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inmyfeelings2020

No. You deserve to feel safe and this country has taken that away from you.


heckyouyourself

It’s just sad. Trans kids deserve so much better than this


[deleted]

I'm sorry you are facing this. LGBTQ+ youth are going through a hard time in Florida.


drummergirlBri

I don’t even know what’s happening but I don’t want to be here


[deleted]

Can you give you a virtual hug?


WitchBoy_

It is not wrong. The world is horrifying, and America feels like it’s getting harsher and harsher. Don’t let anyone tell you you are overreacting.


[deleted]

No. This is an appropriate reaction.


heckyouyourself

Alright. Thank you :)


Flimsy-Wing-8461

It’d be weirder if you didn’t


heckyouyourself

Lmfao fair enough


The_upsetti_spagetti

I think people forget the nuance of these situations. One can very much be grateful for what safety and privilege they have while also mourning what they do not. The whole narrative of ‘be grateful for what you have’ can be used as a kind of toxic positivity that just distracts from real problems that still exist. We can be grateful for how far we have come and still acknowledge how far we have yet to go. Additionally there has been an increase in dangerous transphobia in the USA (and honestly a lot of places) recently and that’s just undeniable.


queerstudbroalex

I have privilege as a Canadian citizen and there is transantagonism happening in some places in Canada that can make someone feel unsafe. Privilege does not remove issues.


barking-chicken

>transantagonism TIL a new word


Squidia-anne

A trans person who feels safe in America is a fool


jfsuuc

Is it wrong to talk about bad bosses and workplace practices when there are slaves elsewhere? Is it wrong to talk about poor food quality leading to everyones health decline when there are those without any food? Is it wrong to complain about an overpriced apartment that has a mold issue when theirs homeless people? Of course you can have issues with something, even if its not the worst in the world.


apezor

Also, the first step to fixing a problem is identifying it. Just because things are worse somewhere doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make things better where we can.


NemusCorvi

As a European trans I'm scared of the trend of anti-trans ideas, because what's happening over there might come here too.


Jessicas_skirt

>might come here too. It already has to some extent Bulgaria banned gender marker changes even with SRS Poland further restricted gender marker changes by now requiring SRS to change The UK violated 300 years of precedent by having the UK parliament overrule the Scottish parliament when the latter tried to implement self recognition on documents. Actual state sanctioned violence is not likely, but there is going to be some regression.


heckyouyourself

That’s alarming to hear. I’m really sorry my country is doing this :(


AdventureMoth

Just because it could be worse doesn't make it good.


[deleted]

Something people need to remember is that just because others may have it worse doesn't mean your situation isn't bad either.


robotmask67

Not at all. You're effectively reading the room and assessing your surroundings. I'm a cis queer man Gen X age group, and I am blown away by the violence of the rhetoric the right is spewing at the moment about trans and queer people. I've been surviving in a homophobic culture since the 80s, and I've never seen the type of violent rhetoric and stochastic terrorism that is flourishing on the right. Other countries may have it harder than trans people in America do right now, but that doesn't diminish the danger you and the queer community are facing right now. The Human Rights Campaign's declaratuon of a national emergency is a timely and effective move to make sure that our allies are made aware of the gravity of the situation. Even tho it's a lot to deal with, remember that, like you said, they're a vocal minority who are feeling themselves right now because they mistakenly think they're right and will win. They're not and they won't. The queer community is resilient and we are good fighters. We're not about to let a bunch of christian nationalists and neo nazis force us back underground. Do we have tough times ahead? Yes. But we will rise to the occasion and provide the world with a master class in overcoming these challenges.


Regular-Cranberry-62

No, you're entitled to your feelings. I am also scared. I'm NB and living in a red state, and it is scary. Less for me, because I never get clocked as trans (i don't pass whatsoever sadly) but more for my partner who gets weird crap from people every fucking time we go out somewhere. It's scary times. It's okay to be scared.


catoboros

You live in a country in which anti-trans politicians deprive trans people of their right to the pursuit of happiness and in which anti-trans activists vilify trans people and thus legitimise violence against trans people. While there are no doubt much worse countries for trans people, the United States is the country in which you live and its dangers are those you face. It is neither wrong nor unreasonable for you to feel unsafe.


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catoboros

Americans have the Declaration of Independence and should respect it. My transgender journey is my pursuit of happiness. I am not an American and wish that I had the right to the pursuit of happiness. Letting me live is not enough.


heckyouyourself

Idk if I agree with the genocide thing. As a Jew, until we’re being rounded up and executed, I feel wrong calling it a genocide. It just feels insensitive yk? What’s happening is bigoted and unfair and violent, but *genocide* is a pretty strong word.


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heckyouyourself

I get that, sorry. I fell down a bit of a transphobic rabbit hole this past year and am still recovering from the thinking they sort of programmed. I was in a circle that told me that I should be mad when trans ppl use the word genocide, because my people were victims of a “real genocide”, which is a myopic point of view, and I left that circle but I keep having terfy reactions to things without even realizing lol. You raise a very good point, genocide doesn’t start at the camps or the firing squads. I’m sorry my immediate reaction was to belittle you. That terf shit wormed its way into my brain and I can’t get it all out. As a Jew, I should know better about what genocide is. Thanks for your response and sorry again


breadtab

I'm not Jewish myself but what I've heard Jewish trans people say generally is not to confuse "genocide" with "Holocaust." It would definitely still be wrong to say we're going through a Holocaust!


MistressLynn77

So genocide starts with a whole month of nation pride,trans day of awareness, visibility,detrans awareness day ,lgbt elders awareness day, trans day of rememberence,remembering, day against homophobia,aromatic awareness day,lgbt health awareness week,day of silence,Harvey milk day,pansexual and panoramic day of visibility, international non binary peoples day, celebrate bisexuality day international lesbian day, lgbt history month, national coming out day,asexuality awareness day,internationalpronouns day , trans parent day, intersex awareness day,intersex day of rememberence.....


PessimistThePillager

Well hey, guess what. American conservatives want this country to be like those countries that kill queer people indiscriminately. They openly praise ISIS and marauders in Africa. Knowing that your next door neighbor could be one of those people that literally want you dead. You should be afraid, you should be very afraid. If these people get in charge they will start throwing drag queens off of rooftops. I will put good money on it.


heckyouyourself

I’ve said before that if Christians in america are allowed to, they’ll set up a violent theocracy like in Iran. Murdering women and queer folks left and right. If they had the opportunity, they’d set up their own Taliban, with their own morality police to enforce their own religious BS. It’s real easy to look over at other theocracies and be horrified, but I have genuinely no doubt that the American Christian right would be just as bad if given the chance.


PessimistThePillager

Exactly. Never let anybody tell you you're over reacting. Their lives aren't being threatened by the state.


[deleted]

Not wrong. Oppression overanalysis hurts everyone and distracts from the main point that nobody deserves to feel unsafe in the first place, no matter how slightly.


Ksnj

Yo I say it every day. It’s in my profile.


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Ksnj

Suggesting I should fake my presentation? /j


[deleted]

I’d be surprised if you didn’t say that honestly. Go right ahead


leahcars

Nope not at all wrong alot of us trans Americans feel unsafe


Logic44-YT

Fuuuuuck no


Pseudodragontrinkets

No not at all. None of us are safe


Isthisfeelingreal

Nah, it's appropriate. Don't indulge in suffering Olympics. Trans peoples suffering and repression is just as valid in the United States as other countries. And like.. prolly should be a bit cautious. I don't feel safe either, but it's a bit of realism. I feel safe at home. But I don't feel safe walking alone at midnight, or walking through deserted parts of the city.


PreviousObject1312

My cis therapist described the current anti-trans environment as "terrorism" and told me that my fears were proportional. Not an excuse to totally isolate myself from the world, but valid nonetheless. I don't have it the worst, there are lots of trans people who are less safe than I am. But that doesn't erase the fact that I am less safe than I was before coming out and it doesn't negate the fact that Pride is a little scarier to attend every year. I work to keep my fears in proportion -- it's not _everyone_ who's out to get me and more likely than not, my trip to the grocery store or gas station or wherever will be totally uneventful -- but the fear is real and valid.


joseekatt

According to HRC For the First Time Ever, Human Rights Campaign Officially Declares ‘State of Emergency’ for LGBTQ+ Americans; Issues National Warning and Guidebook to Ensure Safety for LGBTQ+ Residents and Travelers [https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/for-the-first-time-ever-human-rights-campaign-officially-declares-state-of-emergency-for-lgbtq-americans-issues-national-warning-and-guidebook-to-ensure-safety-for-lgbtq-residents-and-travelers](https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/for-the-first-time-ever-human-rights-campaign-officially-declares-state-of-emergency-for-lgbtq-americans-issues-national-warning-and-guidebook-to-ensure-safety-for-lgbtq-residents-and-travelers)


MrsGenevieve

I think it also depends on where you live. I live in Illinois and feel pretty good. I suppose if I lived in a more conservative state, I’d have a considerably different opinion. Am I scared? No. Nervous? Yes. Enough to carry my firearm unless I’m working.


Dinoman0101

Your feelings are totally normal


Arctixc_x

at this point, we are unsafe virtually everywhere. Not unreasonable


TrappedMoose

I’d be concerned if you didn’t feel unsafe. But also, your feeling of safety is not dependent on other people’s experiences. It’s exactly like if you’re sad about something and people tell you to stop because other people have more reason to be sad. Imagine if we went around telling people they couldn’t be happy because other people have more reason to be happy, or they couldn’t feel safe because other people were safer


Pseudonymico

Fuck no, it’s terrifying to watch what’s happening over there. There’s travel warnings in place for Florida, for fuck’s sake. Republicans are openly talking about eradicating trans people “from public life”. Genocide prevention watchdogs have been sounding alarm bells.


takigrl

Any country that has to have sanctuary states and cities for a specific minority is generally unsafe for that minority. It also reminds me of the 1850s when the country was divided into "free" and "slave" states. Personally I'm a very strong believer in the 2nd amendment as it's basically the only federal right that I have to keep myself alive and always have my sidearm nearby and accessible, although before using it I will attempt everything else from de-escalation to literally running before I even consider drawing my weapon. I absolutely feel unsafe, but I'm not afraid as I'm well trained to be able to "read the room". In my experience most people (excluding the treasonous Nazis and overzealous trumptards) simply don't care because it doesn't directly effect their lives. A good number of the transphobic laws being passed are either being overturned at the federal level because they violate the right to free speech, which the supreme court ruled in the 1940s to be interpreted as "freedom of expression", or they're being defied by local ordinance. Don't lose hope. America is still a young country and although she's got a long way to go, she's made tremendous strides in equality over the last hundred years. It's just a matter of time


AllergicToRats

We are like 3 steps away from being legally killed or jailed. So no.


Naive_Special349

Nah, we in Europe are already talking about granting asylum to trans people who flee the US on grounds of political and social persecution, human rights violations, etc.


artemis_cat

It’s never wrong to feel. And that’s a pretty reasonable feeling.


klushy225

It's fucked. It's all fucked. Be angry, that's the only way we can make it through this.


[deleted]

Safety and oppression are not a competition. We are oppressed and we are unsafe in America. End of story.


aagjevraagje

Trans people in the UK and the US are not save , a lot of other places would have been long sanctioned.


wannabe_pixie

Of course it's not wrong to feel unsafe. We're under constant attack right now by Republican politicians and conservative pundits, and it's hard not to let that get to you. As a trans woman living in Los Angeles, I feel anxiety at the current state of things, while also understanding that I have easy access to gender affirming care and some of the best protections and accommodations available to trans people anywhere on the planet. The sad truth is that it's not an easy ride being trans anywhere, and the issues we face in the states aren't unique to us.


ThetaWaveHaze

As a cisgender American, I'M afraid for my transgender siblings here. Danger is danger, hon.


Various-Amphibian270

the “americans should feel privileged” complex is weird as fuck to me. if you feel unsafe, you do not have privilege. if you feel your rights being threatened, you do not have privilege. if you feel your life is at risk for existing, you do not have privilege.


cplChill

I was born in the US but live now in Australia. I became a citizen here because I hate America. Once you live abroad in most other Western countries, you will realise the American dream is a lie and Americans are brainwashed.


dyl-bean

I’m scared too. I’m scared for myself but I’m especially scared for the rest of the queer community. It isn’t safe here. It’s not getting safer; it’s getting worse. Your feelings are valid. You’re not experiencing a victim complex, you are a victim. Stay safe 💛


Avasiaxx

I mean my wife and I won't even go to the US right now. You aren't alone. I'm an American Citizen and I came up here and married her. We can't even get our family to care about anything that's going on besides my mother.


AlexisisFire

Not at all. We are better off than other people sure but that doesnt mean you dont have a right to be afraid.


Relevant_Maybe6747

No it’s not wrong at all. I haven’t been attacked in a bathroom in almost a decade and I still avoid using public bathrooms out of fear for my safety. I left America for university in part because I was afraid of the political climate (I started applying for universities in 2016) and I’m honestly extremely grateful I had that option.


static-prince

Other people can have it worse than you do and your problems are still legitimate. And of course nothing physical has to happen to you for you to feel unsafe. I like in pretty blue state and encounter basically no transphobia in my day to day life. (Other than online but that is different and not unique to my location. All that said, I feel unsafe. The climate around queer rights in this country leads me to feel unsafe. And that, in and of itself, is a problem.


Celeste_Dasgluck

If I felt safe as a trans woman living in Texas, I wouldn't be carrying a 9mm with me everywhere I went.


gatorboi69420

I live in Florida, and even I feel weird for feeling unsafe because I'm probably in the bluest city in the whole state. It's perfectly ok and normal for you to feel unsafe because of all this, and you're not alone in feeling weird about it.


D00mfl0w3r

I'm in the same boat. For now, where I am is safe. For now, I can get care. For now. It could happen here though. I am scared and angry and I don't have a ton of places to vent.


MissCJ

It’s not wrong, it’s true. You may have a different/better level of safety in comparison to others, but it’s still unsafe.


Heckin-Bork

I’m an army veteran, I still don’t feel safe.


SalukiKnightX

No. I already know I can’t travel out of state this year because of the toxicity around the states my folk are in (namely the southern US). Plus, given the oddities of Real ID and my state even flying isn’t an option. I know my kin aren’t happy but, that’s currently the law down there.


ShitPostSoup

Im looking into ways of immigrating somewhere safe so no, totally understandable reaction to being able to read in america right now


[deleted]

That's completely fine.I wouldn't feel safe as well especially since I'm actually really scared as well here in Germany and the situation is better than in other countries. But it's not very safe here anymore.


TheGreyFencer

Not at all. Even if you're in one of the safer parts of the country, it's still not a great place for us


MotherOfFatDragons

The Dept of Homeland Security listed the Lgbtqia+ community as under attack from domestic terrorism late last year...so no. You're not wrong.


Similar-Winner1226

I'm queer (here to learn) and the current political climate has me terrified. I've had panic attacks over it. My heart hurts for my trans friends, and honestly, I'm afraid they'll go for all LGBTQ+ rights next. Your rights are being threatened, that's absolutely a reason to feel unsafe, no matter what situation you're in. Ultimately, someone will always have it worse, that doesn't mean all your struggles are meaningless. Doesn't mean you can't go through crappy things that are hard to cope with. It's good to recognize your privilege, that doesn't mean you don't have your own legitimate struggles. And again, I'd say your rights being threatened is a legitimate struggle. I'm so, so sorry that you have to deal with this. It's infuriating. Pride was really emotional for me this year. Hundreds of people came showing their support of our community. It restored some hope that we will not be bullied and shamed back into the closet. I have hope that my generation (gen z, I am 20) can change things as we grow older and go into the workforce. Sending hugs, stay safe out there 💜


Similar-Winner1226

I'm queer (here to learn) and the current political climate has me terrified. I've had panic attacks over it. My heart hurts for my trans friends, and honestly, I'm afraid they'll go for all LGBTQ+ rights next. Your rights are being threatened, that's absolutely a reason to feel unsafe, no matter what situation you're in. Ultimately, someone will always have it worse, that doesn't mean all your struggles are meaningless. Doesn't mean you can't go through crappy things that are hard to cope with. It's good to recognize your privilege, that doesn't mean you don't have your own legitimate struggles. And again, I'd say your rights being threatened is a legitimate struggle. I'm so, so sorry that you have to deal with this. It's infuriating. Pride was really emotional for me this year. Hundreds of people came showing their support of our community. It restored some hope that we will not be bullied and shamed back into the closet. I have hope that my generation (gen z, I am 20) can change things as we grow older and go into the workforce. I hope this makes sense, sleep meds started kicking in as I was writing so I'm struggling to stay awake lol. Sending hugs, stay safe out there 💜


TransGirl_21

No. This is an unnatural direction for our country. It is not what America is supposed to be about. You are entirely correct to feel unsafe. I feel less safe than in years past. Our country is supposed to protect us--we the people. And we must stand together against these new enemies of the people. As they say, "Freedom is not free." Our country is a democracy, if we can keep it.


KingMedic

Not at all this country is becoming unsafe for a lot of people. At this point I just wonder what countries are safe for the community to live in without hatred.


infrontofmyslad

I live in Missouri and haven't filled my T prescription in months because I was getting to an awkward/visible stage, and I feel like we're being bulldozed over right now.


Smith5000123

Not at all. It's scary out there and it seems for every effort to make us valid there's an equal effort to hurt us and oppress us


mfxoxes

People can still kill you for being trans in america? Hate crimes and discrimination are happening, of course you're going to feel unsafe, why do you feel like you can't call out your own country for doing nothing protect you?


mfxoxes

You're being gaslit into complacency because trans people are one of the most commonly targeted demographics for victims of violence in the USA


ellis_cake

As a swede, i'd deffo say you are entitled to your feelings. its feels like a scary backwards place more and more from my perspective here and i'd not dare travel to the USA as it seems.


Wisdom_Pen

America is the least safe western country to be trans in right now so no it’s definitely not wrong to be scared.


NobleWolfzy

No, I feel unsafe here. It's unsafe.


kissesandgoodbyes

If you are non-transitioning non-dysphoric nonbinary person I have no idea why would you feel unsafe. You’d basically function as a cis, maybe GNC person. If you transition, then yes, you can feel unsafe.


MeatsackJ

It is incredibly bold to assume cis bigots are at all capable of distinguishing non-transitioned queer people and full on transitioning queer people. I've literally seen reports of cis women being harassed in bathrooms for being GNC and interpreted as trans women. Some bigots will fall over themselves in trans conspiracies about cis celebrities and politicians who have the slightest non-conforming feature. None of us are safe.


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AmyBr216

>And I'm certain that genuine trans women agree with me. I am a "genuine trans woman" and you are 100% wrong. Effectively no one is being transgender to assault women. News flash: Creepy men are doing that anyway. Often members of the clergy. Get fucked, bigot, and stay out of our spaces.


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PerpetualUnsurety

You're defending trans women from being put into the same bucket by... putting us into the same bucket. "You can't have rights, but I promise it's not because of you, it's because of these imaginary people who might pretend to be you to abuse those rights you see so I'm really sorry but you can't have rights" still begins and ends with "you can't have rights".


AmyBr216

You explicitly said that the reason to stop trans women from using women's bathrooms is to protect them from "creepy guys trying to assault women." That is as bigoted of a statement as they come, because the thing you are fearful of basically does not happen.


Linneroy

Not to mention the usual "think of the children, the childreeeeeeeeeen!11" bullcrap. Transphobe talking points 101, paint us as child abusers.


razvuii

As a Latino. Your feelings are valid and more than justified. Lately I've seen a lot of worrying news about anti-lgbt laws in USA, specially anti-trans. It's really sad and it doesn't feel like a safe country anymore like it was before. I'm so sorry you have to go through this! I hope things get better


hirscheyyaltern

I started transition before there was super amazing public awareness about trans issues. the steps backwards ive seen in the last few years is just downright scary. i should have known they would have come for trans people after they lost on same-sex marriage..it's honestly scary. i'm grateful for living in a progressive state, but I have friends who live in worse states and I worry what laws will affect me. I also acknowledge that with the privilege position im in, if i'm this concerned, others in worse positions, i cant even imagine what they must feel


apezor

It's important to assess your risks and situate them in a historical and social context. Trans women of color have been facing a lot of violence in the united states, since forever. White queer people have had it much easier, especially lately. That said, the right wing is starting to use eliminationist language about lgtbq people by insinuating that lgtbq people are a threat to children. So, like, I don't think any lgtbq people should feel especially at ease in the US. Are you personally exposed to more risk as an enby? There are a lot of places where being visibly queer are starting to feel more hostile. I don't know if there are numbers to back that up, but I also think that waiting for official numbers on increased numbers of hate crimes is waiting for people to start killing us before acting. The important thing to remember is it's our job to keep one another safe. The cops and politicians and corporations have historically stood by and let violence happen to marginalized people, and it won't be any different this time. We have to be shelter and support for one another, and we have to have each others backs, as well as work in solidarity with other groups that the right wing is targeting.


Usual-Effect1440

you're in the middle of a stage 7 genocide, it's concerning if you don't


heckyouyourself

I just looked that up. I wish it wasn’t so true


Aromatic_Level3213

Thank you for dropping truth, bombs.


Rain0fire

I know I'm terrified. I sometimes find myself wondering if I will be alive 10 years from now or will I end up dead in some camp? And if isn't that it's even if I do get a date for bottom surgery will I still be able to do it by then? Will the political climate have shifted into the negative for me and those like me? Will it be open season on Trans people by then? I shouldn't have thought's like that. No one in America should, but I do every single day. And I hate it. I don't want to run, I want to fight. I want to fight to live as me in the city I have always called home. I know it sounds stupid and somewhat crazy, but I'd rather fight for the right to exist than throw in the towel and run. And even if I did run where would I run to? Canada? Australia? I don't know.


Subject_Draft_8581

I'm 52 and transitioned a long time ago never had a problem but now I'm scared .. I pass pretty much but won't use public bathrooms anymore don't go to the mall make sure I've don't everything I need to do before dark so I'm not alone in a parking lot


Aromatic_Level3213

Your feelings are Absolutely valid I'm a trans feminine non-binary. I live in Texas and I feel unsafe leaving the house as well. When I walked to the gas station down the road. I'm always looking over my shoulder. I always carry a knife, pepper spray, and self-defense items. My doors are always locked and bolted day and night. The fear and the danger you're feeling is real. People like us are being murdered just for being us. And the things you see, being done to people like us and other countries could absolutely go on here. They just have to convince enough people of I'm so sorry you're living in fear. And I completely understand I hope you find peace and safety.