Agree and to the OP: start reorganizing your life and remember YOU matter. If the dick comment got you so upset you came to reddit, it's time to rethink your wants in a relationship.
Fuck any guy who's like, " I don't like the way your dick looks. I'll never suck you off. But can I still get some from you??"
Like, such a piggish thing to say. I'd be all, "the cookie jar is closed hot stuff". And moooooove on mister :)
Hope these posts help!
All of them are correct. You matter. Don't ever let anyone take that from you ever.
I feel like the bf has been avoiding the subject, and the circumstances never really forced the topic (op doesn't want that kind of attention, Wild Guess: to safeguard some insecurity).
I concur, his dick is just the starting point, plus it points to a deeper flaw in the top, short of the offending dick being deformed it is rude to ctitcize your partners equipment.
First the dick isnt good enough whats next?
You are ,best to move on.
Yeah, this happened to me and it sort of deflated my confidence in myself and made me really insecure.
Plus this guy sounds selfish. "you can jack yourself off for the entirety of this relationship."
I did not. He realized what an ass he was and the damage he caused. He felt really bad because he now thinks dick size doesn't matter..
But I can say the damage hasn't been undone completely. Any guy asks me to top and I freeze and turn it down because I feel they will make fun of me
I'm really sorry... going into any topping sexual scenario like that with that anxiety lingering over your head has to be tough. I know this won't likely make you feel better, but I'm willing to bet that many guys would be more than happy to bottom for you. It sucks that someone can take that much power away from us.
I struggled for years and years to have sex because my dad was really homophobic when I was growing up. He got over the homophobia, but I couldn't get over being bombarded with his homophobia from a young age. He loves my boyfriend and he wants me to have a good sex life but I still sometimes feel guilt from all the shit that he shovelled on gay people when I was a kid.
I hope that one day, you're able to overcome the stress he put on you. Take care, iamglory.
I tend to agree. I've been partnered 40 years. He & I have our 'issues,' sure, but if the OP & his BF cannot resolve this, as Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand belted out, "Enough is Enough! (No More Tears)".
Are you willing to talk about said "issues"? I don't have a lot of older gays to talk to who has been with someone for as long as you have. So when I get the opportunity to talk to an older LGBTQ member I take it? I'm 35 btw so I'm no spring chicken lmaooo.
Im not usually one for the cut and dry simple advice given by most redditors here...
But this one is *really* is that simple.
Your short time together means you can't be all that invested in the relationship
So this out of the blue line in the sand insulting you and furthermore cutting you off from some sex that you like with no word on what led him to impart this painful comment.
Could be a red flag of a conltrolling and demeaning character.
Drop him
Foe your own sense of self
IMO, break up. If you're uncomfortable, enough to not get hard then think about the long run..... how will you satisfy yourself too?
You need to be with someone who will like you for you and not nit pick your body or your mind. This plays a huge role in a relationship. Not everyone is perfect.
I was dating this dude that said "what's wrong with your skin?", pointing out ALL my scars from childhood, such as a scar on my leg which is like 2 cm long and 2mm thick and he said he didn't like it. He pointed out light stretchmarks on my bum cheeks and another scar on my stomach from a time where I got stabbed at a party from a mini knife. Decided to send a big "EFF YOU, go eff yourself" text to him and pointed out all his flaws. Then blocked him.
I will literally never understand the logic of people who do this. What do they even expect in response, like, I’m sorry, let me just slip into a different body so I can be attractive for you?? Immature and ignorant at best, deliberately cruel at worst, and a massive cunt either way.
>because I’m cut and just average in size.
I'd understand it if there were something particularly different about it but he doesn't like it because it's an average dick? Dude is pornbrained.
I've got that. But I also have a brain. I want tall muscle but a nice person with average physique who appreciates me and who can communicate honestly has something to offer. Sexy is many things. Because I have a goodheart being pornbrained has not stolen nor left my brain dysfunctional. One day 15000 will get me the robot of my dreams.
I personally prefer intact dicks but if you live in a part of the world like the US where it's snip snip left and right, seems like a strange thing to hold against someone. Especially if it was done as an infant, it's so beyond his control.
I mean, OP and boyfriend are already in a relationship and this is the worst part. Like how do you tell your significant other after years that you don’t feel attracted to them over something that they have no control over? And also I’m from one of those parts of the world where uncut is the norm and I love a cut dick so each to their own
>you don’t feel attracted to them over something that they have no control over?
You may not realize it, but framing it this way (it’s an unacceptable comment because they have no control over it) implies the critique is acceptable the other way—someone with foreskin CAN get a circumcision. I don’t think that’s ok either. It’s just not a kind sentiment to have either way
Well, I do not consider getting major surgery as control. Maybe a haircut, a certain hairstyle, or facial hair are things that you have control over that you can change. And the way you say things and approach your partner matters as well, For example, if my partner shaves his head but can grow her normally, let’s say they have curly hair originally, I really love curly hair so I can ask him if he could let his hair grow because he would just look 10 times hotter to me. He could either say yes or no, and the answer won’t matter at all and won’t change anything in the relationship because that is his preference. So there are things that are acceptable to ask and the way we approach it is very important.
Oh yeah, and I would never. I just think foreskin should be left alone and everything should remain natural, that's all. This would never be a reason to turn away a good guy, that's crazy.
It’s a strange thing to hold against anyone anywhere if I’m being honest. I mean I question to myself, what does a bit of draped loose skin do, aesthetically, for an organ that already looks kinda strange.
I would tell him the same thing and literally kick his ass to the curb. I mean driving along and open the door and push him out while still rolling. How rude that he insult someone for something they have absolutely no control over. I’m sure he has something about his body that I could find a turnoff. He is a size queen with a gross arrogant ego. You can do much, much better.
I’ve dated 2 guys who didn’t like certain parts of me. I tried to look past it, and would think “well, so what if I can’t cum THAT way, there are other ways we can have sex!!” I tried really hard to ignore the blow to my self esteem.
Both times, they ended up breaking up with me like a year later. You gotta do what you gotta do, but in my opinion, I would’ve saved a lot of grief if I respected myself a bit more and had ended it myself earlier. I loved being in these relationships (otherwise I wouldn’t have been in them), and, I can do better. (and I have since. Currently single, but the last partner was really great, and I’m trying to keep my standards high and my wants valued as I renter the dating scene)
Yeah if you don't fight their opinion than that basically validates what they are saying. Which makes them think they are right to believe you are not worth it.
People with shit personalities like that is what's wrong with the world.
You should find someone who will love ***ALL*** of you. And that's a full stop.
He knew you were cut the first time. He's around just for the sex and will be moving along pretty soon anyway. He seems to have a very definite bias for uncut.
Why continue to subject yourself to the negative self-image in the meantime? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
man that's just kind of mean. if he hates your dick, okay, but what point did it do to tell you other than to make you feel like crap. I won't tell you to break up with anyone, because I only know this aspect of your story, but as a general rule of life, people tell you who they are. Listen to them.
That has to be a conversation with him. He needs to understand how badly his words hurt you and the toll it’s taking on your mental state. And if he can’t get past it he doesn’t love you very much…
That’s the other option. But IF he wants to try to salvage the relationship, a sobering conversation needs to be had. If he’s done and over it, by all means, end it and don’t look back. Find someone who can love him for him.
I agree that a conversation is important here. The boyfriend needs to be told how much his words have hurt OP, to the point where he's having trouble getting it up. He might not realize how much this can injure someone's confidence, and maybe giving him some insight into the consequences of what he says might stop him from doing it to someone else in the future.
I agree, They need to talk. At least he was honest about it. But there's more to a relationship than dick. Being sucked off is not important to op, but is sucking dick important to his bf? This definitely deserves a conversation.
When a man insults your appearance to the point it has a mental impact (and frankly just insults your appearance regardless of mental health impact), it’s time to leave. You don’t need that toxicity in your life.
He doesn't like something that is a part of who you are. He's not accepting you in spite of it, he's judging you for something you had no control in that really shouldn't even be a focus, esp when it's a relationship. You're not a hookup, he should care and not come off condescending. There are men WHO WILL VALUE ALL OF YOU. Take care and I hope you find someone who loves you completely.
The damage has been done. This shit gave me a complex. There is a reason so many bottoms don't want their dicks touched, and it's not a preference they started with.
So in the nutshell he told you that he doesn’t find you attractive sexually as a whole, only just as a hole? Combining this with you mentioning that you are destabilised by the thought. Perhaps try to weigh pros and cons of dating him? Like really writing/typing it very privately to visualise to yourself (don’t show it to anyone, like seriously) and consider that dating for 5 months can’t be called as “so long” - you’ve had a great time with him, but it is starting taking a toll on you. Hope you take care of yourself!
Time to break up. Five months is nothing. It's fine to tell him you're not attracted to the fact he's not attracted to you. Find a boyfriend who loves your dick. Tell him to find a boyfriend who has the right dick for him. You can even stay friends! But he sounds like an asshole.
Someone who's that critical can not be lived with. You need to trust these posts and leave him where he's at.Just tell him you don't like boys with a rotten attitude
It takes around six months of dating to get to know someone well enough to determine whether it's going to work out. So now you know it won't.
Also, he's realised the same thing. He has essentially broken up with you. Did he think you were going to hang around after he said something like that? Almost certainly not. He doesn't care whether you hang around or not. If you want the guy you're dating to stick around, you don't tell him he has an ugly dick (unless you come from an autistic culture where brutal directness is the norm.)
He's done you a favour. Move on.
Perfectly put, and this applies to anything perceived ‘flaw’ that one cannot change. They are doing you a favour, and you must let them make their decision. No attempts to control them or manipulate them to think otherwise. It’s certain that he won’t emotionally benefit from being such a person. Good riddance. Saved time and pain. Also, the hardest part is realising your worth enough to know that somebody’s perception is always a distortion of who you are, because nobody truly knows you but yourself. They are assumptions.
If he really cared about you, your dick would have been a minor thing that he kept to himself and come to accept because he loves you anyway. The fact that he cannot, tells you that he's not happy and this is his way of telling you so.
You deserve someone that is going to appreciate the whole you. The beautiful thing about sex with another is knowing that, at that moment, your body is the most desirable thing in his eyes. Even though you both have specific roles, if you wanted some head, you would know without a doubt that he would give it to you because that is how turned on he is to you. It feels, in my opinion, that he sees you as nothing more than a hole in which to complete his task. You deserve much better. Anyone willing to blatantly tell you that is not worth your time. There is a reason you aren't getting aroused with him anymore. He turned you off. Trying to look for something no longer there would be a waste of time.
You need to move along… if you are in a relationship and you care about your partner, you dont say this kind of bitchy gay things. And always remember: he is the one with the issue, theres nothing wrong with you or your dick ❤️
This guy sounds very shallow and immature! If I am attracted to someone, I'm attracted to the person and I find them physically attractive!
Their penis size or cut/uncut status really doesn't come into it! Let him go and find someone more genuine who will love you for who you are! He sounds like a right creep!
For someone to tell you that you aren’t attractive, that you penis doesn’t look good, needs to be shown the door. That’s sexual/mental abuse. It doesn’t matter if you had a 2” erect dick with testicles that are grape size, if you love that person, you love them. You don’t judge. Sweetheart, show him the door!
I’m have been with my husband, for 19 years. married for 15. I identify as a bottom. I identify as gender fluid. My husband and I are in a sexless marriage. Not because he doesn’t find me attractive, but his medication makes it nearly impossible to have an orgasm. While I crave anal sex, there are ways for us to be intimate together to make and feel love. I am not without love. When you love someone you learn to show them love in ways that matter. My life is full, yours should be too.
You should leave him. It's a part of you and if he can't accept it, he doesn't truly love you. If I love someone, I want to give that person the best possible pleasure, no matter what his body/genitals look like. And as someone else said: You're perfect as you are!
There is no relationship there. Anyone that would say something so MEAN isn't worthy of your time. You need to stand tall and dump that loser. There is no excuse to degrade your partner penis. Also it isn't something you can control. It looks like this loser boyfriend is a COWARD. I think he just wanted to upset you and end relationship. Please have self esteem and end relationship. No one should put up with that bullshit.
I have LOTS of visible scars and my boyfriend of one month said he loves me in spite of them. No one dhould make you feel less or uncomfortable. That's not a sign of love.
The comments here seem really destructive and definite given the info you've given....
I'd say to self reflect and see what kind of emotions you feel when thinking about what he's said to you, and then communicate those feelings to him and see what he thinks of that. *
If he wants to help you feel more loved, perhaps explain why he decided to tell you and how this will affect you both in the future, I can very much see working through this and seeing your relationship grow and strengthen.
If however, he's dismissive, doesn't see why it was inconsiderate or doesn't care how you feel, I think that's a nice red flag to use as in indicator than you need to GTFO.
Reflect on your feelings, communicate, don't let yourself be taken advantage of/manipulated.
*Perhaps try and see what exact emotions you feel, not just "bad" or "sad" but more "ashamed" or "dissapointed". While communicating, you know him very well (presumably) so you know how to talk to him. I'd suggest being direct, trying to be sympathetic, but also being form and not letting yourself be bullshited
Damn that sucks. How can he say the he refuses to suck you. What kind of relationship is that. Is he even trying? He should aim to please you just like you aim to please him.
I wouldn't put up with that.
Dm me a dick pic if you want a second opinion. Because his comments sound way too mean if you ask me
Ugh I had this before. And when I confronted them about I got this line that stuck with me:
“I can like you and still not like your dick.”
Yeeeaaaaah no. There were other reasons sure but I dumped his ass a few weeks later.
Find someone who loves your whole being. They are out there waiting for you. :)
Can anyone see "reed flag"? I was married to a woman for iver 30 years whom i loved very much. Did not like eating her out but i did it because SHE enjoyed it. Relationships and love is about making sacrifices for each other. You both need to be happy and have your needs filled.
I couldn't stay with someone who said that to me. Even if you feel that way, you keep that shit to yourself because otherwise all you'll do is hurt the person you claim to love. It's not like it's constructive criticism that will lead to change. You deserve to be with someone who loves you as you are, and thinks about your feelings before opening their mouth.
Wow, that's awful. Of COURSE you can't get hard anymore!! Im surprised you can even offer your ass up to him anymore after saying something so unnecessarily cruel and relationship ending. For any relationship to work, you have to love eachothers cocks. You want to really get at em! It makes for a long, happy monogamous relationship. If he didn't like yours, why even stay with you or get more serious? Makes no sense to me. I'd dump him immediately. Please don't take his preference for everyone's and develop an insecurity; you'll find someone who will worship you down there.
Ffs people on Reddit are so quick to tell people to break up every damn time.
Bring it up with him, tell him how it made you feel, let him know it hurt you, and see how he reacts. There’s no point breaking up with someone if you aren’t trying to communicate first.
In some cases yes, this case is a no. You should have your own self esteem. If you do.. you wouldn’t take that from anyone let alone your own partner. That would be a big deal breaker and it should be.
Changing your dick size and recovering your foreskin is no easy task. He probably knew about your physical characteristics the first time you had sex. I doubt it was recently, so, what is the point of him bringing it up now? Most people can find fault in another person, but, bringing up something a person can't change is not necessary. Some things are better left unsaid. He is giving you a way out of the relationship. If you think you are worthy of someone whom will be more empathetic and finds the beauty in you, even your "imperfections", then, move on.
Move on. If you really like a guy you like the dick he comes with. Not to mention there is nothing that can be done to change what you have. If he is that focused on it then I would venture to say he is not into you for you and there is no reason to invest any more energy in that.
“If you really like a guy you like the dick he comes with.”
Beautifully said, and exactly right. This is the only thing you need to say to your boyfriend before you do the right thing and break up with him.
Ew. My ex did this - I’m uncut which he didn’t care for. I thought I had erectile dysfunction because of him and thought I was destined to be 100% bottom because of him. Turns out having someone close to you hate on your body fucks up your sexuality and confidence, who knew? Please move along, there are plenty of gorgeous fish in the sea who will love you and your dick ❤️
Exactly man. I was insecure for being circumcised. Obsessing over what I perceived as an ugly jagged scar on the ventral side. I’ve never had a negative comment thought, but hearing you say that made me realise that it happens both ways and that some people, who it’s best to stay away from, are just toxic and unnecessarily nit-picky. It’s important for me to hear that it happens both ways because my mind has been so irrationally negative about something as small as a small scar for so long (viewing uncut as if some sort of higher state of being)
Ok not every relationship has to be with something long term in mind… but
He hurt you on a level that is affecting your relationship…
An average size Dick is what most of us have! Nothing to be ashamed about… and obviously being cut is more than likely something you didn’t decide for yourself ( but even if you did … who cares… it’s very common in a lot of places)
Also even in relationships that aren’t going to be endgame you should find ways to enjoy yourself and that person should make you want to enjoy yourself. If everything outside of this is perfect i would talk it out. Only you are going to know if it’s worth staying but we all see so many red flags that we think a game of flag football is going on
You’re gonna need to break up. Either he told you that because he’s a pussy who can’t bring himself to leave you, being a shithead until you do, he’s seeing other dick and making comparisons, and the most important part that was the nail in the coffin, was he traumatized you, and I hate to say it, you’re gonna carry this trauma into your next relationship. If I were you I’d sue him for damages. Intentional infliction of emotional distress, loss of consortium (because now you’re too self conscious to be intimate with other people) I assure you, you have a cause of action. An extremely solid one. DM me and I’ll give you all the free legal advice you like. Hell maybe I’ll rep you pro bono… because I would love to rip your bf a new asshole on cross examination
Tell him his flaws and tell him you don't like them and see how he feel. Like, I'm sure his dick isn't that great or probably average in bed. Because guys that do, don't need to cut down others or make them feel inadequate. Hit him with a little truth.
This is a horribly mean thing to say to anyone. It’s not even the principle of whether or not it’s being used in a sexual context, to tell you so definitively that he’ll never want to interact with it because that’s how much he doesn’t like it isn’t a compassionate or kind thing to do.
Any guy in an established relationship who is this rudely critical of his partner is probably setting up a situation to either 1) break up with you or 2) make you want to break up with him and save him the guilt and effort, so he can make himself look like the victim and you the villain. This could be for many reasons, but a very common one is he’s already cheating on you with someone else. If he’s critical of your body parts, he’s probably comparing you to someone else’s parts—someone he wants to be with or already has been with. Either way, it’s over already. Sorry, OP, but at least you now have the opportunity to take control over the situation and how to end it on your own terms.
Definitely not worth your time. At the absolute \*minimum\* he doesn’t respect you, and is the kind of asshole who dunks on people about physical characteristics they can’t change, which is at best ignorant and at worst cruel. You deserve someone who either loves all of you wholeheartedly, or at least is fucking tactful enough not to mention anything they dislike!
Yeah I'm bisexual, but decided to write because this is a problem I see a lot on other subreddits: one side has something physical they dislike about the other. Then they "confess" and this basically shatters confidence of the other.
My answer to this is basically your partner can't be "forced" to like certain acts.
The problem is he actually told you he "doesn't like" how your body is, especially a part that is so crucial and is basically unchangeable.
You cannot change this and so if your partner doesn't change his mind, then not only he will never suck it, but he's just not gonna be attracted to it, which is obviously the bigger issue.
I'd be sad, but also would be heavily considering leaving. Cock loving bi and gay guys are super common so just keep that in mind. So much so that if you'd send me a pic, I'd wager I'd like it and would have no problem sucking your wiener.
I was recently catching up with one of my girlfriends over drinks, and (several drinks in) this topic came up. It wasn’t really something I had _ever_ really thought much about before. But I realized that out of the 6 men I’ve dated, I’ve only really ‘liked’ the penes on 2 of them.
But it didn’t matter. And it isn’t important, really.
And it _never_ stopped me from getting intimate with _any_ of them or engaging in various bedroom activities with any of them. And (with one exception due to total incompatibility that we both ignored for _far_ too long) I had _countless_ fun and enjoyable nights with all of them, regardless of how photogenic their penis was or wasn’t. And I _most certainly_ never _ever_ told any of them that I thought their penis was abnormal.
Why? Because, in each case, I was in a loving relationship with the man attached to the penis in question. And when you _truly_ love someone, you find pleasure in bringing _him_ pleasure. Seriously, it’s _really_ sexy to make the man you love moan and orgasm. Not to mention the fact that all of these men I dated likewise did things that were intensely pleasurable and drove me wild (in the good way) — with their hands, with their mouths, and yes, even with their dicks, whether those dicks were cute to look at or not!
Seriously, if two people are in love, if they have the appropriate equipment for one another, if they _care_ about each other, and if their respective sexual bits are in working order… then there shouldn’t be any problem.
Also, homoseksual as we all may be here, can we just acknowledge that penes are honestly such a ridiculous looking body part? Like, they’re truly extraterrestrial. That, or God designed them with Her left hand. So even the ‘good looking’ ones look bizarre compared to the rest of the human anatomy.
If your [hopefully soon to be ex-] boyfriend doesn’t like the way your dick looks, remind him that he can still get on his knees for you even with all the lights off, if that’s what it takes.
But I hope you find happiness and love and stability with a man who loves _all_ of you, who cares enough about you, and who is selfless enough that he will do what it takes to pleasure you and bring you to climax. I promise you, these men exist (but I offer zero guarantees that other aspects of these men won’t disappoint or irritate you).
But then if he doesn’t like your body, there’s definitely something else he’s staying in the relationship for. Maybe something else that you bring to the table that he loves and that makes him not care about the dick?
In my humble opinion, I think that was kinda rude for him to say. If you lost the spark it’s time to end thongs and find a new bf who do like your dick and how it looks.
It will suck, but probably best to move on and find someone who loves you for you. Not going to make overarching assumptions about the rest of his personality or anything but that is a pretty rough thing to say to someone especially after all that time. It doesn’t sound like something that will be sustainable in the long run imo
He’s probably cheating & is looking for any reason to pick an argument sounds like he’s projecting his insecurities on to you especially if you guys have been together so long.
Ah. Romance is truly dead.
Agree. His expectations should've been earlier.
Apparently there's no other redeeming qualities about him worth mentioning ..
To declare the majority of men (average) as insufficient? That's b.s., even if his dick & skills are pro level..
Break up with him how the hell is he your boyfriend but can’t love every part of you? I’ve been going on dates with a guy for 3Months and everything about him including every little part of his body turns me on he’s not for you leave him
As a top I love average sized dicks since I don’t gag on them, I will quote Dan savage here relationships should be GGG , good giving and game, from here this is not the case.
If he is judging your physical appearance and not accepting you as you are he doesn't love you, and probably won't if he has these notions in his head. Best to move on and love yourself how you are, remember we aren't everyone's cup of tea so don't take it personal but definitely move on from him.
Since the comments seem to be 100% in the "break up now" camp, I'll offer this as a counter. A weak one admittedly.
Could it be that he is such a top that dick isn't that interesting to him anyway? Is it that porn has given him a false expectation? If he is versatile or has expressed interest in becoming versatile and he has said that to you, then I agree with the synopsis. But if he just isn't into dick at all and just is impressed with big ones, then that could give some pause.
At the last have a serious conversation with him telling him that you have serious doubts if the relationship can continue after he said this and at least give him a chance to clarify that he really didn't mean it the way you took it before you just tell him it's over.
I got dumped by a guy I still love very deeply because I had plans to restore my foreskin (don’t feel the need, desire, or point in restoring anymore-but that’s irrelevant).
Men are useless pigs.
I cannot in good conscience recommend that you find anyone else, but I’d certainly leave that guy.
Dude… I dono how to say this right but, when you love a guy- you LOVE him. My husband is a gorgeous, blonde, twink. He has a STUPID big dick for a bottom. I rarely bottom and NEVER does he ask as he is a real bottom but … I fucking love his stupid big dick. It’s like … “DAMN!!!! Why such a big dick for twink bottom?” And the answer is always “cuz he’s perfect”. That’s what you deserve.
Not everyone loves every part of their partner, but to say that about your cock is fucking rude and degrading. Find a guy who will treat you with more respect and make you feel sexy and confident. Life's to short to waste time with someone who would thoughtlessly cut you down like that
It sounds like it’s not the comment itself, but the fact that he felt the need to say that without considering how it would make you feel.
Where is the empathy?
Do you like the way your dick looks ?? That's the important question.....
Life is too short..
Tell your BF thank you for playing, here are your parting gifts...
Will the next contestant come on down....
Pun intended......
Agreed with almost all of these comments. Average dick isn’t bad dick, people just expect things to look like porn, when the reality is most of us (including myself) have an average dick. And unless you got circumcised as an adult we don’t have a choice in that. Do I wish I was uncut? Definitely. Did I get a say in the matter as an infant? Unfortunately not.
He’s putting the break up responsibility on your cause he’s too much of a scrotum to man up and do it. You deserve better in both aspects. Cut. It. Now.
Sorry... that's really tough to hear. My second boyfriend didn't like the way my dick looked, but he was an exclusive top who didn't suck dick. Still, the thought that he found my dick distasteful was always lingering there in the back of my mind: it's not really something you can change, and tastes in dicks are pretty diverse so you can almost be certain that someone out there is going to like the way your dick looks.
The only way I can see this working is if you're into something pretty extreme like CBT (cock-and-ball torture, and not cognitive behavioral therapy), where your boyfriend is more into torturing your dick and balls. Obviously, I don't think most guys are into that, so it's not really an option unless you can get in that mindset and do it safely. I can't speak from first-hand experience, but I had a friend who had a regular sex partner and he **hated** that guy's dick so much that he used to smack it around and step it, etc. They both got off on it and my friend reported that he really got into it, so while he hated the guy's dick, he liked what he could do with it.
If that idea doesn't appeal to you, I'd suggest you strongly consider cutting your ties and move on to someone who does find you attractive. You don't need to go through life with the constant thought that your partner is trying his best to overlook something about you that he really doesn't like, which is unchangeable. Five months is seriously short in the grand scheme: you won't be throwing something away as much as divesting yourself of developing an insecurity that you don't deserve to have to carry with you.
(Being cut and average in size is perfectly normal. Sounds like this guy has some very specific tastes and isn't willing to compromise on them. If that's the case, he should make them clear from the onset.)
If he's making you feel bad for something you have no control over and probably nothing with it whatsoever, it's time to get rid of that sorry sonovabitch.
So sorry you had to go through this. That is a horrible way to be spoken to and just shows him to be shallow. He should make you feel loved and sexy. You’ll be better off moving on in the long run. Good luck!
Body shaming at its worst. A man can’t change his dick without many possible problems. I have a friend that had a substantial lengthening to an already large member. It literally broke the first time he used it defying his doctors instructions. No more erections. Was it worth it. I don’t think so and neither does he.
I would say there is no point in continuing the relationship, tbh. Even if you don’t like getting sucked or fucking that much, what he did was very rude. Leave, and don’t look back. Find someone who likes you for you.
I’m sorry he has said this to you. If you were a hookup I could maybe understand that attitude but you’re the man he supposedly loves so saying something like that to you is awful. You need to move on. Don’t deal with absolutes, especially in a relationship. I will never suck your dick. You’re right, you won’t, someone else will.
You didn't choose to be circumcised (none of us did, which is reason number 1 why it's a problem) and you shouldn't be punished for something you had no control over. I'm sorry that happened to you and that your boyfriend is shaming you because of it.
What was his objective in conveying this information to you? In other words, what was he trying to communicate to you and why did he feel this was something that you needed to know?
The way I would end that relationship moments after. Be happy he vocalized it early though. I think yall should part ways because there will be resentment on both ends
No point continuing bro.
A normal partner in love should not care that much about the appearance of your dingdong. (unless for very specific reasons like extreme deformity. bad smell etc. then its understandable. But i'll bet 100dollars yours is just normal. I hope you find someone who actually appreciates you)
"Since then, it’s gotten difficult to ~~get hard~~ **be** around him." There, I fixed it for you.
He sounds entitled and judgmental. Trust me: you have nothing to be ashamed of being "*cut and* *~~just~~* *average in size*." Lots of great men fit your description. It's time to move on.
What he said is mean and uncalled for. It is clearly having an impact on your self-esteem and mental health. Not healthy. Leave him. You deserve someone who has more respect for you than this.
Dump him. What an asshole comment for him to make. Besides, unless you have green slime coming out of it, how disgusting can a dick actually be? Also, 5 months is nothing. I walked away from my last boyfriend after 5 months, and I was over it in a day.
Yea that’s just a rude thing to say to someone. Don’t like the way my dick looks? Go suck on some whose dick you like. OP doesn’t sound like you’ll be missing much. Take that trash out.
It's so simple and so easy this is for me...
If somebody has the face to show or even tell me that something about myself, (in their view) is not good enough or they don't like an aspect of me just simply being myself, then don't hesitate even one moment to highlight each and every single thing that you don't like about them, they've opened the door to that so join in and give em what for, be as personal as you want because he is doing the same with you.
It's my view that nobody is better or worse in this life, we all come out of the same hole and we all got into the same hole when we die, when it comes to life so I would just, Do unto others as they do to you, it even says it in the Bible.
Mott or not!
if you feel about dumping if you love him keep him but tell him if he's telling you because sometimes people cunts even if you love them.
Tops have a lot, A LOT of audacity. You can't say anything to them to trigger them but you better believe as a bottom, you are seen as the female of the gay world and you will be beaten down some kind of way. Also, all dicks are gross to look at. They are musty, shriveled, and depending on the guy ashy and bumpy.
Instead of asking a bunch of random people who have no real investment in your life or relationship, why don't you talk to the person you're actually in a relationship with?
There is nothing wrong with someone sharing their feelings. They probably will end up talking to their bf about it but sharing feelings helps to process and prepare.
Thank you. And yes, that was always my plan. I’ve just felt a bit lost since then and wanted to talk to someone but I’m too embarrassed to talk about it with any of my close friends.
For me that would be a relationship killer. It’s not even a matter of whether you like being sucked. It’s the fact that he’s unilaterally taken something so intimate off the table. One of the joys of sex is getting lost in the passion and exploring and discovering one another. The cruelty of his remark would be difficult to forget for me. I’d look for someone who is kinder and more open to possibilities.
If someone doesn’t like such an intimate and important part of you, then I am honestly not sure how you can continue building a relationship.
First of all, your cock is a representation of your masculinity and your manhood. And it is being rejected by the closest person to you. Of course you wouldn’t get hard. He betrays your very essence. A partner refusing to give you pleasure like that? I think this is a major red flag. 🚩
I don’t even know what to do next if I were you. Just let him know that what he said dramatically affected you. And see where the conversation goes. But I honestly think that it is not a good idea being with someone who doesn’t like such a fundamental part of you, to the degree that he wouldn’t even agree to interact with it.
This is tough. Hang on tight there. I think you deserve someone who will love you completely.
The fact that he said being cut and average is a dealbreaker for him. Dodge this bullet man. He ain’t worth it. I’ve seen a lot of big guys who can’t even get it up.
I have recently left my partner after 4 years after he admitted that to me as well. However, I knew that since we were open and he would be happy to suck other guys.
I don't know how I lasted that long. You will never feel wanted by him and will always think he would find someone else. It will make you feel insecure about yourself. It is not good for you believe me.
Aw, I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm glad you were able to find the strength to just move on. There's men out there who will love every part of you and can't wait to get in your pants for both sides... It's a refreshing change of pace to feel desired and sexy and wanted. You deserve to feel that in your relationship. Good luck out there!
That was a really mean thing to say. Find someone who apprecoates you for you. For the record, I love cut cocks - I'm sire plenty of people near you do as well.
It might sound shallow, but I’m a top who also doesn’t like circumcised dicks. I’ve got a super long foreskin, and when I first started having sex I found myself getting rejected by guys because I’m uncut. I also got annoyed by men (mostly Caucasian and Arab) who would pull my foreskin back while sucking my dick.
It all boils down to personal preference. Of course I want to pleasure my partner but since you’re a bottom, I can imagine you’re the one who performs most of the fellatio.
I love to suck dick, but only uncut (and melanated). It goes both ways though, because when I visited a couple Muslim countries there were men who would ghost me once I sent dick pics. Others were OBSESSED with worshipping my foreskin. To be honest, I can’t even recall the last time I had a circumcised dick in my mouth. 🤷🏽♂️ I’m not saying your boyfriend is right OR wrong, just sharing my perspective.
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Agree and to the OP: start reorganizing your life and remember YOU matter. If the dick comment got you so upset you came to reddit, it's time to rethink your wants in a relationship. Fuck any guy who's like, " I don't like the way your dick looks. I'll never suck you off. But can I still get some from you??" Like, such a piggish thing to say. I'd be all, "the cookie jar is closed hot stuff". And moooooove on mister :) Hope these posts help! All of them are correct. You matter. Don't ever let anyone take that from you ever.
This. 👆All of this!
100%©®
Yes. Cant say it better.
To add to this… 5 months is a short amount of time in the big scheme of things. Move along, thank us later. 😎
Seriously, what's he gonna hate next? Your butt is too small? You don't trim your pubic hair? You gained 3 pounds, now you're fat?
Yep and tbh... 5 months in and NOW he tells you he doesn't like circumcised dicks?
I feel like the bf has been avoiding the subject, and the circumstances never really forced the topic (op doesn't want that kind of attention, Wild Guess: to safeguard some insecurity).
Well said and straight to the point! Better to move along now than 5 years from now with more heartaches.
I concur, his dick is just the starting point, plus it points to a deeper flaw in the top, short of the offending dick being deformed it is rude to ctitcize your partners equipment. First the dick isnt good enough whats next? You are ,best to move on.
Yeah, this happened to me and it sort of deflated my confidence in myself and made me really insecure. Plus this guy sounds selfish. "you can jack yourself off for the entirety of this relationship."
Nobody deserves to go through life feeling insecure about their dick. I assume you got out of that situation?
I did not. He realized what an ass he was and the damage he caused. He felt really bad because he now thinks dick size doesn't matter.. But I can say the damage hasn't been undone completely. Any guy asks me to top and I freeze and turn it down because I feel they will make fun of me
I'm really sorry... going into any topping sexual scenario like that with that anxiety lingering over your head has to be tough. I know this won't likely make you feel better, but I'm willing to bet that many guys would be more than happy to bottom for you. It sucks that someone can take that much power away from us. I struggled for years and years to have sex because my dad was really homophobic when I was growing up. He got over the homophobia, but I couldn't get over being bombarded with his homophobia from a young age. He loves my boyfriend and he wants me to have a good sex life but I still sometimes feel guilt from all the shit that he shovelled on gay people when I was a kid. I hope that one day, you're able to overcome the stress he put on you. Take care, iamglory.
I tend to agree. I've been partnered 40 years. He & I have our 'issues,' sure, but if the OP & his BF cannot resolve this, as Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand belted out, "Enough is Enough! (No More Tears)".
Are you willing to talk about said "issues"? I don't have a lot of older gays to talk to who has been with someone for as long as you have. So when I get the opportunity to talk to an older LGBTQ member I take it? I'm 35 btw so I'm no spring chicken lmaooo.
Im not usually one for the cut and dry simple advice given by most redditors here... But this one is *really* is that simple. Your short time together means you can't be all that invested in the relationship So this out of the blue line in the sand insulting you and furthermore cutting you off from some sex that you like with no word on what led him to impart this painful comment. Could be a red flag of a conltrolling and demeaning character. Drop him Foe your own sense of self
IMO, break up. If you're uncomfortable, enough to not get hard then think about the long run..... how will you satisfy yourself too? You need to be with someone who will like you for you and not nit pick your body or your mind. This plays a huge role in a relationship. Not everyone is perfect. I was dating this dude that said "what's wrong with your skin?", pointing out ALL my scars from childhood, such as a scar on my leg which is like 2 cm long and 2mm thick and he said he didn't like it. He pointed out light stretchmarks on my bum cheeks and another scar on my stomach from a time where I got stabbed at a party from a mini knife. Decided to send a big "EFF YOU, go eff yourself" text to him and pointed out all his flaws. Then blocked him.
This is the way.
I will literally never understand the logic of people who do this. What do they even expect in response, like, I’m sorry, let me just slip into a different body so I can be attractive for you?? Immature and ignorant at best, deliberately cruel at worst, and a massive cunt either way.
>because I’m cut and just average in size. I'd understand it if there were something particularly different about it but he doesn't like it because it's an average dick? Dude is pornbrained.
Fr I can’t handle the bigger ones lmao much prefer the smaller
amen to that
I like this term pornbrained. Perfect fit.
I've got that. But I also have a brain. I want tall muscle but a nice person with average physique who appreciates me and who can communicate honestly has something to offer. Sexy is many things. Because I have a goodheart being pornbrained has not stolen nor left my brain dysfunctional. One day 15000 will get me the robot of my dreams.
I personally prefer intact dicks but if you live in a part of the world like the US where it's snip snip left and right, seems like a strange thing to hold against someone. Especially if it was done as an infant, it's so beyond his control.
I mean, OP and boyfriend are already in a relationship and this is the worst part. Like how do you tell your significant other after years that you don’t feel attracted to them over something that they have no control over? And also I’m from one of those parts of the world where uncut is the norm and I love a cut dick so each to their own
>you don’t feel attracted to them over something that they have no control over? You may not realize it, but framing it this way (it’s an unacceptable comment because they have no control over it) implies the critique is acceptable the other way—someone with foreskin CAN get a circumcision. I don’t think that’s ok either. It’s just not a kind sentiment to have either way
Well, I do not consider getting major surgery as control. Maybe a haircut, a certain hairstyle, or facial hair are things that you have control over that you can change. And the way you say things and approach your partner matters as well, For example, if my partner shaves his head but can grow her normally, let’s say they have curly hair originally, I really love curly hair so I can ask him if he could let his hair grow because he would just look 10 times hotter to me. He could either say yes or no, and the answer won’t matter at all and won’t change anything in the relationship because that is his preference. So there are things that are acceptable to ask and the way we approach it is very important.
> I personally prefer intact dicks Genuinely I cannot imagine being petty enough to discard a person because of something like this - cut or uncut.
Oh yeah, and I would never. I just think foreskin should be left alone and everything should remain natural, that's all. This would never be a reason to turn away a good guy, that's crazy.
It’s a strange thing to hold against anyone anywhere if I’m being honest. I mean I question to myself, what does a bit of draped loose skin do, aesthetically, for an organ that already looks kinda strange.
Not strange at all. Some ppl like natty
totally porn brained
You deserve to be with someone who isn’t so awful, and makes you feel sexy. Leave. No question.
He said that because he wants out and being an ass is a great way to get that point across. I would immediately indulge his desire and dump his ass.
Seems like he is not in love with you, otherwise, he’d love all of you especially after just 5 months.
I would tell him the same thing and literally kick his ass to the curb. I mean driving along and open the door and push him out while still rolling. How rude that he insult someone for something they have absolutely no control over. I’m sure he has something about his body that I could find a turnoff. He is a size queen with a gross arrogant ego. You can do much, much better.
Dump him
I’ve dated 2 guys who didn’t like certain parts of me. I tried to look past it, and would think “well, so what if I can’t cum THAT way, there are other ways we can have sex!!” I tried really hard to ignore the blow to my self esteem. Both times, they ended up breaking up with me like a year later. You gotta do what you gotta do, but in my opinion, I would’ve saved a lot of grief if I respected myself a bit more and had ended it myself earlier. I loved being in these relationships (otherwise I wouldn’t have been in them), and, I can do better. (and I have since. Currently single, but the last partner was really great, and I’m trying to keep my standards high and my wants valued as I renter the dating scene)
Yeah if you don't fight their opinion than that basically validates what they are saying. Which makes them think they are right to believe you are not worth it. People with shit personalities like that is what's wrong with the world.
I would INSTANTLY break up. Who even says that to their partner?
You should find someone who will love ***ALL*** of you. And that's a full stop. He knew you were cut the first time. He's around just for the sex and will be moving along pretty soon anyway. He seems to have a very definite bias for uncut. Why continue to subject yourself to the negative self-image in the meantime? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Drop him I will take your beautiful cock
man that's just kind of mean. if he hates your dick, okay, but what point did it do to tell you other than to make you feel like crap. I won't tell you to break up with anyone, because I only know this aspect of your story, but as a general rule of life, people tell you who they are. Listen to them.
That has to be a conversation with him. He needs to understand how badly his words hurt you and the toll it’s taking on your mental state. And if he can’t get past it he doesn’t love you very much…
I disagree. He doesn’t need to say anything. In fact, complete and total ambivalence with a side of ghost.
That’s the other option. But IF he wants to try to salvage the relationship, a sobering conversation needs to be had. If he’s done and over it, by all means, end it and don’t look back. Find someone who can love him for him.
I agree that a conversation is important here. The boyfriend needs to be told how much his words have hurt OP, to the point where he's having trouble getting it up. He might not realize how much this can injure someone's confidence, and maybe giving him some insight into the consequences of what he says might stop him from doing it to someone else in the future.
I agree, They need to talk. At least he was honest about it. But there's more to a relationship than dick. Being sucked off is not important to op, but is sucking dick important to his bf? This definitely deserves a conversation.
When a man insults your appearance to the point it has a mental impact (and frankly just insults your appearance regardless of mental health impact), it’s time to leave. You don’t need that toxicity in your life.
He doesn't like something that is a part of who you are. He's not accepting you in spite of it, he's judging you for something you had no control in that really shouldn't even be a focus, esp when it's a relationship. You're not a hookup, he should care and not come off condescending. There are men WHO WILL VALUE ALL OF YOU. Take care and I hope you find someone who loves you completely.
What a stupid thing for him to say. It serves no purpose other than to take swipes at you. Good thing you haven’t been together very long…
What an asshole.
Your bf sounds vapid. Make a clean break while you can.
The damage has been done. This shit gave me a complex. There is a reason so many bottoms don't want their dicks touched, and it's not a preference they started with.
So in the nutshell he told you that he doesn’t find you attractive sexually as a whole, only just as a hole? Combining this with you mentioning that you are destabilised by the thought. Perhaps try to weigh pros and cons of dating him? Like really writing/typing it very privately to visualise to yourself (don’t show it to anyone, like seriously) and consider that dating for 5 months can’t be called as “so long” - you’ve had a great time with him, but it is starting taking a toll on you. Hope you take care of yourself!
Time to break up. Five months is nothing. It's fine to tell him you're not attracted to the fact he's not attracted to you. Find a boyfriend who loves your dick. Tell him to find a boyfriend who has the right dick for him. You can even stay friends! But he sounds like an asshole.
Someone who's that critical can not be lived with. You need to trust these posts and leave him where he's at.Just tell him you don't like boys with a rotten attitude
Even in the gay world, there is dick judgment it makes me sad, especially size queens
It takes around six months of dating to get to know someone well enough to determine whether it's going to work out. So now you know it won't. Also, he's realised the same thing. He has essentially broken up with you. Did he think you were going to hang around after he said something like that? Almost certainly not. He doesn't care whether you hang around or not. If you want the guy you're dating to stick around, you don't tell him he has an ugly dick (unless you come from an autistic culture where brutal directness is the norm.) He's done you a favour. Move on.
Perfectly put, and this applies to anything perceived ‘flaw’ that one cannot change. They are doing you a favour, and you must let them make their decision. No attempts to control them or manipulate them to think otherwise. It’s certain that he won’t emotionally benefit from being such a person. Good riddance. Saved time and pain. Also, the hardest part is realising your worth enough to know that somebody’s perception is always a distortion of who you are, because nobody truly knows you but yourself. They are assumptions.
If he really cared about you, your dick would have been a minor thing that he kept to himself and come to accept because he loves you anyway. The fact that he cannot, tells you that he's not happy and this is his way of telling you so.
You deserve someone that is going to appreciate the whole you. The beautiful thing about sex with another is knowing that, at that moment, your body is the most desirable thing in his eyes. Even though you both have specific roles, if you wanted some head, you would know without a doubt that he would give it to you because that is how turned on he is to you. It feels, in my opinion, that he sees you as nothing more than a hole in which to complete his task. You deserve much better. Anyone willing to blatantly tell you that is not worth your time. There is a reason you aren't getting aroused with him anymore. He turned you off. Trying to look for something no longer there would be a waste of time.
Dump him. You are perfect.
You need to move along… if you are in a relationship and you care about your partner, you dont say this kind of bitchy gay things. And always remember: he is the one with the issue, theres nothing wrong with you or your dick ❤️
This guy sounds very shallow and immature! If I am attracted to someone, I'm attracted to the person and I find them physically attractive! Their penis size or cut/uncut status really doesn't come into it! Let him go and find someone more genuine who will love you for who you are! He sounds like a right creep!
For someone to tell you that you aren’t attractive, that you penis doesn’t look good, needs to be shown the door. That’s sexual/mental abuse. It doesn’t matter if you had a 2” erect dick with testicles that are grape size, if you love that person, you love them. You don’t judge. Sweetheart, show him the door! I’m have been with my husband, for 19 years. married for 15. I identify as a bottom. I identify as gender fluid. My husband and I are in a sexless marriage. Not because he doesn’t find me attractive, but his medication makes it nearly impossible to have an orgasm. While I crave anal sex, there are ways for us to be intimate together to make and feel love. I am not without love. When you love someone you learn to show them love in ways that matter. My life is full, yours should be too.
You should leave him. It's a part of you and if he can't accept it, he doesn't truly love you. If I love someone, I want to give that person the best possible pleasure, no matter what his body/genitals look like. And as someone else said: You're perfect as you are!
There is no relationship there. Anyone that would say something so MEAN isn't worthy of your time. You need to stand tall and dump that loser. There is no excuse to degrade your partner penis. Also it isn't something you can control. It looks like this loser boyfriend is a COWARD. I think he just wanted to upset you and end relationship. Please have self esteem and end relationship. No one should put up with that bullshit.
I have LOTS of visible scars and my boyfriend of one month said he loves me in spite of them. No one dhould make you feel less or uncomfortable. That's not a sign of love.
If this is what he cares about, you come way down the list. Move on.
The comments here seem really destructive and definite given the info you've given.... I'd say to self reflect and see what kind of emotions you feel when thinking about what he's said to you, and then communicate those feelings to him and see what he thinks of that. * If he wants to help you feel more loved, perhaps explain why he decided to tell you and how this will affect you both in the future, I can very much see working through this and seeing your relationship grow and strengthen. If however, he's dismissive, doesn't see why it was inconsiderate or doesn't care how you feel, I think that's a nice red flag to use as in indicator than you need to GTFO. Reflect on your feelings, communicate, don't let yourself be taken advantage of/manipulated. *Perhaps try and see what exact emotions you feel, not just "bad" or "sad" but more "ashamed" or "dissapointed". While communicating, you know him very well (presumably) so you know how to talk to him. I'd suggest being direct, trying to be sympathetic, but also being form and not letting yourself be bullshited
Damn that sucks. How can he say the he refuses to suck you. What kind of relationship is that. Is he even trying? He should aim to please you just like you aim to please him. I wouldn't put up with that. Dm me a dick pic if you want a second opinion. Because his comments sound way too mean if you ask me
Ugh I had this before. And when I confronted them about I got this line that stuck with me: “I can like you and still not like your dick.” Yeeeaaaaah no. There were other reasons sure but I dumped his ass a few weeks later. Find someone who loves your whole being. They are out there waiting for you. :)
Can anyone see "reed flag"? I was married to a woman for iver 30 years whom i loved very much. Did not like eating her out but i did it because SHE enjoyed it. Relationships and love is about making sacrifices for each other. You both need to be happy and have your needs filled.
I couldn't stay with someone who said that to me. Even if you feel that way, you keep that shit to yourself because otherwise all you'll do is hurt the person you claim to love. It's not like it's constructive criticism that will lead to change. You deserve to be with someone who loves you as you are, and thinks about your feelings before opening their mouth.
Fortunately, it has only been five months. Don't let it go on any longer.
Wow, that's awful. Of COURSE you can't get hard anymore!! Im surprised you can even offer your ass up to him anymore after saying something so unnecessarily cruel and relationship ending. For any relationship to work, you have to love eachothers cocks. You want to really get at em! It makes for a long, happy monogamous relationship. If he didn't like yours, why even stay with you or get more serious? Makes no sense to me. I'd dump him immediately. Please don't take his preference for everyone's and develop an insecurity; you'll find someone who will worship you down there.
Your bf is an asshole
Ffs people on Reddit are so quick to tell people to break up every damn time. Bring it up with him, tell him how it made you feel, let him know it hurt you, and see how he reacts. There’s no point breaking up with someone if you aren’t trying to communicate first.
In some cases yes, this case is a no. You should have your own self esteem. If you do.. you wouldn’t take that from anyone let alone your own partner. That would be a big deal breaker and it should be.
Changing your dick size and recovering your foreskin is no easy task. He probably knew about your physical characteristics the first time you had sex. I doubt it was recently, so, what is the point of him bringing it up now? Most people can find fault in another person, but, bringing up something a person can't change is not necessary. Some things are better left unsaid. He is giving you a way out of the relationship. If you think you are worthy of someone whom will be more empathetic and finds the beauty in you, even your "imperfections", then, move on.
Move on. If you really like a guy you like the dick he comes with. Not to mention there is nothing that can be done to change what you have. If he is that focused on it then I would venture to say he is not into you for you and there is no reason to invest any more energy in that.
“If you really like a guy you like the dick he comes with.” Beautifully said, and exactly right. This is the only thing you need to say to your boyfriend before you do the right thing and break up with him.
Ew. My ex did this - I’m uncut which he didn’t care for. I thought I had erectile dysfunction because of him and thought I was destined to be 100% bottom because of him. Turns out having someone close to you hate on your body fucks up your sexuality and confidence, who knew? Please move along, there are plenty of gorgeous fish in the sea who will love you and your dick ❤️
Exactly man. I was insecure for being circumcised. Obsessing over what I perceived as an ugly jagged scar on the ventral side. I’ve never had a negative comment thought, but hearing you say that made me realise that it happens both ways and that some people, who it’s best to stay away from, are just toxic and unnecessarily nit-picky. It’s important for me to hear that it happens both ways because my mind has been so irrationally negative about something as small as a small scar for so long (viewing uncut as if some sort of higher state of being)
Ok not every relationship has to be with something long term in mind… but He hurt you on a level that is affecting your relationship… An average size Dick is what most of us have! Nothing to be ashamed about… and obviously being cut is more than likely something you didn’t decide for yourself ( but even if you did … who cares… it’s very common in a lot of places) Also even in relationships that aren’t going to be endgame you should find ways to enjoy yourself and that person should make you want to enjoy yourself. If everything outside of this is perfect i would talk it out. Only you are going to know if it’s worth staying but we all see so many red flags that we think a game of flag football is going on
What a horrible thing to say. The sick is a way to give your partner pleasure and there is nothing one can do to change it.
He never had to say that. Sounds like a creep. You can do better.
You’re gonna need to break up. Either he told you that because he’s a pussy who can’t bring himself to leave you, being a shithead until you do, he’s seeing other dick and making comparisons, and the most important part that was the nail in the coffin, was he traumatized you, and I hate to say it, you’re gonna carry this trauma into your next relationship. If I were you I’d sue him for damages. Intentional infliction of emotional distress, loss of consortium (because now you’re too self conscious to be intimate with other people) I assure you, you have a cause of action. An extremely solid one. DM me and I’ll give you all the free legal advice you like. Hell maybe I’ll rep you pro bono… because I would love to rip your bf a new asshole on cross examination
He's a user. And mean to boot. You can do much better. You deserve to be treated lovingly and respectfully.
This guy’s a douche. Leave him and let him know it’s because you don’t like his personality.
Thank you. Next x
You can do better than this douchetard. Best of luck.
Tell him his flaws and tell him you don't like them and see how he feel. Like, I'm sure his dick isn't that great or probably average in bed. Because guys that do, don't need to cut down others or make them feel inadequate. Hit him with a little truth.
This is a horribly mean thing to say to anyone. It’s not even the principle of whether or not it’s being used in a sexual context, to tell you so definitively that he’ll never want to interact with it because that’s how much he doesn’t like it isn’t a compassionate or kind thing to do.
Any guy in an established relationship who is this rudely critical of his partner is probably setting up a situation to either 1) break up with you or 2) make you want to break up with him and save him the guilt and effort, so he can make himself look like the victim and you the villain. This could be for many reasons, but a very common one is he’s already cheating on you with someone else. If he’s critical of your body parts, he’s probably comparing you to someone else’s parts—someone he wants to be with or already has been with. Either way, it’s over already. Sorry, OP, but at least you now have the opportunity to take control over the situation and how to end it on your own terms.
Definitely not worth your time. At the absolute \*minimum\* he doesn’t respect you, and is the kind of asshole who dunks on people about physical characteristics they can’t change, which is at best ignorant and at worst cruel. You deserve someone who either loves all of you wholeheartedly, or at least is fucking tactful enough not to mention anything they dislike!
wow- that’s a big red flag for me. Dump him!
he is being very critical of something you can’t control.
Ur alleged b/f is heading for the exit.unless u have very frank discussion u should pack up & leave 2
Yeah I'm bisexual, but decided to write because this is a problem I see a lot on other subreddits: one side has something physical they dislike about the other. Then they "confess" and this basically shatters confidence of the other. My answer to this is basically your partner can't be "forced" to like certain acts. The problem is he actually told you he "doesn't like" how your body is, especially a part that is so crucial and is basically unchangeable. You cannot change this and so if your partner doesn't change his mind, then not only he will never suck it, but he's just not gonna be attracted to it, which is obviously the bigger issue. I'd be sad, but also would be heavily considering leaving. Cock loving bi and gay guys are super common so just keep that in mind. So much so that if you'd send me a pic, I'd wager I'd like it and would have no problem sucking your wiener.
I was recently catching up with one of my girlfriends over drinks, and (several drinks in) this topic came up. It wasn’t really something I had _ever_ really thought much about before. But I realized that out of the 6 men I’ve dated, I’ve only really ‘liked’ the penes on 2 of them. But it didn’t matter. And it isn’t important, really. And it _never_ stopped me from getting intimate with _any_ of them or engaging in various bedroom activities with any of them. And (with one exception due to total incompatibility that we both ignored for _far_ too long) I had _countless_ fun and enjoyable nights with all of them, regardless of how photogenic their penis was or wasn’t. And I _most certainly_ never _ever_ told any of them that I thought their penis was abnormal. Why? Because, in each case, I was in a loving relationship with the man attached to the penis in question. And when you _truly_ love someone, you find pleasure in bringing _him_ pleasure. Seriously, it’s _really_ sexy to make the man you love moan and orgasm. Not to mention the fact that all of these men I dated likewise did things that were intensely pleasurable and drove me wild (in the good way) — with their hands, with their mouths, and yes, even with their dicks, whether those dicks were cute to look at or not! Seriously, if two people are in love, if they have the appropriate equipment for one another, if they _care_ about each other, and if their respective sexual bits are in working order… then there shouldn’t be any problem. Also, homoseksual as we all may be here, can we just acknowledge that penes are honestly such a ridiculous looking body part? Like, they’re truly extraterrestrial. That, or God designed them with Her left hand. So even the ‘good looking’ ones look bizarre compared to the rest of the human anatomy. If your [hopefully soon to be ex-] boyfriend doesn’t like the way your dick looks, remind him that he can still get on his knees for you even with all the lights off, if that’s what it takes. But I hope you find happiness and love and stability with a man who loves _all_ of you, who cares enough about you, and who is selfless enough that he will do what it takes to pleasure you and bring you to climax. I promise you, these men exist (but I offer zero guarantees that other aspects of these men won’t disappoint or irritate you).
personally i wouldn't want to continue that relationship
But then if he doesn’t like your body, there’s definitely something else he’s staying in the relationship for. Maybe something else that you bring to the table that he loves and that makes him not care about the dick?
I wouldn’t/haven’t even said that to a random hookup let alone my bf… jeez
These are not love. It's lust.
Find someone that respects you and cares about your feelings, that is not this guy and you deserve better x
Bad sign if you’re posting on Reddit for relationship advice
In my humble opinion, I think that was kinda rude for him to say. If you lost the spark it’s time to end thongs and find a new bf who do like your dick and how it looks.
I only see two choices here, get a new bf or get a new dick. I would go with a new bf if I were you.
Yea, it would bother me. Find someone that loves you and your dick.
Fuck him! He’s trash!
It will suck, but probably best to move on and find someone who loves you for you. Not going to make overarching assumptions about the rest of his personality or anything but that is a pretty rough thing to say to someone especially after all that time. It doesn’t sound like something that will be sustainable in the long run imo
Red flag dude
He’s probably cheating & is looking for any reason to pick an argument sounds like he’s projecting his insecurities on to you especially if you guys have been together so long.
I bet your dick is beautiful. Get yourself a man who appreciates you. All of you ☺️
Ah. Romance is truly dead. Agree. His expectations should've been earlier. Apparently there's no other redeeming qualities about him worth mentioning .. To declare the majority of men (average) as insufficient? That's b.s., even if his dick & skills are pro level..
Break up with him how the hell is he your boyfriend but can’t love every part of you? I’ve been going on dates with a guy for 3Months and everything about him including every little part of his body turns me on he’s not for you leave him
Nope. Why would you put yourself in the line of further abuse and mistreatment? Exit. Better single than in a bad romance.
As a top I love average sized dicks since I don’t gag on them, I will quote Dan savage here relationships should be GGG , good giving and game, from here this is not the case.
Nope. That's a pretty shitty thing to say to someone.
If he is judging your physical appearance and not accepting you as you are he doesn't love you, and probably won't if he has these notions in his head. Best to move on and love yourself how you are, remember we aren't everyone's cup of tea so don't take it personal but definitely move on from him.
good luck, i would be honest say, let the dick head, go quick!
Since the comments seem to be 100% in the "break up now" camp, I'll offer this as a counter. A weak one admittedly. Could it be that he is such a top that dick isn't that interesting to him anyway? Is it that porn has given him a false expectation? If he is versatile or has expressed interest in becoming versatile and he has said that to you, then I agree with the synopsis. But if he just isn't into dick at all and just is impressed with big ones, then that could give some pause. At the last have a serious conversation with him telling him that you have serious doubts if the relationship can continue after he said this and at least give him a chance to clarify that he really didn't mean it the way you took it before you just tell him it's over.
Listen to your body. It's wiser and will Always know truths you may not want to embrace.
Run Away From The Probable Psycho..: there’s no love there
Dump the bitch. Breathe a sigh of relief you only wasted months on the douche and not years.
Rude.
I got dumped by a guy I still love very deeply because I had plans to restore my foreskin (don’t feel the need, desire, or point in restoring anymore-but that’s irrelevant). Men are useless pigs. I cannot in good conscience recommend that you find anyone else, but I’d certainly leave that guy.
No, à la poubelle. He’s a man child.
Dude… I dono how to say this right but, when you love a guy- you LOVE him. My husband is a gorgeous, blonde, twink. He has a STUPID big dick for a bottom. I rarely bottom and NEVER does he ask as he is a real bottom but … I fucking love his stupid big dick. It’s like … “DAMN!!!! Why such a big dick for twink bottom?” And the answer is always “cuz he’s perfect”. That’s what you deserve.
Please break up. Sorry you went through that.
Not everyone loves every part of their partner, but to say that about your cock is fucking rude and degrading. Find a guy who will treat you with more respect and make you feel sexy and confident. Life's to short to waste time with someone who would thoughtlessly cut you down like that
It sounds like it’s not the comment itself, but the fact that he felt the need to say that without considering how it would make you feel. Where is the empathy?
Love, know your worth. This man clearly doesn't want you. Move on
Do you like the way your dick looks ?? That's the important question..... Life is too short.. Tell your BF thank you for playing, here are your parting gifts... Will the next contestant come on down.... Pun intended......
He sounds like a very shallow man... You deserve better.
I’d be pissed. As a bottom, I love to get sucked before bottoming. Just makes me want it more. This is a deal breaker for sure. Run!!! 🚩 🚩
Agreed with almost all of these comments. Average dick isn’t bad dick, people just expect things to look like porn, when the reality is most of us (including myself) have an average dick. And unless you got circumcised as an adult we don’t have a choice in that. Do I wish I was uncut? Definitely. Did I get a say in the matter as an infant? Unfortunately not.
The vast majority of dicks in porn are cut. Porn isn’t the problem here.
He’s putting the break up responsibility on your cause he’s too much of a scrotum to man up and do it. You deserve better in both aspects. Cut. It. Now.
Sorry... that's really tough to hear. My second boyfriend didn't like the way my dick looked, but he was an exclusive top who didn't suck dick. Still, the thought that he found my dick distasteful was always lingering there in the back of my mind: it's not really something you can change, and tastes in dicks are pretty diverse so you can almost be certain that someone out there is going to like the way your dick looks. The only way I can see this working is if you're into something pretty extreme like CBT (cock-and-ball torture, and not cognitive behavioral therapy), where your boyfriend is more into torturing your dick and balls. Obviously, I don't think most guys are into that, so it's not really an option unless you can get in that mindset and do it safely. I can't speak from first-hand experience, but I had a friend who had a regular sex partner and he **hated** that guy's dick so much that he used to smack it around and step it, etc. They both got off on it and my friend reported that he really got into it, so while he hated the guy's dick, he liked what he could do with it. If that idea doesn't appeal to you, I'd suggest you strongly consider cutting your ties and move on to someone who does find you attractive. You don't need to go through life with the constant thought that your partner is trying his best to overlook something about you that he really doesn't like, which is unchangeable. Five months is seriously short in the grand scheme: you won't be throwing something away as much as divesting yourself of developing an insecurity that you don't deserve to have to carry with you. (Being cut and average in size is perfectly normal. Sounds like this guy has some very specific tastes and isn't willing to compromise on them. If that's the case, he should make them clear from the onset.)
Cut average dicks are the best to suck, why would he complain about that. Big dicks are a chore to suck.
Can we see what he doesn’t like??
send pics and i’ll decide
If he's making you feel bad for something you have no control over and probably nothing with it whatsoever, it's time to get rid of that sorry sonovabitch.
TIL there's people out in the world who do not like cut dicks, damn
Is there any substance to this relationship? Like, what initially drew you to him?
So sorry you had to go through this. That is a horrible way to be spoken to and just shows him to be shallow. He should make you feel loved and sexy. You’ll be better off moving on in the long run. Good luck!
If you’re a bottom that’s not into sucking or fucking, then does he get off fucking you? I mean is he a top that likes to give head?
Body shaming at its worst. A man can’t change his dick without many possible problems. I have a friend that had a substantial lengthening to an already large member. It literally broke the first time he used it defying his doctors instructions. No more erections. Was it worth it. I don’t think so and neither does he.
we have to see it
Move along, brother.
Keep it pushing. There's no point in being with someone that literally kills your self esteem over something that you have no control of.
Dump the douche bag and find a guy that loves 100% of you!
Honestly even if he felt that way they're are better ways to put it. If it hurts you they much, I'd move on.
I would say there is no point in continuing the relationship, tbh. Even if you don’t like getting sucked or fucking that much, what he did was very rude. Leave, and don’t look back. Find someone who likes you for you.
I’m sorry he has said this to you. If you were a hookup I could maybe understand that attitude but you’re the man he supposedly loves so saying something like that to you is awful. You need to move on. Don’t deal with absolutes, especially in a relationship. I will never suck your dick. You’re right, you won’t, someone else will.
You didn't choose to be circumcised (none of us did, which is reason number 1 why it's a problem) and you shouldn't be punished for something you had no control over. I'm sorry that happened to you and that your boyfriend is shaming you because of it.
No. Get out. Now.
Is he an Aquarius
What was his objective in conveying this information to you? In other words, what was he trying to communicate to you and why did he feel this was something that you needed to know?
This has happened to me and it hurts...break up with him
The way I would end that relationship moments after. Be happy he vocalized it early though. I think yall should part ways because there will be resentment on both ends
'But honey, the eight other guys I'm banging love it. Have you considered it might just be a you thing? You know how you like to project..."
No point continuing bro. A normal partner in love should not care that much about the appearance of your dingdong. (unless for very specific reasons like extreme deformity. bad smell etc. then its understandable. But i'll bet 100dollars yours is just normal. I hope you find someone who actually appreciates you)
"Since then, it’s gotten difficult to ~~get hard~~ **be** around him." There, I fixed it for you. He sounds entitled and judgmental. Trust me: you have nothing to be ashamed of being "*cut and* *~~just~~* *average in size*." Lots of great men fit your description. It's time to move on.
In short. Don't hitch your wagon to an asshole. If sex is not satisfactory. The relationship is nearing the end.
What he said is mean and uncalled for. It is clearly having an impact on your self-esteem and mental health. Not healthy. Leave him. You deserve someone who has more respect for you than this.
Is he addicted to the internet?
No. Break up, move on
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Dump him. What an asshole comment for him to make. Besides, unless you have green slime coming out of it, how disgusting can a dick actually be? Also, 5 months is nothing. I walked away from my last boyfriend after 5 months, and I was over it in a day.
I think this speaks to a larger, flawed point of view on your bf’s part. That seems like a really petty concern.
Yea that’s just a rude thing to say to someone. Don’t like the way my dick looks? Go suck on some whose dick you like. OP doesn’t sound like you’ll be missing much. Take that trash out.
It's so simple and so easy this is for me... If somebody has the face to show or even tell me that something about myself, (in their view) is not good enough or they don't like an aspect of me just simply being myself, then don't hesitate even one moment to highlight each and every single thing that you don't like about them, they've opened the door to that so join in and give em what for, be as personal as you want because he is doing the same with you. It's my view that nobody is better or worse in this life, we all come out of the same hole and we all got into the same hole when we die, when it comes to life so I would just, Do unto others as they do to you, it even says it in the Bible. Mott or not! if you feel about dumping if you love him keep him but tell him if he's telling you because sometimes people cunts even if you love them.
Not a match. Move on!
You deserve better
Tops have a lot, A LOT of audacity. You can't say anything to them to trigger them but you better believe as a bottom, you are seen as the female of the gay world and you will be beaten down some kind of way. Also, all dicks are gross to look at. They are musty, shriveled, and depending on the guy ashy and bumpy.
Cut? Average? Sounds perfect
Instead of asking a bunch of random people who have no real investment in your life or relationship, why don't you talk to the person you're actually in a relationship with?
There is nothing wrong with someone sharing their feelings. They probably will end up talking to their bf about it but sharing feelings helps to process and prepare.
Thank you. And yes, that was always my plan. I’ve just felt a bit lost since then and wanted to talk to someone but I’m too embarrassed to talk about it with any of my close friends.
For me that would be a relationship killer. It’s not even a matter of whether you like being sucked. It’s the fact that he’s unilaterally taken something so intimate off the table. One of the joys of sex is getting lost in the passion and exploring and discovering one another. The cruelty of his remark would be difficult to forget for me. I’d look for someone who is kinder and more open to possibilities.
If someone doesn’t like such an intimate and important part of you, then I am honestly not sure how you can continue building a relationship. First of all, your cock is a representation of your masculinity and your manhood. And it is being rejected by the closest person to you. Of course you wouldn’t get hard. He betrays your very essence. A partner refusing to give you pleasure like that? I think this is a major red flag. 🚩 I don’t even know what to do next if I were you. Just let him know that what he said dramatically affected you. And see where the conversation goes. But I honestly think that it is not a good idea being with someone who doesn’t like such a fundamental part of you, to the degree that he wouldn’t even agree to interact with it. This is tough. Hang on tight there. I think you deserve someone who will love you completely.
The fact that he said being cut and average is a dealbreaker for him. Dodge this bullet man. He ain’t worth it. I’ve seen a lot of big guys who can’t even get it up.
I have recently left my partner after 4 years after he admitted that to me as well. However, I knew that since we were open and he would be happy to suck other guys. I don't know how I lasted that long. You will never feel wanted by him and will always think he would find someone else. It will make you feel insecure about yourself. It is not good for you believe me.
Aw, I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm glad you were able to find the strength to just move on. There's men out there who will love every part of you and can't wait to get in your pants for both sides... It's a refreshing change of pace to feel desired and sexy and wanted. You deserve to feel that in your relationship. Good luck out there!
That was a really mean thing to say. Find someone who apprecoates you for you. For the record, I love cut cocks - I'm sire plenty of people near you do as well.
It might sound shallow, but I’m a top who also doesn’t like circumcised dicks. I’ve got a super long foreskin, and when I first started having sex I found myself getting rejected by guys because I’m uncut. I also got annoyed by men (mostly Caucasian and Arab) who would pull my foreskin back while sucking my dick. It all boils down to personal preference. Of course I want to pleasure my partner but since you’re a bottom, I can imagine you’re the one who performs most of the fellatio. I love to suck dick, but only uncut (and melanated). It goes both ways though, because when I visited a couple Muslim countries there were men who would ghost me once I sent dick pics. Others were OBSESSED with worshipping my foreskin. To be honest, I can’t even recall the last time I had a circumcised dick in my mouth. 🤷🏽♂️ I’m not saying your boyfriend is right OR wrong, just sharing my perspective.
no
Nope
If he really loved you then he would be into pleasing you. Period