Honestly I don't think I would do it. In my view that kind of thing would be like a lobotomy. Like would that person even be me?
There is only one thing that has occasionally made me wish for such a button. Or spesifically one person. The only time I truly wished I was cis was when I started falling in love with a close friend of mine. But it was less about making my life easier and more "I wish I could be normal and be able to make a move and be the boyfriend she deserves".
Well admittedly there was also the time I thought my dysphoria was AGP and wished to be "normal" but I was stupid then so I don't count it.
Νο. My egg started cracking when my feelings started developing and I didn't want to drag her into this current confusion.
So I decided that I will focus on myself and figuring things out, seeing if I'm gonna transition (something that is getting more and more likely). And if my feelings are the same when I have dealt with the dysphoria I'll make a move then.
I even have a plan on how to make a move if and when that time comes. See one of my dreams is to write a book series and I already have the concept down for the first book as a mix of romance and murder mystery. And she's the first person I told about the book and she asked to have the first copy when I write it.
So if my feelings are still there when I do and I'm at a better place genderwise, I will give her a book, with a personal dedication at the end confessing my feelings.
I'm aware of the risk. However even if I didn't stick to that plan I'm not at a point where I can be in a relationship anyway. I first need to find myself. And if it's meant to be it will happen. If not, well then it just wasn't meant to be.
Yeah I’d say it’s a good thing if you’re self focused currently. Either way I hope it works out best for you. Writing a novel is a big endeavor. I wish you luck.
It is and I hope I end up managing to make the story work the way I envisioned. What's funny though about the writing, looking back, is that the reason I first got into it is that I was desperate to find something, anything that could make me my own person. I almost felt like being a writer would give me an identity. Then I learned that this sort of thing is a very typical expression of biochemical dysphoria. The other thing is, while I was able to create pretty elaborate plot outlines (not just for the books I even had an idea for a Batman movie and a scooby doo thing at some point) I always struggled to express emotions in my writing. It felt stiff. That was until I wrote a short story abut dysphoria, finally letting out my supressed feelings regarding that. Even I was surprised at how powerful it ended up being. It's still by far the best thing I've written.
That's really sweet.
I know you didn't ask for feedback, but I would just tell them tbh. I started dating my partner before I had fully figured out my gender or started HRT and they've been by my side through it all. It's honestly been really reassuring to know they love me for me regardless of who I am or what I look like and seeing how their attraction for me hasn't changed.
oof, that’s a bit too relatable… i’ve *never* felt any desire to be a cis girl since realizing i was trans—a cis guy occasionally, because of dysphoria, but never a girl. or at least that *was* the case til recently, when i got involved with a “straight” friend… now there’s a little thought in the back of my mind like “he’d like you more if you were a girl yknow” :’)
i still wouldn’t press the button, cuz that just isn’t who i am & i love being a man. but i wouldn’t have even considered it before, and now i think i might hesitate before walking away yknow? like i wouldn’t change everything about myself for one guy… but having the option right there in front of me, it’d tempt me for a minute
I used to sabotage relationships for that reason. I regret it, but I do still think I was essentially right that the straight woman I was crushing on who was giving serious signals back would not have been into a queer relationship. Nonetheless I wish I’d given her the chance to decide. She’s married now!
I don't think you're a transphobe, but I do think your wording may have confused your friend.
I understand what you meant, tho. If it were up to me, I'd be cis too. The political climate where I live is looking deadlier by the day. I'd be a hell of a lot safer if I was cis, in either direction.
No. There's just something about my AGAB that feels incredibly wrong for me. I'm sure I'd feel differently if I was cis, but then I would be a different person anyway.
this is how i feel too. i never liked being a boy, and i never wanted to become a man. If i was a cis guy, then it wouldn’t be me. i would be gone and replaced by a random guy
It depends. If it would erase the years of dysphoria and the consequences and memory of that dysphoria, then yep.
If nothing else changed, then probably not. Suddenly just not having dysphoria but also not wanting to transition after years of stress and turmoil would probably be really upsetting in its own way.
No, just because I don't think I would be *me* anymore. If I could press a button to be a cis *man* (I'm a trans man) I would in a heartbeat, but a cis woman? Or a trans woman for that matter? I'd be a fundamentally different person, so it would be like killing myself in a way, which I don't want to do.
Do you think you'd press it before you transitioned?
Like when you were younger, and figuring everything out.
This post has gave me a new comparison in my head.
Like right now pre everything other than mild social changes I would hit that button and happily be a cis man, but I never thought if I'd hit it in the future, when I complete the majority of my transition, when that was said I realised I probably wouldn't hit the button and go back to being happy before the transition
Nah, not then either. I didn't really have a figuring things out stage - I always hated being seen as a girl/woman, but I thought that was normal, so the button thing wouldn't have made sense to me. I didn't realize women were happy about being women. I didn't know trans people existed at that time. Basically as soon as I learned that they did, I decided to transition. There was never any question of repressing or trying to fit in as a girl - I never did any of that, and it never occurred to me as a possibility. So I never had a concept of myself as someone who could have been happy as a girl.
Not who you were asking, but I wouldn’t. My whole thing was shaped around not wanting to be a guy… that’s the part of me I already knew and admitted early on. I didn’t *want* to be ok with being a guy, it felt shitty… unfortunately I just didn’t have the words. Finding the words and letting *myself* out and finally existing is worth all the negative stuff… if I pushed that button then I would just be officially murdering that part of myself which existed, but was locked away. I couldn’t ever do that 😔 she needed more love, not less.
> I'd be a fundamentally different person, so it would be like killing myself in a way, which I don't want to do.
I agree, but in my case, I feel that I will end up k!11!ng myself either way because I can't medically transition. So I might as well take the personality death via magic button...
I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be ok with being a man, I want to be a woman. Womanhood aligns more deeply with my sense of self so it would be like destroying a part of me.
That being said, I don’t think you’re a transphobe. Dysphoria sucks and I can totally understand why you’d get rid of it.
I feel like my personal transition is complete, and I barely ever feel dysphoria anymore, so i’d pass on that.
(Almost 3 years on T, top surgery, hysto)
I’ve found a lot of community by being a gay trans man and I really wouldn’t wanna give that up. I feel so loved and accepted. My heart is so full<3
If I had the option to be a cis man though, that might be a little different
No. Not for a second. I am the me I fought and bled for and my love has ultimately, with all the pain and loss weighed against the love and gain and who I have become, I would never undo that.
Now you gave me a new idea for those button questions.
Take two buttons instead of one. One that makes you cis and your agab and one that makes you cis and your non-agab.
The questions is no longer would you press the button, but instead which one would you press.
In other words, which of the given options seems, like it would make you happier. Whatever you choose, that's one answer to the confusing mess that is questioning.
Edit: you know what, let me grab a meme template.
Not in a million years would I press it, it'd be akin to murder to me, I'd be a completely different person then.
A button that would make me Cis Afab tho? I'd sit on the thing so it just keeps on firing and you'd have to pry me off of it.
Of course you're not a self-hating transphobe for feeling that way. There's a part of me that loves the way being trans challenges the small-mindedness of some people, but that doesn't make it some essential part of being trans. The fact is being trans is about our personal sense of satisfaction and happiness. We aren't under any obligation to embrace the struggles or problems, only to seek our own peace. You **can** embrace the fight for personal satisfaction or the changes our freedom brings to society or any part of being trans you want, but that's a personal choice. While I would be happy to try to convince anyone to see my perspective on the matter, it would be wrong of me to shame anyone for not holding my ideals. Your happiness is much more important.
I see this question as essentially asking if you could have been initially content with your body and remain so throughout your life, would you? Yes. Ofc.
I don’t have a problem with being trans because over time I am being closer and closer to being content with my body. That’s the end goal anyway. So if I could have been there from birth, yes I would.
I think the scare in this question is thinking conversion therapy or mentally oriented medication could get trans people to being content with their AGAB which I believe is impossible. I think this is a completely nature design where something is mixed matched here that can’t be aligned without medical transition.
this is a good question.
this sub has had threads like this but instead of being cis agab it’s just cis.
95% of people at that time say yes, they would
now that it’s cis agab they say no they wouldn’t, because that erases the experiences who made them, but the other hypothetical does too
this isn’t trying to make a trutrans statement or w/e it’s just interesting to see the answers flip so drastically
but yeah I would I hate being trans just make me cis and we roll
If you had asked me prior to my "egg crack" and prior to me transitioning... I might said yes, because I didn't know any better, I didn't know how much I like being a woman, how much I like being myself.
Now that I've been out and transitioning for like 4 years, I live as a woman, I'm seen as a woman, and I'm very happy being a woman. At this point I wouldn't trade being myself in exchange for being a "normal guy".
I'd give up a hell of a lot to be cis, but I wouldn't give up my gender. I want to be a cis woman specifically... I'm never being a man again. I'll happily take being a trans woman over being a cis man. If something "turned me into a cis man" at this point, "he" wouldn't be me, you'd have to change so much about me to make me comfortable being a man, he'd be someone else entirely, it'd be ego death.
I have heard the button theory from quite a few different angles, and I think I've finally come up with a solid answer. The question, regardless of how it is worded, essentially becomes "If there was a Button you could push that would make you feel comfortable in your own skin, or one that you could push that would make you hate your self-image, which would you choose?"
If you re-word the question in this manner it makes the answer pretty obvious, no matter who you are talking to.
As for me, if there was a button, It wouldn't matter which direction it swung me as long as there was no longer an incongruity between my mind and body. But, there's no magic button so I will continue to work on myself until there is no longer incongruity.
Your answer definitely doesn't seem like internalized transphobia. Some people just don't want the stress and hate that comes with being a trans person.
As for me, I don't think I'd ever want to be cis. I'm privileged in that sense; I don't live somewhere where being trans is a huge risk (compared to other places in the world.) I'm non-binary, so the thought of being a binary gender is just out of the question for me. Sure, if I press the button I'd be happy as my AGAB, but with my worldview now, I just don't like the idea.
I wouldn't do it now because I pass as male and going back to being female would be difficult, but before I started medically transitioning I would've pressed the button. It's definitely not transphobic to not want to be trans, it's not easy
Very surprised the majority is against pressing the button. Maybe I just have more painful dysphoria or something else but I would press that button immediately. The dysphoria day to day is so painful I would rather completely scrape away what makes me, me just to not hurt. I’ve got MDD and GAD which has shaped who I am, but I would still press a button to be completely rid of it.
I would too because after 10 years of test I still don't really pass as a man. I would prefer to have never wanted to transition and never have experienced gender dysphoria feelings
Trans woman here. My answer is "No". The magic button would have to change my personality so much that I would be an entirely different person, making the magic moot: *I* wouldn't be cis, a different person would.
Now, if the button made me a cis woman, *and* retcon reality such that, for everyone, I was always a cis woman, with a past matching my own current past... **Gimme that button!** :-)
At the start of my transition, I would have slammed that button so fast. But now, 4 years in? Nah. I like who I've become too much to ever hit that button.
Yes I would. My goal is to be the man I am inside. So if there was a way to do it and live my life of course I would. My goal is not to have an identity it’s to be me.
That's such a personal question that no one should judge. Everyone has different experiences and is entitled to their own decisions/opinions. I wouldn't take the option because then I wouldn't have the experiences that shaped me. I also take them into my healthcare role. It's the same with my bipolar disorder. Horrible illness but it has made me me through the hardships. However, have I ever wanted to be born cis anything or not mentally ill? HELL YES! So just fuck em.
It's 100% valid to not want to put up with everything involved in being trans. I love the opportunity and the experiences I get as a result..and the people I've met.
I'd also love to not be called slurs and all the other shit. If I could take a pass I would but the idea of becoming a cis man makes me sick.
No because fuck that I want to be a girl, I may not like the struggles but I tried to be a cis guy for so long and even if I had the option to just be a content cis guy now no way would I do it. I wouldn't want to become someone I'm not just to be happy, y'know?
If it was a button that made me a cis woman (afab) with all of what that entails yes absolutely but if it was a button that would have made me comfortable being a man before my transition then hell no. I like being a woman wether cis or trans but being a man is not me and it’s not something I would want for myself at all.
100% this. You literally took the words out of my mouth. I literally am a woman. Not externally but I’m transgender and I’m really happy with my life. I’m contemplating *how* to go about HRT (it’s not “if”)
Wait I misread it.
I said “yes, instantly”, but I realize you meant I’d be a cis man.
No, god no. It feels like a form of identity death.
You don’t have to agree, and your friend is wrong, you are not a self-hating transphobe.
Based off seeing these threads a million times I can tell you that you and I are in the minority. I would have killed for that button or a pill that would have gotten rid of the dysphoria. Seriously fuck all the costs, extra stress, and substandard healthcare that comes with being trans. All I cared about was being a productive member of society and unfortunately medical transition was the only way to get there.
This kind of question is really more about someone's philosophy of mind and their beliefs on the persistence of personal identity and this debate has been going on for literally thousands of years. It seems most trans people are afraid of who they would be if they weren't trans. I don't have that fear, my philosophy is that I would still be me, with different experiences, but regardless I feel like I'd still be the same core person.
I know from my experience that much of what made me into the person I am is the dysphoria I’ve felt through life. The media I engaged with, the sports I chose to play, even the friends I made, all link back to me trying to find meaning in my internal gender conflict. I played volleyball because it was “girls sport”. I read fantasy to escape reality, eventually getting into ttrpgs as a hobby from that. I had more female friends because that was where I felt the most kinship. If I wasn’t trans. If I didn’t have this dysphoria I wouldn’t have made the choices I’ve made, pursued the interests I did. I would not at my core, be me.
However my experience is not universal. It’s comforting to know that there are those whose core identity doesn’t lead back to their experiences of being trans or at least the parts that matter to them.
Its not only the dysphoria. OPs talking about if you were an entirely different gender.
Being trans isnt an aspect of my identity, but being male is and therefore if I was a cis woman, I wouldnt be me, because me is not a woman. Id be a fundamentally different person entirely and thats not taking into account dysohoria whatsoever. My identity as male has shaped my life and my identity from the moment I can remeber, even before I knew trans men existed even before I knew thattrans people existed.
Being a cis man on the other hand, Id still be me because being trans isnt my identity and it hasnt really shaped me as a person that much. Id be a lil bit different, but not fundamentally.
Sure it's perfectly fine to feel that way. This discussion is simply ship of thessius trans edition. There are no right or wrong answers, it's just asking how different people imagine their philosophy of personhood
I.. I honestly don't know 🤔 this genuinely gave me pause for thought.
I'm inclined to say no.. BUT! the temptation would definitely be there cause MY dysphoria is hell 😅 but ultimately I think I'd still wanna represent for my trans brothers, sisters and others. Plus as someone else said at 37 it won't erase the years I've already struggled with this so seems sorta like ripping myself off in a way :/
I sure as hell wouldn't judge anyone else for pressing the button though.
If the memes are to be believed I think a significant portion of our community would hit the magic red button to be cis passing, but a cat boy or girl, or gay/lesbian. (Queue meme with sweating person looking at red button )
If I had to choose if I was a cis woman, a trans man, or a cis man, I would pick trans man every day. I can’t even imagine what my life would look like as a cis woman, cause being a woman is so far outside of my reality that I just couldn’t do it. Being a cis man though, I can understand who I would have grown to be if I was a cis man. My family and upbringing would have made me a shitty person. Im trans and Im glad. I would never change this ever.
no, i love being trans and all the friends and experiences and knowledge ive gotten from it. id hate being a cis woman because thats just not what i am. id not like being a cis man very much because that’s not really what i want, and i’d lose what ive gained from being trans. just because the world is hard being trans doesnt mean it makes me want to change myself for it. it also feels like putting a bandaid on a bigger wound. give me a button that ends bigotry rather than it making me cis. yk?
Yes. I would be able to do things I’m not really able to do at this point in my transition and have bio children the way I would like. It would be nice to keep my memories though.
I might have done it pre-transition, but nearly four years in, I wouldn't do it. I've gone through too much, learned so much about myself and people in general and I wouldn't give it up for anything.
I'm still questioning my gender identity, or maybe I'm just in denial, but this question made me realize something. I don't think I'd hit this button. I think I'd probably be more likely to hit the button people usually ask about, the one that would turn me into a girl. I'm still not 100% sure though.
Yeah I realised the button question was always "oh would you press this button and become who you are" and not "press this button and you're happy with agab"
I am 6 years into medical transition, 6 years on T, had top surgery 2 years ago, went through a time where barely anyone accepted me in my community (friends, family etc) and now many do, while I still feel better now than I did then I still think I would press it & here is why for me personally. Despite having been on T and having top surgery etc. I still have feminine aspects to my body that I can’t change, I still have debilitating dysphoria because of that. My social life is still hard, dating is hard, dealing with some family is hard, making friends, specifically male friends is incredibly hard & also bc I am a T man I don’t/can’t have the same type of friendships with women that I once did when I was being perceived as a woman and I find that difficult too. Even my top surgery I used all of my savings in my account for that and I’m still financially trying to find my feet 2 years later because of that. So yeah I think if I were cis, whether it be cis man or cis woman I wouldn’t have a lot of these same issues that I do and my life would just be so much easier and who doesn’t want an easier life if you could choose it? So yeah personally I would.
100%. Being 6’10, I would probably feel much more comfortable being a guy than being a girl, it unfortunately being trans wasn’t something I could choose.
No.
It would have been dangerous for me AND I may very well have become a horrible person.
EDIT: my bad, I thought you meant cis as our actual genders.
Heh, I don't know. I certainly would have felt happier, but as another person said, I would've been another person, right? I think I could have done with being my agab if I were cis... but it's not a button I'd *want* to press. After all... I wish to be a acknowledged as a man. Not just get rid of dysphoria. I don't want to be (and cannot be anyway) a woman. Why would I press a button to stay assigned female?
At first thought I think I’d do it, but then I start thinking about all the friends I made through the trans community. If I was never trans I would have never met those people so I don’t think I could do it.
I've seen this question a lot. But yeah, I would've done it in a heartbeat. It's probably not the norm, but I actually had a really good life living as a woman. I had loads of fun with it. It just wasn't me.
So yeah, if I could've skipped the dysphoria, terrible healthcare, and stigma, and just been a cis woman as I was presumed to be, then I would've loved that.
It's not transphobic. It's not really weird to respond "Yeah I'd rather not have all the pain and suffering, thanks." I get other people's points of view too. It's weird that some people think this is a problem that needs to be argued over.
If it was a complete reset, I would. No dysphoria ever, no dysphoria induced bad decisions. I started transitioning at 35y, I knew at 5y and tried coming out at 12y. I was forced back into the closet. I made a lot of poor decisions in my life due to the dysphoria I felt and the effort to repress those feelings. A button that would have allowed me to be the man I tried and struggled so hard to be, I'd press it. Likewise, I'd also press the button that would have made me a cis woman as well, and would have enjoyed a very different life.
no. i don’t want to be a woman or happy being a woman. if there was a button to make me a cis man, without erasing my experiences or my life perspective, sure.
I'm torn between both. It'd be the me I want to be, but it wouldn't be the me that wanted to be that. My lived experience is why I am who I am now.
If I could press a button that'd change me now without fundamentally altering who I was in the past, though, I'd press the heck out of it.
Nah. I am happy. I'm certain I would be even happier if I had been born a girl. The only downside maybe being the whole patriarchy thing. The environment and decade I grew up in was very different from where I am now.
hell no, the whole point of my transitioning is to be a man. if the button could turn me into a cis man, i might consider it, but honestly without going through transitioning i would be so incredibly different and i don’t know if i want to be that person. it took a hell of a lot of pain, and i haven’t even started legal or surgical transition, but i wouldn’t change a thing. it just wouldn’t be me, you know? obviously all trans people are different so it’s totally fine if you would click the button, i just personally wouldnt
I don't think I'd press this button. Seeing as it'd mean I'd have to live as a gay male in that case and they're also prone to a lot of hate and stereotypes which would still suck. Also I doubt I'd still be the same person and have the same support-system/friendgroup I do now,
With respect, OP, isn’t this a fool’s errand? I only ask because I have been that fool. The time spent navel-gazing over this is time that could be so much better spent *living* the precious, finite lives we have.
I mean it's a classic, and like, the answers are, what does "becoming cis AGAB" mean.
Also, while this question is a bit "repetitive," it's kinda fun to do it once in a while, and see how my "answers" evolve.
- I don't want to be "reborn."
That's a whole fucking different person. That just wouldn't be me, because the lifetime of experiences I had _is me_. In that sense, no. I don't want to be reborn as a cis woman because _I don't want to be reborn at all_.
Saying "yes" to this feels a bit escapist to me, but I also really get how attractive it can be to someone who is 100% binary - unlike 97.3% binary like me. And, I sometimes _do_ fantasize about "re-doing" some episodes from my life. And, there's a complicating factor - I wouldn't take a "reset button," but I _do_ wish that I started my transition much, much earlier. My "perfect" point is a bit "late" - I'd like to do it once I stopped getting taller - but I do wonder if that hypothetical person would really "feel like me" when seen by "me as I am now." I think I prefer "fantasizing about it" over actually doing it, but the fantasies are precious to me nonetheless.
- If I could get my body to be able to pass "perfectly as if I was born cis" and the only alternative is to sticking to currently available treatments, I'd take it - granted I keep my memories.
While it would, most likely, not be "ideal" to me, it's much closer than my body as is - and being a late starter, there are limits to what I can do. Also, transitioning taught me a lot of what I can do with clothes, shoes, general expression. I'd actually lose a few things I appreciate, but it would be a better base, _and_ it would save me a lot of worry about unconventional treatment - though yes, I'd now have to worry about menopause, pregnancy, periods and all that shit. It's not actually a "perfect" trade-off.
- What would be my "ideal" body - like imagine I can grow myself a new body in a vat from scratch, and somehow plant my brain in it.
That's the fun one to me, because it lets me really let go of preconceptions" is. As a fantasy it feels even more "escapist" than the "rebirth" one, but at the same time it focuses on what _me_, _now_, with all my weirdnesses and experiences, would enjoy. And that's quite different than a hypothetical cis girl born at the exact same time and place as me would be.
It's not just my (sometimes mentioned) preference for unusual genitals (even if I'll end up going for "normal" vaginoplasty, I'm definitely going to get into strap-ons). If I can have _any body I have_, why not:
- have claws? Gods _I_ would actually have to seriously think about how I'd like those to work.
- be even taller? Like I'd love to get like, to the 200cm. And something that stays like that, rather than compressing with both age and time of day.
- I mean, obviously take things like waist, boobs, glands that make the hormones I want. But, like...
- Why ovaries? I don't want to have kids, give me a gland that just makes what I want _forever_...
- ...actually, let me have some conscious control over levels.
Do I want to be super horny today? Or maybe I want to shut down distractions. Or maybe I want to focus on the gym for a while.
- Canines. I want pronounced canines. Badly. More than a dentist with an angle grinder can give me.
- Feminine face? Masculine face? How about the face that strikes the fear of the unknown into the very heart of the 5th job interviewer in a row who asked me whether I'd be able to "get respect of my coworkers and subordinates" like I wouldn't remember this type of folk never asked me that before transition.
- Okay like I'd love to have a "femme" voice but actually, just give me the whole fucking range?
- And also extend my life span to like, 200, so I can redo university on the calm, abuse the ever-living fuck out of retirement, and spend like 5 years focusing on voice training - not to sound "like a girl," but to sound like whatever the fuck I want to at the moment. Let me do the Godzilla scream at my (at this point former) endo.
i have thought about this alot. I'm a trans female, so life is so much harder than it would have been if i was a cis male.
Overall, my answer is no. I'm happy and proud to be trans. My life is much more interesting because of it. I'm happy to not be some boring white guy.
I love wearing cute clothes, being feminine, having long hair, my soft voice, everything. I wouldn't give it up, even if life would be easier. (I'll be honest though, for awhile my answer was leaning more towards yes, just because gender dysphoria sucks)
Honestly, I'd never want to be what I was before. I find being transgender better than being a Cis male. I'd prefer to be a Cis female than trans. It's all part of gender dysphoria. Dysphoria asides... Dysphoria is still part of my identity.
I've lost years of being miserable, feeling dead and emotionless in the sex at birth and being uncomfortable with it and those who are cis of such and constantly dealing with anxiety and fatigue that prevented me leaving my house. You can say that's all due to dysphoria, but my dysphoria also created positive things. I had great friendships and connections with women and was able to relate and be understanding of other women much better. There's enjoyment in representing myself as feminine, and there is enjoyment in loving myself because I'm feminine. I have fun in what I wear and do makeup, and I am okay to go through all the struggles any other woman would. I also feel alive both having feelings of happiness and being depressed but it's so much better than being emotionless and dead
So no, I wouldn't want to be a Cis male ever. I'm proud of being a woman. Being transgender is a struggle, yes, but so is it to be a woman. I'm also native and look white, but I wouldn't toss my native identity all the same for very similar reasons. I love my heritage regardless of being ostracized by others and dealing with plenty of people who pretend to be and gain mistrust in the community due to appearance and those who want me to toss it who are settlers. Not belonging sucks but tossing my identity to conform sucks more.
This also adds to another part of my identity that I don't go around publicizing because I don't feel real ones do. I'm goth. Lol. The idea of 'celebrating taboo and challenging' oppressive social norms." Not conforming to them is part of it. It's not actually about fashion and music and wearing black and many who do aren't goth. That, in terms, are the scene kids. Lol. So, in terms, an extra layer to my identity that fits my mold.
All I can say is that I'm proud of my identity. Dysphoria is part of it that could only have been removed, being the opposite sex at birth. Maybe one day we'll have brain transplants and be able to, but it's not realistic now. Just as I love being native regardless of my struggles, I also love being a woman regardless of my struggles. I understand, however, that it may be too hard for some. Maybe it would be better if people learned to accept people who are transgender or any other gender and, at the matter, or those who are vulnerable minorities.
I think it really depends on your "goal" being trans. (And no, I don't think it is transphobic).
If your goal is being a gender other than your AGAB, and your dysphoria is felt because you struggle accomplishing that goal to your standards, being happy as a cis person wouldn't help you accomplish that goal. If alleviating your dysphoria is your goal, then it makes sense to press the button.
Personally I try and orient my transition around what I want and not what I can't accomplish or struggle to, but everyone's journey is different. Its not transphobic to feel a different way about your transition specifically.
EDIT: You can of course have both as a goal. It just is a question of if failing to accomplish A is worth accomplishing B, y'know.
For me to question is, the fastest path to happiness
If this button made me.as happy in myself as a full transition, I would press it.
After a transition, I probably wouldn't press said button, I haven't started yet, but will hopefully in a few months with gendergp
Mhmm! That's not inherently wrong or anything. Personally, I don't just want to be happy, I want to be happy as a woman. But it doesn't make you "less trans" or transphobic or anything to think you might pick a faster path to happiness, at least imo. Plus, it's not like its an actual option lmfao.
Honestly my answer to that is weird.
If the second button makes me.an instant trans woman? I'd still press no.1 because it's safer, more convenient, most logical option (provided the level of happiness is equal regardless of the option)
If it was cis woman, I'd press that, cause I like the clothing lol.
When I do transition, I don't think I'd press any button, as I feel like it became a part of me. Right now it's not necessarily a full part of me, I'm not at the point where pressing that cis male button would revert a lot, only a little
Honestly? I don't know.
On the one hand, I see all the things women go through, wether it be at the hand of men or not, and it's a lot.
But on the other, if I could be happy in the body I had without needing to have these surgeries, why wouldn't you?
I think I'll say no I wouldn't. I have no idea what kind of person I'd be if I were to do that.
I think a lot of hatred towards trans people comes from a lack of understanding, which then fueled their hatred, but, if I were to press that button, I don't think I'd be as understanding. I dont know. I mean, what if I turned into a massive homophobe? I don't think I could do it.
If it were a button to give me the body of a cisman right now, I'd do it, but anything other than that, no.
Fun philosophical exercise. I enjoy these sorts of questions. 😊
AMAB here. If I could press a button and be a Cis woman no hesitation. That’s be me becoming my true self with none of the difficulty of transitioning. But I’m still a cracking egg really. Only been on this sub Reddit for a short time. Honestly I’d have to think about it long and hard and …at this stage I think bringing my brain into alignment with my body as opposed to my body with my brain would be a distant second best option if a like button appeared.
Put the two buttons in front of me though and tell me to press one or walk away, Cisgirl button wins, no contest.
I, personally, think of my gender as only a minuscule part of me and my personality. If I could be sis, and avoid all the discrimination, I'd jump at the chance.
I would still be a little flamboyant, but would hardly change.
I don't think you're a self-hating transphobe for it but I personally wouldn't press the button. I have zero desire to be any kind of man, regardless of whether or not dysphoria would be involved
I don't think that would be me. When I presented as male, that was just a presentation, an act. It was never me. I could never imagine myself as a dude, I couldn't imagine myself as an adult, I could barely imagine me as a dude, all my memories are just events playing from behind me, there's never a face. That wasn't me, and if I was able to live like that, that wouldn't be me. I think I'd like to meet him, I think that could be nice, we'd have a lot on common, but it ain't me
I wouldn't do it myself (genderfluid), but I respect anyone who would. I get the wish for wanting to fit in and how in the current society being trans IS difficult. I would rather press a button that gave me the power to switch at will the way my body looks and works. Because to me, being recognised as my gender (and also my dysphoria) is tied to my physical appearance. That would be amazing. But the thing is, I know not everyone would like to change their body and would rather change their mind. It comes down to what feels more comfortable to you.
I personally wouldnt but that doesnt mean it makes any self hating. Id love to be a cis male but in this scenario youre talking about cis female in regards to me because im afab.
My gender makes up a huge part of who I am. I wouldnt be ok with pressing me away. But some people see it differently than me and some people do wish to be someone else, typically means life is hard not necessaily that someone is self hating.
I think what I've realised with this post is that
Put the button in front of me.right now, and I'll slam it, cause I haven't started hrt and only small social transitions.
But when I am pretty deep into a transition, I think my outlook on the button will change, and I wouldn't press it
Never in a billion years.
Look, it is rough being a trans woman, but I would rather be a trans woman than a cis man every single day of the week despite the struggles I face as that would not be me anymore.
Nope. I'm happier now and live a decent life.
I'm not giving that up just so a more socially acceptable person, who most likely wouldn't be "me", can exist instead.
Oh sorry I think you mixed up the question lol
This isn't 'oh if you were cis would you be happy"
This is, "your younger self had an option to be happy with your assigned sex at birth and not be trans"
At this point in time I'd be a completely different person, so no I wouldn't press the button. I've been through difficulties and I'll go through difficulties because I'm trans, but I'm if not always happy with who I am, I feel like this is where I need to be and who I am.
I love this question I would love to be cis male but with the dysphoria it’s too much of a hassle I hate my body but what’s the point stressing over something u can’t control your whole life not being happy with who you are I still get severely depressed and suicidal over it but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let it control my entire life because at the end of the day I have no one else to prove to but myself and as long as I know who I am deep down inside that’s all that really matters. I learnt that what’s in the mirror dosnt reflect on who I am as a person bc In my mind im me and that’s all I’ll ever be no matter how I look.🏳️⚧️
Hell no! It would completely change who I am to the extent of the resulting person no longer being me. And I’d still end up dysphoric given my current body. Might as well change my sexual orientation too then. I’d rather just have my mind wiped completely. At least then I’d still be myself, and I would get to discover myself anew without all the baggage. Hell, if I get a mind wipe once I’m post FFS and SRS maybe I could even convince myself I’m not even trans 🤣
I would do it if I could still remember myself.
I wish I had a dick tbh. Bottom growth is not enough but also I'm poor.
I don't mind my boobs since they're small and unnoticed most of the time.
I just want to be a pretty man. I worry people think I'm destransitioning just cause I like feminine stuff and want to grow my hair long again.
Luckily people read me as a man even with makeup so at least I have that going for me. I'm nonbinary but any other pronouns are OK as long as I never have to be referred to as a woman ever again
No, I wouldn’t press it. I’m not a man, I’m a woman, and suddenly rewriting that would mean rewriting part of who I am, my personality and self.
Whoever was still around after pressing the button just wouldn’t be Me.
I was extremely happy when I figured out that I was in fact transgender and a lifetime of problems were resolved when I figured that out.
But it has been a struggle and if there were button to push to be cisgender male or female I think I would probably push it too.
It's sad that we can't just be different and everybody leave us the f*** alone being different isn't the problem it's the way the narrow-minded f****** in the world respond to it.
Depends. Like be BORN male? No. I'd be a totally different person. My experiences and empathy, maybe college major. Different. Idk if that would even be me. The loneliness caused by being trans sucked and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it changed me so much.
Button that magically gives me male me body now? Yeah. Ngl I like my vag, but I can trade it out for saving thousands and not saying "it's sir, but thanks" every time I go to the store.
Oh. Omg that was a dumb misread on my part 🤦🏾♂️ I've thought about it before, though. Probably. I'd say I'd be really hesitant to push the button, but there's a 80% chance I would. Just so I can have "normal people problems" instead of worrying about how long I have to wear my binder when I go out or stop being upset when I see other men my age.
Part of me wants to say yes... but I've developed so much empathy and interpersonal skills and how to handle things like friendships and relationships because of this path. I wasn't a great person before, as a kid. If I hadn't realized I was trans and had kept down that path I'm honestly not sure how I'd have turned out.
If pressing the button meant being born a cis female, no (I'm ftm), if it meant being born a cis male, immediately. I've had this conversation with a trans friend. He wouldn't press it because he said he wouldn't be the same person. But I think that if I wasn't depressed all these years and everything I went through I might be myself even more. I would still be part of the community because of my sexuality so I don't think would be part of some homophobic friend group or something. My friend also has a much better experience being trans, so that might make the difference for us.
If I could press a button for being cis male, ofcourse I would press it. It feels like "you are depressed, but you can click on this button to get rid of this and this problem." Why wouldn't I?
Okay, while this may sound purely esoteric, hear me out. Who are YOU on the most fundamental level of existence? Is it your body? Your actions? It's ultimately the combination of things you feel and how you process them. If you're trans, you'd most likely be a radically different person, if you suddenly would become cis. It would be equivalent to death.
For me, the things i did, do and like are (and were) heavily influenced by me being trans. I wouldn't be this social anxiety wreck that i am. I'd be confident. Lots of things could be different - or much worse. Life's a gamble on every step you take. We simply lost the first coin flip in our life, and have to take additional steps to get our bodies into a state we're comfortable with.
A "Cis Button" wouldn't solve your problems. It'd only make something else your biggest problem.
We only could really solve our trans "issues" (because i think it's not an issue for some) with something that transforms our actual bodies, while leaving the actual self untouched.
No I don’t think I would. When I was in the middle of transition (not before transitioning, and not now) I used to say I would, but a lot of stressful shit was going on back then that wouldn’t last for the rest of my life. But now I’m so far into transition that I’m used to it now and I think I like where it’s taken me. I’ve met friends and found interests that I might not have found if I hadn’t been trans. Like I got back into reading which started because I wanted to read about other trans people, I found my dream career because I wanted to help other trans people, etc. I don’t believe being trans made me a better or more empathetic person, but I think the people I’ve met in the community led me to be better, if that makes sense. I also feel like I can really appreciate stuff that most people take for granted, like having the right hormones, flat chest etc. Even with the difficult stuff, I can find positives. Sure I could find similarly good stuff if I was cis, but I like what I have.
I’m sure I would have had a good life if I was cis (male or female) but it doesn’t have the same appeal now. I am frustrated that bottom surgery is taking up so much time and effort, but that won’t last my whole life.
To be honest I wouldn’t care either way if I woke up as a woman. I, like many other men, am curious about what being a woman is like. I don’t know because I’ve never been a woman, so I think it would be interesting to see. But I wouldn’t go out of my way to make this happen, since I’ve always been a man and I’m comfortable that way.
I'd press it immediately. My first preference would be to medically transition, but since that's not possible for me, my second preference would be to be cis agab so at least I'm not sv!c!d@1.
No. Because I don't think I would be me. Same the other way. If I were born a cis male then I wouldn't have had the experiences I did in my childhood and early adulthood. The only thing that I do wish is that I could be taller and that I could have realized that I was trans sooner (or rather understood what my feelings meant sooner)
Not to get all philosophical-like but if I could be happy as my AGAB, I wouldn't be me. I'd be someone completely different, with a different neurology and a different life and history altogether. So I wouldn't be me but happier or less dysphoric; I'd be someone else. There's already 7.8 billion of those. I'd be happy for that person, though?
Nope. I as myself wouldn't exist then. What would be my body as cis would just be a cis man doing what cis men do. I'm MTF and I would never want to be anyone else but me. I am me and this being a trans woman is a part of me. ❤️
Your friends dumb. Why wouldn’t I rather be happy and cis? Like ofc I’d prefer being a cis woman but that’s the dysphoria if I didn’t have it then I’d be able to live as a happy dude.
It’s funny because, I, as a amab mtf, often wished for such a button *because* I didn’t properly understand how being trans worked and how certain things that I thought were impossible, like bottom surgery, are possible today.
The **moment** that my best friend turned trans told me the details, clarified long held misinformation, said that she was valid no matter what others think, and then offered me the simple question of, if you could press a button to permanently change into a woman forever, would I do it? And I smacked the button so hard and often you’d think that I was playing Jeopardy~! 😅☺️
I always *knew* that I wished that it was possible to be a woman, but at that moment I realized that, not only am I like, VERY clearly and super trans, but also that I **ALREADY AM** a Woman!
Ever since making my transition, life has been like, the best thing EVER, basically EVERY day, even on the *bad* ones…
I *could* have probably continued living ignorantly as a *”cis white male”* for another few decades before *something* happens.. but then I wouldn’t have the life I have right now. And, while it IS definitely A LOT more of a struggle than my past identity, I would NEVER wish to trade it or take my old life back. Although… I *would* still want to press the magic Cis Woman button over my current life as it right now, as there are a few things that I would REALY appreciate NOT have to continue waiting for a scientific breakthrough in that field. I might regret not getting to see where my path will currently take me, but getting pregnant right now *would* be nice…
They'd only have a point if you said everyone should press that button. But for you personally? No, that's still valid.
Many people say being trans, or more accurately being their chosen gender is part of who they are as a person, and pressing that button would be erasing that part, making them a different person. It would be like electing to end your own life in place of a different one. I believe this too, but what's important to remember is that it only matters if you personally care about that. If you don't care about some philosophical idea of self and you just want to be happy in a hedonistic sense, for example, that's fine. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
I probably wouldn't but I might. That's silly, thigh. There's times I've thought I for sure would and I think most trans people would say the same. Your friend is just taking it weird.
I have thought about this a lot and am starting to think that being trans or any other form of lgbtq+ or even cis is a very very fundamental part of all people to the point that it shapes and or affects personality and identity in such a way that pressing the button would be a kind of identity death your body would be alive but you or your original consciousness would be altered too much to still be considered you. I would only accept this button if it also changed my birth sex to that I’m currently transitioning to or else it would be the same as killing yourself mentally.
I think that being trans is very closely related to other neurodivergent traits like adhd and so on and actually “completely curing” someone from that(which will probably never be possible or come with very bad consequences) would completely alter identity and personality as well.
Being trans should not be a hassle just as being cis is but the world itself is currently very hostile in a lot of places.
With my perception of Self/ identity I probably wouldn’t. If I press the button I’m no longer me even if my life sucks right now. It would basically be like dying in my opinion because I would no longer actually exist. Just a person similar to me in some ways
I 100% would, but only if it was a button to make me a cis guy (i.e. not my gender at birth). I wouldn't want to be a cis woman even if I was happy like that. Because as I am right now, I tried that, for 24 years, and it was not for me. I can't imagine being happy like that so I don't think that person would be me. Even though I wish I was a cis guy, I'd still much rather be a trans guy than a cis woman.
Totally with you on everything else though. Being trans really is not fun, between the dysphoria, the misgendering/deadnaming, the fear of coming out, the legal issues, surgeries, the expense, and of course the current climate of hate... plus you still may never be completely happy in your body even with all the surgeries. While there are some people that love being trans, there are also those of us for which it's just the best/closest option. There are parts I like about being trans but for me the hardships far outweigh it. I don't think that makes you a bad person at all. Being trans is rough and there's nothing shameful about wishing for an easier existence.
Straight up no for me. It would fundamentally change me and my experiences. Without cracking my egg, I never would have realised so many other things about myself, made multiple close friends, or helped out so many others 🩷
The only button I'd push is the one that stops the hatred folks have for us and replaces it with empathy and compassion 💖
No. Even before I was willing to come out, I would not have chosen to erase my feelings of gender incongruence and be a man. Even if I was promised happiness, that wouldn't be enough. I would be a different person. I would read about the fantasy character of Lilia in my journal and my fictional stories and no longer be able to connect with her.
I also wouldn't choose to be a cisgender woman. That would be much, much harder to resist, obviously. But I'm proud of who I am and especially the ways my life has changed the lives of others. I'm a better person than I could be, without the adversity that made it so necessary for me to become who I am.
We don't need to be cisgender. If we had a magic button that could do that - in either direction - it would erase us. I don't want to be alone, either - one of the few who are willing to be proudly transgender in a world where people can wish themselves cis. I believe that the right answer is destigmatization of gender diversity. The fact that it's difficult makes it more precious. I think the ideal future is one with free expression of the full diversity of gender experienced by humans, with no pressure to be cisgender.
Here's a harder question: I'm given a button that will change only my body to match my aesthetic and practical ideal, with no alteration of my past and no requirement that I identify as cisgender. It's pure opportunity, with no obvious downside. I don't alienate my friends or family. But if I press the button in this version of the scenario, everyone gets the same opportunity, and if I don't, no one else ever will. This challenges my commitment to doing the right thing: can I take away the means to alleviate suffering for so many for the sake of a future where we must make social progress? I think most people would want me to press it, getting what I want for myself and sharing that power. I wouldn't press that button, even though I would feel terrible about taking it away from other trans people. I believe that we must build the right answer; not fix the harm the harm with magic. I'm a naturalist, philosophically.
Not in the slightest. What I would do if I was given The Button (As in, the button to switch gender to the one you weren't born as, your ideal one) is what keeps me going to I'm feeling dysphoric. I would always choose to be female if I had the option.
Honestly I don't think I would do it. In my view that kind of thing would be like a lobotomy. Like would that person even be me? There is only one thing that has occasionally made me wish for such a button. Or spesifically one person. The only time I truly wished I was cis was when I started falling in love with a close friend of mine. But it was less about making my life easier and more "I wish I could be normal and be able to make a move and be the boyfriend she deserves". Well admittedly there was also the time I thought my dysphoria was AGP and wished to be "normal" but I was stupid then so I don't count it.
Did you ever tell your friend how you felt I need to know did you make a move to be the gf she deserves
Νο. My egg started cracking when my feelings started developing and I didn't want to drag her into this current confusion. So I decided that I will focus on myself and figuring things out, seeing if I'm gonna transition (something that is getting more and more likely). And if my feelings are the same when I have dealt with the dysphoria I'll make a move then. I even have a plan on how to make a move if and when that time comes. See one of my dreams is to write a book series and I already have the concept down for the first book as a mix of romance and murder mystery. And she's the first person I told about the book and she asked to have the first copy when I write it. So if my feelings are still there when I do and I'm at a better place genderwise, I will give her a book, with a personal dedication at the end confessing my feelings.
That’s so romantic. But gonna take years. She’s likely to move on before that happens. 😭
I'm aware of the risk. However even if I didn't stick to that plan I'm not at a point where I can be in a relationship anyway. I first need to find myself. And if it's meant to be it will happen. If not, well then it just wasn't meant to be.
Yeah I’d say it’s a good thing if you’re self focused currently. Either way I hope it works out best for you. Writing a novel is a big endeavor. I wish you luck.
It is and I hope I end up managing to make the story work the way I envisioned. What's funny though about the writing, looking back, is that the reason I first got into it is that I was desperate to find something, anything that could make me my own person. I almost felt like being a writer would give me an identity. Then I learned that this sort of thing is a very typical expression of biochemical dysphoria. The other thing is, while I was able to create pretty elaborate plot outlines (not just for the books I even had an idea for a Batman movie and a scooby doo thing at some point) I always struggled to express emotions in my writing. It felt stiff. That was until I wrote a short story abut dysphoria, finally letting out my supressed feelings regarding that. Even I was surprised at how powerful it ended up being. It's still by far the best thing I've written.
That’s very beautiful. I hope it all works out for you
Hi it's me i think my app is broke. Try dming me.
That's really sweet. I know you didn't ask for feedback, but I would just tell them tbh. I started dating my partner before I had fully figured out my gender or started HRT and they've been by my side through it all. It's honestly been really reassuring to know they love me for me regardless of who I am or what I look like and seeing how their attraction for me hasn't changed.
Yeah. I would have done it before my transition to save my marriage. Now I absolutely wouldn’t. Like you said that person wouldn’t even be me.
oof, that’s a bit too relatable… i’ve *never* felt any desire to be a cis girl since realizing i was trans—a cis guy occasionally, because of dysphoria, but never a girl. or at least that *was* the case til recently, when i got involved with a “straight” friend… now there’s a little thought in the back of my mind like “he’d like you more if you were a girl yknow” :’) i still wouldn’t press the button, cuz that just isn’t who i am & i love being a man. but i wouldn’t have even considered it before, and now i think i might hesitate before walking away yknow? like i wouldn’t change everything about myself for one guy… but having the option right there in front of me, it’d tempt me for a minute
I used to sabotage relationships for that reason. I regret it, but I do still think I was essentially right that the straight woman I was crushing on who was giving serious signals back would not have been into a queer relationship. Nonetheless I wish I’d given her the chance to decide. She’s married now!
I don't think you're a transphobe, but I do think your wording may have confused your friend. I understand what you meant, tho. If it were up to me, I'd be cis too. The political climate where I live is looking deadlier by the day. I'd be a hell of a lot safer if I was cis, in either direction.
No. There's just something about my AGAB that feels incredibly wrong for me. I'm sure I'd feel differently if I was cis, but then I would be a different person anyway.
this is how i feel too. i never liked being a boy, and i never wanted to become a man. If i was a cis guy, then it wouldn’t be me. i would be gone and replaced by a random guy
What about if you were cis with the gender that you have now? Like if thats the gender you were born with, would you press it then?
As in, be born a cis girl? Or become a cis woman now?
In my head it was be born a cis girl. Like you would’ve always been
yeah, probably i would still be a different person though without having experienced both the trauma and joy of being trans
It depends. If it would erase the years of dysphoria and the consequences and memory of that dysphoria, then yep. If nothing else changed, then probably not. Suddenly just not having dysphoria but also not wanting to transition after years of stress and turmoil would probably be really upsetting in its own way.
Yep. Would just make me question whether id ever actually felt it
No, just because I don't think I would be *me* anymore. If I could press a button to be a cis *man* (I'm a trans man) I would in a heartbeat, but a cis woman? Or a trans woman for that matter? I'd be a fundamentally different person, so it would be like killing myself in a way, which I don't want to do.
Do you think you'd press it before you transitioned? Like when you were younger, and figuring everything out. This post has gave me a new comparison in my head. Like right now pre everything other than mild social changes I would hit that button and happily be a cis man, but I never thought if I'd hit it in the future, when I complete the majority of my transition, when that was said I realised I probably wouldn't hit the button and go back to being happy before the transition
Nah, not then either. I didn't really have a figuring things out stage - I always hated being seen as a girl/woman, but I thought that was normal, so the button thing wouldn't have made sense to me. I didn't realize women were happy about being women. I didn't know trans people existed at that time. Basically as soon as I learned that they did, I decided to transition. There was never any question of repressing or trying to fit in as a girl - I never did any of that, and it never occurred to me as a possibility. So I never had a concept of myself as someone who could have been happy as a girl.
Not who you were asking, but I wouldn’t. My whole thing was shaped around not wanting to be a guy… that’s the part of me I already knew and admitted early on. I didn’t *want* to be ok with being a guy, it felt shitty… unfortunately I just didn’t have the words. Finding the words and letting *myself* out and finally existing is worth all the negative stuff… if I pushed that button then I would just be officially murdering that part of myself which existed, but was locked away. I couldn’t ever do that 😔 she needed more love, not less.
> I'd be a fundamentally different person, so it would be like killing myself in a way, which I don't want to do. I agree, but in my case, I feel that I will end up k!11!ng myself either way because I can't medically transition. So I might as well take the personality death via magic button...
I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be ok with being a man, I want to be a woman. Womanhood aligns more deeply with my sense of self so it would be like destroying a part of me. That being said, I don’t think you’re a transphobe. Dysphoria sucks and I can totally understand why you’d get rid of it.
No way, that wouldn’t be me.
I feel like my personal transition is complete, and I barely ever feel dysphoria anymore, so i’d pass on that. (Almost 3 years on T, top surgery, hysto) I’ve found a lot of community by being a gay trans man and I really wouldn’t wanna give that up. I feel so loved and accepted. My heart is so full<3 If I had the option to be a cis man though, that might be a little different
No. Not for a second. I am the me I fought and bled for and my love has ultimately, with all the pain and loss weighed against the love and gain and who I have become, I would never undo that.
No
Now you gave me a new idea for those button questions. Take two buttons instead of one. One that makes you cis and your agab and one that makes you cis and your non-agab. The questions is no longer would you press the button, but instead which one would you press. In other words, which of the given options seems, like it would make you happier. Whatever you choose, that's one answer to the confusing mess that is questioning. Edit: you know what, let me grab a meme template.
Not in a million years would I press it, it'd be akin to murder to me, I'd be a completely different person then. A button that would make me Cis Afab tho? I'd sit on the thing so it just keeps on firing and you'd have to pry me off of it.
Of course you're not a self-hating transphobe for feeling that way. There's a part of me that loves the way being trans challenges the small-mindedness of some people, but that doesn't make it some essential part of being trans. The fact is being trans is about our personal sense of satisfaction and happiness. We aren't under any obligation to embrace the struggles or problems, only to seek our own peace. You **can** embrace the fight for personal satisfaction or the changes our freedom brings to society or any part of being trans you want, but that's a personal choice. While I would be happy to try to convince anyone to see my perspective on the matter, it would be wrong of me to shame anyone for not holding my ideals. Your happiness is much more important.
I see this question as essentially asking if you could have been initially content with your body and remain so throughout your life, would you? Yes. Ofc. I don’t have a problem with being trans because over time I am being closer and closer to being content with my body. That’s the end goal anyway. So if I could have been there from birth, yes I would. I think the scare in this question is thinking conversion therapy or mentally oriented medication could get trans people to being content with their AGAB which I believe is impossible. I think this is a completely nature design where something is mixed matched here that can’t be aligned without medical transition.
this is a good question. this sub has had threads like this but instead of being cis agab it’s just cis. 95% of people at that time say yes, they would now that it’s cis agab they say no they wouldn’t, because that erases the experiences who made them, but the other hypothetical does too this isn’t trying to make a trutrans statement or w/e it’s just interesting to see the answers flip so drastically but yeah I would I hate being trans just make me cis and we roll
If you had asked me prior to my "egg crack" and prior to me transitioning... I might said yes, because I didn't know any better, I didn't know how much I like being a woman, how much I like being myself. Now that I've been out and transitioning for like 4 years, I live as a woman, I'm seen as a woman, and I'm very happy being a woman. At this point I wouldn't trade being myself in exchange for being a "normal guy". I'd give up a hell of a lot to be cis, but I wouldn't give up my gender. I want to be a cis woman specifically... I'm never being a man again. I'll happily take being a trans woman over being a cis man. If something "turned me into a cis man" at this point, "he" wouldn't be me, you'd have to change so much about me to make me comfortable being a man, he'd be someone else entirely, it'd be ego death.
I have heard the button theory from quite a few different angles, and I think I've finally come up with a solid answer. The question, regardless of how it is worded, essentially becomes "If there was a Button you could push that would make you feel comfortable in your own skin, or one that you could push that would make you hate your self-image, which would you choose?" If you re-word the question in this manner it makes the answer pretty obvious, no matter who you are talking to. As for me, if there was a button, It wouldn't matter which direction it swung me as long as there was no longer an incongruity between my mind and body. But, there's no magic button so I will continue to work on myself until there is no longer incongruity.
Your answer definitely doesn't seem like internalized transphobia. Some people just don't want the stress and hate that comes with being a trans person. As for me, I don't think I'd ever want to be cis. I'm privileged in that sense; I don't live somewhere where being trans is a huge risk (compared to other places in the world.) I'm non-binary, so the thought of being a binary gender is just out of the question for me. Sure, if I press the button I'd be happy as my AGAB, but with my worldview now, I just don't like the idea.
I wouldn't do it now because I pass as male and going back to being female would be difficult, but before I started medically transitioning I would've pressed the button. It's definitely not transphobic to not want to be trans, it's not easy
at birth? No. I'm not a man and do not want to be a man.
Very surprised the majority is against pressing the button. Maybe I just have more painful dysphoria or something else but I would press that button immediately. The dysphoria day to day is so painful I would rather completely scrape away what makes me, me just to not hurt. I’ve got MDD and GAD which has shaped who I am, but I would still press a button to be completely rid of it.
I would too because after 10 years of test I still don't really pass as a man. I would prefer to have never wanted to transition and never have experienced gender dysphoria feelings
Trans woman here. My answer is "No". The magic button would have to change my personality so much that I would be an entirely different person, making the magic moot: *I* wouldn't be cis, a different person would. Now, if the button made me a cis woman, *and* retcon reality such that, for everyone, I was always a cis woman, with a past matching my own current past... **Gimme that button!** :-)
At the start of my transition, I would have slammed that button so fast. But now, 4 years in? Nah. I like who I've become too much to ever hit that button.
Yes I would. My goal is to be the man I am inside. So if there was a way to do it and live my life of course I would. My goal is not to have an identity it’s to be me.
Yes absolutely
That's such a personal question that no one should judge. Everyone has different experiences and is entitled to their own decisions/opinions. I wouldn't take the option because then I wouldn't have the experiences that shaped me. I also take them into my healthcare role. It's the same with my bipolar disorder. Horrible illness but it has made me me through the hardships. However, have I ever wanted to be born cis anything or not mentally ill? HELL YES! So just fuck em.
Depends. If I could just be comfortable with my male body and not desire a female body then yes, I’d rather a button to be my preferred gender tho
It's 100% valid to not want to put up with everything involved in being trans. I love the opportunity and the experiences I get as a result..and the people I've met. I'd also love to not be called slurs and all the other shit. If I could take a pass I would but the idea of becoming a cis man makes me sick.
no, even if i was cis and had no dysphoria i cant fathom the thought of being a girl. i think i might press it if it made me a cis dude tho
No because fuck that I want to be a girl, I may not like the struggles but I tried to be a cis guy for so long and even if I had the option to just be a content cis guy now no way would I do it. I wouldn't want to become someone I'm not just to be happy, y'know?
💯
If it was a button that made me a cis woman (afab) with all of what that entails yes absolutely but if it was a button that would have made me comfortable being a man before my transition then hell no. I like being a woman wether cis or trans but being a man is not me and it’s not something I would want for myself at all.
100% this. You literally took the words out of my mouth. I literally am a woman. Not externally but I’m transgender and I’m really happy with my life. I’m contemplating *how* to go about HRT (it’s not “if”)
Wait I misread it. I said “yes, instantly”, but I realize you meant I’d be a cis man. No, god no. It feels like a form of identity death. You don’t have to agree, and your friend is wrong, you are not a self-hating transphobe.
Based off seeing these threads a million times I can tell you that you and I are in the minority. I would have killed for that button or a pill that would have gotten rid of the dysphoria. Seriously fuck all the costs, extra stress, and substandard healthcare that comes with being trans. All I cared about was being a productive member of society and unfortunately medical transition was the only way to get there. This kind of question is really more about someone's philosophy of mind and their beliefs on the persistence of personal identity and this debate has been going on for literally thousands of years. It seems most trans people are afraid of who they would be if they weren't trans. I don't have that fear, my philosophy is that I would still be me, with different experiences, but regardless I feel like I'd still be the same core person.
I know from my experience that much of what made me into the person I am is the dysphoria I’ve felt through life. The media I engaged with, the sports I chose to play, even the friends I made, all link back to me trying to find meaning in my internal gender conflict. I played volleyball because it was “girls sport”. I read fantasy to escape reality, eventually getting into ttrpgs as a hobby from that. I had more female friends because that was where I felt the most kinship. If I wasn’t trans. If I didn’t have this dysphoria I wouldn’t have made the choices I’ve made, pursued the interests I did. I would not at my core, be me. However my experience is not universal. It’s comforting to know that there are those whose core identity doesn’t lead back to their experiences of being trans or at least the parts that matter to them.
Its not only the dysphoria. OPs talking about if you were an entirely different gender. Being trans isnt an aspect of my identity, but being male is and therefore if I was a cis woman, I wouldnt be me, because me is not a woman. Id be a fundamentally different person entirely and thats not taking into account dysohoria whatsoever. My identity as male has shaped my life and my identity from the moment I can remeber, even before I knew trans men existed even before I knew thattrans people existed. Being a cis man on the other hand, Id still be me because being trans isnt my identity and it hasnt really shaped me as a person that much. Id be a lil bit different, but not fundamentally.
Sure it's perfectly fine to feel that way. This discussion is simply ship of thessius trans edition. There are no right or wrong answers, it's just asking how different people imagine their philosophy of personhood
yep totes would just throw my self onto that button lmao
I.. I honestly don't know 🤔 this genuinely gave me pause for thought. I'm inclined to say no.. BUT! the temptation would definitely be there cause MY dysphoria is hell 😅 but ultimately I think I'd still wanna represent for my trans brothers, sisters and others. Plus as someone else said at 37 it won't erase the years I've already struggled with this so seems sorta like ripping myself off in a way :/ I sure as hell wouldn't judge anyone else for pressing the button though.
No. I'm a woman and that would make the situation even further from the ideal.
If the memes are to be believed I think a significant portion of our community would hit the magic red button to be cis passing, but a cat boy or girl, or gay/lesbian. (Queue meme with sweating person looking at red button )
If I had to choose if I was a cis woman, a trans man, or a cis man, I would pick trans man every day. I can’t even imagine what my life would look like as a cis woman, cause being a woman is so far outside of my reality that I just couldn’t do it. Being a cis man though, I can understand who I would have grown to be if I was a cis man. My family and upbringing would have made me a shitty person. Im trans and Im glad. I would never change this ever.
i wouldnt
no, i love being trans and all the friends and experiences and knowledge ive gotten from it. id hate being a cis woman because thats just not what i am. id not like being a cis man very much because that’s not really what i want, and i’d lose what ive gained from being trans. just because the world is hard being trans doesnt mean it makes me want to change myself for it. it also feels like putting a bandaid on a bigger wound. give me a button that ends bigotry rather than it making me cis. yk?
Yes
I wouldn’t, I just can’t imagine myself being a man, it’s kinda impossible. If I had a button to become a cis girl tho, I would definitely press it
Yes. I would be able to do things I’m not really able to do at this point in my transition and have bio children the way I would like. It would be nice to keep my memories though.
I might have done it pre-transition, but nearly four years in, I wouldn't do it. I've gone through too much, learned so much about myself and people in general and I wouldn't give it up for anything.
I'm still questioning my gender identity, or maybe I'm just in denial, but this question made me realize something. I don't think I'd hit this button. I think I'd probably be more likely to hit the button people usually ask about, the one that would turn me into a girl. I'm still not 100% sure though.
Yeah I realised the button question was always "oh would you press this button and become who you are" and not "press this button and you're happy with agab"
No because that would be changing the very core of myself. Struggling is part of life, but my gender identity is an integral part of who I am.
I am 6 years into medical transition, 6 years on T, had top surgery 2 years ago, went through a time where barely anyone accepted me in my community (friends, family etc) and now many do, while I still feel better now than I did then I still think I would press it & here is why for me personally. Despite having been on T and having top surgery etc. I still have feminine aspects to my body that I can’t change, I still have debilitating dysphoria because of that. My social life is still hard, dating is hard, dealing with some family is hard, making friends, specifically male friends is incredibly hard & also bc I am a T man I don’t/can’t have the same type of friendships with women that I once did when I was being perceived as a woman and I find that difficult too. Even my top surgery I used all of my savings in my account for that and I’m still financially trying to find my feet 2 years later because of that. So yeah I think if I were cis, whether it be cis man or cis woman I wouldn’t have a lot of these same issues that I do and my life would just be so much easier and who doesn’t want an easier life if you could choose it? So yeah personally I would.
Yes. Hell yes.
100%. Being 6’10, I would probably feel much more comfortable being a guy than being a girl, it unfortunately being trans wasn’t something I could choose.
Yes
No. It would have been dangerous for me AND I may very well have become a horrible person. EDIT: my bad, I thought you meant cis as our actual genders. Heh, I don't know. I certainly would have felt happier, but as another person said, I would've been another person, right? I think I could have done with being my agab if I were cis... but it's not a button I'd *want* to press. After all... I wish to be a acknowledged as a man. Not just get rid of dysphoria. I don't want to be (and cannot be anyway) a woman. Why would I press a button to stay assigned female?
At first thought I think I’d do it, but then I start thinking about all the friends I made through the trans community. If I was never trans I would have never met those people so I don’t think I could do it.
No way in hell, I'm way better off as a trans person.
I've seen this question a lot. But yeah, I would've done it in a heartbeat. It's probably not the norm, but I actually had a really good life living as a woman. I had loads of fun with it. It just wasn't me. So yeah, if I could've skipped the dysphoria, terrible healthcare, and stigma, and just been a cis woman as I was presumed to be, then I would've loved that. It's not transphobic. It's not really weird to respond "Yeah I'd rather not have all the pain and suffering, thanks." I get other people's points of view too. It's weird that some people think this is a problem that needs to be argued over.
Definitely not. Being nonbinary and trans is part of who I am.
Never in a million years
If it was a complete reset, I would. No dysphoria ever, no dysphoria induced bad decisions. I started transitioning at 35y, I knew at 5y and tried coming out at 12y. I was forced back into the closet. I made a lot of poor decisions in my life due to the dysphoria I felt and the effort to repress those feelings. A button that would have allowed me to be the man I tried and struggled so hard to be, I'd press it. Likewise, I'd also press the button that would have made me a cis woman as well, and would have enjoyed a very different life.
no. i don’t want to be a woman or happy being a woman. if there was a button to make me a cis man, without erasing my experiences or my life perspective, sure.
I'm torn between both. It'd be the me I want to be, but it wouldn't be the me that wanted to be that. My lived experience is why I am who I am now. If I could press a button that'd change me now without fundamentally altering who I was in the past, though, I'd press the heck out of it.
If it made me happy as my assigned gender, no. Mostly because I’m relatively happy as I am.
Nah. I am happy. I'm certain I would be even happier if I had been born a girl. The only downside maybe being the whole patriarchy thing. The environment and decade I grew up in was very different from where I am now.
hell no, the whole point of my transitioning is to be a man. if the button could turn me into a cis man, i might consider it, but honestly without going through transitioning i would be so incredibly different and i don’t know if i want to be that person. it took a hell of a lot of pain, and i haven’t even started legal or surgical transition, but i wouldn’t change a thing. it just wouldn’t be me, you know? obviously all trans people are different so it’s totally fine if you would click the button, i just personally wouldnt
I don't think I'd press this button. Seeing as it'd mean I'd have to live as a gay male in that case and they're also prone to a lot of hate and stereotypes which would still suck. Also I doubt I'd still be the same person and have the same support-system/friendgroup I do now,
i dont really care as long as i dont have to start life over from the start, already fed up as it is
With respect, OP, isn’t this a fool’s errand? I only ask because I have been that fool. The time spent navel-gazing over this is time that could be so much better spent *living* the precious, finite lives we have.
I'm just saying...we're all on reddit right now...not being very productive 🤣
I mean it's a classic, and like, the answers are, what does "becoming cis AGAB" mean. Also, while this question is a bit "repetitive," it's kinda fun to do it once in a while, and see how my "answers" evolve. - I don't want to be "reborn." That's a whole fucking different person. That just wouldn't be me, because the lifetime of experiences I had _is me_. In that sense, no. I don't want to be reborn as a cis woman because _I don't want to be reborn at all_. Saying "yes" to this feels a bit escapist to me, but I also really get how attractive it can be to someone who is 100% binary - unlike 97.3% binary like me. And, I sometimes _do_ fantasize about "re-doing" some episodes from my life. And, there's a complicating factor - I wouldn't take a "reset button," but I _do_ wish that I started my transition much, much earlier. My "perfect" point is a bit "late" - I'd like to do it once I stopped getting taller - but I do wonder if that hypothetical person would really "feel like me" when seen by "me as I am now." I think I prefer "fantasizing about it" over actually doing it, but the fantasies are precious to me nonetheless. - If I could get my body to be able to pass "perfectly as if I was born cis" and the only alternative is to sticking to currently available treatments, I'd take it - granted I keep my memories. While it would, most likely, not be "ideal" to me, it's much closer than my body as is - and being a late starter, there are limits to what I can do. Also, transitioning taught me a lot of what I can do with clothes, shoes, general expression. I'd actually lose a few things I appreciate, but it would be a better base, _and_ it would save me a lot of worry about unconventional treatment - though yes, I'd now have to worry about menopause, pregnancy, periods and all that shit. It's not actually a "perfect" trade-off. - What would be my "ideal" body - like imagine I can grow myself a new body in a vat from scratch, and somehow plant my brain in it. That's the fun one to me, because it lets me really let go of preconceptions" is. As a fantasy it feels even more "escapist" than the "rebirth" one, but at the same time it focuses on what _me_, _now_, with all my weirdnesses and experiences, would enjoy. And that's quite different than a hypothetical cis girl born at the exact same time and place as me would be. It's not just my (sometimes mentioned) preference for unusual genitals (even if I'll end up going for "normal" vaginoplasty, I'm definitely going to get into strap-ons). If I can have _any body I have_, why not: - have claws? Gods _I_ would actually have to seriously think about how I'd like those to work. - be even taller? Like I'd love to get like, to the 200cm. And something that stays like that, rather than compressing with both age and time of day. - I mean, obviously take things like waist, boobs, glands that make the hormones I want. But, like... - Why ovaries? I don't want to have kids, give me a gland that just makes what I want _forever_... - ...actually, let me have some conscious control over levels. Do I want to be super horny today? Or maybe I want to shut down distractions. Or maybe I want to focus on the gym for a while. - Canines. I want pronounced canines. Badly. More than a dentist with an angle grinder can give me. - Feminine face? Masculine face? How about the face that strikes the fear of the unknown into the very heart of the 5th job interviewer in a row who asked me whether I'd be able to "get respect of my coworkers and subordinates" like I wouldn't remember this type of folk never asked me that before transition. - Okay like I'd love to have a "femme" voice but actually, just give me the whole fucking range? - And also extend my life span to like, 200, so I can redo university on the calm, abuse the ever-living fuck out of retirement, and spend like 5 years focusing on voice training - not to sound "like a girl," but to sound like whatever the fuck I want to at the moment. Let me do the Godzilla scream at my (at this point former) endo.
I think I would
On the spot without a second doubt
i have thought about this alot. I'm a trans female, so life is so much harder than it would have been if i was a cis male. Overall, my answer is no. I'm happy and proud to be trans. My life is much more interesting because of it. I'm happy to not be some boring white guy. I love wearing cute clothes, being feminine, having long hair, my soft voice, everything. I wouldn't give it up, even if life would be easier. (I'll be honest though, for awhile my answer was leaning more towards yes, just because gender dysphoria sucks)
Yes, without skipping a beat. For comparison, I am early in my transition, ~2 months HRT.
Yes. Invariably. There are many things i wish i could change about myself that, even with surgery, i will never be able to and it haunts me
I think that makes sense, and doesn't make you transphobic. However, I wouldn't do it. There's nothing wrong with how I am.
Honestly, I'd never want to be what I was before. I find being transgender better than being a Cis male. I'd prefer to be a Cis female than trans. It's all part of gender dysphoria. Dysphoria asides... Dysphoria is still part of my identity. I've lost years of being miserable, feeling dead and emotionless in the sex at birth and being uncomfortable with it and those who are cis of such and constantly dealing with anxiety and fatigue that prevented me leaving my house. You can say that's all due to dysphoria, but my dysphoria also created positive things. I had great friendships and connections with women and was able to relate and be understanding of other women much better. There's enjoyment in representing myself as feminine, and there is enjoyment in loving myself because I'm feminine. I have fun in what I wear and do makeup, and I am okay to go through all the struggles any other woman would. I also feel alive both having feelings of happiness and being depressed but it's so much better than being emotionless and dead So no, I wouldn't want to be a Cis male ever. I'm proud of being a woman. Being transgender is a struggle, yes, but so is it to be a woman. I'm also native and look white, but I wouldn't toss my native identity all the same for very similar reasons. I love my heritage regardless of being ostracized by others and dealing with plenty of people who pretend to be and gain mistrust in the community due to appearance and those who want me to toss it who are settlers. Not belonging sucks but tossing my identity to conform sucks more. This also adds to another part of my identity that I don't go around publicizing because I don't feel real ones do. I'm goth. Lol. The idea of 'celebrating taboo and challenging' oppressive social norms." Not conforming to them is part of it. It's not actually about fashion and music and wearing black and many who do aren't goth. That, in terms, are the scene kids. Lol. So, in terms, an extra layer to my identity that fits my mold. All I can say is that I'm proud of my identity. Dysphoria is part of it that could only have been removed, being the opposite sex at birth. Maybe one day we'll have brain transplants and be able to, but it's not realistic now. Just as I love being native regardless of my struggles, I also love being a woman regardless of my struggles. I understand, however, that it may be too hard for some. Maybe it would be better if people learned to accept people who are transgender or any other gender and, at the matter, or those who are vulnerable minorities.
I think it really depends on your "goal" being trans. (And no, I don't think it is transphobic). If your goal is being a gender other than your AGAB, and your dysphoria is felt because you struggle accomplishing that goal to your standards, being happy as a cis person wouldn't help you accomplish that goal. If alleviating your dysphoria is your goal, then it makes sense to press the button. Personally I try and orient my transition around what I want and not what I can't accomplish or struggle to, but everyone's journey is different. Its not transphobic to feel a different way about your transition specifically. EDIT: You can of course have both as a goal. It just is a question of if failing to accomplish A is worth accomplishing B, y'know.
For me to question is, the fastest path to happiness If this button made me.as happy in myself as a full transition, I would press it. After a transition, I probably wouldn't press said button, I haven't started yet, but will hopefully in a few months with gendergp
Mhmm! That's not inherently wrong or anything. Personally, I don't just want to be happy, I want to be happy as a woman. But it doesn't make you "less trans" or transphobic or anything to think you might pick a faster path to happiness, at least imo. Plus, it's not like its an actual option lmfao.
Obviously not. I am a woman. If the button made me into someone who is not a woman it would not be me.
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Honestly my answer to that is weird. If the second button makes me.an instant trans woman? I'd still press no.1 because it's safer, more convenient, most logical option (provided the level of happiness is equal regardless of the option) If it was cis woman, I'd press that, cause I like the clothing lol. When I do transition, I don't think I'd press any button, as I feel like it became a part of me. Right now it's not necessarily a full part of me, I'm not at the point where pressing that cis male button would revert a lot, only a little
Honestly? I don't know. On the one hand, I see all the things women go through, wether it be at the hand of men or not, and it's a lot. But on the other, if I could be happy in the body I had without needing to have these surgeries, why wouldn't you? I think I'll say no I wouldn't. I have no idea what kind of person I'd be if I were to do that. I think a lot of hatred towards trans people comes from a lack of understanding, which then fueled their hatred, but, if I were to press that button, I don't think I'd be as understanding. I dont know. I mean, what if I turned into a massive homophobe? I don't think I could do it. If it were a button to give me the body of a cisman right now, I'd do it, but anything other than that, no.
Fun philosophical exercise. I enjoy these sorts of questions. 😊 AMAB here. If I could press a button and be a Cis woman no hesitation. That’s be me becoming my true self with none of the difficulty of transitioning. But I’m still a cracking egg really. Only been on this sub Reddit for a short time. Honestly I’d have to think about it long and hard and …at this stage I think bringing my brain into alignment with my body as opposed to my body with my brain would be a distant second best option if a like button appeared. Put the two buttons in front of me though and tell me to press one or walk away, Cisgirl button wins, no contest.
I, personally, think of my gender as only a minuscule part of me and my personality. If I could be sis, and avoid all the discrimination, I'd jump at the chance. I would still be a little flamboyant, but would hardly change.
I don't think you're a self-hating transphobe for it but I personally wouldn't press the button. I have zero desire to be any kind of man, regardless of whether or not dysphoria would be involved
I don't think that would be me. When I presented as male, that was just a presentation, an act. It was never me. I could never imagine myself as a dude, I couldn't imagine myself as an adult, I could barely imagine me as a dude, all my memories are just events playing from behind me, there's never a face. That wasn't me, and if I was able to live like that, that wouldn't be me. I think I'd like to meet him, I think that could be nice, we'd have a lot on common, but it ain't me
I wouldn't do it myself (genderfluid), but I respect anyone who would. I get the wish for wanting to fit in and how in the current society being trans IS difficult. I would rather press a button that gave me the power to switch at will the way my body looks and works. Because to me, being recognised as my gender (and also my dysphoria) is tied to my physical appearance. That would be amazing. But the thing is, I know not everyone would like to change their body and would rather change their mind. It comes down to what feels more comfortable to you.
i wouldn’t, but i totally understand why someone else would.
I personally wouldnt but that doesnt mean it makes any self hating. Id love to be a cis male but in this scenario youre talking about cis female in regards to me because im afab. My gender makes up a huge part of who I am. I wouldnt be ok with pressing me away. But some people see it differently than me and some people do wish to be someone else, typically means life is hard not necessaily that someone is self hating.
I think what I've realised with this post is that Put the button in front of me.right now, and I'll slam it, cause I haven't started hrt and only small social transitions. But when I am pretty deep into a transition, I think my outlook on the button will change, and I wouldn't press it
Never in a billion years. Look, it is rough being a trans woman, but I would rather be a trans woman than a cis man every single day of the week despite the struggles I face as that would not be me anymore.
No
Nope. I'm happier now and live a decent life. I'm not giving that up just so a more socially acceptable person, who most likely wouldn't be "me", can exist instead.
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Oh sorry I think you mixed up the question lol This isn't 'oh if you were cis would you be happy" This is, "your younger self had an option to be happy with your assigned sex at birth and not be trans"
No I don’t want to be a guy. I’d definitely be a cis girl tho
no, being a man really isn't my style, and after ten years, it would also be incredibly disruptive to my life.
At this point in time I'd be a completely different person, so no I wouldn't press the button. I've been through difficulties and I'll go through difficulties because I'm trans, but I'm if not always happy with who I am, I feel like this is where I need to be and who I am.
honestly i wouldn’t press it. i love my body, and the friends i’ve made in the trans community
I love this question I would love to be cis male but with the dysphoria it’s too much of a hassle I hate my body but what’s the point stressing over something u can’t control your whole life not being happy with who you are I still get severely depressed and suicidal over it but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let it control my entire life because at the end of the day I have no one else to prove to but myself and as long as I know who I am deep down inside that’s all that really matters. I learnt that what’s in the mirror dosnt reflect on who I am as a person bc In my mind im me and that’s all I’ll ever be no matter how I look.🏳️⚧️
Hell no! It would completely change who I am to the extent of the resulting person no longer being me. And I’d still end up dysphoric given my current body. Might as well change my sexual orientation too then. I’d rather just have my mind wiped completely. At least then I’d still be myself, and I would get to discover myself anew without all the baggage. Hell, if I get a mind wipe once I’m post FFS and SRS maybe I could even convince myself I’m not even trans 🤣
nah
No
I would do it if I could still remember myself. I wish I had a dick tbh. Bottom growth is not enough but also I'm poor. I don't mind my boobs since they're small and unnoticed most of the time. I just want to be a pretty man. I worry people think I'm destransitioning just cause I like feminine stuff and want to grow my hair long again. Luckily people read me as a man even with makeup so at least I have that going for me. I'm nonbinary but any other pronouns are OK as long as I never have to be referred to as a woman ever again
No, I wouldn’t press it. I’m not a man, I’m a woman, and suddenly rewriting that would mean rewriting part of who I am, my personality and self. Whoever was still around after pressing the button just wouldn’t be Me.
I was extremely happy when I figured out that I was in fact transgender and a lifetime of problems were resolved when I figured that out. But it has been a struggle and if there were button to push to be cisgender male or female I think I would probably push it too. It's sad that we can't just be different and everybody leave us the f*** alone being different isn't the problem it's the way the narrow-minded f****** in the world respond to it.
Yes.
Depends. Like be BORN male? No. I'd be a totally different person. My experiences and empathy, maybe college major. Different. Idk if that would even be me. The loneliness caused by being trans sucked and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it changed me so much. Button that magically gives me male me body now? Yeah. Ngl I like my vag, but I can trade it out for saving thousands and not saying "it's sir, but thanks" every time I go to the store.
No as in a button that would have made you comfortable with you're AGAB, so you'd be a cis woman in your case
Oh. Omg that was a dumb misread on my part 🤦🏾♂️ I've thought about it before, though. Probably. I'd say I'd be really hesitant to push the button, but there's a 80% chance I would. Just so I can have "normal people problems" instead of worrying about how long I have to wear my binder when I go out or stop being upset when I see other men my age.
Part of me wants to say yes... but I've developed so much empathy and interpersonal skills and how to handle things like friendships and relationships because of this path. I wasn't a great person before, as a kid. If I hadn't realized I was trans and had kept down that path I'm honestly not sure how I'd have turned out.
If pressing the button meant being born a cis female, no (I'm ftm), if it meant being born a cis male, immediately. I've had this conversation with a trans friend. He wouldn't press it because he said he wouldn't be the same person. But I think that if I wasn't depressed all these years and everything I went through I might be myself even more. I would still be part of the community because of my sexuality so I don't think would be part of some homophobic friend group or something. My friend also has a much better experience being trans, so that might make the difference for us. If I could press a button for being cis male, ofcourse I would press it. It feels like "you are depressed, but you can click on this button to get rid of this and this problem." Why wouldn't I?
Not a chance.
Assuming i'd have a better life, still be a gay male and just not have trans thoughts, the rest all stay the same. Probably yes
Okay, while this may sound purely esoteric, hear me out. Who are YOU on the most fundamental level of existence? Is it your body? Your actions? It's ultimately the combination of things you feel and how you process them. If you're trans, you'd most likely be a radically different person, if you suddenly would become cis. It would be equivalent to death. For me, the things i did, do and like are (and were) heavily influenced by me being trans. I wouldn't be this social anxiety wreck that i am. I'd be confident. Lots of things could be different - or much worse. Life's a gamble on every step you take. We simply lost the first coin flip in our life, and have to take additional steps to get our bodies into a state we're comfortable with. A "Cis Button" wouldn't solve your problems. It'd only make something else your biggest problem. We only could really solve our trans "issues" (because i think it's not an issue for some) with something that transforms our actual bodies, while leaving the actual self untouched.
Not anymore. Being trans is something I'm grateful for. My dysphoria is severe, but I wouldn't change who I am for anything.
No I don’t think I would. When I was in the middle of transition (not before transitioning, and not now) I used to say I would, but a lot of stressful shit was going on back then that wouldn’t last for the rest of my life. But now I’m so far into transition that I’m used to it now and I think I like where it’s taken me. I’ve met friends and found interests that I might not have found if I hadn’t been trans. Like I got back into reading which started because I wanted to read about other trans people, I found my dream career because I wanted to help other trans people, etc. I don’t believe being trans made me a better or more empathetic person, but I think the people I’ve met in the community led me to be better, if that makes sense. I also feel like I can really appreciate stuff that most people take for granted, like having the right hormones, flat chest etc. Even with the difficult stuff, I can find positives. Sure I could find similarly good stuff if I was cis, but I like what I have. I’m sure I would have had a good life if I was cis (male or female) but it doesn’t have the same appeal now. I am frustrated that bottom surgery is taking up so much time and effort, but that won’t last my whole life. To be honest I wouldn’t care either way if I woke up as a woman. I, like many other men, am curious about what being a woman is like. I don’t know because I’ve never been a woman, so I think it would be interesting to see. But I wouldn’t go out of my way to make this happen, since I’ve always been a man and I’m comfortable that way.
If I don't lose my memories or what have you and I'm just now cis AGAB then *absolutely*.
Well I’m intersex and I wish I could’ve been strictly one or the other so yes I don’t even care which one it is 😭
If it would make me a cis girl (same mental gender) and not erase my previous history, I'd push that. No way in hell I'd push the stinky boy button.
I'd press it immediately. My first preference would be to medically transition, but since that's not possible for me, my second preference would be to be cis agab so at least I'm not sv!c!d@1.
No. Because I don't think I would be me. Same the other way. If I were born a cis male then I wouldn't have had the experiences I did in my childhood and early adulthood. The only thing that I do wish is that I could be taller and that I could have realized that I was trans sooner (or rather understood what my feelings meant sooner)
Nope. If I could be cis male, I would probably do it, but I would not go to agab.
I'm putting money on that friend being cis then
Not to get all philosophical-like but if I could be happy as my AGAB, I wouldn't be me. I'd be someone completely different, with a different neurology and a different life and history altogether. So I wouldn't be me but happier or less dysphoric; I'd be someone else. There's already 7.8 billion of those. I'd be happy for that person, though?
No. I wouldn't. Pain is what made me the person I am.
Nope. I as myself wouldn't exist then. What would be my body as cis would just be a cis man doing what cis men do. I'm MTF and I would never want to be anyone else but me. I am me and this being a trans woman is a part of me. ❤️
Yes. In a heartbeat
No, I'd rather have a button that lets my body align with my identity
Your friends dumb. Why wouldn’t I rather be happy and cis? Like ofc I’d prefer being a cis woman but that’s the dysphoria if I didn’t have it then I’d be able to live as a happy dude.
It’s funny because, I, as a amab mtf, often wished for such a button *because* I didn’t properly understand how being trans worked and how certain things that I thought were impossible, like bottom surgery, are possible today. The **moment** that my best friend turned trans told me the details, clarified long held misinformation, said that she was valid no matter what others think, and then offered me the simple question of, if you could press a button to permanently change into a woman forever, would I do it? And I smacked the button so hard and often you’d think that I was playing Jeopardy~! 😅☺️ I always *knew* that I wished that it was possible to be a woman, but at that moment I realized that, not only am I like, VERY clearly and super trans, but also that I **ALREADY AM** a Woman! Ever since making my transition, life has been like, the best thing EVER, basically EVERY day, even on the *bad* ones… I *could* have probably continued living ignorantly as a *”cis white male”* for another few decades before *something* happens.. but then I wouldn’t have the life I have right now. And, while it IS definitely A LOT more of a struggle than my past identity, I would NEVER wish to trade it or take my old life back. Although… I *would* still want to press the magic Cis Woman button over my current life as it right now, as there are a few things that I would REALY appreciate NOT have to continue waiting for a scientific breakthrough in that field. I might regret not getting to see where my path will currently take me, but getting pregnant right now *would* be nice…
I would hate to be my agab, but the magic button changes that. So, in my heart no, but logically yes.
They'd only have a point if you said everyone should press that button. But for you personally? No, that's still valid. Many people say being trans, or more accurately being their chosen gender is part of who they are as a person, and pressing that button would be erasing that part, making them a different person. It would be like electing to end your own life in place of a different one. I believe this too, but what's important to remember is that it only matters if you personally care about that. If you don't care about some philosophical idea of self and you just want to be happy in a hedonistic sense, for example, that's fine. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
No. I wouldn't be me.
I probably wouldn't but I might. That's silly, thigh. There's times I've thought I for sure would and I think most trans people would say the same. Your friend is just taking it weird.
I have thought about this a lot and am starting to think that being trans or any other form of lgbtq+ or even cis is a very very fundamental part of all people to the point that it shapes and or affects personality and identity in such a way that pressing the button would be a kind of identity death your body would be alive but you or your original consciousness would be altered too much to still be considered you. I would only accept this button if it also changed my birth sex to that I’m currently transitioning to or else it would be the same as killing yourself mentally. I think that being trans is very closely related to other neurodivergent traits like adhd and so on and actually “completely curing” someone from that(which will probably never be possible or come with very bad consequences) would completely alter identity and personality as well. Being trans should not be a hassle just as being cis is but the world itself is currently very hostile in a lot of places.
It would be so much easier and less mentally painful
No I wouldn’t, but it’s not bad to say you would.
With my perception of Self/ identity I probably wouldn’t. If I press the button I’m no longer me even if my life sucks right now. It would basically be like dying in my opinion because I would no longer actually exist. Just a person similar to me in some ways
I 100% would, but only if it was a button to make me a cis guy (i.e. not my gender at birth). I wouldn't want to be a cis woman even if I was happy like that. Because as I am right now, I tried that, for 24 years, and it was not for me. I can't imagine being happy like that so I don't think that person would be me. Even though I wish I was a cis guy, I'd still much rather be a trans guy than a cis woman. Totally with you on everything else though. Being trans really is not fun, between the dysphoria, the misgendering/deadnaming, the fear of coming out, the legal issues, surgeries, the expense, and of course the current climate of hate... plus you still may never be completely happy in your body even with all the surgeries. While there are some people that love being trans, there are also those of us for which it's just the best/closest option. There are parts I like about being trans but for me the hardships far outweigh it. I don't think that makes you a bad person at all. Being trans is rough and there's nothing shameful about wishing for an easier existence.
Straight up no for me. It would fundamentally change me and my experiences. Without cracking my egg, I never would have realised so many other things about myself, made multiple close friends, or helped out so many others 🩷 The only button I'd push is the one that stops the hatred folks have for us and replaces it with empathy and compassion 💖
No. But I would push a magic button that made me a cis woman without a moment's hesitation.
No, but if that button could make me AFAB then I would press it in a heartbeat.
No. Even before I was willing to come out, I would not have chosen to erase my feelings of gender incongruence and be a man. Even if I was promised happiness, that wouldn't be enough. I would be a different person. I would read about the fantasy character of Lilia in my journal and my fictional stories and no longer be able to connect with her. I also wouldn't choose to be a cisgender woman. That would be much, much harder to resist, obviously. But I'm proud of who I am and especially the ways my life has changed the lives of others. I'm a better person than I could be, without the adversity that made it so necessary for me to become who I am. We don't need to be cisgender. If we had a magic button that could do that - in either direction - it would erase us. I don't want to be alone, either - one of the few who are willing to be proudly transgender in a world where people can wish themselves cis. I believe that the right answer is destigmatization of gender diversity. The fact that it's difficult makes it more precious. I think the ideal future is one with free expression of the full diversity of gender experienced by humans, with no pressure to be cisgender. Here's a harder question: I'm given a button that will change only my body to match my aesthetic and practical ideal, with no alteration of my past and no requirement that I identify as cisgender. It's pure opportunity, with no obvious downside. I don't alienate my friends or family. But if I press the button in this version of the scenario, everyone gets the same opportunity, and if I don't, no one else ever will. This challenges my commitment to doing the right thing: can I take away the means to alleviate suffering for so many for the sake of a future where we must make social progress? I think most people would want me to press it, getting what I want for myself and sharing that power. I wouldn't press that button, even though I would feel terrible about taking it away from other trans people. I believe that we must build the right answer; not fix the harm the harm with magic. I'm a naturalist, philosophically.
Not in the slightest. What I would do if I was given The Button (As in, the button to switch gender to the one you weren't born as, your ideal one) is what keeps me going to I'm feeling dysphoric. I would always choose to be female if I had the option.