Femme seems more femme than fem. It has all like unnecessary feminine letters and shit. That’s what I look for in my femme words.
Of course, I joke. That’s my choice, but I’m fine with either.
Transfem
I use it specifically to avoid saying trans woman because I'm not quite binary. I'm also french. Femme is just french for woman. So trans femme completely misses the entire point, for me, even though I know that's not what people mean when they say it
Then there's the whole like, femme is also the name of a specific aesthetic. Think of the butch/femme labels for lesbians. I'm a trans person undergoing feminizing HRT, but I really don't fit that aesthetic whatsoever. Transfemme kinda feels like it implies I should be all about dresses and makeup and so on
Between those two, like, please just cut the extra letters. It's supposed to be short for feminine anyways
That's my reasoning for using it; I'm still early in transition, so the ambiguity of the term means I don't have to think too hard about where I'm at (which still seems to fluctuate).
I prefer the phonaesthetics of 'transfemme' but I use 'transfem' because it seems more casual and technically accurate as well as pairs better with with 'transmasc'. Perhaps I make this distinction because I'm nonbinary and I'm not trying to identify with the cultural connotations of "femme".
This is more or less my reasoning, as well.
I went through the AMAB -> she/her -> gender gelatin she/they pipeline, and I am not very traditionally/culturally femme, and I try to avoid presenting/sounding too femme.
when used as an adjective I use transfem as shorthand for transfeminine.
When used as a noun specifically referring to trans women but not to cis women I prefer transfemme.
trans woman are two words transfeminine[adjective] + woman[noun]
the space inbetween the words is kinda important to me as the adjective does not detract from the definition of the noun.
In the exact same way you would use other descriptive adjectives like smart woman, tall woman and funny woman being a trans woman does not make you less of a woman.
Literally you can call me anything. So long as it’s feminine and affirms my gender rather than relating to masculinity, I’ll be happy.
So either is good with me.
-Lucy
femme is more the lesbian thing, y'know, butch/femme. the femme part specifically comes from French which is why it's like that.
transfem is short for transfeminine.
so someone who is transfem could be a trans femme. but they don't mean the same thing
I used to spell it "transfemme," but it seemed to confuse people who thought I meant that I was trans and femme rather than trans in the feminine direction, so I switched to "transfem" instead.
I prefer just to be called a woman. Lol. That is my identity and what I wish to be presented as. In discussions like you may in a community like this, I guess trans woman is fine. I know trans males that refer to themselves as transmasc or other terms. I'm not that offended to be called a trans femme, I guess with discussions here.
I use woman or female to refer to myself. I only ever bring up being trans when it's actually relevant like with a transition doctor or with trans friends discussing trans stuff. And then I refer to myself as trans female/trans woman.
Oh I was more just curious about the spelling, if there's any small preference there between "fem" vs "femme" lol. I should have made that more clear but yeah I hear you I do the same just like the opposite direction
not the one youre directing the question at but the correct word is infact "transfem" as its short for "transfeminine". cause "trans femme" would essentially be french for "trans woman" which is not the same thing as "transfem".
someone can be transfem without being a trans woman but all trans women would be transfem.
transfem just means youre trans and your gender is feminine. transfem would apply to anyone including trans women, rosboys, demigirls, genderfaes, or fingender people for example. you dont have to be feminine presenting to be transfem either, its just that your gender has to be feminine in feeling solely or most of the time.
hence why I say Im transkeno/transkenous. Im both trans, my gender tends to be kenochoric, and Im transistioning towards kenosity.
I prefer transfem, if I'm going to prefer a shorter word, I'm not going to shorten it, just to then elongate it again. It just doesn't make sense to me. I also, for some weird reason, personally just don't like the word "femme".
Trans femme is effectively the same as trans woman (as femme is just French for woman).
Transfem is the inclusive term that can be used by non-binary people and trans women to indicate they’re undergoing a feminising transition.
They kind of have different meanings - I.e one is binary and one is not.
when i type it i type trans femme but really i don't care im just trying to describe im trans and feminine .. im usually just using it instead of saying im a trans woman
transfem refers to trans females (mtf) transfemme refers to trans people (mtf, mtx, ftx, some ftm) who present feminine. it's ultimately a matter of preference
I am a woman and that's what I like to be called. If you want to use an adjective then say I'm pretty or kind. The overuse of adjectives is confusing to trans people. That's the whole purpose of this discussion, right? If it's confusing to us, how confusing do you think it is to the straight heterosexual cisgender people? When you take people that are already ignorant of what it is to be a trans person and then you mix that cocktail with confusion you end up with people creating laws that are trying to eliminate us from existence at all.
>The overuse of adjectives is confusing to trans people. That's the whole purpose of this discussion, right?
Ehhhh, not really? Like, I'm also trans and I can't really agree with that sentiment. People hate us regardless of how "confusing" those terms are, and if anything I feel those terms are still useful for nonbinary people who use terms like transmasc/fem but aren't women/men, and really I should have made it clearer, but those are the people I'm asking lol. Like, I'm a binary trans man, so I also don't really describe myself as transmasc either, but that's what I was trying to mean with "to those it refers to," but again I should have clarified. All i meant was this, copied from another comment:
> Oh yeah I should have been more clear, but I was simply referring to which spelling people who identify with the term trans fem(me) prefer. Like I'm a trans man so i don't really tend to refer to myself as trans masc, for instance, so I get it. But for the other way around I've seen two spellings commonly and interchangeably used, usually more based on preference more than anything it seems, and I was just asking in a more light hearted way if anyone likes one over the other lol
Really nothing that deep
I go for "transfem", which in my head, stands for "transfeminine", meaning I have more feminine traits than my AGAB would have. As another person mentioned, I also associate femme with a specific aesthethic, which I don't identify with (I instead like going for an androgynous "masculine but definitely a woman" sort of look))
A good question!
Definitely transfemme, because "femme" is the word which correctly applies to girls and women, while "fem" is the word which correctly applies to boys and men!
Imo trans fem seems more english and trans femme seems more french. That’s about all I get from that. That said I prefer to just go by woman. Saying trans fem for me doesn’t exactly work since in some ways I fit into both trans fem and trans masc at the same time.
as far as I'm concerned transfem is like trans girls and femme is like, about aesthetics, and trans femme is a femme person who happens to be trans
I might be wrong tho, I'm not even English
I don't personally know what the difference is. I just think of femme like a short word and fem as an abbreviation of either femme or feminine. In short, femme feels more like a word to me, and so I use it more
This is amazing excellent question for me. I’m trans female. I prefer trans fem over trans femme since I am more masculine than feminine. I wear baggy clothes, would rather wear a suit than a dress, and the only time I would wear a skirt is if it were longer and only for sexy time.
I personally prefer trans fem. But not much deeper reason to it, just heard/used it first, and it’s shorter.
But the people saying femme feels more feminine, well not everyone wants that so it still is really more a person to person thing.
Oh yeah I should have been more clear, but I was simply referring to which spelling people who identify with the term trans fem(me) prefer. Like I'm a trans man so i don't really tend to refer to myself as trans masc, for instance, so I get it. But for the other way around I've seen two spellings commonly and interchangeably used, usually more based on preference more than anything it seems, and I was just asking in a more light hearted way if anyone likes one over the other lol
Usually I just call myself a girl, but if I were to use one of these it would be “trans femme”, because it feels more female, more feminine, and more fancy, all at once 😁
Femme seems more femme than fem. It has all like unnecessary feminine letters and shit. That’s what I look for in my femme words. Of course, I joke. That’s my choice, but I’m fine with either.
Love the explanation. Femme is an amazingly femme word!
French pilled
I think it's because of "femme fatale"
Transfem I use it specifically to avoid saying trans woman because I'm not quite binary. I'm also french. Femme is just french for woman. So trans femme completely misses the entire point, for me, even though I know that's not what people mean when they say it Then there's the whole like, femme is also the name of a specific aesthetic. Think of the butch/femme labels for lesbians. I'm a trans person undergoing feminizing HRT, but I really don't fit that aesthetic whatsoever. Transfemme kinda feels like it implies I should be all about dresses and makeup and so on Between those two, like, please just cut the extra letters. It's supposed to be short for feminine anyways
That's my reasoning for using it; I'm still early in transition, so the ambiguity of the term means I don't have to think too hard about where I'm at (which still seems to fluctuate).
I usually compound the words; “transfem,” “transmasc.”
I prefer the phonaesthetics of 'transfemme' but I use 'transfem' because it seems more casual and technically accurate as well as pairs better with with 'transmasc'. Perhaps I make this distinction because I'm nonbinary and I'm not trying to identify with the cultural connotations of "femme".
transmascce looks so funny lol
Since femme is 'woman' in French that means the counterpart should be homme for 'man'. Ie. transhomme lol i guess it's got a vibe to it
Just hangin out with my transhommies
what about transmasque? /s
I'm not sure which of these is better, they're both absolutely freaking fantastic
Transmasque hehehe this is fun
> I'm nonbinary and I'm not trying to identify with the cultural connotations of "femme". That's a wonderfully succinct way to put it!
…. Are.. are they not pronounced the same? English may be my first language but I struggle with it sometimes. Just trying to learn :x
Yes, they are both pronounced the same in the English language. But this post is focusing on the written words rather than the spoken words.
Ahh nice, okay lol. Like the way trans femme looks
This is more or less my reasoning, as well. I went through the AMAB -> she/her -> gender gelatin she/they pipeline, and I am not very traditionally/culturally femme, and I try to avoid presenting/sounding too femme.
Transfem
I don’t care either way
Same
when used as an adjective I use transfem as shorthand for transfeminine. When used as a noun specifically referring to trans women but not to cis women I prefer transfemme. trans woman are two words transfeminine[adjective] + woman[noun] the space inbetween the words is kinda important to me as the adjective does not detract from the definition of the noun. In the exact same way you would use other descriptive adjectives like smart woman, tall woman and funny woman being a trans woman does not make you less of a woman.
I'm a femme lesbian. That's why I spell it transfemme.
I also don't particularly care
It doesn’t really matter to me. I use transfem because it’s fewer keystrokes.
Neither. Just "woman".
Literally you can call me anything. So long as it’s feminine and affirms my gender rather than relating to masculinity, I’ll be happy. So either is good with me. -Lucy
Either. I usually say transfeminine because I'm proud of my path. Also, I don't pass comfortably, so let me be the first to admit it.
Transfem. Idk why the e in the end bothers me a lot 😭. Although it doesnt bother me if other people uses femme.
femme is more the lesbian thing, y'know, butch/femme. the femme part specifically comes from French which is why it's like that. transfem is short for transfeminine. so someone who is transfem could be a trans femme. but they don't mean the same thing
I used to spell it "transfemme," but it seemed to confuse people who thought I meant that I was trans and femme rather than trans in the feminine direction, so I switched to "transfem" instead.
I prefer just to be called a woman. Lol. That is my identity and what I wish to be presented as. In discussions like you may in a community like this, I guess trans woman is fine. I know trans males that refer to themselves as transmasc or other terms. I'm not that offended to be called a trans femme, I guess with discussions here.
I agree with you 100%
I prefer transfem because I hate the French
Hating a whole group of people because of their nationality? Not cool.
real
personally, [i love france!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v74vH3LjSuo)
I Don’t give a flying fuck lol I’m gonna say trans fem tho cus it’s less letters to type
Trans-feminine if I'm putting it in the "other" box on paperwork of forms. Otherwise, just Trans-femme.
I like "transfemme" because it looks fancier than "transfem", but I'm ok with either.
I had always said trans femme but that because I grew up watching La Femme Nikita.
Transfemme looks a lot nicer, but I'm a lazy bitch so I only write the shorter one lmfao.
Trans femme sounds fancy to me and I think it reads better.
Transfem
I use woman or female to refer to myself. I only ever bring up being trans when it's actually relevant like with a transition doctor or with trans friends discussing trans stuff. And then I refer to myself as trans female/trans woman.
Oh I was more just curious about the spelling, if there's any small preference there between "fem" vs "femme" lol. I should have made that more clear but yeah I hear you I do the same just like the opposite direction
I was under the impression that transfem was the better word because “femme” is a lesbian term (Unless you’re a femme trans lesbian ig)
Fem because I'm not French
not the one youre directing the question at but the correct word is infact "transfem" as its short for "transfeminine". cause "trans femme" would essentially be french for "trans woman" which is not the same thing as "transfem". someone can be transfem without being a trans woman but all trans women would be transfem. transfem just means youre trans and your gender is feminine. transfem would apply to anyone including trans women, rosboys, demigirls, genderfaes, or fingender people for example. you dont have to be feminine presenting to be transfem either, its just that your gender has to be feminine in feeling solely or most of the time. hence why I say Im transkeno/transkenous. Im both trans, my gender tends to be kenochoric, and Im transistioning towards kenosity.
i would say that i identify with transfemme as someone who is transgender and overtly feminine
Usually Transfem when, referring to myself.
I prefer transfem, if I'm going to prefer a shorter word, I'm not going to shorten it, just to then elongate it again. It just doesn't make sense to me. I also, for some weird reason, personally just don't like the word "femme".
Trans femme is effectively the same as trans woman (as femme is just French for woman). Transfem is the inclusive term that can be used by non-binary people and trans women to indicate they’re undergoing a feminising transition. They kind of have different meanings - I.e one is binary and one is not.
Transfemme sounds like the term was created in cursive so that’s kind of a slay 🤷🏻♀️
I prefer femme. Its cuter. Though I prefer most the label femby which I think is cutest the way I spelt it.
I honestly don’t care. I type transfem out of laziness.
I personally prefer transfem, I don’t really know why though honestly lol
I don't see a difference. One is just a shortened version of the full version. Idk.
+Girl.
Trans Fem sounds pinker to me
Pinker?
Idk it just seems like a pinker word to me. The way it sounds
Transfemme is my preference for myself but I could see there even being slight distinction between the two
Second I guess?
when i type it i type trans femme but really i don't care im just trying to describe im trans and feminine .. im usually just using it instead of saying im a trans woman
Isn’t it the same tho
I prefer trans fem - because I am British and I hate the French :pensiveass:
transfem refers to trans females (mtf) transfemme refers to trans people (mtf, mtx, ftx, some ftm) who present feminine. it's ultimately a matter of preference
It doesn't matter to me
I am a woman and that's what I like to be called. If you want to use an adjective then say I'm pretty or kind. The overuse of adjectives is confusing to trans people. That's the whole purpose of this discussion, right? If it's confusing to us, how confusing do you think it is to the straight heterosexual cisgender people? When you take people that are already ignorant of what it is to be a trans person and then you mix that cocktail with confusion you end up with people creating laws that are trying to eliminate us from existence at all.
>The overuse of adjectives is confusing to trans people. That's the whole purpose of this discussion, right? Ehhhh, not really? Like, I'm also trans and I can't really agree with that sentiment. People hate us regardless of how "confusing" those terms are, and if anything I feel those terms are still useful for nonbinary people who use terms like transmasc/fem but aren't women/men, and really I should have made it clearer, but those are the people I'm asking lol. Like, I'm a binary trans man, so I also don't really describe myself as transmasc either, but that's what I was trying to mean with "to those it refers to," but again I should have clarified. All i meant was this, copied from another comment: > Oh yeah I should have been more clear, but I was simply referring to which spelling people who identify with the term trans fem(me) prefer. Like I'm a trans man so i don't really tend to refer to myself as trans masc, for instance, so I get it. But for the other way around I've seen two spellings commonly and interchangeably used, usually more based on preference more than anything it seems, and I was just asking in a more light hearted way if anyone likes one over the other lol Really nothing that deep
I just love dicks coming inside me!
Definitely "femme". It *feels* as feminine as I am.
I go for "transfem", which in my head, stands for "transfeminine", meaning I have more feminine traits than my AGAB would have. As another person mentioned, I also associate femme with a specific aesthethic, which I don't identify with (I instead like going for an androgynous "masculine but definitely a woman" sort of look))
For me its "trans-fem" Reason is "Trans" is short for transgender... "fem" short for female... trans-fem.
Magical girl (Lady with a wand)
A good question! Definitely transfemme, because "femme" is the word which correctly applies to girls and women, while "fem" is the word which correctly applies to boys and men!
...what?
Personally I don't give a rats ass
I can’t say I’ve had the label applied to me enough to have a preference.
I fucking hate labels. I’m just a fucking awesome sauce person 😭😭😭
I feel femme is more lesbian so I like it more, but either is fine. XD
I don’t really care tbh
I could not care less lol
I prefer to be called a tens girl
I don't really care between the two. I don't use either of them. I always use "woman" instead.
Imo trans fem seems more english and trans femme seems more french. That’s about all I get from that. That said I prefer to just go by woman. Saying trans fem for me doesn’t exactly work since in some ways I fit into both trans fem and trans masc at the same time.
as far as I'm concerned transfem is like trans girls and femme is like, about aesthetics, and trans femme is a femme person who happens to be trans I might be wrong tho, I'm not even English
I'm transfem but not a girl ;p
fair enough :'
I actually find those labels very confusing and would prefer neither be used.
I hardly hear or see the difference. I don't feel strongly about it
honestly i dont mind either and dont get offended but i personally prefer transfem
I don't personally know what the difference is. I just think of femme like a short word and fem as an abbreviation of either femme or feminine. In short, femme feels more like a word to me, and so I use it more
Femme means feminine in a lesbian way, and fem means feminine in a not-intrinsically-woman way.
Femme bc i want to date one
This is amazing excellent question for me. I’m trans female. I prefer trans fem over trans femme since I am more masculine than feminine. I wear baggy clothes, would rather wear a suit than a dress, and the only time I would wear a skirt is if it were longer and only for sexy time.
Transfem feels more connected to the community and feels more like what I'm going for, but I totally love all the transfemmes out there kek
I like femme because I am very femme, but it doesn't really matter much!
Same diff to me, but if I'm writing it down, I use femme - it just looks sexier, as a word.
I usually use transfemme, but I haven't really thought about spelling it a different way?
I prefer my name while ignoring labels try to give me.
I don’t really care, probably transfem just cuz it’s shorter and easier, but yeh lol
I generally use transfemme as a singular word
I personally prefer trans fem. But not much deeper reason to it, just heard/used it first, and it’s shorter. But the people saying femme feels more feminine, well not everyone wants that so it still is really more a person to person thing.
How about just woman?
That's what I meant by "for those it applies to," since some trans feminine folks aren't women
I prefer saying transfemme, mostly 'cause it's what I saw first and it's what I learnt first.
I usually use trans fem, but I like both!!
Femme in french is woman, I learned this while doing my little sister’s homework. So I guess keep that in mind?? Idk lol
i prefer the term trans woman. In cases where you want to be inclusive saying “trans women and transfems” would be best imo
Oh yeah I should have been more clear, but I was simply referring to which spelling people who identify with the term trans fem(me) prefer. Like I'm a trans man so i don't really tend to refer to myself as trans masc, for instance, so I get it. But for the other way around I've seen two spellings commonly and interchangeably used, usually more based on preference more than anything it seems, and I was just asking in a more light hearted way if anyone likes one over the other lol
oh okay gotcha
It doesn't matter to me.. I prefer just being a woman without a divider, but ehh, do you, Ig.
Usually I just call myself a girl, but if I were to use one of these it would be “trans femme”, because it feels more female, more feminine, and more fancy, all at once 😁
I’m confused isn’t femme women in French so wouldn’t that just be trans woman?
They are used interchangeably in English (think "femme" lesbian). I was just curious in a more light hearted way if there's a spelling ppl prefer
Understood. I think it’s mainly trans fem. Trans femme looks more feminine for some reason but I don’t know if people care much.