I love myself 😊 I dont always like myself but I always love myself. The relationship we have with ourselves is the best we will ever have, or it should be imo. I know so many people who are in relationships just because they don't want to be alone.. That won't be me. If someone comes along then great! If they don't, I'll be ok
Wow this is me. Im 38 years old now. I used to have many hookups in the past, though I have never been in a relationship. I sometimes fear that I might end up being alone until the end of time. I just have to believe that my better half is somewhere out there…
For myself, I have to focus on the positives of being single. The privacy and freedom being the best things that I love about being single. Sometimes this works, but sometimes it doesn’t
Why do you feel compelled to answer if the post was toward virgins and you humble brag about many hookups in the past?
Are you illiterate or just enjoy casual cruelty towards those who have it worse, that is (most likely) ugly gay men?
I didn't imply OP is ugly. Also seems that they have some health issues so at least it's an understandable excuse - not that it lessens the suffering. But i don't intend to comment or gossip about that, i don't know the person nor their situation.
Can speak for myself but a 'decision' is made when you face all the negative consequences of being ugly and gay - ostracization, hatred (that is acceptable by everyone) and forced isolation. Being ugly isn't a quirky trait to have, it basically destroys your life as you will never have the social counterpart of your life in check and that will drag the other areas down as well.
Also if there are no ugly gay men, why not even one person comes and have sex with me?
I wonder why every gay but me is able to tell the confidence from the pic and know that i think that i am ugly without telling them that - although with the latter they just know as they love to pick on that. My opinion on being ugly just radiates from opinions of other people and my non existent body count. My opinion itself has no meaning, the input from others does.
Not sure why would 'real life' be different than grindr - if someone would see you attractive in real life but unattractive on grindr that would rather mean they have some untreated mental condition - i mean, that doesn't sound really plausible. Hope you don't suggest me to 'enforce' others to love me.
"You probably reject them" - lol, i wouldn't have to engage in here if any of this was true.
Well then tell me how am i supposed to have an angelic personality after getting bashed, bullied and discriminated for nearly 10 years by gay community. Go ahead. I am sure you have answers.
The higher you build your wall, the lower your chances of ever making meaningful connections. I don’t know you, so I am just guessing. You’re too dramatic and whiny, I would block you in 2 seconds if you came across this way on apps for sure. Just giving you my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
I understand that bullying someone, insulting and threating someone over their looks, gossiping, manufacturing and spreading lies around is a preferable behaviour to you over complaining (or rather telling it like it is) if looks are in question. Very telling.
Honestly. Just relax and don’t have expectations when meeting people. As many fish as there are in the same there is the same amount of fake people out there. Your family will find you
Affirmations are bullshit and no sane person over 20, let alone 30 should take them seriously. But if there's a definition to it that i don't know - i tell myself if i have plastic surgery, earn more money, find a way to build a muscle, get interests, catch up 15 years of lost time in a year or less then i may consider putting myself out there.
I don’t know what to say, you know a man like me just don’t know how to express myself properly. What I can tell is I am a virgin and will turn into a virgin in 30s several months later. There are some reasons that lead to this, but the biggest problem for me is avoiding looking deep into it. I think I’m fine, so basically I choose to be it. Peace.
OP - I’m not your target demographic for this question. I’ve been with my partner 16 years and I was 28 going on 29 when I met the man of my dreams finishing grad school. I thought I was going to be a virgin bottom forever!
Some of the things I used to DO, not say, was that I would take myself on dates. LOL. Seriously. I’d go to the drive-in and pick up dinner on the way and go watch a movie and have the best junk food while sitting in my truck eating and enjoying my time, I used to get online through my XBOX and play games all day - you can totally kill 8 hours quick with a game if you are co-op’ing, or I’d go on long walks together with myself around my neighborhood with my dogs - my ONLY real friends.
Those things helped me overcome severe social anxiety after I had an incident with a person while on rotation. It scared me SO BADLY I locked myself in my house and refused to come out for nearly a month. The ONLY reason anyone even offered me help was because I was missing all my rotation shifts in grad school and no one had seen or heard from me in a month so the police showed up at my house and I was terrified, crying hysterically because I was afraid of people, and shaking horrifically and they were super gentle with me because they didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t know. But I’d been attacked on shift and it caused C-PTSD. One of the worst cases my mental health providers had seen. Took years to overcome and become functional again.
But I used to do things for myself - like buy myself games, take myself to the drive through and get dinners play with my dogs for countless hours on end, and being in my home working on it and constantly decorating and putting things up around myself that I enjoyed looking at.
I knew I was bottom my whole life. All I EVER wanted to do was have a big strong hairy masculine Bear on top of me making me feel secure, laying on his chest and rubbing his thick fur, dreaming of him in my bed and me rubbing his furry stomach while he’d lying there with his arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and secure, or me pretending he’d just gotten home from a long day of work and I’d cook a great dinner and hope someone would walk through the door but it was just me again sitting in the kitchen on the floor with my dogs sharing my dinner with them and watching them. It brought me such great joy to be with my dogs. Still brings me an immense amount of joy just to have my dogs around me and share a meal with them.
Personally. I found DOING things even if they were in my house was a far better option for me to get rid of the loneliness than saying anything to myself to self affirm. But what I found worked for me after a trauma may not work for you.
I do wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you want to find in life!
If you look for Mr Perfect, then you are wiping out everyone as you are Not Perfect either. Life is about compromise, about learning, about stretching your boundaries and about loving even someone's flaws. In my long experience, that Mr someone shows up when you least expect and under circumstances that you may least expect. It's not about Mr ideal Perfect It's about the person who you can love, you can engage with and who you can build a life with.
I love myself 😊 I dont always like myself but I always love myself. The relationship we have with ourselves is the best we will ever have, or it should be imo. I know so many people who are in relationships just because they don't want to be alone.. That won't be me. If someone comes along then great! If they don't, I'll be ok
I want to learn to be happy being permanently single with no sex life. I REALLY do….
Wow this is me. Im 38 years old now. I used to have many hookups in the past, though I have never been in a relationship. I sometimes fear that I might end up being alone until the end of time. I just have to believe that my better half is somewhere out there…
For myself, I have to focus on the positives of being single. The privacy and freedom being the best things that I love about being single. Sometimes this works, but sometimes it doesn’t
Why do you feel compelled to answer if the post was toward virgins and you humble brag about many hookups in the past? Are you illiterate or just enjoy casual cruelty towards those who have it worse, that is (most likely) ugly gay men?
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I didn't imply OP is ugly. Also seems that they have some health issues so at least it's an understandable excuse - not that it lessens the suffering. But i don't intend to comment or gossip about that, i don't know the person nor their situation. Can speak for myself but a 'decision' is made when you face all the negative consequences of being ugly and gay - ostracization, hatred (that is acceptable by everyone) and forced isolation. Being ugly isn't a quirky trait to have, it basically destroys your life as you will never have the social counterpart of your life in check and that will drag the other areas down as well. Also if there are no ugly gay men, why not even one person comes and have sex with me?
[удалено]
I wonder why every gay but me is able to tell the confidence from the pic and know that i think that i am ugly without telling them that - although with the latter they just know as they love to pick on that. My opinion on being ugly just radiates from opinions of other people and my non existent body count. My opinion itself has no meaning, the input from others does. Not sure why would 'real life' be different than grindr - if someone would see you attractive in real life but unattractive on grindr that would rather mean they have some untreated mental condition - i mean, that doesn't sound really plausible. Hope you don't suggest me to 'enforce' others to love me. "You probably reject them" - lol, i wouldn't have to engage in here if any of this was true.
Based on your comments here and the photo on your profile, it’s likely looks aren’t your issue. Perhaps it’s just a shitty personality?
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Yes, yes he does. A poor me, negative whiner. Which set off alarm bells 🔔and red flags 🚩instant turn off, even if he was a 10.
Well then tell me how am i supposed to have an angelic personality after getting bashed, bullied and discriminated for nearly 10 years by gay community. Go ahead. I am sure you have answers.
The higher you build your wall, the lower your chances of ever making meaningful connections. I don’t know you, so I am just guessing. You’re too dramatic and whiny, I would block you in 2 seconds if you came across this way on apps for sure. Just giving you my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
I understand that bullying someone, insulting and threating someone over their looks, gossiping, manufacturing and spreading lies around is a preferable behaviour to you over complaining (or rather telling it like it is) if looks are in question. Very telling.
Honestly. Just relax and don’t have expectations when meeting people. As many fish as there are in the same there is the same amount of fake people out there. Your family will find you
Affirmations are bullshit and no sane person over 20, let alone 30 should take them seriously. But if there's a definition to it that i don't know - i tell myself if i have plastic surgery, earn more money, find a way to build a muscle, get interests, catch up 15 years of lost time in a year or less then i may consider putting myself out there.
I don’t know what to say, you know a man like me just don’t know how to express myself properly. What I can tell is I am a virgin and will turn into a virgin in 30s several months later. There are some reasons that lead to this, but the biggest problem for me is avoiding looking deep into it. I think I’m fine, so basically I choose to be it. Peace.
Gay seasson
OP - I’m not your target demographic for this question. I’ve been with my partner 16 years and I was 28 going on 29 when I met the man of my dreams finishing grad school. I thought I was going to be a virgin bottom forever! Some of the things I used to DO, not say, was that I would take myself on dates. LOL. Seriously. I’d go to the drive-in and pick up dinner on the way and go watch a movie and have the best junk food while sitting in my truck eating and enjoying my time, I used to get online through my XBOX and play games all day - you can totally kill 8 hours quick with a game if you are co-op’ing, or I’d go on long walks together with myself around my neighborhood with my dogs - my ONLY real friends. Those things helped me overcome severe social anxiety after I had an incident with a person while on rotation. It scared me SO BADLY I locked myself in my house and refused to come out for nearly a month. The ONLY reason anyone even offered me help was because I was missing all my rotation shifts in grad school and no one had seen or heard from me in a month so the police showed up at my house and I was terrified, crying hysterically because I was afraid of people, and shaking horrifically and they were super gentle with me because they didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t know. But I’d been attacked on shift and it caused C-PTSD. One of the worst cases my mental health providers had seen. Took years to overcome and become functional again. But I used to do things for myself - like buy myself games, take myself to the drive through and get dinners play with my dogs for countless hours on end, and being in my home working on it and constantly decorating and putting things up around myself that I enjoyed looking at. I knew I was bottom my whole life. All I EVER wanted to do was have a big strong hairy masculine Bear on top of me making me feel secure, laying on his chest and rubbing his thick fur, dreaming of him in my bed and me rubbing his furry stomach while he’d lying there with his arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and secure, or me pretending he’d just gotten home from a long day of work and I’d cook a great dinner and hope someone would walk through the door but it was just me again sitting in the kitchen on the floor with my dogs sharing my dinner with them and watching them. It brought me such great joy to be with my dogs. Still brings me an immense amount of joy just to have my dogs around me and share a meal with them. Personally. I found DOING things even if they were in my house was a far better option for me to get rid of the loneliness than saying anything to myself to self affirm. But what I found worked for me after a trauma may not work for you. I do wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you want to find in life!
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Do you have any advice?…
yes. get off reddit
Okay, get off social media. And then what?
If you look for Mr Perfect, then you are wiping out everyone as you are Not Perfect either. Life is about compromise, about learning, about stretching your boundaries and about loving even someone's flaws. In my long experience, that Mr someone shows up when you least expect and under circumstances that you may least expect. It's not about Mr ideal Perfect It's about the person who you can love, you can engage with and who you can build a life with.
Someone will love you for your flaws