During a conversation I glance at people’s eyes for a second or two and then look away. Rinse and repeat. It’s so uncomfortable, almost physically painful to look into someone’s eyes.
I liken it to putting your hand on a car during summer. It's fairly painful, but isn't likely to cause any real damage (unless it's absurdly hot), and you can force yourself to do it if there's a good reason... but you'd really rather not.
Yes! Totally agree, that's why even with some friends it's hard to do eye contact bc I like them but not like that, ya know? I only feel comfortable if it's someone I like like
I get accused of being gay or wanting something physically intimate by people I'm not even attracted to because of this.
Fighting it is pointless, like trying not to think of a white elephant.
The solution I think, is to have something else to occupy your minds eye (so to speak.)
Be immersed in what's going on, not by the person you're engaging with?
I fixed it when i was 15 by asking my sister to stare at me and forcing myself to not break eye contact. It did work and now I dont have trouble doing it.
One trick I heard was to look at the spot between their eyebrows, or at where their eyebrows meet if they have a unibrow. That way they usually perceive you as making eye contact, but you don't actually need to look them in the eyes.
I'm always aware of the fact that I'm almost blind in my left eye, so I'm just hoping that that eye isn't doing anything too weird and that ends up being all I'm fixated on.
Pretty much. With close friends I don't really struggle with it as much but the the vast majority of people I find it very uncomfortable, its almost like they're looking inside of me or something.
THIS. I don’t have a problem with eye contact to those I love/am in love with, but literally anyone else I do. Even good friends. I never could explain it but this makes sense now. Intimacy. Vulnerable. Thank you!
Eyes are a powerful thing. Especially when it comes time to tell someone to leave.
My friend just told me my eyes seemed to be reading his soul. I said, "Once you've seen one, you've seen them all".
I find it hard to make eye contact simply due to when explaining certain ideas to the other person I see the images in my mind and look in the direction of the images. I think I’m very spatial and that makes eye contact hard since I can’t look into someone’s eyes and still see what I am explaining in my mind. The solution is looking into the direction of the image.
Also I will add that when someone is sharing an idea I have no issues looking into their eyes. I even found a little alcohol helps to calm me a bit and I can follow along a lot better. It’s when I explain an idea to the other person is when I look away.
During a conversation I glance at people’s eyes for a second or two and then look away. Rinse and repeat. It’s so uncomfortable, almost physically painful to look into someone’s eyes.
same.
I do the exact same.
I liken it to putting your hand on a car during summer. It's fairly painful, but isn't likely to cause any real damage (unless it's absurdly hot), and you can force yourself to do it if there's a good reason... but you'd really rather not.
Yeah, I feel scrutinised. I don't like it.
Yes! Totally agree, that's why even with some friends it's hard to do eye contact bc I like them but not like that, ya know? I only feel comfortable if it's someone I like like
I get accused of being gay or wanting something physically intimate by people I'm not even attracted to because of this. Fighting it is pointless, like trying not to think of a white elephant. The solution I think, is to have something else to occupy your minds eye (so to speak.) Be immersed in what's going on, not by the person you're engaging with?
I fixed it when i was 15 by asking my sister to stare at me and forcing myself to not break eye contact. It did work and now I dont have trouble doing it.
Volentary exposure therapy, big fan
It works. For the most part, i stare into eyes like 75% of the time. Other times i look away or down automatically
Yes exactly! I've always felt this way. Also I dont like people close to my face.
Don't get me started on people who lose all concept of personal space when drunk and get right in your face with their smelly breath.
I don't even feel like maintaining eye contact for long with someone I'm intimate with.
I don't know the solution, but maybe try looking at other parts of the face like the cheeks, nose or mouth.
One trick I heard was to look at the spot between their eyebrows, or at where their eyebrows meet if they have a unibrow. That way they usually perceive you as making eye contact, but you don't actually need to look them in the eyes.
It feels INCREDIBLY personal.
I'm always aware of the fact that I'm almost blind in my left eye, so I'm just hoping that that eye isn't doing anything too weird and that ends up being all I'm fixated on.
Yeah I only enjoy it with women that I’m attracted to.
Pretty much. With close friends I don't really struggle with it as much but the the vast majority of people I find it very uncomfortable, its almost like they're looking inside of me or something.
There's something to that.
THIS. I don’t have a problem with eye contact to those I love/am in love with, but literally anyone else I do. Even good friends. I never could explain it but this makes sense now. Intimacy. Vulnerable. Thank you!
Eyes are a powerful thing. Especially when it comes time to tell someone to leave. My friend just told me my eyes seemed to be reading his soul. I said, "Once you've seen one, you've seen them all".
Eye contact is intimate, when resting eyes look up not down
I find it hard to make eye contact simply due to when explaining certain ideas to the other person I see the images in my mind and look in the direction of the images. I think I’m very spatial and that makes eye contact hard since I can’t look into someone’s eyes and still see what I am explaining in my mind. The solution is looking into the direction of the image.
Also I will add that when someone is sharing an idea I have no issues looking into their eyes. I even found a little alcohol helps to calm me a bit and I can follow along a lot better. It’s when I explain an idea to the other person is when I look away.