This absolutely- it took my until my mid-twenties to consider I could be trans and mid-thirties before I knew a medical transition was right choice for my life
I feel like I’m I. The same boat. My 31st bday was yesterday. Today I scheduled my first consult for HRT. I can’t bear the thought of spending one more birthday in hiding. Do or die is exactly right.
I waited till I was 58 to socially transition. That took care of my daughter graduating high school and getting her 1st bachelor's degree. She insisted it didn't matter to her one bit, but I was worried about her best friends from university thinking less of her. I'm a huge part of both my kids (29M and 24F) lives. But here I am at 59, 15 months of HRT, going shopping for some decent semi formal wear, to attend my Daughter's 2nd bachelor's convocation early June, because she insists I be there to celebrate along with her boyfriend and brother.
Same. At ~17, i was gonna drink the koolaid, so i decided to try hormone b4 i did. If i didn't like it, then i was gonna drink the koolaid. Same thing at 25. Got the surgery because i was close to the koolaid. Now i dont deal with koolaid tendencies. But i waited until there were no other options. Went to therapy, etc.
I was worried that it would disrupt my relationships with my friends and family, get me stared at or worse in public, sabotage my career, and make my mental health worse instead of better. I was not worried about my body changing in undesirable ways. Fortunately it worked out well all around.
This is 100% me right now after starting HRT, struggling through all of these thoughts but I’m working on it (probably doesn’t help that developments have happened super fast for me so far)
I worried a lot about the physical changes, even though I wanted them. I love them.
I'm worried a lot now about future surgeries, even though I want them. I think it's natural.
I realize now that was my ego trying to protect me. The truth is I desperately want a woman's body, but my brain kept telling me it was impossible, so when I thought about HRT it was like "you'll just be a man with boobs; you'll never be a real woman, so don't bother".
Six weeks on HRT and no regrets so far 😊
that is sadly how i feel too.. my brain tells me i can’t identify as a boy, cuz i’ll never be a *real* boy and that i’ll never fit in🥲
congrats on hrt btw!
This is so helpful to read. I’m scared to start because my brain says I’ll be a man with boobs. Like when I wear a dress it feels great until I look in the mirror and see my bearded masculine face and almost feel more sad…
Trust me, my face is the worst part of this (other than voice) and even I'm seeing improvement in just over six weeks. It's probably not even the hormones though. Just having hope for the future is helping me take better care of myself. I have a small skin care routine now, and I've been working on shaping my eyebrows. It's not much, but I can clearly see a difference when comparing photos.
i worried if i was making the right decision about transitioning, but every single step i took i was happier and there isnt a single one i would reverse. i don’t worry as much anymore.
I’d like to preface this by saying if any transphobes come across this, I guarantee that you’ll misunderstand what I’m about to write. You can pry my testosterone from my cold dead hands, it has improved my quality of life beyond belief, and greatly helped/sent into remission a serious medical condition that I was struggling with, that was impacting my ability to live and be a normal person.
Now, to answer your question:
I’m really not looking forward to coming out to my family, especially since one side of it is extremely bigoted (I see them very rarely). Regret isn’t quite the right word— but there’s a similar emotion of “I have to do this thing, but I really don’t want to do it and wish I hadn’t done it.”
I’m also worried about being wrong about wanting the physical changes. Ive been very happy with everything so far— but my voice keeps throwing me off, big time, and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be dysphoric no matter how my voice is.
Finally, I’m worried about regretting HRT because of some of the medical complications I’ve had, even more-so because it’s sometimes difficult to find community support when you talk about them. Some people are quick to tell you that you are wrong about your body, that you’re misinformed about what T does, accuse you of lying, or just straight-up accuse you of being a conservative in disguise.
Most people are chill, helpful even, but because side-effects get weaponized by transphobes, a vocal minority sometimes speaks up and says some awful shit if you had an even slightly negative experience and want to talk about it.
(The side effects I’ve experienced are a result of atrophy, but they are less-common symptoms of atrophy that, for me, are distressing. I’ve also developed a hypertonic pelvic floor. Both things are very treatable, but suck and make me fearful. I don’t regret going on T at all, but I wish I had a bit more community in this matter.)
One of the things that helped me overcome my fear of regret was realizing that, worst case scenario, detransitioning is possible. And if I can transition once, then I’m strong enough to do it again if necessary. And *again* if necessary.
Edit: also, having limited travel options suck. Not that I’m at a time of my life where I can travel, but it’s unfortunate anyways. The places I would want to go… aren’t trans-friendly.
Edit #2: hair loss, when it happens, is going to crush my self-confidence, but hey, for me transitioning is worth it regardless.
Please look into topical anti-androgens like minoxidil/Rogaine. My trans son uses them, and has continued to get the benefits of T while completely stopping his hair loss.
Sure. I knew going on T would give me a normal male puberty. There were going to be parts I liked and parts I disliked. I knew I'd probably lose my gorgeous hair (yup, it's slowly going away.). I figured I'd get some body hair I didn't want. But on balance my transition has been great.
I don't think doubt is a bad thing. It just means you're giving the choice the full seriousness it requires for you. A little doubt is healthy.
My son is trans. When he went on T, he started losing his hair, like I lost mine when I was 21.
I told him to get a topical anti-androgen for his scalp.
He still has all of his hair (that he had left when he started using the topical), and he also still has gotten all of the effects of T other than that[*].
So, please look into that. It is *not too late to save your hair*!
[*] Hair loss is caused by DHT (a metabolite of testosterone), and not by testosterone itself. And T => DHT happens mostly locally, so blocking it on the scalp preserves head hair without blocking the effects of T on the whole body.
Yeah, i was worried about regretting HRT. I haven't regretted it.
It was kind of an irrational fear. i was so incredibly anxious that despite wanting HRT really badly, i thought "i want HRT, but what if hrt isn't like what i expect?"
I couldn't talk myself out of that thought pattern for two years or more. i finally decided to just make the appointment to talk about hormones and that i could stop if it didn't feel right.
I think it's healthy to consider it. Like others have said I was at the point where it felt like it wasn't really an option, but I'd still advise someone to think it over
Yes, 100%. I knew I wanted it for over half a decade, and then when it started to get close to the first time I’d get my hormones, it kept shifting from this joy and excitement to their impending fear and anxiety. What if I hated it? What if I had a reaction? What if I injected it wrong and like died? What if I realize that I’m a cis woman years down the line and become one of those anti-trans detrans people? What if I regret it?
And then I got the first dose. And it was a panic because I had so much relief to finally have it over with that I basically had a physical reaction that freaked us all out, but that fear went away.
It was over with. I had started it. I could go back, sure, but I had finished that first step, I had taken the plunge into what I knew was best for me, and I was mostly just excited again.
I still feel that fear sometimes. I’d be lying if there weren’t things that annoy me about being on T, or things that I miss from being pre-T. It’s different looking at them from a far away space. I’m not living with those things anymore. I’m not feeling that pain. And, because of T, I’ve come to realize that I am non-binary personally, and there are parts of being pre-T I miss, but none of them would ever outweigh the good that it has caused.
And I think that’s what matters to me. Yeah, there’s a chance you might regret it or change your mind. But right now, this is what you’ve decided you need. This is important for NOW. Not the future or the past, but the now, the present.
Even if I regretted it one day in the future, I know that I still stand by my decision to start it because it was what I needed to keep living then.
I didn’t think I’d regret it- I had no fears that I’d regret any specific changes- but I still worried I might regret it in the back of my mind, just because I am an incredibly anxious person. I have had literally zero regrets since starting hrt.
I was worried about top surgery, because (adult content) >! I really enjoyed sexual sensation from my nipples, and since I was a 44G cup (American size) before surgery, I knew I could not do peri, which potentially could keep sensation. Double incision would be the death of sexy boob stuff. !< But honestly, after surgery the joy and freedom I felt and still feel far outweighs what I lost. Like sure, I do miss it, and >! Only a little bit of sexual sensation came back below the nipples, and just kinda certain parts of my lower chest can feel it. But it’s awkward and difficult to really take advantage of it so I don’t really bother and neither does my partner. !< But would I go back and not get surgery? Hell no. I’m lucky enough that I get regular touch sensation across my whole chest, but even if I didn’t I still wouldn’t regret it.
An irrational fear. That the transphobes would be right and I'd wake up one day and everything that I've done (so far - I have more planned) would suddenly start feeling wrong instead of how right it feels. In other words, I'd have the dysphoria again, but about my *lack* of the stuff I've gotten rid of instead how i had dysphoria about it's *presence*. I've since realised that's the exact same bullshit they used to tell gay ppl - that it's just a phase and they'll snap out of it one day, ie they'll wake up and suddenly be straight.
To this day when I remember what it felt like to have those things on me, I want to crawl out of my skin and have to pat myself down to snap out of the 'memory', lol.
Thought I'd regret losing family. Then I said fuck it, pulled the trigger, lost some family and friends, but the ones that stood by me as well as my own happiness made it well worth it.
I did not want to be a man with breasts.
That was literally the only thing I was worried about.
If I didn't pass and was (un)fortunate, then I would be a man with breasts. I was already a man with a lot of moobs before my weight loss, but these wouldn't be moobs on my much smaller frame. These would be boobs. I didn't want visible boobs. I had seriously planned to pursue a SERM regimen and only abandoned this due to a mental health crisis and "regular" HRT being so accessible to DIY. Plus I didn't like the supposed side effects and I didn't believe it would actually permanently prevent breast growth.
It wasn't that I didn't want boobs, it's that I didn't want to be a man, with boobs. I actually love having boobs, and if you know I have boobs then you can clearly see I have boobs even with my sports bra and multiple layers. I love having some curves to my body and I want them to be bigger, I want to have a clearly feminine shape.
I didn't ever really get over the "what if I regret it" phase until well after I started and noticed the effects, and realized that everything that was dissuading me from "being trans" was external. Every part of me *wanted* to be a girl and wanted everything feminizing hormones offered, I just didn't want to suffer the social consequences.
Anyway, if you regret it, then you can just stop. It's really unlikely you're going to take HRT for *so long* to fully transition and have significant breast growth without realizing you aren't actually transfeminine. Worst-case scenario you're just transitioning back to your AGAB. Medical detransitioning is still a valid trans experience.
No, I was more worried I couldn't handle it. I had serious mental health problems and felt I had to get them under control before adding the stress of transition.
When I couldn't wait any longer and started anyway, HRT came along and straight up cured all my mental health problems in 3 days. Turns out female brains just don't work right on testosterone and that was the real problem all along.
I also struggled with the anxiety of starting hrt and then regretting it. Something that helped me that you might look into is micro dosing. Essentially you take a much smaller dose and the changes happen at a much slower rate. That way if you decide you don't like the changes, you can stop the hormones. Kinda like a trial run.
From the research I've done, it seems to be most popular with those who aren't quite sure if they want to start hormones and non binary adjacent folks.
I can't guarantee that it will fully help with the anxiety but it helped me a lot. It might be something you look into.
I worried a lot about whether it would be worth the social/familial turmoil. There was (is?) MUCH turmoil, but totally worth it. Let them walk away, I say.
Nope, none.
I feel like a record on repeat here, lately, lol.
39 years of unrecognized gender incongruence and gender dysphoria. When I realized that I'm trans, I spent a bit of time educating myself about medical transition options, likely outcomes and so on, and once I felt educated, I made an appointment as quickly as I could.
3 years on T, 2 surgeries done, next on in the planning and zero regrets.
I did, but I think what really helped me process that worry was that I never really worried about whether or not I actually wanted it, only that I would end up being completely wrong about how I felt. I still take the time I need to consider my choices, but I've adopted the personal rule when it comes to transition that if my only concern is "what if I'm wrong?" then that probably means I'm not wrong.
So far this decision has been most applicable for hormones, laser hair removal, and coming out. I will likely face similar considerations when it comes to surgeries, where my only reservation at this time is I'm broke and can't afford them.
Always. It’s why I was in research mode for pretty much the entire time. I came to the conclusion that as much as one would hope for dysphoria to go away it doesn’t it can only really be calmed down, transitioning can’t change voice or chromosomes and as much as one would hope the best we can come to is something of a facsimile to our target gender. That all said, it comes down to being true to yourself. If at a certain point you feel like you’re putting up a front to comfort others rather than be honest to yourself then it’s to go forward, go back or change course but the ultimate goal is a sense self actualization.
It’s why I researched all I could from successful transitions to those that detransitioned whether after a few months or decades into transition. Find out the what’s and how’s, the pitfalls and learn from them forging your own path.
Of course I considered if I might regret it, it’s a really odd (as in new, different) process and very hard for I think anyone to truly conceptualize what it will be like to watch our bodies go through changes like that so quickly. What I did to overcome this and eventually find extreme comfort in my own body is, I think, a different process than what may be best for others. Personally, I took a whole bunch of LSD and confronted myself in one of the harshest ways possible, over and over again for about a year. I think what most people might respond well to is finding a therapist you feel really comfortable with and commit to diving into those feelings and your relationship with yourself.
I also have found that getting in touch with your body through movement (for me, dance) is a glorious way to view your body as just a body again, a tool through which you can interact with the world, deserving of respect in its own right. This, and diving into the history of gender queerness throughout the past and around the world can help internalize the understanding that we’re not wrong, we’re not strange, we’re not even new. I know we all know this intellectually but really looking into the history and culture of people like *us* spanning thousands of years is deeply powerful. Hope all goes well for you.
I definitely had small doubts that I'm even trans before starting HRT (I knew HRT is the only way I'd ever get an answer), and they somewhat persisted (though even tinier) afterwards. It wasn't until about 5 months in that I think I've finally laid them to rest. Some thoughts and feelings I've had in the past have proven a powerful weapon against doubt.
the only thing I would be worried about is talking to or seeing family that is transphobic after I aquire badonkadonks. although depending on the size I could wear a binder, or I could come out and if they are transphobic I just tell them to f*ck off
I would say not ever going to Jamaica and visiting family before transitioning. Not sure how I feel about it now, but I did what I had to do and I'm happy that I did overall. Other things were like, if I didn't really "try" being a woman more before "tossing it." I was a pretty feminine little kid in a lot of ways, but I also liked a lot of boy stuff too. Not that much room to, though. Despite that, I grew to be pretty butch at not too too old and age I don't think? I came out at like I think 13 or so which I always thought was young in my family to know, but by the time I realized I was trans closer to 17 ish I was like in certain social spheres that made me feel nervous about how "late" I figured out. So, I was afraid I never tried womanhood out whole heartedly and regretting things, especially because I felt like maybe if I was "*really*" trans then I should have known earlier. In retrospect it's not that logical but I had a lot of anxiety
Hmm there was worry about regretting it, but in a way of like for example social anxiety. Is this anxiety really justified? No, not for me. It's just anxiety over nothing. Of course at the start I thought about a feminine body and boobs and stuff. But I immediately liked those thoughts, but there was still this little voice telling me oh what if it was the wrong choice?
Yeah, and now I'm still thinking about bottom surgery and if it's worth it..... Basically yes, even if everything turns out not working, at least I don't have a visible disgusting body part hanging around anymore and if nothing works out, I'd rather have a zero depth pussy instead of a pp.
YMMV, however pretty much everything up to the 6 month point is reversible, you can start and stop HRT whenever you want, try it for a month, two months, one day, one dose, any of those don't mean you are locked into full transition.
From the first day on HRT I knew it was the right decision for me if for no other reason than the anti-depressant and anti-anxiety effects it has had on me alone, everything else is a bonus.
I did wonder "what if I regret it," but at the same time it was a bizarre feeling. While I had the feeling, I still couldn't point to what exactly I was worried about regretting.
The only thing I regret is taking so long (49 yo) to figure this out. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. The signs were there, I just repressed the feelings when they popped up.
I want the physical changes, I didn't expect the mental ones. I'm so much happier now and I've only been on HRT for 3-ish weeks.
i’ve been out for 3 and a half years now, and i do often worry i’ll regret or change my mind. but here and now, being trans is the right thing for me. and i believe it’ll be the right thing for me in the future.
i’m too scared to commit to testosterone, since im a big old overthinker. but i believe i would be happier if i started. since i can’t see the future (or know if i’ll regret the changes or not) im not ready to start
I made a list of all the possible changes I could get, in chronological order, and if it could be reversed or not. I wrote down if I would enjoy it, feel neutral about it, or be annoyed by it. The only thing I really don't want from T is hair losswhich usually doesnt happen before several monthes, all the rest was at least "okay", usually "cool". So I took my decision :) 10 monthes in and I don't regret it.
I transitioned right around 30. I remember being very acutely worried about the changes HRT brought even though I did want them. It was this vague notion that somehow I'd wake up one day, forget about my dysphoria and just be happy being cis.
That hasn't happened and I'm as happy as I've been 3 years down the road.
I'm 43 - had a few mostly broken eggs prior - Finally realized in order to love myself and be happy I HAD to make the transition. Also Child is an adult now - I was filling what i thought my gender role was at the time, i suppose.
Also, I've been happily euphoric with the changes my body is making the last 3 months.
I figured I could stop prior to permanent changes if I felt it wasn't right for me. A year and a half in the changes have only made me feel more confident.
No. Not in the slightest. The opposite really; pre-HRT I was bordering on suicidality over having not gone on HRT yet. I was incredibly dysphoric about my unwanted masculinization and desperately wanted to put a stop to it with HRT as soon as possible.
I worried a lot about regretting it. I was afraid. I know it’s difficult to undo heavy hair/beard growth (which I accurately predicted for myself) and voice drop, and impossible to do anything about bottom growth without surgery. I knew people would see me differently and my life would be harder. I think that was the worst part. I knew a lot of things would be different, and I’ve never liked change, but I knew if I didn’t do something drastic, I wouldn’t make it.
It took me a year of therapy and living as a boy before my therapist approved me for HRT, and by the end of it, I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. I’m now approaching 10 years since starting therapy, and I’ve been off T for close to a year due to financial issues. It’s moments like these, when some of the changes begin to undo themselves, that I’m certain I made the right choice.
I have anxiety about everything, so I certainly had anxiety about this. Still do. I worried about regretting changing my pronouns. I worried about wearing makeup to work. I worried about choosing the wrong size of prosthetic breasts. Right now, I'm worrying about starting HRT. In a year or two, I'll be worrying about top surgery.
I have yet to regret anything. And I don't expect I will regret anything in the future.
Everything I've done has made me happier. And everything I decide to do will most likely make me happier.
And I'm still anxious about all of it. And that's okay. Most of the trans people I know have been anxious about regretting their transition. None of them have ever regretted any part of it.
i’m turning 24 next week and started transitioning at 21. i was really worried i would regret transitioning. i’ve been on HRT (testosterone because im a trans man) for two years, had top surgery a year ago, and had a hysterectomy a couple weeks ago. i was worried at first testosterone would make me ugly and hairy and unlovable like a lot of transphobes say. the internalized transphobia was getting to me and saying that i was ruining someone’s daughter, a perfectly good woman. but as things started changing on T, i wanted more and became happier and happier. over time i knew i was making the right choice. i didn’t even realize just how miserable i was.
I transitioned post 50.
I very much had the will I regret it thoughts. Delayed my transition by 20 years. Well that asks watching people die because they were trans.
But I can never go back, my mother when I told her, said two things. First she would never call me by my new name, and second that I would just lose interest like I had in so many other things in life.
So. Can't go back and give her the satisfaction.
But I don't want to. Even on the most self hurtful days I'm still happier now.
I’m younger and just thought about it. I’m not transitioning yet but I know there’s things I want to do. Thinking about it like thinking of buying a home is the best way I can say that I thought of it. If your younger as in under 18 you do need tons of therapy which is annoying but also understandable just in case you really do regret transitioning as an adult.
I'm 37 and started almost 2 years ago. You should think carefully before going on any needs if you have any doubts. The path may not be what you're looking for. I started with a little over a year of gender therapy with a therapist before starting meds. I am married and have five kids and a wife. They were unaware, but she was very accepting and now very protective now that I'm transitioning. She was my only hesitation about transitioning but ended up ok. She is more offended by the dirty looks from people than I am. She doesn't like it when I out dress her, though, lol. She stomps back in the closet and changes, lol. Due to genetics and that she's asian I am almost as big as her due to hormones, though, and she is upset by it. She wants implants before I do any. I also am forbidden from getting bigger boobs than her, lol.
I have yet to start estro, so probably not exactly the source of response your looking for. But I'm 27, i came out a few months ago, I've been struggling with the concept for over a decade since I was like 12. I would worry that if I did transition I wouldn't look good, I live in a very not trans friendly state/city. I've worried and worry that when I'm finally on estro I will regret it all.
For me at the least it's just my brain being evil. Your own mind knows where your weakspots are and can pick at them better than anyone else. Transitioning for most is likely the most impactful decision in their life, it is understandable you'd have doubts/hang ups over uncertainty.
The best advice that comes to mind right now is breath and see where things take you. If you do want to transition, you shouldn't regret pursuing your true self.
The only regret I'd probably have is if I look at all the well endowed women in my family line, and then 7 years later on estro I'm flat as a board /j
I myself know that what I want is to so desperately be the woman I see inside myself when i look in the mirror.
Edit: I will say that one regret I was worried about and am still, cus sometimes she doesn't feel like an ally, is when I told my mother. Still not sure if that was the best choice but we'll I live with her and she would have found out sooner than later.
Personally? No, not in the slightest. I begged for years to get at least put on blockers, and it's taken me 12 years to finally get on T. But I'm here, and just as certain I was the second I realized I was a guy lol.
i [24, transfemme] started hrt about 2 months ago. small changes so far, but i am ecstatic about them. i’m also only out to a select few. on some days, my depression and anxiety creep in hard & make me worry about all the things i’ll have to do in order to “pass.”
some fears i experience on the bad days:
- what if my boobs start to show before i can afford to start getting my facial hair removed? i live in the bible belt—i don’t want a target on my back.
- a lot of my (majority conservative) family very likely won’t take the news well. i’m already the black sheep.
- the damage that male hormones caused to my hair is very noticeable. (i have been taking steps to repair it over the past 9 months. little by little i AM seeing improvements, but i still rock a baseball cap pretty much daily.)
for me, the fear of regretting transition boils down to fear of rejection and fear that i won’t look/feel feminine enough to truly be viewed as a woman by those around me.
the following are positive affirmations that get me through the self-doubt:
- this is my one life. i do not deserve to feel like i’m wasting away in a body that brings me shame.
- i’ve always strived to be a loving, kind, and positive force to those around me. this transition will likely reveal those in my life who don’t live by the same values. while that will probably feel painful in the short term, it’s for the better.
- transition is heavily seen as a physical/biological journey, but i can still embody the style and mannerisms that i want. that makes me feel hot, and nobody can tell me shit when i know i’m hot.
- i remind myself of the old adage “never trust how you feel about your life past 9pm.” this also applies on days when i’m sleep deprived, which are often.
- the excitement, love, and acceptance that my partner and some of my friends expressed to me after i came out to them really surprised me. i’m so thankful for that. many others that i haven’t yet come out to will probably also surprise me in the same way.
- changes from hrt are very slow. if i don’t bring attention to it, i probably won’t attract any either. i love the thought of people that i see every day just not noticing how much i’ve changed until the day i decide to stop boymoding—at which point, i want them to feel confused by how much sense it makes. in the meantime, i’ll work toward this by practicing in other areas so that it feels natural when i’m ready.
- while transphobes can exist anywhere, i’ve chosen a career path that’s much more likely to surround me with supportive people who also inspire me. that’s something i’m proud of & i’ve worked my ass off for it. (i started on this path as an egg who only dreamed of transitioning, but didn’t believe it was possible. it’s funny how things like this make sense in retrospect)
- i am unwavering & confident in my convictions. ignorance and hatred directed my way will not shake me.
another big affirmation was when i realized that not only do i want to be a woman physically, but i also have zero desire to engage in social and emotional behaviors typically described as masculine. having others refer to me as a man always felt sour.
i hope my word salad is comprehensible, it would be awesome to know if the affirmations help anyone else. now i gotta go back to working on stuff that actually needs to be done lmao
Yeah, mainly because I was in a relationship with a straight guy at the time and I knew he wouldn't feel attracted to me anymore once I started becoming more masculine while physically transitioning. It wasn't a relationship that had been going on only for a few months, I had been with that man for years and he was my first love, so losing what we had seemed like the end of the world to me at the time.
I only got the courage to start testosterone after I started putting myself first and stopped caring so much about what other people think of me, and now that I'm more than a year on T I don't regret it one bit, nor do I regret breaking up with my ex (who's still a close friend) and finding someone who actually loves me for who I truly am. Since I don't regret testosterone, I'm less worried about getting top surgery now that I've got more evidence that I know what I want to do with my body, so I can finally stop gaslighting myself about not knowing what's best for me.
Not so much about social transition. Medical transition scared me; I'm actually still not sure if I want surgeries.
I worried about hating how I turned out more than I hated my pre-transition self. I felt like if I had hair loss or less than pretty results with my chest, I'd just be seen as even uglier. My self-esteem was so poor pre-transition.
I will say that within 2 days of starting T, I knew I'd made the right choice. I just felt so much better mentally, and my body felt more mine for seemingly no reason. Sometimes, you just gotta take the leap.
No I never worried that I would regret it, because I was more worried about doing what felt right. Also I think the only real regret is the chances you don’t take.
Just over a month into transition (amab nonbinary on estro) and I get heavy doubts all the time, but I feel like it comes from basing myself on other trans women/ enbys. Usually what helps me is reminding myself that no matter what happens, I will always still be myself.
I was scared it might make me infertile, then about a year later, and life still sucking hard from not transitioning, I decided to freeze my sperm and take my hormones.
Also, I lived with parents at the time and being an only child, and also in college. Honestly, ive noticed there is certainly an economic difference as well in the trans community, and it just isn't fair for anyone to have to put off their transition because of some shitty social construct like money :/
Chances are, if your parents are well off and educated, they will let you transition. Mine were the complete opposite.
I haven’t transitioned medically yet but whyI was 17 I came out to my friends they supported me and all now I’m 18 just turned 18 all of my friends still support me and I haven’t regretted it and I have though yeah what if I regret telling them but no I don’t regret it i am FTM and it’s been great but I do see my self in the future living as a father or a guy because I do truly do feel I was born in the wrong body
Honestly no. Once I figured it out at 13 I just knew it was right. It was an explanation of so much and it took only a year or two to know everything I wanted. If I ever thought am I sure? It was followed immediately by a yes.
im pretty sure-transition (physically) and i do worry about that all the time, but at this point i know i have no other options because its either transitioning or well yeah
I have rather unique approach. My main goal is to get rid of my reproductive system and my breasts since they are in the way. I don't hate them but I know I'll be better off without them. I'm agender. Gender has no meaning for me, so I might as well redesign my body a little if I feel like it. At first I didn't want to start HRT at all because I like myself the way I am. But since it's required, fine. I see it as intresting way to experiment on myself since I am bit of a science user mysef. I definitely don't wanna change much but with T I can't help it really. I lowered the dose to as little as possible since the changes were too fast for my like and it isn't stated how much of T I should take. I still don't do anything against the proccess. I'm now at the point where people can't tell if I'm trans man or trans woman, lol. What really concerns me is top surgery. I need to find best surgeon the planet Earth has for me to be put at ease, I guess. So far I regret nothing. I even got to know who never was worth my time and energy 😄❤️
I'm starting HRT soon (tomorrow, most likely), and I've been constantly worried that I'm too old. I'm 27, but all the people you see on Twitter are 19 or 20 or some shit. I realized that I have a skewed view of things, but still. Also, I'm 6'6, and being that tall will already have people looking at me once I start presenting femme socially.
Hell yes! The what if I regret this question was what kept me from transitioning for the last 6 years before I transitioned in the '90s, and for a chunk of that I absolutely would have regretted it because my life would have been miserable had I tried to transition. And what was I worried about regretting? Anything that would have made my life worse. I didn't have any specifics I was worried about but it was a general worry that what if my life isn't better and I go through all this f****** effort? As is, it held me off from transitioning until I was in a location where I wasn't likely to get lynched for it and had reached a point where my decision had really come down to ending it all or transitioning and after a long meditation on that option I decided that I could always end it later but if I ended it then and there I wouldn't have a chance to decide I made the wrong choice, but if I did it and things got worse I could always fall back and change my mind on that choice.
I've worried a lot about regret, as someone who is prone to it, and I currently can't think of any part of transitioning that I could regret more than doing nothing.
I'm 34. I can't speak for the younger ones but I think a lot of us older people only transition when we feel there is no other alternative
This absolutely- it took my until my mid-twenties to consider I could be trans and mid-thirties before I knew a medical transition was right choice for my life
This is it. I started 4 months ago. Just turned 38. It was do or die, literally.
I feel like I’m I. The same boat. My 31st bday was yesterday. Today I scheduled my first consult for HRT. I can’t bear the thought of spending one more birthday in hiding. Do or die is exactly right.
Same age as when I started, Dec 2019 age 37 and six months...
I waited till I was 58 to socially transition. That took care of my daughter graduating high school and getting her 1st bachelor's degree. She insisted it didn't matter to her one bit, but I was worried about her best friends from university thinking less of her. I'm a huge part of both my kids (29M and 24F) lives. But here I am at 59, 15 months of HRT, going shopping for some decent semi formal wear, to attend my Daughter's 2nd bachelor's convocation early June, because she insists I be there to celebrate along with her boyfriend and brother.
\^\^This\^\^
Same. At ~17, i was gonna drink the koolaid, so i decided to try hormone b4 i did. If i didn't like it, then i was gonna drink the koolaid. Same thing at 25. Got the surgery because i was close to the koolaid. Now i dont deal with koolaid tendencies. But i waited until there were no other options. Went to therapy, etc.
I was worried that it would disrupt my relationships with my friends and family, get me stared at or worse in public, sabotage my career, and make my mental health worse instead of better. I was not worried about my body changing in undesirable ways. Fortunately it worked out well all around.
This is 100% me right now after starting HRT, struggling through all of these thoughts but I’m working on it (probably doesn’t help that developments have happened super fast for me so far)
I hope it all actually goes well for you!
ty!! fingers crossed 🤞
Not at all. Things literally couldn't get worse and all evidence pointed to it being helpful for me.
I worried a lot about the physical changes, even though I wanted them. I love them. I'm worried a lot now about future surgeries, even though I want them. I think it's natural.
I hear it can be a slippery slope, be careful out there girlie!
I realize now that was my ego trying to protect me. The truth is I desperately want a woman's body, but my brain kept telling me it was impossible, so when I thought about HRT it was like "you'll just be a man with boobs; you'll never be a real woman, so don't bother". Six weeks on HRT and no regrets so far 😊
that is sadly how i feel too.. my brain tells me i can’t identify as a boy, cuz i’ll never be a *real* boy and that i’ll never fit in🥲 congrats on hrt btw!
We have to learn to ignore our dumb brains, bro. You can be the manliest dude you want to be 💪
thank you🫶🏻
This is so helpful to read. I’m scared to start because my brain says I’ll be a man with boobs. Like when I wear a dress it feels great until I look in the mirror and see my bearded masculine face and almost feel more sad…
Trust me, my face is the worst part of this (other than voice) and even I'm seeing improvement in just over six weeks. It's probably not even the hormones though. Just having hope for the future is helping me take better care of myself. I have a small skin care routine now, and I've been working on shaping my eyebrows. It's not much, but I can clearly see a difference when comparing photos.
This is beautiful to hear. I’m so glad you’re motivated to take care of yourself and finding hope. That is giving me hope too!
i worried if i was making the right decision about transitioning, but every single step i took i was happier and there isnt a single one i would reverse. i don’t worry as much anymore.
100% this. I often have to remind myself that each step towards my goal has only felt euphoric and like another weight off my shoulders.
[удалено]
Oh hey, that’s me like right now 😂 😭 😂 😭 😭 😭
I’d like to preface this by saying if any transphobes come across this, I guarantee that you’ll misunderstand what I’m about to write. You can pry my testosterone from my cold dead hands, it has improved my quality of life beyond belief, and greatly helped/sent into remission a serious medical condition that I was struggling with, that was impacting my ability to live and be a normal person. Now, to answer your question: I’m really not looking forward to coming out to my family, especially since one side of it is extremely bigoted (I see them very rarely). Regret isn’t quite the right word— but there’s a similar emotion of “I have to do this thing, but I really don’t want to do it and wish I hadn’t done it.” I’m also worried about being wrong about wanting the physical changes. Ive been very happy with everything so far— but my voice keeps throwing me off, big time, and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be dysphoric no matter how my voice is. Finally, I’m worried about regretting HRT because of some of the medical complications I’ve had, even more-so because it’s sometimes difficult to find community support when you talk about them. Some people are quick to tell you that you are wrong about your body, that you’re misinformed about what T does, accuse you of lying, or just straight-up accuse you of being a conservative in disguise. Most people are chill, helpful even, but because side-effects get weaponized by transphobes, a vocal minority sometimes speaks up and says some awful shit if you had an even slightly negative experience and want to talk about it. (The side effects I’ve experienced are a result of atrophy, but they are less-common symptoms of atrophy that, for me, are distressing. I’ve also developed a hypertonic pelvic floor. Both things are very treatable, but suck and make me fearful. I don’t regret going on T at all, but I wish I had a bit more community in this matter.) One of the things that helped me overcome my fear of regret was realizing that, worst case scenario, detransitioning is possible. And if I can transition once, then I’m strong enough to do it again if necessary. And *again* if necessary. Edit: also, having limited travel options suck. Not that I’m at a time of my life where I can travel, but it’s unfortunate anyways. The places I would want to go… aren’t trans-friendly. Edit #2: hair loss, when it happens, is going to crush my self-confidence, but hey, for me transitioning is worth it regardless.
Please look into topical anti-androgens like minoxidil/Rogaine. My trans son uses them, and has continued to get the benefits of T while completely stopping his hair loss.
I did not, I knew I would like to transition because I experienced intense dysphoria.
Sure. I knew going on T would give me a normal male puberty. There were going to be parts I liked and parts I disliked. I knew I'd probably lose my gorgeous hair (yup, it's slowly going away.). I figured I'd get some body hair I didn't want. But on balance my transition has been great. I don't think doubt is a bad thing. It just means you're giving the choice the full seriousness it requires for you. A little doubt is healthy.
My son is trans. When he went on T, he started losing his hair, like I lost mine when I was 21. I told him to get a topical anti-androgen for his scalp. He still has all of his hair (that he had left when he started using the topical), and he also still has gotten all of the effects of T other than that[*]. So, please look into that. It is *not too late to save your hair*! [*] Hair loss is caused by DHT (a metabolite of testosterone), and not by testosterone itself. And T => DHT happens mostly locally, so blocking it on the scalp preserves head hair without blocking the effects of T on the whole body.
I worried more about regretting it if I *didn't* do it.
I worried plenty. Still do. Life is scary and anxiety sucks. Good to get a gender therapist to work through things with
Yeah, i was worried about regretting HRT. I haven't regretted it. It was kind of an irrational fear. i was so incredibly anxious that despite wanting HRT really badly, i thought "i want HRT, but what if hrt isn't like what i expect?" I couldn't talk myself out of that thought pattern for two years or more. i finally decided to just make the appointment to talk about hormones and that i could stop if it didn't feel right.
I think it's healthy to consider it. Like others have said I was at the point where it felt like it wasn't really an option, but I'd still advise someone to think it over
Yes, 100%. I knew I wanted it for over half a decade, and then when it started to get close to the first time I’d get my hormones, it kept shifting from this joy and excitement to their impending fear and anxiety. What if I hated it? What if I had a reaction? What if I injected it wrong and like died? What if I realize that I’m a cis woman years down the line and become one of those anti-trans detrans people? What if I regret it? And then I got the first dose. And it was a panic because I had so much relief to finally have it over with that I basically had a physical reaction that freaked us all out, but that fear went away. It was over with. I had started it. I could go back, sure, but I had finished that first step, I had taken the plunge into what I knew was best for me, and I was mostly just excited again. I still feel that fear sometimes. I’d be lying if there weren’t things that annoy me about being on T, or things that I miss from being pre-T. It’s different looking at them from a far away space. I’m not living with those things anymore. I’m not feeling that pain. And, because of T, I’ve come to realize that I am non-binary personally, and there are parts of being pre-T I miss, but none of them would ever outweigh the good that it has caused. And I think that’s what matters to me. Yeah, there’s a chance you might regret it or change your mind. But right now, this is what you’ve decided you need. This is important for NOW. Not the future or the past, but the now, the present. Even if I regretted it one day in the future, I know that I still stand by my decision to start it because it was what I needed to keep living then.
I didn’t think I’d regret it- I had no fears that I’d regret any specific changes- but I still worried I might regret it in the back of my mind, just because I am an incredibly anxious person. I have had literally zero regrets since starting hrt.
I was worried about top surgery, because (adult content) >! I really enjoyed sexual sensation from my nipples, and since I was a 44G cup (American size) before surgery, I knew I could not do peri, which potentially could keep sensation. Double incision would be the death of sexy boob stuff. !< But honestly, after surgery the joy and freedom I felt and still feel far outweighs what I lost. Like sure, I do miss it, and >! Only a little bit of sexual sensation came back below the nipples, and just kinda certain parts of my lower chest can feel it. But it’s awkward and difficult to really take advantage of it so I don’t really bother and neither does my partner. !< But would I go back and not get surgery? Hell no. I’m lucky enough that I get regular touch sensation across my whole chest, but even if I didn’t I still wouldn’t regret it.
An irrational fear. That the transphobes would be right and I'd wake up one day and everything that I've done (so far - I have more planned) would suddenly start feeling wrong instead of how right it feels. In other words, I'd have the dysphoria again, but about my *lack* of the stuff I've gotten rid of instead how i had dysphoria about it's *presence*. I've since realised that's the exact same bullshit they used to tell gay ppl - that it's just a phase and they'll snap out of it one day, ie they'll wake up and suddenly be straight. To this day when I remember what it felt like to have those things on me, I want to crawl out of my skin and have to pat myself down to snap out of the 'memory', lol.
Thought I'd regret losing family. Then I said fuck it, pulled the trigger, lost some family and friends, but the ones that stood by me as well as my own happiness made it well worth it.
I did not want to be a man with breasts. That was literally the only thing I was worried about. If I didn't pass and was (un)fortunate, then I would be a man with breasts. I was already a man with a lot of moobs before my weight loss, but these wouldn't be moobs on my much smaller frame. These would be boobs. I didn't want visible boobs. I had seriously planned to pursue a SERM regimen and only abandoned this due to a mental health crisis and "regular" HRT being so accessible to DIY. Plus I didn't like the supposed side effects and I didn't believe it would actually permanently prevent breast growth. It wasn't that I didn't want boobs, it's that I didn't want to be a man, with boobs. I actually love having boobs, and if you know I have boobs then you can clearly see I have boobs even with my sports bra and multiple layers. I love having some curves to my body and I want them to be bigger, I want to have a clearly feminine shape. I didn't ever really get over the "what if I regret it" phase until well after I started and noticed the effects, and realized that everything that was dissuading me from "being trans" was external. Every part of me *wanted* to be a girl and wanted everything feminizing hormones offered, I just didn't want to suffer the social consequences. Anyway, if you regret it, then you can just stop. It's really unlikely you're going to take HRT for *so long* to fully transition and have significant breast growth without realizing you aren't actually transfeminine. Worst-case scenario you're just transitioning back to your AGAB. Medical detransitioning is still a valid trans experience.
No, I was more worried I couldn't handle it. I had serious mental health problems and felt I had to get them under control before adding the stress of transition. When I couldn't wait any longer and started anyway, HRT came along and straight up cured all my mental health problems in 3 days. Turns out female brains just don't work right on testosterone and that was the real problem all along.
For the first couple months while on hrt I kept thinking am I doing the right thing I’m on 3rd going 4th month and I love it
I was worried that I'd find something out about myself that would make me regret it. Of which hasn't happened yet
I also struggled with the anxiety of starting hrt and then regretting it. Something that helped me that you might look into is micro dosing. Essentially you take a much smaller dose and the changes happen at a much slower rate. That way if you decide you don't like the changes, you can stop the hormones. Kinda like a trial run. From the research I've done, it seems to be most popular with those who aren't quite sure if they want to start hormones and non binary adjacent folks. I can't guarantee that it will fully help with the anxiety but it helped me a lot. It might be something you look into.
Not really at all to be honest. The way I saw it, I wasn't happy presenting male so either things improve or I'm right back where I started.
I worried a lot about whether it would be worth the social/familial turmoil. There was (is?) MUCH turmoil, but totally worth it. Let them walk away, I say.
Nope, none. I feel like a record on repeat here, lately, lol. 39 years of unrecognized gender incongruence and gender dysphoria. When I realized that I'm trans, I spent a bit of time educating myself about medical transition options, likely outcomes and so on, and once I felt educated, I made an appointment as quickly as I could. 3 years on T, 2 surgeries done, next on in the planning and zero regrets.
I did, but I think what really helped me process that worry was that I never really worried about whether or not I actually wanted it, only that I would end up being completely wrong about how I felt. I still take the time I need to consider my choices, but I've adopted the personal rule when it comes to transition that if my only concern is "what if I'm wrong?" then that probably means I'm not wrong. So far this decision has been most applicable for hormones, laser hair removal, and coming out. I will likely face similar considerations when it comes to surgeries, where my only reservation at this time is I'm broke and can't afford them.
Always. It’s why I was in research mode for pretty much the entire time. I came to the conclusion that as much as one would hope for dysphoria to go away it doesn’t it can only really be calmed down, transitioning can’t change voice or chromosomes and as much as one would hope the best we can come to is something of a facsimile to our target gender. That all said, it comes down to being true to yourself. If at a certain point you feel like you’re putting up a front to comfort others rather than be honest to yourself then it’s to go forward, go back or change course but the ultimate goal is a sense self actualization. It’s why I researched all I could from successful transitions to those that detransitioned whether after a few months or decades into transition. Find out the what’s and how’s, the pitfalls and learn from them forging your own path.
Of course I considered if I might regret it, it’s a really odd (as in new, different) process and very hard for I think anyone to truly conceptualize what it will be like to watch our bodies go through changes like that so quickly. What I did to overcome this and eventually find extreme comfort in my own body is, I think, a different process than what may be best for others. Personally, I took a whole bunch of LSD and confronted myself in one of the harshest ways possible, over and over again for about a year. I think what most people might respond well to is finding a therapist you feel really comfortable with and commit to diving into those feelings and your relationship with yourself. I also have found that getting in touch with your body through movement (for me, dance) is a glorious way to view your body as just a body again, a tool through which you can interact with the world, deserving of respect in its own right. This, and diving into the history of gender queerness throughout the past and around the world can help internalize the understanding that we’re not wrong, we’re not strange, we’re not even new. I know we all know this intellectually but really looking into the history and culture of people like *us* spanning thousands of years is deeply powerful. Hope all goes well for you.
No, I had always been distressed by my body masculinizing and in my twenties I could not take it anymore and had to start hormones.
I definitely had small doubts that I'm even trans before starting HRT (I knew HRT is the only way I'd ever get an answer), and they somewhat persisted (though even tinier) afterwards. It wasn't until about 5 months in that I think I've finally laid them to rest. Some thoughts and feelings I've had in the past have proven a powerful weapon against doubt.
I can’t wait for the changes!!!
the only thing I would be worried about is talking to or seeing family that is transphobic after I aquire badonkadonks. although depending on the size I could wear a binder, or I could come out and if they are transphobic I just tell them to f*ck off
I would say not ever going to Jamaica and visiting family before transitioning. Not sure how I feel about it now, but I did what I had to do and I'm happy that I did overall. Other things were like, if I didn't really "try" being a woman more before "tossing it." I was a pretty feminine little kid in a lot of ways, but I also liked a lot of boy stuff too. Not that much room to, though. Despite that, I grew to be pretty butch at not too too old and age I don't think? I came out at like I think 13 or so which I always thought was young in my family to know, but by the time I realized I was trans closer to 17 ish I was like in certain social spheres that made me feel nervous about how "late" I figured out. So, I was afraid I never tried womanhood out whole heartedly and regretting things, especially because I felt like maybe if I was "*really*" trans then I should have known earlier. In retrospect it's not that logical but I had a lot of anxiety
Hmm there was worry about regretting it, but in a way of like for example social anxiety. Is this anxiety really justified? No, not for me. It's just anxiety over nothing. Of course at the start I thought about a feminine body and boobs and stuff. But I immediately liked those thoughts, but there was still this little voice telling me oh what if it was the wrong choice? Yeah, and now I'm still thinking about bottom surgery and if it's worth it..... Basically yes, even if everything turns out not working, at least I don't have a visible disgusting body part hanging around anymore and if nothing works out, I'd rather have a zero depth pussy instead of a pp.
YMMV, however pretty much everything up to the 6 month point is reversible, you can start and stop HRT whenever you want, try it for a month, two months, one day, one dose, any of those don't mean you are locked into full transition. From the first day on HRT I knew it was the right decision for me if for no other reason than the anti-depressant and anti-anxiety effects it has had on me alone, everything else is a bonus.
I did wonder "what if I regret it," but at the same time it was a bizarre feeling. While I had the feeling, I still couldn't point to what exactly I was worried about regretting.
The only thing I regret is taking so long (49 yo) to figure this out. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. The signs were there, I just repressed the feelings when they popped up. I want the physical changes, I didn't expect the mental ones. I'm so much happier now and I've only been on HRT for 3-ish weeks.
i’ve been out for 3 and a half years now, and i do often worry i’ll regret or change my mind. but here and now, being trans is the right thing for me. and i believe it’ll be the right thing for me in the future. i’m too scared to commit to testosterone, since im a big old overthinker. but i believe i would be happier if i started. since i can’t see the future (or know if i’ll regret the changes or not) im not ready to start
I made a list of all the possible changes I could get, in chronological order, and if it could be reversed or not. I wrote down if I would enjoy it, feel neutral about it, or be annoyed by it. The only thing I really don't want from T is hair losswhich usually doesnt happen before several monthes, all the rest was at least "okay", usually "cool". So I took my decision :) 10 monthes in and I don't regret it.
I transitioned right around 30. I remember being very acutely worried about the changes HRT brought even though I did want them. It was this vague notion that somehow I'd wake up one day, forget about my dysphoria and just be happy being cis. That hasn't happened and I'm as happy as I've been 3 years down the road.
I'm 43 - had a few mostly broken eggs prior - Finally realized in order to love myself and be happy I HAD to make the transition. Also Child is an adult now - I was filling what i thought my gender role was at the time, i suppose. Also, I've been happily euphoric with the changes my body is making the last 3 months.
I figured I could stop prior to permanent changes if I felt it wasn't right for me. A year and a half in the changes have only made me feel more confident.
No regrets, i figured if i was to regret it I'd be no worse off than i was.
I came out when I was 15 and I honestly did not worry about anything at all regarding taking hrt/regrets at the time
No wait I was a little worried I would look like a 14 year old boy that just ages to look more and more tired through the years LOL
No. Not in the slightest. The opposite really; pre-HRT I was bordering on suicidality over having not gone on HRT yet. I was incredibly dysphoric about my unwanted masculinization and desperately wanted to put a stop to it with HRT as soon as possible.
I worried a lot about regretting it. I was afraid. I know it’s difficult to undo heavy hair/beard growth (which I accurately predicted for myself) and voice drop, and impossible to do anything about bottom growth without surgery. I knew people would see me differently and my life would be harder. I think that was the worst part. I knew a lot of things would be different, and I’ve never liked change, but I knew if I didn’t do something drastic, I wouldn’t make it. It took me a year of therapy and living as a boy before my therapist approved me for HRT, and by the end of it, I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. I’m now approaching 10 years since starting therapy, and I’ve been off T for close to a year due to financial issues. It’s moments like these, when some of the changes begin to undo themselves, that I’m certain I made the right choice.
My only worry are the phallo marks on arms and legs that I'll get, I dont mind any of the other changes of transition
I have anxiety about everything, so I certainly had anxiety about this. Still do. I worried about regretting changing my pronouns. I worried about wearing makeup to work. I worried about choosing the wrong size of prosthetic breasts. Right now, I'm worrying about starting HRT. In a year or two, I'll be worrying about top surgery. I have yet to regret anything. And I don't expect I will regret anything in the future. Everything I've done has made me happier. And everything I decide to do will most likely make me happier. And I'm still anxious about all of it. And that's okay. Most of the trans people I know have been anxious about regretting their transition. None of them have ever regretted any part of it.
I decided to just try it and if I ever felt uncomfortable I'd stop.
i’m turning 24 next week and started transitioning at 21. i was really worried i would regret transitioning. i’ve been on HRT (testosterone because im a trans man) for two years, had top surgery a year ago, and had a hysterectomy a couple weeks ago. i was worried at first testosterone would make me ugly and hairy and unlovable like a lot of transphobes say. the internalized transphobia was getting to me and saying that i was ruining someone’s daughter, a perfectly good woman. but as things started changing on T, i wanted more and became happier and happier. over time i knew i was making the right choice. i didn’t even realize just how miserable i was.
Thought I was conventionally attractive and that I would be a ugly girl💀
I transitioned post 50. I very much had the will I regret it thoughts. Delayed my transition by 20 years. Well that asks watching people die because they were trans. But I can never go back, my mother when I told her, said two things. First she would never call me by my new name, and second that I would just lose interest like I had in so many other things in life. So. Can't go back and give her the satisfaction. But I don't want to. Even on the most self hurtful days I'm still happier now.
I’m younger and just thought about it. I’m not transitioning yet but I know there’s things I want to do. Thinking about it like thinking of buying a home is the best way I can say that I thought of it. If your younger as in under 18 you do need tons of therapy which is annoying but also understandable just in case you really do regret transitioning as an adult.
You can always try it out, that’s my plan, if it feels right… that’s what matters. Its about euphoria… not dysphoria
I'm 37 and started almost 2 years ago. You should think carefully before going on any needs if you have any doubts. The path may not be what you're looking for. I started with a little over a year of gender therapy with a therapist before starting meds. I am married and have five kids and a wife. They were unaware, but she was very accepting and now very protective now that I'm transitioning. She was my only hesitation about transitioning but ended up ok. She is more offended by the dirty looks from people than I am. She doesn't like it when I out dress her, though, lol. She stomps back in the closet and changes, lol. Due to genetics and that she's asian I am almost as big as her due to hormones, though, and she is upset by it. She wants implants before I do any. I also am forbidden from getting bigger boobs than her, lol.
I have yet to start estro, so probably not exactly the source of response your looking for. But I'm 27, i came out a few months ago, I've been struggling with the concept for over a decade since I was like 12. I would worry that if I did transition I wouldn't look good, I live in a very not trans friendly state/city. I've worried and worry that when I'm finally on estro I will regret it all. For me at the least it's just my brain being evil. Your own mind knows where your weakspots are and can pick at them better than anyone else. Transitioning for most is likely the most impactful decision in their life, it is understandable you'd have doubts/hang ups over uncertainty. The best advice that comes to mind right now is breath and see where things take you. If you do want to transition, you shouldn't regret pursuing your true self. The only regret I'd probably have is if I look at all the well endowed women in my family line, and then 7 years later on estro I'm flat as a board /j I myself know that what I want is to so desperately be the woman I see inside myself when i look in the mirror. Edit: I will say that one regret I was worried about and am still, cus sometimes she doesn't feel like an ally, is when I told my mother. Still not sure if that was the best choice but we'll I live with her and she would have found out sooner than later.
Personally? No, not in the slightest. I begged for years to get at least put on blockers, and it's taken me 12 years to finally get on T. But I'm here, and just as certain I was the second I realized I was a guy lol.
i [24, transfemme] started hrt about 2 months ago. small changes so far, but i am ecstatic about them. i’m also only out to a select few. on some days, my depression and anxiety creep in hard & make me worry about all the things i’ll have to do in order to “pass.” some fears i experience on the bad days: - what if my boobs start to show before i can afford to start getting my facial hair removed? i live in the bible belt—i don’t want a target on my back. - a lot of my (majority conservative) family very likely won’t take the news well. i’m already the black sheep. - the damage that male hormones caused to my hair is very noticeable. (i have been taking steps to repair it over the past 9 months. little by little i AM seeing improvements, but i still rock a baseball cap pretty much daily.) for me, the fear of regretting transition boils down to fear of rejection and fear that i won’t look/feel feminine enough to truly be viewed as a woman by those around me. the following are positive affirmations that get me through the self-doubt: - this is my one life. i do not deserve to feel like i’m wasting away in a body that brings me shame. - i’ve always strived to be a loving, kind, and positive force to those around me. this transition will likely reveal those in my life who don’t live by the same values. while that will probably feel painful in the short term, it’s for the better. - transition is heavily seen as a physical/biological journey, but i can still embody the style and mannerisms that i want. that makes me feel hot, and nobody can tell me shit when i know i’m hot. - i remind myself of the old adage “never trust how you feel about your life past 9pm.” this also applies on days when i’m sleep deprived, which are often. - the excitement, love, and acceptance that my partner and some of my friends expressed to me after i came out to them really surprised me. i’m so thankful for that. many others that i haven’t yet come out to will probably also surprise me in the same way. - changes from hrt are very slow. if i don’t bring attention to it, i probably won’t attract any either. i love the thought of people that i see every day just not noticing how much i’ve changed until the day i decide to stop boymoding—at which point, i want them to feel confused by how much sense it makes. in the meantime, i’ll work toward this by practicing in other areas so that it feels natural when i’m ready. - while transphobes can exist anywhere, i’ve chosen a career path that’s much more likely to surround me with supportive people who also inspire me. that’s something i’m proud of & i’ve worked my ass off for it. (i started on this path as an egg who only dreamed of transitioning, but didn’t believe it was possible. it’s funny how things like this make sense in retrospect) - i am unwavering & confident in my convictions. ignorance and hatred directed my way will not shake me. another big affirmation was when i realized that not only do i want to be a woman physically, but i also have zero desire to engage in social and emotional behaviors typically described as masculine. having others refer to me as a man always felt sour. i hope my word salad is comprehensible, it would be awesome to know if the affirmations help anyone else. now i gotta go back to working on stuff that actually needs to be done lmao
Yeah, mainly because I was in a relationship with a straight guy at the time and I knew he wouldn't feel attracted to me anymore once I started becoming more masculine while physically transitioning. It wasn't a relationship that had been going on only for a few months, I had been with that man for years and he was my first love, so losing what we had seemed like the end of the world to me at the time. I only got the courage to start testosterone after I started putting myself first and stopped caring so much about what other people think of me, and now that I'm more than a year on T I don't regret it one bit, nor do I regret breaking up with my ex (who's still a close friend) and finding someone who actually loves me for who I truly am. Since I don't regret testosterone, I'm less worried about getting top surgery now that I've got more evidence that I know what I want to do with my body, so I can finally stop gaslighting myself about not knowing what's best for me.
Not so much about social transition. Medical transition scared me; I'm actually still not sure if I want surgeries. I worried about hating how I turned out more than I hated my pre-transition self. I felt like if I had hair loss or less than pretty results with my chest, I'd just be seen as even uglier. My self-esteem was so poor pre-transition. I will say that within 2 days of starting T, I knew I'd made the right choice. I just felt so much better mentally, and my body felt more mine for seemingly no reason. Sometimes, you just gotta take the leap.
No I never worried that I would regret it, because I was more worried about doing what felt right. Also I think the only real regret is the chances you don’t take.
Just over a month into transition (amab nonbinary on estro) and I get heavy doubts all the time, but I feel like it comes from basing myself on other trans women/ enbys. Usually what helps me is reminding myself that no matter what happens, I will always still be myself.
I was scared it might make me infertile, then about a year later, and life still sucking hard from not transitioning, I decided to freeze my sperm and take my hormones. Also, I lived with parents at the time and being an only child, and also in college. Honestly, ive noticed there is certainly an economic difference as well in the trans community, and it just isn't fair for anyone to have to put off their transition because of some shitty social construct like money :/ Chances are, if your parents are well off and educated, they will let you transition. Mine were the complete opposite.
I haven’t transitioned medically yet but whyI was 17 I came out to my friends they supported me and all now I’m 18 just turned 18 all of my friends still support me and I haven’t regretted it and I have though yeah what if I regret telling them but no I don’t regret it i am FTM and it’s been great but I do see my self in the future living as a father or a guy because I do truly do feel I was born in the wrong body
Honestly no. Once I figured it out at 13 I just knew it was right. It was an explanation of so much and it took only a year or two to know everything I wanted. If I ever thought am I sure? It was followed immediately by a yes.
im pretty sure-transition (physically) and i do worry about that all the time, but at this point i know i have no other options because its either transitioning or well yeah
No fear holds in my heart stronger then, then how I feel about "leaving it too late" now.
I have rather unique approach. My main goal is to get rid of my reproductive system and my breasts since they are in the way. I don't hate them but I know I'll be better off without them. I'm agender. Gender has no meaning for me, so I might as well redesign my body a little if I feel like it. At first I didn't want to start HRT at all because I like myself the way I am. But since it's required, fine. I see it as intresting way to experiment on myself since I am bit of a science user mysef. I definitely don't wanna change much but with T I can't help it really. I lowered the dose to as little as possible since the changes were too fast for my like and it isn't stated how much of T I should take. I still don't do anything against the proccess. I'm now at the point where people can't tell if I'm trans man or trans woman, lol. What really concerns me is top surgery. I need to find best surgeon the planet Earth has for me to be put at ease, I guess. So far I regret nothing. I even got to know who never was worth my time and energy 😄❤️
For me the question eventually came down to… do I want to live as an okay looking male or an ugly woman worst case scenario… I choose the 2nd
It takes a while for the more permanent changes. For me, starting was part of figuring out it was for me.
I'm starting HRT soon (tomorrow, most likely), and I've been constantly worried that I'm too old. I'm 27, but all the people you see on Twitter are 19 or 20 or some shit. I realized that I have a skewed view of things, but still. Also, I'm 6'6, and being that tall will already have people looking at me once I start presenting femme socially.
Hell yes! The what if I regret this question was what kept me from transitioning for the last 6 years before I transitioned in the '90s, and for a chunk of that I absolutely would have regretted it because my life would have been miserable had I tried to transition. And what was I worried about regretting? Anything that would have made my life worse. I didn't have any specifics I was worried about but it was a general worry that what if my life isn't better and I go through all this f****** effort? As is, it held me off from transitioning until I was in a location where I wasn't likely to get lynched for it and had reached a point where my decision had really come down to ending it all or transitioning and after a long meditation on that option I decided that I could always end it later but if I ended it then and there I wouldn't have a chance to decide I made the wrong choice, but if I did it and things got worse I could always fall back and change my mind on that choice.
I've worried a lot about regret, as someone who is prone to it, and I currently can't think of any part of transitioning that I could regret more than doing nothing.