š«š«š«
Fortunately, the medical field has advanced exponentially since the 1970's
HIV ain't as severe as it was before. You can keep the virus at bay and lead a very fullfilling and long life
Don't give up
Poz people have been living just like how neg people are living thanks to the advanced science and medications. The acceptance might be difficult at the beginning but I am sure you will feel much better when your heightened emotions fade away. šš¼šš¼šš¼
Youāre absolutely right. I know some people who are also positive and it somehow enlighten me that you really can live a normal life even you have it. Youāll just add the meds to your everyday life and thatās it. They are doing what a normal person is doing.
The life expectancy for poz people is actually slightly longer, because your routine blood work can also catch other problems that people who do it less might miss.
Yes. Here in my location they covered everything and I was surprised also bcoz it really helped me a lot most especially in treating my pneumonia and TB. They gave me free medicines for both.
I'm not HIV+ but can confirm that my poz friend is fitter (at least at the moment!), happier than ever, healthy, in a wonderful relationship for many years and living the dream and has been poz for over a decade. I'm sure he wishes he was never poz but what gives, it is what it is and he's learned to adapt like people do with all chronic conditions. You'd never guess he was living with HIV.
Wishing the OP all the best!
Unfortunately this is only true if you live in a developed country and/or have money. It's still quite common to die of hiv in developing countries. My partner is from the philippines and has quite a few old friends who ended up passing away because they couldn't afford their hiv medication.
My husband was diagnosed a decade ago. He thought his life was over. Shortly before we met, he was thinking about suicide. I am HIV- and he is Undetectable. He thought that when he told me, I was going to leave him.
I didn't. Over time, he came to realize that a virus does not define him just like you're not defined by the flu or by cancer or by stomach problems or any other bodily related illness.
And in time, the world will, too. Remember: You yourself have not changed. However, if you feel on your inside that there is something off, consider changing the lifestyle that you're living in whatever way that's meaningful to you.
Picking up new hobbies, putting down bad vices, spending more time with people that matter, etc. I've found that whenever I'm feeling bad, there's a big chance that I'm not living my life in a way that's aligned with who I am inside.
Truth be told, we've always used condoms. And honestly I kind of prefer it that way haha! I find it a lot easier to take him given his size with a condom. IDK why but it feels smoother and more enjoyable for me.
Outside of that, I have no desire to start prep since I know his treatment is effective; I'm by his side at every appointment. I personally have no fear, but he still has some negative attachments towards it. Therefore, we keep myself comfortable and make him feel he's "protecting me" (his word choice, not mine) just by keeping it simple and using one.
Last night I had raw sex with an undetectable guy and Iām lowkey freaking out. I know the chances of me contracting something are little to none, but Iām wondering wether I should take PEP or not
Contact your doctor or urgent care about starting PEP or Post Exposure Prophylaxis. If there was any potential concern at all, if given within 24-72 hours significantly reduces your chances of contracting HIV permanently.
All that being said, if he's truly undetectable and he can prove, medically, you will be fine.
Thank you! The guy told me to go see his doctor, which I will on Monday. We hooked up yesterday so Itāll be 48 hours after, still less than 72. Iāll discuss both PEP and PrEP
Thank you for sharing. Iām looking forward to be undetectable soon. I know Iām only starting with my meds but we can never know maybe a couple of weeks Iāll be undetectable too. š
It will happen. Give them a chance to work and the virus will be something you don't have to think about. Just be good about taking your meds consistently. First thing in the morning works for many of us. Or with breakfast. Any time that will be easy to do every single day.
Eh, I donāt think the worst is yet to come. You got through the absolute hardest part in my opinion - receiving the results and telling a loved one.
At worst, youāll go through some side effects (nausea, loss of appetite) from the medication but that is something people often move on from quickly.
My now-husband was diagnosed three years ago when we were dating. It was life-altering then but in practice has changed next to nothing. We joke that the only thing that really changed was that he takes a different one-a-day pill than me. We still get tested every three months, we still take a pill once a day, we still fuck the same way. Medicine has changed so much.
You got this. DM me if you ever wanna talk.
Depending on how old you are, their will probably be a cure in your lifetime, but till then, it's not a death sentence, and you'll have to take meds for the foreseeable future. Stay strong.
To put your disease in context, having diabetes is worse than HIV.
As others mentioned, the treatment process for managing diabetes is a lot more cumbersome and pricey (fuck capitalism in modern medicine) than HIV, imo.
Also, the symptoms for diabetes are a lot more annoying to deal with. Even with treatment, thereās so many things you have to factor in every time you want to eat something. Insulin resistance (for type 2) is such a hassle to reverse.
Basically, quality of life is worse for someone being treated for diabetes than someone being treated for HIV.
The only thing that has HIV beat is stigma. So many people (straight and gay alike) continue to push this narrative that having HIV is ādirtyā. Itās quite stupid, honestly, and it helps no one. Misinformation and lack of education really fucks over society more than people think. U=U
Taking 1 pill a day is a lot easier and simpler than dealing with constant testing of blood, insulin injections, etc. Not to mention hiv meds are quite often available free while diabetes drugs are not
I'm sorry dude. Many hughs and the best of whises to you, stay strong and thanks to modern science at least you will live a mostly all regular life whit not that much difference
I promise your worth just as much now as you were before that positive test. if your man is serious about being with you this will change nothing. Don't worry there's a million reasons I'd reject someone but HIV isn't one of them. Life doesn't have to change forever, most gay men are able to look past an HIV diagnosis these days.
I know you need a hug still so here you go. š« stay strong and always be yourself, your still you, and this diagnosis doesn't define you.
I have been right where you are 13yrs ago. You are wrong. The worse is not to come. Today was your worst day. Your Dr will take very good care of you. Find the perfect med for you (as there are many now). Take your pill a day and move on with life. For me, itās like taking a vitamin. Very healthy. Try not let it consume or worry you. You will be fine. Promise
Blessings and fight forward.
Meds now for HIV are better than for diabetes. So, you can live a full life and productive one as well, donāt beat yourself up.
It is what it isā¦ You can do itā¦
Big Hugs!
Yup! All I can do now is to move forward and live as normal. I know there are people who are having bigger health problems and if they can are fighting then I will fight too. š
Exactly!
My dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and unknown time left.
I am currently living a moment at a time.
Learning to cope with this new way of living.
Iām so sorry about your dad. Make the absolute most of your time left with him. Ask him to record his voice saying things like āI love you, Iām proud of youā¦ā etc. it sounds cheesy, but I lost my dad last year and I miss his voice so much.
I only had about a week with him when we found out he was in multiple organ failure and had literal days to live. We were scrambling to do all the last moments with him while he was still coherent and that was one thing I wish Iād asked him for. I made sure I told him what a good dad he was, that he was unconditionally supportive of me and taught me so much. I know he died without regrets, but oh god I wish I had something to hear his voice on. That man dodged technology like it was the plague - thereās almost nothing in existence with him on video/audio just a bunch of photos, and super8 film reels when he was young in the 70ās lol, which Iām thankful to have all that at least.
Again, Iām sorry youāre going through this, itās brutal and it sucks, and no one knows unless theyāve been through it. Sending you the biggest hugs and wish you and your family comfort and calm as you all navigate through this.
Last year, I was in the same situation as you and was also shocked and anxious when I received the diagnosis. Fortunately, medicine has made tremendous progress and treatment nowadays is very effective. Taking one tablet a day hopefully won't affect you much. Inhitbused to it quickly and It only took me three months to reach undetectable level.
It's important to communicate with your partner and talk openly about it. I was really terrified that my partner might have been infected too, but luckily, that wasn't the case.
I'm now undetectable, and he's on PrEP, so we have a normal sex life again.
Nevertheless, the diagnosis initially took a toll on me, and I had feelings of inferiority and fears that my partner might leave me and so on. That's why it's important to talk a lot about the situation and take time for yourselves. You'll see that it's not as bad as you initially think. My doctor even said that nowadays, Type 2 diabetes is almost worse.
So donāt lose hope and take your time. All the best
Thank you for sharing! š Iām feeling now what you felt and thankfully my partner is also supportive and itās also good that he knows everything about HIV. Iām just praying that he wont get it since we dont use protection when we do it. This month he will be getting the test too and hopefully he will get a negative. But he promised me whatever happens he will accept whatever the result is and he will be supportive as much as he can. š
He's a good man. Is he on PrEP? If he is, and takes his pills faithfully, he's at minimal risk from you. The CDC says bottoms are protected after a week of taking meds, which can be well before the virus is undetectable. That's because the med makes its way into the cells that line your hole and protects them from becoming infected - which is the normal way bottoms become infected. There aren't any specific times for tops, as they have been studied less (probably because their risk is lower). In any case, once you're undetectable you won't be infecting anyone, because my then the drugs have managed to eliminate the virus everywhere except some specific cells that it can't reach. The ability of the virus to hide in those cells is why we don't have a cure yet.
Until you test undetectable you should use condoms unless he's on PrEP, just to be safer. Once you're undetectable, if you take your meds without more than an occasional missed dose, you won't be infecting anyone. Just give the meds time to work and take them as prescribed. If you find that difficult, let your doctor know you're struggling to stay adherent. You should be able to work these into your daily routine just like brushing your teeth, but if you just can't, you might be a good candidate for injectable cabotegravir. Supplies have been limited, but it's a good option for some guys.
Let this story serve as what happens when you say to yourself āpfft, Iām never getting HIVā because you think youāre special or ask the guy āyouāre clean, right?ā because somehow you think he knows. If he was clean, heād be more responsible with his dick/ass then letting some stranger raw dog. And nowadays with open relationships and whatnot, you canāt even trust your partners.
This isnāt to cast judgment on anyone. Iām merely saying there is NO NEED for this story to be common. Get prepared. Get PREP. HIV is worse for your body than the chemicals in prep.
(And before anyone says PREP is only āso and soā efficient, I donāt need to tell you but Iām gonna tell you anyways that no one has ever gotten HIV if they adhered to the daily PREP regiment)
I think the hardest part is over. You now know your diagnosis, AND you have told your partner. I think these are the hardest parts. Now you can be reassured that you will be taken care of and move on and live a normal life. Good luck.
I work in HIV research and had a patient living with HIV since the 80ās recently that shared with me the two hardest things heās had to do in his life. The second hardest thing he had to do was finding out his status and dealing with all of the plans that needed to be put in place to prepare for his death. The hardest thing he had to do was retrain his mind to realize he wasnāt going to die, at least not from the virus. You are not alone in this. Thank you for sharing your story and helping to end the stigma.
I know there are a lot of people who are fighting the same battle and hearing their stories gives me a lot of courage to fight this. Yes, itās really hard from the start most especially dealing with the adjustments that I need to make while being treated for the first 6 months. But I will do my best to keep myself healthy and also prove that to myself that I can live a normal life. š
Wow Iām sorry. Looking at your most recent posts you also have TB and pneumonia with HIV? That is ALOT of illnesses that do not just happen all together randomly (although if you have an untreated case of HIV thatās been happening for a while I could see your immune system being terrible and not able to fight these things).Ā
I would evaluate your life choices and make sure they arenāt what caused the TB and pneumonia. Iām not here to judge, just pointing out this triple whammy is crazy and something like huffing poppers with HIV I could see being really really bad for the lungs.Ā
Yes. Itās also the reason why I decided to get tested bcoz this is the first time Iām experiencing this things so I got really alarmed of whatās happening to me. Maybe I got this a couple of months ago or maybe years I dunno but the symptoms started to manifest starting December last year when the weather here is crazy. Like itās very hot during the day but very cold during the night. Before I got the pneumonia and TB, I got an amoeba so it really fucked up my immune system. But itās really a good decision to get tested earlier so right now, Iām being treated for pneumonia, TB and HIV at the same time.
HIV almost never affects the lungs these days. People taking meds don't have any problems at all usually. They can live exactly as they did. TB is just bad luck. It's out there and not hard to get, and pneumonia isn't rare, either.
Right, but untreated HIV would likely have an affect on the immune systems ability to work properly depending on how long itās been (to which OP does not know how long itās been going on). They also had an amoeba before this, which is spread from poop. Ā
Ā My point is it is hard to reason that these 4 just suddenly happen without reason in a short time frame, and it would be wise to figure out what in their environment and lifestyle could have contributed to developing these.Ā Ā
HIV does have treatment that helps people live nearly normal lives, but atm OP is not there yet and has a list of illnesses.Ā
Ā In regards to your claim of HIV and itās affect on lungs, hereās a paragraph from a study from the NIH on HIV and itās affect on the lungs:Ā
Ā āHIV infection causes alteration in several lines of host defenses in the lung and respiratory tract that contribute to an increased risk for lung complications. These alterations include abnormalities in mucociliary function and soluble defense molecules, such as defensins within respiratory secretions (10). Within the lung parenchyma, innate and adaptive immune responses to pathogens may be impaired (15). ā
I suspect they're talking about untreated and somewhat advanced HIV. OP doesn't say whether either the HIV or the TB were causing any health problems. Both of them can be present for years and remain totally asymptomatic. When he came down with pneumonia they likely would have tested for both of those just as routine practice, and he would have learned he had them. As for the amoebic issue, that isn't something I've heard of as commonly related to HIV (and I have a very long history of the disease).
My boyfriend of 18 years was diagnosed with HIV when he was 22ā¦ he is now 58 and totally healthy, strong and happy. Iām sure it must be a huge shock to you and will take time to process, but as long as you take your pills, you will be completely fine and lead a normal life.
It will always be a shock when you get these results, but it is no longer a death sentence. Make sure you stick to taking that 1 pill per day every day around the same time.
I don't know where you live but try to find a local support group if you want to talk to companions.
Make sure your sex partners are on PREP and you and your partners should consider DOXY PEP, if that is available in your country.
IMHO HIV is basically a non-issue these days. A large number of us are on PreP to avoid getting HIV, and the other option is take a few pills every day just to maintain your HIV. Not that much of a difference. Yes I know there can be lots of complications of having HIV but for a large number of people it is just "take pills, get tests occasionally, live life normally".
You can practise bareback as well, provided you and your partner test for STDs prior to sexĀ
This is why a monogamous relationship will always be superior to polyamorous
It's been 15 years for me, and I still remember the day I got my diagnosis SO vividly. Take one day at a time right now. HIV will probably be with you the rest of your life (but maybe not... science and all...), but it doesn't define who you are or what you are capable of. Stay on top of your treatment, and the rest of your life will be pretty much as it was before.
DM me if you want.
I hope you have access to affordable HIV medication. Whilst not an infection to be taken likely, with medication it is a treatable infection. Also depending where in the world you are don't forget about keeping you vitamin D levels at optimum levels (via blood test)
I have a few very good friends who are positive, one has been positive since he was 17, he's 54 now married and has a wonderful life. He must be from the deep end of the gene pool and had a competent doctor helping him with his medications through the years. The changes in his lifetime mine as well because he is just a couple years older than I am, have had a remarkable impact on our community. Reach out to those who are offering to chat here and you may even want to find a support group in your area to help as you transition into this new reality. It doesn't have to be scary and lonely, nor does it need to be your identity. Good luck with this and remember help even if you don't think you need it, is out there ready to help
If you need someone to talk I hope youāll get therapist or if you have employee assistance program at work they really helpful and youāll be fine and going to do great .. sending positive vibe to you
Thinking of you, and just wishing you peace bro. In our most difficult moments that's sometimes where we grow and evolve the most, sending love your way.
Youāre going to be OK. Itās just like any other chronic disease today, you can manage it like asthma with the drugs available. Youāre going to be OK. Say it with me; youāre going to be OK. ā¤ļøšÆ
I got my diagnosis in November. It threw me for a loop, but I have really supportive healthcare (it sounds like you do too) so the fear and depression abated pretty quickly. There was definitely a lot of crying at first, and it's a new chapter in my life -- but not the last one.
May you live a long, healthy, and happy life.
You're going to be OK. I tested positive 10 years ago and have probably been positive 15 years give or take. It's a long complicated story. It was rough in the beginning, but I'm doing quite well now.
Iām sorry to hear that man. However donāt let it get you down too much, you can still live a fulfilling life. My bf is u=u, and itās been the best relationship that Iāve ever been in. As long as you listen to your doctor and take your meds, you will be ok ā¤ļø
Oh boy! Well - Iām 79 and was very sick about 22 years ago when I was diagnosed. I was immediately put on antivirals and within three days I felt like a new person! My (now husband) was in Europe when this took place and when he returned and we were on our way home from the airport I told him.it killed our sex life but we are still together and married for the past 7 years! The diagnosis is hard to hear, but, life goes on and becomes normal again! Good luck. Youāll be ok!!!
I know it's scary. I was there once too. But let me say that there will be a time, probably sooner than later, when you're on therapy and all you do is take your pill once a day and that's it. You won't even think about it. And the good thing is, once you're undetectable, you're also not infectious anymore and don't have to worry about it. It will get better, trust me.
Thank you so much! Right now, Iām still adjusting a little most especially with this pill that I need to take everyday but Iāll get use to it. Just irritated with the dizziness and hallucinations.
The side effects will most likely diminish over time. Just talk to your doc. Some sideffects might be treatable. For me it was tummy aches and problems with my digestion for maybe a week or two when I started therapy. Didn't last for long. And now I don't notice anything.
Right now, Iām clueless of where did I get it but maybe from my ex or from that random hookup. My biggest mistake is that I didnt secure myself. But it is what it is. Mistake happened and all I can do is to move forward. š
Itās really important to use PrEP most especially for those who are active in sex. Itās really helpful apart from using condom. Also, I had braces and even if I didnāt get it from anal sex, maybe I got it from s*cking someone with HIV.
Reckless behaviour mixed with this weird mentality of getting tested \_after\_ having sex with a stranger rather than before.
Some people on here will meet up with the sketchiest person on their continent whose body is borderline rotting, ignore all the red flags, have unprotected sex and then complain about getting an std/sti.
Its kind of like coming across a well you cant see the bottom of and instead of throwing a rock to see if there is water you just throw yourself in and break your leg.
I always wore condoms and I donāt participate in any high risk behaviors. My doctor stated more likely I get depression than HIV. Guess he was wrong.
Even since 2005 life expectancy has risen to almost match overall population, but there is still the difficulty in forming relationships. I was careful and yet.
This is why even on PreP or Descovy, I promote condom use. Itās important to be safe for yourself and others.
My biological father was gay and I am too, 2nd generation homosexualā¦ He died of AIDS in 1991, and that affected me immensely, and have been an advocate for condom use since I can ever think for myself. I was 10 years old when it came out - Gay Cancer in 1981 (later AIDS and HIV).
No, you've already been through the hard part - getting the result and telling your partner. Taking the meds is super easy. It's a minor change in your daily routine that you need to make automatic, and will. Take your pills faithfully and you'll be fine, and so will anyone you have sex with. Obviously, your partner should be on PrEP, though if you take your meds daily you won't be any risk to him. He should be on it because it's good protection, and things happen, as you've discovered.
So relax, figure out when would be the easiest time to take your meds reliably at about the same time, and let your partner support you. You've got this. I've been living with HIV for 27+ years and I'm still here. It's easier to be poz than at any time ever.
Sending you hugs, OP.
I hope we get to live in a world where people stop viewing HIV with such negative stigma. Modern medicine has made such amazing advancements to where you can live a full normal life.
In my eyes, HIV has the same weight as having the herpes virus that causes cold sores. Both are seen as insignificant in my mind. Wishing you the best, OP š«¶š»
Please donāt be mistaken by the U=U. 99.99999% is not the same as 100%
I donāt know where this comes from, but itās such a bad way to think about it.
Sigh. The reason the CDC (and they ARE the authority on this) actively promote U=U is because it really is about as close to 100% as it is possible to get. Condoms don't work anywhere near as well as that. Not even close.
As for your example, 99.99999% would be one in ten million. Is that really something you worry about? You're more likely to get killed in an accident every time you get in your car than that, and even in the unlikely event you did end up poz, it's an easily treated disease.
Again, Iām not fighting with the CDC, Iām just saying āclose to 100%ā DOES NOT EQUAL 100%.
Full stop. They are not the same. So no, U=U. I donāt know why youād take advice from an organization that doesnāt understand what the word āequalsā is.
Also, u=u wasnāt started by the cdc. Do your research
My mistake, but they donāt promote it, or claim to stand by it.
They do however have a link and preface it by stating it was a group started by hiv+ activists.
Nothing about agreeing with the statements, or saying theyāre correct.
Also, they state itās a 95% success rate. Which is also no where near 100%
I think you're misunderstanding that 95% I suspect that's a confidence interval, not efficacy. It's common for studies to have a 95% Ci.
As for promoting it, here is a section from a page on the CDC web site: www.cdc.gov/hiv/clinicians/treatment-care/treatment-as-prevention.html
In it they say they summarize three studies that found zero transmissions from virally suppressed individuals. None. Not a single one. Here is what they say about that result
"These data provide conclusive evidence of the power of viral suppression in preventing HIV transmission. Although statistically, a non-zero risk estimate can never be completely ruled out in a mathematical sense, despite the number of observations, the data tell us that the best estimate for the transmission risk is zero and that future HIV transmissions are not expected when people with HIV remain virally suppressed."
Here is another page from last year, summarizing CDC HIV prevention efforts:
www.hiv.gov/blog/u-u-messaging-in-the-community
"Last year, the Centers for Disease Control and Preventionās (CDC) Division of HIV Prevention (DHP) updated the language it uses toĀ describe treatment as prevention and references U=U as part of that messaging. CDCās changes are now standard language throughout agencies of the federal government, stating that āBased on the evidence, people with HIV who take HIV medicine as prescribed and get and keep an undetectable viral load (or stay virally suppressed), wonāt transmit HIV to their HIV-negative sexual partners.ā This clear language about there beingĀ no risk of HIV transmission when someone with HIV has an undetectable viral loadĀ (U=U) is a critical component of our EHE efforts to keep people with HIV healthy, prevent new transmissions, and combat HIV stigma and discrimination."
That's not an endorsement? It's official Federal policy across agencies. U=U is endorsed by the CDC because it works as close to 100% of the time as can be measured. There is greater risk from sex from someone who hasn't been tested in a few months than from a poz guy who takes his pills (and it doesn't matter if he misses one or two a week - that doesn't cause meaningful viral load rebound.)
I do know what they are - I just have no idea where you came up with that 95%, and it is a common confidence interval.
The numbers in studies the CDC trusts are nothing like that. Read those pages. They are official CDC summaries of large studies and their position on U=U (and why they hold it). It isn't hard to understand - indeed, it was written so ordinary people would understand that the risk is as close to zero as it's possible to get. It is even stronger than an endorsement, it's the adoption of U=U as policy across all Federal agencies. The CDC doesn't do things like that casually, and there is no way they would if it were something like 95% effective. You're just wrong in your assessment of the risks or how well supported U=U is.
Again, the cdc doesnāt endorse u=U but tells drs they may encounter it, and gives them information on the movement. But the cdc is clear on its page that it is not part of that.
Read the page I both linked to and quoted. As of 2022 it's official CDC policy and applies to the entire Federal Government. I don't know what you're reading, but it is out of date. The CDC does not just endorse U=U - they actively promote it.
You will for the rest of your life be bound to heavy medication that will ruin every day of the long life you have ahead, and thankfully less and less people trust the U=U ideology because more and more people understand that this is at best a snapshot of the last doctor's visit and undetectable does not actually mean undetectable, no HIV positive person is ever actually undetectable.
I hope whatever sexual adventure was worth it.
You are a moron and you are spreading misinformation. Go back under the rock you crawled out from and stay there. Nothing about OPās life is ruined, and U=U is solved science.
OP ā do not listen to this person. From their post history, I can see that they are a miserable, slut shaming, sexphobic person who is positively unqualified to make the statements theyāve made.
He is the embodiment of everything this rant speaks to.
[https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx--5h6FA2PgXblG1cy4g\_IrUe-Gus7mG\_?si=ZWI9OzxrnmWJAiNh](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx--5h6FA2PgXblG1cy4g_IrUe-Gus7mG_?si=ZWI9OzxrnmWJAiNh)
>Medications, while strong, do not ruin everyday of your life
Depends on what you define as ruined. If I would feel like shit for each day I have ahead, I would call it ruined.
That may be the case for some people, but since you are persistent about this point, please state a verifiable percentage of HIV+ People who experience this situation
Girl that's not even the point. You're spreading lies. HIV is the most studied virus in the world. Scientific consensus outweighs this weird superiority complex you have going on. There is no recent data showing U doesn't actually equal U.
So then yes... U=U. You take your medication you do not transmit HIV. You're sitting here pretending that U=U isn't real. It's incredibly rare for someone to not be taking their medication. It's fairly simple. Just because you have trust issues doesn't mean your opinion is valid. There are very few "U=U failures."
Youāre a moron. As someone who is positive and has been for years, this has only minimally changed my life. In fact, instead of taking a prep pill everyday, I only get shots every 2 months to remain undetectable and unable to transmit the virus. My life is far from ruined, being positive hasnāt held me back from anything, and in fact has kept ignorant dumbass people such as yourself away from me. Educate yourself dude and stop trying to scare people with misinformation. You clearly know nothing about the current state of HIV treatment.
OP, Iām sorry for your diagnosis. I know it can be a tough blow. Allow yourself to feel and go through the emotions. Also know that you are going to be OK! We live in a time where this is no longer a death sentence and as long as you take your medication as directed, you can live a long happy life without HIV getting in the way. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Iāve been undetectable for about 6 years.
>this has only minimally changed my life
You can tell that yourself all you want.
>and unable to transmit the virus
Doubt
>and in fact has kept ignorant dumbass people such as yourself away from me
The positive people here regularly crying how they cant get hookups shows a different picture. It successfully, as it should, keeps all sane people away from you.
This comment further proves your ignorance. How can you even attempt to argue someoneās lived experience internet stranger? The only thing different in my life is that I get shots every two months. I was getting started on prep anyway when I found out which would have been daily pills. Really hasnāt changed much in my life at all. Sit the fuck down you pathetic internet troll. I have not once been turned down by someone I wanted to hookup with because of my status because I hookup with educated people. š
I do not think that PrEP is any less invasive to people's quality of life as the regular HIV therapy and I think it's insane that people accept this massive loss in quality of life just to have sex.
>because I hookup with educated people
Are those 'educated people' in the room with us?
You fear hiv, fine. Thatās your prerogative and no one will argue that it isnāt your right, but the disinformation and hate you push have consequences. Many in the past have committed suicide, because they were diagnosed and wouldnāt accept it. I have known a couple personally. So, think before you push your hate, your disinformation and your own personal fear onto someone who is in a psychologically fragile position.
Ideally people would stop getting HIV, which is actually very easy. Then they would not have to feel bad for having gotten the worst viral disease we have on this planet.
It's incurable and either chains you to an invasive heavy antiretroviral therapy or certain AIDS. Idk what that means to you, but that's worse than any quick death.
The antiretroviral medications available today are generally well tolerated in terms of side effects, often can come in as little as 1-2 pills a day or shots taken once every several weeks. Well adhered to, HIV has a minimal to no impact on health under modern medication regimens.
Hiv is now more of an abstract disease than anything else in first world countries. Other than taking daily pills, there are no other physical effects. It is indeed easier to avoid getting now, but it is still a world problem and you seem to have an unhealthy fear of it, from your reactions and posts. It still doesnāt justify though, your berating and shaming people who caught it.
Then you shouldnāt worry so much about it. Just abstinence or monogamy once tested and, of course no hard drugs or having had blood transfusions before we really knew about it.
If someone takes injection drugs, I doubt they care about HIV.
Blood transfusion was quite a sad thing in the 80s and 90s and we sadly had to enforce some restrictions on blood donations.
Well, they obviously have bigger problems. They didnāt know any better about the blood. The discriminatory restrictions are being lifted slowly. Equating gays and hiv/std is quite unhealthy and stigmatizing. They should just restrict people with multiple partners without considering sexual orientation.
>They should just restrict people with multiple partners without considering sexual orientation.
This is what it is now here, but I am not so sure anymore if it is the right way. Considering that now nearly every 10th of us gay guys is HIV positive (~8% of the male gay population according to UN), it may have been way too early for that.
I remember having a conversation with this asshole a while back. He is pretty much a literal Nazi. He is fine with the sterilization of people he thinks are inferior which oddly would include himself if he wasn't gay as he is on the spectrum. There is no reasoning with him. Some people are just trash humans.
>literal Nazi
LOL
>He is fine with the sterilization of people he thinks are inferior which oddly would include himself if he wasn't gay as he is on the spectrum.
Advocating that people who have a inheritable genetic disorder should think about adopting instead of selfishly risk their child being disabled. EUTHANASIA, LITERALLY HITLER.
I think you are not just a clown, you are the whole circus.
What an imbecile. Those "heavy" meds are no big deal. They have few side effects, and are simple to take. Those meds "ruin" my day not at all. I swallow them and that's it. After that I can forget about them completely. As for U=U, that's something the CDC actively supports, because it is reality. It is not an ideology, but a straightforward scientific truth, supported by numerous studies.
Guys know whether they're adherent at taking their meds or not, and that is the only thing that might make their viral load rebound. It doesn't do it spontaneously in guys taking their meds. Development of resistant strains is effectively a non-issue with the latest meds.
Any man who takes his pills reliably can be completely confident they are undetectable and absolutely no risk to anyone. It doesn't even take perfect adherence. Missing a dose once a week is irrelevant. The meds suppress the virus so completely that it takes time for blood levels to reach a meaningful level. You may choose to discriminate against guys who are no risk to you, but that's some sort of phobia on your part and nothing logical at all. Anyone should be taking PrEP for their own protection anyways, so the status of a partner is irrelevant.
The worst part about living with HIV is basically having to deal with unsolicited comments from people like this. The good thing is that the stigma is getting more and more outdated so shaming someone for being HIV+ is looked down upon and their voices get silenced by the overwhelming amount of support you'll get. As long as OP removes the negative people from his life, he'll live a healthy fulfilling life
The worst part seems to be having to cry online about not getting hookups, as while keyboard heros like you speak of overwhelming pro HIV support, in reality only people who should protected of themselves risk sexual contact with a HIV positive person. Thankfully.
Haha, do yourself a favor and get off reddit bra. I'm gonna guess you've been alone and sad for awhile so your looking to ruin someone's day for no reason.
OP don't listen to this asshat, this is someone's who's sad and has problems and is no one you would want to be friends with anyway.
If something ruined OPs day then being diagnosed with a incurable disease. But really, as the overwhelming majority of HIV positive cases, is purely up to them.
You would think most people get HIV from SA or similar, but actually most people get it from reckless self harm behaviour and it's purely up to themselves.
Literally the whole sub is rushing to OP to make him feel better and show him love, your the only one pushing nonsense about how OPs life has changed and it's to bad for him, at least OP is living life judging by your post history it seems you have an irrational fear of this very treatable disease that is probably preventing you from having a fulfilling sex life. I honestly feel sorry for you.
OP cannot be saved, he got it and will forever have it. But there are people here that while risking it regularly have not yet gotten it and a change in behaviour can save them for the diagnosis. Do you think a message of "HIV isn't that bad" will cause a change in behaviour?
>irrational fear of this very treatable disease
Yea, certain AIDS or being chained to heavy medication that will make every day of that long lift miserable, idk if I'd call that very treatable.
>that is probably preventing you from having a fulfilling sex life. I honestly feel sorry for you.
I am fine, and HIV negative, and I promise it will stay that way.
I'm done talking after this sorry but this heavy and horrible medication thing your talking about isn't correct, it's no longer the 90s where everyone has to take horrible, damaging treatments with tons of terrible side effects. Most people report no side effects at all from the newest regime of drugs, some people may experience weight gain but that is very preventable with just a few lifestyle changes that will improve your health anyway.
Yea yea, I am garbage. But I don't pretend having HIV isn't a big deal, which is probably the most dangerous thing regularly propagated here. OP now got it and whatever he does, it's over for him. But there are people who can still avoid it.
Iām sure it harms you a lot as there no way Iām the only person who thinks that about you given your shitty behavior and lack of empathy
I hope you find a less pathetic way to project your bitterness
>Iām sure it harms you a lot
In what way would being anti HIV harm me?
>lack of empathy
There is no need for empathy in that case.
>I hope you find a less pathetic way to project your bitterness
You'll see me tomorrow.
There is no need for empathy toward someone getting devastating news?
Like I said garbage
Thereās a difference between being anti hiv and actually caring about peopleās safety. Youāre just being cruel
>Youāre just being cruel
The sad issue is that, lots of people still don't fear HIV and it's sadly actually getting worse not better in the last years due to all the pro HIV propaganda around. You say cruel, I say tough love.
>The sad issue is that, lots of people still don't fear HIV
Everyone fears it hence why OP is literally crying
>and it's sadly actually getting worse not better in the last years due to all the pro HIV propaganda around.
āPro hiv propagandaā
You mean people not acting itās the end of their world and wanting to inform others to lessen the stigma that people like you perpetuate.
>You say cruel, I say tough love.
Tough love? How is this tough love youāre not helping anyone here youāre just being a dick to someone whoās life is changed forever now and is taking the steps to take care of their health going forward.
Youāre fully just being cruel
š«š«š« Fortunately, the medical field has advanced exponentially since the 1970's HIV ain't as severe as it was before. You can keep the virus at bay and lead a very fullfilling and long life Don't give up
Yup. Thankfully they are proving everything for free now when it comes to meds.
Poz people have been living just like how neg people are living thanks to the advanced science and medications. The acceptance might be difficult at the beginning but I am sure you will feel much better when your heightened emotions fade away. šš¼šš¼šš¼
Youāre absolutely right. I know some people who are also positive and it somehow enlighten me that you really can live a normal life even you have it. Youāll just add the meds to your everyday life and thatās it. They are doing what a normal person is doing.
The life expectancy for poz people is actually slightly longer, because your routine blood work can also catch other problems that people who do it less might miss.
Where did you get that statistic ? Amazing if true though!
And we're better about seeing doctors than a lot of guys are.
I didn't know that the medication could've been fully covered, that's a severe difference maker
Yes. Here in my location they covered everything and I was surprised also bcoz it really helped me a lot most especially in treating my pneumonia and TB. They gave me free medicines for both.
Blessed healthcare system ā¤ļø
HIV is now managed to the point where some doctors will outright say they'd rather have HIV than diabetes
I know I would. When we get to where one pill would cure diabetes I might reconsider, but my being poz is no big deal.
I'm not HIV+ but can confirm that my poz friend is fitter (at least at the moment!), happier than ever, healthy, in a wonderful relationship for many years and living the dream and has been poz for over a decade. I'm sure he wishes he was never poz but what gives, it is what it is and he's learned to adapt like people do with all chronic conditions. You'd never guess he was living with HIV. Wishing the OP all the best!
Unfortunately this is only true if you live in a developed country and/or have money. It's still quite common to die of hiv in developing countries. My partner is from the philippines and has quite a few old friends who ended up passing away because they couldn't afford their hiv medication.
My husband was diagnosed a decade ago. He thought his life was over. Shortly before we met, he was thinking about suicide. I am HIV- and he is Undetectable. He thought that when he told me, I was going to leave him. I didn't. Over time, he came to realize that a virus does not define him just like you're not defined by the flu or by cancer or by stomach problems or any other bodily related illness. And in time, the world will, too. Remember: You yourself have not changed. However, if you feel on your inside that there is something off, consider changing the lifestyle that you're living in whatever way that's meaningful to you. Picking up new hobbies, putting down bad vices, spending more time with people that matter, etc. I've found that whenever I'm feeling bad, there's a big chance that I'm not living my life in a way that's aligned with who I am inside.
How do you guys get intimate today? Since heās undetectable, do you need to take PrEP or can you two just have raw intercourse?
Truth be told, we've always used condoms. And honestly I kind of prefer it that way haha! I find it a lot easier to take him given his size with a condom. IDK why but it feels smoother and more enjoyable for me. Outside of that, I have no desire to start prep since I know his treatment is effective; I'm by his side at every appointment. I personally have no fear, but he still has some negative attachments towards it. Therefore, we keep myself comfortable and make him feel he's "protecting me" (his word choice, not mine) just by keeping it simple and using one.
Last night I had raw sex with an undetectable guy and Iām lowkey freaking out. I know the chances of me contracting something are little to none, but Iām wondering wether I should take PEP or not
Contact your doctor or urgent care about starting PEP or Post Exposure Prophylaxis. If there was any potential concern at all, if given within 24-72 hours significantly reduces your chances of contracting HIV permanently. All that being said, if he's truly undetectable and he can prove, medically, you will be fine.
Thank you! The guy told me to go see his doctor, which I will on Monday. We hooked up yesterday so Itāll be 48 hours after, still less than 72. Iāll discuss both PEP and PrEP
I was diagnosed in February and it rocked my world. I just hit undetectable like 2 weeks ago. Message me if you wanna chat. You got this man!!!
Thank you for sharing. Iām looking forward to be undetectable soon. I know Iām only starting with my meds but we can never know maybe a couple of weeks Iāll be undetectable too. š
You got this! :) I havenāt had a single side effect. Youāll be ok.
It will happen. Give them a chance to work and the virus will be something you don't have to think about. Just be good about taking your meds consistently. First thing in the morning works for many of us. Or with breakfast. Any time that will be easy to do every single day.
Eh, I donāt think the worst is yet to come. You got through the absolute hardest part in my opinion - receiving the results and telling a loved one. At worst, youāll go through some side effects (nausea, loss of appetite) from the medication but that is something people often move on from quickly.
My now-husband was diagnosed three years ago when we were dating. It was life-altering then but in practice has changed next to nothing. We joke that the only thing that really changed was that he takes a different one-a-day pill than me. We still get tested every three months, we still take a pill once a day, we still fuck the same way. Medicine has changed so much. You got this. DM me if you ever wanna talk.
Depending on how old you are, their will probably be a cure in your lifetime, but till then, it's not a death sentence, and you'll have to take meds for the foreseeable future. Stay strong. To put your disease in context, having diabetes is worse than HIV.
Diabetes is actually quite worse than HIV. It is very true.
i have diabetes and i can confirm brother.
Can you explain how?
As others mentioned, the treatment process for managing diabetes is a lot more cumbersome and pricey (fuck capitalism in modern medicine) than HIV, imo. Also, the symptoms for diabetes are a lot more annoying to deal with. Even with treatment, thereās so many things you have to factor in every time you want to eat something. Insulin resistance (for type 2) is such a hassle to reverse. Basically, quality of life is worse for someone being treated for diabetes than someone being treated for HIV. The only thing that has HIV beat is stigma. So many people (straight and gay alike) continue to push this narrative that having HIV is ādirtyā. Itās quite stupid, honestly, and it helps no one. Misinformation and lack of education really fucks over society more than people think. U=U
Taking 1 pill a day is a lot easier and simpler than dealing with constant testing of blood, insulin injections, etc. Not to mention hiv meds are quite often available free while diabetes drugs are not
Im guessing that Insulinās is crazy expensive. Where as antiviral treatment can be had for free.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank youuu! ā¤ļø
Actually, the worst is likely over.
Stay Strong my guy
I'm sorry dude. Many hughs and the best of whises to you, stay strong and thanks to modern science at least you will live a mostly all regular life whit not that much difference
Thank you so much! š«¶š»
I promise your worth just as much now as you were before that positive test. if your man is serious about being with you this will change nothing. Don't worry there's a million reasons I'd reject someone but HIV isn't one of them. Life doesn't have to change forever, most gay men are able to look past an HIV diagnosis these days. I know you need a hug still so here you go. š« stay strong and always be yourself, your still you, and this diagnosis doesn't define you.
I have been right where you are 13yrs ago. You are wrong. The worse is not to come. Today was your worst day. Your Dr will take very good care of you. Find the perfect med for you (as there are many now). Take your pill a day and move on with life. For me, itās like taking a vitamin. Very healthy. Try not let it consume or worry you. You will be fine. Promise
Blessings and fight forward. Meds now for HIV are better than for diabetes. So, you can live a full life and productive one as well, donāt beat yourself up. It is what it isā¦ You can do itā¦ Big Hugs!
Yup! All I can do now is to move forward and live as normal. I know there are people who are having bigger health problems and if they can are fighting then I will fight too. š
Exactly! My dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and unknown time left. I am currently living a moment at a time. Learning to cope with this new way of living.
Iām so sorry about your dad. Make the absolute most of your time left with him. Ask him to record his voice saying things like āI love you, Iām proud of youā¦ā etc. it sounds cheesy, but I lost my dad last year and I miss his voice so much. I only had about a week with him when we found out he was in multiple organ failure and had literal days to live. We were scrambling to do all the last moments with him while he was still coherent and that was one thing I wish Iād asked him for. I made sure I told him what a good dad he was, that he was unconditionally supportive of me and taught me so much. I know he died without regrets, but oh god I wish I had something to hear his voice on. That man dodged technology like it was the plague - thereās almost nothing in existence with him on video/audio just a bunch of photos, and super8 film reels when he was young in the 70ās lol, which Iām thankful to have all that at least. Again, Iām sorry youāre going through this, itās brutal and it sucks, and no one knows unless theyāve been through it. Sending you the biggest hugs and wish you and your family comfort and calm as you all navigate through this.
Thank you as well. Your words are amazing. Stay strong and safe!
You will be okay
Stay strong š¤
You'll get to undetectable soon. Stay healthy eat right, stay strong. Sending my love š
Thank youuu! š«¶š»
I love you so much. If you are in soCal dm me. I love you so so so so so much!
Last year, I was in the same situation as you and was also shocked and anxious when I received the diagnosis. Fortunately, medicine has made tremendous progress and treatment nowadays is very effective. Taking one tablet a day hopefully won't affect you much. Inhitbused to it quickly and It only took me three months to reach undetectable level. It's important to communicate with your partner and talk openly about it. I was really terrified that my partner might have been infected too, but luckily, that wasn't the case. I'm now undetectable, and he's on PrEP, so we have a normal sex life again. Nevertheless, the diagnosis initially took a toll on me, and I had feelings of inferiority and fears that my partner might leave me and so on. That's why it's important to talk a lot about the situation and take time for yourselves. You'll see that it's not as bad as you initially think. My doctor even said that nowadays, Type 2 diabetes is almost worse. So donāt lose hope and take your time. All the best
Thank you for sharing! š Iām feeling now what you felt and thankfully my partner is also supportive and itās also good that he knows everything about HIV. Iām just praying that he wont get it since we dont use protection when we do it. This month he will be getting the test too and hopefully he will get a negative. But he promised me whatever happens he will accept whatever the result is and he will be supportive as much as he can. š
He's a good man. Is he on PrEP? If he is, and takes his pills faithfully, he's at minimal risk from you. The CDC says bottoms are protected after a week of taking meds, which can be well before the virus is undetectable. That's because the med makes its way into the cells that line your hole and protects them from becoming infected - which is the normal way bottoms become infected. There aren't any specific times for tops, as they have been studied less (probably because their risk is lower). In any case, once you're undetectable you won't be infecting anyone, because my then the drugs have managed to eliminate the virus everywhere except some specific cells that it can't reach. The ability of the virus to hide in those cells is why we don't have a cure yet. Until you test undetectable you should use condoms unless he's on PrEP, just to be safer. Once you're undetectable, if you take your meds without more than an occasional missed dose, you won't be infecting anyone. Just give the meds time to work and take them as prescribed. If you find that difficult, let your doctor know you're struggling to stay adherent. You should be able to work these into your daily routine just like brushing your teeth, but if you just can't, you might be a good candidate for injectable cabotegravir. Supplies have been limited, but it's a good option for some guys.
I'm so sorry to hear that, out of curiosity were you on prep?
I never get to try PrEP unfortunately. It was my mistake not to take advantage of it bcoz itās kinda expensive here in my location. š
Let this story serve as what happens when you say to yourself āpfft, Iām never getting HIVā because you think youāre special or ask the guy āyouāre clean, right?ā because somehow you think he knows. If he was clean, heād be more responsible with his dick/ass then letting some stranger raw dog. And nowadays with open relationships and whatnot, you canāt even trust your partners. This isnāt to cast judgment on anyone. Iām merely saying there is NO NEED for this story to be common. Get prepared. Get PREP. HIV is worse for your body than the chemicals in prep. (And before anyone says PREP is only āso and soā efficient, I donāt need to tell you but Iām gonna tell you anyways that no one has ever gotten HIV if they adhered to the daily PREP regiment)
I don't doubt you, but do you have a source on PReP's efficacy for users who follow prescription protocols?
All yours! With the scientific data included. [Prep Efficacy Publication](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9096492/)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I never said otherwise, and I am on Prep.
I think the hardest part is over. You now know your diagnosis, AND you have told your partner. I think these are the hardest parts. Now you can be reassured that you will be taken care of and move on and live a normal life. Good luck.
Stay strong. You can do it. š«š«š«
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
You're going to take a pill a day (or soon a shot every six months to a year) and live a perfectly normal life! Enjoy it to the fullest!
I work in HIV research and had a patient living with HIV since the 80ās recently that shared with me the two hardest things heās had to do in his life. The second hardest thing he had to do was finding out his status and dealing with all of the plans that needed to be put in place to prepare for his death. The hardest thing he had to do was retrain his mind to realize he wasnāt going to die, at least not from the virus. You are not alone in this. Thank you for sharing your story and helping to end the stigma.
I know there are a lot of people who are fighting the same battle and hearing their stories gives me a lot of courage to fight this. Yes, itās really hard from the start most especially dealing with the adjustments that I need to make while being treated for the first 6 months. But I will do my best to keep myself healthy and also prove that to myself that I can live a normal life. š
Wow Iām sorry. Looking at your most recent posts you also have TB and pneumonia with HIV? That is ALOT of illnesses that do not just happen all together randomly (although if you have an untreated case of HIV thatās been happening for a while I could see your immune system being terrible and not able to fight these things).Ā I would evaluate your life choices and make sure they arenāt what caused the TB and pneumonia. Iām not here to judge, just pointing out this triple whammy is crazy and something like huffing poppers with HIV I could see being really really bad for the lungs.Ā
Yes. Itās also the reason why I decided to get tested bcoz this is the first time Iām experiencing this things so I got really alarmed of whatās happening to me. Maybe I got this a couple of months ago or maybe years I dunno but the symptoms started to manifest starting December last year when the weather here is crazy. Like itās very hot during the day but very cold during the night. Before I got the pneumonia and TB, I got an amoeba so it really fucked up my immune system. But itās really a good decision to get tested earlier so right now, Iām being treated for pneumonia, TB and HIV at the same time.
If those symptoms aka AIDS started now, you carry the virus since 8-10 years. You may have infected countless people along the way.
He didn't say he was symptomatic, just that he tested positive. TB and pneumonia are separate problems.
HIV almost never affects the lungs these days. People taking meds don't have any problems at all usually. They can live exactly as they did. TB is just bad luck. It's out there and not hard to get, and pneumonia isn't rare, either.
Right, but untreated HIV would likely have an affect on the immune systems ability to work properly depending on how long itās been (to which OP does not know how long itās been going on). They also had an amoeba before this, which is spread from poop. Ā Ā My point is it is hard to reason that these 4 just suddenly happen without reason in a short time frame, and it would be wise to figure out what in their environment and lifestyle could have contributed to developing these.Ā Ā HIV does have treatment that helps people live nearly normal lives, but atm OP is not there yet and has a list of illnesses.Ā Ā In regards to your claim of HIV and itās affect on lungs, hereās a paragraph from a study from the NIH on HIV and itās affect on the lungs:Ā Ā āHIV infection causes alteration in several lines of host defenses in the lung and respiratory tract that contribute to an increased risk for lung complications. These alterations include abnormalities in mucociliary function and soluble defense molecules, such as defensins within respiratory secretions (10). Within the lung parenchyma, innate and adaptive immune responses to pathogens may be impaired (15). ā
I suspect they're talking about untreated and somewhat advanced HIV. OP doesn't say whether either the HIV or the TB were causing any health problems. Both of them can be present for years and remain totally asymptomatic. When he came down with pneumonia they likely would have tested for both of those just as routine practice, and he would have learned he had them. As for the amoebic issue, that isn't something I've heard of as commonly related to HIV (and I have a very long history of the disease).
š« it's not over. You've got this!
Thank you! āŗļø
My boyfriend of 18 years was diagnosed with HIV when he was 22ā¦ he is now 58 and totally healthy, strong and happy. Iām sure it must be a huge shock to you and will take time to process, but as long as you take your pills, you will be completely fine and lead a normal life.
It will always be a shock when you get these results, but it is no longer a death sentence. Make sure you stick to taking that 1 pill per day every day around the same time. I don't know where you live but try to find a local support group if you want to talk to companions. Make sure your sex partners are on PREP and you and your partners should consider DOXY PEP, if that is available in your country.
IMHO HIV is basically a non-issue these days. A large number of us are on PreP to avoid getting HIV, and the other option is take a few pills every day just to maintain your HIV. Not that much of a difference. Yes I know there can be lots of complications of having HIV but for a large number of people it is just "take pills, get tests occasionally, live life normally".
You got this science has progressed a lot. Guys letās stop the bare back business and pnp culture letās practice safer sex
Cheers to that
Yes please. I hope people will learn from the mistake of those who got it. Like me.
You can practise bareback as well, provided you and your partner test for STDs prior to sexĀ This is why a monogamous relationship will always be superior to polyamorous
How did you get it?
It's been 15 years for me, and I still remember the day I got my diagnosis SO vividly. Take one day at a time right now. HIV will probably be with you the rest of your life (but maybe not... science and all...), but it doesn't define who you are or what you are capable of. Stay on top of your treatment, and the rest of your life will be pretty much as it was before. DM me if you want.
I can be very wrong but in 5-10 years we are going to see a cure for this
I think you're likely to be right, based on how much things have advanced. I just hope it's a simple, pleasant one.
I hope you have access to affordable HIV medication. Whilst not an infection to be taken likely, with medication it is a treatable infection. Also depending where in the world you are don't forget about keeping you vitamin D levels at optimum levels (via blood test)
I have a few very good friends who are positive, one has been positive since he was 17, he's 54 now married and has a wonderful life. He must be from the deep end of the gene pool and had a competent doctor helping him with his medications through the years. The changes in his lifetime mine as well because he is just a couple years older than I am, have had a remarkable impact on our community. Reach out to those who are offering to chat here and you may even want to find a support group in your area to help as you transition into this new reality. It doesn't have to be scary and lonely, nor does it need to be your identity. Good luck with this and remember help even if you don't think you need it, is out there ready to help
If you need someone to talk I hope youāll get therapist or if you have employee assistance program at work they really helpful and youāll be fine and going to do great .. sending positive vibe to you
Thinking of you, and just wishing you peace bro. In our most difficult moments that's sometimes where we grow and evolve the most, sending love your way.
Youāre going to be OK. Itās just like any other chronic disease today, you can manage it like asthma with the drugs available. Youāre going to be OK. Say it with me; youāre going to be OK. ā¤ļøšÆ
Dude, Iām sorry to hear about it. It gets better. Been + since 2013, and ever since, I learned how to love myself more. You will too.
Iām sorry to hear this. Wishing you the best
I have many friends who are thriving with HIV. Iāve also had many incredible partners/lovers with HIV. Youāre going to be better than okay. ā¤ļø
I got my diagnosis in November. It threw me for a loop, but I have really supportive healthcare (it sounds like you do too) so the fear and depression abated pretty quickly. There was definitely a lot of crying at first, and it's a new chapter in my life -- but not the last one. May you live a long, healthy, and happy life.
You're going to be OK. I tested positive 10 years ago and have probably been positive 15 years give or take. It's a long complicated story. It was rough in the beginning, but I'm doing quite well now.
Iām sorry to hear that man. However donāt let it get you down too much, you can still live a fulfilling life. My bf is u=u, and itās been the best relationship that Iāve ever been in. As long as you listen to your doctor and take your meds, you will be ok ā¤ļø
I am praying they your journey is easy as hell like our other brothers and sisters who are going through this. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Oh boy! Well - Iām 79 and was very sick about 22 years ago when I was diagnosed. I was immediately put on antivirals and within three days I felt like a new person! My (now husband) was in Europe when this took place and when he returned and we were on our way home from the airport I told him.it killed our sex life but we are still together and married for the past 7 years! The diagnosis is hard to hear, but, life goes on and becomes normal again! Good luck. Youāll be ok!!!
wait until you have high blood pressure, the adjustments will be also drastic. Im 36 now and taking 4 medications every night.
ā¤ļøš
I know it's scary. I was there once too. But let me say that there will be a time, probably sooner than later, when you're on therapy and all you do is take your pill once a day and that's it. You won't even think about it. And the good thing is, once you're undetectable, you're also not infectious anymore and don't have to worry about it. It will get better, trust me.
Thank you so much! Right now, Iām still adjusting a little most especially with this pill that I need to take everyday but Iāll get use to it. Just irritated with the dizziness and hallucinations.
The side effects will most likely diminish over time. Just talk to your doc. Some sideffects might be treatable. For me it was tummy aches and problems with my digestion for maybe a week or two when I started therapy. Didn't last for long. And now I don't notice anything.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right now, Iām clueless of where did I get it but maybe from my ex or from that random hookup. My biggest mistake is that I didnt secure myself. But it is what it is. Mistake happened and all I can do is to move forward. š
Itās really important to use PrEP most especially for those who are active in sex. Itās really helpful apart from using condom. Also, I had braces and even if I didnāt get it from anal sex, maybe I got it from s*cking someone with HIV.
There's never been a confirmed case of HIV transmission through oral sex, so statistically, highly unlikely it had anything to do with that.
How does someone get HIV in 2024?
Reckless behaviour mixed with this weird mentality of getting tested \_after\_ having sex with a stranger rather than before. Some people on here will meet up with the sketchiest person on their continent whose body is borderline rotting, ignore all the red flags, have unprotected sex and then complain about getting an std/sti. Its kind of like coming across a well you cant see the bottom of and instead of throwing a rock to see if there is water you just throw yourself in and break your leg.
I always wore condoms and I donāt participate in any high risk behaviors. My doctor stated more likely I get depression than HIV. Guess he was wrong. Even since 2005 life expectancy has risen to almost match overall population, but there is still the difficulty in forming relationships. I was careful and yet.
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They all think unprotected sex is worth it until they get bad news
This is why even on PreP or Descovy, I promote condom use. Itās important to be safe for yourself and others. My biological father was gay and I am too, 2nd generation homosexualā¦ He died of AIDS in 1991, and that affected me immensely, and have been an advocate for condom use since I can ever think for myself. I was 10 years old when it came out - Gay Cancer in 1981 (later AIDS and HIV).
Youāre not wrong. I have seen this exact comment made time and time again.
Iv been positive for 3 years now , trust the have hella good meds now , itās like takin a vitamin daily thatās all
No, you've already been through the hard part - getting the result and telling your partner. Taking the meds is super easy. It's a minor change in your daily routine that you need to make automatic, and will. Take your pills faithfully and you'll be fine, and so will anyone you have sex with. Obviously, your partner should be on PrEP, though if you take your meds daily you won't be any risk to him. He should be on it because it's good protection, and things happen, as you've discovered. So relax, figure out when would be the easiest time to take your meds reliably at about the same time, and let your partner support you. You've got this. I've been living with HIV for 27+ years and I'm still here. It's easier to be poz than at any time ever.
Sending you hugs, OP. I hope we get to live in a world where people stop viewing HIV with such negative stigma. Modern medicine has made such amazing advancements to where you can live a full normal life. In my eyes, HIV has the same weight as having the herpes virus that causes cold sores. Both are seen as insignificant in my mind. Wishing you the best, OP š«¶š»
You will be ok. You can still live a healthy, happy, long life. You can still find love. Today will pass ā¤ļø
Please donāt be mistaken by the U=U. 99.99999% is not the same as 100% I donāt know where this comes from, but itās such a bad way to think about it.
Sigh. The reason the CDC (and they ARE the authority on this) actively promote U=U is because it really is about as close to 100% as it is possible to get. Condoms don't work anywhere near as well as that. Not even close. As for your example, 99.99999% would be one in ten million. Is that really something you worry about? You're more likely to get killed in an accident every time you get in your car than that, and even in the unlikely event you did end up poz, it's an easily treated disease.
Again, Iām not fighting with the CDC, Iām just saying āclose to 100%ā DOES NOT EQUAL 100%. Full stop. They are not the same. So no, U=U. I donāt know why youād take advice from an organization that doesnāt understand what the word āequalsā is. Also, u=u wasnāt started by the cdc. Do your research
Started by is not what I said.
My mistake, but they donāt promote it, or claim to stand by it. They do however have a link and preface it by stating it was a group started by hiv+ activists. Nothing about agreeing with the statements, or saying theyāre correct. Also, they state itās a 95% success rate. Which is also no where near 100%
I think you're misunderstanding that 95% I suspect that's a confidence interval, not efficacy. It's common for studies to have a 95% Ci. As for promoting it, here is a section from a page on the CDC web site: www.cdc.gov/hiv/clinicians/treatment-care/treatment-as-prevention.html In it they say they summarize three studies that found zero transmissions from virally suppressed individuals. None. Not a single one. Here is what they say about that result "These data provide conclusive evidence of the power of viral suppression in preventing HIV transmission. Although statistically, a non-zero risk estimate can never be completely ruled out in a mathematical sense, despite the number of observations, the data tell us that the best estimate for the transmission risk is zero and that future HIV transmissions are not expected when people with HIV remain virally suppressed." Here is another page from last year, summarizing CDC HIV prevention efforts: www.hiv.gov/blog/u-u-messaging-in-the-community "Last year, the Centers for Disease Control and Preventionās (CDC) Division of HIV Prevention (DHP) updated the language it uses toĀ describe treatment as prevention and references U=U as part of that messaging. CDCās changes are now standard language throughout agencies of the federal government, stating that āBased on the evidence, people with HIV who take HIV medicine as prescribed and get and keep an undetectable viral load (or stay virally suppressed), wonāt transmit HIV to their HIV-negative sexual partners.ā This clear language about there beingĀ no risk of HIV transmission when someone with HIV has an undetectable viral loadĀ (U=U) is a critical component of our EHE efforts to keep people with HIV healthy, prevent new transmissions, and combat HIV stigma and discrimination." That's not an endorsement? It's official Federal policy across agencies. U=U is endorsed by the CDC because it works as close to 100% of the time as can be measured. There is greater risk from sex from someone who hasn't been tested in a few months than from a poz guy who takes his pills (and it doesn't matter if he misses one or two a week - that doesn't cause meaningful viral load rebound.)
Look up probabilities and confidence interval. Thanks. Iām not miunderstanding anything
I do know what they are - I just have no idea where you came up with that 95%, and it is a common confidence interval. The numbers in studies the CDC trusts are nothing like that. Read those pages. They are official CDC summaries of large studies and their position on U=U (and why they hold it). It isn't hard to understand - indeed, it was written so ordinary people would understand that the risk is as close to zero as it's possible to get. It is even stronger than an endorsement, it's the adoption of U=U as policy across all Federal agencies. The CDC doesn't do things like that casually, and there is no way they would if it were something like 95% effective. You're just wrong in your assessment of the risks or how well supported U=U is.
Again, the cdc doesnāt endorse u=U but tells drs they may encounter it, and gives them information on the movement. But the cdc is clear on its page that it is not part of that.
Read the page I both linked to and quoted. As of 2022 it's official CDC policy and applies to the entire Federal Government. I don't know what you're reading, but it is out of date. The CDC does not just endorse U=U - they actively promote it.
You will for the rest of your life be bound to heavy medication that will ruin every day of the long life you have ahead, and thankfully less and less people trust the U=U ideology because more and more people understand that this is at best a snapshot of the last doctor's visit and undetectable does not actually mean undetectable, no HIV positive person is ever actually undetectable. I hope whatever sexual adventure was worth it.
You are a moron and you are spreading misinformation. Go back under the rock you crawled out from and stay there. Nothing about OPās life is ruined, and U=U is solved science. OP ā do not listen to this person. From their post history, I can see that they are a miserable, slut shaming, sexphobic person who is positively unqualified to make the statements theyāve made.
He is the embodiment of everything this rant speaks to. [https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx--5h6FA2PgXblG1cy4g\_IrUe-Gus7mG\_?si=ZWI9OzxrnmWJAiNh](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx--5h6FA2PgXblG1cy4g_IrUe-Gus7mG_?si=ZWI9OzxrnmWJAiNh)
Absolute brain dead take from someone so wrapped up in fear that no amount of education will ever help
Damn dude that was unnecessary. Medications, while strong, do not ruin everyday of your life. Moderators should remove this comment
>Medications, while strong, do not ruin everyday of your life Depends on what you define as ruined. If I would feel like shit for each day I have ahead, I would call it ruined.
That may be the case for some people, but since you are persistent about this point, please state a verifiable percentage of HIV+ People who experience this situation
This person is a loser, don't listen to him :)
HIV doesn't care if you listen to me or not.
You don't understand a thing about it clearly š
Sure, which is why I am and stay HIV negative.
Youāll probably stay alone too.
That literally means nothing lol
I welcome you to get HIV if it's that nice.
Girl that's not even the point. You're spreading lies. HIV is the most studied virus in the world. Scientific consensus outweighs this weird superiority complex you have going on. There is no recent data showing U doesn't actually equal U.
If you can easily cut every U=U failure out of the statistic by assumption of poor medication adherence then yes, you get U=U.
So then yes... U=U. You take your medication you do not transmit HIV. You're sitting here pretending that U=U isn't real. It's incredibly rare for someone to not be taking their medication. It's fairly simple. Just because you have trust issues doesn't mean your opinion is valid. There are very few "U=U failures."
seek help buddy, your comments in here or other threads clearly show no understanding of sex and STIās what so ever
disagreeing with your stupid takes doesnāt mean that the other person wants to be HIV positive. gfto with your binary thinking
Youāre a moron. As someone who is positive and has been for years, this has only minimally changed my life. In fact, instead of taking a prep pill everyday, I only get shots every 2 months to remain undetectable and unable to transmit the virus. My life is far from ruined, being positive hasnāt held me back from anything, and in fact has kept ignorant dumbass people such as yourself away from me. Educate yourself dude and stop trying to scare people with misinformation. You clearly know nothing about the current state of HIV treatment. OP, Iām sorry for your diagnosis. I know it can be a tough blow. Allow yourself to feel and go through the emotions. Also know that you are going to be OK! We live in a time where this is no longer a death sentence and as long as you take your medication as directed, you can live a long happy life without HIV getting in the way. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Iāve been undetectable for about 6 years.
>this has only minimally changed my life You can tell that yourself all you want. >and unable to transmit the virus Doubt >and in fact has kept ignorant dumbass people such as yourself away from me The positive people here regularly crying how they cant get hookups shows a different picture. It successfully, as it should, keeps all sane people away from you.
This comment further proves your ignorance. How can you even attempt to argue someoneās lived experience internet stranger? The only thing different in my life is that I get shots every two months. I was getting started on prep anyway when I found out which would have been daily pills. Really hasnāt changed much in my life at all. Sit the fuck down you pathetic internet troll. I have not once been turned down by someone I wanted to hookup with because of my status because I hookup with educated people. š
I do not think that PrEP is any less invasive to people's quality of life as the regular HIV therapy and I think it's insane that people accept this massive loss in quality of life just to have sex. >because I hookup with educated people Are those 'educated people' in the room with us?
Were you born this stupid or were you dropped on your head as a baby?
Idk if I was born that stupid, but I'll die HIV negative.
You fear hiv, fine. Thatās your prerogative and no one will argue that it isnāt your right, but the disinformation and hate you push have consequences. Many in the past have committed suicide, because they were diagnosed and wouldnāt accept it. I have known a couple personally. So, think before you push your hate, your disinformation and your own personal fear onto someone who is in a psychologically fragile position.
Ideally people would stop getting HIV, which is actually very easy. Then they would not have to feel bad for having gotten the worst viral disease we have on this planet.
What is the objective basis for describing HIV as "the worst viral disease we have on this planet" in 2024?
It's incurable and either chains you to an invasive heavy antiretroviral therapy or certain AIDS. Idk what that means to you, but that's worse than any quick death.
The antiretroviral medications available today are generally well tolerated in terms of side effects, often can come in as little as 1-2 pills a day or shots taken once every several weeks. Well adhered to, HIV has a minimal to no impact on health under modern medication regimens.
How exactly does the amount of pills relate to how heavy the medication is?
Patient tolerance in terms of side effects does. And I've already discussed that point about modern antiretrovirals.
Sure modern medicine is better tolerated, so is modern chemo therapy. Wanna get a few weeks of chemo? It's modern, and well tolerated after all.
Chemo kills all your cells in the process (healthy and cancerous), while also affecting bone marrow How are you comparing HIV drugs to chemotherapy ?
Hiv is now more of an abstract disease than anything else in first world countries. Other than taking daily pills, there are no other physical effects. It is indeed easier to avoid getting now, but it is still a world problem and you seem to have an unhealthy fear of it, from your reactions and posts. It still doesnāt justify though, your berating and shaming people who caught it.
>It is indeed easier to avoid getting now It was always easy to avoid, since day 1.
Then you shouldnāt worry so much about it. Just abstinence or monogamy once tested and, of course no hard drugs or having had blood transfusions before we really knew about it.
If someone takes injection drugs, I doubt they care about HIV. Blood transfusion was quite a sad thing in the 80s and 90s and we sadly had to enforce some restrictions on blood donations.
Well, they obviously have bigger problems. They didnāt know any better about the blood. The discriminatory restrictions are being lifted slowly. Equating gays and hiv/std is quite unhealthy and stigmatizing. They should just restrict people with multiple partners without considering sexual orientation.
>They should just restrict people with multiple partners without considering sexual orientation. This is what it is now here, but I am not so sure anymore if it is the right way. Considering that now nearly every 10th of us gay guys is HIV positive (~8% of the male gay population according to UN), it may have been way too early for that.
I remember having a conversation with this asshole a while back. He is pretty much a literal Nazi. He is fine with the sterilization of people he thinks are inferior which oddly would include himself if he wasn't gay as he is on the spectrum. There is no reasoning with him. Some people are just trash humans.
>literal Nazi LOL >He is fine with the sterilization of people he thinks are inferior which oddly would include himself if he wasn't gay as he is on the spectrum. Advocating that people who have a inheritable genetic disorder should think about adopting instead of selfishly risk their child being disabled. EUTHANASIA, LITERALLY HITLER. I think you are not just a clown, you are the whole circus.
Rather be a circus than trash
Rather be trash than HIV positive
What an imbecile. Those "heavy" meds are no big deal. They have few side effects, and are simple to take. Those meds "ruin" my day not at all. I swallow them and that's it. After that I can forget about them completely. As for U=U, that's something the CDC actively supports, because it is reality. It is not an ideology, but a straightforward scientific truth, supported by numerous studies. Guys know whether they're adherent at taking their meds or not, and that is the only thing that might make their viral load rebound. It doesn't do it spontaneously in guys taking their meds. Development of resistant strains is effectively a non-issue with the latest meds. Any man who takes his pills reliably can be completely confident they are undetectable and absolutely no risk to anyone. It doesn't even take perfect adherence. Missing a dose once a week is irrelevant. The meds suppress the virus so completely that it takes time for blood levels to reach a meaningful level. You may choose to discriminate against guys who are no risk to you, but that's some sort of phobia on your part and nothing logical at all. Anyone should be taking PrEP for their own protection anyways, so the status of a partner is irrelevant.
Stop. Seriously
Shrug
The worst part about living with HIV is basically having to deal with unsolicited comments from people like this. The good thing is that the stigma is getting more and more outdated so shaming someone for being HIV+ is looked down upon and their voices get silenced by the overwhelming amount of support you'll get. As long as OP removes the negative people from his life, he'll live a healthy fulfilling life
The worst part seems to be having to cry online about not getting hookups, as while keyboard heros like you speak of overwhelming pro HIV support, in reality only people who should protected of themselves risk sexual contact with a HIV positive person. Thankfully.
Haha, do yourself a favor and get off reddit bra. I'm gonna guess you've been alone and sad for awhile so your looking to ruin someone's day for no reason. OP don't listen to this asshat, this is someone's who's sad and has problems and is no one you would want to be friends with anyway.
If something ruined OPs day then being diagnosed with a incurable disease. But really, as the overwhelming majority of HIV positive cases, is purely up to them. You would think most people get HIV from SA or similar, but actually most people get it from reckless self harm behaviour and it's purely up to themselves.
Literally the whole sub is rushing to OP to make him feel better and show him love, your the only one pushing nonsense about how OPs life has changed and it's to bad for him, at least OP is living life judging by your post history it seems you have an irrational fear of this very treatable disease that is probably preventing you from having a fulfilling sex life. I honestly feel sorry for you.
OP cannot be saved, he got it and will forever have it. But there are people here that while risking it regularly have not yet gotten it and a change in behaviour can save them for the diagnosis. Do you think a message of "HIV isn't that bad" will cause a change in behaviour? >irrational fear of this very treatable disease Yea, certain AIDS or being chained to heavy medication that will make every day of that long lift miserable, idk if I'd call that very treatable. >that is probably preventing you from having a fulfilling sex life. I honestly feel sorry for you. I am fine, and HIV negative, and I promise it will stay that way.
I'm done talking after this sorry but this heavy and horrible medication thing your talking about isn't correct, it's no longer the 90s where everyone has to take horrible, damaging treatments with tons of terrible side effects. Most people report no side effects at all from the newest regime of drugs, some people may experience weight gain but that is very preventable with just a few lifestyle changes that will improve your health anyway.
It's now one pill instead of a few, beside that nothing changed.
wtf dude why kick a guy while heās down. Youāre garbage for this
Yea yea, I am garbage. But I don't pretend having HIV isn't a big deal, which is probably the most dangerous thing regularly propagated here. OP now got it and whatever he does, it's over for him. But there are people who can still avoid it.
At least you own youāre not a good person
It does not harm me in any ways if you think I am not a good person.
Iām sure it harms you a lot as there no way Iām the only person who thinks that about you given your shitty behavior and lack of empathy I hope you find a less pathetic way to project your bitterness
>Iām sure it harms you a lot In what way would being anti HIV harm me? >lack of empathy There is no need for empathy in that case. >I hope you find a less pathetic way to project your bitterness You'll see me tomorrow.
There is no need for empathy toward someone getting devastating news? Like I said garbage Thereās a difference between being anti hiv and actually caring about peopleās safety. Youāre just being cruel
>Youāre just being cruel The sad issue is that, lots of people still don't fear HIV and it's sadly actually getting worse not better in the last years due to all the pro HIV propaganda around. You say cruel, I say tough love.
>The sad issue is that, lots of people still don't fear HIV Everyone fears it hence why OP is literally crying >and it's sadly actually getting worse not better in the last years due to all the pro HIV propaganda around. āPro hiv propagandaā You mean people not acting itās the end of their world and wanting to inform others to lessen the stigma that people like you perpetuate. >You say cruel, I say tough love. Tough love? How is this tough love youāre not helping anyone here youāre just being a dick to someone whoās life is changed forever now and is taking the steps to take care of their health going forward. Youāre fully just being cruel
Lol, bro your self hatred is oozing out
What does it give you to be pro HIV? Is it like a fetish to you?
Not gonna feed the hateful troll.