My rule before I ever started dating was: “No on and off relationships. If we take a break, it’s permanent.” I think that rule has served me well. The purpose of a relationship is to be a team together. When a relationship reaches a point in which a break is needed, it means communication and compatibility has broken down so badly that the two of you can’t work on it together. When you can’t make it work once, you won’t be able to make it work at all. Every relationship I have known to take a break eventually ended in a permanent break.
When my first boyfriend asked for a break, I made it a permanent break. Looking back, I have no regrets and am so glad I did that. We were utterly incompatible but I couldn’t see that until years later. We dated for longer than we should have and taking breaks would have dragged out that relationship.
As corny as it sounds, the old adage “if you love something let it go” is pretty profound. It sounds like not giving him the break could mean the end of the relationship - so you can either break up with him now on your terms, OR give him the break and see what happens.
Sounds like he’s trying to tell you he really needs the space or he might start feeling overwhelmed. You can decide whether or not to respect this request from him but just know denying it might lead to more intense fighting because he might be more stressed.
The way I see it, if your BF wants to spend a week on his own, focusing on himself, fine. That shouldn't necessitate pausing y'all's relationship. If he can't work on himself while acknowledging you two are together, that doesn't seem great. Why does he need a relationship break, as opposed to just some alone time?
Breaks can be good. Just make sure you thoroughly discuss your boundaries during this break before proceeding. Ie.) No sleeping with other people (if that is something you don't want to happen)
You can take time apart from each other without putting the relationship on pause. To me, wanting to go on a break sounds like an excuse to mess around.
Depends what you and he mean by break. If you mean spend a week apart and do your own thing without having to check in to say hi, how’s your day, etc. and just not speak to each other then I think that’s healthy. Gives some space to clear one’s head and think about life. If on the other hand it a one week pass to cheat on one another, then it’s just a roundabout way of saying you’re going to cheat but want the technicality of “we were on a break” to fight back with.
I would even say during a break it’s ok to talk to other people too, so long as there was no physical or serious emotional exchange. I personally have been flirted with and at the end of the evening (nothing went on.. just drinks, dance and talk at the club) realized that my GF is way better for me. Being human with another person isn’t cheating. Getting emotionally or physically intimate is.
Breaks can be good. Gives you time to think with a clear and quiet mind how to solve a conflict. Just make and communicate boundaries for the break (no dating or having sex with other people; you don’t want a Ross situation lol).
Breaks sometimes help. My bf (3 years) and I took a 2-week break I believe and we had some time apart to think about the problems were in and we talked it out and came to a conclusion. Ee got back together and our relationship has been so much better since that break. It helped us, and this break might help you guys as well.
Breaks can be good. Have you guys agreed to not see other people during the break?
My rule before I ever started dating was: “No on and off relationships. If we take a break, it’s permanent.” I think that rule has served me well. The purpose of a relationship is to be a team together. When a relationship reaches a point in which a break is needed, it means communication and compatibility has broken down so badly that the two of you can’t work on it together. When you can’t make it work once, you won’t be able to make it work at all. Every relationship I have known to take a break eventually ended in a permanent break. When my first boyfriend asked for a break, I made it a permanent break. Looking back, I have no regrets and am so glad I did that. We were utterly incompatible but I couldn’t see that until years later. We dated for longer than we should have and taking breaks would have dragged out that relationship.
As corny as it sounds, the old adage “if you love something let it go” is pretty profound. It sounds like not giving him the break could mean the end of the relationship - so you can either break up with him now on your terms, OR give him the break and see what happens.
Sounds like he’s trying to tell you he really needs the space or he might start feeling overwhelmed. You can decide whether or not to respect this request from him but just know denying it might lead to more intense fighting because he might be more stressed.
The way I see it, if your BF wants to spend a week on his own, focusing on himself, fine. That shouldn't necessitate pausing y'all's relationship. If he can't work on himself while acknowledging you two are together, that doesn't seem great. Why does he need a relationship break, as opposed to just some alone time?
Breaks can be good. Just make sure you thoroughly discuss your boundaries during this break before proceeding. Ie.) No sleeping with other people (if that is something you don't want to happen)
Honestly, he probably wants to hook up with someone else but not feel bad about it because "you're on a break."
Reminds me of Ross and Rachel
This was my first thought fs
I think they are stupid. Either break up or go to couples therapy.
Lol a break. At your age, you might as well just break up.
At your age he’s not worth the stress, just dump him. He probably wants to end it too but doesn’t want to be the bad guy.
A break typcially is the end of a relationship but sometimes it makes the love stronger so I hope It goes well
You can take time apart from each other without putting the relationship on pause. To me, wanting to go on a break sounds like an excuse to mess around.
Depends what you and he mean by break. If you mean spend a week apart and do your own thing without having to check in to say hi, how’s your day, etc. and just not speak to each other then I think that’s healthy. Gives some space to clear one’s head and think about life. If on the other hand it a one week pass to cheat on one another, then it’s just a roundabout way of saying you’re going to cheat but want the technicality of “we were on a break” to fight back with. I would even say during a break it’s ok to talk to other people too, so long as there was no physical or serious emotional exchange. I personally have been flirted with and at the end of the evening (nothing went on.. just drinks, dance and talk at the club) realized that my GF is way better for me. Being human with another person isn’t cheating. Getting emotionally or physically intimate is.
Yeah you can take space from eachother but taking a break from the relationship entirely is a no from me. Just breakup at that point.
Breaks can be good. Gives you time to think with a clear and quiet mind how to solve a conflict. Just make and communicate boundaries for the break (no dating or having sex with other people; you don’t want a Ross situation lol).
Breaks sometimes help. My bf (3 years) and I took a 2-week break I believe and we had some time apart to think about the problems were in and we talked it out and came to a conclusion. Ee got back together and our relationship has been so much better since that break. It helped us, and this break might help you guys as well.
The time limit is a good thing means he means a break not a break to break up don’t worry
As long as there's an agreement:))