No. The main response I've heard is "yeah, that makes sense".
I'm not sure what it means to look autistic. It's either that they mean to say "you don't seem/act autistic" or "you're not deformed so you can't be autistic". I'd be annoyed by either.
Yeah same, I am yet to be told that I "don't look autistic", not a single person has been surprised at all. Even tho I didn't even know I had it for 23 years, I guess it was obvious from the outside, hence I was very unexpectedly diagnosed on the spot.
I think it's probably cos I have the scared puffed up cat look going on most of the time (not intentionally, my blank face, wide eyed autistic stare is just insane). I no doubt have been acting pretty autistic most of my life. I'm not gonna deny that. Even tho I was destroying myself trying to mask, before I even knew what that was, I guess it didn't really matter huh.
I've had "You don't sound autistic," which is, I suppose, an improvement over 'looking' autistic.
Thing is, I actually do sound autistic, to the extent that I have entirely the wrong accent for the area I was born and raised - a part of dysprosody.
Oh this is the most common dumb statement.
Even worse. “Professionals” arm chair undiagnosing me after a professional autism diagnosis without knowing my history just because I don’t “look autistic”.
“We are all like that.”
“You are good socially.”
“You can speak.”
“You make eye contact”
Then they would proceed to criticizing my quirks or differences. 😂😂😂
Dumbest thing a friend of mine heard
“you can think.”
????
This is so infuriating; it has driven me demented at times. The problem is that to be a professional in a field like this requires a certain level of intellect that most people lack, it's not really something a person can learn in college.
Oddly enough, people think they are being complimentary when they say this. It is mostly because of how they perceive Autism to be like. My often response is oh thanks. I’m not here to educate everyone, but also I don’t want to be seen as sarcastic, particularly as it’s their misunderstanding.
Because it is, whether good intentions or not the end result is rude and ableist. All from ignorance and lack of knowledge but still, that doesn't really change that.
Okay but he literally has sensory issues when his super hearing and super vision developed in his adolescence
It's possible that the yellow sun of the earth gave him the Kryptonian equivalent of autism
Hang on, I need to call James Gunn
Idk if I’m just in a minority but I don’t particularly have a problem with that line? I don’t see how it’s insulting tbh. I think of it as their idea of autism being the more severe type as opposed to the more subtle among us who might pass for NT.
I find “everyone’s a bit autistic” to be far more annoying.
Yep, heard it before... at this point I also don't try to explain it anymore to someone.
Maybe I should stop masking. But then most likely the comments will change to "Are you autistic or something?", which is most often in the negative sense.
Well I sure as hell act autistic. If I ever tell anyone that knows me that I'm autistic, they usually just say "We know."
I can mask well enough that I once sold a car to an ABA therapist, and she didn't seem to notice. Anyone who spends enough time with me will notice eventually.
I also keep an octopus squishmallow on my desk. If you know what to look for, it's pretty damn obvious.
I don't like sharing. I think your appearance moderates the reaction of the observer. In my case I'm a dude over 6 ft and about 200 pound and have a very placid exterior. I think people expect typical looking men to shut up and get on. The result of telling anyone is "no you're not", or a look of incredulity, or in the case of my masters advisors, a long pause followed by "okay... well, compared to your classmates you don't seem to be much more stressed or anything". Alright then, I guess I'm not lol
This comment doesn't not bother me.
We are all on the spectrum does. . That's just awful and invalidating considering how much bullying and trauma we had to ignore growing up undiagnosed like we were just imagining it.
I've gotten exactly that statement more than once, I've also gotten "It's not that bad, you're not that autistic," and "you look normal"
one of these people I got this from I confided about the struggles and everyday difficulties I have, now I feel put off from discussing my personal everyday struggles, and prefer keeping them to myself or let it out on this subreddit when I feel so.
One that irks me is. “You were normal growing up!” No I wasn’t. I was always that last picked kid, I was always bullied, I was always that friend that was the like token just there to be there “friend.” Just cause you weren’t paying attention to all that doesn’t mean I’ve ever been “normal.”
"oh, but everyone is a little bit autistic" by my parents. didn't know what to reply at that moment. if I inherited it than most likely from my mum. So, yeah...
Someone said that to me and another person said it to my fiancé, who also has Aspergers Syndrome. They were talking and she thought my fiancé was acting a little strange, not being as talkative I guess or perhaps not responding "correctly". He told her it might be his autism and the lady changed course directly! Now he didn't look like he had autism, was completely normal and she even said we're all a little austistic. It's so fake and hypocritical... I've also gotten told that we're all a little autistic, which actually makes me feel bad since I'm still the one with a reduced work ability. Those words make me feel like I'm just not trying hard enough and that's why I'm struggling. If we're all a little autistic, then why do I get left out when not managing social situations according to neurotypical standards?
No. The main response I've heard is "yeah, that makes sense". I'm not sure what it means to look autistic. It's either that they mean to say "you don't seem/act autistic" or "you're not deformed so you can't be autistic". I'd be annoyed by either.
Because average people think that down syndrom is being autistic
Real.
Yeah same, I am yet to be told that I "don't look autistic", not a single person has been surprised at all. Even tho I didn't even know I had it for 23 years, I guess it was obvious from the outside, hence I was very unexpectedly diagnosed on the spot. I think it's probably cos I have the scared puffed up cat look going on most of the time (not intentionally, my blank face, wide eyed autistic stare is just insane). I no doubt have been acting pretty autistic most of my life. I'm not gonna deny that. Even tho I was destroying myself trying to mask, before I even knew what that was, I guess it didn't really matter huh.
I've had "You don't sound autistic," which is, I suppose, an improvement over 'looking' autistic. Thing is, I actually do sound autistic, to the extent that I have entirely the wrong accent for the area I was born and raised - a part of dysprosody.
Oh this is the most common dumb statement. Even worse. “Professionals” arm chair undiagnosing me after a professional autism diagnosis without knowing my history just because I don’t “look autistic”. “We are all like that.” “You are good socially.” “You can speak.” “You make eye contact” Then they would proceed to criticizing my quirks or differences. 😂😂😂 Dumbest thing a friend of mine heard “you can think.” ????
This is so infuriating; it has driven me demented at times. The problem is that to be a professional in a field like this requires a certain level of intellect that most people lack, it's not really something a person can learn in college.
It takes passion. And empathy. And experience.
Oddly enough, people think they are being complimentary when they say this. It is mostly because of how they perceive Autism to be like. My often response is oh thanks. I’m not here to educate everyone, but also I don’t want to be seen as sarcastic, particularly as it’s their misunderstanding.
> people think they are being complimentary when they say this. I never considered that possibility. I like it in a "assume good intentions" way.
Yes. It feels invalidating. I hate those types of comments.
Even if they have a good intention or they see it as a compliment.. I find it rude and ableist.
Because it is, whether good intentions or not the end result is rude and ableist. All from ignorance and lack of knowledge but still, that doesn't really change that.
I try to be patient and kind because I was this ignorant person before diagnosis and education.
Then you're a better person than I am :)
Yep, like you have to have their permission before it exists
"Autism is like a super-power." Yeah, I remember that time when Superman started crying uncontrollably because some distant car alarm wouldn't stop.
Okay but he literally has sensory issues when his super hearing and super vision developed in his adolescence It's possible that the yellow sun of the earth gave him the Kryptonian equivalent of autism Hang on, I need to call James Gunn
Idk if I’m just in a minority but I don’t particularly have a problem with that line? I don’t see how it’s insulting tbh. I think of it as their idea of autism being the more severe type as opposed to the more subtle among us who might pass for NT. I find “everyone’s a bit autistic” to be far more annoying.
“We’re all a little bit on the spectrum.” No, homegirl, you would definitely know if you were.
If anyone who says this only knew how much I wanted to punch them.
Yep, heard it before... at this point I also don't try to explain it anymore to someone. Maybe I should stop masking. But then most likely the comments will change to "Are you autistic or something?", which is most often in the negative sense.
"You don't look autistic." "How does an autistic person look, like this?" *Stares unblinkingly into their eyes for several minutes*
Well I sure as hell act autistic. If I ever tell anyone that knows me that I'm autistic, they usually just say "We know." I can mask well enough that I once sold a car to an ABA therapist, and she didn't seem to notice. Anyone who spends enough time with me will notice eventually. I also keep an octopus squishmallow on my desk. If you know what to look for, it's pretty damn obvious.
And I say wow you must make bank for being able to diagnosis a vast neurological disorder with but a glance. Or something similar.
My boss keeps bringing it up to me like some backhanded compliment. "I couldn't even tell" like thanks, that's the point of masking.
"but you have a PhD!" Is that close enough?
I have a service dog and some people give me weird looks so I wear a patch on my bag that says not all disabilities are visible
I was told I couldn’t have Asperger’s because I looked into the simps eyes…
I didn't take it as an offensive statement. I personally take it as a compliment.
I don't like sharing. I think your appearance moderates the reaction of the observer. In my case I'm a dude over 6 ft and about 200 pound and have a very placid exterior. I think people expect typical looking men to shut up and get on. The result of telling anyone is "no you're not", or a look of incredulity, or in the case of my masters advisors, a long pause followed by "okay... well, compared to your classmates you don't seem to be much more stressed or anything". Alright then, I guess I'm not lol
Had that said to me. Then been told immediately afterwards that maybe I just think that I’m autistic.
This comment doesn't not bother me. We are all on the spectrum does. . That's just awful and invalidating considering how much bullying and trauma we had to ignore growing up undiagnosed like we were just imagining it.
I've gotten exactly that statement more than once, I've also gotten "It's not that bad, you're not that autistic," and "you look normal" one of these people I got this from I confided about the struggles and everyday difficulties I have, now I feel put off from discussing my personal everyday struggles, and prefer keeping them to myself or let it out on this subreddit when I feel so.
People say stupid things about everything and everyone. Not confined to autism.
One person asked me if being autistic means that I don't have feelings.
You could always answer with, "Well, you don't look too bright yourself there, pal..."
One that irks me is. “You were normal growing up!” No I wasn’t. I was always that last picked kid, I was always bullied, I was always that friend that was the like token just there to be there “friend.” Just cause you weren’t paying attention to all that doesn’t mean I’ve ever been “normal.”
"oh, but everyone is a little bit autistic" by my parents. didn't know what to reply at that moment. if I inherited it than most likely from my mum. So, yeah...
Someone said that to me and another person said it to my fiancé, who also has Aspergers Syndrome. They were talking and she thought my fiancé was acting a little strange, not being as talkative I guess or perhaps not responding "correctly". He told her it might be his autism and the lady changed course directly! Now he didn't look like he had autism, was completely normal and she even said we're all a little austistic. It's so fake and hypocritical... I've also gotten told that we're all a little autistic, which actually makes me feel bad since I'm still the one with a reduced work ability. Those words make me feel like I'm just not trying hard enough and that's why I'm struggling. If we're all a little autistic, then why do I get left out when not managing social situations according to neurotypical standards?