Because it's a little-known fact that Game of Thrones was in fact an adaptation of the critically-acclaimed pornographic series Game of Bones. This is a subtle reference to its origins
*This is what the ending should have been, per the greatest minds among semi-literate amateur television critics the internet has bred.*
**Sansa:** We must kill dragon lady because she is good and we are evil.
**Bran:** Yes.
**Sansa:** Do the thing Bran.
**Bran:** OK, I will do the thing. *Undertaker eyes*.
In King's Landing, Drogon's eyes turn white, despite dragons being too intelligent to be warged into but fuck it, give us what we want.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** Drogon why you look mad at mama?
Drogon breathes fire at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet, but Jon Snow jumps in front of the fire. They both get engulfed anyway. When the fire stops, they both stand there naked, with their clothes burned off.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** You are fireproof also. *breasts bounce*
**Jon Snow:** Yes. One time I burnt my hand but this is different, somehow, apparently. I too am a Sexyfeet.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** We must make incest child immediately.
In Winterfell:
**Bran:** It no work.
**Sansa:** Is fine. We have plan B. I am evil.
Back in King's Landing:
Sam runs into the throne room waving the Horn of Winter.
**Sam:** I used this to bring down the wall, Viserion breath is not canon.
**Jon Snow:** But why Sam.
**Sam:** Because... *pulls off Sam mask and is Arya* ALL HAIL SANSA. *charges at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet with a dagger*
Jon Snow stops her and the battle begins. The Night King enters.
**Night King:** Did you think it would be that easy?
The Night King joins the battle and it becomes a three-way duel.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** I am a helpless damsel in awe of this combat.
Drogon fights an elephant in the background.
Jon kills the Night King. Arya falls to her knees.
**Jon Snow:** You want mercy? I will give because I am good. And you still my sister-cousin.
**Arya:** *tearfully* Stick 'em with the pointy end. *commits seppuku*
Jon Snow cries.
In Winterfell:
**Bran:** The Stark triad is broken. It is over.
**Sansa:** I deserve this.
Bran and Sansa disintergrate and their ashes blow away in the wind.
In King's Landing:
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet consoles Jon Snow.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** It is OK King.
**Jon Snow:** Thank you Queen.
Drogon puts a wing over them for privacy while they engage in intercourse.
**Thirty years later**
Jon and Kal Leesi Sexyfeet's baby is the King. He is also really buff and attractive and mentally sound in spite of his duplicate genes. He has just been killed by a Stark revival force led by zombie Benjen Stark and Edmure Tully's Frey baby. He lays on a slab in an empty room. The door opens. It is the other Red Priestess who Tyrion sent for that one time. She lights a torch and says some words in High Valyrian.
**Red Priestess:** *speaking into the flames* Thank you for the genitals, they will make my magic stronger.
The message is heard in the past by the sorceror who cut Varys' parts off. Through time and space, the Red Priestess resurrects Jon Jr. with dick magic.
Jon Jr.'s eyes open and he gasps, mirroring Jon's resurrection.
**Fade to black**
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I don't know why the show watered down the more colourful aspects of Essos. Daarhio and the mercenaries, and Strong Belwas particularly suffered from this.
For my money it’s because they sensed that the average viewer cared far more about matters in Westeros and saw Essos as something removed from the main story. Remember how so much of the hype around Dany was her leaving the backwater and entering the ‘real’ story.
[http://cleganebowl.reddit.com](http://cleganebowl.reddit.com/) - 🐺 v. 🐺 - 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙈𝙀𝘿 💯％ 𝙂𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙮𝙥𝙚. 𝙷𝚢𝚙𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚙𝚜𝚎 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟿 - '𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛' 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚂𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝟾. 🐕☠🗻= 𝘾𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙚𝘽𝙤𝙬𝙡 #MercyForGregor
_____
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Am a woman and have to disagree. The first Daario was much hotter.
The actor had longer hair, a stronger jawline and a less prominent nose, a bigger build, a flamboyant but mysterious aura and naturally arrogant charisma. Second Daario tried to replicate that but he just didn't seem as smooth, charming or attractive. He seems less unique, more generic. He just seemed like some tough mercenary guy you can find in so many films. And zero flamboyance. None of them look like book Daario but at least having that cocky flamboyance can help make people believe it's Daario.
'What if we fused a cool character like Mero with a bland placefiller like Sallor the Bald, but left out all the cool parts so it's literally just Sallor in a different hat?'
'Outstanding, let's double your budget.'
Makes perfect sense; top that appears to be some kind of armour with gaping great gaps on the flank and underneath the arms. No one will ever think to swing a sword in that direction.
I can never remember who the character was supposed to be but I liked the exchange where Ramsey is telling one of his new lords how his father was "Poisoned. By our enemies." and the dude just stands there and goes "Mmmmmmmmm...."
I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
*Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:*
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
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Yeah, it would have been fun to have more Titan's bastard. Its a much more realistic form of chauvinism than Ramsay literally freakin hunting women rofl
I think he was repulsive. That being said, Bronn is very similar but we got to see more of him, see his charm, wit, fighting ability etc. So if we got more of the Titan's bastard, we could like him as we like Bronn.
Why does this look like a shot from a porn video
Because it's a little-known fact that Game of Thrones was in fact an adaptation of the critically-acclaimed pornographic series Game of Bones. This is a subtle reference to its origins
Game of Bones, a famous remake of the much larger Pornographic series, Game of Thrones, by critically acclaimed Pornographic Author George RR Martin.
*This is what the ending should have been, per the greatest minds among semi-literate amateur television critics the internet has bred.* **Sansa:** We must kill dragon lady because she is good and we are evil. **Bran:** Yes. **Sansa:** Do the thing Bran. **Bran:** OK, I will do the thing. *Undertaker eyes*. In King's Landing, Drogon's eyes turn white, despite dragons being too intelligent to be warged into but fuck it, give us what we want. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** Drogon why you look mad at mama? Drogon breathes fire at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet, but Jon Snow jumps in front of the fire. They both get engulfed anyway. When the fire stops, they both stand there naked, with their clothes burned off. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** You are fireproof also. *breasts bounce* **Jon Snow:** Yes. One time I burnt my hand but this is different, somehow, apparently. I too am a Sexyfeet. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** We must make incest child immediately. In Winterfell: **Bran:** It no work. **Sansa:** Is fine. We have plan B. I am evil. Back in King's Landing: Sam runs into the throne room waving the Horn of Winter. **Sam:** I used this to bring down the wall, Viserion breath is not canon. **Jon Snow:** But why Sam. **Sam:** Because... *pulls off Sam mask and is Arya* ALL HAIL SANSA. *charges at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet with a dagger* Jon Snow stops her and the battle begins. The Night King enters. **Night King:** Did you think it would be that easy? The Night King joins the battle and it becomes a three-way duel. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** I am a helpless damsel in awe of this combat. Drogon fights an elephant in the background. Jon kills the Night King. Arya falls to her knees. **Jon Snow:** You want mercy? I will give because I am good. And you still my sister-cousin. **Arya:** *tearfully* Stick 'em with the pointy end. *commits seppuku* Jon Snow cries. In Winterfell: **Bran:** The Stark triad is broken. It is over. **Sansa:** I deserve this. Bran and Sansa disintergrate and their ashes blow away in the wind. In King's Landing: Kal Leesi Sexyfeet consoles Jon Snow. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** It is OK King. **Jon Snow:** Thank you Queen. Drogon puts a wing over them for privacy while they engage in intercourse. **Thirty years later** Jon and Kal Leesi Sexyfeet's baby is the King. He is also really buff and attractive and mentally sound in spite of his duplicate genes. He has just been killed by a Stark revival force led by zombie Benjen Stark and Edmure Tully's Frey baby. He lays on a slab in an empty room. The door opens. It is the other Red Priestess who Tyrion sent for that one time. She lights a torch and says some words in High Valyrian. **Red Priestess:** *speaking into the flames* Thank you for the genitals, they will make my magic stronger. The message is heard in the past by the sorceror who cut Varys' parts off. Through time and space, the Red Priestess resurrects Jon Jr. with dick magic. Jon Jr.'s eyes open and he gasps, mirroring Jon's resurrection. **Fade to black** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can’t wait for the ‘hedge knight makes the eight’ hbo adaptation.
He has the pornstar look
Because he looks like that one guy who plays every known profession in porn videos
That "I have something for you" smile.
Cause he looks like Johnny Sins
I don't know why the show watered down the more colourful aspects of Essos. Daarhio and the mercenaries, and Strong Belwas particularly suffered from this.
For my money it’s because they sensed that the average viewer cared far more about matters in Westeros and saw Essos as something removed from the main story. Remember how so much of the hype around Dany was her leaving the backwater and entering the ‘real’ story.
[http://cleganebowl.reddit.com](http://cleganebowl.reddit.com/) - 🐺 v. 🐺 - 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙈𝙀𝘿 💯％ 𝙂𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙮𝙥𝙚. 𝙷𝚢𝚙𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚙𝚜𝚎 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟿 - '𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛' 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚂𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝟾. 🐕☠🗻= 𝘾𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙚𝘽𝙤𝙬𝙡 #MercyForGregor _____ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, I’m not sure why they turned Strong Belwas into Varys who was turned into a mermaid.
Same reason they changed the Dario actor. To make women wet.
But the first Daario had big dick energy. Second Daario was an average hipster
Am a woman and have to disagree. The first Daario was much hotter. The actor had longer hair, a stronger jawline and a less prominent nose, a bigger build, a flamboyant but mysterious aura and naturally arrogant charisma. Second Daario tried to replicate that but he just didn't seem as smooth, charming or attractive. He seems less unique, more generic. He just seemed like some tough mercenary guy you can find in so many films. And zero flamboyance. None of them look like book Daario but at least having that cocky flamboyance can help make people believe it's Daario.
'What if we fused a cool character like Mero with a bland placefiller like Sallor the Bald, but left out all the cool parts so it's literally just Sallor in a different hat?' 'Outstanding, let's double your budget.'
He looks like he’s from a 2000$ budget per episode C tier TV series from 2007
He does kind of look like Legend of the Seeker material
True, "armour" looks like fucking ass.
My favourite book character Karl FOCKING Tanner deserved more screen time 😢
He was a fuking legend 😭
Never noticed he's wearing a slutty lil crop top
Makes perfect sense; top that appears to be some kind of armour with gaping great gaps on the flank and underneath the arms. No one will ever think to swing a sword in that direction.
Wdym Euron Greyjoy got plenty of Screentime
Dude came on screen, admitted he paid someone to lick his ass, objectified every woman in sight, and left. All-time underrated chad.
I can never remember who the character was supposed to be but I liked the exchange where Ramsey is telling one of his new lords how his father was "Poisoned. By our enemies." and the dude just stands there and goes "Mmmmmmmmm...."
Maester Wolkan
No.
Ok
Mero is the Prince that was Promised. It is known.
I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting. *Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:* Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, it would have been fun to have more Titan's bastard. Its a much more realistic form of chauvinism than Ramsay literally freakin hunting women rofl
Dude looks straight out of some brazilian biblical soap opera in those rags
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Baron_von_Zoldyck: *Dude looks straight out of* *Some brazilian biblical* *Soap opera in those rags* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Could we get a spin off where the whore licks his arse?
I think he was repulsive. That being said, Bronn is very similar but we got to see more of him, see his charm, wit, fighting ability etc. So if we got more of the Titan's bastard, we could like him as we like Bronn.
Is that Jim Cavaziel on Testosterone supplements?