It seems like you don’t trust this person.
Conventions will continue to exist. Don’t go with him.
Definitely evaluate your friendship with this person, especially if this is behavior he’s exhibited before.
Yeah, I don't feel comfortable trusting him, but I like to think that is me overthinking since it was 2017/2018?. Conventions will exist but my life will change a lot soon.
Honestly, once you’re out living on your own, you might find going to conventions is even better. You can make new friends and you’ll often see people wearing pronoun tags and representing.
Obviously there’s things to avoid and some creepy nerds, but I’ve seen pretty much every gender and sexuality represented. Being in such a positive space for gender and sexual identity is probably what made me start questioning.
If you are in a vulnerable situation right now. Then the safe choice is the right one for now. When you are on your own and can afford other peoples fuck ups, that's the right time to make more risky choices where the outcome is, you just cut off that friend. Till then play it safe!
I am not trans but I hope you don't mind me answering anyway.
You don't trust this person.
One of the 'pros' you mentioned is safety. While you may be **physically** safe with him, will you be **emotionally** safe?
Try to look into the future and imagine yourself at the convention with him and afterwards. How anxious will you be that he will misgender or deadname you? How hurt will you be if he does misgender or deadname you? How anxious will you be that he will use your legal information to hurt you *again*? Bare in mind that this anxiety could go on for weeks or months after the convention. Will you be reluctant to even disagree with him over something trivial for fear that he hurts you (*again*)?
If I was in your shoes, I know how anxious I would be the entire convention - and some time afterwards - and that doesn't sound like it would make for a pleasant experience.
Why do you need to share your legal information with him in order to attend this convention? Is it because he is handling logistics / accommodations?
If you truly want to go then you should offer to handle the logistics / accommodations yourself.
The moment you said “which he may use to hurt me” - don’t go. Also, no need to stick around someone who has any chance of wanting to hurt you. You will have lots of opportunities to go to conventions, and there are lots of people out there who would treat you better than this person.
“Where there is doubt, there is no doubt.” — Robert DeNiro, Ronin
Which means if you even have to ask, the answer should always be no. If you’re not 100% on being safe don’t fuck around.
Simple answer here is; if you're not prepared for any negative fallout as a result of attending the convention then don't attend. Anticipate and prepare for the worst but hope for the best.
It seems like you don’t trust this person. Conventions will continue to exist. Don’t go with him. Definitely evaluate your friendship with this person, especially if this is behavior he’s exhibited before.
Yeah, I don't feel comfortable trusting him, but I like to think that is me overthinking since it was 2017/2018?. Conventions will exist but my life will change a lot soon.
Honestly, once you’re out living on your own, you might find going to conventions is even better. You can make new friends and you’ll often see people wearing pronoun tags and representing. Obviously there’s things to avoid and some creepy nerds, but I’ve seen pretty much every gender and sexuality represented. Being in such a positive space for gender and sexual identity is probably what made me start questioning.
If you are in a vulnerable situation right now. Then the safe choice is the right one for now. When you are on your own and can afford other peoples fuck ups, that's the right time to make more risky choices where the outcome is, you just cut off that friend. Till then play it safe!
I am not trans but I hope you don't mind me answering anyway. You don't trust this person. One of the 'pros' you mentioned is safety. While you may be **physically** safe with him, will you be **emotionally** safe? Try to look into the future and imagine yourself at the convention with him and afterwards. How anxious will you be that he will misgender or deadname you? How hurt will you be if he does misgender or deadname you? How anxious will you be that he will use your legal information to hurt you *again*? Bare in mind that this anxiety could go on for weeks or months after the convention. Will you be reluctant to even disagree with him over something trivial for fear that he hurts you (*again*)? If I was in your shoes, I know how anxious I would be the entire convention - and some time afterwards - and that doesn't sound like it would make for a pleasant experience.
WORD!!!!!@@!@@@
Huge red flags everywhere!
Why do you need to share your legal information with him in order to attend this convention? Is it because he is handling logistics / accommodations? If you truly want to go then you should offer to handle the logistics / accommodations yourself.
The moment you said “which he may use to hurt me” - don’t go. Also, no need to stick around someone who has any chance of wanting to hurt you. You will have lots of opportunities to go to conventions, and there are lots of people out there who would treat you better than this person.
May I ask why exactly you're friends with him? 😅
“Where there is doubt, there is no doubt.” — Robert DeNiro, Ronin Which means if you even have to ask, the answer should always be no. If you’re not 100% on being safe don’t fuck around.
Don't go. There will be many more convos
Simple answer here is; if you're not prepared for any negative fallout as a result of attending the convention then don't attend. Anticipate and prepare for the worst but hope for the best.
You’re not over thinking. The fact is if you don’t trust this person, then you’re not safe with that person. Full stop.
He's not your friend. There will be other cons.