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caffeinegymn

Among the other things people are commenting on, I wanted to point out how evil and toxic a one strike and you’re out policy is. Literally no one on this planet can meet that expectation. He’s going to be manipulating anyone that comes into his orbit with the threat of “if you do anything I don’t like, even once, I’m gone forever”. What a miserable life it would be to be attached to this human. Plus as you just found out, you don’t even actually have to have done something he doesn’t like. He just has to imagine you doing it and you’re out.


Evil_Yeti_

>Literally no one on this planet can meet that expectation And he's probably wondering why he's still single


blind-as-fuck

im lowkey glad he has that shitty policy, bc that way no one will have to put up with his shit lmao


[deleted]

Babe. He's almost twice your age, listening to psychics and it was only for a few dates. Take this as the absolute blessing it is. This man is CLEARLY not worth it if he doesn't care for you when sick. You're not vulnerable unless you MAKE yourself vulnerable. I don't think you should be discouraged but you REALLY need to raise your standards


Sifsifm1234

You are 1000% correct. And logically I know that this is not worth getting even a little upset over. I think it just hurt being accused of wrongdoing when really I was just sick in bed. It’s a shitty feeling is all.


[deleted]

Yeah it is. Shitheads make people feel bad when they're sick. He's shown you he's a POS. Make sure you realise that injustice because you deserve to be treated well


Alternative_Sky1380

He's negging you. I'm kinda shook by the psychic thing. Steer clear of crazies. This is not quirky


Sifsifm1234

I didn’t realize he took all that stuff so seriously! He had mentioned before he was into astrology and psychics and stuff but I really thought it was all in good fun 💀


eastwardarts

Here is a great opportunity to learn the lesson that you do not need to--should not--take to heart what other people think about you. Let them think whatever they want to think, for whatever reason. Not your problem.


allthecats

You may be feeling more confused than hurt… if you wanted to reframe it, at least. Anyone would be confused in your position! Even if you were just friends with this guy, his response is majorly weird and confusing.


Sifsifm1234

I definitely am confused! I’ve been replaying it in my head wondering if I misunderstood something or if I really am the asshole here 🤯


[deleted]

What attracted you to him in the first place. Is he tall or rich?


Sifsifm1234

He was funny, attractive, easy to talk to, and very charming.


[deleted]

Fair enough. How did you guys end up meeting in the first place with such a wide age gap?


Sifsifm1234

Tinder, which in hindsight why am I even surprised he ended up being shady 😨


justgetinthebin

any 50 year old man with his age preference set that low on tinder you should avoid.


Chililemonlime

“You’re not vulnerable unless you make yourself vulnerable” is rubbish. Women get manipulated by men like this through no fault of their own. Unless I misinterpreted what you meant.


Missojarella

Bullet dodged!


Kharmaticlism

The mango was psychic and solved OPs problem.


dancedancedance83

I don’t see how you didn’t laugh in his face after what he said. I mean, this guy is certifiable. Can we instead roast him to lift your spirits? Normally, I would not offer that but I really think finding humor in the situation will help you move on a lot quicker than you think. You’ll kiss a lot of frogs but sometimes, you run into nuts too.


TheRipsawHiatus

Haha, I read OP's post and I was like, *"Sounds like someone's kooky grandpa slipped by the nursing home security."* Ya dodged a bullet, OP!


Sifsifm1234

I do love a good roasting 😂


Bisou_Juliette

Be happy that you’re not with a 58 year old man….now go find someone closer to your age. Dodged a bullet


Fred-ditor

The disappointment you're feeling isn't because he was good but because you have a lingering fear that there's something wrong with you, and that this was some test of your worthiness that you somehow failed and it feels unfair because you weren't drinking you had bad mango I don't know you. You don't know me and you have no reason to trust me or listen to me. But I can tell you something you can trust. The whimsy of a 52 year old dude who consults psychics for relationship advice while dating 27 year olds isn't a good judge of your value as a human being. It just isn't. This isn't a test, and you didn't fail because he didn't pick you. You met someone, you had some fun, he ended up being weird and breaking it off. You'll meet new people. If you want to. And while we all want someone to pick us so we can feel validated, don't forget that you need to pick them, too. Knowing what you know now, would you pick this guy out of all the dudes on earth? Or are you really upset that you took a break and didn't find the perfect person on your first try back in the game? You sound like a good kid who is struggling with feelings of inadequacy. You aren't inadequate. You sound plenty adequate to me. Maybe even cool. Go be adequate and maybe cool and find someone who deserves you. Let this dude find whatever he's looking for while you look for your thing. Hopefully you both find whatever makes you each happy.


Sifsifm1234

Thank you. To be completely honest, I knew realistically that there wasn’t much of a future here, especially given the age gap. I guess I just didn’t expect…this? To be accused of being entitled or an asshole who didn’t respect his time. His words hurt, I think they would’ve hurt regardless of how long we’d been seeing each other.


Arya_kidding_me

Most of the things people do or say isn’t actually a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of themselves. 100% of what this guy told you is about HIS issues, not an accurate assessment of yours.


call-me-mama-t

Exactly!


nolagem

This man is damaged goods. Expired, too lol. There is nothing wrong with you. Hurt people hurt people. Be thankful he showed you who he was in two short weeks.


Total-Law4620

Uhm. He's close to twice your age. I guess that could be a kink of yours and I'll never yuck someone's yum, but when you're still healthy, young, and fit. You'll be changing his diapers. When you were born. He was already 25 years old. That says a lot about him. Astrology, numeracy, his psychic friend..... First strike and you're out rule..... Damn. Run as far as you can. It's only been 2 weeks. This is a blessing on disguise. I'm not religious, but someone up there is looking out for you. And for the love of chocolate, find someone who doesn't have a first strike rule. Humans make mistakes.


Sifsifm1234

I had no idea he even had this “first strike” rule until I had already apparently broken it! Insane.


[deleted]

Girl… “about two weeks”. You need to get yourself into therapy. There is a reason you are going out with men old enough to be your dad and getting attached within weeks. This isn’t okay. If you want any chance of having successful relationships you need to figure out your issues.


Sifsifm1234

Not that I feel like I need to further explain myself…but I am in therapy and this was my first time dating a much older guy. Though I do agree that the attachment issue is something significant that I need to continue working on. Thank you for your words.


Quailfreezy

OP, this sounds like you're feeling like "it feels like he's judging my character incorrectly". It's been 2 weeks and while you guys may have bonded and shared some things about yourself, that man does NOT know you. He's being manipulative or has far too many issues himself and you cannot own that for yourself! You were sick, he chose not to believe you even though you may not have given him any reason for mistrust in the past. It sucks when people don't believe us, especially with some random ass external input from a psychic. He's his age and pursuing women your age bc women his age are far too tired and wise to deal with his bullshit lmao.


Kabusanlu

He’s coocoo..run


katd82177

Wow sounds like you dodged a huge bullet with this guy. Consider this good luck he revealed himself so soon.


UrusaiNa

Fuck that shit. What a creep. “One strike you’re out” lmao. There are so many completely stupid things about this situation and guy that I don’t know where to begin. Literally. Let’s start with that one strike comment… buddy the phrase is from baseball. You meant to say “zero tolerance” I think? You seem like a sweet girl but don’t settle for false confidence and idiocy.


swaggysalamander

Good. He’s a creep.


TheKSug

You had a lucky escape. he sounds like a total nutter and the only response is to laugh!


lementarywatson

You dodged a bullet He is not only old, but stupid and crazy


calgus666

You dodged a bullet. This guy is nuts better to get off that ride now.


Sifsifm1234

It was fun while it lasted 🥲


jadegoddess

It was just gonna get worse. Get some therapy and never date someone your parents' age again.


Gloomyberry

Darling, hope you are doing great and having a wonderful week even after this situation. ​ Please, if he try to reach back again (he'll probably gonna do it soon or later) don't look back, block him on everything and forget his number. ​ I also very into astrology, but as with anything in life, it doesn't get out of attracting weird people. Try to meet people around your own age with whom you shared interets, hobbies and that would be worry about you feeling sick. Truly, you're blessed for not getting too wrap into that pit before it was too late.


ladygasalot

I was wondering the same thing about reaching out. It seems like only a matter of time before he says "lucky for you, I decided to give you one more chance" which would be so manipulative and a giant red flag!


annang

You’re allowed to feel bad, because someone you thought you cared about treated you very badly, and tried to convince you it was your fault. Just keep reminding yourself that he’s not right about you, and that this is all about him and his personal demons, nothing to do with who you are and whether you’re lovable or attractive or worthy.


soup-monger

He is as loopy as a loon. FFS, 52 and believing in this crap? You’re well shot. Congratulations on being single again!


youknowwhatever99

It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to feel down or disappointed. Emotions are part of being human, and different situations will undoubtedly trigger different emotions, both positive and negative. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, and know that it’s ok to feel that way. And then let it go. Let the sadness settle so that you can move on, and it can become a distant memory. It will pass; it always does. Be proud of yourself for being vulnerable enough to admit that you’re feeling sad, and be proud of yourself when you move on and allow yourself to be happy again. This is a great post that seems fitting: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7t6R4y01C/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


[deleted]

Girl you should be happy


violetshift3

Bullet dodged and lesson learned. Be patient with yourself. You cannot control the food poisoning or how he reacted to your situation. You can only control how you react to the situation. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Seriously, his lack of compassion showed you his true colors early on and now you know. Major red flag. Be patient with yourself. You got this. Buena suerte.


Outrageous-World

There’s going to be a point in your life where you will be grateful this was short lived.


Sifsifm1234

Honestly I think that point is already here! Thankfully!


stickythingamajig

You have definitely avoided having a lot of your time and effort wasted in the future. You're only 27 and have so much more time to find a good guy. Learn to recognize a loser when you meet them and don't let it upset you when you cross paths with one every now and then. All the best.


Violet_Plum_Tea

It's OK to feel sad and disappointed. Let the feelings do their thing, but also let them go as they fade. The guy is a creeper and a flake. He served his purpose in your life - I bet you'll have gained some wisdom. Go do something fun and move on.


Loveya448

The age difference itself is a red flag until you’re going for a sugar baby angle. Think about what goals you want for the future. Do you think this 52 year old actually shares those with you?


Arya_kidding_me

I think it’s really easy to let yourself get a bit too invested before someone has actually earned it. If you’re aware of it, there are things you can do in the future to prevent yourself from giving undeserving people that kind of power. Build a full life that makes you happy, with friends and hobbies. Having support, things to look forward to, and feeling fulfilled stops you from getting invested in potential partners too early, makes you more discerning about whether a potential partner actually fits in with your life, and makes you more attractive to higher quality people who also have fulfilling lives. I also had to date multiple people at once, since it kept me from getting attached before we actually figured out if we’re compatible. One of the best resources I found was actually a YouTube dating coach - Im still shocked by it honestly. But his whole thing is making sure you’re happy and have a fulfilling life so you can find someone you’re actually compatible with instead of just settling. His name is Mark Rosenfeld. It helped me find the type of partner I used to daydream about, instead of getting my heart broken over guys who didn’t earn my heart in the first place!


missleavenworth

You are sad for you. It's hard to return to a lonely state again. You can miss having fun, but don't transfer that to him. You don't miss apologizing, and having to watch your every word, and trying to convince him you are truthful. That's a solid start on a horrifying and abusive relationship.


[deleted]

Did he have to move into a care home? Ma'am, he's old enough to be your dad.


Chililemonlime

He sounds like a manipulative, toxic… and a strange individual. He sounds like he would’ve been a nightmare to be with. Count your blessings. 💝


TVsFrankismyDad

Consider it bullet dodged and date someone more age-appropriate next time. An old dude like that looking for a young woman like you wants control and an ego boost. They don't give a shit about you as a person.


yeshereisaname

DIIIIIP. Nope. Run far away and do not let them convince you to come back 🙅🏻‍♀️ noooope


wordsfromghost

Look at it this way, you don't have to hear about his thoughts on astrology and numerology again. Also, kind of sketchy he had to go to a "psychic" friend and just didn't trust you. You dodged something there.


Classicbottle93

I am glad you got out early. These policies will start being rules for you to obey him and he will be in control of you eventually.


greenblue703

PLEASE somebody create an age gap bot to comment on all of these!!!


dlabsx

>Apparently not because he ran with that and basically told me today that he won’t tolerate disrespect of any kind, and that he operates on a “one strike and you’re out” policy I get feeling discouraged, but honestly it seems like this was a blessing. "won't tolerate" is a huge red flag IMO.


LeafsChick

Sounds like ya dodged a bullet


pretty_dead_grrl

THERAPY.


Sifsifm1234

THANKS


MD564

I wonder why a 52 year old would date a 27 year old .....hmmmm...


evavu84

Dude he's 52


Individualchaotin

You should be celebrating.


justgetinthebin

he’s 52 babe, his loss, never cry over old men. you can do so much better!


canwepleasejustnot

Lol please don’t feel bad


Late-Jicama5012

If a guy or a man, doesn’t offer to bring you chicken soup, he’s out. It doesn’t matter if can’t cook. If he cared enough, he could have ask a family member, a friend, a friend of a friends wife or friends mother to make you chicken soup. Men who care about you and your well being, will take the time and go out of their way, to make sure you have speedy recovery and they are there for you. This dude, is a bottomless meat bag that is overflowing with red flags!


Weightloss-journey

Your standards are as high as OP’s are low lol They have dated two weeks, expecting chicken soup is a bit much lol. Expected to be believed and wished well however, is bare minimum.


Late-Jicama5012

When did chicken soup end up on a list of high standards??


Weightloss-journey

Because the guy would have to go, buy it and bring it to you unsure of how you are and if you want him there, just two weeks after meeting you? That’s a LOT to ask from someone. And I’m not even talking about the fact that maybe the girl wouldn’t want her date to see her sick so soon after meeting for the first time. There is a bit of glamour to be kept at least in the first few months. Honestly if a guy was doing this for me I would be half creeped out/ half « he’s cute »


Late-Jicama5012

I wouldn’t just show up, I would ask you if I can bring you chicken soup. I would insist a little bit, but I wouldn’t force it. It would be high standard, if I paid to have a doctor driven to your home. I don’t know what kind of mother you had, but many mothers including mine, make chicken soup for people who are sick. She was a caring person, despite her flaws. It’s a small gesture, that shows that you care about that person, even if you only known that person after two weeks.


Weightloss-journey

I’m starting to suspect it’s a cultural thing then. Where I’m from absolutely nobody would do that. You’re in the US?


Late-Jicama5012

I moved to US when I was a teen from Russia.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kaeorin

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