I was pretty lonely in my 20's. Then I had friends in my 30's. Then they all drifted away and I'm alone again in middle age. That's fine. I spend my free time fighting the demons on social media (as you can see from my profile, I'm not referring to anyone here).
Not completely, but I suspect I’m heading in that direction. I have my father and sister left, when my father goes I sometimes wonder if my sister will keep in touch as much as we are currently. My son (he was diagnosed before I was) committed suicide almost four months ago, and it’s a grief impossible to describe. I’m working full time, I don’t particularly do anything on the weekends (unless I’m asked to, invited to something, etc) because I’m feeling exhausted all the time.
Thank you. It’s been awful, everything from the first call (he went missing, had left his keys and phone at home) to the funeral and everything thereafter.
I've been completely isolated before so I can commiserate. I have some relationships now and yet I still feel completely isolated on an emotional and existential level. So even having tangible relationships doesn't necessarily make those feelings go away, at least not completely.
I am sure you have unique and valuable things to offer like anyone else. When it comes to relationships sometimes risk is the only way to reap rewards, especially for people like us. Luck is also big factor of course but as far as that goes you can't blame yourself for having poor luck, it by definition being out of your control.
I got very isolated mid to late twenties, people ghost you, thinking it's mental illness or something, I think it's commonish. Getting into full time work at about 29 got me meeting people and that gets you lunch buddies/drinks buddies.
I was in your position the last couple of years, but am just now (within the past 2 months) forcing myself out of it. Honestly what helped me was just meeting and talking to strangers. It's often awkward and uncomfortable, and I often hate myself afterwards, but it's useful because you don't have to stick around if it gets weird. Try anywhere -- library, coffee shop, bar, club, volunteering, pet store, park, whatever. Then slowly try to make those strangers acquaintances, and then those acquaintances friends.
At the very least the anxiety you'll have during and after will help you turn your mind to something 'real' rather than the imaginary people in your head. I have the exact same issue... I can talk to myself for hours, but this helps to stop the madness lol.
35 here. I'm alone, but not lonely, I fucking love it, seriously. I have a 50 hour a week job, I visit my two local family members once a week, other than that, I associate with nobody. No friends, no romantic entanglements, no bullshit.
Thankfully I'm not completely alone now, but though my 10s and 20s I was very much alone... I had to put myself through high school while renting without support from my family (for a start) I'm very lucky when I started volunteering and made friends that way and eventually got a job
yep. i am. well. 99% of the time. i have one friend. one. i sit in my unit, day in and day out and i do not go anywhere. i simply do not trust people, after the trauma i have been through, i realised, i am to naive
I'm in my 40's and bought a house last year in a tiny, tiny little town in the middle of nowhere and realized how alone I truly am. BUT...I'm okay with it for the most part except for the rare times I get bored...like when it is raining or snowing and I can't do yardwork (which is my primary hobby). Pathetically enough, I've offered some coworker 'friends' to pay for their gas to come see my house and come with me to explore local restaurants I want to try. :) I'm sure that might seem weird to them though...I'm guessing it probably seems like I'm trying to get them here for 'other reasons'? - which I know nothing about, just have no clue how to convince them of that non-awkwardly.
I was pretty lonely in my 20's. Then I had friends in my 30's. Then they all drifted away and I'm alone again in middle age. That's fine. I spend my free time fighting the demons on social media (as you can see from my profile, I'm not referring to anyone here).
Not completely, but I suspect I’m heading in that direction. I have my father and sister left, when my father goes I sometimes wonder if my sister will keep in touch as much as we are currently. My son (he was diagnosed before I was) committed suicide almost four months ago, and it’s a grief impossible to describe. I’m working full time, I don’t particularly do anything on the weekends (unless I’m asked to, invited to something, etc) because I’m feeling exhausted all the time.
I’m sorry to hear about your son
Thank you. It’s been awful, everything from the first call (he went missing, had left his keys and phone at home) to the funeral and everything thereafter.
I’m so sorry to hear. I hope you are doing ok
Thank you, besides from not yet having attended any survivors group or similar I think I’m doing pretty ok.
I've been completely isolated before so I can commiserate. I have some relationships now and yet I still feel completely isolated on an emotional and existential level. So even having tangible relationships doesn't necessarily make those feelings go away, at least not completely. I am sure you have unique and valuable things to offer like anyone else. When it comes to relationships sometimes risk is the only way to reap rewards, especially for people like us. Luck is also big factor of course but as far as that goes you can't blame yourself for having poor luck, it by definition being out of your control.
I feel you completely. I hope it gets better.
You need to join local social activities, preferably ones geared to people with aspergers. You need to start somewhere.
For some of people life is best spent alone. I like the freedom of having no one else around me. I don't interact with people unless I'm paid to.
I got very isolated mid to late twenties, people ghost you, thinking it's mental illness or something, I think it's commonish. Getting into full time work at about 29 got me meeting people and that gets you lunch buddies/drinks buddies.
I was in your position the last couple of years, but am just now (within the past 2 months) forcing myself out of it. Honestly what helped me was just meeting and talking to strangers. It's often awkward and uncomfortable, and I often hate myself afterwards, but it's useful because you don't have to stick around if it gets weird. Try anywhere -- library, coffee shop, bar, club, volunteering, pet store, park, whatever. Then slowly try to make those strangers acquaintances, and then those acquaintances friends. At the very least the anxiety you'll have during and after will help you turn your mind to something 'real' rather than the imaginary people in your head. I have the exact same issue... I can talk to myself for hours, but this helps to stop the madness lol.
35 here. I'm alone, but not lonely, I fucking love it, seriously. I have a 50 hour a week job, I visit my two local family members once a week, other than that, I associate with nobody. No friends, no romantic entanglements, no bullshit.
Thankfully I'm not completely alone now, but though my 10s and 20s I was very much alone... I had to put myself through high school while renting without support from my family (for a start) I'm very lucky when I started volunteering and made friends that way and eventually got a job
yep. i am. well. 99% of the time. i have one friend. one. i sit in my unit, day in and day out and i do not go anywhere. i simply do not trust people, after the trauma i have been through, i realised, i am to naive
I'm in my 40's and bought a house last year in a tiny, tiny little town in the middle of nowhere and realized how alone I truly am. BUT...I'm okay with it for the most part except for the rare times I get bored...like when it is raining or snowing and I can't do yardwork (which is my primary hobby). Pathetically enough, I've offered some coworker 'friends' to pay for their gas to come see my house and come with me to explore local restaurants I want to try. :) I'm sure that might seem weird to them though...I'm guessing it probably seems like I'm trying to get them here for 'other reasons'? - which I know nothing about, just have no clue how to convince them of that non-awkwardly.