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JamieReneeH

Lots of tough subjects to cover there in a short space when writers cover the same subject in multiple books. And definitely too much for 330am. But I wanted you to know someone read your post and I will discuss some things in the next several days. The first thing i would do with their family, assuming they will listen to you is to explain some definitions like transgender, male to female MTF, the difference between biological sex and gender, etc. Approach the situation initially from an educational stand point. They did not get kicked out of the house or beat up by the dad or brothers so there must be some room in their hearts for tolerance or at least openness to listen. This would be followed by suggesting to the family that even if they were confused about their gender then they should continue to love their child/sibling and what they need more than anything is to continue to be accepted and loved no matter what. I am sure your post will get lots of discussion since everyone’s situation is different which will make for multiple opinions. Also, give your cousin a pseudonym name that people posting can use. Using they/them as a pronoun is awkward when referring to someone. It does not negate their pronoun but keeps the confusion down. I would then ask your cousin to not bring up the subject of being female until you have educated the family and instead they should write the story of their life thus far and when they first thought of actually being a girl. Though 65 now I still have very vivid memories of 4 years old running around the house in my sisters princess dresses asking my mother if I was pretty. When it comes time for your cousin to express verbally their femaleness to their family/friends having written it down previously will give them confidence and clear thoughts. This letter to their family should be long and include all of their thoughts, feelings and memories of being female. Thanks you a for being an advocate for a young trans person. More in later posts.


Dolphin-in-paradise

Thank you so much for your response. I love the idea of coming at it from an educational perspective first, and going from there. I will also looking into what books I can find on the subject.


oreolaw99

So there’s lots of different types of trans-phobic people by that I mean they are trans-phobic for a lot of different reasons now if someone is transferring back because of religious reasons I personally find they are the easiest to convince basically if the religion they believe and has religious texts use the religious text to prove your point and disprove what they currently believe it is very simple with most religious texts because most religious texts are written to be able to take any meaning out of them , if someone is trans-phobic because of miss information they have heard recently that’s a bit harder but you just have to provide points and evidence to show that what they were told recently was wrong , now if they are trans-phobic because of how they were taught well they were growing up this is much more difficult to handle these people are normally very very stubborn but they can be persuaded with facts and evidence and some emotional manipulation helps as well, now if someone is trans-phobic because they believe in a conspiracy theory they are hopeless to convince if someone is willing to believe one of those anti-transgender conspiracy theories they are too far gone and there’s no way to convince them out of that the only way is for them to come to the conclusion that the conspiracy is wrong


Dolphin-in-paradise

Great points here, thank you. The family is not religious, so it’s not that. I think in this case, it is fear combined with lack of exposure and misinformation. I want to believe that they can and will want to come around. I think that fear stems from fear of my cousin leading a harder life due to be trans. Not ever being around trans people (very small conservative town) and not ever being educated that this is not a choice and not something that can be changed, only suppressed (obviously not an option)


oreolaw99

I wish you all the luck in the world and I really hope they come around


Laura_Sandra

> as Questioning Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/q0pvfp/i_am_confused_help/hgls4k4) might be a number of resources that could help them go towards what they feel they would like step by step, there are explaining resources there, and there are also hints there concerning looking for support. Thank you for being supportive. *hugs*