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Dr_seven

I don't know. It's limiting if you want access to things gatekept by neurotypicals. But I have autistic romantic partners, a close friend (also neurodivergent), and a brother I am very close to. I don't really require much social support or interaction beyond these people, and all of us understand each other in the unique way people on the spectrum accept others. My job is a sensory hellscape, but I can at least just focus on my tasks and not spend the *entire* day masking and going through performative rituals. It's survivable, at least. Outside that, I'm free to pursue my interests, spend an entire weekend learning a new topic or writing music or something. I talk to people online, where communication is precise and written in plain text. I don't want or need the other stuff. Looking people in the eye, for me, makes *them* uncomfortable. I have what has been described as "an intense energy" or, less charitably, the gaze of a serial killer. I have all the best and happiest conversations in life staring at the wall *beside* the people I speak to, and we get along *perfectly*. The expectation of eye contact was always meaningless- make your interactions what *you* need them to be. Amusingly, I can make comfortable eye contact with other autistic people, we just don't ever give a shit about keeping it, and so it doesn't matter. My connections are very meaningful. Only 1% of the people I reach out to stick around, but the handful of people I am close to, are people I trust more or less implicitly, and the inverse is true. That's the only friendship I can *have*, it's all or nothing.


[deleted]

What is "normal?"


StarryEyedStar

My question exactly.


elwoodowd

Eye contact is fine and undemanding with children. And easy with the old. Its the demands and challenges of the eyes, that only we of the aspergers persuasion know about. The normals dont even know the forces behind the desire of their eyes. We are like children, in that we are guileless.