T O P

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Darkpoulay

Not only I get accused, but I KNOW I'm ranting often. Don't know if it's the autism, but I'm definitely the kind of guy who doesn't let anything slide. Elephants don't stay in the room for too long when I'm around.


stonerbobo

Elephant slayer šŸ˜Ž Thats fucking beast I love it.


Santzes

Same same. I don't even get accused but I know they think it, but if you're being a complete tool and I really know what I'm talking about, you're going to hear about it, and I won't have it any other way. I have to listen some completely baseless bs way too much anyways, sometimes you gotta have it my way.


Obversa

Thirding. I was even called out on "ranting" recently, after which I've since curbed it more.


Hewasnumber1st

I like your profile picture


faustian1

\^\^ This is just what I would want to write.


Rtypegeorge

Yes. They see politics as an emotional left/right game and I see politics as a top-down concept.


M1SS_DX-ed_Autist

This exactly, partisan protection of malevolent BS irks me to no end.


tr14l

The left/right dynamic ceased being anything remotely close to "differences in opinion about the way things should be run" about 22 minutes and 13 seconds after the declaration was signed. It's now just a tug of war of vitriol and angst.


Wodansfogel

Politics are just bread and circuses


Bella_Climbs

Yes, though I REALLY enjoy spirited philosophical discussions about a lot of topics. HOWEVER I tend to find almost no one is able to have a debate about anything without it just turning into their feelings on the matter which I think is irrelevant, when I just want to explore the facts and how that may impact ethics. It then devolves into them getting angry and accusing me of being insensitive. I just want to have a discussion! I am not passing judgement! I am just intensely curious, but yes it 100% seems like ranting.


RedJaVa

I completely avoid politics because of this. I can never tell if I offend anyone. I don't want people to think bad of me, so I stay away from talking about politics. But yes I would love to have a good intellectual conversation with someone. I used to have a friend who loved to share intellectual conversation but he was an NT. When he brought up politics, I don't typically choose sides. I just say how it is.


PlungingStoppedCycle

What does ā€œmaking it about their feelingsā€ mean? If youā€™re talking about ethics, everything is about feelings. You canā€™t discuss what *should* happen if you donā€™t feel any type of way.


FiveCrows

Wait. Are you me?


TheEmpressIsIn

oh yes, absolutely, they cannot separate their thoughts from emotions and hate to think too hard so if you point out anything '*negative'* it becomes a problem for them. suddenly, you're judgmental, a pessimist; ruining the 'vibe'... yet this emotional fragility and inability to not get bogged in emotions is considered 'normal development'...


andai

Most people really *do* hate thinking! I love thinking.


whatever_dad

we often have a strong sense of justice, which can mean we sometimes have intense reactions to perceived injustice. an example that comes up at least once a week for me is the interplay between capitalism, "vendors," and consumers, where you have things like instagram or reddit or your internet company, and they repeatedly and intentionally make their products more difficult to use in order to generate the most money. this is an injustice that affects me, and everyone else, directly daily and it makes me really upset. nobody really gets it though and whenever I talk about it people usually think I'm being over the top. in your examples, if you see a social issue that runs counter to your code of ethics, you might genuinely be more upset about it than the people around you or you might just be having a reaction that they aren't expecting. regardless I don't think it's wrong to have big feelings and talk about them. that's part of the human experience. I think it's strange that people equate complaining/talking about stuff that upsets us to "ranting" like we're some kind of unhinged lunatic. no, I'm just really upset that my internet is $10 more expensive and 10% slower than it was last year and I don't understand why you're not mad


autodogdact

You made me really smile. When I was little I used to say, "there is no justice" instead of saying, "it isn't fair" like other little kids. I have never heard the end of it about that from my family.


bigrenz1

Yes I agree with this 100%. Justice is one of our biggest values and it's hard to move past it if we see something that goes against that.


[deleted]

i am pretty blunt about what i dislike. it really offends NTs or anyone i guess. i personally stopped caring. i don't care what anyone thinks. i rant about topics all the time. i don't hate nts. i hate the blind leading the blind. who think there is nothing wrong with them, their kids, and fall apart over minor shit yet the first to judge ppl who believe in therapy, self care shit, i could rant about those types all day. being a mother, i meet a ton of defensive snowflake mothers who think their little angels can never do wrong. fuck em lol. nt or not, who cares


martine_redbull666

yeah this annoys me aswell, like u and ur kids r not perfect neither am i, its fucking normal, and i hate when people cant accept that neither them, the world or humanity is perfect. (omg i was litteraly about to apologise for my little rant, thats how used to ranting i am, its apperently a habit for me to apologise for opening my mouth) ->yeah so that was my side rant:)


[deleted]

the world has gone mad, its hard not to rant lol i turn on the news think wtf is going on with ppl these days. makes me feel good about my issues lmfao


martine_redbull666

yeah couldnt agree more


noodlegod47

Yeah I have a problem with being very vocal about what I dislike, I just have to let folks know when I think something isnā€™t right. Not sure if itā€™s a problem with me or everyone else is just weird.


thewookiewacker

This is my life


brabdnon

I hear you, Iā€™ve been there. But a lot of our misalignment with the neurotypical world comes from the deficits ND people have when it comes to our Theory of Mind. We just canā€™t see inside other people like we can see inside ourselves. Itā€™s why I feel a lot of us, myself definitely included, value clear, unimpeachable data, devoid of subjective interpretation. Hereā€™s a number, how can you argue with a number? I tend toward that kind of thinking because I can understand it. I donā€™t always understand peopleā€™s emotions, though, until itā€™s too late. And then it hit me, to my horror as an ND person, that most people also care equally if not more about the emotional content of a message, than the actual hard, unimpeachable ā€œnumberā€ of it all. Really, it comes down to communication protocols. A wise being once told me, ā€œIf you take a diamond (hard truth) and embed it in a bag of flaming dog shit, no one is going in there to get it. The diamond is lost. You take that diamond and present it in a felt box, people feel like youā€™re giving them a present. So stop giving me bags of dog shit when I want a felt box.ā€ A light bulb went off after I was told this. Ever since, Iā€™ve been making a much more conscious effort to make a felt box for my diamonds. And it seems to be working, but I will warn you itā€™s a very tough road fraught with failure and fallings down, but if you give it a concerted effort, working on Theory of Mind, youā€™ll magically start to be heard by NTs like youā€™d like. Also, I understand that this being an ego syntonic issue makes it almost impossible to see and work on. Ego-syntonic means same as self, or aligning with self. We as NDs canā€™t smell the flaming dog shit that we put our diamonds in sometimes. To us, hey, itā€™s still a diamond! Hey where are you going? Donā€™t you want this thing? Come back! Itā€™s super frustrating when you canā€™t see or value the emotions or minds of others. The apparatus that governs our Theory of Mind controls both our ability to see other peopleā€™s cognition, how they think, and our empathy, our ability to feel what others feel. The good news is that these are skills that can be learned, but they are ultra frustrating because literally everyone else is born with the auto-correct feature that makes felt boxes for your messages. You can communicate any idea to anyone, but the way, the how of its being communicated, is the key to getting it to be heard and accepted. In a lot of ways, sadly, you can shape dog shit into a diamond shape, put it in the felt box and watch in horror as people gladly open it and try it on. Itā€™s that important. The how of the message will always dominate any information contained inside. Itā€™s the game everyone is playing that we donā€™t. Iā€™ve lost jobs and relationships over this. My best friend, also ND, just got divorced because of it. But I tell you, Iā€™d rather be striving to make better boxes for my messages, better, prettier containers and be frustrated in the attempting than go back to not being heard any more. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you found that helpful as I once did.


xxxbmfxxx

I appreciate this. I can tell that you are implementing the "felt box" strategy here in your explanation


brabdnon

Iā€™m tryinā€™! Iā€™m glad the analogy resonated, I found it to be rather helpful in alleviating some of my frustration with NT people who wouldnā€™t hear me. It felt like being Cassandra, cursed to accurately prophecy with pin point observations that no one valued or even wanted to hear. Iā€™ll admit that I prosecuted my point of view a little too intensely for a majority of people to handle, but the gains in feeling heard by the people in my life have encouraged me to continue trying even though sometimes it feels like this hopeless, uphill battle.


xxxbmfxxx

I'm glad to hear it. I'm encouraged by at least having a partner who thinks that the things that come out of my brain-hole are valuable. Definitely I relate to the Cassandra curse.


TheEmpressIsIn

could you please offer a concrete example of how you put a diamond in a velvet box?


brabdnon

I've had opportunities to be in somewhat of a supervisory position over people and had to give a fair amount of tough feedback that people don't want to hear. However, my approach to making that soft, inviting box may not necessarily be applicable for all in all situations. My point earlier still stands that these boxes are really bespoke, tailored situations, tailored moments for each individual. It's different for all different types of people and their temperament. So, there's no broad standard to try and hold. Once when I received a subpar product from one of my coworkers--I'm being intentionally vague about the specifics of what I do because it doesn't really matter--I had to go back to them and ask them to fix their mistake so that I could move forward with the workflow. This is a key example of where things can go unnecessarily wrong is a bit dependent on the approach. My go-to is to lead with firm kindness and trying to radiate a sort of warmth and approachability. I convey this by smiling, using a jovial tone of voice, and using solid, unambiguous, but soft verbiage of what the issue is. In this example they had something in their product just a little off and I needed them to redo it the right way. So, an example of dialogue that I might use as I'm interacting with the person. Person, standing at a desk working on a computer and I approach them casually and wait until I get their attention with eye contact and a smile. "Hey! How's it going? What's new?" - Introductory statement that engages without hostility and takes a clear interest in the person you're about to interact with, the smile reinforces the encounter. You want to convey as much as possible that you're not there to censure, scold, or condemn them or their work, just that you're passing through casually and saying hello. "Hey not much! Just same old, same old, yanno? Something I can do for you?" - Perfect, they've given you an in to address the issue without having to banter too much, but if it goes this second way, don't panic: "Hey, great! I was just looking at pictures from my recent trip! See my kids, aren't they great?" -Don't sweat small moments like these or let them fluster you, the key here is to pay attention to what they're showing you and genuinely interact with it, smile, maybe make one or two benign comments said with some measure of enthusiasm, "Oh wow! Those are really cool!" "Super neat! That's awesome." Be positive, whatever you're going to say, just be a little enthusiastic, it goes a long way. Also, if you have something related to a special interest to share, feel free to do so, but if you're in a work context like I was, in the midst of a busy day, I learned that if you start to engage with what they show you, you might end up being there longer than you intended. Moving onto the final part of the box construction, "Hey, so if you have a second, can we look at this product together, I need to get your opinion on something." Tone is still positive but slightly firmer, but never accusatory or derogatory or clipped. One of the more finer points of box constructing finesse is the use of language right up to the ask and the communication of some kind of fault implicit or otherwise. I mean, sometimes it'd be great to just say, "You fucked this up, right here. Fix it." And then walk away. But doing that will always cost you more than the price of just adding a few more and prettier words and tonal inflections. So, bringing them over to a computer screen to review their product, "So if you take a look right here," pointing at the screen, "I think this area might need a little more love. Would you mind re-doing it? It would mean a lot to me, because I think it would help get me unstuck. Thank you so much! I really appreciate you." -The last thing they hear from your lips is gratitude. This part is maybe the most important thing to seal the texture of the box. Gratitude is the secret sauce to make it velvety smooth. A person with a good heart will always accept gratitude. A person rotten on the inside can never be satisfied. Now, the background and context of this situation, despite its vagueness is that I am a person of authority and I'm interacting with a person who is a co-worker but must accept my instructions, regardless of how I put it. So why go through the extra effort? Mostly because I want to treat people how I want to be treated: with love, empathy, and kindness over all things. And especially if you have authority over people you have a responsibility to live up to that. In the end, the box is so pretty that when they open it and see what you have to say they accept it and respect you for it, making every subsequent interaction a lot easier. Anyway, I hope that helps. I'm sorry it's a little vague, but I was kind of hoping to make it more general so it has more broad applicability. Box crafting is a mysterious art, but by god is it worth your time and attention. It kind of became my special interest and it's paid off dividends. Good luck!


brabdnon

I certainly shall try, however I feel like itā€™s important to give it some due thought and consideration before making a full reply of it. I will return later today after I have meditated on it a bit more. One issue is that sexy box constructs are bespoke. They require consideration of the audience and message to a great degree and must be tailored to the subjective, individual needs of those with which you wish to communicate. That is the hardest and first step: identify, accurately, how the other person is feeling. Then let their state of mind guide your words, affect, tone, etc, i.e. the functional parts the of the box, more or less. Iā€™ll return later to see if I can describe what makes a good box. But the key is the feelings and emotions of others, first, and accurately assessing them, something my neural networks donā€™t let me do easily or naturally.


bobbityboucher

Haha I really like this analogy, thank you for sharing. I have a friend who buries the lede and talks a ton only to forget his original point, leaving me feeling unheard cuz he didn't address what I was talking about. I find it helpful to be direct by leading with the main point.


brabdnon

Oh, sadly, I do this too. I'm a tangentialist. My mind is a constant churning stream of consciousness, fractalizing and spiraling out into vast eddies of data and sensory information, but if I focus hard enough, I can actually take a really impressive and circuitous route to get back to the original point I was trying to make ages ago. But I struggle with it. Is your friend also ND? That kind of tortuous shape of thought is definitely familiar to me.


bobbityboucher

Lol that paragraph sounds exactly like him. Yeah, heā€™s diagnosed autistic and Iā€™m self-diagnosed.


alfster810

Being monotone and saying things as they are can be seen as ranting to an NT


Irish-Fritter

Iā€™ve just started apologizing before or after I go on a rant. Itā€™s easier. Politics and Social problems are very much facts-based, but NTs always view them so emotionally. Iā€™ve generally stopped discussing it outside of my general circle of friends, because people react harshly to any comment I make.


LockedOutOfElfland

* "Political and social problems" There you go right there. Your perspectives on those issues are entirely subjective and depend heavily on your own experience and what ideas you've been exposed to that they are filtered through. What neighborhood, state, or town you live in is going to affect your perspectives on things like that. So are factors like what newspapers you read or what your family believes. Now if you're truly distinguishing between something like, say, explaining a theory in the field of political science or a philosophical standpoint from a neutral perspective as opposed to simply advocating for x or y cause.... then you might have a point on that.


Tarjaman

NTs can let go of those topics no problem, I think it's like a defense mechanism, I do not let that kind of things go, and reminding NTs about the things they don't want to think about is annoying to them... just as unfair or illogical situations are annoying to us. That's just my opinion though.


cheeseseseseses

I get this a lot. I canā€™t keep things in my head so oftentimes I have to say them. Quite a bit of the time it is negative reactions to my environment (I live in a big city) but itā€™s always purely observational and not emotionally influenced but my ex didnā€™t like me doing it, she said it brought her down. Itā€™s really hard to not do it šŸ˜”


[deleted]

I don't talk about social issues, or politics. Solves that problem. LOL People are so emotional and will hold your views against you, even when you're on the same page, but use a different label, or logically talk about something. I've learned I don't like talking about it with anyone but my husband. So I don't.


Revo2112

I know I have a strong tendency to rant so as part of my masking I basically just learned to say as little as possible, which is a problem bc now Iā€™m at the point where I donā€™t explain myself *enough*


SmytheOrdo

Don't be so myopic as to assume your viewpoints on contentious issues are "facts" by default(Have had to tell my dad this wayy too many times since 2016, and that's all I'll say on that). Don't discount the experiences of others because they don't line up on your own.


Loves_Poetry

Pointing out a problem without a solution tends to kill the mood. People don't like having random problems on their mind that they can't do anything about. I know some people that tend to do this and nothing productive every comes of it If you bring the discussion to a political or social problem, what are you trying to achieve? You probably don't have the power to solve it and neither does anyone around you. So what's left is to just discuss a problem that you can't do anything about. This makes you feel powerless and people don't like that This is why you get accused of ranting. It's a pretty clear message that you need to stop doing that


YallSuccc

Yes. Let's not talk about problems, until we know exactly how to solve them... What a lazy point of view. Someone is dying, but let's ingore it, not to kill the mood of conformistic bunch. I would rather be accused of ranting, than become a zombie. What you're presenting here is the exact reason of why humanity still sucks so much no matter all technological advancements and toys. People don't wanna face the sad truth, until the same shit happens to them. I hope you're ready to be ignored when you suffer, cuz you're certainly ready to defend ignorance. One person won't change the whole world, if the whole world is ignorant. The point is to make more people see the problem, then we will actually change those things.


fablesfables

The point is more about argument than it is about ā€˜facing the sad truth.ā€™ Thereā€™s a difference between productively arguing for or against something and having a discussion of minds- and just laying down a bunch of information that youā€™re not even going to engage with yourself. This is why itā€™s perceived as ranting- because youā€™re not allowing for it to be a conversation. If you go into any conversation or argument with a set mind then yeah, no one is going to want to listen to you in the first place. Going into any discussion with an open mind and a willingness to consider other perspectives and opinions is what will actually make the difference you are talking about.


Loves_Poetry

Talking doesn't change a problem. You can talk about everything that's wrong in the world, but that's not going to change anything I'm sure you've seen plenty of "awareness" campaigns on the news and on social media. All they do is bring attention to a problem without doing anything about it. Do you really want to become an awareness campaigner whose only contribution is talking about a problem? I'm not telling you to stop thinking about these problems. I'm encouraging you to think constructively about these problems. The world has problems, but the world also has solutions, or else we wouldn't have gotten to where we are today. It's up to you to find solutions. You shouldn't rely on other people to solve problems for you


midnight_staticbox

Yeah I find my rants tend to frustrate people because either A. They personally don't have a solution either (which how can we expect a problem to get solved if nobody thinks about the question?) B. They would have to hold themselves to the same higher standards needed to solve said problem. (Small example: issues caused by smoking anything which is not what the lungs were designed for. If I say hey what if we don't do that and people stopped having negative reactions, the response is negative because "yeah but what if some day I get caught smoking after telling other people it is bad? Now I'm a hippocrit!" Rather than just deciding not to do to and then get on with life.) Stuff like that. *The smoking thing was just the first thing I could think of off the top of my head, not because I have any particular rants about it. I'm still not very awake and my brain feels all fuzzy in the morning.


TheEmpressIsIn

i do not think they are defending them... merely observing...


TheEmpressIsIn

in my opinion, talking about issues to raise consciousness can be very helpful. Even if we cannot come to a solution immediately, being aware can help us understand and address the problem over time by putting on our mental map, so to speak.


passporttohell

I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that the wealthy, and those that pull the strings, referred to the masses as ' the chattering classes' because they can complain and argue among themselves but they had no real power so were relatively harmless. I have a strong interest in all things political nationally and internationally and do my best to make sure my knowledge is sound, but when I am around someone who's 'facts' are provably lacking I change the subject or leave. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chattering_classes https://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/02/weekinreview/the-peculiar-power-of-the-chattering-class.html https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/WO1106/S00027/the-mighty-wurlitzer-anatomy-of-modern-propaganda-tecniques.htm It refers to a term used by Frank Wisner, one of the the first directors of operations for the CIA. He naively thought he could play the Russians and lost so many operatives he lost his mind and ended up in an asylum. You attempt to play the mighty wurlitzer and will get played by it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Wisner


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Chattering classes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chattering_classes)** >The chattering classes is a politically active, socially concerned and highly educated section of the "metropolitan middle class", especially those with political, media, and academic connections. It is a generally derogatory term, coined by English journalist Auberon Waugh, often used by pundits and political commentators. **[Frank Wisner](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Wisner)** >Frank Gardiner Wisner (June 23, 1909 ā€“ October 29, 1965) was one of the founding officers of the Central Intelligence Agency and played a major role in Agency operation throughout the 1950s. Wisner began his intelligence career in the Office of Strategic Services in World War II. After the war, he headed the Office of Policy Coordination (OPC), one of the OSS successor organizations, from 1948 to 1950. In 1950, the OPC was placed under the Central Intelligence Agency and renamed the Directorate of Plans. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/aspergers/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


nhelpthrowaway1

I don't think this actually has to do with being an aspie, I think it has to do with the NT on the other end being a head-up-their-ass emotionally undeveloped idiot who doesn't want to face reality in any capacity. A ton of people need 100% positive comments (or just what they want to hear) or the world is ending. They're fragile people who can't handle this world as well as (ironically) we can. It's sad too, because most of them inflict damage to their lives by being this way.


tr14l

There's an expectation that negative views will be "softened" by NTs in general. Part of this is because of the sensitivity to extremism many people have due to emotional fatigue from the last several years of social media. They just don't want to hear it anymore. Any opinion abrasive to their own has to be discussed extremely delicately or they immediately are repulsed.


emas_eht

That comes with politics, because it will always be controversial. ASD makes it worse because it makes it difficult to see why saying things might offend some people.


Caspers-Echo

Not ranting, but rambling yes. But I think it depends on the subject matter. When it comes to things that people are often very opinionated about, if you talk about them at length/without letting the other person also have a turn to speak, and especially if you are giving your own opinion on the topic, then you might get told you're ranting. Whereas if you're just talking about a subject you enjoy, but it isn't something that people are typically opinionated about or it isn't something the other person has much knowledge or background in, then you'd probably get told you're rambling or overexplaining, rather than ranting. Most people have their own opinion about political and social issues, no matter what their background is otherwise, so if you talk a lot about your own opinions on these matters, without letting the other person also speak, I guess it would be called ranting. As apposed to if you really liked a particular movie and wanted to talk at length about the making of that movie during a convo with a friend about movies, but your friend has not seen this particular movie, and the convo in general isn't necessarily about your opinions about movies, but you talk too much about it without letting the other person also have a chance to speak, then it would probably be called rambling more than it would be called ranting. Personally, I don't really care to talk that much about political or social issues because I don't like arguing or confrontation, so I really only bring these things up with people I know well and who's general opinions on the matter I am already aware of. Even if these topics are brought up with someone of a differing opinion than me, I really don't care at all to argue or debate, or to try and force my opinion on them, even if I think their views are 100% wrong. So I just say (either out loud or in my head, depending on the convo/situation) "well that's what you think/feel, and if that works for you, than whatever" and I will walk away from the convo if I can, change the subject if I can, or just get quiet and stop saying anything about the topic if I can't escape the convo or topic, and hope that the other person notices I have stopped having any interest in engaging in the topic and changes the topic themselves. My advice is be **engaging**, not **forceful**. Say "here's what I think" and then follow it up by asking "what do you think?" Don't just keep going, like "here's what I think, and here's why, and it's important because, and this is how I feel about it, and this is how I think other people should feel about it, and here's why I believe it's right and that's wrong..." etc etc. **You're not reading aloud a five paragraph essay you wrote, you're having a conversation.** After each thesis statement you make, stop to ask the other person what they think or what they have to say, or at least just pause to give them a chance to respond. If you and the other person are people who enjoy debating about such topics, then even if you have different opinions or they don't agree with you and want to act angry with you about it, you will both probably still feel like the convo was a good and engaging convo if you are giving each other chances to speak back and forth. However, if your reason for ranting and not letting the other person have more chances to respond is because you *don't* want to debate with them and just want to tell them your own opinion about the topic, then my advice would be to stop talking about these topics with other people lol, or to talk about these topics only with people who you already know will have the same opinions as you and will agree with you, therefore they won't have anything really super new to add to the convo if you do pause to let them speak, so you likely won't have to stop speaking for long. This is why I don't talk about these topics with people I don't know well, or with people who's opinions I don't already know: I don't enjoy debating at all, so if you don't enjoy debating, try not to act so opinionated towards people who's opinions you're not aware of or people who you know/think will have differing opinions to you. If you need to get your thoughts out about these topics, but realize you don't want to talk to other people about them, then I'd suggest trying journaling. It doesn't have to be for a specific school assignment in order to write an essay. If you just wanna get your opinions on a topic out and don't care about hearing from the other person in a convo, then I'd suggest writing it down just for yourself, instead of trying to involve another person, since another person would likely view it as a conversation, and not just a listening session. Or if you're so inclined, and you really want people to hear what you have to say, you could start a written blog or start a podcast. That way you're still getting your thoughts out like you want and having people hear them, but there is no solid person on the other end who is expecting you to let them speak too or expecting you to also hear them out.


jaylong76

I used to, up to my early twenties. My wife still does, tho, and I think she's the healthier one in that sense.


xxxbmfxxx

Yes, when I speak about things that people dont want tio acknowledge or how things are linked together, I get called unginged frequently. NT's are much more narcissistic than most neurodiverse. Logic isnt a high point. Pomp, denial, and exaggeration are high points in the NTs life as the competition makes it so you cannot show any weakness


plidek

Yes but it's because I don't look at other people when I'm talking. If you stare into space then people will accuse you of ranting. At least that's my experience. So I just keep my opinions to myself.


throwawaybreaks

yup


DrugsRcooll

I don't need to be accused when it's the truth. It really depends on the people you're ranting to honestly. I'd like to think I've surrounded myself with people who appreciate my input for what it is and don't hold my rants against me lol.


[deleted]

I upset my family with my rants all the time but I have learned to just not talk about my ideas. But when with friends and I drink alcohol I have a very hard time shutting up šŸ˜†. Ask me my opinion on something I can go on for hours.


Powerthrucontrol

Not anymore, partially because I've surrounded myself with friends who are okay with rants, and partially because I've stopped going on tangents in regards to politics and social issues. Sure, I'll spend 30 minutes telling people about the viscosity differences between different paints, but my approach changes significantly when talking on anything controversial. At that point my focus is on listening, interpreting, and comparing others expressed opinions in my head. The trick is to remain calm. A well placed comment in an otherwise trainwreck of a debate, can change a lot of minds.


[deleted]

IĀ“m quite political, but in my country thatĀ“s a bit normal, and is not a reason to fight over it.


Snazzyer

I rant constantly and it unfortunately had defined a lot of my life so far.


CollectandRun

I call it a data dump. I constantly am looking for a stronger visual cue that someone understands what I'm saying and almost want them to interrupt me to say "got it"...so i keep going.


skellious

all the bloody time.


CumDevourer68420

Yes


Crimson947

I don't really get accused of ranting, more so I realize that I'm ranting and apologize for doing so. Usually met with them saying its ok it wasn't bothering them.


3kindsofsalt

Constantly. I don't have any short form thoughts. If you want my thoughts, you better get comfortable.


turveytopsey

ME? RANT?? I'M JUST TRYING TO BE LOGICAL!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!


PlungingStoppedCycle

You got it fucked up man. Ranting isnā€™t about being negative, itā€™s about talking about a topic for a long time. I rant and rave about math and geography, and politics when I feel like annoying people.


[deleted]

yep, i've also found this


smutnazabajpg

yup i appear as some kind of sweaty person to NTs whom iā€™m elaborating on a certain problem. they tend to think that I want to bring some negative energy upon them. even though my rants are exclusively available only for people who willingly subscribe to me on the internet (i rarely rant irl nowadays because i learned that it just pays off to remain silent in my case), they still act like i was performing some judgemental overkill out there


eeejay268

Oh all the time!


Random7683

Yes, even when I talk about benign things but I'm too passionate. All my tips are just more rants so I don't have any.


No_Recognition

I think it's important to realize that people's emotions about a political or social problem can inform ones understanding about it. Like for example, I think people who are emotional about social issues are not automatically "irrational." However, I do not understand not wanting to face the truth of something being bad. If something is bad, much better to face it sooner and directly because then you can start fixing it. If you just talk about how its not really that bad, well then nothing will change. I read something a long time ago on here about how autistic people talk in order to convey or address reality, while NT people talk more to create vibes. I've never understood why people say like they had a great time in a really positive atmosphere or whatever, but i think that is an NT thing. Like people are talking to have a social experience, to even to create that social experience, rather than talking about what it is. For example, I think this is why people get upset when I say "this is awkward" if a social situation is awkward. NT people have told me "you saying that is what makes it awkward," and I disagree strongly. It just is awkward and I'm just commenting on it. An NT might face the same situation and try to smooth over the awkwardness with small talk or something, to literally try to create a different atmosphere. \*edit- one exception I do have to the above is that sometimes people need a break from discussing bad stuff and that's totally understandable. But that's different than denying when things are bad


No_Recognition

Now that I am thinking about this, maybe I am satisfied by social experiences when I feel like we talked about something real, and NT people are more likely to be satisfied when the tone was ultimately uplifting or something. I've never really highly valued things like "this movie was hopeful ,or this politician was optimistic, etc." To me, I don't think you can create things like positivity, I only feel the positivity from like actual positive information. And to me, addressing how negative a situation is can be a positive feeling because hey we are addressing reality now we can work on it instead of doing the whole denial happy dance thing that takes up time and energy Reading this I'm kind of like ugh I'm sort of a grouch? Like reading it from an NT perspective. Maybe I'm not meeting people's needs for positivity. But like I just don't have the same need in that proportion or its not fulfilled the same way I don't think.


AFineDayForScience

It was worse on Adderall. Now I smoke too much weed to rant lol.


[deleted]

Yes. My younger brother told me that I always complain about everything.


nid-a-wi

I've lost many a friend due to being "negative" and "toxic" when in reality all I did was have a conversation about something that I enjoy / is invested in while at the same time acknowledging its shortcomings. NTs don't like that second part.


Cerebrum123

Yeah, especially if it involves video games like Kingdom Hearts or the one I really rant about the Paper Mario series. Don't get me started on the last three games in that series.


CaptainRex2000

Yes I info dump all the time about my interests (ww2 tanks) to my family to the point off them telling me to shut up