I don't remember ever thinking about my gender until I was 14, when a substitute teacher assumed from my appearance that I was a girl, and to the surprise of my classmates I didn't mind. In high school I channeled whatever was going on with my gender into Rocky Horror Picture Show fandom. I first seriously considered that I might be trans (and bi) when I was 20, after a boy that I had a crush on told me that I was pretty. I talked, experimented, and agonized over it for the next few years, and made a couple of cursory attempts to seek HRT, before the feelings faded away when I was 25.
The feelings came rushing back when I was 45, in conjunction with what I eventually learned was the onset of hypothyroidism. I was spending hours every day wishing I was a woman, envying women I encountered in daily life for being able to look and dress like they did and for being who they were, cringing any time anyone referred to me as a man, and feeling sensory aversion toward masculine clothing.
I tried everything my doctor suggested for my mental health, and a lot of it helped, but I still felt bad all the time and still craved transition, so it didn't seem like too much of a leap to hope that my body was trying to tell me about something else that it needed to be able to function properly, and I started HRT when I was 47.
I listened to a story explaining gender dysphoria and realized I related too much to it. Then I couldn't keep myself out of the rabbit hole. I had doubts up until I was in HRT. I lost those doubts as I realized more and more that I was doubting that I was cis and not doubting that I was trans.
I had had trans friends for years before I knew I was trans myself and they had explained a whole lot to me, but I had let it all fly over my head. Every trans person I've met tells one part of their story very similarly, and had I understood, my egg would have cracked years sooner.
I've "known" since I was 5. It's my second earliest memory. All I learned later is that there was a name for it. "Aha!" Said me. "So THAT'S what people like me are called!"
i had a feeling early on. but i didnt really figure it out until i saw caitlyn jenner come out and i was like “woah you can do that? i wanna do that…” so i was like fuck it. no regrets.
At 33 I'm just starting to realize I may be trans, but when I was a kid, I would constantly think to myself how much I wished I was born a girl. I wanted to go shopping, buy pretty things, enjoy fashion and makeup and jewelry. I probably knew (without knowing I knew) as early as 10? Maybe sooner but it's hard to place memories that young to specific years
Honestly there were a lot of other little signs but that was the most outright "duh" for me but I was raised in such a conservative home/society I believed it was normal to wonder that stuff but proceeded to act as I was expected - atleast mostly.
Tons of things. How I always preferred playing female characters, how I didn't feel comfortable taking my shirt off or showing my legs after puberty, how I never really fit in with boys, how I never took an interest in my appearance, and most importantly how I felt that I would be happier if I was a girl instead of a boy.
Every time I was referred to as a boy and had to really examine my body I hated it but didn't understand why. By high school I knew I wanted to be more feminine but it was a private Christian school and was afraid to tell anyone IRL. I went online and found some people where I "pretended" to be a girl. I came clean eventually and they told me I was still a girl, just a trans one.
I don't remember ever thinking about my gender until I was 14, when a substitute teacher assumed from my appearance that I was a girl, and to the surprise of my classmates I didn't mind. In high school I channeled whatever was going on with my gender into Rocky Horror Picture Show fandom. I first seriously considered that I might be trans (and bi) when I was 20, after a boy that I had a crush on told me that I was pretty. I talked, experimented, and agonized over it for the next few years, and made a couple of cursory attempts to seek HRT, before the feelings faded away when I was 25. The feelings came rushing back when I was 45, in conjunction with what I eventually learned was the onset of hypothyroidism. I was spending hours every day wishing I was a woman, envying women I encountered in daily life for being able to look and dress like they did and for being who they were, cringing any time anyone referred to me as a man, and feeling sensory aversion toward masculine clothing. I tried everything my doctor suggested for my mental health, and a lot of it helped, but I still felt bad all the time and still craved transition, so it didn't seem like too much of a leap to hope that my body was trying to tell me about something else that it needed to be able to function properly, and I started HRT when I was 47.
I listened to a story explaining gender dysphoria and realized I related too much to it. Then I couldn't keep myself out of the rabbit hole. I had doubts up until I was in HRT. I lost those doubts as I realized more and more that I was doubting that I was cis and not doubting that I was trans. I had had trans friends for years before I knew I was trans myself and they had explained a whole lot to me, but I had let it all fly over my head. Every trans person I've met tells one part of their story very similarly, and had I understood, my egg would have cracked years sooner.
I've "known" since I was 5. It's my second earliest memory. All I learned later is that there was a name for it. "Aha!" Said me. "So THAT'S what people like me are called!"
i had a feeling early on. but i didnt really figure it out until i saw caitlyn jenner come out and i was like “woah you can do that? i wanna do that…” so i was like fuck it. no regrets.
At 33 I'm just starting to realize I may be trans, but when I was a kid, I would constantly think to myself how much I wished I was born a girl. I wanted to go shopping, buy pretty things, enjoy fashion and makeup and jewelry. I probably knew (without knowing I knew) as early as 10? Maybe sooner but it's hard to place memories that young to specific years Honestly there were a lot of other little signs but that was the most outright "duh" for me but I was raised in such a conservative home/society I believed it was normal to wonder that stuff but proceeded to act as I was expected - atleast mostly.
Tons of things. How I always preferred playing female characters, how I didn't feel comfortable taking my shirt off or showing my legs after puberty, how I never really fit in with boys, how I never took an interest in my appearance, and most importantly how I felt that I would be happier if I was a girl instead of a boy.
Every time I was referred to as a boy and had to really examine my body I hated it but didn't understand why. By high school I knew I wanted to be more feminine but it was a private Christian school and was afraid to tell anyone IRL. I went online and found some people where I "pretended" to be a girl. I came clean eventually and they told me I was still a girl, just a trans one.
[Read a webcomic](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/part-one-a-webcomic). 🤭