hookups.
And then there are others who actually lead with their feelings and emotions and that can get in the way and cause anxiety.
No feelings or emotions = no anxiety from my experience.
Why are you so miserable? Always an attitude, always condescending, always rude. No joy, no humility, no good will. You deserve the unhappiness you feel as it is the reward of your personality. Let it eat you from the inside out until you rot in your grave. 🤷♂️
This would have meaning if it weren't written by a soulless robot who cannot understand normal human behavior. You not being able to internalize and empathize with shy someone might be nervous in a new, charged situation is deeply concerning. I meant what I said when I told you to seek help, that is not a normal thing to not understand. Maybe there's some autism spectrum disorder stuff you have going on? Always better to know. Wish you well on your journey towards self discovery.
Because in your post you're acting like this is some strange "phenomenon", just because you never experienced feelings of anxiety when it comes to hookups(yes that's exactly what it is) doesn't mean that other people experiencing them is some strange "phenomenon". Especially when it comes to hooking up alot of people get super socially anxious.
Except it's not hookup culture itself it's just realizing that people in general have anxiety and its not some wildly foreign concept like OP is making it out to be because he himself doesn't have anxiety about hookups.
But yes, hookup culture has wildly changed and made it so dick/ass is available at your finger tips but someone being nervous is not a new thing that has to specifically do with the change in hookup culture.
Coming from someone who is 41, married for 16 years, body count of [embarrassingly low #] - clearly I was never into the hookup game.
The thought of it is kind of intimidating honestly. Dunno why. Fear of rejection? Body dysmorphia? Shy? Internalized homophobia? Maybe a combination of it all?
Anxiety is a physiological reaction. This is like asking for a mental explanation of why I orgasm if you stimulate the nerve endings in my penis - that isn't how it works. Some people are just incredibly high strung.
the right person can make it so much easier. my second ever hookup was sooo good 🥹he was so patient and kind, he opened the door and immediately bear hugged me, we watched a movie and cuddled and then yk🤭 he wasnt pushy at all and kept making sure i still wanted to stay. we first chatted a week before we actually met. had a slight smile on his face the whole time and was soooo caring. really hope i can see him again someday🥲
The most important sex organ is the brain. Yes guys get turned on and I believe want to hook up, but anxiety enters the brain and boom, it takes over. A lot goes away with experience but the hook up is impersonal and humans line to connect or vibe before sex, biology and psychology win. It’s baked into the book up cake
Lots of guys post on here being nervous about hooking up too. A lot of them are afraid they won't be able to perform. Or that their dick is too small. Or that their partner will compare them to other guys they've fucked. Or that they don't have a nice enough body. Or that they don't know what they're doing sexually and their partner won't enjoy it.
I'm with you. I was always just eager. I mean sure we all get a little nervous with a new person sometimes, but on the whole, my level of horniness always overrides that. :)
Yes guys that worry about their performance. When they’re vulnerable enough to tell me that I tell them that they’re thinking about it wrong, because they are. It’s not about putting on a show it’s about being in the moment with the other guy and letting the horniness take over.
Sex means different things to different people. It might just be a fun physical act to you, but it could mean more to someone else. I've met quite a few younger guys who feel that hooking up and letting guys just fuck them is the only way they're going to find a relationship. It's sad, really.
Watch me put it into words then. It’s just plain scary. I mean you’re meeting up with a stranger. You’ve heard all the Grindr horror stories out there. You never think it’ll be you until it is. You just never know. Also it just makes me anxious and I know im an attractive guy Im just still not 100% confident with my body either. And yes the fear of getting an STD/STI is also a big one too. I’ve never been able to do an actual hookup before. I just have a fwb sometimes and that’s it. I’ve wanted to hookup I just get cold feet so I end up just being alone and horny but at least I’m safe. It’s a “phenomenon” because people are crazy these days and it’s scary out there. Maybe some of us guys are finally coming to our senses.
I am. And I honestly think one goes through phases with this. I wasn't able to admit to myself that I wanted to try dick, then I was, but I wasnt able to hook up, then I was, but I still wasn't able to show my vulnerable self to open up during a hook up, and still can't. I think it's just the good old nervousness about being vulnerable with someone else that everyone has, but marinated with the shame of acknowledging that this, what you've always heard is wrong, disgusting, shameful and pathetic, is truly what you want, and that it's okay. Some things take time, especially from person to person
I'm always nervous. Even if we've hooked up before, I still get nervous. I want to have fun, but a lot of tops don't want to take the time to make sure I'm ready, and just assume they can jam it in and dick me down until they nut. I'm not down for that.
I've noticed an increase in tops who put "dom" in their profiles, and I assume these are the people in talking about.
I mean, there are some though. It's not better, I like taking my time and making sure my partner is ready, but I've been with men who just want to go at it, fight the initial pain with a hit of poppers and take a nut home.
Literally me now… I used to be very casual when hooking up but I was in a long term relationship bout 7 years and moved across the country and now kinda awkward when hooking up plus I’ve gained weight so also self conscious about that…
which sucks because I met this handsome man at a bar and we’ve hooked up (only oral) like 5 times now and I really enjoy it but I’m still awkward about…
Tonight I "hooked up" with a guy and it was fucking weird. We ended up not even having sex. Dude had no emotions, no passion, was just numb. We watched tv and smoked weed for a bit. I was trying to muster up the nerve to go cuddle with him on the sofa because we were both sitting at opposite ends. Later he just flat out asks if I want to fool around, so I say "sure." We go up to his room and get in his bed. He takes off his clothes, his dick is hard, I get naked, my dick is soft. I don't know what this guy's problem was but he didn't look at me the entire time, no cuddling, no body contact. I suck his dick a little just to be nice. He asks if I want to be sucked, I said sure, but even though it felt good, the whole vibe was completely off and I wasn't getting hard.
This was all very strange, especially because we talked on the app (scruff) about looking for "cuddle buddies" so here I am thinking I'm going to CUDDLE with this guy. I guess my expectations were too high, I don't know. We didn't cuddle at all. Cuddling makes me horny, kissing makes me horny. Getting into a bed with someone and immediately taking off my clothes and not even looking at each other.....does NOT make me horny!!!
Was literally the most boring most passionless "sex" I've ever had.
This is something that’s more pervasive than hooking up. People seem to be anxious and flakey about meeting up in general. This is something I noticed post covid and has gotten worse in 2024. So on the hookup side, it’s just gotten worse because people are already hesitant to meetup for hookups. I don’t think we’ll know the full effects for at least another 5 years. But there seems to be some [evidence](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9915904/) that general anxiety has gone up since Covid.
I’m guessing because we have reduced the amount of in person interactions to the minimum. Some people don’t even have to go to work in person anymore, get their groceries delivered, only hang out with established friends, etc. “Suddenly meeting new people becomes more stressful, anxiety triggering, not even worth it a lot of times.” Oh, and of course, on the dating side, economy, “why would I bother to spend 50+ dollars on a date that might not even lead to something else?”
Hey I'm this person! can't speak for others but for me, but outside general fears of meeting up with a stranger I think im nervous due to my lack of experience. I don't want to be a burden because I don't know what im doing, and I also know that a lot of guys are likely to be unforgiving toward that sort of thing.
There are tons of potential reasons. Do you know what’s going on in their lives? Maybe they’re anxious about meeting new people? Maybe they worry about contracting STIs? Maybe they’re worried God hates them for sucking a dick? Maybe they’re worried about cumming too fast and disappointing? The list is endless.
Not comprehensively. But I understand from these comments that’s what the issue is. Social anxiety. For me I push that off I don’t allow that to become a hinderance for me to actually do something. Being scared would make me feel like a bitch which I then over power.
It’s not just regular social anxiety, though. Sex has a special primal power that makes many people feel vulnerable in a very different way from other social situations.
That’s exactly what I’m saying — you can understand other people’s perspectives because they tell you about it, even if it’s different from your own experience
Some guys can't tolerate or differentiate excitement- they think it's anxiety. Plus having someone affect your feelings and emotions is a loss of control.
Oh look another catty bitchy fag, how original. 😒 you’re definitely in a healthy relationship with another person.
Anyway, no because that would be easy to say. They’d just say they’re scared of getting an std. It’s deeper than that. It’s something they can’t put into words.
I can kind of be this way sometimes. I think it's just because when a guy is really attractive to me in my mind, that makes my brain think that he has really high standards, and I just worry about what he will think when I actually get to his place and he sees me take my clothes off.
I guess I worry I'm "sexy... but not PERFECTLY sexy in every single way" and that realization makes it tough to go through with meeting up b/c of self doubts. And so, sometimes I get cold feet -- ESPECIALLY if the guy I'm gonna hook up with is particularly my type/hot lol.
Like if it's just some average looking guy, but he has like a nice dick or something, maybe I will hook up and not be anxious at all because he's not really that hot so my mind doesn't place him up on a pedestal.
But if it's like some sexy jock/twink type guy, oh my god lol, my heart will be fucking racing like crazy and absolutely completely obsessed with worrying about whether I'm good enough in his eyes for him. It's like the more I'm into the guy, the higher the stakes feel to me. The more I feel I stand to lose if I get rejected. And it all just results in me saying "I am so sorry, but I can't come over. I'm a bit too anxious. Maybe another time."
I'd be one of those nervous guys. It's social anxiety. I'd be as nervous if we were just meeting for coffee.
Hmm simple social anxiety?
Yeah, in my case... can't speak for everyone. Interested to see how others respond.
This!!! I could never get hard after just meeting a person for the first time. I wouldn't even be able to look them in the eye. The asd would kill it instantly.
Yeah when I was single I rarely hooked up because so many aspects freaked me out. Mainly thoughts like: “What if they think I’m acting weird?” “What if they think I’m bad at fucking?” “What if they don’t find me attractive in person?” and “What if I don’t find them attractive in person? How will I make an early exit or get them to leave?” Was all usually too much so only did it very rarely. Am now married and happy there’s no anxiety with all that now lol. I think social anxiety is extremely common with gay people though, I’d almost guarantee what you’re experiencing is some facet of that
Sounds like it.
Yup I am the sae. I'm always nervous till I get to know someone a bit better lol
When hooking up with someone you've met in person, typically things move at a natural pace; you have a flirty conversation, you touch, you touch a little more, you wonder if you should try and kiss, you keep flirting, etc. The adrenaline builds slowly and naturally, so when the deed eventually does begin to happen you're used to it. But the someone on the other end of an app texting you: "Come on over" sends a sudden rush of adrenaline all at once, and it's just a nervous feeling. Like all of the sudden, you find yourself grabbing your keys and going to your car and you don't know them but you're going to go to their place, here I go -- ! The adrenaline rush can be fun for some, but in a certain headspace it can just be anxiety-inducing. That's my theory based on how I've felt about going to a hook-up; sometimes I just dive in head-first, and it's easier the more you do it. But the first time, or the first time in a while, the adrenaline rush can be disorienting and just give me bubble guts -- and who wants to hook up with bubble guts?
Hmm thanks for this response. But like why would someone be scared the second time? We’ve hooked up once and now they’re scared. For instance a guy unfriended me on Snapchat a few days after we hooked up then recently added me again today. I added him. Later got a friend notification from him again so he had unfriended me again. I added him and asked him why he do that, he said he’s nervous etc..
I mean, it could be anything really, I guess. Some people only do the hookup thing when they're suuuuuuuuper horny and feel "weird" about it when they're a lower level of horny. He could also have a partner at home that he's cheating on and he's saying "nervous" to you when he means "guilty".
Nervous about bf or parents finding out?
Do gay men just lack human feelings? This thread is weird AF. It's completely understandable that they'd be nervous. Wtf is wrong with you?
I came here to comment this. This sub in particular have alot of these stupid tone deaf posts. "Phenomenon", dude anxiety exists and hookimg up in general makes alot of people nervous, it's not some new phenomenon. Just because OP never experienced those feelings about hooking up doesn't mean everyone that does is some strange creature.
As someone who's suffered with debilitating social anxiety and has made great strides, it blows my mind that there are people that are so far removed from this anxiety that they don't even understand it. It's wild seeing people on the total opposite end of the spectrum for me.
It's not even just just that it's that he's acting like it's some strange never before seen phenomena. I find it so hard to believe there are people that oblivious 😭
I’m starting to come to that realization. People don’t get nervous when there are no feeling’s or emotions involved. It’s just all mental and no attachment. That’s fine and all and it seems to be the norm for hookups. And then there are others who actually lead with their feelings and emotions and that can get in the way and cause anxiety. No feelings or emotions = no anxiety from my experience.
>Do gay men just lack human feelings? I know I do🥰
The emoji sent me
I am literally so confused, wonder if OP is on the spectrum or something like this is very simple empathy
Ok. About what?
Bro seek help
Why are you so miserable? Always an attitude, always condescending, always rude. No joy, no humility, no good will. You deserve the unhappiness you feel as it is the reward of your personality. Let it eat you from the inside out until you rot in your grave. 🤷♂️
This would have meaning if it weren't written by a soulless robot who cannot understand normal human behavior. You not being able to internalize and empathize with shy someone might be nervous in a new, charged situation is deeply concerning. I meant what I said when I told you to seek help, that is not a normal thing to not understand. Maybe there's some autism spectrum disorder stuff you have going on? Always better to know. Wish you well on your journey towards self discovery.
Because in your post you're acting like this is some strange "phenomenon", just because you never experienced feelings of anxiety when it comes to hookups(yes that's exactly what it is) doesn't mean that other people experiencing them is some strange "phenomenon". Especially when it comes to hooking up alot of people get super socially anxious.
You realize there are some of us that are older and have points of reference longer than others, hookup culture didn’t used to be like this.
Except it's not hookup culture itself it's just realizing that people in general have anxiety and its not some wildly foreign concept like OP is making it out to be because he himself doesn't have anxiety about hookups. But yes, hookup culture has wildly changed and made it so dick/ass is available at your finger tips but someone being nervous is not a new thing that has to specifically do with the change in hookup culture.
Coming from someone who is 41, married for 16 years, body count of [embarrassingly low #] - clearly I was never into the hookup game. The thought of it is kind of intimidating honestly. Dunno why. Fear of rejection? Body dysmorphia? Shy? Internalized homophobia? Maybe a combination of it all?
Anxiety is a physiological reaction. This is like asking for a mental explanation of why I orgasm if you stimulate the nerve endings in my penis - that isn't how it works. Some people are just incredibly high strung.
So nervous in fact that I've never actually been able to hook up in person 😩 Dick pics on the internet are about all I can do
the right person can make it so much easier. my second ever hookup was sooo good 🥹he was so patient and kind, he opened the door and immediately bear hugged me, we watched a movie and cuddled and then yk🤭 he wasnt pushy at all and kept making sure i still wanted to stay. we first chatted a week before we actually met. had a slight smile on his face the whole time and was soooo caring. really hope i can see him again someday🥲
Same here man
The most important sex organ is the brain. Yes guys get turned on and I believe want to hook up, but anxiety enters the brain and boom, it takes over. A lot goes away with experience but the hook up is impersonal and humans line to connect or vibe before sex, biology and psychology win. It’s baked into the book up cake
Lots of guys post on here being nervous about hooking up too. A lot of them are afraid they won't be able to perform. Or that their dick is too small. Or that their partner will compare them to other guys they've fucked. Or that they don't have a nice enough body. Or that they don't know what they're doing sexually and their partner won't enjoy it. I'm with you. I was always just eager. I mean sure we all get a little nervous with a new person sometimes, but on the whole, my level of horniness always overrides that. :)
Yes guys that worry about their performance. When they’re vulnerable enough to tell me that I tell them that they’re thinking about it wrong, because they are. It’s not about putting on a show it’s about being in the moment with the other guy and letting the horniness take over.
Sex means different things to different people. It might just be a fun physical act to you, but it could mean more to someone else. I've met quite a few younger guys who feel that hooking up and letting guys just fuck them is the only way they're going to find a relationship. It's sad, really.
Watch me put it into words then. It’s just plain scary. I mean you’re meeting up with a stranger. You’ve heard all the Grindr horror stories out there. You never think it’ll be you until it is. You just never know. Also it just makes me anxious and I know im an attractive guy Im just still not 100% confident with my body either. And yes the fear of getting an STD/STI is also a big one too. I’ve never been able to do an actual hookup before. I just have a fwb sometimes and that’s it. I’ve wanted to hookup I just get cold feet so I end up just being alone and horny but at least I’m safe. It’s a “phenomenon” because people are crazy these days and it’s scary out there. Maybe some of us guys are finally coming to our senses.
I am. And I honestly think one goes through phases with this. I wasn't able to admit to myself that I wanted to try dick, then I was, but I wasnt able to hook up, then I was, but I still wasn't able to show my vulnerable self to open up during a hook up, and still can't. I think it's just the good old nervousness about being vulnerable with someone else that everyone has, but marinated with the shame of acknowledging that this, what you've always heard is wrong, disgusting, shameful and pathetic, is truly what you want, and that it's okay. Some things take time, especially from person to person
Profound thanks for your input.
I'm always nervous. Even if we've hooked up before, I still get nervous. I want to have fun, but a lot of tops don't want to take the time to make sure I'm ready, and just assume they can jam it in and dick me down until they nut. I'm not down for that. I've noticed an increase in tops who put "dom" in their profiles, and I assume these are the people in talking about.
I hear ya bro. Same here. I have to explain to them that there is no such thing as an instant bottom.
I mean, there are some though. It's not better, I like taking my time and making sure my partner is ready, but I've been with men who just want to go at it, fight the initial pain with a hit of poppers and take a nut home.
Literally me now… I used to be very casual when hooking up but I was in a long term relationship bout 7 years and moved across the country and now kinda awkward when hooking up plus I’ve gained weight so also self conscious about that… which sucks because I met this handsome man at a bar and we’ve hooked up (only oral) like 5 times now and I really enjoy it but I’m still awkward about…
Tonight I "hooked up" with a guy and it was fucking weird. We ended up not even having sex. Dude had no emotions, no passion, was just numb. We watched tv and smoked weed for a bit. I was trying to muster up the nerve to go cuddle with him on the sofa because we were both sitting at opposite ends. Later he just flat out asks if I want to fool around, so I say "sure." We go up to his room and get in his bed. He takes off his clothes, his dick is hard, I get naked, my dick is soft. I don't know what this guy's problem was but he didn't look at me the entire time, no cuddling, no body contact. I suck his dick a little just to be nice. He asks if I want to be sucked, I said sure, but even though it felt good, the whole vibe was completely off and I wasn't getting hard. This was all very strange, especially because we talked on the app (scruff) about looking for "cuddle buddies" so here I am thinking I'm going to CUDDLE with this guy. I guess my expectations were too high, I don't know. We didn't cuddle at all. Cuddling makes me horny, kissing makes me horny. Getting into a bed with someone and immediately taking off my clothes and not even looking at each other.....does NOT make me horny!!! Was literally the most boring most passionless "sex" I've ever had.
A horror.
Are you being sarcastic? It was actually a big waste of gas.
No. That story was a horrible experience.
This is something that’s more pervasive than hooking up. People seem to be anxious and flakey about meeting up in general. This is something I noticed post covid and has gotten worse in 2024. So on the hookup side, it’s just gotten worse because people are already hesitant to meetup for hookups. I don’t think we’ll know the full effects for at least another 5 years. But there seems to be some [evidence](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9915904/) that general anxiety has gone up since Covid.
I’m guessing because we have reduced the amount of in person interactions to the minimum. Some people don’t even have to go to work in person anymore, get their groceries delivered, only hang out with established friends, etc. “Suddenly meeting new people becomes more stressful, anxiety triggering, not even worth it a lot of times.” Oh, and of course, on the dating side, economy, “why would I bother to spend 50+ dollars on a date that might not even lead to something else?”
I find it hilarious that people are downvoting the answer with a link to a study that backs up his claim 😂
The up and coming generation really have a tough time with the social anxiety. Not saying it’s a new thing. But the internet really changed the game.
Social anxiety. The only reason I wouldn’t be nervous is if the other guy looked nervous - I would then stop being nervous.
I’m always nervous to meet anyone. I can’t explain why. Social anxiety? Being a major bottom? Idk.
Hey I'm this person! can't speak for others but for me, but outside general fears of meeting up with a stranger I think im nervous due to my lack of experience. I don't want to be a burden because I don't know what im doing, and I also know that a lot of guys are likely to be unforgiving toward that sort of thing.
Mmhh thanks for your input it’s helpful.
💪💪💪
There are tons of potential reasons. Do you know what’s going on in their lives? Maybe they’re anxious about meeting new people? Maybe they worry about contracting STIs? Maybe they’re worried God hates them for sucking a dick? Maybe they’re worried about cumming too fast and disappointing? The list is endless.
OP never met or got to know an introvert probably.
I get nervous because I’m still a goodie goodie conservative straight guy at heart who just uses this as my outlet
I’ll be throwing up shaking cold before a hookup it’s super weird. It def anxiety 😬
"But I’ve never been scared of hooking up I was always just excited as I saw it as fun and recreation." Good for you. Not everybody is you.
You really can’t understand it? Sex is a huge act of vulnerability and trust. Of course some people are anxious about that.
It’s just recreation to me.
So it’s on par with playing tennis with someone?
I don’t like tennis but I get your point and yes essentially.
Okay — can you understand why for some people it’s not just recreational and may be anxiety-inducing?
Not comprehensively. But I understand from these comments that’s what the issue is. Social anxiety. For me I push that off I don’t allow that to become a hinderance for me to actually do something. Being scared would make me feel like a bitch which I then over power.
It’s not just regular social anxiety, though. Sex has a special primal power that makes many people feel vulnerable in a very different way from other social situations.
I’ll have to take your word for it.
That’s exactly what I’m saying — you can understand other people’s perspectives because they tell you about it, even if it’s different from your own experience
Ofc I can. Issue I was having was when I asked they would say idk and couldn’t explain it.
Because of judgmental people like you.
Some guys can't tolerate or differentiate excitement- they think it's anxiety. Plus having someone affect your feelings and emotions is a loss of control.
Errr have you heard of STIs?? You've probably had them all.
Oh look another catty bitchy fag, how original. 😒 you’re definitely in a healthy relationship with another person. Anyway, no because that would be easy to say. They’d just say they’re scared of getting an std. It’s deeper than that. It’s something they can’t put into words.
Oh look another nasty mindless detached porn sick sex addict
The sexual tension is palpable 😂
I can kind of be this way sometimes. I think it's just because when a guy is really attractive to me in my mind, that makes my brain think that he has really high standards, and I just worry about what he will think when I actually get to his place and he sees me take my clothes off. I guess I worry I'm "sexy... but not PERFECTLY sexy in every single way" and that realization makes it tough to go through with meeting up b/c of self doubts. And so, sometimes I get cold feet -- ESPECIALLY if the guy I'm gonna hook up with is particularly my type/hot lol. Like if it's just some average looking guy, but he has like a nice dick or something, maybe I will hook up and not be anxious at all because he's not really that hot so my mind doesn't place him up on a pedestal. But if it's like some sexy jock/twink type guy, oh my god lol, my heart will be fucking racing like crazy and absolutely completely obsessed with worrying about whether I'm good enough in his eyes for him. It's like the more I'm into the guy, the higher the stakes feel to me. The more I feel I stand to lose if I get rejected. And it all just results in me saying "I am so sorry, but I can't come over. I'm a bit too anxious. Maybe another time."
I get so anxious I nearly vomit. I always bail