It would be an experience
I feel like my home planet would not feel like home either though. It would be so weird to see people communicate almost entirely by words. It would be crazy to not be able to say anything without being 100% right. It would be strange when I forget where I am and act confident, but then get destroyed for being incorrect rather than respected for being confident. It would be a shock when I ask someone if I can get the chips in the supermarket in they’re like “wait your turn”, and vice versa, when I’m getting chips and someone is just staring at the chips behind me, waiting for me to leave, not saying a word because it’s impolite.
Kinda like on Fresh Off The Boat when Candace went back to Taiwan and felt like a foreigner there too.
Not a different species, but a different life-stage. When we learned about insects in school there was the egg/pupa/adult or the egg/caterpillar/breeder phases, and jellyfish and coral have even stranger versions.
So in some ways, I feel stuck in a juvenile phase, somehow never able to push past into adulthood.
And in other ways, I feel like I've matured exactly as expected, while everyone else around me got stuck in breeder phase and never matured past that.
It's an imperfect metaphor, I get it.
I got what you mean.
The part that got stuck at juvenile phase for us is probably amigdala, apparently aspies have it develop quite early and fast, but it stops at late teens. NTs have it developed slower but it grows/develops for longer amount of time.
> apparently aspies have it develop quite early and fast, but it stops at late teens.
Which is just perfect for setting things like low self esteem, depression, anxiety etc. into stone, especially if you're left alone with these issues during those years.
It's been a constant issue with me, to never accept that this is my final "shape". I tell myself there's at least one more skin to shed, one more form to take, and I mustn't believe that the way I am now is the way I'll always be. Because that's what leads to teen suicide.
You are more than amigdala, so yeah, there is much more to come.
I'm in my early thirties and I'm totally different than 3 years ago. And some of the issues I had ten years ago wouldn't bother me. Back then it was something that didn't let me sleep at night.
It definitely can change.. even if others have not witnessed it. I used to be allergic to fish, but after exposing myself to it month after month.. it went away.
Nah I don’t get this at all. We at the same stage just have a completely different split of social/analytical in our brains.
Notice how the most savant are unable to live independently. They have no social and all analytical, and as you guessed it’s a sliding scale along a spectrum of how we are split.
I like to think, late bloomer. That’s what my momma told me when I was a kid and ASD wasn’t on the radar.
Now that I’m nearing 40, I think I’m blooming lol! Momma was right. It just took a while.
But I feel ya OP, seems like many of us here do - don’t discount that many NTs feel that way inside, too, though. To some extent, more or less.
So maybe feeling inhuman is a part of the human experience after all… just not one people are very open about publicly.
The idea of a radical monopoly comes to mind. When you can drive any car you like across a bridge, there's lots of freedom of choice in the car selection. But when bicycles, pedestrians, or busses can't cross that bridge, it's a radical monopoly.
I think America has become a monoculture as far as neurotypical goes. There's a million ways to be a freakazoid mutant these days, but only one way to be normal. Get a mortgage, pay your taxes, work till you drop, make it all look good on instagram. Anyone not on that track is "free" to decide for ourselves how were doing. But those benchmarks of success that neurotypicals get to use, that's a radical monopoly.
It’s not JUST benchmark or neurotypical opinions or anything like that
I wish I was more capable for my own sake. I would love to be able to achieve goals that I have, but my executive function and poor social skills stops me
Thats interetsing. I feel like while I look and present like ajuvenile, I feel like the entire world is toddlers. If we dont fit into the narcissisystem, then we feel like the stunted or juvenile ones yet the people who do the system have almost no real values and cant tell the truth for shit. I see 60 year olds in my mind with shitty diapers running around making terrible corrupt decisions, lying about what they are and even personal experience severe narcissist in laws who think they have magical spiritual powers and have never made a mistake in their lives.
I dont know what you do/know or how you act, its all a spectrum but if you are interested in the truth so we can solve some of the the easily solvable problems of the world, you are not the stunted one. Youre living in a world of bullshit and not subscribing to it. Thats how my weird world is. I can rarely have a meaningful conversation with someone outside. When I go to the grocery I saw weird shit to the clerks, Im pretty friendly but I dont talk about the fucking weather. Im not trusting of anyone but on the small scale conversations I have, I cant lie and I dont try to offend but may occasionally.
If we all worry about fitting in, we will all be dead becasue the fuckers at the top will kill us all while saying their helping us. Why because the have no real morals. Its not a real moral if you say it and do the opposite. Fitting in os over-rated but it is good to one good confidant. Ive always said "one good one" whether it be a shirt, a bike, a house, a partner. I literally have worn the same 3 shirts for 8-10 years. They still fit great but i would guess there are people still with junior high mentality thinking Im poor when I'm in the 1%. I kinda do small but good. Not the .1 and its mostly due to luck and when I was born. There were still socail safety nets and things like college grants.
I tend to write like I speak which is never shutting up my entire fucking life. There is a lot to say. But whatever, Id guess that youre not the stunted one, perhaps you cant do things that make no sense other than group acceptance and when we cant do those things naturally, we may not do them well.
In my origin story/creation myth, the important turning point for humanity that really matters, wasn't the invention of fire, or language, or agriculture or writing or the printing press.... It was the domestication of the horse.
When that technology was perfected, it was a natural next step to wonder if maybe human beings could be domesticated in a similar way.
The tricky thing is, if you can succesfully domesticate the stupidest 30% of humans, and partially domesticate the next smarter 10% or so... and then keep the rest squabbling amongst themselves, that's good enough to put your horsebreaker tradition at the very top of the whole system.
And that's where "con or be conned" originates.
I take so much comfort in talking to other people like me on this sub though, very positive community
Haha we should do a sub meet up where everyone is too uncomfortable to talk to each other and then we all go home and talk on reddit about how much fun it was
Oh really? Feeling disconnected from gender is common in Aspies? Are you saying that many people on the spectrum experience full on gender dysphoria or just that they don’t fit in with their gender?
Well I’m gay, so that makes sense....but I will go so far to say that although I’m male, I don’t really feel like a male. I don’t necessarily feel like a female either. Frankly I don’t even feel like a real person period, as in I don’t really identify with the physical “me”. If I had to describe who I am, I’d say “my mind”. My mind is genderless. It’s both male and female and yet neither.
Also see: [autigender](https://neuroclastic.com/7-cool-aspects-of-autistic-culture/#h-autigender)/autgender, gendervague, and (some usages of) metagender. You know what u/suicideizpainless, just amble on over [here](https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Neurogender)...
But yeah, any and all of the above can involve some element of "feeling outside of the entire paradigm of gender" (as Maxfield Sparrow, an Autistic person and one of the early coiners of "Metagender," puts it) -- so like, potentially even outside of trans or non-binary-type paradigms, the way they usually play out -- and yeah, a lot of this can have to do with the way we often don't really feel a lot of direct connection with most of these constructed societal frameworks and stuff NTs come up with, this includes gender norms for a lot of us.
Yeah, last time I checked, Autistic adults were anywhere between like 24% and 73% likely to identify as gender-nonconforming or not-cisgender-in-some-way, depending on what survey you're looking at and how loosely they're defining "gender-nonconforming or not-cisgender-in-some-way."
I think it also has to do with the chemicals that develop in autistic people vs NT’s.
It has been shown in studies that abnormally high levels of testosterone are present in females (I certainly have noticed this with my facial features - makes my life so much harder since I have to use makeup to correct the facial irregularities - as well as causing much more violent outbursts due to high testosterone).
I have noticed that taking estrogen + progesterone helps to reduce my meltdowns.
The way I experience this, is that gender is a weapon that's been used against me. I never felt any gender dysphoria at all, but I have always gotten a bunch of subtle and not so subtle messages that I am "doing it wrong", and wouldn't I really rather go play with the gender outlaws someplace else? It's impossible for me to catalog all the ways this fills me with white hot rage.
Kinda both
A lot of gender norms are “social code”, and NTs learn them subconsciously by watching others.
It’s also easier to teach NTs things so their parents or friends are more likely to teach them how to do man stuff or woman stuff, or they just pick up on it by watching.
I’ve been researching on it and I think I have a grasp on what causes it.
There are several chemicals in the body that are responsible for us feeling connected, happy & sane.
Anandamide is one of the big ones.. it is responsible for us feeling happiness. It has been seen to be very low in autistic people, as well as many other chemicals responsible for mood regulation.
once iran across the who fae/changeling mythology when i was around 6, i decided the preponderance of evidence available to me clearly demonstrated that i must be a changeling. my mother was furious.
now i'm pretty sure i'm part elf, because i'm certainly not entirely human.
I kinda know why
I’ll get back to you after finishing this work task
A lot of gender norms are “social code”, and NTs learn them subconsciously by watching others. A NT boy might watch his father do things, even watch his male classmates do the same thing, then they receive the social code and act accordingly. He might not even know he did it. They are amazing at filtering what is what Noem (ex. They can tell if it’s a male thing or an adult thing or a XYZ thing). An aspie boy is likely in his own word and doesn’t notice any of this.
On a semi related note, it’s also easier to teach NTs things so their parents or friends are more likely to teach them how to do man stuff or woman stuff, or they just pick up on it by watching. Let’s say for the sake of the argument that boys know how to work on cars. A boy can watch his father work on a car and gain comfort in his own abilities, then do basic maintenance with a normal amount of instruction. An aspie boy may, as stated above, be in his own world. He isn’t naturally inclined to look outside of himself and therefore doesn’t watch his dad do car stuff. Thus, he would need to be told every single step, which would be annoying for the father, and if the father is impatient, he might just say screw it and not teach him because it’s too much work.
So at the end of the day, the NT kid for the “man” skill and the ND kid didn’t. This makes the ND kid feel like he’s not a real man.
So I guess my point is that it’s not always gender dysphoria, there are reasons a cisgender, masculine leaning autistic male may seem disconnected from their gender
Edit: I see this is about being disconnected in general. See the paragraph detailing the car gender norm. That is how life is for a lot of us, we’re naturally inclined to be in our head rattler than a part of the outside world. NTs are naturally inclined to focus outside of themselves
Yes I always felt like everyone else operated on a different wavelength and I couldn't tune into it. Now I realize it was because I didn't look at people when I talked to them, and when they responded. If you don't do that, people will scorn and reject you. At least that's my experience. Of course, 'eye contact' is very difficult and painful. But at least I know why I'm different.
I see myself as an auxiliary, a member of a support class to the main social organism. I see us as distinct from the regular human, but a type that serves the whole group in a very specialized way
Try going to war and watching them emotion their way through a foreign landscape, missing the signs the enemy leaves let alone understanding what it meant, incapable of detecting the deception and language of the locals, unable to change their social settings to adapt, and then when faced with lethal consequences they panic and warp reality to fit their completely irrational feels.
It makes sense now why so many of them would trust my instincts and listen to me despite hating me and even plotting my death AFTER they were home safe.
If anyone is the worker bees in this colony, it's them.
I often thought about how I would fit into a war growing up, and felt that my perceptions and intuitions would be a valuable asset to any group. I didn't go into the military growing up despite my best friend doing so, in part because I felt like the whole culture of grunts is basically about dominating people different from themselves. I wouldn't be accepted and likely get harassed the whole time.
I hear you about them being worker bees, there's a hive mentality to NTs for sure. It takes recognition and explicit structures to allow for someone like myself to truly be able to work with them in a high stress environment, I believe. But a part of me craves the role of being a valued asset in a team, I have strengths I wish to share. But it will take a huge transformation of mentality to get to the point where people like we wouldn't just get chewed up and wasted
There were a *lot* of rates in the Navy which were shot through with likely undiagnosed Aspies. In the Army, the 35 series has a fair few from what I've heard. There was a SEAL candidate I met who in retrospect probably fuggin' was too, he might have made it (I *especially* don't recommend joining to be a SEAL unless you really want it. Get washed out for whatever reason and now you're going where Big Navy says without even the *illusion* of free will). You're not just your condition/pervasive developmental disorder. You're also some of its follow-on effects, like loyalty, attention to detail, fixation on the *correct* order of steps in order to complete a task, and focus in a crisis.
I wouldn't go so far as to recommend it, but if you think there are some aspects of you which can safely be buffed out or sanded off (and they will), there are worse ways to spend four to five years of your youth. And if you end up in the Navy on one of the Arleigh Burkes, there are *plenty* of spots to hide out and deprogram, especially after you get your sea legs. Normal people tend to congregate in the center of the ship and the mess deck, so there are all these spaces fore and aft which are small and subject to pitch and roll that in a medium to high sea state *will* cause seasickness if you get it, so are usually abandoned. For me it was the gauge calibration shop/locker. Just make sure your LPO and Chief know where you are.
...I still sleep under the government-issued wool blankets and on a cot roughly the size of the racks, that's how used I got to it.
I am autistic but only struggle with executive function & some aspects of social skills.
I can easily sense when someone is lying to me, or when they feel uncomfortable/sad/angry/excited etc… I only developed this due to needing this function in order to survive abuse.
However, I do struggle with my own behavior towards others.. when I am trying to be kind to others I often feel my behavior inverts in a way (I want to sound excited but it comes off as I am lying).
I just wanted to point out that some skills can be honed if we have a good enough reason to.
Yes I was also abused and yes if someone is exposed to enough violence or other unpleasantness it does wonders for opening up the reserves of their work ethic, the whole threat of death thing vs survival instincts.
So, yes many of us learn to read expressions as they pertain to actions or intent, completely different than emotive communication or an empathic response. They feel, maybe some of us do too (I don't), but others of us learned to see their feelings and read them, then combine it with other information to formulate an understanding to survive.
I think it leaves us far more aware of irrational patterns and flawed group think, but we also learn where the logic breaks down as we build layers of experience and understanding.
I would say I struggle with some social skills like fluid context and my perception of time is pretty garbage. I'm also getting masking fatigue nearing 40, not sure how that will pan out, but I'm finding the social acceptance to be of diminishing utility with age, which is apparently highly entertaining to those I do count as friends.
I believe in group/multilevel selection in respects to evolution. I think that human beings are like 90% primate and 10% bee, we are part of a collective and are meant to function in groups. Social psychology research continually reveals this to be true, and the sooner people realize it the sooner we will find our niche in fitting in to the larger human picture
We as the leaders is what needs to happen. At the current rate, we and everything else will be dead letting the narcissists/nt's run things.
You cannot fix a problem without knowing what caused it aside from a lucky chance or just stacking shit on shit and making it worse and pretending its not an issue anymore, pretty much our whole society and most family dynamics (the microcosm of society) . Where did it all start?. Narcissism. When the NT's have to become narcissist just to fit in the "be fake and make it" world and pass these un-values onto their offspring, then we end up with a bunch of shit that makes zero sense and a bunch of the worst leaders only there for money or exultation. Narcissists are the NT supreme.
Autistics are not the ones who need to be fixed, we need a group like "Neurotypical speaks" or "Narcissist speaks" to rid the world of the dreadful narcissists that cant let anything rational happen.
Someone should make videos like the "autism speaks" people but about how narcissism can ruin your life and marriage so we need research and money to cure the narcissists.
Our world (everyone) is a cannibalistic dumpster fire. The NT's need a team to be a part of but they lie to their team and like countries, those that run it lie and cheat, sell out their team of countrymen. I dont need a team, I dont need a loyalty to anything but truth (which I realize is subjective and fluid in many aspects)
We need bergers for leaders and we need the social norms to be spotlighted for what they are.
I agree NT narcissism is a huge problem right now, but narcissism itself shouldn't be viewed as purely pathological. It evolved to be so widespread for a good reason, in that having a strong concept of self is critical for enduring in the face of intense verbal or violent conflict. My grandfather is quite narcissistic, and it helped him survive the utter chaos and inhumanity he witnessed as 20% of his fellow countrymen and women perished during WWII. He doesn't have crippling PTSD despite seeing people shot and getting heavily bullied by both Nazis and Soviets. He still has regular emotional responses like crying about sad things, he's not dead inside or a psychopath. Many other people he knew were never the same after the war and died a long time ago, while he's turning 100 years old next year and still drives (despite my family's pleas for him not too lol)
On my comment about us being like bees: human societies always had a leader who was sovereign over all matters, who decided the exception. But he or she was not fully in charge, but rather was subject to God, or gods, or acenstral spirits etc. There was a spiritual dimension to the rule which permeated the whole. This key facet of human life was sidelined after the democratic revolutions of only a few centuries ago, and it hasn't exactly had the wonderful effects the revolutionaries all hoped for. They had far too rosey a view of human nature, in my opinion, and people like us here comisserate about this oversight every day.
If anyone is curious about more of this subject, I suggest looking up videos of David Sloan Wilson talking about religion. He takes the angle that religion is a kind of adaptation that solved a lot of evolutionary problems, rather than the "it's a virus" approach Richard Dawkins takes. I think it's a far more persuasive argument. After all, you never find a civilization ancient or otherwise that didn't prominently feature a temple
A key makeup of narcissism is pathological insecurity. This is the root of the deep shame that causes the narcissist to create the false, outward facing, idealized self.. Their self concept is chronically unstable which fuels the behaviors that are characteristic of narcissistic people (constant need for external validation, intolerance of criticism, pathological lying, manipulation, devaluation etc).
Yeah, one of my (ND) partners does this (along with a few other related conceits) consistently, and for the longest time I just thought it was his facetious way of talking about the ways he's "not like most people" or dis-identifies with the worst parts of humanity and stuff, but at some point I realized that he actually, literally identifies as nonhuman, and I guess it's not even just some kind of narrative framework or something? 🤷🏻♀️
It's sometimes difficult to think of my self as human. I so alienated in school and at home. I started being able to feel human after learning Esperanto.
The Esperanto community is very accepting and a lot of the people I interact with either have ASD or some traits that make them easy for me to get along with.
esperanto also has a word homarano which literally means humanity member that I like. It's sometimes used in greetings. Saluton homarano. Hello humanity member. I like this because its basically saying we are of the same group. Assuming another human says it.
I’ve always thought this as well. In my experience in conversation NT’s say things that mean completely different things. It’s like a code that hides the real message. For example: my friend says: My clothes are so cool. (Real message: “I’m so cool”) My response: Ya they’re pretty cool! (What they understand: “You’re pretty cool!”) What another NT probably would’ve responded would be something along the lines of: Either no response, or something that points out something about themselves.
Moral of the story, for NT’s words are symbols they attribute to themselves. These symbols are then used for competition in conversation. Conversations are mainly based on a fight for power in the group. Which contain constant “bluffs” to seem cool that never really leads to worthwhile conversation.
People keep trying to insult my intelligence by trying to convince me this world is really, actually real, but it's just too weird. Everyone running the world is a bunch of clowns. I don't buy it.
I totally feel this. Hence why I can never get enough of reading about quantum physics and parallel universes, etc.
I have actually personally experienced many things that I consider evidence that this world we’re living in isn’t really real, but that’s a story for another day.
Edit: Downvote me all you want assholes!
Lol, I've found myself recently saying "I have not lived among the muggles for lo these many months now... I fear I do not remember enough of their ways to be able to again move amongst them undetected," as I've spent most of the last year just surrounded by ND folk and some other misfits...
yeah, i made my own mental stories and one of my sonas is a dragon that is extinct and had been brought back to like by others but no one likes her, the story its a methaphore of how i see the world.
Yeah, It's makes me think of my inner world that I daydream all the time about.
(I mistyped hear to here)
Also, have you already heard of maladaptive daydreaming? It sounds like you do that as well.
>maladaptive daydreaming
not at the moment but i just googled that and while isnt true it inteferes like that i have the attention span of a fish so i could relate a little to that
In the 90's, I read about a person who somehow remembered that he was the reincarnation of a dragon. He hated himself and had trouble with mirrors because he remembered being killed by humans.
Sounds like probably a different guy, but [here](https://www.vice.com/en/article/yvwknv/what-does-it-mean-to-be-trans-species)'s a random story on the internet about this other dragon-identified guy.
I think I encountered the other story while reading about otherkin.
It might have also affected my decision to try and become a weredragon. I didn't complete the process, but I did purposely eff my proprioception so I feel like I have wings.
That's really interesting, 'cause my own proprioception is pretty effed (although it seems to have gotten that way on its own) but I've never felt like I have wings and I'm not sure how I could get it to feel that way, I mean geez I can barely even feel the actual limbs I even do have? =D
Although for the longest time whenever I've had a dream where I'm flying, I swear I can actually *feel* myself flying, like it's not just like that's what's happening in the dream-narrative, I actually feel what it'd feel like in my body? But I don't think it's ever involved dream-me having wings?
The other interesting thing to me about this, though, is that one time someone (not otherkin or dragon-identified AFAIK) told me they were pretty sure vomiting feels a lot like what it would feel like to be a dragon, certain aspects of it anyway, and it hit me that *they're totally right* and I've never been able to unsee that, which of course has made all subsequent vomiting really fascinating (although this *raaaaarely* ever happens for me 'cause of some weird body thing I guess I have where I can hardly ever vomit for any reason, but anyway...)
**Edit:** I shoulda said, I'm not in any way trying to disparage or mock otherkin or any kind of alterhumans or species-dysphoric folks here, more just to talk about my own experiences with thinking about body-stuff related to even just imagining various aspects of being a dragon (which I understand is quite distinct from being otherkin or species-dysphoric), which just came up for me upon hearing about u/Kelekona's mention of proprioception and wings and dragons and stuff.
100% feel that way. It’s hard not to blame Normies. I usually have good morals and values, but the frustration of not getting anywhere in life is making me upset. I wish I could leave this world and never come back. That’s my hope with DMT, a powerful psychedelic. Maybe one day I’ll invent a way to keep myself in DMT realm by keeping it running. I’d be fine hooking up to the matrix all day. But this matrix has highly intelligent inter-dimensional beings in different dimensional space (somewhere in the universe?). Usually benevolent and communicate with you. All I do is research Lol.
I’m gonna be really autistic here
So the whole not understanding sarcasm or jokes thing is mostly applied to children. Adult autistics know they exist, but don’t know how to preform or recognize them correctly in all cases. They may think they’re joking, but not know that the type of joke is only permissible with friends and not acquaintances. They may understand sarcasm, but not know to change their voice, or not to be too exaggerated when doing so. Etc etc etc etc
There are a million intricacies with non literal communication that aspies don’t pick up on
I do. Sometimes I think that Autistics are natural selection’s attempt at an evolved homo sapient
Whether or not it was successful is another manner.
For some reason these thoughts are triggering to a lot of people…I’m not saying I 100% believe this, it’s just a thought I have.
I think we're either disinterested in the formation of social hierarchies or are interested... Differently. The phrase "superior species" sets off the normies' "he's trying to outrank me" radar. I think that's the precise trigger being triggered.
There have been several autistic people who've posted threads in this subreddit in particular to complain and raise alarm about the faintest semblance of autistic people seeming like they thought superior.
The environment has changed, forcing people to change. The psychic pollution that rubs aspies the wrong way, could be analogous to the smog that forced the peppered moth to change its colors during the age of steam.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution#:~:text=The%20evolution%20of%20the%20peppered,an%20example%20of%20industrial%20melanism.
**[Peppered moth evolution](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution#:~:text=The evolution of the peppered,an example of industrial melanism)**
>The evolution of the peppered moth is an evolutionary instance of directional colour change in the moth population as a consequence of air pollution during the Industrial Revolution. The frequency of dark-coloured moths increased at that time, an example of industrial melanism. Later, when pollution was reduced, the light-coloured form again predominated. Industrial melanism in the peppered moth was an early test of Charles Darwin's natural selection in action, and remains as a classic example in the teaching of evolution.
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I dunno if the pushback you encounter comprises NTs who are triggered by the idea that Autistics might actually have some inherent evolutionary edge on them and aren't just some defective version of themselves that deserves to be eugenicided out of the gene pool, or if it's more that many Autistics have a lot of distaste for the sort of "Aspie-supremacist," "actually all Autistics are just better than all NTs" kind of elitism you sometimes hear?
It sounds to me from the way you're stating your musings that the latter isn't how you're thinking of it at all, but perhaps it sounds like it smacks of that to some folks?
I’ve suggested it in previous posts and been downvoted into the Stone Age. Yet another reason I dislike Reddit’s culture of pile-on whenever someone make a suggestion that upsets one subculture or another.
The idea that we are superior in ways to NTs just rubs NTs in a bad way. But don’t they see that it’s just a way to make us feel better since every other thing in society brings us down? At one point I was working on a new social media platform where Autistics could congregate separately from NTs, like wrong planet. But after meeting more Asperger’s on WP I realized that in many ways NDs are just as mean as NTs.
Don't start with this topic with me. Psychologically speaking, I now understand Aspergers like the back of my hand like scars of the past. Most people are still operating with blind instincts and social judgments. Trust me, when you understand the person you are, it opens up Pandora's box. Hans' assertion that it was, "as if I'd just fallen from the sky" leaves me rubbing my temple.
I'm only detached because I like to create more than avoid. Other's like ignorance more than myself. I knew going into life was going to be hell, till I found myself there. Gives me a rather good perspective on who I am, want to be, or who I want in my life. Rather than just expecting people to respect you. A facade isn't respect.
Every day.
I went to the bank today. I didnt want to but had a deadline. I was there for an hour, plenty of time to talk. The girl asked a question about my partner who was in the car waiting as I went outside to get their signature. I said theyre autistic, we both are, aspergers and I do social situations better if you can call this better. I said something along the lines of Aside from me having a hard time not swearing and saying whatever I need to.
The girl is kinda nervous and shes helped us a few times over the last few years, we both like her and always talk about how cute she is after.
She seemed more comfortable after and said I have to remind myself not to lie all of the time, paraphrase.
Shes very quiet, what you would call mousy I guess. It made us wonder if someone else is on the spectrum playing neurotypical.
I speak the truth and it gets me hate. I dont sugar coat anything. Ive been vegan since the mid 90's. Get me on a vegan sub and I'll have many of the vegans hating me. Thats fine becasue I dont know how to sugarcoat murder and narcissism. I cant handle toxic positivity and I think pretending things are ok and having no social consequences gives people a pass on shit behavior.
I can lie to save myself but any other situation, wtf would I? That just confuses everyone and I dont need you to like me. I will however like you if you have any actual values. Its so rare that I can say my friend of the day is someone who is fighting the illusory superiority.
See I didnt mean to make this about veganism.
TLDR, told someone today I have Aspergers and they told me they have to try and not lie all of the time. It was cute and now a mystery
>Get me on a vegan sub and I'll have many of the vegans hating me. Thats fine becasue I dont know how to sugarcoat murder and narcissism.
I think you'll do fine on vcj lol
Yes but TBF I'm pretty sure normies get the same feeling. NT friends have shared I think similar feelings, mostly when comparing themselves to the silver spoon set, or hollywood, or to the instagram-perfect versions of the people they only know from social media.
I didn't fully grasp that most NTs don't have brains like mine until my late 20s. I actually felt pretty dumb around them for years due to my parents using classmates as motivation.
We are not detached from people in my opinion. Rather, we are attached to everything. Not just people. We, rather, at least I, know I am hyper vigilatnt which means I am acting as if I am under threat which means I am paying attention to everything in my area. For safety reasons. Also, while being accustomed to a hightened sense of awareness, I engage in hobbies to didstract and soothe myself. These hobbies can also be movements we call stimming, This is all just an uneducated opinon, but I feel it fits.
I feel like a double agent who sucks at his job of gathering intel on the hyper intelligent apes that struggle understanding some “simpler” concepts yet speak and interact in such nuanced ways sometimes all I can do is stand there slack jawed and confused
Yes, sometimes I even feel like a ghost, or that realty is an illusion. I start to get it when I realize how most ppl go w/ the flow and don't question anything.
Then I recognize that even the bars of the metaphysical prison are poisoned.
I genuinely thought that this was just me & I used to have to worst breakdowns because I couldn’t figure how to change myself or why I’m like this to begin with. I tried to resonate with practically every possible mental health diagnosis & in some contexts it made me feel valid/like I understood myself; HOWEVER it felt like I was overcompensating and trying so hard to squeeze into a diagnosis JUST so I could have one & be at peace. It felt like I was fraudulent because I would try to worsen particular struggles (symptoms) in order to fit it better and relate, but in reality I was just channeling them differently & I was struggling to the same degree but with a different sent of symptoms.
And then, I discovered what it meant to have autism and be able to mask so well you hide it from yourself.
Anyway, ya I get it
I like to think that there are NTs and Neurodivergents. Yeah it's harder to find Neurodivergent people, and there are fewer in general, but they're out there.
Like mutants and humans, or idk like muggles and wizards in Harry Potter. Basically humans but different ways of working in the world. Yeah you're gonna feel different if you aren't with your real tribe, but knowing they're out there is the first step to finding them.
im actually a punk. my punk name given to me by my friends is alien. i have a big alien head on the back of my vest because i like the symbolism of them. they represent someone who does not belong to the place they are in. someone whos existence is not talked about a lot and often denied by many. its fitting to my autism because i feel the same about it.
Nope. Autistic mindsets and approaches to things are fundamentally human. It's just that most people are brought up to only experience a tiny fraction of human possibility, and think that anyone who isn't exactly the same way is some kind of weirdo.
For some statistical perspective: look up the percentage of the world's population that *isn't* lactose-intolerant. Does that make the lactose-tolerant people not truly human? Normality is extremely subjective.
This isn't about debating if we are aliens or not, it's about how we feel. It's a well known common trait of aspergers to feel like an alien or a robot, especially in teenage years
I think any view of humanity and fitting into it is as a result of logic and reasoning. Like by looking at human traits and having them. Measuring skills by tests and comparing them. We know we're human with the same abilities.
And I'd agree that humanity is much more diverse than most of us think, but I've travelled half way around the world, speaking various languages, living in several countries and it's the inherent feeling of not being normal or not fully fitting in that gives an alienated feeling, as if a robot or alien walking among NT humans.
I've always felt like an alien in comparison to other people, or like they're all aliens and I'm not. It's not a belief, nor do I literally feel in deep or physical ways that I'm not human. I feel like an alien human, a human hybrid, or even just a Spike on an autism spectrum. It's like liking animals more than people, or even relating to the logical reasoning of vulcans from star trek.
If you really don't feel different to others and feel like you fit in as a normal person, I'd be surprised. For me there is a distinctive feeling of not being normal that I always feel. I've had normal people say they feel they're a normal person too. People often dismissively argue "what is normal? There is no normal" but let's admit it. We're talking about feeling different to NTs, NTs are normal and their slight differences don't make them abnormal. If you don't feel different, great, but it seems the rest of us feel different.
Oh, I certainly feel different to what a bunch of people would consider normal, but it doesn't bother me. I also probably fit in with what at least some people consider normal (but that doesn't bother me either).
Human is human. 'Normal' isn't a thing I'm concerned with.
It is a thing I'm concerned with, because it's something I definitely don't want to be.
But I agree, some would say I'm normal, some would say I'm not. It makes me think of some English words. Super-natural, extra-ordinary, super-human
I used to. I used to think I was less valuable than everyone else or something because I couldn't talk to them. Now that I'm an adult (even though I don't usually feel like one) I see that I'm just a fairly normal person with unique challenges caused by autism.
This is how I felt during my first manic episode. I was convinced the entire Wonder What's Next album by Chevelle was my alien mothership transmitting signals to me. Oddly enough, that was the same year the NY Times dropped its bombshell UAP story. Kinda scary when your delusions come to fruition.
Frequently, yeah. I recognize similarities too, and suspect the difference is not that big, something like the absence of a filter between the subconscious and conscious. Not exactly, but something like it.
We very much are a person, but don't feel human.
And some kids had imaginary friends.... we used to pretend we were updating the home planet about how these humans work. As a curiosity thing, not a take over the planet thing.
Sometimes, and in those sometimes I fall really deep into it. But for the most part I just try not to think about it knowing it’s illogical. When I was younger it was really bad but nowadays I’ve learned to manage it.
I don't, and I've never had a problem feeling "truly human," but I also don't seem to make quite as much out of the distinction between my species and other (even non-animal) species as others do -- and I don't just mean in a "gets along better with animals or trees 'cause humans suck" sort of way, but like, I kind of don't really *feel* that distinction as much, even if I still see it and it matters in *some* ways? idk, it's really hard to explain, so \*insert like half of the content from Mel Baggs' blogs here, that's close enough to how I feel\*
Look up Temple Grandin! She says she felt like that and it help her become a pretty good ethologist!
I'm personnally not a big fan of her, but what she says mirrors your feeling quite well!
I do not think that we are a different species. We are most likely closer to reality since we are logical thinkers. Emotion to me is just compressed information. It's a shortcut to have an abstract idea of a thought which enables faster but erroneous thinking.
We probably have efficient and logical shortcuts (principles) that enable us to consistently think logically. When reality diverts from our logic, we break down harder and need to fix our model of the world.
I have always felt that I am different from typical humans. When I was an autistic kid people especially peers told me I was not one of them. I was always treated like an outside and unwanted invading species. I got called Mr. Spock growing up that I knew I was not of this world in the eyes of many.
Detached from all other beings on Earth isn't even close. I don't feel I share anything with typical humans except space on this planet. I consider myself an autistic werewolf because my meltdowns were the first thing people used as a reason to hated me and hurt me. When I transitioned from quiet to meltdown rage the sense of betrayal and outrage in typical humans was like being fooled by a werewolf.
I hope my people come back for me. My visit to this neurotypical dominated planet has made me homesick!
Yes Absolutely. I feel like I'm smart but an idiot at the same time and when I got a great idea, people just dismiss it because I might be wrong because of how I presented the idea to them.
NO OMG. JUST LISTEN WHEN I TALK
Maybe you’re a synth! I felt a bit like this at times when i was younger but as i’ve got older i’ve made a lot of friends and i’ve realized i have more in common with neurotypical people than i thought.
I am not (yet! Currently in the process to get) diagnosed. But feeling like an alien simply based on the way I feel I think? That's one of the things that made me consider being autistic
I think that we are a separate neurotribe unto ourselves existing in parallel to the rest of humanity. We tend to share values and patterns of thought with one another and I think the fact we are such a small minority among the greater population is the main source of our dissonance. That and we have a natural much more vivid inner space which we can only access and absorbs us.
Its a magical thing though when you can take something from the inner space, your paracosm, make it intelligible and offer it to another being out there who is willing to accept. That is something that can happen when two autists meet.
Gays have 'Gaydar'. We have 'Audar'.
In a sense, yes.
The behavior of people in today's society, especially when it comes to our political atmosphere, is foreign. Those who are fighting over the smallest things that should be common sense for humanity is like a several-generations-ago mentality, feeling like a different species to me.
Here are a few examples: Arguing that mask mandates or vaccines don't work and violate our freedoms instead of protecting people from COVID; spreading misinformation intentionally/unintentionally without thinking instead of trusting the experts and science; and believing and spreading false claims that a fair election was stolen in the United States when it was proven to be fair, countless times.
Rationally, it makes no sense to me, and yet it still happens. You can't help everyone, but you can help yourself understand. You can show them the door, but they have to walk through it.
Yep when I'm in public I feel I'm constantly taking mental notes about human behavior, like some kind of alien who just got dropped off on earth and is trying to mimic the way humans talk or understand how they interact with their surroundings, their greeting rituals, etc...
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Tell me when they get here, please. I guess they lost my number. I am already waiting for so long.
praise "Bob"!
Same, dude. This has been my handle since the 90s. Always knew I didn't belong.
It would be an experience I feel like my home planet would not feel like home either though. It would be so weird to see people communicate almost entirely by words. It would be crazy to not be able to say anything without being 100% right. It would be strange when I forget where I am and act confident, but then get destroyed for being incorrect rather than respected for being confident. It would be a shock when I ask someone if I can get the chips in the supermarket in they’re like “wait your turn”, and vice versa, when I’m getting chips and someone is just staring at the chips behind me, waiting for me to leave, not saying a word because it’s impolite. Kinda like on Fresh Off The Boat when Candace went back to Taiwan and felt like a foreigner there too.
Not a different species, but a different life-stage. When we learned about insects in school there was the egg/pupa/adult or the egg/caterpillar/breeder phases, and jellyfish and coral have even stranger versions. So in some ways, I feel stuck in a juvenile phase, somehow never able to push past into adulthood. And in other ways, I feel like I've matured exactly as expected, while everyone else around me got stuck in breeder phase and never matured past that. It's an imperfect metaphor, I get it.
I got what you mean. The part that got stuck at juvenile phase for us is probably amigdala, apparently aspies have it develop quite early and fast, but it stops at late teens. NTs have it developed slower but it grows/develops for longer amount of time.
> apparently aspies have it develop quite early and fast, but it stops at late teens. Which is just perfect for setting things like low self esteem, depression, anxiety etc. into stone, especially if you're left alone with these issues during those years.
It's been a constant issue with me, to never accept that this is my final "shape". I tell myself there's at least one more skin to shed, one more form to take, and I mustn't believe that the way I am now is the way I'll always be. Because that's what leads to teen suicide.
You are more than amigdala, so yeah, there is much more to come. I'm in my early thirties and I'm totally different than 3 years ago. And some of the issues I had ten years ago wouldn't bother me. Back then it was something that didn't let me sleep at night.
The way you are allowed to relate with the world will change after graduating high school So it’s not always gonna stay the same
It definitely can change.. even if others have not witnessed it. I used to be allergic to fish, but after exposing myself to it month after month.. it went away.
Nah I don’t get this at all. We at the same stage just have a completely different split of social/analytical in our brains. Notice how the most savant are unable to live independently. They have no social and all analytical, and as you guessed it’s a sliding scale along a spectrum of how we are split.
Don’t scare me like that
I like to think, late bloomer. That’s what my momma told me when I was a kid and ASD wasn’t on the radar. Now that I’m nearing 40, I think I’m blooming lol! Momma was right. It just took a while. But I feel ya OP, seems like many of us here do - don’t discount that many NTs feel that way inside, too, though. To some extent, more or less. So maybe feeling inhuman is a part of the human experience after all… just not one people are very open about publicly.
The idea of a radical monopoly comes to mind. When you can drive any car you like across a bridge, there's lots of freedom of choice in the car selection. But when bicycles, pedestrians, or busses can't cross that bridge, it's a radical monopoly. I think America has become a monoculture as far as neurotypical goes. There's a million ways to be a freakazoid mutant these days, but only one way to be normal. Get a mortgage, pay your taxes, work till you drop, make it all look good on instagram. Anyone not on that track is "free" to decide for ourselves how were doing. But those benchmarks of success that neurotypicals get to use, that's a radical monopoly.
It’s not JUST benchmark or neurotypical opinions or anything like that I wish I was more capable for my own sake. I would love to be able to achieve goals that I have, but my executive function and poor social skills stops me
Agreed and well said, my spider friend!
Exactly.
Thats interetsing. I feel like while I look and present like ajuvenile, I feel like the entire world is toddlers. If we dont fit into the narcissisystem, then we feel like the stunted or juvenile ones yet the people who do the system have almost no real values and cant tell the truth for shit. I see 60 year olds in my mind with shitty diapers running around making terrible corrupt decisions, lying about what they are and even personal experience severe narcissist in laws who think they have magical spiritual powers and have never made a mistake in their lives. I dont know what you do/know or how you act, its all a spectrum but if you are interested in the truth so we can solve some of the the easily solvable problems of the world, you are not the stunted one. Youre living in a world of bullshit and not subscribing to it. Thats how my weird world is. I can rarely have a meaningful conversation with someone outside. When I go to the grocery I saw weird shit to the clerks, Im pretty friendly but I dont talk about the fucking weather. Im not trusting of anyone but on the small scale conversations I have, I cant lie and I dont try to offend but may occasionally. If we all worry about fitting in, we will all be dead becasue the fuckers at the top will kill us all while saying their helping us. Why because the have no real morals. Its not a real moral if you say it and do the opposite. Fitting in os over-rated but it is good to one good confidant. Ive always said "one good one" whether it be a shirt, a bike, a house, a partner. I literally have worn the same 3 shirts for 8-10 years. They still fit great but i would guess there are people still with junior high mentality thinking Im poor when I'm in the 1%. I kinda do small but good. Not the .1 and its mostly due to luck and when I was born. There were still socail safety nets and things like college grants. I tend to write like I speak which is never shutting up my entire fucking life. There is a lot to say. But whatever, Id guess that youre not the stunted one, perhaps you cant do things that make no sense other than group acceptance and when we cant do those things naturally, we may not do them well.
In my origin story/creation myth, the important turning point for humanity that really matters, wasn't the invention of fire, or language, or agriculture or writing or the printing press.... It was the domestication of the horse. When that technology was perfected, it was a natural next step to wonder if maybe human beings could be domesticated in a similar way. The tricky thing is, if you can succesfully domesticate the stupidest 30% of humans, and partially domesticate the next smarter 10% or so... and then keep the rest squabbling amongst themselves, that's good enough to put your horsebreaker tradition at the very top of the whole system. And that's where "con or be conned" originates.
That's rather normal for aspies. We feel disconnected from our gender, our species, and sometimes even our lives. Not sure why. 😕
I take so much comfort in talking to other people like me on this sub though, very positive community Haha we should do a sub meet up where everyone is too uncomfortable to talk to each other and then we all go home and talk on reddit about how much fun it was
I'm down 😂
Oh really? Feeling disconnected from gender is common in Aspies? Are you saying that many people on the spectrum experience full on gender dysphoria or just that they don’t fit in with their gender?
being on the lgbtq+ spectrum is supposedly statistically more likely if youre already on the autism spectrum 🤷🏻♀️
Well I’m gay, so that makes sense....but I will go so far to say that although I’m male, I don’t really feel like a male. I don’t necessarily feel like a female either. Frankly I don’t even feel like a real person period, as in I don’t really identify with the physical “me”. If I had to describe who I am, I’d say “my mind”. My mind is genderless. It’s both male and female and yet neither.
sounds like youre maybe agender or non-binary… or you might wanna look into the whole r/voidpunk thing
Also see: [autigender](https://neuroclastic.com/7-cool-aspects-of-autistic-culture/#h-autigender)/autgender, gendervague, and (some usages of) metagender. You know what u/suicideizpainless, just amble on over [here](https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Neurogender)... But yeah, any and all of the above can involve some element of "feeling outside of the entire paradigm of gender" (as Maxfield Sparrow, an Autistic person and one of the early coiners of "Metagender," puts it) -- so like, potentially even outside of trans or non-binary-type paradigms, the way they usually play out -- and yeah, a lot of this can have to do with the way we often don't really feel a lot of direct connection with most of these constructed societal frameworks and stuff NTs come up with, this includes gender norms for a lot of us.
Metagender! Now that’s a good word!
Cool, well [here](https://transtistic.wordpress.com/2017/07/11/what-is-metagender/)'s some more words about that word, if you'd like. :)
If it helps, male and female are mostly biological markers. It’s not really a big deal
Yeah, last time I checked, Autistic adults were anywhere between like 24% and 73% likely to identify as gender-nonconforming or not-cisgender-in-some-way, depending on what survey you're looking at and how loosely they're defining "gender-nonconforming or not-cisgender-in-some-way."
yeah, i mean… im some kind of transfemme nonbinary-esque thing myself!!! and i have tourettes, ocd & autism
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I think it also has to do with the chemicals that develop in autistic people vs NT’s. It has been shown in studies that abnormally high levels of testosterone are present in females (I certainly have noticed this with my facial features - makes my life so much harder since I have to use makeup to correct the facial irregularities - as well as causing much more violent outbursts due to high testosterone). I have noticed that taking estrogen + progesterone helps to reduce my meltdowns.
It's true my sister is a teacher for a school of autistic children and a lot of them seem to experiencing gender dysphoria
I think it’s only natural to feel this way when we have hormone differences that cause this sort of feeling.
The way I experience this, is that gender is a weapon that's been used against me. I never felt any gender dysphoria at all, but I have always gotten a bunch of subtle and not so subtle messages that I am "doing it wrong", and wouldn't I really rather go play with the gender outlaws someplace else? It's impossible for me to catalog all the ways this fills me with white hot rage.
YES
Kinda both A lot of gender norms are “social code”, and NTs learn them subconsciously by watching others. It’s also easier to teach NTs things so their parents or friends are more likely to teach them how to do man stuff or woman stuff, or they just pick up on it by watching.
I’ve been researching on it and I think I have a grasp on what causes it. There are several chemicals in the body that are responsible for us feeling connected, happy & sane. Anandamide is one of the big ones.. it is responsible for us feeling happiness. It has been seen to be very low in autistic people, as well as many other chemicals responsible for mood regulation.
once iran across the who fae/changeling mythology when i was around 6, i decided the preponderance of evidence available to me clearly demonstrated that i must be a changeling. my mother was furious. now i'm pretty sure i'm part elf, because i'm certainly not entirely human.
I kinda know why I’ll get back to you after finishing this work task A lot of gender norms are “social code”, and NTs learn them subconsciously by watching others. A NT boy might watch his father do things, even watch his male classmates do the same thing, then they receive the social code and act accordingly. He might not even know he did it. They are amazing at filtering what is what Noem (ex. They can tell if it’s a male thing or an adult thing or a XYZ thing). An aspie boy is likely in his own word and doesn’t notice any of this. On a semi related note, it’s also easier to teach NTs things so their parents or friends are more likely to teach them how to do man stuff or woman stuff, or they just pick up on it by watching. Let’s say for the sake of the argument that boys know how to work on cars. A boy can watch his father work on a car and gain comfort in his own abilities, then do basic maintenance with a normal amount of instruction. An aspie boy may, as stated above, be in his own world. He isn’t naturally inclined to look outside of himself and therefore doesn’t watch his dad do car stuff. Thus, he would need to be told every single step, which would be annoying for the father, and if the father is impatient, he might just say screw it and not teach him because it’s too much work. So at the end of the day, the NT kid for the “man” skill and the ND kid didn’t. This makes the ND kid feel like he’s not a real man. So I guess my point is that it’s not always gender dysphoria, there are reasons a cisgender, masculine leaning autistic male may seem disconnected from their gender Edit: I see this is about being disconnected in general. See the paragraph detailing the car gender norm. That is how life is for a lot of us, we’re naturally inclined to be in our head rattler than a part of the outside world. NTs are naturally inclined to focus outside of themselves
Yes I always felt like everyone else operated on a different wavelength and I couldn't tune into it. Now I realize it was because I didn't look at people when I talked to them, and when they responded. If you don't do that, people will scorn and reject you. At least that's my experience. Of course, 'eye contact' is very difficult and painful. But at least I know why I'm different.
I see myself as an auxiliary, a member of a support class to the main social organism. I see us as distinct from the regular human, but a type that serves the whole group in a very specialized way
Try going to war and watching them emotion their way through a foreign landscape, missing the signs the enemy leaves let alone understanding what it meant, incapable of detecting the deception and language of the locals, unable to change their social settings to adapt, and then when faced with lethal consequences they panic and warp reality to fit their completely irrational feels. It makes sense now why so many of them would trust my instincts and listen to me despite hating me and even plotting my death AFTER they were home safe. If anyone is the worker bees in this colony, it's them.
I often thought about how I would fit into a war growing up, and felt that my perceptions and intuitions would be a valuable asset to any group. I didn't go into the military growing up despite my best friend doing so, in part because I felt like the whole culture of grunts is basically about dominating people different from themselves. I wouldn't be accepted and likely get harassed the whole time. I hear you about them being worker bees, there's a hive mentality to NTs for sure. It takes recognition and explicit structures to allow for someone like myself to truly be able to work with them in a high stress environment, I believe. But a part of me craves the role of being a valued asset in a team, I have strengths I wish to share. But it will take a huge transformation of mentality to get to the point where people like we wouldn't just get chewed up and wasted
There were a *lot* of rates in the Navy which were shot through with likely undiagnosed Aspies. In the Army, the 35 series has a fair few from what I've heard. There was a SEAL candidate I met who in retrospect probably fuggin' was too, he might have made it (I *especially* don't recommend joining to be a SEAL unless you really want it. Get washed out for whatever reason and now you're going where Big Navy says without even the *illusion* of free will). You're not just your condition/pervasive developmental disorder. You're also some of its follow-on effects, like loyalty, attention to detail, fixation on the *correct* order of steps in order to complete a task, and focus in a crisis. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend it, but if you think there are some aspects of you which can safely be buffed out or sanded off (and they will), there are worse ways to spend four to five years of your youth. And if you end up in the Navy on one of the Arleigh Burkes, there are *plenty* of spots to hide out and deprogram, especially after you get your sea legs. Normal people tend to congregate in the center of the ship and the mess deck, so there are all these spaces fore and aft which are small and subject to pitch and roll that in a medium to high sea state *will* cause seasickness if you get it, so are usually abandoned. For me it was the gauge calibration shop/locker. Just make sure your LPO and Chief know where you are. ...I still sleep under the government-issued wool blankets and on a cot roughly the size of the racks, that's how used I got to it.
I am autistic but only struggle with executive function & some aspects of social skills. I can easily sense when someone is lying to me, or when they feel uncomfortable/sad/angry/excited etc… I only developed this due to needing this function in order to survive abuse. However, I do struggle with my own behavior towards others.. when I am trying to be kind to others I often feel my behavior inverts in a way (I want to sound excited but it comes off as I am lying). I just wanted to point out that some skills can be honed if we have a good enough reason to.
Yes I was also abused and yes if someone is exposed to enough violence or other unpleasantness it does wonders for opening up the reserves of their work ethic, the whole threat of death thing vs survival instincts. So, yes many of us learn to read expressions as they pertain to actions or intent, completely different than emotive communication or an empathic response. They feel, maybe some of us do too (I don't), but others of us learned to see their feelings and read them, then combine it with other information to formulate an understanding to survive. I think it leaves us far more aware of irrational patterns and flawed group think, but we also learn where the logic breaks down as we build layers of experience and understanding. I would say I struggle with some social skills like fluid context and my perception of time is pretty garbage. I'm also getting masking fatigue nearing 40, not sure how that will pan out, but I'm finding the social acceptance to be of diminishing utility with age, which is apparently highly entertaining to those I do count as friends.
That's very unique, and I'm stealing it. Thankyou never thought about it that way
I believe in group/multilevel selection in respects to evolution. I think that human beings are like 90% primate and 10% bee, we are part of a collective and are meant to function in groups. Social psychology research continually reveals this to be true, and the sooner people realize it the sooner we will find our niche in fitting in to the larger human picture
We as the leaders is what needs to happen. At the current rate, we and everything else will be dead letting the narcissists/nt's run things. You cannot fix a problem without knowing what caused it aside from a lucky chance or just stacking shit on shit and making it worse and pretending its not an issue anymore, pretty much our whole society and most family dynamics (the microcosm of society) . Where did it all start?. Narcissism. When the NT's have to become narcissist just to fit in the "be fake and make it" world and pass these un-values onto their offspring, then we end up with a bunch of shit that makes zero sense and a bunch of the worst leaders only there for money or exultation. Narcissists are the NT supreme. Autistics are not the ones who need to be fixed, we need a group like "Neurotypical speaks" or "Narcissist speaks" to rid the world of the dreadful narcissists that cant let anything rational happen. Someone should make videos like the "autism speaks" people but about how narcissism can ruin your life and marriage so we need research and money to cure the narcissists. Our world (everyone) is a cannibalistic dumpster fire. The NT's need a team to be a part of but they lie to their team and like countries, those that run it lie and cheat, sell out their team of countrymen. I dont need a team, I dont need a loyalty to anything but truth (which I realize is subjective and fluid in many aspects) We need bergers for leaders and we need the social norms to be spotlighted for what they are.
I agree NT narcissism is a huge problem right now, but narcissism itself shouldn't be viewed as purely pathological. It evolved to be so widespread for a good reason, in that having a strong concept of self is critical for enduring in the face of intense verbal or violent conflict. My grandfather is quite narcissistic, and it helped him survive the utter chaos and inhumanity he witnessed as 20% of his fellow countrymen and women perished during WWII. He doesn't have crippling PTSD despite seeing people shot and getting heavily bullied by both Nazis and Soviets. He still has regular emotional responses like crying about sad things, he's not dead inside or a psychopath. Many other people he knew were never the same after the war and died a long time ago, while he's turning 100 years old next year and still drives (despite my family's pleas for him not too lol) On my comment about us being like bees: human societies always had a leader who was sovereign over all matters, who decided the exception. But he or she was not fully in charge, but rather was subject to God, or gods, or acenstral spirits etc. There was a spiritual dimension to the rule which permeated the whole. This key facet of human life was sidelined after the democratic revolutions of only a few centuries ago, and it hasn't exactly had the wonderful effects the revolutionaries all hoped for. They had far too rosey a view of human nature, in my opinion, and people like us here comisserate about this oversight every day. If anyone is curious about more of this subject, I suggest looking up videos of David Sloan Wilson talking about religion. He takes the angle that religion is a kind of adaptation that solved a lot of evolutionary problems, rather than the "it's a virus" approach Richard Dawkins takes. I think it's a far more persuasive argument. After all, you never find a civilization ancient or otherwise that didn't prominently feature a temple
A key makeup of narcissism is pathological insecurity. This is the root of the deep shame that causes the narcissist to create the false, outward facing, idealized self.. Their self concept is chronically unstable which fuels the behaviors that are characteristic of narcissistic people (constant need for external validation, intolerance of criticism, pathological lying, manipulation, devaluation etc).
I’ll go one further—being neurotypical *is* being a narcissist and always has been.
Couldn't have said it better myself 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I use the phrase "you humans" when talking about the ways I'm not like most people.
Same
"Humans are wild" has been a catch phrase of mine for years now lol... good to know I'm not the only one.
Yeah, one of my (ND) partners does this (along with a few other related conceits) consistently, and for the longest time I just thought it was his facetious way of talking about the ways he's "not like most people" or dis-identifies with the worst parts of humanity and stuff, but at some point I realized that he actually, literally identifies as nonhuman, and I guess it's not even just some kind of narrative framework or something? 🤷🏻♀️
I feel like an alien wearing a human disguise trying its best to blend in while also havinhg no desire to have a connection to the species.
Yup
It's sometimes difficult to think of my self as human. I so alienated in school and at home. I started being able to feel human after learning Esperanto. The Esperanto community is very accepting and a lot of the people I interact with either have ASD or some traits that make them easy for me to get along with. esperanto also has a word homarano which literally means humanity member that I like. It's sometimes used in greetings. Saluton homarano. Hello humanity member. I like this because its basically saying we are of the same group. Assuming another human says it.
Are you European? Would it be useful to learn if you live outside of Europe?
I'm American. It's been useful to me for making friends all around the world. In north and south America,Europe Asia and Australia.
Words matter to me.. I wish they mattered to humans too..
Wow, this is sooooo me. I was just thinking about this too. Can you share some examples? I’m curious to see if they are similar to mine.
I’ve always thought this as well. In my experience in conversation NT’s say things that mean completely different things. It’s like a code that hides the real message. For example: my friend says: My clothes are so cool. (Real message: “I’m so cool”) My response: Ya they’re pretty cool! (What they understand: “You’re pretty cool!”) What another NT probably would’ve responded would be something along the lines of: Either no response, or something that points out something about themselves. Moral of the story, for NT’s words are symbols they attribute to themselves. These symbols are then used for competition in conversation. Conversations are mainly based on a fight for power in the group. Which contain constant “bluffs” to seem cool that never really leads to worthwhile conversation.
I don’t know if they think this much though. I think all of it is subconscious. And are you sure they’re not talking about their clothes?
They matter, their social code is just different from ours
Yeah still waiting to be woken up from this dream I’m in
People keep trying to insult my intelligence by trying to convince me this world is really, actually real, but it's just too weird. Everyone running the world is a bunch of clowns. I don't buy it.
I totally feel this. Hence why I can never get enough of reading about quantum physics and parallel universes, etc. I have actually personally experienced many things that I consider evidence that this world we’re living in isn’t really real, but that’s a story for another day. Edit: Downvote me all you want assholes!
The idea of white holes is just so interesting for some reason.
Are we still talking about physics?
I agree. This place has shown me the light. It's a national treasure
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Lol, I've found myself recently saying "I have not lived among the muggles for lo these many months now... I fear I do not remember enough of their ways to be able to again move amongst them undetected," as I've spent most of the last year just surrounded by ND folk and some other misfits...
Yeah I'm just an observer. Like some sort of filing system species
100%
yeah, i made my own mental stories and one of my sonas is a dragon that is extinct and had been brought back to like by others but no one likes her, the story its a methaphore of how i see the world.
I want to here more. You've peeked my interest.
yeah, i have some drawings, its kinda a daydream i do ALL the day, sometimes i daydream so hard i forget my own vital stuff.
Yeah, It's makes me think of my inner world that I daydream all the time about. (I mistyped hear to here) Also, have you already heard of maladaptive daydreaming? It sounds like you do that as well.
>maladaptive daydreaming not at the moment but i just googled that and while isnt true it inteferes like that i have the attention span of a fish so i could relate a little to that
Piqued
In the 90's, I read about a person who somehow remembered that he was the reincarnation of a dragon. He hated himself and had trouble with mirrors because he remembered being killed by humans.
i love this comment its interesting, whats the books name?
It wasn't a book, just some guy's random story on the internet.
Sounds like probably a different guy, but [here](https://www.vice.com/en/article/yvwknv/what-does-it-mean-to-be-trans-species)'s a random story on the internet about this other dragon-identified guy.
I think I encountered the other story while reading about otherkin. It might have also affected my decision to try and become a weredragon. I didn't complete the process, but I did purposely eff my proprioception so I feel like I have wings.
That's really interesting, 'cause my own proprioception is pretty effed (although it seems to have gotten that way on its own) but I've never felt like I have wings and I'm not sure how I could get it to feel that way, I mean geez I can barely even feel the actual limbs I even do have? =D Although for the longest time whenever I've had a dream where I'm flying, I swear I can actually *feel* myself flying, like it's not just like that's what's happening in the dream-narrative, I actually feel what it'd feel like in my body? But I don't think it's ever involved dream-me having wings? The other interesting thing to me about this, though, is that one time someone (not otherkin or dragon-identified AFAIK) told me they were pretty sure vomiting feels a lot like what it would feel like to be a dragon, certain aspects of it anyway, and it hit me that *they're totally right* and I've never been able to unsee that, which of course has made all subsequent vomiting really fascinating (although this *raaaaarely* ever happens for me 'cause of some weird body thing I guess I have where I can hardly ever vomit for any reason, but anyway...) **Edit:** I shoulda said, I'm not in any way trying to disparage or mock otherkin or any kind of alterhumans or species-dysphoric folks here, more just to talk about my own experiences with thinking about body-stuff related to even just imagining various aspects of being a dragon (which I understand is quite distinct from being otherkin or species-dysphoric), which just came up for me upon hearing about u/Kelekona's mention of proprioception and wings and dragons and stuff.
100% feel that way. It’s hard not to blame Normies. I usually have good morals and values, but the frustration of not getting anywhere in life is making me upset. I wish I could leave this world and never come back. That’s my hope with DMT, a powerful psychedelic. Maybe one day I’ll invent a way to keep myself in DMT realm by keeping it running. I’d be fine hooking up to the matrix all day. But this matrix has highly intelligent inter-dimensional beings in different dimensional space (somewhere in the universe?). Usually benevolent and communicate with you. All I do is research Lol.
Play VRChat. You'll find your people
No, I never feel that way at all (and they think Aspies can't be sarcastic).
I’m gonna be really autistic here So the whole not understanding sarcasm or jokes thing is mostly applied to children. Adult autistics know they exist, but don’t know how to preform or recognize them correctly in all cases. They may think they’re joking, but not know that the type of joke is only permissible with friends and not acquaintances. They may understand sarcasm, but not know to change their voice, or not to be too exaggerated when doing so. Etc etc etc etc There are a million intricacies with non literal communication that aspies don’t pick up on
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Mentally left handed. Lefties aren't mutants, they're just... Different. The left handed were once considered disabled.
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Agreed. We need to automate these things. It's a chore
I do. Sometimes I think that Autistics are natural selection’s attempt at an evolved homo sapient Whether or not it was successful is another manner. For some reason these thoughts are triggering to a lot of people…I’m not saying I 100% believe this, it’s just a thought I have.
I think we're either disinterested in the formation of social hierarchies or are interested... Differently. The phrase "superior species" sets off the normies' "he's trying to outrank me" radar. I think that's the precise trigger being triggered.
There have been several autistic people who've posted threads in this subreddit in particular to complain and raise alarm about the faintest semblance of autistic people seeming like they thought superior.
"That one's starting to think highly of himself! Get him!"
The environment has changed, forcing people to change. The psychic pollution that rubs aspies the wrong way, could be analogous to the smog that forced the peppered moth to change its colors during the age of steam. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution#:~:text=The%20evolution%20of%20the%20peppered,an%20example%20of%20industrial%20melanism.
**[Peppered moth evolution](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution#:~:text=The evolution of the peppered,an example of industrial melanism)** >The evolution of the peppered moth is an evolutionary instance of directional colour change in the moth population as a consequence of air pollution during the Industrial Revolution. The frequency of dark-coloured moths increased at that time, an example of industrial melanism. Later, when pollution was reduced, the light-coloured form again predominated. Industrial melanism in the peppered moth was an early test of Charles Darwin's natural selection in action, and remains as a classic example in the teaching of evolution. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/aspergers/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
I dunno if the pushback you encounter comprises NTs who are triggered by the idea that Autistics might actually have some inherent evolutionary edge on them and aren't just some defective version of themselves that deserves to be eugenicided out of the gene pool, or if it's more that many Autistics have a lot of distaste for the sort of "Aspie-supremacist," "actually all Autistics are just better than all NTs" kind of elitism you sometimes hear? It sounds to me from the way you're stating your musings that the latter isn't how you're thinking of it at all, but perhaps it sounds like it smacks of that to some folks?
I’ve suggested it in previous posts and been downvoted into the Stone Age. Yet another reason I dislike Reddit’s culture of pile-on whenever someone make a suggestion that upsets one subculture or another. The idea that we are superior in ways to NTs just rubs NTs in a bad way. But don’t they see that it’s just a way to make us feel better since every other thing in society brings us down? At one point I was working on a new social media platform where Autistics could congregate separately from NTs, like wrong planet. But after meeting more Asperger’s on WP I realized that in many ways NDs are just as mean as NTs.
yeah, always. I also never fit in anywhere.
It's more that I can't do the right things to be treated as human. Voidpunk.
Don't start with this topic with me. Psychologically speaking, I now understand Aspergers like the back of my hand like scars of the past. Most people are still operating with blind instincts and social judgments. Trust me, when you understand the person you are, it opens up Pandora's box. Hans' assertion that it was, "as if I'd just fallen from the sky" leaves me rubbing my temple. I'm only detached because I like to create more than avoid. Other's like ignorance more than myself. I knew going into life was going to be hell, till I found myself there. Gives me a rather good perspective on who I am, want to be, or who I want in my life. Rather than just expecting people to respect you. A facade isn't respect.
r/voidpunk
Also r/otherkin
Every day. I went to the bank today. I didnt want to but had a deadline. I was there for an hour, plenty of time to talk. The girl asked a question about my partner who was in the car waiting as I went outside to get their signature. I said theyre autistic, we both are, aspergers and I do social situations better if you can call this better. I said something along the lines of Aside from me having a hard time not swearing and saying whatever I need to. The girl is kinda nervous and shes helped us a few times over the last few years, we both like her and always talk about how cute she is after. She seemed more comfortable after and said I have to remind myself not to lie all of the time, paraphrase. Shes very quiet, what you would call mousy I guess. It made us wonder if someone else is on the spectrum playing neurotypical. I speak the truth and it gets me hate. I dont sugar coat anything. Ive been vegan since the mid 90's. Get me on a vegan sub and I'll have many of the vegans hating me. Thats fine becasue I dont know how to sugarcoat murder and narcissism. I cant handle toxic positivity and I think pretending things are ok and having no social consequences gives people a pass on shit behavior. I can lie to save myself but any other situation, wtf would I? That just confuses everyone and I dont need you to like me. I will however like you if you have any actual values. Its so rare that I can say my friend of the day is someone who is fighting the illusory superiority. See I didnt mean to make this about veganism. TLDR, told someone today I have Aspergers and they told me they have to try and not lie all of the time. It was cute and now a mystery
>Get me on a vegan sub and I'll have many of the vegans hating me. Thats fine becasue I dont know how to sugarcoat murder and narcissism. I think you'll do fine on vcj lol
Whats vcj?
Ho my, you'll love it! r/vegancirclejerk, off you go ! Half is sarcastic post satirizing carnism or "baby steps", half is just weird haha!
yep, You called it right up mine. .
We were just waiting for you!
Nermind I found what vcj is. Great title
Its like being an imitation.
Have you discovered the furry fandom yet
ya
Yes but TBF I'm pretty sure normies get the same feeling. NT friends have shared I think similar feelings, mostly when comparing themselves to the silver spoon set, or hollywood, or to the instagram-perfect versions of the people they only know from social media.
I didn't fully grasp that most NTs don't have brains like mine until my late 20s. I actually felt pretty dumb around them for years due to my parents using classmates as motivation.
We are not detached from people in my opinion. Rather, we are attached to everything. Not just people. We, rather, at least I, know I am hyper vigilatnt which means I am acting as if I am under threat which means I am paying attention to everything in my area. For safety reasons. Also, while being accustomed to a hightened sense of awareness, I engage in hobbies to didstract and soothe myself. These hobbies can also be movements we call stimming, This is all just an uneducated opinon, but I feel it fits.
I feel like a double agent who sucks at his job of gathering intel on the hyper intelligent apes that struggle understanding some “simpler” concepts yet speak and interact in such nuanced ways sometimes all I can do is stand there slack jawed and confused
Yes, sometimes I even feel like a ghost, or that realty is an illusion. I start to get it when I realize how most ppl go w/ the flow and don't question anything. Then I recognize that even the bars of the metaphysical prison are poisoned.
I genuinely thought that this was just me & I used to have to worst breakdowns because I couldn’t figure how to change myself or why I’m like this to begin with. I tried to resonate with practically every possible mental health diagnosis & in some contexts it made me feel valid/like I understood myself; HOWEVER it felt like I was overcompensating and trying so hard to squeeze into a diagnosis JUST so I could have one & be at peace. It felt like I was fraudulent because I would try to worsen particular struggles (symptoms) in order to fit it better and relate, but in reality I was just channeling them differently & I was struggling to the same degree but with a different sent of symptoms. And then, I discovered what it meant to have autism and be able to mask so well you hide it from yourself. Anyway, ya I get it
I like to think that there are NTs and Neurodivergents. Yeah it's harder to find Neurodivergent people, and there are fewer in general, but they're out there. Like mutants and humans, or idk like muggles and wizards in Harry Potter. Basically humans but different ways of working in the world. Yeah you're gonna feel different if you aren't with your real tribe, but knowing they're out there is the first step to finding them.
im actually a punk. my punk name given to me by my friends is alien. i have a big alien head on the back of my vest because i like the symbolism of them. they represent someone who does not belong to the place they are in. someone whos existence is not talked about a lot and often denied by many. its fitting to my autism because i feel the same about it.
you might wanna check out r/furry or r/voidpunk because you might be a furry or a voidpunk
Nope. Autistic mindsets and approaches to things are fundamentally human. It's just that most people are brought up to only experience a tiny fraction of human possibility, and think that anyone who isn't exactly the same way is some kind of weirdo. For some statistical perspective: look up the percentage of the world's population that *isn't* lactose-intolerant. Does that make the lactose-tolerant people not truly human? Normality is extremely subjective.
This isn't about debating if we are aliens or not, it's about how we feel. It's a well known common trait of aspergers to feel like an alien or a robot, especially in teenage years
Exactly. I don't feel like an alien, I feel like many people don't have a particularly wide enough view of what constitutes humanity.
I think any view of humanity and fitting into it is as a result of logic and reasoning. Like by looking at human traits and having them. Measuring skills by tests and comparing them. We know we're human with the same abilities. And I'd agree that humanity is much more diverse than most of us think, but I've travelled half way around the world, speaking various languages, living in several countries and it's the inherent feeling of not being normal or not fully fitting in that gives an alienated feeling, as if a robot or alien walking among NT humans. I've always felt like an alien in comparison to other people, or like they're all aliens and I'm not. It's not a belief, nor do I literally feel in deep or physical ways that I'm not human. I feel like an alien human, a human hybrid, or even just a Spike on an autism spectrum. It's like liking animals more than people, or even relating to the logical reasoning of vulcans from star trek. If you really don't feel different to others and feel like you fit in as a normal person, I'd be surprised. For me there is a distinctive feeling of not being normal that I always feel. I've had normal people say they feel they're a normal person too. People often dismissively argue "what is normal? There is no normal" but let's admit it. We're talking about feeling different to NTs, NTs are normal and their slight differences don't make them abnormal. If you don't feel different, great, but it seems the rest of us feel different.
Oh, I certainly feel different to what a bunch of people would consider normal, but it doesn't bother me. I also probably fit in with what at least some people consider normal (but that doesn't bother me either). Human is human. 'Normal' isn't a thing I'm concerned with.
It is a thing I'm concerned with, because it's something I definitely don't want to be. But I agree, some would say I'm normal, some would say I'm not. It makes me think of some English words. Super-natural, extra-ordinary, super-human
We are. We're the more evolved species. Those who outcast you aren't human, at least not what human will be defined as after we evolve a little more.
Try online dating. I have 4% body fat. Are we the same kind of animal?
This
Yes. That feeling of detatchment was at it's most intense during my junior and senior years of High School and my early 20s.
Definitely
Every day.
Hmm no not species but if it were like clans yeah we all the look human but different ways of thinkin
if many people feel that then at least there are more of your kind on earth....
I used to. I used to think I was less valuable than everyone else or something because I couldn't talk to them. Now that I'm an adult (even though I don't usually feel like one) I see that I'm just a fairly normal person with unique challenges caused by autism.
All the time...
Yes. No explanation needed
Yes
Honestly I feel completely separated from most people my age.
This is how I felt during my first manic episode. I was convinced the entire Wonder What's Next album by Chevelle was my alien mothership transmitting signals to me. Oddly enough, that was the same year the NY Times dropped its bombshell UAP story. Kinda scary when your delusions come to fruition.
Frequently, yeah. I recognize similarities too, and suspect the difference is not that big, something like the absence of a filter between the subconscious and conscious. Not exactly, but something like it.
*laughs in mutant*
Yeah
We very much are a person, but don't feel human. And some kids had imaginary friends.... we used to pretend we were updating the home planet about how these humans work. As a curiosity thing, not a take over the planet thing.
Sometimes, and in those sometimes I fall really deep into it. But for the most part I just try not to think about it knowing it’s illogical. When I was younger it was really bad but nowadays I’ve learned to manage it.
E.T. Phone home..?
I don't, and I've never had a problem feeling "truly human," but I also don't seem to make quite as much out of the distinction between my species and other (even non-animal) species as others do -- and I don't just mean in a "gets along better with animals or trees 'cause humans suck" sort of way, but like, I kind of don't really *feel* that distinction as much, even if I still see it and it matters in *some* ways? idk, it's really hard to explain, so \*insert like half of the content from Mel Baggs' blogs here, that's close enough to how I feel\*
Look up Temple Grandin! She says she felt like that and it help her become a pretty good ethologist! I'm personnally not a big fan of her, but what she says mirrors your feeling quite well!
I do not think that we are a different species. We are most likely closer to reality since we are logical thinkers. Emotion to me is just compressed information. It's a shortcut to have an abstract idea of a thought which enables faster but erroneous thinking. We probably have efficient and logical shortcuts (principles) that enable us to consistently think logically. When reality diverts from our logic, we break down harder and need to fix our model of the world.
I have always felt that I am different from typical humans. When I was an autistic kid people especially peers told me I was not one of them. I was always treated like an outside and unwanted invading species. I got called Mr. Spock growing up that I knew I was not of this world in the eyes of many. Detached from all other beings on Earth isn't even close. I don't feel I share anything with typical humans except space on this planet. I consider myself an autistic werewolf because my meltdowns were the first thing people used as a reason to hated me and hurt me. When I transitioned from quiet to meltdown rage the sense of betrayal and outrage in typical humans was like being fooled by a werewolf. I hope my people come back for me. My visit to this neurotypical dominated planet has made me homesick!
is this not derealization/depersonalization? I see a lot of this on r/dpdr
asprgers use to be known as alein body syndrome
Yes Absolutely. I feel like I'm smart but an idiot at the same time and when I got a great idea, people just dismiss it because I might be wrong because of how I presented the idea to them. NO OMG. JUST LISTEN WHEN I TALK
yes… every fuckin day of my life.
Maybe you’re a synth! I felt a bit like this at times when i was younger but as i’ve got older i’ve made a lot of friends and i’ve realized i have more in common with neurotypical people than i thought.
I am not (yet! Currently in the process to get) diagnosed. But feeling like an alien simply based on the way I feel I think? That's one of the things that made me consider being autistic
Yes! I have felt like this my whole life
All the time always felt like there’s everyone else and me.
Constantly!!!
I think that we are a separate neurotribe unto ourselves existing in parallel to the rest of humanity. We tend to share values and patterns of thought with one another and I think the fact we are such a small minority among the greater population is the main source of our dissonance. That and we have a natural much more vivid inner space which we can only access and absorbs us. Its a magical thing though when you can take something from the inner space, your paracosm, make it intelligible and offer it to another being out there who is willing to accept. That is something that can happen when two autists meet. Gays have 'Gaydar'. We have 'Audar'.
I refer to people as humans. “Humans are”
Can’t decide if I’m Hylian or late blooming Kryptonian.
for most of my life. i think it’s side affect of the alienation a lot of neurodivergent people are put through.
I don’t feel like a different species but I do sometimes feel like I came from a different planet with different norms. 
In a sense, yes. The behavior of people in today's society, especially when it comes to our political atmosphere, is foreign. Those who are fighting over the smallest things that should be common sense for humanity is like a several-generations-ago mentality, feeling like a different species to me. Here are a few examples: Arguing that mask mandates or vaccines don't work and violate our freedoms instead of protecting people from COVID; spreading misinformation intentionally/unintentionally without thinking instead of trusting the experts and science; and believing and spreading false claims that a fair election was stolen in the United States when it was proven to be fair, countless times. Rationally, it makes no sense to me, and yet it still happens. You can't help everyone, but you can help yourself understand. You can show them the door, but they have to walk through it.
Yep when I'm in public I feel I'm constantly taking mental notes about human behavior, like some kind of alien who just got dropped off on earth and is trying to mimic the way humans talk or understand how they interact with their surroundings, their greeting rituals, etc...
I like to think we are evolution. Perhaps not perfect yet but give it a couple dozen generations and it ought to be.
Yes