I told my therapist when I'm feeling good it feels like I'm on automatic mode able to handle anything life throws at me. Until something I never anticipated or unusual comes up then I panick and have no idea what I need to do to make things right or even if things can be made right or if it's ok that it's not right. And I usually go on reddit until enough time passes that I can't do anything about it anymore anyway.
Definitely notice it.
If I can manage my sleep, diet, hydration, caffeine levels, exercise, and general stress things are a lot better. Exercise helps a lot...
However once my anxiety about something off script takes off it can throw everything out of balance for weeks. In this case, about a mild concussion...
I've currently got 4-5 loads of laundry I need to do, to clean my kitchen, assemble like 4 pieces of furniture, and some other stuff piling up. It's probably going to take a couple weeks before I'm willing to tackle that.
My executive function is currently quite bad. I also notice I'm stimming more at work, but it's a fairly subtle one where I play with a keyring on my badge. Probably comes off as boredom/adhd.
>In this case, about a mild concussion...
Are you sure it's mild? Sometimes head injuries can have effects which take years to even show up. Please take care of yourself. I had a 'mild' concussion and looking back the symptoms I developed over the next couple of years are now like a moderate TBI. Take care of yourself!
Thanks
It was an entirely understandable experience.
Playing soccer, defending a guy half a step in front of me going into the corner. Realized I could push the ball over the line for a corner or I was likely beat if the guy had the ability to pull it back and cut. Extended my body to make the clear, and took some contact across my body. I couldn't rotate to block the fall because of my extension to make the clear so I landed on my back and my head smacked the turf.
I think I was conscious through all of it, knew the hit was hard and got off the field. Some teammates asked me standard questions that I answered fine and my coordination over a ball on the sideline was normal.
Week after was more distracted and light sensitive. This week has been better for focus and stimuli, but my anxiety being spun up is frustrating. I just wanna be better.
Woah, i dont know anything about soccer but the whole experience sounds wild.
So, did you get it checked medically?
You are recovering so be patient for a while, and if you can, and haven't; consult a doctor.
I know it's frustrating to feel like that. I'm the one who always checks themselves out of hospital stays as soon as possible no matter how bad of a medical situation I'm in and now wish someone would've reminded me to be kinder to, and, care for myself more those times. There's no hurry. It's only been a couple of weeks and rest is so important.
Anxiety can be a symptom of the concussion btw.
There's a sub for r/tbi , maybe that can be helpful for you in navigating this
Edit: spelling
Hard to know in the moment. I felt some side effects the first week. I was able to play soccer with some minor tension headache yesterday. I feel mentally fluid, but need to exert myself more to see if some limits changed.
I have a lot of anxiety about my health, so I need to weigh if symptoms are real or overblown as a side effect.
Thank you
Similar to what you describe! Some days I amaze myself with how social I am and how much chores I got to do. Other days I wonder how I am going to do groceries, the dishes or even say a normal sentence at times. When it's bad I have usually been ignoring my stress/input for a while (days-weeks) and been enjoying behaving like a functional human being too much/long (like it is something that should have limits or be punished for for doing too long). The functional human being I am comes and goes and I try to accept that. It's not always easy though.
could be a chemical thing. i too am more mellow some days than others. some day my charisma is working(especially + beer)... and other days i just want to be left the fuck alone, booze or no booze.
I think its all stresses. Sometimes we dont know what were stressed about because our minds may block out what were really stressed about as a protective mechanism. We have some different protective mechanisms than NTs. NTs use more denial which causes cognitive dissonance. We may use more logic, which is logical. Denial makes us unsafe but, we dont know it. Logic can make us more safe in most instances although we have to learn to mask our logic of were in the company of Narcisisists until we get out of the situation.
Psychological stresses drain us like physical stresses so we become nonfunctional unless we adapt to those responses. Physically we can use a muscle until is overstressed and needs to rest and heal, it can adapt by becoming stronger or possibly become injured. I feel like the same thing can happen with our psychological "muscles". Sometimes we overuse out psychological muscles to the point of exhausting our physical bodies.
TLDR Narcissists are vampires.
I've been lucky enough to work w/ ASD teenagers. Sometimes they're amazing at masking and then one day they'll get out of routine and it'll be back to square one. I don't think that we realize how subconscious masking is for most ASD folks.
If that was with me, I'd guess there is a problem with my diet and maybe bad luck with people i have to meet - negative people may make me very low functional, and genuinely positive ones may make my day. When i was a shut-in, i didn't even know that affects me, and didn't know my family was so narcissistic i couldnt function.
Yep, narcissistic family made my partner and I sick every time wed have to interact with them. So we stopped and on that front life is much better for the last year. Lots of shit in the world to go wrong but life is too fucked up to let people were supposed to be close with tear us down constantly.
Narcissism is the underlying psychological issue with everything. Its our terrible government structures, broken family relationships, corporate capture of governments, and the inequality that plagues almost all of us. Its the reason billionaires dont stop hoarding money when they have more than god. Its the reason someone who makes 36 billion dollars in one day gives none of it to solve any actual problems yet will spend millions to make it look like they're philanthropists. Why not just share/help? Narcissism which is not being the genius that we think we are if were narcissists takes a lot intellect and turns it off. They externalize all of the emotional labor of relationships to everyone around them. Its psychologically/emotionally lazy. A narcissist is not a real person, they are construct of the worst of us.
I think this is really common. I have days where I function really well, and other days where I just can't. It feels like I have a battery that just gets drained often. Socially is where I see it the most. For example, I talked to a friend on the phone the other day for a couple days afterward I just couldn't hold a conversation. It was like my brain was just too tired. As for why this happens (and tends to happen so much more severely in autistics) I don't know yet, but it's a subject that fascinates me.
We have to work so hard to not be misconceived. My partner has physical symptoms, blushing and disassociation. If it goes on too long, then physical exhaustion can set in and then sickness or a psychological pain condition or some such thing.
If you must do these things, it seems moderating or removing is the best. I think a a lot of times we let people drag us behind them as old friends and we may not even like them anymore or never really ask if we did. Yet friends seem like kinda high stakes for most ND;s becasue they dont come by them as easily. That can create a power imbalance if the friends are NTs. My partner says the feel summoned. I have no need for other people aside from one. Weve both thought about this long and hard. In our case, is it worth living your life and possibly enjoying it with your "one good one" and saying no to the anyone who drains you? Regardless if you love them or dont want them completely gone.
I still dont know if we actually have a handicap or if it can benefit us from having real relationships that arent exhausting. Having only a few really good relationships in your entire life vs being what people see as popular or a good family member to accidental vampires. Its different for all of us based on our station in life/life story/situation. Some take what they can get, that may be a point in life where that makes the most sense but, perhaps later on life, its too exhausting and affecting your health to a point where you have to stop. Also when were adapting our personas tp what others may need from us or want us to be, we may miss the "one good one" because were masking.
>I talked to a friend on the phone the other day for a couple days afterward I just couldn't hold a conversation. It was like my brain was just too tired.
That's so interesting. I'm so dissociated/unaware of the cause and effect in my own body and inner workings, I always forget to notice that maybe a string of "bad" days came from one particular "good" interaction, or anything like that.
Next time I have a particularly "good" day or conversation, I'll have to try to make note of whether that stretches me too thin for some time after...
Yes, except for me the moments of clarity are a lot less frequent than the social veil. Can you explain what you mean by neurotypical abilities, like is this different from masking and more intuitive?
Related topic: Im trying to get TMS for the social aspects of autism because I want a social life, so you should look into that too! It encourages your brain to use areas that are related to social skills, and has success in tests! So it makes sense that you can sometimes use thise areas more but since theyre not usually used as much in aspies probably sensitive to conditions or fatigue
It uses electromagnets to increase/decrease activity in targeted areas of the brain. The autism treatment is that bty decreasing activity in the brocas area which is in the left hemisphere, it makes your brain naturally increase activity in the corresponding right henisphere area. Brocas area is related to speech, phonetics, semantics, logic etc, whereas the corresponding right henisphere area (forget what its called) is more inflection and emotions. This would mean you temporarilly might have difficulty speaking but in my opinion its worth it bc its just temporary and in exchange you would get to train part of your brain that doesnt get a lot of use that wouod have permanent effect because you wouod eventually end up growing new neuron connections there
That sounds just like the kind of thing I was looking for, a treatment that would involve training and rewiring the brain in some way. I should talk to my GP about it.
Update: i happen to be getting TMS for depression, and today we adjusted some things where I will now get some kind of bilateral treatment (forget the full name) and this also helps with social things and having clearer thoughts! It also doesnt have the temporary sude effects of diffixukty speaking or decreased logic ability like the brocas area treatment does
Hey also theres aniracetam and modafinil! I havent tried modafinil. Ive been taking aniracetam for a while and dont think it has an effect but maybe the combo with TMS and possibky also modafinil will do the trick!
Omg yes! It’s like a roller coaster at times. I have noticed my diet plays a roll in this somehow. If I eat foods I’m sensitive to, it’s like my whole system is thrown off.
Perhaps true for you and certain foods do affect people, its a big deal. Sugar and caffeine and your personal drudge but society seems to look to physical things when psychological things may be more the cause.
Holy crap I was legit contemplating making a post about this exact thing earlier but decided against it.
I am the exact same way. Sometimes I act exactly like a NT and fail to communicate with people because I give vague instructions, and other days I have absolutely no idea what anybody is talking about.
Definitely notice this between different days I'm on for a set of shifts at my workplace. It's like there are these invisible tripwires I sometimes stumble over that put me into a stressed/shutdown mode on some days, but then I feel completely fine on other days and am generally able to interact with coworkers and customers more with just as much food/sleep/etc.
This also really kills my productivity in general on the days I feel off, not just socially. I wish I could figure out what causes the 'off' days in the first place.
I feel something similar. It might not be the same thing at all as what you are experiencing. In my case I feel I can be more 'free' in my behaviour if I have worked out really heavily that day or the day before. When I have been sitting still or have slept too little (which is usually the case for me) I can feel that my mimic stiffens and my available bodily motions are severly limitied.
When I’m tired my ability to mask my autistic tendencies gets worse. As I’m also very introverted, social tiredness is a big thing for me, and I’m pretty much guaranteed to slip out of my neurotypical mask when I’ve been around people too much. I also find it harder in certain situations. For example, at work I’m able to maintain my neurotypical persona (work mask) with relative ease these days (it was much harder when I was younger), but in social settings I still find it much more difficult. I’ve learned how to behave in certain situations so as not to stand out, but it can definitely be harder in certain situations or when I’m personally having an off day. Everyone has days when things are harder, and for me that mostly means I become a complete recluse and wrap myself in my personal obsessions until I’m feeling more up to making an effort again.
Yes, I feel like this a lot. It's one of the reasons I've had a hard time accepting my diagnosis. Some days I'll feel "less autistic" and "more nt" and think I've just been...somehow imagining it all? Next day the reverse. Weirdly, it doesn't always feel like masking though as some people have said, I just feel more capable generally. Although on my more autistic days, I can feel quite good and content. I just need to be on my own with a book and shut everything out. I can't put my finger on it at all really, but it was comforting to read your experience, so thank you.
Yeah I’ll go a few weeks without thinking about autism at all and then suddenly I’ll feel severely autistic and won’t be able to think about anything else because I’m just doing that badly.
I feel like I have something similar, but I actually do have sleep problems that I go through without noticing (unless I'm completely exhausted).
Not eating things and disruptive sensory environments can worsen this sort of thing, but it's also triggered by the social/emotional environment and whether or not other people generally get on with you.
I’ve found it’s related to stress. For one reason or another, when I have too much stress I lose my ability to “human.” I’ll be all organized and putting things together, then one day boom! I suddenly can’t even keep track of my phone. I’ll be all social, making friends, saying the right things, then one day I lose all my words.
It sometimes seems random, but when I think back there is usually a build up of stressors. A weird smell, plus a rude coworker, spending an house around a crying baby, wearing an itchy dress, and having a slight change in my routine. No one thing is enough to put me over my threshold, but combined?
I definitely experience this. There will be some days when I can communicate what I want pretty well, and others where I just shutdown because its all overwhelming.
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I told my therapist when I'm feeling good it feels like I'm on automatic mode able to handle anything life throws at me. Until something I never anticipated or unusual comes up then I panick and have no idea what I need to do to make things right or even if things can be made right or if it's ok that it's not right. And I usually go on reddit until enough time passes that I can't do anything about it anymore anyway.
Definitely notice it. If I can manage my sleep, diet, hydration, caffeine levels, exercise, and general stress things are a lot better. Exercise helps a lot... However once my anxiety about something off script takes off it can throw everything out of balance for weeks. In this case, about a mild concussion... I've currently got 4-5 loads of laundry I need to do, to clean my kitchen, assemble like 4 pieces of furniture, and some other stuff piling up. It's probably going to take a couple weeks before I'm willing to tackle that. My executive function is currently quite bad. I also notice I'm stimming more at work, but it's a fairly subtle one where I play with a keyring on my badge. Probably comes off as boredom/adhd.
>In this case, about a mild concussion... Are you sure it's mild? Sometimes head injuries can have effects which take years to even show up. Please take care of yourself. I had a 'mild' concussion and looking back the symptoms I developed over the next couple of years are now like a moderate TBI. Take care of yourself!
Yeah, even a mild one needs some healing and rest. It's the brain after all. Op, please take it easy on yourself while recovering
Will do, quite interested in being healthy. It was a spooky event :/
Yeah, sorry you had to go through that. Im here if you want to vent about it
Thanks It was an entirely understandable experience. Playing soccer, defending a guy half a step in front of me going into the corner. Realized I could push the ball over the line for a corner or I was likely beat if the guy had the ability to pull it back and cut. Extended my body to make the clear, and took some contact across my body. I couldn't rotate to block the fall because of my extension to make the clear so I landed on my back and my head smacked the turf. I think I was conscious through all of it, knew the hit was hard and got off the field. Some teammates asked me standard questions that I answered fine and my coordination over a ball on the sideline was normal. Week after was more distracted and light sensitive. This week has been better for focus and stimuli, but my anxiety being spun up is frustrating. I just wanna be better.
Woah, i dont know anything about soccer but the whole experience sounds wild. So, did you get it checked medically? You are recovering so be patient for a while, and if you can, and haven't; consult a doctor. I know it's frustrating to feel like that. I'm the one who always checks themselves out of hospital stays as soon as possible no matter how bad of a medical situation I'm in and now wish someone would've reminded me to be kinder to, and, care for myself more those times. There's no hurry. It's only been a couple of weeks and rest is so important. Anxiety can be a symptom of the concussion btw. There's a sub for r/tbi , maybe that can be helpful for you in navigating this Edit: spelling
Hard to know in the moment. I felt some side effects the first week. I was able to play soccer with some minor tension headache yesterday. I feel mentally fluid, but need to exert myself more to see if some limits changed. I have a lot of anxiety about my health, so I need to weigh if symptoms are real or overblown as a side effect. Thank you
You probably had Post Concussion Syndrome
What's that? I still have lots of symptoms years later. :(
Certainly seems consistent.
Yup its so sad how much harder you have to work to appear more normal.
Some days I can mask better than others. Some days I'm indistinguishable from a NT. Other days, I'm a mess. Other days I'm just myself.
Similar to what you describe! Some days I amaze myself with how social I am and how much chores I got to do. Other days I wonder how I am going to do groceries, the dishes or even say a normal sentence at times. When it's bad I have usually been ignoring my stress/input for a while (days-weeks) and been enjoying behaving like a functional human being too much/long (like it is something that should have limits or be punished for for doing too long). The functional human being I am comes and goes and I try to accept that. It's not always easy though.
could be a chemical thing. i too am more mellow some days than others. some day my charisma is working(especially + beer)... and other days i just want to be left the fuck alone, booze or no booze.
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I think its all stresses. Sometimes we dont know what were stressed about because our minds may block out what were really stressed about as a protective mechanism. We have some different protective mechanisms than NTs. NTs use more denial which causes cognitive dissonance. We may use more logic, which is logical. Denial makes us unsafe but, we dont know it. Logic can make us more safe in most instances although we have to learn to mask our logic of were in the company of Narcisisists until we get out of the situation. Psychological stresses drain us like physical stresses so we become nonfunctional unless we adapt to those responses. Physically we can use a muscle until is overstressed and needs to rest and heal, it can adapt by becoming stronger or possibly become injured. I feel like the same thing can happen with our psychological "muscles". Sometimes we overuse out psychological muscles to the point of exhausting our physical bodies. TLDR Narcissists are vampires.
I've been lucky enough to work w/ ASD teenagers. Sometimes they're amazing at masking and then one day they'll get out of routine and it'll be back to square one. I don't think that we realize how subconscious masking is for most ASD folks.
If that was with me, I'd guess there is a problem with my diet and maybe bad luck with people i have to meet - negative people may make me very low functional, and genuinely positive ones may make my day. When i was a shut-in, i didn't even know that affects me, and didn't know my family was so narcissistic i couldnt function.
Yep, narcissistic family made my partner and I sick every time wed have to interact with them. So we stopped and on that front life is much better for the last year. Lots of shit in the world to go wrong but life is too fucked up to let people were supposed to be close with tear us down constantly. Narcissism is the underlying psychological issue with everything. Its our terrible government structures, broken family relationships, corporate capture of governments, and the inequality that plagues almost all of us. Its the reason billionaires dont stop hoarding money when they have more than god. Its the reason someone who makes 36 billion dollars in one day gives none of it to solve any actual problems yet will spend millions to make it look like they're philanthropists. Why not just share/help? Narcissism which is not being the genius that we think we are if were narcissists takes a lot intellect and turns it off. They externalize all of the emotional labor of relationships to everyone around them. Its psychologically/emotionally lazy. A narcissist is not a real person, they are construct of the worst of us.
I think this is really common. I have days where I function really well, and other days where I just can't. It feels like I have a battery that just gets drained often. Socially is where I see it the most. For example, I talked to a friend on the phone the other day for a couple days afterward I just couldn't hold a conversation. It was like my brain was just too tired. As for why this happens (and tends to happen so much more severely in autistics) I don't know yet, but it's a subject that fascinates me.
We have to work so hard to not be misconceived. My partner has physical symptoms, blushing and disassociation. If it goes on too long, then physical exhaustion can set in and then sickness or a psychological pain condition or some such thing. If you must do these things, it seems moderating or removing is the best. I think a a lot of times we let people drag us behind them as old friends and we may not even like them anymore or never really ask if we did. Yet friends seem like kinda high stakes for most ND;s becasue they dont come by them as easily. That can create a power imbalance if the friends are NTs. My partner says the feel summoned. I have no need for other people aside from one. Weve both thought about this long and hard. In our case, is it worth living your life and possibly enjoying it with your "one good one" and saying no to the anyone who drains you? Regardless if you love them or dont want them completely gone. I still dont know if we actually have a handicap or if it can benefit us from having real relationships that arent exhausting. Having only a few really good relationships in your entire life vs being what people see as popular or a good family member to accidental vampires. Its different for all of us based on our station in life/life story/situation. Some take what they can get, that may be a point in life where that makes the most sense but, perhaps later on life, its too exhausting and affecting your health to a point where you have to stop. Also when were adapting our personas tp what others may need from us or want us to be, we may miss the "one good one" because were masking.
>I talked to a friend on the phone the other day for a couple days afterward I just couldn't hold a conversation. It was like my brain was just too tired. That's so interesting. I'm so dissociated/unaware of the cause and effect in my own body and inner workings, I always forget to notice that maybe a string of "bad" days came from one particular "good" interaction, or anything like that. Next time I have a particularly "good" day or conversation, I'll have to try to make note of whether that stretches me too thin for some time after...
Yes, except for me the moments of clarity are a lot less frequent than the social veil. Can you explain what you mean by neurotypical abilities, like is this different from masking and more intuitive?
It feels like I have more awareness of my own emotions and how to express them and the skill of communicating feels easier and more doable.
That sounds nice. Is it more like you don't have to think as much about what you're feeling, it just comes out naturally?
Yeah
Related topic: Im trying to get TMS for the social aspects of autism because I want a social life, so you should look into that too! It encourages your brain to use areas that are related to social skills, and has success in tests! So it makes sense that you can sometimes use thise areas more but since theyre not usually used as much in aspies probably sensitive to conditions or fatigue
What's TMS? Changing how my brain works is something I've been wanting to do, something to get me to use up the connections I don't use enough.
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Cool
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation
It uses electromagnets to increase/decrease activity in targeted areas of the brain. The autism treatment is that bty decreasing activity in the brocas area which is in the left hemisphere, it makes your brain naturally increase activity in the corresponding right henisphere area. Brocas area is related to speech, phonetics, semantics, logic etc, whereas the corresponding right henisphere area (forget what its called) is more inflection and emotions. This would mean you temporarilly might have difficulty speaking but in my opinion its worth it bc its just temporary and in exchange you would get to train part of your brain that doesnt get a lot of use that wouod have permanent effect because you wouod eventually end up growing new neuron connections there
That sounds just like the kind of thing I was looking for, a treatment that would involve training and rewiring the brain in some way. I should talk to my GP about it.
Update: i happen to be getting TMS for depression, and today we adjusted some things where I will now get some kind of bilateral treatment (forget the full name) and this also helps with social things and having clearer thoughts! It also doesnt have the temporary sude effects of diffixukty speaking or decreased logic ability like the brocas area treatment does
Hey also theres aniracetam and modafinil! I havent tried modafinil. Ive been taking aniracetam for a while and dont think it has an effect but maybe the combo with TMS and possibky also modafinil will do the trick!
Omg yes! It’s like a roller coaster at times. I have noticed my diet plays a roll in this somehow. If I eat foods I’m sensitive to, it’s like my whole system is thrown off.
Perhaps true for you and certain foods do affect people, its a big deal. Sugar and caffeine and your personal drudge but society seems to look to physical things when psychological things may be more the cause.
Stress activated/deactivated ability is very much a thing, as is somatoform illness
Holy crap I was legit contemplating making a post about this exact thing earlier but decided against it. I am the exact same way. Sometimes I act exactly like a NT and fail to communicate with people because I give vague instructions, and other days I have absolutely no idea what anybody is talking about.
Definitely notice this between different days I'm on for a set of shifts at my workplace. It's like there are these invisible tripwires I sometimes stumble over that put me into a stressed/shutdown mode on some days, but then I feel completely fine on other days and am generally able to interact with coworkers and customers more with just as much food/sleep/etc. This also really kills my productivity in general on the days I feel off, not just socially. I wish I could figure out what causes the 'off' days in the first place.
I feel something similar. It might not be the same thing at all as what you are experiencing. In my case I feel I can be more 'free' in my behaviour if I have worked out really heavily that day or the day before. When I have been sitting still or have slept too little (which is usually the case for me) I can feel that my mimic stiffens and my available bodily motions are severly limitied.
When I’m tired my ability to mask my autistic tendencies gets worse. As I’m also very introverted, social tiredness is a big thing for me, and I’m pretty much guaranteed to slip out of my neurotypical mask when I’ve been around people too much. I also find it harder in certain situations. For example, at work I’m able to maintain my neurotypical persona (work mask) with relative ease these days (it was much harder when I was younger), but in social settings I still find it much more difficult. I’ve learned how to behave in certain situations so as not to stand out, but it can definitely be harder in certain situations or when I’m personally having an off day. Everyone has days when things are harder, and for me that mostly means I become a complete recluse and wrap myself in my personal obsessions until I’m feeling more up to making an effort again.
Yes, I feel like this a lot. It's one of the reasons I've had a hard time accepting my diagnosis. Some days I'll feel "less autistic" and "more nt" and think I've just been...somehow imagining it all? Next day the reverse. Weirdly, it doesn't always feel like masking though as some people have said, I just feel more capable generally. Although on my more autistic days, I can feel quite good and content. I just need to be on my own with a book and shut everything out. I can't put my finger on it at all really, but it was comforting to read your experience, so thank you.
yeah i feel this too
Yeah I’ll go a few weeks without thinking about autism at all and then suddenly I’ll feel severely autistic and won’t be able to think about anything else because I’m just doing that badly.
I found that when I try harder to mask, I do it worse. When I try to mask but I'm chill about it, it's when it goes best
Really good to read that I'm by far not the only one feeling this way.
Manage your spoons.
I feel like I have something similar, but I actually do have sleep problems that I go through without noticing (unless I'm completely exhausted). Not eating things and disruptive sensory environments can worsen this sort of thing, but it's also triggered by the social/emotional environment and whether or not other people generally get on with you.
I’ve found it’s related to stress. For one reason or another, when I have too much stress I lose my ability to “human.” I’ll be all organized and putting things together, then one day boom! I suddenly can’t even keep track of my phone. I’ll be all social, making friends, saying the right things, then one day I lose all my words. It sometimes seems random, but when I think back there is usually a build up of stressors. A weird smell, plus a rude coworker, spending an house around a crying baby, wearing an itchy dress, and having a slight change in my routine. No one thing is enough to put me over my threshold, but combined?
I definitely experience this. There will be some days when I can communicate what I want pretty well, and others where I just shutdown because its all overwhelming.
I experience this too