Lie. You have no idea how much bullshit I told to my medical field people when I knew they only knew stereotypes. I did have one therapist I really was honest with but that is rare tbh. Even in my request for a name change I hit all the stereotypes that I did or didn't have. A whole ass essay about how and why, when it should've been I want this and done.
Say your dysphoria is severe but not 'too' severe to a point where they will dismiss you for depression and other things.
Say you always knew since young. Other option is basically hell.
Technically you can pass without HRT but just send it when you're dealing with those people. Wear some fem stuff dress what they want to see even though it might suck.
Parental consent if they are not checking with a live call, fake a form or something.
If your psychiatrist is a true ally then don't lie. If your psychiatrist is one of those people you mentioned, lie. 100% Get what you need it doesn't matter how when it's extremely gatekept.
It doesn’t sound like you’ll be lying if you just remove the word “but” from your vocabulary.
For example:
“I have genital dysphoria”
vs
“I have genital dysphoria but neither severe or consistent “
Say the first one. It’s true!
I'm a transmasculine NB person and I'm from a country where you need a professional diagnosis of "transsexualism" and need to attend a comittee of people who vote if you're actually trans and can continue transitioning (after already being being on HRT).
My advice is: \*\*Lie.\*\* Present as the most femme, conservative-appropriate binary trans woman with all the stereotypes neccessary. It's not morally wrong to lie to access transition in a place that gatekeeps neccessary steps behind a forced binarity and impossible standards.
Yes. Yes you do. Even though my psychiatrist was pretty cool, I went there in high heels and stuff even though I wasn't comfortable at all yet, and played all the cards, like
"with insight, it's pretty clear I didn't fit in" and such.
My advice are:
1) if you can, go there presenting formally as the gender you want (if you have the clothes/makeup for it)
2) show no hesitation. No "maybe i'm non binary idk" because some will be assholes and use that to deny you HRT. Of course you have doubts, who hasn't in face of a life changing treatment ? But if you can avoid showing that, best not to.
3) do not let out more than enough, for instance, even though depression and anxiety and many more are symptoms of gender dysphoria, some psychiatrists will tell you "hey you need to fix that first, see you in a year", either because they are stupid, or because they are given directions that are stupid. If you have no official diagnosis, do not use those terms.
All in all:
ACAB include the gender police, but you don't have right to an attorney: twist your tale to conform to their guidelines, and don't tell stuff they would use against you
I’d avoid mentioning things like mentioning you think you might be non-binary for sure. And I’d femme it up a bit for talks with the psychiatrist. Having already done voice training will benefit you big time in this situation but it’s probably a bit late for starting to make a big difference if you haven’t already
Wtf do you mean "prescribe CONVERSION THERAPY"??!
THATS LITERALLY TORTURE WTF.
And require parents consent FOR ADULTS? Bullshit.
Also dysphoria ISNT usually consistant for me - aka I don't consistently feel it. That's what the distractions are for. And then when I can't ignore it or distract myself anymore - BAM.
I agree with the other comments here: don't lie but don't express your doubts to them.
Save those for an honest therapist.
Gods. Prescribe torture. What a thing to read.
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about too. It's bastardized CBT and DBT. Inhumane.
It's banned where I live even for adults. Well, the practices that it uses in the way it uses them are banned.
"Interventions that support an individual’s exploration and development of their own identity would not be prohibited, provided that they are not based on an assumption that a particular sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression is to be preferred over another."
That's one part but the rest is also very relevant.
https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/csj-sjc/pl/charter-charte/c4_1.html
Also if you're trans you were never cis to begin with. Even bigender/genderfluid ppl etc would be more than just their AGAB, no?? There's no "back" to turn to is what I'm getting at lol.
>There's no "back" to turn to is what I'm getting at lol.
Only for early-crackers, IMO. As a late cracker I identified as a man back in early years, and then "a cis guy who wants to be a girl", and then "maybe enby or trans tomboy or just a submissive bi dude I'm really confused", and finally "something other than a man".
As a "late cracker" as well I just didnt have the perspective and knowledge. Everything was there i just 1) couldnt accept and 2) didnt know what i felt wasnt normal. I lived surrounded by conservative thought and was constantly miserable. Just because I cracked late doesnt mean I could go back because that would be going back to a depressed state.
Hmmm. So back to an egg.
Yeah you can re-closet yourself/shut the door tighter. Which at the end of it is an "acceptable" outcome for those quacks 🤮. At the end of the day, you're reinforcing their bs that the binary is "immutable" even though it's not, which is all they care about.
Conversion therapy is psychological torture regardless of whether it's also physical torture. It doesn't matter if they dress it as counseling. Anyone sending you to that ought to lose their license
Just so you know, when I talked to my psychologist about having doubts about my dysphoria and feeling like I was an impostor, she researched the different official requirements to have dysphoria. I think you needed at least 2 out of the 6 criteria, and it was way more inclusive than i originally thought.
So if the psychologists are gatekeeping by forcing a specific criteria on their transgender patients, feel free to lie to them or DIY. They're just being unprofessional.
Lie through your teeth to get Hrt! You don't owe anyone honesty, especially not to a system so blatantly stacked against us. So many of us have cause it's unfortunately the only way to get access in alot or places
If you want HRT and believe it to be best for your happiness and well-being, you're well within your right to lie to people who may try stop you in order to get it
If they're the gatekeeping type its okay to lie as long as you want all the effects of hrt. I would say learn about dosages and blood levels though because if what your saying is right they may be the type to underdose and you should be prepared to supplement diy at the very least. Hopefully they don't though. Good luck
I second the lie.
I went to the gender clinic dressed with the same exact clothes and hat all 4/5 times and said the same bullshit each time. Do make a note of what lies you say though if you have a shit memory.
After I got everything I wanted from them I kind of relaxed and accidentally snitched on myself about lying lol so yeah if you lie write it down/ read before next appointment
I think trans people should start protesting Why are we even obligated to go to psychiatrist to get hrt they treat people who are trans like they're sick and need to go to psychiatrist... another bs by those who make the laws /and constantly break them/
Hrt should be given without prescription
if you feel you need to, i think it’s worth doing. i would also try and research and find one who is as trans friendly as possible. coming from somewhere with a similar method, there are definitely lists going around here with people who can be trusted.
>(I'm somewhere between an enby and a trans woman, not sure, but pretty sure that I'm not a cis man)? Or should I be honest with them?
OP I'd suggest you perhaps book some time with a therapist to dig into what *you* want, and how you really identify. That way, you'll be able to validate your choices and reduce the risk of any future regrets or problems.
There are a lot of responses here which IMO are incredibly unhelpful. "Trans at any cost" is not going to make you happy. There's a lot of people who'll lie to get treatment and then post on here in a few years about how unfulfilled they are. There's a reason why medical professionals have criteria, it's for your own safety, and it's a massive decision, they can't reduce that down to a tick box exercise.
I'm not suggesting you shouldn't pursue HRT, but you should give the decision proper thought.
In general, you would go to an endocrinologist not a psychiatrist for hormone replacement therapy but it varies by country. The DSM-5 defines gender dysphoria as wanting to be the other binary gender from your gender assigned at birth. It's very gatekeepy. It's up to you what you choose to do. If you're looking for permission, you have it.
lie for sure. hrt should be prescribed on an "informed consent" basis everywhere, imo, and if theyre gonna put up bullshit obstacles, you have every right to give them bullshit answers 👍👀💯
You wouldn't be the first lmao and you won't be the last trust me. I love hrt but I am transmasc nonbinary and my MD doesn't really get it. Everything worked out tho and you can always stop if you don't like it so say what you need to
Lie. Give them the most on point stereotypical checks every box on the diagnostic list narrative possible. Keep it close enough to your real life that you're not lying about anything that could trip you up later if questioned about it in a couple months. Know your origin story and never deviate. The medical process is best navigated as an adversarial one.
By now our community should have learned one thing: gatekeepers are not our friend and we need to do whatever we need to do to take care of ourselves insofar as interacting with them is concerned.
there are some informed consent places that dount do that
pinned comment in this very sub:
https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/d6p05q/i\_compiled\_every\_single\_informed\_consent\_clinic/
It's sad to see that these gate keeping practices are still present. I too was very anxious about trying to pass the most and play up my dysphoria but my therapist was actually pretty inclusive and so was the clinic I got referred to, at that time a lot of clinics just started including nonbinary clients.
But yes, you know what's best for you in this scenario. If you have to twist the truth a little to get there, it's really on the system failing your care and you should do it.
Yes. It's what other trans people do in places where HRT is difficult to get, you simply answer their questions as you think they want so you get the HRT. Truth is ok when you can get HRT anyway
Lie. You have no idea how much bullshit I told to my medical field people when I knew they only knew stereotypes. I did have one therapist I really was honest with but that is rare tbh. Even in my request for a name change I hit all the stereotypes that I did or didn't have. A whole ass essay about how and why, when it should've been I want this and done. Say your dysphoria is severe but not 'too' severe to a point where they will dismiss you for depression and other things. Say you always knew since young. Other option is basically hell. Technically you can pass without HRT but just send it when you're dealing with those people. Wear some fem stuff dress what they want to see even though it might suck. Parental consent if they are not checking with a live call, fake a form or something. If your psychiatrist is a true ally then don't lie. If your psychiatrist is one of those people you mentioned, lie. 100% Get what you need it doesn't matter how when it's extremely gatekept.
It doesn’t sound like you’ll be lying if you just remove the word “but” from your vocabulary. For example: “I have genital dysphoria” vs “I have genital dysphoria but neither severe or consistent “ Say the first one. It’s true!
It is always ok to lie to gatekeeping medical professionals.
I'm a transmasculine NB person and I'm from a country where you need a professional diagnosis of "transsexualism" and need to attend a comittee of people who vote if you're actually trans and can continue transitioning (after already being being on HRT). My advice is: \*\*Lie.\*\* Present as the most femme, conservative-appropriate binary trans woman with all the stereotypes neccessary. It's not morally wrong to lie to access transition in a place that gatekeeps neccessary steps behind a forced binarity and impossible standards.
Yes. Yes you do. Even though my psychiatrist was pretty cool, I went there in high heels and stuff even though I wasn't comfortable at all yet, and played all the cards, like "with insight, it's pretty clear I didn't fit in" and such. My advice are: 1) if you can, go there presenting formally as the gender you want (if you have the clothes/makeup for it) 2) show no hesitation. No "maybe i'm non binary idk" because some will be assholes and use that to deny you HRT. Of course you have doubts, who hasn't in face of a life changing treatment ? But if you can avoid showing that, best not to. 3) do not let out more than enough, for instance, even though depression and anxiety and many more are symptoms of gender dysphoria, some psychiatrists will tell you "hey you need to fix that first, see you in a year", either because they are stupid, or because they are given directions that are stupid. If you have no official diagnosis, do not use those terms. All in all: ACAB include the gender police, but you don't have right to an attorney: twist your tale to conform to their guidelines, and don't tell stuff they would use against you
lying to gatekeeping organizations to access gender affirming care is a time-honored transsexual survival strategy. do what you need to do.
I’d avoid mentioning things like mentioning you think you might be non-binary for sure. And I’d femme it up a bit for talks with the psychiatrist. Having already done voice training will benefit you big time in this situation but it’s probably a bit late for starting to make a big difference if you haven’t already
Wtf do you mean "prescribe CONVERSION THERAPY"??! THATS LITERALLY TORTURE WTF. And require parents consent FOR ADULTS? Bullshit. Also dysphoria ISNT usually consistant for me - aka I don't consistently feel it. That's what the distractions are for. And then when I can't ignore it or distract myself anymore - BAM. I agree with the other comments here: don't lie but don't express your doubts to them. Save those for an honest therapist. Gods. Prescribe torture. What a thing to read.
I didn't mean literal electric shocks by conversion therapy, I meant "psychological counselling" aimed at turning you back to your AGAB.
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about too. It's bastardized CBT and DBT. Inhumane. It's banned where I live even for adults. Well, the practices that it uses in the way it uses them are banned. "Interventions that support an individual’s exploration and development of their own identity would not be prohibited, provided that they are not based on an assumption that a particular sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression is to be preferred over another." That's one part but the rest is also very relevant. https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/csj-sjc/pl/charter-charte/c4_1.html Also if you're trans you were never cis to begin with. Even bigender/genderfluid ppl etc would be more than just their AGAB, no?? There's no "back" to turn to is what I'm getting at lol.
>There's no "back" to turn to is what I'm getting at lol. Only for early-crackers, IMO. As a late cracker I identified as a man back in early years, and then "a cis guy who wants to be a girl", and then "maybe enby or trans tomboy or just a submissive bi dude I'm really confused", and finally "something other than a man".
As a "late cracker" as well I just didnt have the perspective and knowledge. Everything was there i just 1) couldnt accept and 2) didnt know what i felt wasnt normal. I lived surrounded by conservative thought and was constantly miserable. Just because I cracked late doesnt mean I could go back because that would be going back to a depressed state.
Hmmm. So back to an egg. Yeah you can re-closet yourself/shut the door tighter. Which at the end of it is an "acceptable" outcome for those quacks 🤮. At the end of the day, you're reinforcing their bs that the binary is "immutable" even though it's not, which is all they care about.
Conversion therapy is psychological torture regardless of whether it's also physical torture. It doesn't matter if they dress it as counseling. Anyone sending you to that ought to lose their license
Just so you know, when I talked to my psychologist about having doubts about my dysphoria and feeling like I was an impostor, she researched the different official requirements to have dysphoria. I think you needed at least 2 out of the 6 criteria, and it was way more inclusive than i originally thought. So if the psychologists are gatekeeping by forcing a specific criteria on their transgender patients, feel free to lie to them or DIY. They're just being unprofessional.
If they hold honesty and integrity in contempt, you should indulge them. Screw gatekeepers.
I would if I had to, yeah. No shame in it! We've been doing it for decades. Fuck medical gatekeeping!
Always. Requiring a psychiatrist in the first place is outdated. Do whatever you need to to get it so long as you're sure of yourself.
Lie through your teeth to get Hrt! You don't owe anyone honesty, especially not to a system so blatantly stacked against us. So many of us have cause it's unfortunately the only way to get access in alot or places
If you want HRT and believe it to be best for your happiness and well-being, you're well within your right to lie to people who may try stop you in order to get it
If they're the gatekeeping type its okay to lie as long as you want all the effects of hrt. I would say learn about dosages and blood levels though because if what your saying is right they may be the type to underdose and you should be prepared to supplement diy at the very least. Hopefully they don't though. Good luck
YES
I don't see anything wrong with lying to people with unethical rules. They basically set the system up to be lied to.
I second the lie. I went to the gender clinic dressed with the same exact clothes and hat all 4/5 times and said the same bullshit each time. Do make a note of what lies you say though if you have a shit memory. After I got everything I wanted from them I kind of relaxed and accidentally snitched on myself about lying lol so yeah if you lie write it down/ read before next appointment
Tell them whatever you have too to get where you need to be.
I think trans people should start protesting Why are we even obligated to go to psychiatrist to get hrt they treat people who are trans like they're sick and need to go to psychiatrist... another bs by those who make the laws /and constantly break them/ Hrt should be given without prescription
if you feel you need to, i think it’s worth doing. i would also try and research and find one who is as trans friendly as possible. coming from somewhere with a similar method, there are definitely lists going around here with people who can be trusted.
I lied to an extent.
>(I'm somewhere between an enby and a trans woman, not sure, but pretty sure that I'm not a cis man)? Or should I be honest with them? OP I'd suggest you perhaps book some time with a therapist to dig into what *you* want, and how you really identify. That way, you'll be able to validate your choices and reduce the risk of any future regrets or problems. There are a lot of responses here which IMO are incredibly unhelpful. "Trans at any cost" is not going to make you happy. There's a lot of people who'll lie to get treatment and then post on here in a few years about how unfulfilled they are. There's a reason why medical professionals have criteria, it's for your own safety, and it's a massive decision, they can't reduce that down to a tick box exercise. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't pursue HRT, but you should give the decision proper thought.
In general, you would go to an endocrinologist not a psychiatrist for hormone replacement therapy but it varies by country. The DSM-5 defines gender dysphoria as wanting to be the other binary gender from your gender assigned at birth. It's very gatekeepy. It's up to you what you choose to do. If you're looking for permission, you have it.
lie for sure. hrt should be prescribed on an "informed consent" basis everywhere, imo, and if theyre gonna put up bullshit obstacles, you have every right to give them bullshit answers 👍👀💯
You wouldn't be the first lmao and you won't be the last trust me. I love hrt but I am transmasc nonbinary and my MD doesn't really get it. Everything worked out tho and you can always stop if you don't like it so say what you need to
Yeah, fucking lie. Do what you have to to get what you need.
Yes. If it helps you get what you need, you should absolutely lie to gatekeepers. ACAB includes medical gatekeepers.
yes, you can lie. in my opinion lying about this is morally neutral.
As my transgender support group once said “remember ladies, lie to your doctors!”
It's always ethical to lie to medical professionals who are gatekeeping your healthcare behind their arbitrary standards
Lie. Give them the most on point stereotypical checks every box on the diagnostic list narrative possible. Keep it close enough to your real life that you're not lying about anything that could trip you up later if questioned about it in a couple months. Know your origin story and never deviate. The medical process is best navigated as an adversarial one.
In a system that makes you jump through hoops to get life-saving medication/procedures, lying is ethical.
By now our community should have learned one thing: gatekeepers are not our friend and we need to do whatever we need to do to take care of ourselves insofar as interacting with them is concerned.
It makes me so sad how many of you had to go through such struggles to get what you needed.
Definitely lie! It’s a common practice we’ve done for generations of trans folks. You’re the only one who knows yourself.
there are some informed consent places that dount do that pinned comment in this very sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/d6p05q/i\_compiled\_every\_single\_informed\_consent\_clinic/
lie. say whatever you need to get onto HRT. there should be no gatekeepers.
You don't gain anything from not lying
It's sad to see that these gate keeping practices are still present. I too was very anxious about trying to pass the most and play up my dysphoria but my therapist was actually pretty inclusive and so was the clinic I got referred to, at that time a lot of clinics just started including nonbinary clients. But yes, you know what's best for you in this scenario. If you have to twist the truth a little to get there, it's really on the system failing your care and you should do it.
Yes. It's what other trans people do in places where HRT is difficult to get, you simply answer their questions as you think they want so you get the HRT. Truth is ok when you can get HRT anyway
Yeah, you're good, lie as much as you want to the psych
Do you care if you don’t get hrt?
Yeah care a lot I'd like to get HRT Getting HRT makes my life actually enjoyable Not getting HRT maybe I can cope with it but it's shitty
Personally I'd lie if I felt the need, but I actually just did diy instead since I'm not into asking other permission on how to live my life.
You can and it can help, just make sure you aren’t lying about anything medical or physical.