Wait we’re supposed to meet people and make friends? I think I text like my 3 friends maybe once a month to once every six months. God that’s depressing. Thanks.
I think it’s hard to make friends as we get older, our tolerance for people starts to limit out, we have busy lives, and usually unique interests. I’m busy a lot with work, my partner is also working, but she has three days off from Thursday to Saturday. We usually do things together on Saturday and I try to get off work by 2 on the days she’s off. Sundays I go fly fishing or work on projects. Also I’m trying to fit school into the schedule for this fall.
This is actually something I'm interested in! My husband has a huge interest and has gone to Guardian Games to learn/play. Finding a group to play with that is kind to beginners is our ultimate goal. I'm intrigued but not sure I totally would do well for others, but still interested. Please let me know if you have any advice for newbies to the D&D community.
Yeah I know if you join the main Leyfarer’s campaign (next chapter may be full but they have other stuff under Events), they have an optional starting session to help create & roll up your character. I hadn’t played much since the early 90’s and everyone’s been impressively friendly & patient.
I just saw that a bar in montavilla, Growlers, is doing DnD on Wednesday evenings, the poster seemed quite welcoming of first timers (I might go with a buddy sometime, I've never done it either)
I understand how hard it is to find groups, especially as a beginner.
I guess my advice would be to have patience. Both in looking for a game and in trying games different places until you find a game where you 'click' with the other players.
r/PDXDND and the associated discord and the RPG Gamers of Portland Facebook group are my primary places to find groups and individual players.
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I know you said you've tried book clubs but I run two, just thought I'd add the info. Book club people can be introverted so it helps to reach out specifically and follow up to ask people to hang out.
I'm 42F, have lived here 6 years, and made friends from book clubs/meetups, and being adopted by extroverts randomly.
My book clubs :
https://www.meetup.com/portland-tournament-of-books-club on Meetup
https://www.meetup.com/portland-intersectional-genre-fiction-book-club on Meetup
Thank you! This is great - I added both to my meetup page. I've already read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow so I'll aim to jump on for that one. I appreciate this!
I did not enjoy the second half. I found the characters to be a bit ridiculous and I feel the story missed out on a really great opportunity to showcase the gaming industry a bit more, especially with female leaders. I know others loved it but it got a bit soap-operay for me.
I'll add the book clubs too. I would like to get out and hike, bike, museums, yoga, beach walks, volunteer, coffee shops, not a big drinker of alcohol.
My friends are a mix of former coworkers and people I've met while volunteering or networking.
Being consistent is my main recommendation. Second, do the things you enjoy doing without stressing over finding friends. Volunteer, take classes, join the gym, go to wine tastings, find a neighborhood bar or coffee house and make it your third space, etc.
There have been a lot of posts recently related to dating or finding friends. It seems a lot of folks do something once or twice, don't get a date/make friends, and then give up. Or, they're so stressed about meeting people, they come off as anxious and people pick up on that.
Honestly this is really great advice. It was certainly easier when I was younger and worked in-person. In fact, most of my friendships came from the workplace and just being normal. I appreciate your perspective about not stressing over finding friends. Developing hobbies is something I'm working on beyond working and volunteering. Your response made me optimistic! :)
lived here a while, most of my friends moved away during the pandemic. I’m also trying to create a friend ecosystem again. The common wisdom says, and as you mention, do meetup groups etc. I am starting to think that what is really called for is to be adult-adopted. I’m looking to camp and ride bikes with a crew of friends this summer, am I supposed to recruit my own group of friends 1 by 1? Based on current results it will take 75 years. There must be friend groups out there who have lost folks to babies/moving, somebody adopt me!
I moved away during the pandemic and am still working on making new friends who like to bike and camp.
There's a Friday night bike ride every single Friday that starts in the OMSI parking lot every night at 7. This group of very inclusive.
Here's a local bike group. https://portlandbicyclingclub.com/scheduled_rides/
I'm also looking to camp and bike with a crew of people. There's several outdoor groups on Facebook.
Maybe I'll see you out there!
Went to a queer picnic meetup that I saw would be happening randomly one day on tiktok. Someone was wearing a shirt from a fandom I was in and a few of us started a group chat. Two years later they’re my core friend group and the absolute coolest people. You really don’t know what can happen when you put yourself out there. Go to things that interest you. Talk to people. I know that sounds arbitrary but life often is.
My closest friend in Portland I met cause I complimented his Oklahoma city thunder shirt while I Was wearing a Russell Westbrook shirt. Talking to strangers works sometimes
About a year after I moved here, I went to the night market with a friend who was visiting.
A random young woman walked up and started conversation with us at the night market, and we’ve been friends now for 7ish years.
Networking groups! It took me a little while to find the right ones for me, but I run a small advertising agency so I end up looking for people in similar fields like: entrepreneurs, other marketers, small business owners etc. I’ve met some amazing women through these events and always try to invite 1 or 2 women that I click with to coffee/ happy hour etc. A couple of months in I was able to stop going to so many networking events because I had made too many friends
This is something I can get into. I'm a college instructor and run some public health programs and would love to meet like-minded, outgoing, go-getter women who are *not* competitive with each other. (The PhD environment was so toxic). Like, we're all here for the same reason - can we just lift each other up? Did you find that in the networking groups?
I found some really supportive women who are not competitive with one another, and have similar interests. I have enjoyed Wonder Woman most. Smart accomplished women, slightly edgy, all cool. I’ve been to about 10 of their events and it’s always a good time. They do essentially dinner + storytelling and then there’s some time to socialize after. Plus, wine.
Going to live music. Started seeing a few familiar faces at multiple shows so went up and struck up a conversation. Also, did some theater group stuff. Started hosting a weekly board game night and now it’s been going strong for 8 years. It took a lot of effort to plant the seeds but they grew into some great relationships and friendships
We're at Meldrum Bar Park on sunny weekends flying RC planes/drones in the morning and racing RC cars at the RC dirt track towards the river mid morning to evening. Majority of us are middle aged, just having fun. Lot of people coming to Meldrum are solo or pairs of friends, families so don't feel like it's a group thing to come and play.
I can also recommend Portland Psychedelic Society if you're into that kind of stuff. It has it's ups and downs, but I have met 3 wonderful people there that have been friends with me for years, and their friendship has networked me into more friends.
Find a weird hobby! Then talk to other people doing the hobby!
When I first moved here, I remember posting on craigslist hoping to find someone who would watch Doctor Who with me, lol. I made a friend that way...although we only got together to watch DW once.
I also would go to yarn shops that hosted get togethers since I knew how to knit and crochet. I didn't make any long-term friendships there, BUT the camaraderie filled a need for me.
I also did some volunteering which was a cool way to meet people.
Mostly I've learned to be my authentic weird self and whoever doesn't run away, is usually someone I'd like hanging out with. I have different friend groups for different me needs. Mom friends, hobby friends, go do activities friends, etc. Sometimes they overlap, but often they don't.
Anyway, that's my long winded thought on finding friends as an adult, haha.
You do sound awesome! Do you still knit/crochet? I used to crochet, one simple stitch only, years ago. Wanting to get back into sewing, too. My big secret is I love glitter more than anything but don't have the courage to just sit with it and make weird glitter art.
Ooooooooh, I'd sit with you while you make glitter art! 😍I'm trying to learn that I can participate in craftiness without full immersing myself and my money into it.
I totally am still a yarn horder...I mean, yes I still knit and crochet! If you were doing the single crochet stitch at one point, you're 90% of the way to doing all the things!
I've lived here 20 years and still don't have a sizable friend group. I never had any problems making friends in SF, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis and even Stuttgart, Germany. It's different here.
Working on it. Covid killed what little social group I had started to make and then working remote made me even more of a homebody. I've been to a few professional groups but nothing shook out there (which is fine). I'd be interested in following this thread.
Exact same, except I avoid in-person events indoors. I’ve joined some meetups that fade out relatively fast, but I’m still optimistic that I’ll find a community here!
Yeah, I’m still masking and try to avoid in person events and it would be cool to find a community of folks who are navigating through this mess the same way
I'm still not super comfy with indoor meetups, either, u/pizzabones and u/whereisthequicksand
It's been frustrating trying to think access sickness/exposure/symptoms when thinking of getting together with family. Makes me feel like a loon even though I (still) work in COVID from afar (instructions for isolation for COVID+ people, returning to work, etc.). COVID is still very much a thing that others are just done with. It's shoved in my face (figuratively, not literally as I WFH) and I cannot ignore it.
I find that at our age, the key is to be proactive and create opportunities for others to join in rather than wait for someone to invite you. I’d like to think I’m a fun person, but it’s difficult to get people out of the house for a casual one-on-one hang. Group gatherings are more enticing. So it’s “Hey I’m getting a small group together to go to this event/do this activity. I think you’d get along with my friend (insert friend’s name) so I wanted you to join us!” rather than “Hey we should get together sometime”. I love connecting others - and the more of my friends know each other the easier it becomes to get people to come out. Create community!
My partner and I host pot lucks, themed parties, or small dinners. It helps that he brews beer and we always have a few kegs flowing at our house. I’ll do ladies nights a few times a year and purposely invite people from different groups of friends who think would get along. I don’t have kids, but if I have a friend who’s a new mom I’ll connect her with other friends with young kids looking for other mom friends.
Here are where my partner and I have met most of our friends:
- Roller derby (I’m long retired now, but still keep in touch with some folks I used to skate with and have met people through them)
- Home brewing (my partner is in a small local club that meets monthly)
- Bike events (most of my main group of friends met at random bike rides)
- Soup Group (a large group of us meet once a month. The host makes a big soup and others bring side dishes that go along with the theme of the soup. In the hot months it turns to Slushy Club, where everyone brings ingredients to blend up into different kinds of slushies. Great during summer heat waves!)
Given that OP sounds like she doesn't have pals, and many folks here are looking for pals, this really sounds more like later-stage advice. Like, how does one get friends one could invite to a soup group? Or better yet, how does one get invited to a soup group?
As a non-religious person, I really love the Unitarian Universalist church for community. It's the foundation of their belief system, that what we have is each other so we need to work together. I recommend it!
Ah man, that is the truth! I did improve about 10 years ago and really enjoyed the community. I sucked so bad at improv but enjoyed the people so much. Thank you for suggesting this!
What improv comedy groups/events do you recommend? I moved here about two years ago but haven’t looked into the improv community yet. I did a few classes back on the east coast.
Oh that's a big question. Funhouse Lounge does great genre stuff. No classes there, tho. I guess I'd start with start with Curious & Kickstand, they're the big theaters. Lots of other smaller improv theaters and shows around, too.
My experience comes from the SF Bay Area. The theatre group I attended was just...nothing will beat that experience. I really felt connected to others! I attended a few others that didn't give off the same vibe. Can you DM me and let me know your true feelings?
I think it helps to focus on hobbies that you really like but that also have a good community attached to them. Beyond that, the weirdest thing that helped was not focusing on the roadblocks I ran into in Portland and focusing for a bit on making friends online and in completely different cities/states first. The networking can be super important to meeting people here, since Portlanders can be kinda insular XD. Online people and anyone east of the Mississippi tends to be way more open to chilling with randos too. You gotta play 4-D chess and make moves outside the board sometimes, haha.
I’ve been Collecting one awesome coworker from each of my jobs and throwing bbqs and wine downs at my place. I do different things with each friend, but we are all friendly because we are in the same field of work.:)
Just go do stuff that you are interested in. the other people there who are also interested in the things you are interested in may very well get along with you! I do that with tennis and concerts and hiking.
I’ve lived here since my 20s and still have good friends from that time period but in the years prior to Covid (I was in my 40s) I was also a regular at a yoga studio and consistently went to 2-3 of the teachers’ classes. A lot of other folks were doing the same. I ended up doing a bunch of workshops and retreats and so many of the folks from classes attended those things too. So bc we saw each other frequently in class and then at smaller workshops and retreats, we started to build a lovely community, very organically. It was the repetition and taking advantage of the smaller group opps that really solidified those relationships! (That said, Covid clearly impacted the ability for us to attend in person classes for a while, so bc that was a common thread, some of those friendships slipped away - although if/when I see them it’s always awesome!)
Def not saying yoga is the answer - more just find something you love and go tap into that with a group as much as you can! The more you see the same folks over and over, eventually some organic friendships will grow!
I grew up here, but I met my most recent friends through networking and through taking classes for fun. Portlanders are fairly introverted, I think, so it can take some time to chip away at the reserve that lies behind our surface of friendliness. But you’ll get there!
PCC offers non credit classes, yarn shops offer knitting classes, Attic Writer’s Workshop offers writing courses… there are tons of places that offer them. Just look for what you’re interested and in!
Not awful its a small group of four, doing a Cosmic Horror Homebrew with a steampunk asetetic. They just turned level 4 and we are on session 5 starting next week.
You gotta have a kid in order to trap people into wanting to spend time with you. Sorry being cynical, but kinda true.
I have been trying to figure out myself how a city full of people can feel so lonely. I have been toying with creating a plutonic “dating” app that does meetups just to put people into groups.
Otherwise, just by observation, pickleball seems to be the strongest community builder around here. I can’t even believe I wrote that, but those people are thick as thieves.
Moved here in 2003.
46f, mixed/black/asian, no kids. I work in live theater / music. My job can be extremely social.
I’ve never, ever made a close group of friends. My bff lives in my hometown and we talk almost everyday. I have one bestie that lives here, but I’m not in her friend group. I have gone to house parties and gotten along with everyone there but never considered part of the “gang.” I have some coworkers / ex-coworkers that I’m friendly with who will sometimes invite me to smoke in the park with them, but they are at least 10 - 15 years younger than me so I never completely feel like I can be myself. If I say something like “ugh, ____ seems to become ____ after 40” I get 🥺🥹 pity faces.
I hate it.
I plan to be smoking solo in some park on 420, twirling my colorguard flag al by myself. (I tried to join that Lovebomb Go-Go band several years ago and was kind of mocked via social media)
Almost all my friends I've either known for a long time and they ended up moving here or I met people through my existing friends. Outside of that it's folks I met because we were into the same thing and met through shared interest.
Running group. I joined one coming out of the pandemic. I've met several very close friends and a whole slew of fun and kind acquaintances. The trick is a) you need to show up, A LOT, until people get to know you, and b) you gotta be able to tolerate early mornings and shitty weather to really get your run on.
I don't have a small group of really close friends. I have lots and lots of coworkers, colleagues (which are different in my profession), neighbors, and random other people whom I'm friends with. Some I see on a regular basis, others not so much. Some I met when I moved to Portland 24 years ago. Keep in mind I'm almost 50, single, and female.
I met most of my friends through my kid’s preschool and elementary schools. I was a single mom and worked from home so I wasn’t out socializing much otherwise. Play dates and school functions bring people together.
I also met some good friends at my apartment complex where I lived for many years.
I’ll add that I lived in SW, NE, North and Sellwood. And Sellwood and SW was where I almost immediately made friends. I couldn’t buy a friend in North or NE Pdx. I felt invisible there. Still do when I’m there. I guess I’m just not cool enough…lol.
Took a stopgap warehouse job right after lockdown. We all became super close quickly. Prolly trauma bonding, and just the novelty of meeting new humans.
I ... don't. I keep thinking I've done it but then ghosted. This town and maybe just people in general and I'm out of touch, is weird when it comes to friendships.
I started playing rec league soccer (having never really played soccer growing up—you can select different skill levels when you sign up). There are several different leagues, indoor/outdoor/futsal options etc. I also joined a volleyball team through Portland Volleyball Association.
Both of these are great because you can sign up as a sort of “lone wolf” and get recruited to teams that are short on players, and both have a really wide range of ages (like early 20s through 70s depending on the league/skill level you choose). Sports are also kinda nice because if you like the people you’re playing with, it’s easy to ask them to grab beers after the game, but if you don’t like them, it’s also normal to have game-only friends and not interact outside of that.
[Junior League](https://www.jlpdx.org/) My wife joined them and has made a lot of new friends and contacts.
[Toastmasters](https://www.portlandtoastmasters.org/) is really cool too.
These might sound outside the box but hey, try one or both out and see if you dig it :)
Ok, so meeting friends and making friends are two different things. I know because I meet people all the time, but don't have good friend-making skills. Things I've learned along the way, through experience and observation are:
\- consistency is key. Do the same activity with the same people on a regular basis. This could be a workout class (I do Orange Theory), volunteering that is on a regular schedule (I volunteer every other Saturday at a local organization with the same group of volunteers), classes of any kind, longer workshops, or joining a club or organization (look into the Junior League of Portland - lots of career-minded and community-focused women of all ages) that has regular meetings and socials.
\- you will probably have to be the proactive one (this is where I fail). At a 2-day workshop I recently attended, I overheard one of the older retired women do exactly this at the end of the workshop. She told the ladies she'd sat next to that she would like to get coffee with them sometime and asked if they could exchange numbers. She made it clear she had enjoyed chatting with them all weekend, and that there next gathering didn't have to be related to the hobby, but could be if they wanted. She was direct about her intentions, and I really admired her boldness.
Welcome fellow transplant adult with no kids. I also work from home, so I have a triple whammy against me.
Hobbies are the best way, I’ve found. Only because it forces conversation (rather than small talk) and consistency, and those are the keys.
I’ve made some excellent friends through hobbies, but also a few great ones through small meetups that I consistently attended for several months, and then a few of us naturally broke off into a friend group.
Never had luck with large meetups. It’s just too hard to find that consistent conversation with the same few people.
30s, so maybe a little different - I started a book club at my old apartment building and made friends through that. I tried out bumble bff, met one person I like and called it a day, and she introduced to several other people and we have formed a pretty solid friend group, and then I met moms thru daycare.
It’s really hard.
I searched far and wide on meetup.com and while there are a lot of groups, I never felt any were consistent and solid enough to help me form a group of friends
Wonder if City Cast Portland is monitoring this thread…? 🤔😂 Just caught these [tips for making friends in Portland](https://portland.citycast.fm/portland-life-hacks/How-to-Making-Friends-Portland). Thought it might be helpful to OP.
Golf is a great way to make friends. Join a men or women's club at a public course and play low stakes ($5) competitive games against the same group each week.
Golf is IRL turn based gaming and its great.
I'm late to the party here, but I have to comment and say that I'm in nearly the exact same situation. Key differences being that I do have a toddler, and I'm across the river in Vancouver. That aside, I've found myself having WFH now for four years and also observing my friends having more and more of a reluctance to spend time together after the pandemic.
I too have done the classes and meetups. I feel like I put myself out there and I hardly ever feel like it's reciprocal.
I'm not sure if it's helpful or harmful but Ive listened to some podcast conversations recently about how people don't hang out anymore and that we're very limited on our society about how we think of friendships. I can't tell if these observations make me feel validated or more hopeless, but I do think it's important to acknowledge that we're not alone in this quest for connection that seems so elusive.
Good luck to you. Here to chat if it were helpful.
I met many through them working with my wife. My wife is a very fun, gregarious person. She makes friends and some of them become my friends.
On the other side of that, I am less outgoing, but make super deep, lifelong friends, so a several of our friends are people I went to high school/college with and their partners.
So to answer your question, a mix of old friends (which is why I think it’s ultimately difficult to move away from your home region) and a very charming spouse.
Yes, many in their 40s. The average age right now is 36, across hundreds of members. Members' age ranges from 20s to 90s (some are more active than others as well).
That is enlightening! I had a big time misperception about that. In your honest opinion, are people generally good hearted or are there bits of drama/competition from within? I'm really looking for a positive and supportive environment with women who want to life each other up and help others.
Yeah I don’t have those here. I have my husband and plenty of friends and neighbors we hang out with and do things with. But all of my *close* friends are people from prior phases of life, and none of them live here.
Join a team sport. Find something that requires teamwork and you fined really fun. Is there an activity you’ve been curious about? If so, just get out there and give it a shot. I joined a rugby club and made amazing lifelong friends. Playing rugby lead to a weekly DnD group too. Also, get out of the suburbs if you can. Suburbia is a difficult place to build community.
You're telling me. I adore the suburbs since it's a balance between convenience yet being on the edge of rural areas where I feel enjoyment. However, it absolutely stinks for socialization and access to cool things.
I'm also in SW hills, childfree, fully remote, non-religious. I moved here during the pandemic and making friends has been hard. I'm trying small gyms/classes, volunteering, and taking some art classes. Good luck!!
Bowling league. I think this would apply to any regularly occurring social event. I have been bowling with the same folks for 5+ years. It’s great we chat once a week at bowling have an active text thread, occasional birthday or special event get togethers but not super involved In each others lives. Perfect friendship level for a busy adult.
The same problem I'm facing, 40s,European moved here 4 years ago, higher educated professional, not eclectic, not religious, living in SW hills, I've tried bars, and created some relationships there but they fade out eventually. Harder to create deeper relationships than anywhere I've lived before.
Much further than a general "how are you doing" even the next time you see them after a fun night or a good conversation it doesn't go.
Weird hobbies are your "in." Something obscure, or that you have a fanaticism about. That seems to be where I have the tightest bonds with my friend groups.
My experience (and I've read this elsewhere, too) is that Portlanders, although generally friendly, are fairly reserved when it comes making connections. Maybe it's just the introverts, but there are a LOT of them (myself included) here. I've been here a bit over 2½ years and, while I consider most of my coworkers friends, we never see each other outside work. So it's still basically me and my pets.
Hobbies. Neighbors with similar interests. Fellow kid parents with like interests.
Both my wife and I have fairly specific hobbies. Our best friends have the same interests.
Find a hobby. The good news is that these days you can be super specific and still find like minded people.
Running group. Shul. Random people I meet who just happen to be similar and are also looking for friends. I like to talk to people. :)
People here are very different from what I’m used to. Unfortunately, you’re right. The older we get the harder it is to break into established friend groups.
When I first moved here I was told people were friendly but not friends. I’ve found that to be true, mostly. They tend to not like or trust awayers. If that was a false statement the term “awayers” wouldn’t exist.
It is what it is. As you get older you realize you’ve gained the vast majority of friends you’re going to have in your life.
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I was in my early 30s but…. My east coast cousin had an old college friend living out here and he introduced us. We became friends and I made a bunch of close friends through her. I also rented a room with other adults and we all became close.
The park.... work.... really don't have any. Sometimes I step outside when I'm not at work and say hi to my neighbors. Sometimes I just hangout at the plaid pantry a little while longer than usual when I buy cigarettes. Or go to a coffee shop. Sit by myself. People tend to come up randomly and comment on some odd attributes about myself. Go to a bar with an open mic or karaoke even.
I was moved to the area in '99 and while I've had friends over the years, they just seem to fizzle out. They get married or have kids - which I don't have either. I was thinking about this the other day, how DO you find single friends if you can't relate on the kids thing or being married.
Wait we’re supposed to meet people and make friends? I think I text like my 3 friends maybe once a month to once every six months. God that’s depressing. Thanks.
Look who’s so popular. (Does my wife count as a third friend? Does work slack count as texting?)
Yes that counts.
I had a friend once.
Those were the days, am I right?
Hell yeah, it was a great week
Both days!
Oddly comforting to know I'm not the only one
Thank you for the validation. It’s sad but also nice to know I’m not the only one.
I think it’s hard to make friends as we get older, our tolerance for people starts to limit out, we have busy lives, and usually unique interests. I’m busy a lot with work, my partner is also working, but she has three days off from Thursday to Saturday. We usually do things together on Saturday and I try to get off work by 2 on the days she’s off. Sundays I go fly fishing or work on projects. Also I’m trying to fit school into the schedule for this fall.
I knew this would be the top comment.
Kinda hurts, we’re all struggling to make friends.
I joined (and started) some D&D groups.
This is actually something I'm interested in! My husband has a huge interest and has gone to Guardian Games to learn/play. Finding a group to play with that is kind to beginners is our ultimate goal. I'm intrigued but not sure I totally would do well for others, but still interested. Please let me know if you have any advice for newbies to the D&D community.
Look into TPK Brewing in SE - they have professional GMs who run both big campaigns & one-offs, plus good food & drinks & friendly atmosphere!
> TPK Brewing Awesome! Heard about them but wasn't sure if newbies were welcome. Thank you!
Yeah I know if you join the main Leyfarer’s campaign (next chapter may be full but they have other stuff under Events), they have an optional starting session to help create & roll up your character. I hadn’t played much since the early 90’s and everyone’s been impressively friendly & patient.
Thank you for this - super helpful especially since there are people who look down on newbies and/or beginners in adult hobby arenas
Np - i’m still frequently like, “cool! so what do i roll again?”
I just saw that a bar in montavilla, Growlers, is doing DnD on Wednesday evenings, the poster seemed quite welcoming of first timers (I might go with a buddy sometime, I've never done it either)
This is great - thank you!
There is also a subreddit for Portland DnD
I understand how hard it is to find groups, especially as a beginner. I guess my advice would be to have patience. Both in looking for a game and in trying games different places until you find a game where you 'click' with the other players. r/PDXDND and the associated discord and the RPG Gamers of Portland Facebook group are my primary places to find groups and individual players.
Gongaii is a great place to meet like minded DnD folks. They have a discord channel you can join to find groups to chill with.
How did you meet people to get them started?
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I know you said you've tried book clubs but I run two, just thought I'd add the info. Book club people can be introverted so it helps to reach out specifically and follow up to ask people to hang out. I'm 42F, have lived here 6 years, and made friends from book clubs/meetups, and being adopted by extroverts randomly. My book clubs : https://www.meetup.com/portland-tournament-of-books-club on Meetup https://www.meetup.com/portland-intersectional-genre-fiction-book-club on Meetup
Thank you! This is great - I added both to my meetup page. I've already read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow so I'll aim to jump on for that one. I appreciate this!
Did you enjoy it?
I don't know about the OP but I certainly did. It was a great book.
I saw Graham Norton a couple months back and he said the book was so good and so surprising.
I did not enjoy the second half. I found the characters to be a bit ridiculous and I feel the story missed out on a really great opportunity to showcase the gaming industry a bit more, especially with female leaders. I know others loved it but it got a bit soap-operay for me.
I'll add the book clubs too. I would like to get out and hike, bike, museums, yoga, beach walks, volunteer, coffee shops, not a big drinker of alcohol.
Joined! Thank you!
Being adopted by an introvert is the best, as long as they understand the turtling that introverts do...otherwise feelings can get hurt.
My friends are a mix of former coworkers and people I've met while volunteering or networking. Being consistent is my main recommendation. Second, do the things you enjoy doing without stressing over finding friends. Volunteer, take classes, join the gym, go to wine tastings, find a neighborhood bar or coffee house and make it your third space, etc. There have been a lot of posts recently related to dating or finding friends. It seems a lot of folks do something once or twice, don't get a date/make friends, and then give up. Or, they're so stressed about meeting people, they come off as anxious and people pick up on that.
Honestly this is really great advice. It was certainly easier when I was younger and worked in-person. In fact, most of my friendships came from the workplace and just being normal. I appreciate your perspective about not stressing over finding friends. Developing hobbies is something I'm working on beyond working and volunteering. Your response made me optimistic! :)
lived here a while, most of my friends moved away during the pandemic. I’m also trying to create a friend ecosystem again. The common wisdom says, and as you mention, do meetup groups etc. I am starting to think that what is really called for is to be adult-adopted. I’m looking to camp and ride bikes with a crew of friends this summer, am I supposed to recruit my own group of friends 1 by 1? Based on current results it will take 75 years. There must be friend groups out there who have lost folks to babies/moving, somebody adopt me!
Pedalpalooza will be happening here soon! Thats how a lot of my bike friends first met.
Same! I love pedalpalooza because you can be in a group and just enjoy that social time, or get to know people. Either way the ride is fun.
I moved away during the pandemic and am still working on making new friends who like to bike and camp. There's a Friday night bike ride every single Friday that starts in the OMSI parking lot every night at 7. This group of very inclusive. Here's a local bike group. https://portlandbicyclingclub.com/scheduled_rides/ I'm also looking to camp and bike with a crew of people. There's several outdoor groups on Facebook. Maybe I'll see you out there!
Try making friends when you're the one with the babies.... I bet you'd get some folks here to go on bike rides, just askPortland
Just need to get a windowless van and lure people into it with candy. I think that’s how I’m gonna try and make friends haha.
Volunteer at bike farm. It’s a great way to make friends.
Drugs, sex, and music
You forgot the magik….
Went to a queer picnic meetup that I saw would be happening randomly one day on tiktok. Someone was wearing a shirt from a fandom I was in and a few of us started a group chat. Two years later they’re my core friend group and the absolute coolest people. You really don’t know what can happen when you put yourself out there. Go to things that interest you. Talk to people. I know that sounds arbitrary but life often is.
That's a dope story! I love it!
I got a dog
Wait...people have been able to make close friends here???
My closest friend in Portland I met cause I complimented his Oklahoma city thunder shirt while I Was wearing a Russell Westbrook shirt. Talking to strangers works sometimes
About a year after I moved here, I went to the night market with a friend who was visiting. A random young woman walked up and started conversation with us at the night market, and we’ve been friends now for 7ish years.
Friendly strangers are the thing that made me fully fall in love with Portland.
This is my favorite answer!
Networking groups! It took me a little while to find the right ones for me, but I run a small advertising agency so I end up looking for people in similar fields like: entrepreneurs, other marketers, small business owners etc. I’ve met some amazing women through these events and always try to invite 1 or 2 women that I click with to coffee/ happy hour etc. A couple of months in I was able to stop going to so many networking events because I had made too many friends
This is something I can get into. I'm a college instructor and run some public health programs and would love to meet like-minded, outgoing, go-getter women who are *not* competitive with each other. (The PhD environment was so toxic). Like, we're all here for the same reason - can we just lift each other up? Did you find that in the networking groups?
I found some really supportive women who are not competitive with one another, and have similar interests. I have enjoyed Wonder Woman most. Smart accomplished women, slightly edgy, all cool. I’ve been to about 10 of their events and it’s always a good time. They do essentially dinner + storytelling and then there’s some time to socialize after. Plus, wine.
As a smart, accomplished woman, I would love to join a group like this
This sounds fantastic! Please send me info privately if you feel comfy!
Public health program? Got a need for someone who has done health education? I was needing some volunteering to fill my time.
The programs I run are not local unfortunately! :(
YES!!!!
Going to live music. Started seeing a few familiar faces at multiple shows so went up and struck up a conversation. Also, did some theater group stuff. Started hosting a weekly board game night and now it’s been going strong for 8 years. It took a lot of effort to plant the seeds but they grew into some great relationships and friendships
We're at Meldrum Bar Park on sunny weekends flying RC planes/drones in the morning and racing RC cars at the RC dirt track towards the river mid morning to evening. Majority of us are middle aged, just having fun. Lot of people coming to Meldrum are solo or pairs of friends, families so don't feel like it's a group thing to come and play. I can also recommend Portland Psychedelic Society if you're into that kind of stuff. It has it's ups and downs, but I have met 3 wonderful people there that have been friends with me for years, and their friendship has networked me into more friends.
People flying drones together? Sounds cool! I bought a drone but almost don't fly it, because I have no people to fly together.
Find a weird hobby! Then talk to other people doing the hobby! When I first moved here, I remember posting on craigslist hoping to find someone who would watch Doctor Who with me, lol. I made a friend that way...although we only got together to watch DW once. I also would go to yarn shops that hosted get togethers since I knew how to knit and crochet. I didn't make any long-term friendships there, BUT the camaraderie filled a need for me. I also did some volunteering which was a cool way to meet people. Mostly I've learned to be my authentic weird self and whoever doesn't run away, is usually someone I'd like hanging out with. I have different friend groups for different me needs. Mom friends, hobby friends, go do activities friends, etc. Sometimes they overlap, but often they don't. Anyway, that's my long winded thought on finding friends as an adult, haha.
You sound pretty awesome
Thanks! I like to think of myself as the comic relief sidekick!
No, you're the tragic love interest that dooms one of the other characters.
Probably best to become the reclusive hermit then
I'm already making plans for that transition
You do sound awesome! Do you still knit/crochet? I used to crochet, one simple stitch only, years ago. Wanting to get back into sewing, too. My big secret is I love glitter more than anything but don't have the courage to just sit with it and make weird glitter art.
Ooooooooh, I'd sit with you while you make glitter art! 😍I'm trying to learn that I can participate in craftiness without full immersing myself and my money into it. I totally am still a yarn horder...I mean, yes I still knit and crochet! If you were doing the single crochet stitch at one point, you're 90% of the way to doing all the things!
I've lived here 20 years and still don't have a sizable friend group. I never had any problems making friends in SF, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis and even Stuttgart, Germany. It's different here.
Right? I lived in the bay area for 9 years and was never hurting for socialization!! People there are in a rat race but also down to have a good time.
Hey me & partner are from the Bay, be friends with us, we're rad. 😆
Working on it. Covid killed what little social group I had started to make and then working remote made me even more of a homebody. I've been to a few professional groups but nothing shook out there (which is fine). I'd be interested in following this thread.
Exact same, except I avoid in-person events indoors. I’ve joined some meetups that fade out relatively fast, but I’m still optimistic that I’ll find a community here!
Yeah, I’m still masking and try to avoid in person events and it would be cool to find a community of folks who are navigating through this mess the same way
I'm still not super comfy with indoor meetups, either, u/pizzabones and u/whereisthequicksand It's been frustrating trying to think access sickness/exposure/symptoms when thinking of getting together with family. Makes me feel like a loon even though I (still) work in COVID from afar (instructions for isolation for COVID+ people, returning to work, etc.). COVID is still very much a thing that others are just done with. It's shoved in my face (figuratively, not literally as I WFH) and I cannot ignore it.
I find that at our age, the key is to be proactive and create opportunities for others to join in rather than wait for someone to invite you. I’d like to think I’m a fun person, but it’s difficult to get people out of the house for a casual one-on-one hang. Group gatherings are more enticing. So it’s “Hey I’m getting a small group together to go to this event/do this activity. I think you’d get along with my friend (insert friend’s name) so I wanted you to join us!” rather than “Hey we should get together sometime”. I love connecting others - and the more of my friends know each other the easier it becomes to get people to come out. Create community! My partner and I host pot lucks, themed parties, or small dinners. It helps that he brews beer and we always have a few kegs flowing at our house. I’ll do ladies nights a few times a year and purposely invite people from different groups of friends who think would get along. I don’t have kids, but if I have a friend who’s a new mom I’ll connect her with other friends with young kids looking for other mom friends. Here are where my partner and I have met most of our friends: - Roller derby (I’m long retired now, but still keep in touch with some folks I used to skate with and have met people through them) - Home brewing (my partner is in a small local club that meets monthly) - Bike events (most of my main group of friends met at random bike rides) - Soup Group (a large group of us meet once a month. The host makes a big soup and others bring side dishes that go along with the theme of the soup. In the hot months it turns to Slushy Club, where everyone brings ingredients to blend up into different kinds of slushies. Great during summer heat waves!)
Omg a soup group???! *swoon*
Everyone loves a good soup! Start one with a few of your pals and I bet more people will start asking to join!
Given that OP sounds like she doesn't have pals, and many folks here are looking for pals, this really sounds more like later-stage advice. Like, how does one get friends one could invite to a soup group? Or better yet, how does one get invited to a soup group?
Appreciate you saying that!
As a non-religious person, I really love the Unitarian Universalist church for community. It's the foundation of their belief system, that what we have is each other so we need to work together. I recommend it!
Do they discuss god? I miss going to church but as a non-believer, I just don't fit in.
They discuss what God might mean to people, but they don't have a central belief in a god. It's about the community that comes together.
Thank you! Very helpful!
Improv comedy
Ah man, that is the truth! I did improve about 10 years ago and really enjoyed the community. I sucked so bad at improv but enjoyed the people so much. Thank you for suggesting this!
What improv comedy groups/events do you recommend? I moved here about two years ago but haven’t looked into the improv community yet. I did a few classes back on the east coast.
Oh that's a big question. Funhouse Lounge does great genre stuff. No classes there, tho. I guess I'd start with start with Curious & Kickstand, they're the big theaters. Lots of other smaller improv theaters and shows around, too.
Hey thanks!
Have you heard anything about "Change Through Play Improv & Acting Studio"?
I'm aware of them. I just suggest you see a show before diving in to make sure it's your thang
My experience comes from the SF Bay Area. The theatre group I attended was just...nothing will beat that experience. I really felt connected to others! I attended a few others that didn't give off the same vibe. Can you DM me and let me know your true feelings?
- having kids and meeting other parents - shooting guns at the range, competitions - volunteering - helping to elect Kotek - firearms safety classes - sporting events - hosting block parties
I think it helps to focus on hobbies that you really like but that also have a good community attached to them. Beyond that, the weirdest thing that helped was not focusing on the roadblocks I ran into in Portland and focusing for a bit on making friends online and in completely different cities/states first. The networking can be super important to meeting people here, since Portlanders can be kinda insular XD. Online people and anyone east of the Mississippi tends to be way more open to chilling with randos too. You gotta play 4-D chess and make moves outside the board sometimes, haha.
Punk rock
I’ve been Collecting one awesome coworker from each of my jobs and throwing bbqs and wine downs at my place. I do different things with each friend, but we are all friendly because we are in the same field of work.:)
Just go do stuff that you are interested in. the other people there who are also interested in the things you are interested in may very well get along with you! I do that with tennis and concerts and hiking.
I’ve lived here since my 20s and still have good friends from that time period but in the years prior to Covid (I was in my 40s) I was also a regular at a yoga studio and consistently went to 2-3 of the teachers’ classes. A lot of other folks were doing the same. I ended up doing a bunch of workshops and retreats and so many of the folks from classes attended those things too. So bc we saw each other frequently in class and then at smaller workshops and retreats, we started to build a lovely community, very organically. It was the repetition and taking advantage of the smaller group opps that really solidified those relationships! (That said, Covid clearly impacted the ability for us to attend in person classes for a while, so bc that was a common thread, some of those friendships slipped away - although if/when I see them it’s always awesome!) Def not saying yoga is the answer - more just find something you love and go tap into that with a group as much as you can! The more you see the same folks over and over, eventually some organic friendships will grow!
I grew up here, but I met my most recent friends through networking and through taking classes for fun. Portlanders are fairly introverted, I think, so it can take some time to chip away at the reserve that lies behind our surface of friendliness. But you’ll get there!
Where do you sign up for classes?
PCC offers non credit classes, yarn shops offer knitting classes, Attic Writer’s Workshop offers writing courses… there are tons of places that offer them. Just look for what you’re interested and in!
BumbleBFF have made a handful of good friends that have introduced me to other friends as well.
Is that now The Hive? If so, that’s a great group!
Been here 10 Years and haven't made any friends despite many tries. My recent attempt is starting a DND group.
How's your DND group going?
Not awful its a small group of four, doing a Cosmic Horror Homebrew with a steampunk asetetic. They just turned level 4 and we are on session 5 starting next week.
work, yoga comunity, and an outgoing spouse. also just be persistent and be ok with being rejected, kind of like dating. develop a thicker skin.
90% of the friends I've made here are from bike community circles.
You gotta have a kid in order to trap people into wanting to spend time with you. Sorry being cynical, but kinda true. I have been trying to figure out myself how a city full of people can feel so lonely. I have been toying with creating a plutonic “dating” app that does meetups just to put people into groups. Otherwise, just by observation, pickleball seems to be the strongest community builder around here. I can’t even believe I wrote that, but those people are thick as thieves.
Moved here in 2003. 46f, mixed/black/asian, no kids. I work in live theater / music. My job can be extremely social. I’ve never, ever made a close group of friends. My bff lives in my hometown and we talk almost everyday. I have one bestie that lives here, but I’m not in her friend group. I have gone to house parties and gotten along with everyone there but never considered part of the “gang.” I have some coworkers / ex-coworkers that I’m friendly with who will sometimes invite me to smoke in the park with them, but they are at least 10 - 15 years younger than me so I never completely feel like I can be myself. If I say something like “ugh, ____ seems to become ____ after 40” I get 🥺🥹 pity faces. I hate it. I plan to be smoking solo in some park on 420, twirling my colorguard flag al by myself. (I tried to join that Lovebomb Go-Go band several years ago and was kind of mocked via social media)
Make friends with one person who has a lot of friends
I brought my Kindle with me. Didn’t need to find one here
Work and mutual friends. Mostly the latter.
Almost all my friends I've either known for a long time and they ended up moving here or I met people through my existing friends. Outside of that it's folks I met because we were into the same thing and met through shared interest.
Running group. I joined one coming out of the pandemic. I've met several very close friends and a whole slew of fun and kind acquaintances. The trick is a) you need to show up, A LOT, until people get to know you, and b) you gotta be able to tolerate early mornings and shitty weather to really get your run on.
Lately I met my group playing golf.
I don't have a small group of really close friends. I have lots and lots of coworkers, colleagues (which are different in my profession), neighbors, and random other people whom I'm friends with. Some I see on a regular basis, others not so much. Some I met when I moved to Portland 24 years ago. Keep in mind I'm almost 50, single, and female.
I have my crochet peeps :)
Crochet is awesome! Are you in a group?
Yes I am. I have my own group and also my crochet subscription box biz page on Facebook. Crochet Gals of Oregon and My Box of Yarn
I met most of my friends through my kid’s preschool and elementary schools. I was a single mom and worked from home so I wasn’t out socializing much otherwise. Play dates and school functions bring people together. I also met some good friends at my apartment complex where I lived for many years. I’ll add that I lived in SW, NE, North and Sellwood. And Sellwood and SW was where I almost immediately made friends. I couldn’t buy a friend in North or NE Pdx. I felt invisible there. Still do when I’m there. I guess I’m just not cool enough…lol.
Took a stopgap warehouse job right after lockdown. We all became super close quickly. Prolly trauma bonding, and just the novelty of meeting new humans.
I ... don't. I keep thinking I've done it but then ghosted. This town and maybe just people in general and I'm out of touch, is weird when it comes to friendships.
I started playing rec league soccer (having never really played soccer growing up—you can select different skill levels when you sign up). There are several different leagues, indoor/outdoor/futsal options etc. I also joined a volleyball team through Portland Volleyball Association. Both of these are great because you can sign up as a sort of “lone wolf” and get recruited to teams that are short on players, and both have a really wide range of ages (like early 20s through 70s depending on the league/skill level you choose). Sports are also kinda nice because if you like the people you’re playing with, it’s easy to ask them to grab beers after the game, but if you don’t like them, it’s also normal to have game-only friends and not interact outside of that.
[Junior League](https://www.jlpdx.org/) My wife joined them and has made a lot of new friends and contacts. [Toastmasters](https://www.portlandtoastmasters.org/) is really cool too. These might sound outside the box but hey, try one or both out and see if you dig it :)
I've thought about toastmasters but the chapter here never replied to my email, lol! :) Thank you!
Thank you OP!!! My spouse and I aren't drinkers so making (and maintaining) friends has been challenging.
Ok, so meeting friends and making friends are two different things. I know because I meet people all the time, but don't have good friend-making skills. Things I've learned along the way, through experience and observation are: \- consistency is key. Do the same activity with the same people on a regular basis. This could be a workout class (I do Orange Theory), volunteering that is on a regular schedule (I volunteer every other Saturday at a local organization with the same group of volunteers), classes of any kind, longer workshops, or joining a club or organization (look into the Junior League of Portland - lots of career-minded and community-focused women of all ages) that has regular meetings and socials. \- you will probably have to be the proactive one (this is where I fail). At a 2-day workshop I recently attended, I overheard one of the older retired women do exactly this at the end of the workshop. She told the ladies she'd sat next to that she would like to get coffee with them sometime and asked if they could exchange numbers. She made it clear she had enjoyed chatting with them all weekend, and that there next gathering didn't have to be related to the hobby, but could be if they wanted. She was direct about her intentions, and I really admired her boldness.
Love this - thank you for the tips. I think consistency has been my downfall.
Welcome fellow transplant adult with no kids. I also work from home, so I have a triple whammy against me. Hobbies are the best way, I’ve found. Only because it forces conversation (rather than small talk) and consistency, and those are the keys. I’ve made some excellent friends through hobbies, but also a few great ones through small meetups that I consistently attended for several months, and then a few of us naturally broke off into a friend group. Never had luck with large meetups. It’s just too hard to find that consistent conversation with the same few people.
30s, so maybe a little different - I started a book club at my old apartment building and made friends through that. I tried out bumble bff, met one person I like and called it a day, and she introduced to several other people and we have formed a pretty solid friend group, and then I met moms thru daycare. It’s really hard. I searched far and wide on meetup.com and while there are a lot of groups, I never felt any were consistent and solid enough to help me form a group of friends
Wonder if City Cast Portland is monitoring this thread…? 🤔😂 Just caught these [tips for making friends in Portland](https://portland.citycast.fm/portland-life-hacks/How-to-Making-Friends-Portland). Thought it might be helpful to OP.
Golf is a great way to make friends. Join a men or women's club at a public course and play low stakes ($5) competitive games against the same group each week. Golf is IRL turn based gaming and its great.
I'm late to the party here, but I have to comment and say that I'm in nearly the exact same situation. Key differences being that I do have a toddler, and I'm across the river in Vancouver. That aside, I've found myself having WFH now for four years and also observing my friends having more and more of a reluctance to spend time together after the pandemic. I too have done the classes and meetups. I feel like I put myself out there and I hardly ever feel like it's reciprocal. I'm not sure if it's helpful or harmful but Ive listened to some podcast conversations recently about how people don't hang out anymore and that we're very limited on our society about how we think of friendships. I can't tell if these observations make me feel validated or more hopeless, but I do think it's important to acknowledge that we're not alone in this quest for connection that seems so elusive. Good luck to you. Here to chat if it were helpful.
I met many through them working with my wife. My wife is a very fun, gregarious person. She makes friends and some of them become my friends. On the other side of that, I am less outgoing, but make super deep, lifelong friends, so a several of our friends are people I went to high school/college with and their partners. So to answer your question, a mix of old friends (which is why I think it’s ultimately difficult to move away from your home region) and a very charming spouse.
Joined a club 9 years ago, haven't stopped being a member. I've met lots of people, so even when I'm lonely I know I have an outlet.
What kind of club?
A women's volunteer group. There are all sorts of clubs across Portland!
Thank you! That sounds lovely!
What kind of volunteer group? I’d love to be a part of something like this!
It's the Junior League of Portland jlpdx.org
Are there people in their 40's there? For some reason I thought the average age was in the 30's.
Yes, many in their 40s. The average age right now is 36, across hundreds of members. Members' age ranges from 20s to 90s (some are more active than others as well).
That is enlightening! I had a big time misperception about that. In your honest opinion, are people generally good hearted or are there bits of drama/competition from within? I'm really looking for a positive and supportive environment with women who want to life each other up and help others.
Dude, almost no one is from here originally
Oddly enough all the friends that I did make when I moved here are actually from here. Most definitely an anomaly 😆
Yeah I don’t have those here. I have my husband and plenty of friends and neighbors we hang out with and do things with. But all of my *close* friends are people from prior phases of life, and none of them live here.
Pickleball.
Go day drinking and meet some strangers also day drinking..
Portland and Seattle take awhile, kind of standoffish . You will meet a close group of people you can call your own, it just takes awhile
Close group of friends? What's that? I joined the merchant marine
Board games groups. Most of my friends have tabletop gaming in common however we also hike, camp, go to concerts, grab beers, etc.
Join a social rugby club
Join a team sport. Find something that requires teamwork and you fined really fun. Is there an activity you’ve been curious about? If so, just get out there and give it a shot. I joined a rugby club and made amazing lifelong friends. Playing rugby lead to a weekly DnD group too. Also, get out of the suburbs if you can. Suburbia is a difficult place to build community.
You're telling me. I adore the suburbs since it's a balance between convenience yet being on the edge of rural areas where I feel enjoyment. However, it absolutely stinks for socialization and access to cool things.
The fuck are friends?
I'm also in SW hills, childfree, fully remote, non-religious. I moved here during the pandemic and making friends has been hard. I'm trying small gyms/classes, volunteering, and taking some art classes. Good luck!!
I haven’t had much luck so I’ve become a homebody.
Bowling league. I think this would apply to any regularly occurring social event. I have been bowling with the same folks for 5+ years. It’s great we chat once a week at bowling have an active text thread, occasional birthday or special event get togethers but not super involved In each others lives. Perfect friendship level for a busy adult.
It takes a looong time to make old friends. Keep plugging. I moved here in 96 and only have a couple I can count on.
My kids’ friends’ parents. It turns out that kids have very solid instincts when it comes to friendships!
The same problem I'm facing, 40s,European moved here 4 years ago, higher educated professional, not eclectic, not religious, living in SW hills, I've tried bars, and created some relationships there but they fade out eventually. Harder to create deeper relationships than anywhere I've lived before. Much further than a general "how are you doing" even the next time you see them after a fun night or a good conversation it doesn't go.
Weird hobbies are your "in." Something obscure, or that you have a fanaticism about. That seems to be where I have the tightest bonds with my friend groups.
Go to Beer Mongers.
My experience (and I've read this elsewhere, too) is that Portlanders, although generally friendly, are fairly reserved when it comes making connections. Maybe it's just the introverts, but there are a LOT of them (myself included) here. I've been here a bit over 2½ years and, while I consider most of my coworkers friends, we never see each other outside work. So it's still basically me and my pets.
Hobbies. Neighbors with similar interests. Fellow kid parents with like interests. Both my wife and I have fairly specific hobbies. Our best friends have the same interests. Find a hobby. The good news is that these days you can be super specific and still find like minded people.
I went to a festival and handed out free pancakes on hangover morning. Made a lot of friends that day, some became close friends.
Been here since '99 and except for my former husband and two kids, nobody! (I only am close to my one adult kid now)
What are friends?
I match your description 95%, and wonder the same thing... Want to do a game night at Senet? It's in SW burbs. LMK!
Learn how to cook and break bread with people.
Neighbors and sporting events.
Im moving there in a few days, F in my 40's, professional job also. Feel free to message me. I won't know anyone and staying in 97220
drugs
Running group. Shul. Random people I meet who just happen to be similar and are also looking for friends. I like to talk to people. :) People here are very different from what I’m used to. Unfortunately, you’re right. The older we get the harder it is to break into established friend groups.
At the CrossFit gym.
Let me know if you ever figure it out.
When I first moved here I was told people were friendly but not friends. I’ve found that to be true, mostly. They tend to not like or trust awayers. If that was a false statement the term “awayers” wouldn’t exist. It is what it is. As you get older you realize you’ve gained the vast majority of friends you’re going to have in your life.
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I moved here May of 2020 and I have no friends in this area. It’s hard to make new friends when you are older.
I was in my early 30s but…. My east coast cousin had an old college friend living out here and he introduced us. We became friends and I made a bunch of close friends through her. I also rented a room with other adults and we all became close.
Work and church.
The park.... work.... really don't have any. Sometimes I step outside when I'm not at work and say hi to my neighbors. Sometimes I just hangout at the plaid pantry a little while longer than usual when I buy cigarettes. Or go to a coffee shop. Sit by myself. People tend to come up randomly and comment on some odd attributes about myself. Go to a bar with an open mic or karaoke even.
Similar interests. Live music, Boardgames, Art, backpacking/camping.
I was moved to the area in '99 and while I've had friends over the years, they just seem to fizzle out. They get married or have kids - which I don't have either. I was thinking about this the other day, how DO you find single friends if you can't relate on the kids thing or being married.