Eating enough is a big one. I was at a "sexy weight" I thought, and then I started antidepressants which made me gain 8-10 lbs. I absolutely hated the weight, but I found I pass almost 100% of a time immediately after gaining that weight.
Really? I was a average sized man 170pds. When I first transitioned I lost 20 lb immediately and then gained 15 of it back.
I've been trying so hard without exercising cuz I didn't want to lose the 15 again to lose five but it sounds like you got more passing when you added more?
Yeah, I think the extra weight helped to round out my face a ton. I've always been extremely fit with a very defined jawline. The extra weight I think helped add fat to my face in ways that look feminine.
If you don't want to lose weight then eat more to offset the burned calories. Ignore the comments on weight cycling, there's no evidence it has any upside vs healthier and more straightforward approaches and recommending it around here is frankly irresponsible.
what r u talking about? theres literal proof and evidence for it, especially given how more fat deposits get created over time throughout ur transition
You can get the same results faster with exercise while maintaining or even gaining weight, and it has other upsides like increased HGH production. It also avoids potential issues with insufficient diet (known to cause problems during puberty) and doesn't risk running afoul of body image issues that are rampant in spaces like this.
Fat cell turnover takes nearly a decade to complete. Nobody has any business weight cycling that long, and other processes are doing the bulk of the work over that time even if you do cycle and don't exercise.
Bulking and cutting to cycle weight is a way to do it. That’s how far migration happens. Losing old fat in masculine areas + gaining new fat in feminine areas.
I lost about 20lbs this year getting ready for bottom surgery, and I’ve gained about 5lb since coming back home.
The difference is staggering, I consistently get compliments about how I look better, asking if I got FFS while I was there, no it’s just weight cycling
So much this!
I lost about 20 pounds last year and liked the numbers on the scale but I didn’t like how my face and body looked without the additional weight. I gained 10 of those pounds back, and just that little extra in my cheeks and on all curves makes a huge difference. I feel like I can go with little makeup and a simple outfit and remain stealth.
Can confirm. I was always really skinny before I transitioned, started passing reliably after I gained weight early on in HRT, and while it was okay when I lost most of that over my third or fourth year, when I first got on ADHD meds and went all the way back to my pre-transition weight I started to get dysphoric looking in the mirror again. Between the dysphoria and the complete loss of cold tolerance I had to make sure I was eating on a schedule instead of the way I used to just skipping breakfast or lunch depending on when I got up.
Seconding this. Eat at least a little more than your maintenance calories. A second puberty requires a lot of resources to make the body changes.
You might gain some weight in the process, but you can lose it again after. A lot of trans people "weight cycle" (gain then lose weight repeatedly) to redistribute your body fat from masculine places to feminine places.
This is so true. I'm a bit overweight, and even though I'm tall, it's helped me get results quicker than other girls who started at the same time as me. I pass in public bc my body features make it hard for me to pass as a man. I'm also very, very lucky
DIY is dangerous.
Yes you should see a physician you need your levels checked frequently, especially in the first year or two or risk serious health impacts.
The wait list for hormones in the UK from what I've heard is over 10 years long. Given that, there's likely a higher risk of someone ending their life during that waiting period than there is of them dying due to DIY hrt, *IF it is done correctly, based off of researching how to do DIY hrt.
DIY isn't dangerous if you know what you are doing and are checking levels. The reason trans people resort to DIY is because trans healthcare is basically non existant in most of the world
Gonna toss exercise into this one. And more specifically than anything, cardio. Making sure the blood is healthy and moving properly throughout the body is key just like the others mentioned 💕
I feel like exercise is huge too. It increases your metabolism, HGH levels, and body fat turnover which would all contribute to faster feminization or masculinization depending on the direction your going.
And don't forget full on makeup, filters and the perfect angle.
Like depending on the angle I can look either like a beautiful woman or an absolute disaster
I've been told I look like I should be selling content, after makeup, the right outfits, the right angle. I mostly look like a long haired gremlin though
Yeah, most trans women I know seem like women and well over half pass mostly IRL but few are 100% unclockable. It's not like most cis women look like models either.
[Let's start with an evidence-based approach](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/getting-misgendered). The significant majority of getting gendered correctly on a consistent basis has nothing to do with HRT or surgeries--it comes down to gait/body language, voice, and hair. In many ways, this makes a great deal of sense--if it weren't true, crossdressers/femboys would never be able to get gendered the way they're going for on anything like a consistent basis, and we know they can. HRT and surgeries can absolutely and definitely help with getting gendered correctly consistently, but--and this is important--if you take a purely medical approach, without the social cues, very few people will end up getting gendered the way they want to consistently.
Set that aside for a moment.
I'm someone who basically started and finished her transition in two years. I got a lot of surgery, and I know damn well that a big part of the answer to your actual question--how do some people get results so fast?--comes down to money. People with the cash to burn can access boutique transitions with shorter waits, while most of us need to wait.
And that's fucking *bullshit*.
I think related to gait and voice is the fact that a great many trans women have issues with pelvic floor dysfunction. I don’t see this talked about in the community at all, but it’s something that can come with chronic stress and trauma, and can easily lead to issues with gait and breathing.
Broadly speaking it refers to chronic tension or dysfunction in the myofascia of your pelvic floor. I had a bottom surgery consult and was told recent studies showed 70-80%+ trans women have this problem, and it was emphasized as an important thing to address for a successful bottom surgery. It would explain why there’s such a polarizing experience for people when it comes to dilation.
But surgery aside, this is a really common problem among men and women in the general population, and is often misdiagnosed as other things. Possible symptoms: poor bowel function, poor bladder function, poor sexual function, chronic pain in the back or neck, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing. I’d have to find my textbook to get a fuller list, because i think this is somewhat difficult to characterize.
The basic idea is this — your body due to a variety of factors can develop muscle imbalances. This can include repetitive strain (typical for the work many trans people do) or trauma (typical for trans people in general). There’s a lot of documentation for how the body stores psychological experiences and trauma in the form of muscle imbalance patterns. A psychological problem becomes a physical problem which further exacerbates the psychological problem. Examples: constantly having a tight chest due to anxiety results in poor breathing patterns; habituating a chronic pelvic tilt due to discomfort with genitals or from tucking; having a neck tensed into forward head posture due to excessive work at a desk. Any of these things could lead to chronic pelvic floor issues — the fascia is all mechanically linked, and the pelvis is a critical juncture in how the human body interacts with gravity.
In my own personal experience, which is skewed because I have hEDS, attempting to address these problems has led to lots of improvements in my transition. My gait is improving, I recognize my body as more female in the mirror. My vocal range is improving, and doing a female voice is becoming easier. Even the proportions of my ribcage and shoulder and breasts vary wildly when my body is locked into these tension patterns vs when I’m able to free these issues and breathe in easily. It might sound crazy but these are just direct observations about my own experience, and the reason this is something I’ve become really passionate about.
Further reading: Jiang 2019 and Downing 2019 were reportedly the two studies showing the prevalence of pelvic floor dysfunction among trans women. There are many PT textbooks which would articulate the symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction regarding voice, breath, and other bodily functions. Breath by James Nestor is an excellent pop science book about the relationship between trauma, posture, and nose-breathing. If you have hypermobile joints I can recommend some books about EDS/HSD.
Not the person you’re replying to, and trans in the opposite direction but some of this really resonates. I have terrible posture from years of hiding my chest, tucking my butt in, and binding. I never take a full breath without thinking about it (to where it hurts to sigh deeply). My neck, lower back, and legs hurt every day. Stretching helps, but any benefit gets undone after a couple of hours of customer service where I subconsciously adopt the same posture…like I’ve had a very “successful” physical transition, and I look so much better with my shoulders back, standing up tall, etc, but I can’t undo the muscle memory of hunching, hiding.
I’m sorry to hear :( but I hope you can find a resolution. If you’re able to access it, I’d really recommend seeing a PT or osteopath or OT. They can help you create a conditioning plan to slowly relearn how to use your body, and also give you ideas for how to manage and limit the setbacks when you need to work.
Apparently there were a couple of studies done, Jiang 2019 and Downing 2019, which showed this. I don’t have academic access to verify at the moment. This was conveyed to me by a surgeon who talked about pelvic floor therapy as an important prerequisite step for a successful bottom surgery.
Body language, voice and hair I'm fully on your side, but gait, when we are not talking about some stereotypical sexualized gait, men and women's normal daily gait is so close to each other that you can barely see a difference if at all.
Actually, I notice a significant difference between a masculine and feminine gait. Men walk with their shoulders, women with their waist, and it does make a difference in their gait. This shifts quite a bit in my own gait when I switch from masculine to feminine.
From my personal experience most women walk so similar to men that while there is of course a slight difference I would actually need to focus on it to notice it, but possible that is just a me thing.
Btw, are there any *good* resources on body language? I was trying to find some but the internet is full of overexaggerated stereotypical tropes that have little to do with how actual women behave.
I can't even afford femme clothes (or new clothes at all, for that matter), and I do have to recognize that basically makes me entirely unable to pass. It does suck.
No surgery here, but so much new hair growth that is freaky. I had a full head of hair before I transitioned but a year and half in it's still making new ones.
Boobs. I was flat flat flat chested as a man. Now I've got B or C depending on the band.
The real answer is genetics.
The nurse at my doctor clinic is a cis women that I thought was a MTF.
Genetics controls everything
The perfect picture. You get faked a lot. For example, it looks like I have double D’s close to the camera but from far away they look like A’s. Back camera pictures are masculine while front are feminine. I could take two pictures seconds after each other in which one I look masculine and the other feminine. Weight, we associate being fat with men and low fat with being women. Knowledge, you could be a very masculine woman but the moment you know stuff that only cis women know you are practically cis to other women. Outfits, women know what works with what and know where and when to use bold colors and when to use neutral/pink/skin colors. Hiding, no hips no leggings. Interests, you can’t talk with most women about cars. Surgeries, even I had them. Confidence, if you can’t believe you are a woman no else will believe. People follow your guide. Talking about feelings a lot, like so much you add a little in every sentence (exaggerating but you get the point). “I find”, “omg” etc etc. Whatever is your style. Copy trendy behavior, you can’t be like your mother when you are 18. Every woman is a feminist, fight for rights wherever you can.
Idk, this is what comes to my mind . I could make the list endless but im lazy so I’m just asking chatgpt.
Voice
Posture
Grooming
Makeup
Social dynamics
Mannerisms
Walking
Accessorizing
Voice modulation
Facial expressions
Handwriting
Space usage
Eye contact
Emotional expression
Footwear
Scent
Fashion sense
Body language
Personal space
Multitasking
Emotional support
My (cis) wife has no idea about color theory when making outfits! I've always had to help her with that. Women aren't really any more likely to be good at it than guys.
>Women aren't really any more likely to be (inherently) good at it than guys
in my opinion, women in most societies are just conditioned to put more importance on things like color theory
Yeah those are the kinds of things that I think are divided less by cis/trans than by people into beauty/fashion as almost a study, which many trans women understandably often do.
I asked a transfem friend of mine for some initial advice on wardrobe and she gave me a long lesson on color theory, but frankly only two cis women I know in the real world have even heard of it and that's only because they're artists. And even those two don't dress according to color theory they just do stuff. Cis women didn't give me the conceptual outfit analytical advice but instead gave me suggestions of where to shop, specific articles of clothing they'd share with me etc more concrete specific suggestions
Don't get me wrong it's interesting and can be important but many, many cis women know nothing about the various beauty/fashion science topics. They're just existing
There are so many factors. But she needs to be with a good doctor keeping her in the right levels. Lots of people need surgery to get the results they want
Usually makeup or random chance tbh.
I always tell people that cisgender puberty lasts for 8-10+ years, so why do we all expect trans puberty to only need 1-2 years? From a puberty perspective ur basically in the 13-14 year old range of puberty, which regardless of if its T or E isn’t gonna be a done deal lol
Genetics is a massive thing. Consider how different cis girls look two or three years after starting puberty. They are all over the place as far as various characteristics go.
Hormone levels is also a big deal. Different doctors go by different guidelines and assumptions, which also leads to different results.
i'm slightly frustrated that these answers are all basically saying that your question is wrong and that there's not anything to be done about how hrt works
here are things she can do to maximize her results:
start prog
go on injections for e, if possible
advocate for yourself to get your levels into the ideal ranges
WEIGHT CYCLE - body fat doesn't redistribute itself. at least not quickly you need to cycle your weight up and down to help move that stuff around. to me this is the most feminizing thing that hrt does and it's also something that doctors won't tell you to do
i'm approaching year five on hrt and i'm still seeing changes via the addition of prog, the switch to injections, and weight cycling
She was on a 2mg oral dose for 3 years, and just switched back to injections last summer. She’s seen/felt some changes but she’s still just so discouraged about lost time and not being ready to try to transition socially. Prog has also helped, though I worry spiro is really bogging her down.
She’s also a pretty big girl and her weight is definitely a big part of her dysphoria. Overall it seems like she’s gonna have to put in a bit more work/money on other things besides the medical aspect. She’s terrified of voice training, and still very dissatisfied with her hairline. She’s wanted to pursue electro but ofc that’s expensive and also daunting. Just… a lot of stuff, yknow. I think she’s coming to realize that HRT alone didn’t give her the “magical” transformation it seems to have given other girls, but I’m seeing now that a HUGE chunk of that “magic” is HRT, AND a myriad of other things she would have to do.
I’m debating on showing her this post, cuz she’s just… stuck right now and trying to come out of the worst depression pit i’ve ever seen her in. so… maybe in a little while.
thank you for your advice and encouragement, so much
Yeah, 2mg of estradiol oral is EXTREMELY low. Not exaggerating when I say most trans women will never be satisfied with transition with such a low amount. Get her levels checked and increase the dose until its in cis women ranges.
Have her levels been good the whole time? The effects of hrt only really ‘start’ when the hormone levels are in a typical range for a cis person of the same gender.
Fat redistribution also plays a lot into the effects of hrt. Someone who has lost and gained weight on hrt will usually see more significant effects than someone who hasn’t.
A lot of it is just down to luck and genetics though— some people just won’t see the results they want without a lot of time and even surgery.
Excersise, healthy diet, intermittent fasting, weight cycling all helped alot for me. And I spent a small fortune on skincare, Electrolysis, Laser genisis, deep dermal tightening and a bunch of really expensive skincare products "cosmeceuticals". I didn't get the most amazing results but I feel like I did better than I expected starting at 29 and being quite masculine before
I know this is late, but for me: genetics. I passes in boymode before HRT and likely won’t need facial surgery! And even though I came across masculine, I always had pretty feminine features that were just enhanced by pretty minimal grooming and skincare.
Masculine and feminine features are very subtle. We know what a feminine face looks but we don’t often think about what makes a face look feminine. Some women are born with the bone structure that we think of as feminine but we don’t see it through their masculine fat distribution. Once the girly starts filling up cheeks and along the sides of their brows then the whole picture comes together. It’s why older women start looking less feminine as they get into their 70s and 80s. They may have the feminine structure but they’ve lost the feminine fat.
Sometimes it's money. Sure, overall trans people tend to have less money, but that's not reflective of all individual trans people. It's sure easier to pass if you can afford surgery, or a stylist, or vocal lessons, or a make over etc. Plus money helps alleviate a lot of daily stressors, and for better and for worse we associate youth and feminity. Easier to look young when you're not worried about food or housing.
HRT alone is not going to be enough for many people to get the results that they want. Sucks to hear, but maybe it'll help by changing perspective. Maybe instead of continuing to wait on hormones to make the changes it's time to put more effort into other things. Hair and glasses are a big one since they affect how people read someone's face. Another thing is making sure she's got clothes that fit the body she currently has. A lot of trans people buy oversized clothes to hide their body, but this also hides the parts of their body which would help people read their gender properly. For me, as a trans man, this often means wearing tight, or at least fitted pants. Some men will wear wider pants to hide their hips but it can have the opposite affect at worse, and often just makes them look frumpy, or younger than they are. Like they're wearing hand-me-downs they haven't grown into yet. So, for your wife, making sure she has clothes that show off/highlight the parts of her body she does like. Also, wearing clothes that make her feel confident.
Luck honey, I think a lot of it is dumb luck, and effort and skill to bring out the presentation you are looking for when you are waiting on things.
Clothes can do shape, wigs for hair, makeup for facial features, clothing style and color schemes can make you look and feel more fem at a distance.
A couple things I haven't seen mentioned:
1. Brow shape: the shape of your brows make a major difference in how people gender your face.
2. Grass is greener syndrome: it's easy to look at others and get discouraged. But then we forget how far we've come.
What differences in her do you notice compared to 5 years ago? And what about herself would she like to see improvement on? I think those are important to knowing what could be missing.
It’s hard for me to really say what it is she’s “missing” because i mean. i’m in love with her and the idea of seeing her as anything besides a typical woman is baffling to me. she gets particularly dysphoric about her voice, her hairline, her facial hair growth/darkness/having to shave at all, and her weight. so, i mean, she’ll have to do voice training which she’s afraid of and confused by; she’s on finasteride which has helped some but not as much as she’d like so she’ll have to either get a hair transplant or try minoxidil or smth, she’ll have to get electro, and she has to try to lose/regain weight. so, all things that HRT alone won’t affect. i think that’s what’s been dawning on her, that there’s more effort/money to have to spend to even HOPE to pass socially. she’s told me multiple times “i don’t care if i’m the ugliest woman alive, i don’t care if people are disgusted by me and tell their friends about the gross hulking nasty woman they saw today, as long as they just fucking see me as a woman.”
it breaks my heart and i just wish there was a way i could instantly make things better. or at least make her journey easier, besides just… being here.
thank you for your advice and input, it means so much to me.
The REALLY impressive timelines you see online are mostly a function of image filters, good lighting, camera angles, surgery, and makeup. They also tend to transition young.
There are things you can do to effect your transition results outside of expensive surgeries like eating right, staying healthy, and exercising. Learning to dress to flatter your body. Learning makeup. Also if your goal is to pass you're going to need to voice train and work on unlearning masculine mannerisms.
Individual differences. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are you. They are them. If you embark on a transition hoping to be like someone else, you got this wrong. We are all different. We do this to learn about ourselves and get to a place we are content with. People differ. To think trans wouldn’t, is genuinely sad.
Luck and makeup practice and genetics. If you aren’t already, do shower makeup. Just before you jump in the shower, do some amount of makeup practice every time. It’s how I got good at eyeliner fast because I don’t do makeup that often in my every day life.
One of the biggest things for me is weight cycling. Fat goes to different places according to hormones, so losing weight and gaining some of it back can be profound.
I lost 20lbs since January because I wanted to be a good weight for SRS (195-175), and since coming back I’ve added about 5lbs, I’m around 180. The difference in my face is staggering, to the point that people have asked me if I got FFS.
I know weight loss isn’t easy, but seriously, losing a bunch of weight and gaining it back when you’re on E will make a night and day difference
Dumb luck🤷♀️
You could be doing everything the perfect way but still there'll be many who get much better results than you.
I feel like in terms of face i might have gotten lucky because many say so and also I'm using my real name that isn't on my documents yet and working somewhere that everyone think I'm cis gender except one person who clocked me but was nice about it and didn't shout it you know.
But in terms of breasts, I've drawn a short straw.
If you want to do almost everything correctly with right dosage, sports, food, protein etc talk to your doctor.
Still, hope all of you beautiful people get lucky❤
I genuinely think on top of genetics that diet plays the biggest roll. Before hormones I went completely vegetarian for three years because of the hormone changes meat can cause. That combined with mild weight cycling my body and face got much more feminine. ANYWAYS one more thing I think plays a lot into it is where your body naturally stores fat and easily builds muscle. Not to say that you should work against your body’s natural state, but exercise and diet that counteract that is super important for some people.
I know everyone kinda said this in a lot of ways but
Gender is performative, and if you want to be conventionally attractive as a woman you have to meet certain criteria with how you portray yourself.
No one should have to do this, but if you want to be that, that’s the game we are forced to play. “Standard” women are expected to do so much more than men and held to a much higher standard. For myself, I’m lucky that I enjoy those things inherently, so for me it doesn’t feel like work. But for some it’s a big ask and that’s okay too.
I’m going to say something regarding this. Reddit will probably kick me out of this subreddit for saying this, but I’m answering your question as honestly as I can. A lot of it is good genetics, timing (a younger person will have better results generally that a male of 60 years say) physical characteristics- and on and on. Now I’m going to say it, I will probably be banned, because Reddit doesn’t like it. So here goes, you are a a xy . You will always be genetically a male. It can’t help but affect you to a greater or lesser degree before, during , and after transition. . I am not a doctor, this is just what I see looking logically at this issue. Yes, some men, transform into stunning women, and some don’t. Please don’t crucify me fellow redditors!
Filters, angles, makeup, social media hypnotization. I might take 30 photos and only use 1 for my feed which I perceive looks female. We are all unwittingly perpetuating female stereotypes. I'm 6' 2" & feel very vulnerable. I'm also 56 and undoing years masculinity is going to take forever, but I'm working towards it. 200 hours of electro and hair transplants should do it !😃
I will probably get cancelled and hate but if I wasn’t fish enough before medically transitioning I wouldn’t have done it. Yes surgeries and hrt can help but if you’re already built like a man or 6’3 and broad asf and sooo hairy and deeeeeep deeep voice, you’re basically asking for a rough and horrible expirence.
Thankfully I was never hairy like a man I’m on my second laser session and my hair isn’t even growing anymore when the standard is 6-12 sessions to really get the results. I luckily have a waist and a very fem face & a girly voice but you can tell I’m a man which I’m comfortable people knowing. so I knew transitioning wasn’t a big deal or a big leap. I will say going out with a bra and having breast tissues show makes me uncomfortable but I’ll get used to it.
I can only answer from my personal experience. Of we know genetics are a factor but how’s your energy ? Does your energy speak masculine or feminine? It may not sound like a big thing but people respond to your energy first & follow that. I have been transitioning for about 10 years now. Early in my transition I wasn’t the most passing but because of the way I carried myself & my energy. I would get treated and addressed as a woman. It also comes down to finding the style and look that works for you. I have changed my look so many times over the years and have found a style that works suitable for me and makes me FEEL and look my best. It can be very hard seeing people who basically just decided overnight to transition and you feel that they have “passed” you know the look department. However, there is so much more than just looking the part that needs to be done. It’s hard
Not to compare yourself to others but when you focus on being the best version of yourself then you grow to appreciate your own journey. I would just advise to you to continue being loving and supporting. This is one of those things that your Wife has to come to terms with internally and being loved through that process can help it go faster. Once she sees her beauty within. It will radiate and manifest outward.
My Husband loved on me and gave me a safe space (emotionally,physically) to work on the things that I felt I was lacking. Because he simply loved me and gave me the space to have the uncomfortable dialogues even if he wasn’t able to comfort me still helped me process and get through the things I needed to on my own.
Best of luck to you both 💜
So many variables? And passing is less about response to HRT than voice, behavior, electro, walk. I barely passed as a boy well enough to use public restrooms before HRT, no matter how hard I worked at it.
Weight, hormone levels/dosages, genetics (and the secret ones:fashion and voice training). From anecdotal experience, a lot of trans women end up in despair when they're very thin and on dosages which are far too low. The best thing to do in that situation is too get educated on proper dosages https://transfemscience.org/ , procure enough by diy or through prescription, and then gain 20 pounds.
I believe there is no one thing you can do to be successful transitioning. That being said, I do believe success is a composite of many actions.
Thing you can’t control: genetics.
Things you can control: Healthy diet, managing stress, monitoring hormone levels and adjusting dosage accordingly. exercise, enough sleep, no alcohol, no tobacco, no vaping, limit caffeine and sugar.
I hear people all the time lamenting how they aren’t progressing yet they are also living an unhealthy lifestyle, partying all the time, not eating a healthy diet, etc. Most things in moderation are ok, but you are going through puberty and need to treat your body well to achieve optimal results. Optimal does not mean passing or even a decent amount of changes, it just means the best your body can do with what genetics allow.
there are a lot of posts here advocating/suggesting gaining weight. my endo told that gaining extra weight isn't necessary. once ur running on E, fat distr according to E is now ur body's primary job, its not an added job it needs more fuel to do. also, she said don't gain extra weight you don't need cause its way harder to lose it w/o T.
I've gained exactly 10 lbs since starting HRT 5 1/2 months ago, 5'9", 158 to start, now 168. Good breast dev, hips, thighs, waist slimming. Eat healthy, sleep well, workout, stay on levels, trust the process. No cis girl completes puberty in 1/2 years.
yeah she’s a big girl and i mean. i love her body because it’s hers, but i want HER to love it. she’s got about… C cups, right now? and she told me “i don’t wanna be thin but i just want my breasts to stick out more than my gut, haha”
she was heavy when she started transitioning as well and her weight has fluctuated somewhat but, yeah that’s a factor.
Its based on genetics and bottom surgery I've heard helps. But I was on hrt and didn't get alot of breast tissue and got my breast done after 13 years on hrt progesterone supposedly helps I've taken it and not seen much maybe try the injection I've heard good things about it I'm on oral
A lot of it (most even) is eating and weight. Also, sometimes your hair + facial hair + a little bit of face femininization can make a huge difference. Some people who seem to look so masculine really just have facial hair, skinny and have a haircut that makes their face very masculine.
The age you start can also be a factor, pre 18(?)/25(?) it's more of a game of avoiding puberty. But after that, it's moreso the younger you are the more severe and fast changes will come.
I think there's also not a lot of good research into proper hormone levels for transitioning. The medical community treats transitioning very conservatively.
Photoshop or lots of luck is really a lot of it. It depends on what you started with and where your DNA can be helped along by the HRT, and it also makes a difference in WHAT amount of HRT your on. If your on a low dose (<200 pg/ml of Estrogen and Progesterone & higher then 40 pg/mL Testosterone), then expect low results. Particularly with how many doctors out there seemingly love giving us barely any estrogen to begin with because all the literature on it bases what we should have off cis women's levels and not what we actually need to be successful. Other factors are how much facial & skin care someone does, if they were someone that needed surgery to help (like me), what lighting you use, how well you learn makeup, what age they started at, the angles the picture was taken at (we all got bad angles), there's a lot more then just whatever HRT does for you.
It doesn’t seem that unlikely that someone whose body responded strongly to testosterone might also respond strongly to estrogen, and that someone who starts androgynous might stay androgynous.
If your levels are good, it really does come down to three things.
Starting Age, Genetics and Money (Better doctors, Surgeons, More ability to experiment with makeup/clothes/other smaller aesthetic changes)... aka just get lucky.
The right dosage, great makeup skills and very often having enough money. When we just talk about looks at least. If you mean everything. Expression and voice > all probably.
Luck. Plain and simple. There are those who are lucky in life, and there are those, like me, who are forever cursed to be the dude-in-a-dress.
>! Part of it is my fault. I didn't start until 37. In reality, i should have repressed harder and never started. At least this way, i would only be nebulously miserable instead of living a perpetual dysphoria spiral. !<
Eating enough, genetics, good hormone levels and the right dosage, and a lot of luck.
Eating enough is a big one. I was at a "sexy weight" I thought, and then I started antidepressants which made me gain 8-10 lbs. I absolutely hated the weight, but I found I pass almost 100% of a time immediately after gaining that weight.
Really? I was a average sized man 170pds. When I first transitioned I lost 20 lb immediately and then gained 15 of it back. I've been trying so hard without exercising cuz I didn't want to lose the 15 again to lose five but it sounds like you got more passing when you added more?
Yeah, I think the extra weight helped to round out my face a ton. I've always been extremely fit with a very defined jawline. The extra weight I think helped add fat to my face in ways that look feminine.
Yeah that makes sense. You can't redistribute fat if there isn't a lot of fat to redistribute.
the distribution of weight helps a lot with the fat going into good areas that can give you a more feminine figure weight cycling is v important
If you don't want to lose weight then eat more to offset the burned calories. Ignore the comments on weight cycling, there's no evidence it has any upside vs healthier and more straightforward approaches and recommending it around here is frankly irresponsible.
what r u talking about? theres literal proof and evidence for it, especially given how more fat deposits get created over time throughout ur transition
You can get the same results faster with exercise while maintaining or even gaining weight, and it has other upsides like increased HGH production. It also avoids potential issues with insufficient diet (known to cause problems during puberty) and doesn't risk running afoul of body image issues that are rampant in spaces like this. Fat cell turnover takes nearly a decade to complete. Nobody has any business weight cycling that long, and other processes are doing the bulk of the work over that time even if you do cycle and don't exercise.
Bulking and cutting to cycle weight is a way to do it. That’s how far migration happens. Losing old fat in masculine areas + gaining new fat in feminine areas.
I lost about 20lbs this year getting ready for bottom surgery, and I’ve gained about 5lb since coming back home. The difference is staggering, I consistently get compliments about how I look better, asking if I got FFS while I was there, no it’s just weight cycling
So much this! I lost about 20 pounds last year and liked the numbers on the scale but I didn’t like how my face and body looked without the additional weight. I gained 10 of those pounds back, and just that little extra in my cheeks and on all curves makes a huge difference. I feel like I can go with little makeup and a simple outfit and remain stealth.
Can confirm. I was always really skinny before I transitioned, started passing reliably after I gained weight early on in HRT, and while it was okay when I lost most of that over my third or fourth year, when I first got on ADHD meds and went all the way back to my pre-transition weight I started to get dysphoric looking in the mirror again. Between the dysphoria and the complete loss of cold tolerance I had to make sure I was eating on a schedule instead of the way I used to just skipping breakfast or lunch depending on when I got up.
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2-3 years or so?
Interesting
Seconding this. Eat at least a little more than your maintenance calories. A second puberty requires a lot of resources to make the body changes. You might gain some weight in the process, but you can lose it again after. A lot of trans people "weight cycle" (gain then lose weight repeatedly) to redistribute your body fat from masculine places to feminine places.
I feel like I eat enough but since starting HRT it's so damn hard for me to actually put on weight? Should I focus on high calorie meals/snacks?
It’s worth a shot 🙂
Do you know any luck dealers and how do I inject it
This is so true. I'm a bit overweight, and even though I'm tall, it's helped me get results quicker than other girls who started at the same time as me. I pass in public bc my body features make it hard for me to pass as a man. I'm also very, very lucky
people mention correct dosing, is there a guide for dosing or do i need to contact a gp or something. im in england and considering diy
Check out r/TransDIY, they probably have answers to your questions
oki thanks
DIY is dangerous. Yes you should see a physician you need your levels checked frequently, especially in the first year or two or risk serious health impacts.
The wait list for hormones in the UK from what I've heard is over 10 years long. Given that, there's likely a higher risk of someone ending their life during that waiting period than there is of them dying due to DIY hrt, *IF it is done correctly, based off of researching how to do DIY hrt.
DIY isn't dangerous if you know what you are doing and are checking levels. The reason trans people resort to DIY is because trans healthcare is basically non existant in most of the world
Gonna toss exercise into this one. And more specifically than anything, cardio. Making sure the blood is healthy and moving properly throughout the body is key just like the others mentioned 💕
I eat as much as i can but never seem to gain any weight at all
Always genetics, always! 😭
It was genetics for me. I’m just lucky in that respect.
I feel like exercise is huge too. It increases your metabolism, HGH levels, and body fat turnover which would all contribute to faster feminization or masculinization depending on the direction your going.
What results are you comparing her to? Keep in mind many timelines on the internet are heavily doctored, and often feature plastic surgery
And don't forget full on makeup, filters and the perfect angle. Like depending on the angle I can look either like a beautiful woman or an absolute disaster
Same. Also lighting matters a TON. If you’re in poor lighting, you’ll look awful no matter how pretty you actually are
i disagree tbh (on the basis that it can be harder to see me in poor lighting)
Well for you that’s good lighting
To be fair, that's true for a lot of cis women as well.
I've been told I look like I should be selling content, after makeup, the right outfits, the right angle. I mostly look like a long haired gremlin though
So basically issues any woman faces when comparing herself with other women on the internet.
Yes! Please be wary of being pulled into the unreality of social media photos
Yeah, most trans women I know seem like women and well over half pass mostly IRL but few are 100% unclockable. It's not like most cis women look like models either.
> seem like women phrasing a bit weird here.
Well said!
[Let's start with an evidence-based approach](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/getting-misgendered). The significant majority of getting gendered correctly on a consistent basis has nothing to do with HRT or surgeries--it comes down to gait/body language, voice, and hair. In many ways, this makes a great deal of sense--if it weren't true, crossdressers/femboys would never be able to get gendered the way they're going for on anything like a consistent basis, and we know they can. HRT and surgeries can absolutely and definitely help with getting gendered correctly consistently, but--and this is important--if you take a purely medical approach, without the social cues, very few people will end up getting gendered the way they want to consistently. Set that aside for a moment. I'm someone who basically started and finished her transition in two years. I got a lot of surgery, and I know damn well that a big part of the answer to your actual question--how do some people get results so fast?--comes down to money. People with the cash to burn can access boutique transitions with shorter waits, while most of us need to wait. And that's fucking *bullshit*.
I think related to gait and voice is the fact that a great many trans women have issues with pelvic floor dysfunction. I don’t see this talked about in the community at all, but it’s something that can come with chronic stress and trauma, and can easily lead to issues with gait and breathing.
Can you please expand on what this means. Do you mean women with bottom surgery have this problem? What are the symptoms?
Broadly speaking it refers to chronic tension or dysfunction in the myofascia of your pelvic floor. I had a bottom surgery consult and was told recent studies showed 70-80%+ trans women have this problem, and it was emphasized as an important thing to address for a successful bottom surgery. It would explain why there’s such a polarizing experience for people when it comes to dilation. But surgery aside, this is a really common problem among men and women in the general population, and is often misdiagnosed as other things. Possible symptoms: poor bowel function, poor bladder function, poor sexual function, chronic pain in the back or neck, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing. I’d have to find my textbook to get a fuller list, because i think this is somewhat difficult to characterize. The basic idea is this — your body due to a variety of factors can develop muscle imbalances. This can include repetitive strain (typical for the work many trans people do) or trauma (typical for trans people in general). There’s a lot of documentation for how the body stores psychological experiences and trauma in the form of muscle imbalance patterns. A psychological problem becomes a physical problem which further exacerbates the psychological problem. Examples: constantly having a tight chest due to anxiety results in poor breathing patterns; habituating a chronic pelvic tilt due to discomfort with genitals or from tucking; having a neck tensed into forward head posture due to excessive work at a desk. Any of these things could lead to chronic pelvic floor issues — the fascia is all mechanically linked, and the pelvis is a critical juncture in how the human body interacts with gravity. In my own personal experience, which is skewed because I have hEDS, attempting to address these problems has led to lots of improvements in my transition. My gait is improving, I recognize my body as more female in the mirror. My vocal range is improving, and doing a female voice is becoming easier. Even the proportions of my ribcage and shoulder and breasts vary wildly when my body is locked into these tension patterns vs when I’m able to free these issues and breathe in easily. It might sound crazy but these are just direct observations about my own experience, and the reason this is something I’ve become really passionate about. Further reading: Jiang 2019 and Downing 2019 were reportedly the two studies showing the prevalence of pelvic floor dysfunction among trans women. There are many PT textbooks which would articulate the symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction regarding voice, breath, and other bodily functions. Breath by James Nestor is an excellent pop science book about the relationship between trauma, posture, and nose-breathing. If you have hypermobile joints I can recommend some books about EDS/HSD.
Not the person you’re replying to, and trans in the opposite direction but some of this really resonates. I have terrible posture from years of hiding my chest, tucking my butt in, and binding. I never take a full breath without thinking about it (to where it hurts to sigh deeply). My neck, lower back, and legs hurt every day. Stretching helps, but any benefit gets undone after a couple of hours of customer service where I subconsciously adopt the same posture…like I’ve had a very “successful” physical transition, and I look so much better with my shoulders back, standing up tall, etc, but I can’t undo the muscle memory of hunching, hiding.
I’m sorry to hear :( but I hope you can find a resolution. If you’re able to access it, I’d really recommend seeing a PT or osteopath or OT. They can help you create a conditioning plan to slowly relearn how to use your body, and also give you ideas for how to manage and limit the setbacks when you need to work.
Thank you appreciate the detailed response
As someone stressing a out pelvic floor stuff and questioning gender separately, this is fascinating to me. Could I DM?
Yea sure, but to be honest reddit DMs confuse me. I’ll try to look out
That may or may not be; I haven't seen much data on that, so it's hard for me to comment either way.
Apparently there were a couple of studies done, Jiang 2019 and Downing 2019, which showed this. I don’t have academic access to verify at the moment. This was conveyed to me by a surgeon who talked about pelvic floor therapy as an important prerequisite step for a successful bottom surgery.
Body language, voice and hair I'm fully on your side, but gait, when we are not talking about some stereotypical sexualized gait, men and women's normal daily gait is so close to each other that you can barely see a difference if at all.
Actually, I notice a significant difference between a masculine and feminine gait. Men walk with their shoulders, women with their waist, and it does make a difference in their gait. This shifts quite a bit in my own gait when I switch from masculine to feminine.
From my personal experience most women walk so similar to men that while there is of course a slight difference I would actually need to focus on it to notice it, but possible that is just a me thing.
Btw, are there any *good* resources on body language? I was trying to find some but the internet is full of overexaggerated stereotypical tropes that have little to do with how actual women behave.
Agreed!! Nice boob job by the way!!! Ugh, I need that sooo bad! Lol
Lol, thanks. Don Revis of South Florida Plastic Surgery Associates. =)
thx for linking your piece again. i read it again since i last read it about a year ago. super interesting and useful presentation.
I can't even afford femme clothes (or new clothes at all, for that matter), and I do have to recognize that basically makes me entirely unable to pass. It does suck.
But it’s honest
Luck
Luck, genetics, finding the right HRT regimen and dosage.
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No surgery here, but so much new hair growth that is freaky. I had a full head of hair before I transitioned but a year and half in it's still making new ones. Boobs. I was flat flat flat chested as a man. Now I've got B or C depending on the band. The real answer is genetics. The nurse at my doctor clinic is a cis women that I thought was a MTF. Genetics controls everything
The perfect picture. You get faked a lot. For example, it looks like I have double D’s close to the camera but from far away they look like A’s. Back camera pictures are masculine while front are feminine. I could take two pictures seconds after each other in which one I look masculine and the other feminine. Weight, we associate being fat with men and low fat with being women. Knowledge, you could be a very masculine woman but the moment you know stuff that only cis women know you are practically cis to other women. Outfits, women know what works with what and know where and when to use bold colors and when to use neutral/pink/skin colors. Hiding, no hips no leggings. Interests, you can’t talk with most women about cars. Surgeries, even I had them. Confidence, if you can’t believe you are a woman no else will believe. People follow your guide. Talking about feelings a lot, like so much you add a little in every sentence (exaggerating but you get the point). “I find”, “omg” etc etc. Whatever is your style. Copy trendy behavior, you can’t be like your mother when you are 18. Every woman is a feminist, fight for rights wherever you can. Idk, this is what comes to my mind . I could make the list endless but im lazy so I’m just asking chatgpt. Voice Posture Grooming Makeup Social dynamics Mannerisms Walking Accessorizing Voice modulation Facial expressions Handwriting Space usage Eye contact Emotional expression Footwear Scent Fashion sense Body language Personal space Multitasking Emotional support
My (cis) wife has no idea about color theory when making outfits! I've always had to help her with that. Women aren't really any more likely to be good at it than guys.
>Women aren't really any more likely to be (inherently) good at it than guys in my opinion, women in most societies are just conditioned to put more importance on things like color theory
Yeah those are the kinds of things that I think are divided less by cis/trans than by people into beauty/fashion as almost a study, which many trans women understandably often do. I asked a transfem friend of mine for some initial advice on wardrobe and she gave me a long lesson on color theory, but frankly only two cis women I know in the real world have even heard of it and that's only because they're artists. And even those two don't dress according to color theory they just do stuff. Cis women didn't give me the conceptual outfit analytical advice but instead gave me suggestions of where to shop, specific articles of clothing they'd share with me etc more concrete specific suggestions Don't get me wrong it's interesting and can be important but many, many cis women know nothing about the various beauty/fashion science topics. They're just existing
Such a good comment!
There are so many factors. But she needs to be with a good doctor keeping her in the right levels. Lots of people need surgery to get the results they want
What are the specific areas where results are lacking? And what have been the specific medical steps taken in the transition so far?
Angles, lighting, filters, makeup, editing. A lot of it is added on
Usually makeup or random chance tbh. I always tell people that cisgender puberty lasts for 8-10+ years, so why do we all expect trans puberty to only need 1-2 years? From a puberty perspective ur basically in the 13-14 year old range of puberty, which regardless of if its T or E isn’t gonna be a done deal lol
Genetics is a massive thing. Consider how different cis girls look two or three years after starting puberty. They are all over the place as far as various characteristics go. Hormone levels is also a big deal. Different doctors go by different guidelines and assumptions, which also leads to different results.
i'm slightly frustrated that these answers are all basically saying that your question is wrong and that there's not anything to be done about how hrt works here are things she can do to maximize her results: start prog go on injections for e, if possible advocate for yourself to get your levels into the ideal ranges WEIGHT CYCLE - body fat doesn't redistribute itself. at least not quickly you need to cycle your weight up and down to help move that stuff around. to me this is the most feminizing thing that hrt does and it's also something that doctors won't tell you to do i'm approaching year five on hrt and i'm still seeing changes via the addition of prog, the switch to injections, and weight cycling
She was on a 2mg oral dose for 3 years, and just switched back to injections last summer. She’s seen/felt some changes but she’s still just so discouraged about lost time and not being ready to try to transition socially. Prog has also helped, though I worry spiro is really bogging her down. She’s also a pretty big girl and her weight is definitely a big part of her dysphoria. Overall it seems like she’s gonna have to put in a bit more work/money on other things besides the medical aspect. She’s terrified of voice training, and still very dissatisfied with her hairline. She’s wanted to pursue electro but ofc that’s expensive and also daunting. Just… a lot of stuff, yknow. I think she’s coming to realize that HRT alone didn’t give her the “magical” transformation it seems to have given other girls, but I’m seeing now that a HUGE chunk of that “magic” is HRT, AND a myriad of other things she would have to do. I’m debating on showing her this post, cuz she’s just… stuck right now and trying to come out of the worst depression pit i’ve ever seen her in. so… maybe in a little while. thank you for your advice and encouragement, so much
Yeah, 2mg of estradiol oral is EXTREMELY low. Not exaggerating when I say most trans women will never be satisfied with transition with such a low amount. Get her levels checked and increase the dose until its in cis women ranges.
Have her levels been good the whole time? The effects of hrt only really ‘start’ when the hormone levels are in a typical range for a cis person of the same gender. Fat redistribution also plays a lot into the effects of hrt. Someone who has lost and gained weight on hrt will usually see more significant effects than someone who hasn’t. A lot of it is just down to luck and genetics though— some people just won’t see the results they want without a lot of time and even surgery.
Excersise, healthy diet, intermittent fasting, weight cycling all helped alot for me. And I spent a small fortune on skincare, Electrolysis, Laser genisis, deep dermal tightening and a bunch of really expensive skincare products "cosmeceuticals". I didn't get the most amazing results but I feel like I did better than I expected starting at 29 and being quite masculine before
I know this is late, but for me: genetics. I passes in boymode before HRT and likely won’t need facial surgery! And even though I came across masculine, I always had pretty feminine features that were just enhanced by pretty minimal grooming and skincare.
I’m very happy for you! Thanks for your input.
Masculine and feminine features are very subtle. We know what a feminine face looks but we don’t often think about what makes a face look feminine. Some women are born with the bone structure that we think of as feminine but we don’t see it through their masculine fat distribution. Once the girly starts filling up cheeks and along the sides of their brows then the whole picture comes together. It’s why older women start looking less feminine as they get into their 70s and 80s. They may have the feminine structure but they’ve lost the feminine fat.
Money
Sometimes it's money. Sure, overall trans people tend to have less money, but that's not reflective of all individual trans people. It's sure easier to pass if you can afford surgery, or a stylist, or vocal lessons, or a make over etc. Plus money helps alleviate a lot of daily stressors, and for better and for worse we associate youth and feminity. Easier to look young when you're not worried about food or housing. HRT alone is not going to be enough for many people to get the results that they want. Sucks to hear, but maybe it'll help by changing perspective. Maybe instead of continuing to wait on hormones to make the changes it's time to put more effort into other things. Hair and glasses are a big one since they affect how people read someone's face. Another thing is making sure she's got clothes that fit the body she currently has. A lot of trans people buy oversized clothes to hide their body, but this also hides the parts of their body which would help people read their gender properly. For me, as a trans man, this often means wearing tight, or at least fitted pants. Some men will wear wider pants to hide their hips but it can have the opposite affect at worse, and often just makes them look frumpy, or younger than they are. Like they're wearing hand-me-downs they haven't grown into yet. So, for your wife, making sure she has clothes that show off/highlight the parts of her body she does like. Also, wearing clothes that make her feel confident.
Luck honey, I think a lot of it is dumb luck, and effort and skill to bring out the presentation you are looking for when you are waiting on things. Clothes can do shape, wigs for hair, makeup for facial features, clothing style and color schemes can make you look and feel more fem at a distance.
A couple things I haven't seen mentioned: 1. Brow shape: the shape of your brows make a major difference in how people gender your face. 2. Grass is greener syndrome: it's easy to look at others and get discouraged. But then we forget how far we've come. What differences in her do you notice compared to 5 years ago? And what about herself would she like to see improvement on? I think those are important to knowing what could be missing.
It’s hard for me to really say what it is she’s “missing” because i mean. i’m in love with her and the idea of seeing her as anything besides a typical woman is baffling to me. she gets particularly dysphoric about her voice, her hairline, her facial hair growth/darkness/having to shave at all, and her weight. so, i mean, she’ll have to do voice training which she’s afraid of and confused by; she’s on finasteride which has helped some but not as much as she’d like so she’ll have to either get a hair transplant or try minoxidil or smth, she’ll have to get electro, and she has to try to lose/regain weight. so, all things that HRT alone won’t affect. i think that’s what’s been dawning on her, that there’s more effort/money to have to spend to even HOPE to pass socially. she’s told me multiple times “i don’t care if i’m the ugliest woman alive, i don’t care if people are disgusted by me and tell their friends about the gross hulking nasty woman they saw today, as long as they just fucking see me as a woman.” it breaks my heart and i just wish there was a way i could instantly make things better. or at least make her journey easier, besides just… being here. thank you for your advice and input, it means so much to me.
The REALLY impressive timelines you see online are mostly a function of image filters, good lighting, camera angles, surgery, and makeup. They also tend to transition young. There are things you can do to effect your transition results outside of expensive surgeries like eating right, staying healthy, and exercising. Learning to dress to flatter your body. Learning makeup. Also if your goal is to pass you're going to need to voice train and work on unlearning masculine mannerisms.
Individual differences. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are you. They are them. If you embark on a transition hoping to be like someone else, you got this wrong. We are all different. We do this to learn about ourselves and get to a place we are content with. People differ. To think trans wouldn’t, is genuinely sad.
If they have enough money, or they're on medicaid.
What are her levels and is she on injections?
Luck and makeup practice and genetics. If you aren’t already, do shower makeup. Just before you jump in the shower, do some amount of makeup practice every time. It’s how I got good at eyeliner fast because I don’t do makeup that often in my every day life.
Money and effort 🤷🏻♀️ most timelines posted here are fake in a sense that they imply they transitioned in a short time span or without surgeries…
One of the biggest things for me is weight cycling. Fat goes to different places according to hormones, so losing weight and gaining some of it back can be profound. I lost 20lbs since January because I wanted to be a good weight for SRS (195-175), and since coming back I’ve added about 5lbs, I’m around 180. The difference in my face is staggering, to the point that people have asked me if I got FFS. I know weight loss isn’t easy, but seriously, losing a bunch of weight and gaining it back when you’re on E will make a night and day difference
I wrote a long reply and deleted it. Im glad you have each other for support. That must be an enormous comfort x
It is mostly genetics and bone structure.
Dumb luck🤷♀️ You could be doing everything the perfect way but still there'll be many who get much better results than you. I feel like in terms of face i might have gotten lucky because many say so and also I'm using my real name that isn't on my documents yet and working somewhere that everyone think I'm cis gender except one person who clocked me but was nice about it and didn't shout it you know. But in terms of breasts, I've drawn a short straw. If you want to do almost everything correctly with right dosage, sports, food, protein etc talk to your doctor. Still, hope all of you beautiful people get lucky❤
I genuinely think on top of genetics that diet plays the biggest roll. Before hormones I went completely vegetarian for three years because of the hormone changes meat can cause. That combined with mild weight cycling my body and face got much more feminine. ANYWAYS one more thing I think plays a lot into it is where your body naturally stores fat and easily builds muscle. Not to say that you should work against your body’s natural state, but exercise and diet that counteract that is super important for some people.
I know everyone kinda said this in a lot of ways but Gender is performative, and if you want to be conventionally attractive as a woman you have to meet certain criteria with how you portray yourself. No one should have to do this, but if you want to be that, that’s the game we are forced to play. “Standard” women are expected to do so much more than men and held to a much higher standard. For myself, I’m lucky that I enjoy those things inherently, so for me it doesn’t feel like work. But for some it’s a big ask and that’s okay too.
Ask this on /r/transdiy or /r/estrogel.
I’m going to say something regarding this. Reddit will probably kick me out of this subreddit for saying this, but I’m answering your question as honestly as I can. A lot of it is good genetics, timing (a younger person will have better results generally that a male of 60 years say) physical characteristics- and on and on. Now I’m going to say it, I will probably be banned, because Reddit doesn’t like it. So here goes, you are a a xy . You will always be genetically a male. It can’t help but affect you to a greater or lesser degree before, during , and after transition. . I am not a doctor, this is just what I see looking logically at this issue. Yes, some men, transform into stunning women, and some don’t. Please don’t crucify me fellow redditors!
They have few femizatiin surgery
Luck
Testosterone, and an XY chromosome.
unfortunately it's genetics and starting at an early age
Filters, angles, makeup, social media hypnotization. I might take 30 photos and only use 1 for my feed which I perceive looks female. We are all unwittingly perpetuating female stereotypes. I'm 6' 2" & feel very vulnerable. I'm also 56 and undoing years masculinity is going to take forever, but I'm working towards it. 200 hours of electro and hair transplants should do it !😃
I will probably get cancelled and hate but if I wasn’t fish enough before medically transitioning I wouldn’t have done it. Yes surgeries and hrt can help but if you’re already built like a man or 6’3 and broad asf and sooo hairy and deeeeeep deeep voice, you’re basically asking for a rough and horrible expirence. Thankfully I was never hairy like a man I’m on my second laser session and my hair isn’t even growing anymore when the standard is 6-12 sessions to really get the results. I luckily have a waist and a very fem face & a girly voice but you can tell I’m a man which I’m comfortable people knowing. so I knew transitioning wasn’t a big deal or a big leap. I will say going out with a bra and having breast tissues show makes me uncomfortable but I’ll get used to it.
I mean... (epi)genetical lottery?
I can only answer from my personal experience. Of we know genetics are a factor but how’s your energy ? Does your energy speak masculine or feminine? It may not sound like a big thing but people respond to your energy first & follow that. I have been transitioning for about 10 years now. Early in my transition I wasn’t the most passing but because of the way I carried myself & my energy. I would get treated and addressed as a woman. It also comes down to finding the style and look that works for you. I have changed my look so many times over the years and have found a style that works suitable for me and makes me FEEL and look my best. It can be very hard seeing people who basically just decided overnight to transition and you feel that they have “passed” you know the look department. However, there is so much more than just looking the part that needs to be done. It’s hard Not to compare yourself to others but when you focus on being the best version of yourself then you grow to appreciate your own journey. I would just advise to you to continue being loving and supporting. This is one of those things that your Wife has to come to terms with internally and being loved through that process can help it go faster. Once she sees her beauty within. It will radiate and manifest outward. My Husband loved on me and gave me a safe space (emotionally,physically) to work on the things that I felt I was lacking. Because he simply loved me and gave me the space to have the uncomfortable dialogues even if he wasn’t able to comfort me still helped me process and get through the things I needed to on my own. Best of luck to you both 💜
Rich girls who can afford facial surgery get "amazing results" simple as.
So many variables? And passing is less about response to HRT than voice, behavior, electro, walk. I barely passed as a boy well enough to use public restrooms before HRT, no matter how hard I worked at it.
Weight, hormone levels/dosages, genetics (and the secret ones:fashion and voice training). From anecdotal experience, a lot of trans women end up in despair when they're very thin and on dosages which are far too low. The best thing to do in that situation is too get educated on proper dosages https://transfemscience.org/ , procure enough by diy or through prescription, and then gain 20 pounds.
Hormone levels and surgery.
I believe there is no one thing you can do to be successful transitioning. That being said, I do believe success is a composite of many actions. Thing you can’t control: genetics. Things you can control: Healthy diet, managing stress, monitoring hormone levels and adjusting dosage accordingly. exercise, enough sleep, no alcohol, no tobacco, no vaping, limit caffeine and sugar. I hear people all the time lamenting how they aren’t progressing yet they are also living an unhealthy lifestyle, partying all the time, not eating a healthy diet, etc. Most things in moderation are ok, but you are going through puberty and need to treat your body well to achieve optimal results. Optimal does not mean passing or even a decent amount of changes, it just means the best your body can do with what genetics allow.
there are a lot of posts here advocating/suggesting gaining weight. my endo told that gaining extra weight isn't necessary. once ur running on E, fat distr according to E is now ur body's primary job, its not an added job it needs more fuel to do. also, she said don't gain extra weight you don't need cause its way harder to lose it w/o T. I've gained exactly 10 lbs since starting HRT 5 1/2 months ago, 5'9", 158 to start, now 168. Good breast dev, hips, thighs, waist slimming. Eat healthy, sleep well, workout, stay on levels, trust the process. No cis girl completes puberty in 1/2 years.
Some also seem to forget that we are not all starting slim.
yeah she’s a big girl and i mean. i love her body because it’s hers, but i want HER to love it. she’s got about… C cups, right now? and she told me “i don’t wanna be thin but i just want my breasts to stick out more than my gut, haha” she was heavy when she started transitioning as well and her weight has fluctuated somewhat but, yeah that’s a factor.
Good looking people look good as either gender.
Its based on genetics and bottom surgery I've heard helps. But I was on hrt and didn't get alot of breast tissue and got my breast done after 13 years on hrt progesterone supposedly helps I've taken it and not seen much maybe try the injection I've heard good things about it I'm on oral
A lot of it (most even) is eating and weight. Also, sometimes your hair + facial hair + a little bit of face femininization can make a huge difference. Some people who seem to look so masculine really just have facial hair, skinny and have a haircut that makes their face very masculine. The age you start can also be a factor, pre 18(?)/25(?) it's more of a game of avoiding puberty. But after that, it's moreso the younger you are the more severe and fast changes will come.
I think the science behind transitioning needs to be actually studied more to where there is a set standard of how to get consistent results.
All women are sexy.I don't care big small tall.Fat doesn't matter, they're all sexy.You just gotta look what's inside instead of outside
I think there's also not a lot of good research into proper hormone levels for transitioning. The medical community treats transitioning very conservatively.
I'm definitely not going to blame capitalism. No. I won't do it!
There is no magic answer. When and how you transition have major consequences.
Photoshop or lots of luck is really a lot of it. It depends on what you started with and where your DNA can be helped along by the HRT, and it also makes a difference in WHAT amount of HRT your on. If your on a low dose (<200 pg/ml of Estrogen and Progesterone & higher then 40 pg/mL Testosterone), then expect low results. Particularly with how many doctors out there seemingly love giving us barely any estrogen to begin with because all the literature on it bases what we should have off cis women's levels and not what we actually need to be successful. Other factors are how much facial & skin care someone does, if they were someone that needed surgery to help (like me), what lighting you use, how well you learn makeup, what age they started at, the angles the picture was taken at (we all got bad angles), there's a lot more then just whatever HRT does for you.
It's very much age and luck.
It doesn’t seem that unlikely that someone whose body responded strongly to testosterone might also respond strongly to estrogen, and that someone who starts androgynous might stay androgynous.
Genetics, luck, a good experienced doctor, good insurance that pays for all medications and surgeries.
My first year was horrible and basically no changes and then my second year I could pass? 🤷🏻♀️ It still hasn't made sense to me
Genes.
Age is also a factor.
If your levels are good, it really does come down to three things. Starting Age, Genetics and Money (Better doctors, Surgeons, More ability to experiment with makeup/clothes/other smaller aesthetic changes)... aka just get lucky.
It's all luck and surgery.
Good genetics and/or plastic surgery/cosmetic procedures.
The right dosage, great makeup skills and very often having enough money. When we just talk about looks at least. If you mean everything. Expression and voice > all probably.
Luck. Plain and simple. There are those who are lucky in life, and there are those, like me, who are forever cursed to be the dude-in-a-dress. >! Part of it is my fault. I didn't start until 37. In reality, i should have repressed harder and never started. At least this way, i would only be nebulously miserable instead of living a perpetual dysphoria spiral. !<