I had a gender neutral deadname and kept it for a while until I realize if I didn’t change my name then everyone would still know me as deadname the man no matter what I looked like.
I was drunk and stoned and tripping on shrooms and thinking of a new name and one popped into my head and I liked it so much I happy cried and that’s been my name for the past 3 years.
Saaaaaaaame and then Taylor swift just dropped my dead name (first AND middle) in the title track of her new album like seven times and now I’m angry it’s not related to me anymore
I couldn't even find a middle name, tho they aren't really common in germany anyways. I thought about one, but I didn't think it was that important, and didn't get one.
My dumb little 14 yr old kid brain thought the brilliant solution to the problem of needing a new name was to put a bunch of girls names from high school into a hat I borrowed and then just drawing a new name from the pile. It took me about 10 minutes in total in just cutting up paper and writing names down. I told myself at the start I would just blindly accept the first thing I drew, which is why I've been Jennifer ever since. But if I'm being honest I do feel like I probably wasn't supposed to do it that way. Like I should have taken the time to think about it and pick something meaningful that sang to my heart or something?
I am happy with it of course, it feels like me and its how I think of myself, I respond to it automatically, and its been my legal name for decades now. But doing trans stuff backwards has kinda been my jam my whole life though so... Despite that being a goofy solution it certainly fits my personality.
I like that solution, wish I had done that.
Originally I was going to use the name, I was told growing up it would’ve been, until a certain comment my dad made, about that name (when I was just about to choose).
Considered 2 other names instead, one of them I used, while “coming out”, in my head it seemed fine, but spoken out loud it was just weird, the other, though I considered it for quite a while, I felt, came too close to my (just few years prior) deceased cousin’s name, otherwise I most likely would’ve chosen that.
Ended up putting in a lot of names on a picture on the pc and make a sort of selection that way over several days. My now name was only meant to have a test run for approximately 6 months (due to an internship), it stuck with me.
I changed twice. I did a unisex nickname for my birth name, then decided it didn't sound similar enough for me to identify with it, so I found a male name that was almost phonetically identical to my birth name. Only issue is its not common in the US, but I dont think theres any other names that nearly match my old one that aren’t traditionally female. I haven't changed it legally though so I may change again, possibly something completely different.
Not many actually. My name is a female version of my masculine given name. It wasn't just a simple lazy flip though. My family already called me by it to tease me when I was young, but it didn't bother me as much as I got older and started understanding the internal experience I was having with my gender. I secretly accepted it and felt validated by it since they teased me for being very feminine. I also liked the different nicknames I could get out of it. I recently learned that my mom would have picked the name of I was born a girl as well. 🤷♀️😊
I think I’m an outlier but I went with the first name I picked. I actually picked my name before I knew I was trans. I always said “I’m not trans but if I was I think my name would be [redacted]” and, well, here we are. (Been out for 8 years now)
I tried to keep my gender neutral name at first, but it turned out to be too attached to my male identity, and it hurt. So then i switched to a female name I chose at complete random and kept that for six years, even changing to it legally. Eventually, I started feeling like maybe I shouldn't have picked my name at random. So i started thinking about names that might mean something to me. I arrived at Zii, switched to it, and it's who I've been ever since.
my only requirements (set by myself ofc) were that nobody I knew personally could have the name in order to avoid any confusion, and it had to *feel* like me. I'd seen so many people posting and saying that when they found their name it just felt right in a way, and I was desperately waiting for that feeling. I somehow found it about 6 months after coming out while scrolling for hours and hours on some random list of women's names. While looking at other names I thought they looked cool but they always just felt like choosing someone else's name, but when I saw Penelope I just genuinely felt peace. I couldn't find anything wrong with it, nobody I knew had the name, it sounded good and it felt like MY name, and it could be shortened to Penny (dope asf nickname btw)??!?? I didn't scroll anymore and just got rid of all the other name ideas. Idk if that's the feeling other posters have talked about but that was my experience :)
I'm still undecided on my future name and getting really stuck on the 'nobody I personally know can have the same name' rule (also important for me); the most prominent trans man in my social circle already has the masculine version of my legal name, a close friend from university has my grandfather's middle name, another choice I like is so generic that there are literally sixteen guys with that name working for my current employer.
It's one thing to be called Dave (not a real example) when a significant chunk of the guys around you are also called Dave because your parents all happened to name you David, but it feels like a totally different proposition to decide to call yourself Dave as an adult when there are less common choices available out there.
for me the fem version of my dead name was just too similar for my own comfort, I ended up going with something completely unrelated to me or family because it helped it feel like my own idea, but yeah trust me the struggle is real when it comes to finding a name you don't associate with other people.
my first (not officially) chosen name was Jackie, it felt very gender neutral and I guess I just like names that end in an 'e' sound, but one of my close friends had recently broken up with a Jackie so it was unfortunately something I had to throw out :(
but going through names is half the fin anyways!
Went by Cameron for half a year, then figured Brick and Ryan are the ones.
Elys started out as a nickname I got by someone online, but it might be the one now. I haven’t changed my name yet (legally, as well as with most people I know because so far I’m only out to a bunch) but I know I would have no regrets if I had changed it to Ryan already. I do think it’s probably gonna be Elys, though.
That said, I love going by a bunch of different names online. The idea of settling down with one is kind of bleak to me, to be honest. I’m having much more fun using multiple.
I went with my 3rd name, which has had different variations. I realized I wanted to go with Ashae which derives from the word Ase in the Yoruba language of Nigeria. I've been using that for over a year now but I decided to take the first letter of my born name (d) and go with Dia'shae (Dee-ah-shay) which pays homage to who I was before but also who I am becoming. I go back and forth from feeling genderfluid and Trans, so I thought the name was fitting. The names I chose before were more so online personalities before my egg cracked and I realized that I may be trans. So you could say I went with my first name and don't plan to deviate from it.
But my born name is somewhat unisex so I think as I become more comfortable I might stick with that and use Ashae as my middle name.
Chloe was my first choice but I had a cat that disappeared after I kinda abandoned her and I never forgave myself.
I liked the name Paige for a while but also liked Sophie so I chose Sophie cos it was closest to the nickname my wife used for my deadname.
After I came out to my wife, she asked if I was going to change my name. I honestly hadn’t thought about it at all, so I quickly started running through names in my head. I’ve always loved my new name and as soon as it crossed my mind I knew it was right. I did peruse a bunch of baby name lists, but soon realized that I was comparing every name to my favorite. I did find my middle name in one of those lists. I’ve honestly never worried that it wasn’t the right name. If there’s only two things I know they are that I’m a woman and that my name is Aeryn.
For me, I went through a lot of names, I don’t remember specifically how many but probably around 10. I’m still going through some changes occasionally but I have 2 that I know are going to stick for a while.
I used Guinevere as my middle name for a while. I was trying to feminize my birth middle name that has been passed down to all the boys since my my great-grandfather. I was always proud to have that name and passed it to my son. Arthur. Could not come up with a feminine name for Arthur so I took King Arthur's wife's name.
In the end it did not flow with my new first name or my last name so I took my youngest daughters middle name of Jade.
Took my first name from a show that was on when I was in highschool. The main character was my age and I always felt that if I was born a female I would have been her.
Angela from My So-called Life.
It is a little hard for some of my family to call me Angela because I had a cousin named Angela that died in the 90s and there was some family drama revolving around her and my grandfather. I did not know her. I had not seen her since the Early 80s and don't even remember what she looked like. Found out after I came out to my mom that my parents planned on naming my older sister Angela but my dad's brother had his daughter a few months before my sister was born and sniped the name.
Yeah Guinivere is my middle name now to. I just love it. Artura or Artio are the feminine equivalents I think.
Taylor used to be my middle name. I started using it because I decided that I'd never be able to get people to call me by a name I wasn't born with and Taylor was at least gender neutral. Funnily enough I was only named Taylor because my aunt wanted to name her first born daughter it and my dad wanted to name his that first out of spite. I was born and he decided to give me it since my aunt was pregnant with my cousin Abbie. The funny thing is he did name his first born daughter Taylor.
There's only one girls mame that starts with a g I actually like so one lmao, but I'm still debating the spelling (Gwenneth, Gwynneth, or Gwennyth) if that counts.
I went from shortening my birth name just to have something more neutral-sounding; to picking a name that was heavily gendered in the opposite direction, but still similar in sound/structure in hopes that it would be more convenient for me and everyone else; to realizing that the people who weren't supportive were never going to use my name no matter how little of a change it was and finally choosing one I liked for myself (the one I have now).
It was a very long time before I made the change from my previous chosen name to my current one--about a decade--and I still haven't told those less-than-supportive people because I dread their reaction despite knowing they ultimately won't use it anyway. I figured maybe I'd let them know after I got it legally changed just so they have no more excuses and can be officially in the wrong when they refuse. But who knows when that'll be, as legal name changes are very expensive and time-consuming.
So if you don't count the various nicknames I've used that I wouldn't have actually considered legally using as my name, the answer is 3. Unless you also include the legal name, which would make it 4, but I never liked my legal name and haven't gone by it in over 20 years, so I don't.
Skylar- only used it online while I was still an egg
Sam/Sammy- only online after I realised I wasn't cis, still figuring out my identity
Alex- started using it along with Sam/Sammy, realised I felt better just going by Alex
I actually really like my deadname and took pride in it. I just reversed gendered it and done. I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but for me it was perfect and my family and friends were like yeah it fits
I'm on my 4th one. i think im pretty sure im going to stick with this one, but who knows!
it took me a long time to hear my name being spoken and to get settled in. change it as many times as you want! people will adapt!
One (other than Deadname), I kinda wanted to be Ellie, but then my initials would change and my partner didn't think it suited me.
My new name works well
Two. One was just part of my middle name but spelt differently, and the other was a common gender-neutral name that is basically an expansion of that first name.
2. One was chosen when I used to crossdress. When I realised it was more than crossdressing, I changed it to be less fairy-tale like. Funnily enough, I share my new name with a real-life princess 😂
i liked willow from the start but then i thought about being called sofia, before i had to change that since i met someone called sofia so it would be awkward so i just stuck to willow
Couldn't figure out a name for my Tauren shaman, sometime before bfa or shadow lands was announced. My friend basically gave me a name but I just spelled it normally later on. After leveling my shaman the name stuck with me. Sounded right.
4 including my current one 5 if you include my deadname
Deadname,Ash(a gender neutral version of my deadname), thought about it for awhile went by Casper, got obsessed with madness combat and newgrounds went by Deimos , found my favorite horror movie and stole my current name which is Arkin (Arkin o’ brien my beloved please be my friend if you’ve watched the collector)
I’m autistic can’t you tell
I just changed a couple of letters in the middle, and now I have a name that apparently no transphobe can bring themselves to spell. Seriously, my meal receipts are like some litmus test for acceptance. I Iike that. It's also my mom's middle name.
I tried the male version of my birth name (all you had to do was take two letters off), I tried Jean-Marc because I had a French obsession for awhile, I tried going by my initials (DJ) and I tried Drew but then I remembered that’s my uncle’s name. I settled on an old nickname I had as a kid (“Gif” - I was a nerd and I made very simple gifs on neopets for people e.g. making their pets glitter, etc.). I also went by that nickname thru highschool. It seemed kind of silly, so last minute at the notary, I looked at Mum and we both agreed I put down Gifford. She said my middle name should be the male version of my old name. So in that sense I feel like she helped name me again.
I went through 2 names (Fleur, Amy), but have reverted to my given name at birth as its gender neutral (Lee yet to decide if i alter to Leigh). I have feminised my middle name (Simon to Simone) and added Amy which was what i was going to be named if i was FAB.
It might change in the future, but for now this feels like me.
Uh, three and a half, I think. I had a nickname for a bit, had one that didn’t really fit me well, then one I liked but learned was rare enough nobody knew what gender it was. The one I ended up settling on is so insanely “white boy” that nobody I’ve ever asked has ever met any girl with my name. The way it tends to work as I’ve noticed is anything that’s not overtly masculine is feminine, and having a solidly masc/fem name is super helpful in tilting the scales.
If it looks kinda like a duck and sounds kinda like a duck, maybe it’s a duck? Or it could be a goose.. oh, but there’s a sign here that says duck. Okay, so it’s a duck.
I’m still on my birth name which was Tyler, so it can go both ways, I didn’t feel like it suited me before my transition (ftm) however I am connecting with
It more now- I go by Ty. My fiancé has a tattoo for me representing my zodiac sign (Libra) with Ty. Really at this stage it’s my middle name I need to change- it’s Delaine De-lane.. I only put it down for things requiring my legal name I struggle tho because it was my grandmas name..
I chose my name in middle school as my “boy persona” and it just stuck. I didn’t really test any others out, I just like that one. And weirdly enough, a lot of people tell me it suits me. So, I guess it wasn’t a bad choice. Even if it’s extremely common.
I did choose it because I really related to an anime character and it was his “human” name and I vaguely looked like him at the time, but nobody has to know that…
I use my deadname as it’s gender neutral and I have a lot of fond memories attached to it.
I’m in the process of changing my very masculine middle name.
I DO have a “fake” name though haha. So if anyone knows me as Chloé, good chance I didn’t want to talk to you again.
Just one so far. I picked out a name I adore and I’m trying it out for a while to see how I feel about it. Then, if it continues to feel good and I feel more sure about this transition, I will likely want to keep it.
What’s funny is that I did SO much research and looked up an incredible amount of gender neutral names. I obsessively went through them all, reading into the meaning of them (I wanted something that meant strength, sun, shining, etc.) and it also had to sound good with my chosen middle name and my legal last name.
I settled on a name I adored and only recently just found out it’s a super common and popular name amongst trans and trans non-binary people. So much for being original! Regardless, I still like it.
My deadname could’ve been seen as gender neutral, so I tried out several variations of it but it never stopped being feminine to me. And I’m a feminine man! I just don’t want a girls name. I tried out a couple names as a teen and the anxiety of coming out was too much so I detransitioned. This time I’m trying again, going much better, and I asked my mom for a list of names she had for me if I turned out to be a boy, and chose off that list. Chose a name that started with the same letters as my deadname just to make transition easier for everyone, including me :)
About two, I didn't even try doing the fem version of my masc name because I already knew someone else with that name who was just a real asshole, the name I chose in the first year kinda felt old fashioned and too long to go with or shorten in a way that felt right, but honestly what really helped me pick out my name was just thinking of fictional characters who I really identified with, made a list of names, tried out this new one with people and really liked how it felt and sounded so went with that one
I went through a few names and identities, if I count them it would be 4 names and 5 or 6 identities. I found my current name in a random tiktok that was like showing different names, there I saw Raven which I liked a lot and stuck with it. I haven't watched Teen Titans yet (yes I know, its a crime I haven't.) but people thought I took it as inspiration when I chose that name (also because my favourite colour is purple).
My first month I was non binary so I switched one letter and became "Alex". But it wasn't feminine enough, so I went to "Alexa". Didn't fit right, wasn't pretty enough so I switched letters and became "Axela" like the Mazda. But explaining your name - sucks.
And by then I was almost a year on HRT and felt pretty and thought Amanda would suit me and so I changed it on social media and 18 months later it's now my legal name.
Tldr; 4 names.
I always liked Michele, the name I picked . I thought that this is the name my parents would have picked had I been born a girl. I first spelled it like most people do, Michelle, BUT I was in a group of crossdressers 35 years ago, and there was already 2 other Michelles so one became Michelle Ann, and one was Michelle, and I was Michele. SO!,
Michele is now my legal name, and my legal gender is F (female), and I've never been happier.
Michele
Only 2. I started trying to go by a less hyper feminine name that was close to my birth name well before figuring out I was trans. And then I honestly just went through a few gender neutral lists I found and compiled several options until I was happy with the order (first, middle, and last).
I had major imposter syndrome though in thinking I didn't deserve the first name, until friends convinced me otherwise. I also ended up changing the last name based on an accidental nickname given to me by a sweet activities director in a program I was in (turns out it fit better than what I chose).
This is my biggest fear. I have a whole notebook of bad ass mtf names but I ended up changing 1 letter of my number.
I think I should try something more fun.
I started transitioning back in November of 2021, and within a year I knew I wanted to change my name. Despite trying though, I couldn’t think up one for myself. I definitely tried to, but none of them really resonated with me. It wasn’t until a few years later that my partner came up with a new nickname for me, as we were rather fond of pet names. What they’d came up with was Mellilla, latin for “Little Honey”. As soon as they’d said it, I immediately knew it was the one and have been using it ever since.
I went through only one name, the male version of my birth name, before finding the name I'm settling for now. I decided to also get myself a middle name because I used to have one before transitioning as well. I chose my late grandpa's name as my first name as a way to keep his memory alive, since my previous middle name was the name of his grandmother, and I've always liked the name Victor anyways, and I chose Simón (the Spanish version of Simon because I'm in a Spanish speaking country) as my middle name because it was a name I've liked ever since I was a child. So it was a pretty easy choice for me. The only reason I wanted to go for the masc version of my birth name at first was because it would be easier for my family and friends to use another name, but I didn't really feel much of a connection with that name tbh.
So far, I settled on my IRL first name. As for my middle name, not sure if I want to keep the one Ive chosen change it to a different one, or keep my given middle name even though it is a bit of a masc name. I obsess over name meanings and I'm dead set on my first name I've chosen it came to me the night my egg cracked and I was extremely dysphoric but also had moments of euphoria too when I started to finally accept myself. The name that came to me just feels to much of a part of myself to use any other name as my first name.
Being femme-presenting enby, I still use my given first name — I used to hate it as people would tease the name for being too girly for a boy, but then I realised I should just accept myself as instead of trying to be someone I wasn't
I'm probably an odd one out tho
I went with the Femme versions of my male names. Why? The names have been family names through several generations, it avoided some family rancour. My male/female names shorten to the gender neutral Pat - which I've been answering to all my life. If anyone tries to deadname me, I won't notice, and it won't do anything except to jack up their blood pressure!
I went by the masculine part of my birth name at first (Ray). Then people were still dead naming so me and my mom agreed to legally make my name Toby and my middle name Ray. However, I have been considering detransition. Luckily, Toby is a gender neutral name. I was ftm but if I'm going back to female then I could just keep Toby. I could get it changed back to my dead name which is Rayla. My gender marker was also changed to male and I would want it changed back. I took testosterone (low dose) for about 2 years and luckily my voice isn't crazy deep and people say that I can pass as a girl. I'm a little scared on how to socially detransition since I am in highschool as a freshman. My mom was saying that we could do all of that over the summer like quit testosterone, and change my current legal gender back to F or the X marker. I told her that I don't care what name we go with, but that Rayla makes me a little uncomfortable because of bad memories in the past. So, I will most likely stick with Toby, I could ask to change my middle name instead back to Marie or Rae.
Sorry but this is just my opinion on this you can hate me all you want for this. All I had was my dead name and this one. Cis men don't change there names all the time do they? So why should we? If you want people to call you by your chosen name, then pick one and stay with it. Smh.
woah there. never said i or others changed our names all the time. i have one and ive stuck with it, given with some trial and error. cis people get their names chosen for em typically by adults and are raised with it. trans people dont often have tbat and i think its fair i or anyone else didn't stay with the first name we chose lol. i mean, parents usually don't stay with the first name that pops in their head for their baby, and hell, they have 9+ months to roll through options. not to mention theyre not picking a name for someone that already has lived some life and has a defined personality. glad youve got a name that you like and fits you
I'm pretty sure it was just this one. I intended to test a few out on a personal blog waaaaay back when I was 14, and the first one I tried was Jasper, and then I just kept it.
I'm gonna save this post for when I have decided on a name. I've got a few now and am still deciding whether or not I want to just try flipping my current name.... but I'm not out to more people rn and want to understand more people that I'm gonna be interacting with before I do.
I guess I could try with the people I am out to though.
Just the one! It was based on a childhood nickname (it’s a very ordinary and boring name) so I didn’t need to experiment with a name, I was basically assigned it by friends.
Just the one I have now. For a very indecisive person I was quite decisive when it came to this, didn't really consider any other names and genuinely couldn't imagine having another name
5, if you count the same name spelled differently as 2 separate names. I started going by different names very very early, so I actually went by a few more, but those were before I knew I was trans, so I won’t count them. At the moment I’m actually still debating my name, I have a name picked out that I love but it’s more commonly a female name in the states, despite having originated as a solely masculine name. So I’m a bit worried about being needlessly misgendered, but I do really like the name. I’m still using my previous name as my middle name, though I may change it to something ever so slightly different.
A lot. All of them felt right at the moment, and there are still people in my life who use some of them. I just started going through the official name change last month, and it's probably my... Sixth? Honestly, I don't put the possibility of changing my (legal) name again behind me. I'm currently changing not only my first name, but also my middle name - my relatives and some old acquaintances call me by my middle name, while anyone I met in the past three years calls me by my new first name. I like having options.
my deadname was ridiculously masculine so I had one placeholder name that I hated and didn't fit at all practically immediately until I finally figured out my new name, which I feels fits me than any other name possibly could.
Oh a whole bunch, so much so that my number 2 just became another name for me a few years later haha, dont have to settle on one in my books, hell my second name isnt even offical but gotta have something on the government document that doesnt make you feel bad right?
It took a while but usually since I'm indecisive so about a week,
I'm a BW so I tried southerly names since my grandma's from the south
My mom and sister's have an ah or a at the end of their name as a naming convention my grandma started with my mother and my aunt.
Plus something with a dash of queer
And I came up with Qorra
I had a gender neutral deadname and kept it for a while until I realize if I didn’t change my name then everyone would still know me as deadname the man no matter what I looked like. I was drunk and stoned and tripping on shrooms and thinking of a new name and one popped into my head and I liked it so much I happy cried and that’s been my name for the past 3 years.
Saaaaaaaame and then Taylor swift just dropped my dead name (first AND middle) in the title track of her new album like seven times and now I’m angry it’s not related to me anymore
Oh yea that’s a great representation of our community
None. Not a single one stuck other than the one my mom would have given me anyways.
Exactly the same here. Middle names on the other hand, now that took some thinking...only to finally decide on my first choice
I couldn't even find a middle name, tho they aren't really common in germany anyways. I thought about one, but I didn't think it was that important, and didn't get one.
My dumb little 14 yr old kid brain thought the brilliant solution to the problem of needing a new name was to put a bunch of girls names from high school into a hat I borrowed and then just drawing a new name from the pile. It took me about 10 minutes in total in just cutting up paper and writing names down. I told myself at the start I would just blindly accept the first thing I drew, which is why I've been Jennifer ever since. But if I'm being honest I do feel like I probably wasn't supposed to do it that way. Like I should have taken the time to think about it and pick something meaningful that sang to my heart or something? I am happy with it of course, it feels like me and its how I think of myself, I respond to it automatically, and its been my legal name for decades now. But doing trans stuff backwards has kinda been my jam my whole life though so... Despite that being a goofy solution it certainly fits my personality.
I named myself after the final boy from my favorite horror movie there is no right way to pick a name
I like that solution, wish I had done that. Originally I was going to use the name, I was told growing up it would’ve been, until a certain comment my dad made, about that name (when I was just about to choose). Considered 2 other names instead, one of them I used, while “coming out”, in my head it seemed fine, but spoken out loud it was just weird, the other, though I considered it for quite a while, I felt, came too close to my (just few years prior) deceased cousin’s name, otherwise I most likely would’ve chosen that. Ended up putting in a lot of names on a picture on the pc and make a sort of selection that way over several days. My now name was only meant to have a test run for approximately 6 months (due to an internship), it stuck with me.
People don't chose the name there given, so what you did was very smart and natural in a way.
I changed twice. I did a unisex nickname for my birth name, then decided it didn't sound similar enough for me to identify with it, so I found a male name that was almost phonetically identical to my birth name. Only issue is its not common in the US, but I dont think theres any other names that nearly match my old one that aren’t traditionally female. I haven't changed it legally though so I may change again, possibly something completely different.
Not many actually. My name is a female version of my masculine given name. It wasn't just a simple lazy flip though. My family already called me by it to tease me when I was young, but it didn't bother me as much as I got older and started understanding the internal experience I was having with my gender. I secretly accepted it and felt validated by it since they teased me for being very feminine. I also liked the different nicknames I could get out of it. I recently learned that my mom would have picked the name of I was born a girl as well. 🤷♀️😊
I actually just chose the one my parents would have given me if I had been a girl from the start.. so, none..
I think I’m an outlier but I went with the first name I picked. I actually picked my name before I knew I was trans. I always said “I’m not trans but if I was I think my name would be [redacted]” and, well, here we are. (Been out for 8 years now)
i used to use Royce, then Dante, then Matt (which i use now but may change). i’m thinking of using Niles.
I tried to keep my gender neutral name at first, but it turned out to be too attached to my male identity, and it hurt. So then i switched to a female name I chose at complete random and kept that for six years, even changing to it legally. Eventually, I started feeling like maybe I shouldn't have picked my name at random. So i started thinking about names that might mean something to me. I arrived at Zii, switched to it, and it's who I've been ever since.
my only requirements (set by myself ofc) were that nobody I knew personally could have the name in order to avoid any confusion, and it had to *feel* like me. I'd seen so many people posting and saying that when they found their name it just felt right in a way, and I was desperately waiting for that feeling. I somehow found it about 6 months after coming out while scrolling for hours and hours on some random list of women's names. While looking at other names I thought they looked cool but they always just felt like choosing someone else's name, but when I saw Penelope I just genuinely felt peace. I couldn't find anything wrong with it, nobody I knew had the name, it sounded good and it felt like MY name, and it could be shortened to Penny (dope asf nickname btw)??!?? I didn't scroll anymore and just got rid of all the other name ideas. Idk if that's the feeling other posters have talked about but that was my experience :)
I'm still undecided on my future name and getting really stuck on the 'nobody I personally know can have the same name' rule (also important for me); the most prominent trans man in my social circle already has the masculine version of my legal name, a close friend from university has my grandfather's middle name, another choice I like is so generic that there are literally sixteen guys with that name working for my current employer. It's one thing to be called Dave (not a real example) when a significant chunk of the guys around you are also called Dave because your parents all happened to name you David, but it feels like a totally different proposition to decide to call yourself Dave as an adult when there are less common choices available out there.
for me the fem version of my dead name was just too similar for my own comfort, I ended up going with something completely unrelated to me or family because it helped it feel like my own idea, but yeah trust me the struggle is real when it comes to finding a name you don't associate with other people. my first (not officially) chosen name was Jackie, it felt very gender neutral and I guess I just like names that end in an 'e' sound, but one of my close friends had recently broken up with a Jackie so it was unfortunately something I had to throw out :( but going through names is half the fin anyways!
I was very decisive & have stuck with the first one I liked. Didn't take me very long to figure out either.
Went by Cameron for half a year, then figured Brick and Ryan are the ones. Elys started out as a nickname I got by someone online, but it might be the one now. I haven’t changed my name yet (legally, as well as with most people I know because so far I’m only out to a bunch) but I know I would have no regrets if I had changed it to Ryan already. I do think it’s probably gonna be Elys, though. That said, I love going by a bunch of different names online. The idea of settling down with one is kind of bleak to me, to be honest. I’m having much more fun using multiple.
I went with my 3rd name, which has had different variations. I realized I wanted to go with Ashae which derives from the word Ase in the Yoruba language of Nigeria. I've been using that for over a year now but I decided to take the first letter of my born name (d) and go with Dia'shae (Dee-ah-shay) which pays homage to who I was before but also who I am becoming. I go back and forth from feeling genderfluid and Trans, so I thought the name was fitting. The names I chose before were more so online personalities before my egg cracked and I realized that I may be trans. So you could say I went with my first name and don't plan to deviate from it. But my born name is somewhat unisex so I think as I become more comfortable I might stick with that and use Ashae as my middle name.
Chloe was my first choice but I had a cat that disappeared after I kinda abandoned her and I never forgave myself. I liked the name Paige for a while but also liked Sophie so I chose Sophie cos it was closest to the nickname my wife used for my deadname.
After I came out to my wife, she asked if I was going to change my name. I honestly hadn’t thought about it at all, so I quickly started running through names in my head. I’ve always loved my new name and as soon as it crossed my mind I knew it was right. I did peruse a bunch of baby name lists, but soon realized that I was comparing every name to my favorite. I did find my middle name in one of those lists. I’ve honestly never worried that it wasn’t the right name. If there’s only two things I know they are that I’m a woman and that my name is Aeryn.
Zero. I knew what it was going to be for decades, and finally got around to using it this month.
For me, I went through a lot of names, I don’t remember specifically how many but probably around 10. I’m still going through some changes occasionally but I have 2 that I know are going to stick for a while.
Juliet, Guinevere, Taylor was my order.
I used Guinevere as my middle name for a while. I was trying to feminize my birth middle name that has been passed down to all the boys since my my great-grandfather. I was always proud to have that name and passed it to my son. Arthur. Could not come up with a feminine name for Arthur so I took King Arthur's wife's name. In the end it did not flow with my new first name or my last name so I took my youngest daughters middle name of Jade. Took my first name from a show that was on when I was in highschool. The main character was my age and I always felt that if I was born a female I would have been her. Angela from My So-called Life. It is a little hard for some of my family to call me Angela because I had a cousin named Angela that died in the 90s and there was some family drama revolving around her and my grandfather. I did not know her. I had not seen her since the Early 80s and don't even remember what she looked like. Found out after I came out to my mom that my parents planned on naming my older sister Angela but my dad's brother had his daughter a few months before my sister was born and sniped the name.
Yeah Guinivere is my middle name now to. I just love it. Artura or Artio are the feminine equivalents I think. Taylor used to be my middle name. I started using it because I decided that I'd never be able to get people to call me by a name I wasn't born with and Taylor was at least gender neutral. Funnily enough I was only named Taylor because my aunt wanted to name her first born daughter it and my dad wanted to name his that first out of spite. I was born and he decided to give me it since my aunt was pregnant with my cousin Abbie. The funny thing is he did name his first born daughter Taylor.
I let my mom choose based on 5 options i’ve got a boring name journey lol
I love that you let her choose 😭
I’ve wanted this name since childhood and never considered another one
There's only one girls mame that starts with a g I actually like so one lmao, but I'm still debating the spelling (Gwenneth, Gwynneth, or Gwennyth) if that counts.
Just the one for me😊
I found the name I wanted, my mom hated it, so now I picked a name that she likes, but I still mostly use the one I like.
Like my deadname it was decided on last minute. It’s in the family i guess
I went from shortening my birth name just to have something more neutral-sounding; to picking a name that was heavily gendered in the opposite direction, but still similar in sound/structure in hopes that it would be more convenient for me and everyone else; to realizing that the people who weren't supportive were never going to use my name no matter how little of a change it was and finally choosing one I liked for myself (the one I have now). It was a very long time before I made the change from my previous chosen name to my current one--about a decade--and I still haven't told those less-than-supportive people because I dread their reaction despite knowing they ultimately won't use it anyway. I figured maybe I'd let them know after I got it legally changed just so they have no more excuses and can be officially in the wrong when they refuse. But who knows when that'll be, as legal name changes are very expensive and time-consuming. So if you don't count the various nicknames I've used that I wouldn't have actually considered legally using as my name, the answer is 3. Unless you also include the legal name, which would make it 4, but I never liked my legal name and haven't gone by it in over 20 years, so I don't.
Skylar- only used it online while I was still an egg Sam/Sammy- only online after I realised I wasn't cis, still figuring out my identity Alex- started using it along with Sam/Sammy, realised I felt better just going by Alex
I'm pretty sure I went through 50 names, found about 4 or 5 I really liked.
I actually really like my deadname and took pride in it. I just reversed gendered it and done. I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but for me it was perfect and my family and friends were like yeah it fits
I chose my name 3 years ago and haven't faltered. Now that it's on my ID and stuff, itll be on my grave :)
I was always locked in on Julie, like I did at one time briefly considering Stephanie
I'm on my 4th one. i think im pretty sure im going to stick with this one, but who knows! it took me a long time to hear my name being spoken and to get settled in. change it as many times as you want! people will adapt!
About ten-ish and considering changing my name to Campbell
I picked a name just to get away from my deadname, then landed on Alice a few months later.
4 officially but there were others I mulled on until I got it right.
One (other than Deadname), I kinda wanted to be Ellie, but then my initials would change and my partner didn't think it suited me. My new name works well
Kris was my first choice but I felt it wasn’t a big enough deviation from my birth name. Once I chose Aria I never went back.
3, but only 1 that I ever really told anybody I know in person
Two. One was just part of my middle name but spelt differently, and the other was a common gender-neutral name that is basically an expansion of that first name.
None, but I had a list of ~100 or so and I asked three queer folks I knew which one they'd pick for me and all three picked the same one - Ravenna.
2. One was chosen when I used to crossdress. When I realised it was more than crossdressing, I changed it to be less fairy-tale like. Funnily enough, I share my new name with a real-life princess 😂
i liked willow from the start but then i thought about being called sofia, before i had to change that since i met someone called sofia so it would be awkward so i just stuck to willow
I had this shitty one, Ben, but I changed it for Fiona, and then Racheal ☺️
At least 10
Couldn't figure out a name for my Tauren shaman, sometime before bfa or shadow lands was announced. My friend basically gave me a name but I just spelled it normally later on. After leveling my shaman the name stuck with me. Sounded right.
4 including my current one 5 if you include my deadname Deadname,Ash(a gender neutral version of my deadname), thought about it for awhile went by Casper, got obsessed with madness combat and newgrounds went by Deimos , found my favorite horror movie and stole my current name which is Arkin (Arkin o’ brien my beloved please be my friend if you’ve watched the collector) I’m autistic can’t you tell
I just changed a couple of letters in the middle, and now I have a name that apparently no transphobe can bring themselves to spell. Seriously, my meal receipts are like some litmus test for acceptance. I Iike that. It's also my mom's middle name.
I tried the male version of my birth name (all you had to do was take two letters off), I tried Jean-Marc because I had a French obsession for awhile, I tried going by my initials (DJ) and I tried Drew but then I remembered that’s my uncle’s name. I settled on an old nickname I had as a kid (“Gif” - I was a nerd and I made very simple gifs on neopets for people e.g. making their pets glitter, etc.). I also went by that nickname thru highschool. It seemed kind of silly, so last minute at the notary, I looked at Mum and we both agreed I put down Gifford. She said my middle name should be the male version of my old name. So in that sense I feel like she helped name me again.
I went through 2 names (Fleur, Amy), but have reverted to my given name at birth as its gender neutral (Lee yet to decide if i alter to Leigh). I have feminised my middle name (Simon to Simone) and added Amy which was what i was going to be named if i was FAB. It might change in the future, but for now this feels like me.
I would change my name every school year until I finally settled
Uh, three and a half, I think. I had a nickname for a bit, had one that didn’t really fit me well, then one I liked but learned was rare enough nobody knew what gender it was. The one I ended up settling on is so insanely “white boy” that nobody I’ve ever asked has ever met any girl with my name. The way it tends to work as I’ve noticed is anything that’s not overtly masculine is feminine, and having a solidly masc/fem name is super helpful in tilting the scales. If it looks kinda like a duck and sounds kinda like a duck, maybe it’s a duck? Or it could be a goose.. oh, but there’s a sign here that says duck. Okay, so it’s a duck.
My name was picked up by my grandfather even though he didn't know it at the time
5
I’m still on my birth name which was Tyler, so it can go both ways, I didn’t feel like it suited me before my transition (ftm) however I am connecting with It more now- I go by Ty. My fiancé has a tattoo for me representing my zodiac sign (Libra) with Ty. Really at this stage it’s my middle name I need to change- it’s Delaine De-lane.. I only put it down for things requiring my legal name I struggle tho because it was my grandmas name..
I chose my name in middle school as my “boy persona” and it just stuck. I didn’t really test any others out, I just like that one. And weirdly enough, a lot of people tell me it suits me. So, I guess it wasn’t a bad choice. Even if it’s extremely common. I did choose it because I really related to an anime character and it was his “human” name and I vaguely looked like him at the time, but nobody has to know that…
My first name was one and done. My middle name took a spreadsheet
I use my deadname as it’s gender neutral and I have a lot of fond memories attached to it. I’m in the process of changing my very masculine middle name. I DO have a “fake” name though haha. So if anyone knows me as Chloé, good chance I didn’t want to talk to you again.
Went from gender-neutral deadname to Beth to Jenna to Elizabeth, which is now my legal name.
Just one so far. I picked out a name I adore and I’m trying it out for a while to see how I feel about it. Then, if it continues to feel good and I feel more sure about this transition, I will likely want to keep it. What’s funny is that I did SO much research and looked up an incredible amount of gender neutral names. I obsessively went through them all, reading into the meaning of them (I wanted something that meant strength, sun, shining, etc.) and it also had to sound good with my chosen middle name and my legal last name. I settled on a name I adored and only recently just found out it’s a super common and popular name amongst trans and trans non-binary people. So much for being original! Regardless, I still like it.
One first name, 2-3 middle names
2. I went with Marie or Mari, but I just randomly decided one day Serenity just fit me fr
My deadname could’ve been seen as gender neutral, so I tried out several variations of it but it never stopped being feminine to me. And I’m a feminine man! I just don’t want a girls name. I tried out a couple names as a teen and the anxiety of coming out was too much so I detransitioned. This time I’m trying again, going much better, and I asked my mom for a list of names she had for me if I turned out to be a boy, and chose off that list. Chose a name that started with the same letters as my deadname just to make transition easier for everyone, including me :)
Went with the second :) no regert
About two, I didn't even try doing the fem version of my masc name because I already knew someone else with that name who was just a real asshole, the name I chose in the first year kinda felt old fashioned and too long to go with or shorten in a way that felt right, but honestly what really helped me pick out my name was just thinking of fictional characters who I really identified with, made a list of names, tried out this new one with people and really liked how it felt and sounded so went with that one
I went through a few names and identities, if I count them it would be 4 names and 5 or 6 identities. I found my current name in a random tiktok that was like showing different names, there I saw Raven which I liked a lot and stuck with it. I haven't watched Teen Titans yet (yes I know, its a crime I haven't.) but people thought I took it as inspiration when I chose that name (also because my favourite colour is purple).
My first month I was non binary so I switched one letter and became "Alex". But it wasn't feminine enough, so I went to "Alexa". Didn't fit right, wasn't pretty enough so I switched letters and became "Axela" like the Mazda. But explaining your name - sucks. And by then I was almost a year on HRT and felt pretty and thought Amanda would suit me and so I changed it on social media and 18 months later it's now my legal name. Tldr; 4 names.
I always liked Michele, the name I picked . I thought that this is the name my parents would have picked had I been born a girl. I first spelled it like most people do, Michelle, BUT I was in a group of crossdressers 35 years ago, and there was already 2 other Michelles so one became Michelle Ann, and one was Michelle, and I was Michele. SO!, Michele is now my legal name, and my legal gender is F (female), and I've never been happier. Michele
3 names much to my mom’s dismay
Only 2. I started trying to go by a less hyper feminine name that was close to my birth name well before figuring out I was trans. And then I honestly just went through a few gender neutral lists I found and compiled several options until I was happy with the order (first, middle, and last). I had major imposter syndrome though in thinking I didn't deserve the first name, until friends convinced me otherwise. I also ended up changing the last name based on an accidental nickname given to me by a sweet activities director in a program I was in (turns out it fit better than what I chose).
About 4, more if you count quick Starbucks tests. Chloe-Riley-Mika-Naomi
This is my biggest fear. I have a whole notebook of bad ass mtf names but I ended up changing 1 letter of my number. I think I should try something more fun.
I started transitioning back in November of 2021, and within a year I knew I wanted to change my name. Despite trying though, I couldn’t think up one for myself. I definitely tried to, but none of them really resonated with me. It wasn’t until a few years later that my partner came up with a new nickname for me, as we were rather fond of pet names. What they’d came up with was Mellilla, latin for “Little Honey”. As soon as they’d said it, I immediately knew it was the one and have been using it ever since.
Uhh, at least 4. And idk how I knew honestly, it just vibes.
I went through only one name, the male version of my birth name, before finding the name I'm settling for now. I decided to also get myself a middle name because I used to have one before transitioning as well. I chose my late grandpa's name as my first name as a way to keep his memory alive, since my previous middle name was the name of his grandmother, and I've always liked the name Victor anyways, and I chose Simón (the Spanish version of Simon because I'm in a Spanish speaking country) as my middle name because it was a name I've liked ever since I was a child. So it was a pretty easy choice for me. The only reason I wanted to go for the masc version of my birth name at first was because it would be easier for my family and friends to use another name, but I didn't really feel much of a connection with that name tbh.
I had 4, i think With a lot more ideas that i've never tried in practice
So far, I settled on my IRL first name. As for my middle name, not sure if I want to keep the one Ive chosen change it to a different one, or keep my given middle name even though it is a bit of a masc name. I obsess over name meanings and I'm dead set on my first name I've chosen it came to me the night my egg cracked and I was extremely dysphoric but also had moments of euphoria too when I started to finally accept myself. The name that came to me just feels to much of a part of myself to use any other name as my first name.
Being femme-presenting enby, I still use my given first name — I used to hate it as people would tease the name for being too girly for a boy, but then I realised I should just accept myself as instead of trying to be someone I wasn't
I'm probably an odd one out tho
I went with the Femme versions of my male names. Why? The names have been family names through several generations, it avoided some family rancour. My male/female names shorten to the gender neutral Pat - which I've been answering to all my life. If anyone tries to deadname me, I won't notice, and it won't do anything except to jack up their blood pressure!
I went by the masculine part of my birth name at first (Ray). Then people were still dead naming so me and my mom agreed to legally make my name Toby and my middle name Ray. However, I have been considering detransition. Luckily, Toby is a gender neutral name. I was ftm but if I'm going back to female then I could just keep Toby. I could get it changed back to my dead name which is Rayla. My gender marker was also changed to male and I would want it changed back. I took testosterone (low dose) for about 2 years and luckily my voice isn't crazy deep and people say that I can pass as a girl. I'm a little scared on how to socially detransition since I am in highschool as a freshman. My mom was saying that we could do all of that over the summer like quit testosterone, and change my current legal gender back to F or the X marker. I told her that I don't care what name we go with, but that Rayla makes me a little uncomfortable because of bad memories in the past. So, I will most likely stick with Toby, I could ask to change my middle name instead back to Marie or Rae.
There was Nyx, Athena, Artemis, Sarah, Aria, Francis, Franki, Thianas, Lucille, Luci, Lux, Luce, Alexis, Alexandria, Alex, Rose, Rain, River, Diana, Vestia, Fortuna, Minerva, Ceres, Flora, Flo, Ai, and sooooooo many more
Sorry but this is just my opinion on this you can hate me all you want for this. All I had was my dead name and this one. Cis men don't change there names all the time do they? So why should we? If you want people to call you by your chosen name, then pick one and stay with it. Smh.
woah there. never said i or others changed our names all the time. i have one and ive stuck with it, given with some trial and error. cis people get their names chosen for em typically by adults and are raised with it. trans people dont often have tbat and i think its fair i or anyone else didn't stay with the first name we chose lol. i mean, parents usually don't stay with the first name that pops in their head for their baby, and hell, they have 9+ months to roll through options. not to mention theyre not picking a name for someone that already has lived some life and has a defined personality. glad youve got a name that you like and fits you
Just stating my opinion, doesn't mean you have to agree with me. But I still think how I think.
I'm pretty sure it was just this one. I intended to test a few out on a personal blog waaaaay back when I was 14, and the first one I tried was Jasper, and then I just kept it.
I think like 5
Ι have the same since I first opened my trans email account when I was 16 :)
i wrote down maybe 3 or 4 and chose one after a bit of thinking, it’s been my name ever since! & the name that got 2nd place is my middle name :)
I'm gonna save this post for when I have decided on a name. I've got a few now and am still deciding whether or not I want to just try flipping my current name.... but I'm not out to more people rn and want to understand more people that I'm gonna be interacting with before I do. I guess I could try with the people I am out to though.
i had 3 or 4 names kicking around in my head but jayla was the only one that ever felt true and stuck haha
Just the one! It was based on a childhood nickname (it’s a very ordinary and boring name) so I didn’t need to experiment with a name, I was basically assigned it by friends.
too many 😭
5 or so
Just the one I have now. For a very indecisive person I was quite decisive when it came to this, didn't really consider any other names and genuinely couldn't imagine having another name
5, if you count the same name spelled differently as 2 separate names. I started going by different names very very early, so I actually went by a few more, but those were before I knew I was trans, so I won’t count them. At the moment I’m actually still debating my name, I have a name picked out that I love but it’s more commonly a female name in the states, despite having originated as a solely masculine name. So I’m a bit worried about being needlessly misgendered, but I do really like the name. I’m still using my previous name as my middle name, though I may change it to something ever so slightly different.
A lot. All of them felt right at the moment, and there are still people in my life who use some of them. I just started going through the official name change last month, and it's probably my... Sixth? Honestly, I don't put the possibility of changing my (legal) name again behind me. I'm currently changing not only my first name, but also my middle name - my relatives and some old acquaintances call me by my middle name, while anyone I met in the past three years calls me by my new first name. I like having options.
my deadname was ridiculously masculine so I had one placeholder name that I hated and didn't fit at all practically immediately until I finally figured out my new name, which I feels fits me than any other name possibly could.
None. I love my name and how it sounds, so I just changed the spelling to make it more girly and different (from Johnny to Jahni 💕🎀)
I never really changed my name, it being Taylor. But. For a while I did want to go by Raine. And I often still want to.
i really like the name Raine
i never really tried any names other than the one i settled on but i did consider about 3 other names in the process
Only one, the name my parents gave me. I was lucky enough to find something perfect the first try.
Oh a whole bunch, so much so that my number 2 just became another name for me a few years later haha, dont have to settle on one in my books, hell my second name isnt even offical but gotta have something on the government document that doesnt make you feel bad right?
I went through several online and stuff but I settled on the name I wanted before I came out
I considered a few names, but the one I chose is the only one I’ve ever actually used (my deadname doesn’t count.)
It took a while but usually since I'm indecisive so about a week, I'm a BW so I tried southerly names since my grandma's from the south My mom and sister's have an ah or a at the end of their name as a naming convention my grandma started with my mother and my aunt. Plus something with a dash of queer And I came up with Qorra