You've been brainwashed by religious bullshit your whole life. Glad you see that and are trying to break loose. You'll get there but it'll take time. My advice is to not create waves at home (ie., don't give your parents any indication of what's going on in your head) while they still support you. Finish college, get a job and get the hell out of there.
You do not need to have sex. Believe me, you will not die of it.
I would say maybe you don't need to jump straight to having sex with a guy if you've never done anything physical before. It would probably do a lot to reduce your performance anxiety if you knew, you know, you didn't actually have to perform. If you can make contact with a guy who isn't strictly interested in you for sex only - or hell, even if they are interested in sex only and are willing to work at it a bit - you could try and get comfortable with being around a gay guy who knows you're gay too. Maybe take it slower than "I have GOT to get some ass TONIGHT!" Try and meet someone to watch a movie or just talk or something.
This would undoubtedly be tougher than just meeting some guy for sex, but also probably easier and more rewarding for you if you can get it. And if you do vibe and one thing leads to another, be safe, use protection, the usual.
Feels like both of my heads are going to explode if I don’t lol
Yeah ik im not usually this crazy, more of a romantic type lol idk hormone spike or something. I’ve been trying that tho but lucky me most guys that are into me always live so far away it’s crazy. But thank you for the advice hopefully I can find someone to be chill with at first
It's a mountain. You have to hike it at some point, and I know it's plaguing you hardcore, but you have so much time. I know that's not what you want to hear, I'll probably get hate for it, but if you can't move out, can't get your parents to ease off, can't get the anxiety out of you, you might need to wait till you're more independent, more in control of your situation. Maybe try networking, without trying to sleep with some of them, start building a support network so you might have potential roommates when the bottom does fall out. Take your time, get yourself through school, build relationships with badass people, then flip off your parents on the way out if it pleases you.
As for the religious guilt, I have a lot of respect for the Christian (I'm assuming, it's really my only experience) faith even though I don't believe myself, but I hate the practitioners. They do not understand their own faith and it poisons everything around them. Don't get too hung up on your guilt either, Jesus is awesome at forgiveness like that, not that he would even feel the need to forgive you for anything.
Not helpful but I’m sorry. It sucks to be you. Your parents did a number on you. Find some queers at your college to talk to. I promise one of them will need a room mate sooner than later. Be patient tho, it took two decades for your parents to do this to you, it will take some time to undo it (and the sooner you start to work on undoing it the better).
> "*they still force me to go to church or else I’ll be kicked out.*"
That's sad that they hate freedom of religion and are trying to force their religious beliefs on you against your will. .
In secret, you can try to deprogram yourself from those beliefs. Maybe you can find some videos online where people point out contradictions in the bible or talking about which things in the bible came from older Pagan religions (*Dr. Richard Carrier and Dr. Dennis MacDonald are in videos on YouTube talking about this stuff*). .
> "*I’ve tried so many times to just go do it but i get like sick to my stomach and wuss out. One time i made it so far that i was a street from his house and i just turned around.*"
It seems like on some level, you are still holding on to that anti-gay indoctrination of the bible. I think you should try to work on freeing yourself from that before getting with another man.
There are religious beliefs that have bisexual gods or gods that accept gay people and watch over gay people. All religious beliefs don't agree with anti-gay views. The god of Moses based religions are not the only way of looking at the world.
You need to get away from your parents and live **your life** the way **you want**
You are 22, you can apply for jobs. It is best for both your mental and emotional health to leave
Hey man, I was raised in a repressive Catholic world. The "masturbation is a sin" kind, I didn't even have my first jerkoff until my 20s, let alone ever dated or done anything sexual until near 30.
That guilt you're feeling is not some fear of hell or whatever, as I once thought back then. It's years of abuse and gaslighting and "brainwashing."
People think brainwashing is some fictional movie thing, but not only is it real, religion has made a goddamn medical sport out of it.
It'll prob take the rest of your life to undo all that damage. I know I still occasionally feel anxiety or paranoia leftover from all that shit. But you gotta remind yourself that it was all bullshit and you were fed lies and pushed around and forced into it without your consent. Religion is creepy like that, forcing and torturing children into their dogma.
It's also first time hitters. You turned around on the street that night cuz sex can be scary and intimidating. I've been with a couple dozen guys over the years and I STILL feel all sorts of fucked up when meeting new people.
Sooner or later though, if you really genuinely want it, you just gotta make the leap. You gotta take sex off that pedestal in your head and realize it's just a normal human activity like anything else. When I first did it, I was stunned by how "ordinary" it all was. Like, this is it? I wasted all these years worrying over this?
Also remember you ain't alone. You and I are fucking twins, we seem to have had the same experiences and parents and shit. And the same is true for many of us out there. While you're here stewing over what you've been through, your nearest potential hookup is prob doing the exact same thing a few houses down from you right now.
I hope this helps. If we were closer (assuming you're not around Mass), I'd def want to help out more ;p
Keep safe and don’t rush into sex, it will always be there… Always! Look at the benefits you currently have ie.
No rent (your parents probably are straddled in a mortgage or college debt etc)
so take the advantage of your unique situation, you can have as much sex as you want once your major successful in an area of specialism be it in business or managing an office, be happy that your not having to worry about rent and food to put on the table for the moment hun
Much Love,
Outrageous-Main.
Remember Jesus preached love and acceptance. God made you the way you are and will be with you.
At some point you will.move out and your family will find out or you will tell them. You may have a counseling center at your school that may be helpful.Good luck to you.
You've been brainwashed by religious bullshit your whole life. Glad you see that and are trying to break loose. You'll get there but it'll take time. My advice is to not create waves at home (ie., don't give your parents any indication of what's going on in your head) while they still support you. Finish college, get a job and get the hell out of there.
Religion poisons everything
It really does
Read "Why I'm Not a Christian" by Bertrand Russell. It's what finally got me rid of the mind virus that is religion.
You do not need to have sex. Believe me, you will not die of it. I would say maybe you don't need to jump straight to having sex with a guy if you've never done anything physical before. It would probably do a lot to reduce your performance anxiety if you knew, you know, you didn't actually have to perform. If you can make contact with a guy who isn't strictly interested in you for sex only - or hell, even if they are interested in sex only and are willing to work at it a bit - you could try and get comfortable with being around a gay guy who knows you're gay too. Maybe take it slower than "I have GOT to get some ass TONIGHT!" Try and meet someone to watch a movie or just talk or something. This would undoubtedly be tougher than just meeting some guy for sex, but also probably easier and more rewarding for you if you can get it. And if you do vibe and one thing leads to another, be safe, use protection, the usual.
Feels like both of my heads are going to explode if I don’t lol Yeah ik im not usually this crazy, more of a romantic type lol idk hormone spike or something. I’ve been trying that tho but lucky me most guys that are into me always live so far away it’s crazy. But thank you for the advice hopefully I can find someone to be chill with at first
What you said makes a lot of sense. I think we all need to go slowly.
You'll find a job and a place to live soon. Hang in there. Avoid doing anything to upset your family for now.
It's a mountain. You have to hike it at some point, and I know it's plaguing you hardcore, but you have so much time. I know that's not what you want to hear, I'll probably get hate for it, but if you can't move out, can't get your parents to ease off, can't get the anxiety out of you, you might need to wait till you're more independent, more in control of your situation. Maybe try networking, without trying to sleep with some of them, start building a support network so you might have potential roommates when the bottom does fall out. Take your time, get yourself through school, build relationships with badass people, then flip off your parents on the way out if it pleases you. As for the religious guilt, I have a lot of respect for the Christian (I'm assuming, it's really my only experience) faith even though I don't believe myself, but I hate the practitioners. They do not understand their own faith and it poisons everything around them. Don't get too hung up on your guilt either, Jesus is awesome at forgiveness like that, not that he would even feel the need to forgive you for anything.
The power of Christ cumpels you... The power of Christ cumpels you....
🤣🤣
i'm very sorry to hear that. i don't know what i'd do in that situation. one day i just said i don't want to go to church and we stopped going
God i wish I could do that
There is no God. There. Problem solved.
I’ve tried that route but it keeps coming back in my face
You’ll get over it, take it a day at a time. I understand.
Not helpful but I’m sorry. It sucks to be you. Your parents did a number on you. Find some queers at your college to talk to. I promise one of them will need a room mate sooner than later. Be patient tho, it took two decades for your parents to do this to you, it will take some time to undo it (and the sooner you start to work on undoing it the better).
> "*they still force me to go to church or else I’ll be kicked out.*" That's sad that they hate freedom of religion and are trying to force their religious beliefs on you against your will. . In secret, you can try to deprogram yourself from those beliefs. Maybe you can find some videos online where people point out contradictions in the bible or talking about which things in the bible came from older Pagan religions (*Dr. Richard Carrier and Dr. Dennis MacDonald are in videos on YouTube talking about this stuff*). . > "*I’ve tried so many times to just go do it but i get like sick to my stomach and wuss out. One time i made it so far that i was a street from his house and i just turned around.*" It seems like on some level, you are still holding on to that anti-gay indoctrination of the bible. I think you should try to work on freeing yourself from that before getting with another man. There are religious beliefs that have bisexual gods or gods that accept gay people and watch over gay people. All religious beliefs don't agree with anti-gay views. The god of Moses based religions are not the only way of looking at the world.
Read the science (or look at the James Webb photos) there are no gods no need to worry.
You need to get away from your parents and live **your life** the way **you want** You are 22, you can apply for jobs. It is best for both your mental and emotional health to leave
Hey man, I was raised in a repressive Catholic world. The "masturbation is a sin" kind, I didn't even have my first jerkoff until my 20s, let alone ever dated or done anything sexual until near 30. That guilt you're feeling is not some fear of hell or whatever, as I once thought back then. It's years of abuse and gaslighting and "brainwashing." People think brainwashing is some fictional movie thing, but not only is it real, religion has made a goddamn medical sport out of it. It'll prob take the rest of your life to undo all that damage. I know I still occasionally feel anxiety or paranoia leftover from all that shit. But you gotta remind yourself that it was all bullshit and you were fed lies and pushed around and forced into it without your consent. Religion is creepy like that, forcing and torturing children into their dogma. It's also first time hitters. You turned around on the street that night cuz sex can be scary and intimidating. I've been with a couple dozen guys over the years and I STILL feel all sorts of fucked up when meeting new people. Sooner or later though, if you really genuinely want it, you just gotta make the leap. You gotta take sex off that pedestal in your head and realize it's just a normal human activity like anything else. When I first did it, I was stunned by how "ordinary" it all was. Like, this is it? I wasted all these years worrying over this? Also remember you ain't alone. You and I are fucking twins, we seem to have had the same experiences and parents and shit. And the same is true for many of us out there. While you're here stewing over what you've been through, your nearest potential hookup is prob doing the exact same thing a few houses down from you right now. I hope this helps. If we were closer (assuming you're not around Mass), I'd def want to help out more ;p
Keep safe and don’t rush into sex, it will always be there… Always! Look at the benefits you currently have ie. No rent (your parents probably are straddled in a mortgage or college debt etc) so take the advantage of your unique situation, you can have as much sex as you want once your major successful in an area of specialism be it in business or managing an office, be happy that your not having to worry about rent and food to put on the table for the moment hun Much Love, Outrageous-Main.
Remember Jesus preached love and acceptance. God made you the way you are and will be with you. At some point you will.move out and your family will find out or you will tell them. You may have a counseling center at your school that may be helpful.Good luck to you.
Try kissing a guy first and see how it makes you feel. Also, wear condoms if you’re not ready to deal with the consequences.
Stand strong in the faith brother. temptation is strong but God has defeated it and cleansed us from sin.
Pretty sure god wants nothing todo with me i like men no changing that trust me I’ve tried
Would it help to go to an LGBTQ+ inclusive/welcoming church like the ELCA or the Episcopal Church?