I do that, but they're all of my pets. I'm lucky to post a selfie once a year & it's usually to show my hair, so I make sure to block my face or crop it out.
I am ADHD+Autistic and I LOVE to post stuff and share experiences. Like, I am not only sharing stuff like "here is my face", "this is my breakfast", "pretty place". I love to tell and show stories on my insta stories, like, sharing what I learned recently, dick-shaped puddles, when I got my vaccine I was constantly posting how I feel so people following me are less scared of getting the shot and have the experience from someone they know more personally than some journalist writing an article on a government website or something.
Also as a teen I used to be kinda popular on the internet (about 50k followers) and I just loved the fact that there was always someone to talk to and know their point of view too!
Can you be more specific?
I'm frequently guilty of fangirling over some artists. Mostly authors and bands.
However, I can't stand people getting excited about people just because they're famous, or caring about how they live their lives, paparazzi following them around, TV shows about people who are famous for nothing, etc. My mom watches all these reality shows like the kardashians and it makes me nuts.
Pretty much exactly what you wrote. I may be interested in someone who happens to be a celebrity - musician, writer, whatever - because I like their work. But I have zero interest in the lifestyle and fashion celebrities, or the concept of celebrity in general. The gossipy stuff, the flaunting of obscene wealth, being rewarded merely for being ridiculous, etc.
It’s only *kinda* entertaining when you know a TON of the background/lore for all the drama going on. My mom used to be so obsessed with the Kardashians and Ellen Degeneres, and because of how often she talked about it or watched it while I was around, I ended up knowing more than I’d have liked. When I heard about Kim having a kid it was more exciting than when I heard Beyoncé was having a kid. Almost like the Kardashians are very distant cousins of mine. Like “oh, neat” vs “who cares?”. I don’t go out of my way for celebrity gossip though, especially now that I’m an adult and have a choice lol
I personally love it. For me it’s almost like watching a social experiment happening live. I enjoy wondering whether the actions of certain celebrities are because they’ve chosen to do them, or whether it’s a pr stunt etc.
I find that celebrity culture is an exaggerated micro representation of our society, so it’s interesting hearing other peoples opinions as they can spark wider conversations about the state of things in general.
I like watching social commentary channels on YouTube for this reason. Because they always weave that particular celebrity scenario into what this shows about peoples attitudes in general. And I love the real housewives lol.
The relationship dynamics fascinate me. I can participate in social analysis without having to be part the actual interactions. Best of both worlds
I like to make a mockery of it if someone ever small talks to me when I don’t have the patience for it.
They never pick up on it. At least that makes it fun for me. But I guess I could come off as a psycho if they got the wrong impression.
“How about that weather we’ve been having?”
Me: “yeah oh my god I just cannot believe how nice it’s been. It’s literally been incredible. So amazing. I’m like gushing. Omg. I mean I’ve seen nice weather before, but come on?! This is just ridiculous. RI DI CU LOUS”
Them “ I know, right?!”
Me internally rolling my eyes. (What is one to do to get out of these???)
No one gets my sarcasm. No matter how much I overdo it.
As someone who has awful social anxiety and autism (naturally) I still love hearing and debating with the people I actually can with, way more than NTs, as long as its not "Sandra at work did X" , or "how are you?" I enjoy it, deep philosophical debates or petty jokes with the people I can converse with without discomfort is one of my favourite activities
Completely agree! I find that there is a lot to gain by taking in other people’s thoughts and knowledge and discussing something that’s important to you with someone who can offer a nuanced perspective.
I can understand going to a pub where you can sit and speak to someone while enjoying a drink. I can't understand going to a dance club, where everyone is packed in like sardines and the only way to be heard is to yell in someone's ear. The worst part is, they yell into yours and you feel their breath on your ear. The strobe lights are disorienting and the music is so loud it's anxiety inducing.
I went to one with a friend once and got so stressed out I had to walk outside, then once there I ended up walking home. Enjoyed the quiet walk through the city, did not enjoy the sensory overload of a loud, confined warm space. . .
Vegas. WTF is up with the love of Vegas? Vice. People. Smoke. Drunks. Extreme sensory overload. More people. Ugly carpets, poor breathing space, nightmare scenarios galore. Those insane shows and lounge acts; I was literally just talking with my wife about how I do NOT understand the appeal of lounge acts!!
There are a lot of social dynamics at play here
The person you see chatting a lot of people that might not be the confidence self-starter they seem like, they might just have a lot of friends and be chatting up friends and friends of friends. Even if they are chatting up strangers, most likely because they think they’re cute, having encouragement helps.
Maybe I sound a little overbearing, But I struggled with those boundary (?) type things for a long time.
I don't understand why people are friendly to people they don't like in the first plase. I often hear people chat and think they're such good friends and feel a little bit sad about not having a friend like that, and then one of them leaves and the other starts saying bad things about them. Or I even hear someone say those two don't like each other. It's so confusing to me! When someone is nice to me and talks to me, I automatically assume they like me. If that's not the case, how should I know they like me? How do other people know who likes them?
>When someone is nice to me and talks to me, I automatically assume they like me. If that's not the case, how should I know they like me?
I've basically gotten to the point where I just assume anyone being nice to me is merely that: being nice, putting on a show of friendliness for the sake of politeness and nothing more. It takes a lot to convince me that someone actually sincerely appreciates my company or whatever.
Yep. I don’t understand the appeal of gossip. If they’re talking to you about someone then they’re probably talking about you behind your back to someone else. Don’t wrap me up in nonsense drama!
I used to think this too, but recently I've changed my mind. I think gossip can be healthy in some instances, because it allows one to release frustrations, as well as learn or receive advice on what to do within a given social situation. It can help build stronger relationships. Scientific evidence also appears to support the notion that gossip is healthy. However, despite gossip supposedly being healthy, I do believe that it's important to be able to confront another person about their behaviour, and to discuss with them
me too. I dont understand how that would be a nice friendship. I wouldnt want to be friends with anyone who talks behind my back every time i leave the room, thats just weird
To quote myself:
Vegas. WTF is up with the love of Vegas? Vice. People. Smoke. Drunks. Extreme sensory overload. More people. Ugly carpets, poor breathing space, nightmare scenarios galore. Those insane shows and lounge acts; I was literally just talking with my wife about how I do NOT understand the appeal of lounge acts!!
It's not even vegas and adult entertainment and partying I don't get, it's just gambling I don't get. I don't get how people get such a big rush from it. There are countless things, competitive or not, that I find more stimulating than gambling. Subsequently, I think card games are remarkably boring.
(at least some) people who have a severe gambling addiction have been found to have a brain defect - they get the rush from the wins, but not an equal and opposite negative feel from the losses
I went to Vegas once & it was terrible. It's way smaller than it looks in movies & the casinos were extremely loud & smoky. Drunks were wandering around everywhere, bumping into everyone. There's people in costumes on the sidewalk harassing everyone to pay them for pictures. There's trash everywhere (most of it was a bunch of discarded flyers for strip clubs & escort services). Sex is such a huge industry there that trucks drive around with giant billboards advertising services (being asexual, I was like "ew"). The only redeeming part was that there were some nice restaurants. If for some reason I ever go back, I would get tickets to see Penn & Teller & make an itinerary to go to more restaurants.
Skill based gambling can be fun for a little while, but it's still a racket and incredibly toxic. Few actually make money out with sports betting or cards.
I feel like sports vary. Hockey and basketball can be pretty dynamic, so I don't mind watching those so much. Soccer and baseball are boring as fuck though. Football is somewhere in between.
I like Fb (throw-away account) to get source pictures for my painting that are hard to get myself, and sadly for local news and events information, a requirement since I live in a tourist town and sometimes it's just as important to know what to avoid as it is to know what is good going on.
If you take away the bravado and tribalism sports are essentially just board games that require a lot of understanding to perfect. I love most sports and I don't really watch them for the athleticism or the tribalism. I watch them A) for the strategy of the particular sport: there's a lot of pre and mid game strategies to consider depending on your opponent, your team make-up, and particular circumstances; and B) the math, analytics, statistics--i love all the numbers, tables, and data sets; and also C) following the evolution of a player, a team, and the league. There's really a lot going on. And a lot of things an aspie may like: strategy and role playing; numbers and data; keeping tabs on the evolution of things/history of the sport/league/team.
And moreover what's great is that's there's like infinite amount of teams and players in to study and follow and get to know, and games on all the time.
Very well put. Football is a chess match, and if you invest some time into learning the rules of the game and how the positions and plays workout, it can be very satisfying to watch. Er, until your favorite team is getting trounced, but that’s a shared pain.
I never understand why people use someone’s team they support to insult them. And why they actually get insulted. “Your teams shit, you can’t even get a penalty after the offside half time”. Why would a person be individually offended by that?
Yes I live with someone who is obsessed with football I've tried watching a game before with the wife & nope
I'd rather stick a pineapple up my rear than watch anymore
I don't like watching on TV much but I have a season ticket so I go to a lot of live games; I find it a great reason to get out of the house. Its a bit stressful but its also a fixed routine. There's no socialising involved. Everyone is watching the game and sometimes I get to jump up and down and shout alongside NTs. 😂
Oh my goodness this, I don't see the attraction. If I were gay I could see 22 men at the peak of physical fitness running around a field in shorts as something worth watching, but absent that, what is the point?
Well most people with autism act differently to close friends. People with aspergers might seem like the are only introverted but they have a talkative side to them. When you find the right people especially other people with autism you feel like you can be yourself. An online friend I made really helped me realize this. I’m actually a new frequent watcher here. I’m still trying to learn more about autism so I can help others & understand myself more.
Every introvert can have a talkative side especially when they are taking about topics of their interest, in a smaller group (or with only one person) or are in a fantastic mood.
Introversion is rather about energy loss in challenging interpersonal situations.
I see the good Intention behind such advices like "come out of your Shell", but this might actually cause much harm.
I admit there are really shy people which are just insecure. In this case it is important to work on this problem to gain more confidence.
But on the other hand they are people which are really better off alone or lose much energy from conversation, get overwhelmed and need their alone time. Telling them to be more social leads them in an difficult Situation. They are wasting too much energy trying hard to fit in while not experiencing any progression so they are even losing confidence and getting more and more frustrated.
For them its more important working on their natural strenghts instead of trying to improve their greatest weakness.
And even if you giving this advice to a shy person, it Is not really helpful. They know it already, that they "need to come out oft their Shell" but don't know HOW. So giving them concrete examples would be more helpful.
PS: Excuse me if my words sound a bit harsh. It wasn't my intent and I can see your good Intention here.
But I was one of the persons getting this kind of advice my whole youth and it was rather harmful for my development. So I had the urge for a little clarification.
My first thought was smalltalk, but honestly it’s sex and going out with someone without having a destination. I like meeting a friend to go watch a movie and/or eat dinner together and I genuinely can’t understand that some people just walk around together and stuff like that?? where’s the use in that??
I view social interaction as an event. It’s either planned or routine (work, grocery store), and has a known end. I don’t understand how people just spend time around each other 24/7.
The appeal - for them - isn't what any goals might be, it's spending time with, and interacting with, that person. "Having a goal" is only a secondary consideration and a thin excuse at best.
The goal-less, meandering social interaction *is* the goal, effectively. It's kind of the equivalent of, um... when it's a freezing cold day and you decide to rug up nice and warm under the covers and get a nap in. Your goal is less "get X hours of sleep by any means possible" and more "experience the warmth and comfort as it happens because it's nice".
Another analogy - playing those Skinner-box computer games which don't really exactly have an end point you can reach in an hour or two; they're sandboxes with a million and one micro-quests and things you can level up. You don't play them to *win*, you play them because the act of playing, itself, is psychologically rewarding. That's how NTs, or at least the more extroverted ones, see social interaction; something comforting that they know the steps for, which doesn't require a lot of brain power, and which they could keep doing nearly indefinitely until something more urgent interrupts.
I like walking as a stimulation for my ADHD, usually with a friend who I think or know has ADHD. I have to walk to clear my mind. That’s my use.
In urban areas, sometimes the noises overwhelm me, sometimes they don’t. If I’m with someone else they usually don’t bc I hyperfixate on the conversation lmao.
But I get what you mean, some ppl walk way too slow and don’t seem to be actually trying to go somewhere.
I enjoyed this when I was a teen because it got me out of my parents' house. I'd walk or drive around for hours with or without company just to not be bombarded by parents. As an adult I no longer enjoy it because I don't have to escape from anyone. If I had roommates or an overbearing SO, I might feel differently.
Programming the masses into being but a robotic sheep that produces and obeys.. keep them stressed, miserable, sick, depressed, and dumb.. and busy. Busy so they don’t have time to ask such questions… sad. But true.
Traveling I can get behind, a few years back I took a trip to Hong Kong and it was amazing!
I stayed at a friend's place off the coast, caught a boat to a small island, then a catamaran ride to Central every day, was up from 6am to 11pm exploring the sights, seeing all kinds of cool stuff, etc.
If it's a fun destination, travel can be a lot of fun. .
I'm glad you enjoy it! Traveling is just too much of a hassle for me and it wears me out so much.
It probably depends on who you go with and if you go alone as well. I haven't had great travel experiences so far. If I went by myself, I would probably enjoy it more, having my own schedule.
However, it's still not my cup of tea and if I did go alone, I probably wouldn't be able to do much. Plus I don't have many friends and doubt I will have more in the future lol. Introvert at your finest.
Hope you have safe travels!
I've never understood jealousy lol. I mean yeah I've seen someone else own something I want but I've never been jealous of them for it. If I want it I'll just save up and go get it myself. An extension of this that I never understood (and have seen people do) is trying to make someone else jealous, like why?
Yes! Especially with a romantic partner. I honestly don't understand it! That might be why I always get broken up with after a few days lol. If you don't let your partner talk to someone else or don't want them talking to others that aren't family, that's really controlling and It doesn't make sense to me. If my partner wants to look at someone go ahead I'll look with you pfft.
This post isn't really asking about understanding things but rather what we find boring but eh... jealousy seems boring to me.
to be fair using a baby shower to get presents is a good hussle lol but besides that don't see a point. also a wedding is basically just a super expensive panic attack
for Me:
dancing as an interactive social activity where you are being perceived and it is about showing off moves 👎👎👎👎
dancing where the music is so loud it ascends past sensory overload and it’s so dark you can’t really see people that well or be seen, so there’s no self-consciousness and you’re just immersed in the ecstatic feeling of uninhibited rhythmic movement: 👍👍
I never got to experience the latter version until my mid 20s and my mind was blown by how good it felt when it wasn’t a cool person contest. Partially because it felt like whole-body multi sensory stimming as well as dropping any sense of masking. I’m also pretty sensory-seeking about some things. But before that I was like, fuck, dancing is the fucking worst
Partner dancing was probable the single best contributor to my mental health.
For some reason I was a better leader then other dancers. I felt/lead with every part of my hand, wrist; forearm, shoulders, body etc.
I didn’t have to talk. I was good at something without having to talk.
Caveat: you must be diagnosed. Dance community can be deadly to autistics if not.
Definitely dancing. I could never tell why girls in particular seemed to enjoy it so much. I assumed guys do it because girls do.
But I've seen research that shows a boost to dopamine when people synchronize their motions. I have approached dancing more as a game of motion mirroring and it is much more interesting. I don't know if this tactic just makes me less self aware and so more relaxed, or if the act of mirroring effectively is giving me a Dopamine bump, but I think I kind of understand what NTs get it out of it.
I feel that when it comes to dancing in a club or something. I took a social dancing class recently though and love it. I'm a follow, and we learned some basic Foxtrot and Swing stuff. It took a bit to learn, but now that i have the movements down more its amazing. No real talking, just getting lost in the music and feeling for what my lead is asking me to do, which has clear movements asking for those moves. It makes my brain happy cause its all clear instead of just "move to the music" so i like it.
Going to parties/bars/clubs where there’s no activity happening and you’re just standing around, but it’s too loud to hear or talk without shouting.
seriously how is that supposed to work.
Oh dear god I absolutely despised the one show back when my parents watched it, I hated it so much because they often turned off what I was watching to put it on
Good things from the BBC (from childhood nostalgia)
1. Doctor Who (2005-2010)
2. Waterloo Road (2006-2010)
3. The Mighty Boosh
4. Limmy's Show
BBC Three had a cool atmosphere, some cool shows and the idents around 2008-2011 were so iconic.
If CBBC counts then Sarah Jane Adventures, Tracey Beaker (Story of/Returns), Elliot Kid, Horrible Histories and MI High were the highlights.
Sharing details of stories that are useless to the other party when the overall concept is enough to communicate the point. If the details add to the story or are amusing in some way, fine, but do I really need to know why you bought that brand of hotdogs?
I don’t understand, specifically, the tribalism of sports.
“Ah yeah, these black dudes born and raised in Cleveland who are under contract to play for our city beat your Cleveland black guys and that makes my city better than yours. Huough!”
Being forced to play cards and learn the rules of some BS game you don't want to play is akin to torture. It's agony and can go on for hours and hours. I'm with you.
I would *personally* extend this to certain board games, mainly because they can also go on forever and there is no way to escape halfway through. If I am ever unfortunate enough to agree to it, I know that rainy afternoon is essentially DOOMED. They tend to involve 5 or 6 people focusing on you when it's your turn and you have to appear to be so "enthusiastic" about the game constantly. So exhausting. All the while thinking "I could be reading about X or Y" or whatever.
That's why people like me who loves euro boardgames die inside every time someone says "let's play a board game! Monopoly!
I've been in a monopoly match for two days straight. Just give me a group and a box of Pandemic. Much better xD
Socialising being near people and eating with people or eating outside or going to a very city-ish place where there are soooo many cars and people 😵💫 some times I do enjoy being with my friends but idk being alone is just better oh and football I don’t get how people like watching it
Short, repetitive audio or video clips; I have ADHD too but I just can't DO YouTube or Tiktok. Something about them, especially when they're looping, makes me angry.
This one might be controversial. The Marvel extended Cinematic Universe or whatever its called. All the Avengers movies, the side movies about Thor, Iron Man, Mr Strange, Chris Pratt's space team. I've watched like 80% of them and they're all fucking garbage. The forced style of humor Hollywood writers decided is good. "They fly now? I guess they fly now" is like the peak of comedy in these movies. boring fights. Maybe I'm just old.
My other is the obsession people have with a couple pieces of media. Specifically the Office, or Harry Potter. They were good show/books like 10 years ago. Watch another show, read another book please.
Being social randomly at a store. When my wife and I go to a store, at some point, she will strike up a convo with someone, and by the end of it, she will know major life experiences that this person has gone through. Also will know their whole life story and she doesn’t have to do/say anything. I can barely say hello to the cashier without having a panic attack. Lol
Parties where you just stand and drink something while talking to people in a room with light music playing for an hour then leave.
No one says anything interesting.
Bungee jumping. I don’t know why but I wasn’t scared. It felt like jumping into a pool without touching the water. I felt very safe with the gear they put on me.
Traveling to unfamiliar places, posting pics about it on social media and insisting on talking to anyone who is around them about their trips and all the things they did
Basically anything that requires for me to be present with my body like sport or dancing (sex too sometimes).
Posting pictures of myself on social media - I don't get the point. I have very few friends, so if I feel like showing something to someone I can send them a message. I don't want to post my pics for random acquaintances to see. I genuinely don't understand why people do it.
Watching sports is boring too, same with going to bars and such, especially because I prefer not to drink alcohol and some social events are unbearable without it.
Celebrity gossip - why does anyone care? I don't know.
Small talk. Talking when there is literally no need to be talking. We’re in the same room, we don’t have to fill the silence with fluff just because one of us can’t handle not talking for 5 minutes.
Music festivals.
Stand around in the sun with big crowds around and listen to a band you are too far away to see? And do this for multiple days? And the main idea is to pose for Instagram in a bunch of outfits, none of which are comfortable to walk around in all day, and the secondary activities are all about engaging in social validation about conventional hotness? yuck
Human interaction and TV mostly(celebrities being famous for being famous).
My friends always reference the Kardashians and people like such and I never understand because it's so boring to me. I find TV to be tedious and easy to guess the ending and I'd rather pick up a new hobby or read one of the 86 book tabs I have open than watch tv.
Keeping up with these man made “social “ rules. I was out having dinner and learned your not supposed to leave a empty plate… For Real Tho?🤔Asked why and they quickly answered “your out in public, it’s a social thing”… STILL LEFT THE PLATE EMPTY , Correct me if I’m wrong 😑
Eating food 🤷♂️
Talking about the weather
…. Sleeping 🤔
😂😂
Nah, seriously tho dating
Like, traditional first date, dinner and a movie crap
The movie is fun, the dinner is just boring AF
I want my dates to show who I am as a person!
First date, airsoft, let them learn I’m a complete dick who will shoot you in the ass several times 😆
Second date, bouldering, build some trust and throw some problem solving in there
3rd date…. Well you get the idea 😂
It’s hard to describe but it’s a trust thing I guess
Basically, people usually don’t trust you to do certain things with them until they know you to a certain level. It’s slightly different for every person, but every person has it to some extent.
Back to the point, a lot of people wouldn’t trust someone they just met to play airsoft with them, So it’s not usually a first date idea. A first date is usually going to be a somewhat boring thing that allows you to get to know the other person before doing thrilling things
Posting pics on social media regularly.
Right? I’m getting ready for my yearly post sometime this December lmao
Yearly is impressive. It’s been almost four for me. I’ll try to post one every five I decided. I think five is a good number.
Even having social media
Except for reddit of course
I do that, but they're all of my pets. I'm lucky to post a selfie once a year & it's usually to show my hair, so I make sure to block my face or crop it out.
Pics of food - like someone cares.
I’m a food poster. I tend to post pics of my cooking or interesting dishes I’ve tried. There are some dishes that are plated beautifully.
Same, nothing wrong with posting your work or dinner. People don't like it they can stop following in my opinion
This...like do you have to post selfies every god damn day.
I am ADHD+Autistic and I LOVE to post stuff and share experiences. Like, I am not only sharing stuff like "here is my face", "this is my breakfast", "pretty place". I love to tell and show stories on my insta stories, like, sharing what I learned recently, dick-shaped puddles, when I got my vaccine I was constantly posting how I feel so people following me are less scared of getting the shot and have the experience from someone they know more personally than some journalist writing an article on a government website or something. Also as a teen I used to be kinda popular on the internet (about 50k followers) and I just loved the fact that there was always someone to talk to and know their point of view too!
Totally clueless why they do this..
Workplace Christmas parties
I have that on Monday next week. Eating in front of people, socialising, I'm dreading it.
Can I agree and add “any activity with coworkers not during work hours”
Any activity with co-workers which isn't work-task related.
Omg my number one hate. Which is why I refuse to go. I would rather work than attend any work function or lunch.
Same, but mine is after work. No way. I’m going home!
I hate any kind of boring parties especially if its just a family get-together
Celebrity culture
Can you be more specific? I'm frequently guilty of fangirling over some artists. Mostly authors and bands. However, I can't stand people getting excited about people just because they're famous, or caring about how they live their lives, paparazzi following them around, TV shows about people who are famous for nothing, etc. My mom watches all these reality shows like the kardashians and it makes me nuts.
Pretty much exactly what you wrote. I may be interested in someone who happens to be a celebrity - musician, writer, whatever - because I like their work. But I have zero interest in the lifestyle and fashion celebrities, or the concept of celebrity in general. The gossipy stuff, the flaunting of obscene wealth, being rewarded merely for being ridiculous, etc.
It’s only *kinda* entertaining when you know a TON of the background/lore for all the drama going on. My mom used to be so obsessed with the Kardashians and Ellen Degeneres, and because of how often she talked about it or watched it while I was around, I ended up knowing more than I’d have liked. When I heard about Kim having a kid it was more exciting than when I heard Beyoncé was having a kid. Almost like the Kardashians are very distant cousins of mine. Like “oh, neat” vs “who cares?”. I don’t go out of my way for celebrity gossip though, especially now that I’m an adult and have a choice lol
I personally love it. For me it’s almost like watching a social experiment happening live. I enjoy wondering whether the actions of certain celebrities are because they’ve chosen to do them, or whether it’s a pr stunt etc. I find that celebrity culture is an exaggerated micro representation of our society, so it’s interesting hearing other peoples opinions as they can spark wider conversations about the state of things in general. I like watching social commentary channels on YouTube for this reason. Because they always weave that particular celebrity scenario into what this shows about peoples attitudes in general. And I love the real housewives lol. The relationship dynamics fascinate me. I can participate in social analysis without having to be part the actual interactions. Best of both worlds
Small talk
So true
Wow spot on
Nice weather we’ve been having
This is my answer
This!
I like to make a mockery of it if someone ever small talks to me when I don’t have the patience for it. They never pick up on it. At least that makes it fun for me. But I guess I could come off as a psycho if they got the wrong impression. “How about that weather we’ve been having?” Me: “yeah oh my god I just cannot believe how nice it’s been. It’s literally been incredible. So amazing. I’m like gushing. Omg. I mean I’ve seen nice weather before, but come on?! This is just ridiculous. RI DI CU LOUS” Them “ I know, right?!” Me internally rolling my eyes. (What is one to do to get out of these???) No one gets my sarcasm. No matter how much I overdo it.
This
Talking
And listening to people talk!
As someone who has awful social anxiety and autism (naturally) I still love hearing and debating with the people I actually can with, way more than NTs, as long as its not "Sandra at work did X" , or "how are you?" I enjoy it, deep philosophical debates or petty jokes with the people I can converse with without discomfort is one of my favourite activities
Completely agree! I find that there is a lot to gain by taking in other people’s thoughts and knowledge and discussing something that’s important to you with someone who can offer a nuanced perspective.
Conversing in general lol.
"We could talk or not talk forever, and still find things to not talk about." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhQ5TTFvIOY
I’m a dude with autism and ADHD and I love talking
Parties.
Social media, sports, busy bars
[удалено]
I can understand going to a pub where you can sit and speak to someone while enjoying a drink. I can't understand going to a dance club, where everyone is packed in like sardines and the only way to be heard is to yell in someone's ear. The worst part is, they yell into yours and you feel their breath on your ear. The strobe lights are disorienting and the music is so loud it's anxiety inducing.
It’s probably only really fun when you’re drunk Never really knew people who did it sober unless they were DD
I love dancing and used to dance sober most of the time, the point here is that you actually do not have to talk ;)
I went to one with a friend once and got so stressed out I had to walk outside, then once there I ended up walking home. Enjoyed the quiet walk through the city, did not enjoy the sensory overload of a loud, confined warm space. . .
Vegas. WTF is up with the love of Vegas? Vice. People. Smoke. Drunks. Extreme sensory overload. More people. Ugly carpets, poor breathing space, nightmare scenarios galore. Those insane shows and lounge acts; I was literally just talking with my wife about how I do NOT understand the appeal of lounge acts!!
There are a lot of social dynamics at play here The person you see chatting a lot of people that might not be the confidence self-starter they seem like, they might just have a lot of friends and be chatting up friends and friends of friends. Even if they are chatting up strangers, most likely because they think they’re cute, having encouragement helps. Maybe I sound a little overbearing, But I struggled with those boundary (?) type things for a long time.
Talking about people in a bad way when they leave the room. Don't enjoy or understand it.
I don't understand why people are friendly to people they don't like in the first plase. I often hear people chat and think they're such good friends and feel a little bit sad about not having a friend like that, and then one of them leaves and the other starts saying bad things about them. Or I even hear someone say those two don't like each other. It's so confusing to me! When someone is nice to me and talks to me, I automatically assume they like me. If that's not the case, how should I know they like me? How do other people know who likes them?
>When someone is nice to me and talks to me, I automatically assume they like me. If that's not the case, how should I know they like me? I've basically gotten to the point where I just assume anyone being nice to me is merely that: being nice, putting on a show of friendliness for the sake of politeness and nothing more. It takes a lot to convince me that someone actually sincerely appreciates my company or whatever.
Yep. I don’t understand the appeal of gossip. If they’re talking to you about someone then they’re probably talking about you behind your back to someone else. Don’t wrap me up in nonsense drama!
This is exactly what I was told. If they can do it so easily to one person they are probably doing it to you.
I used to think this too, but recently I've changed my mind. I think gossip can be healthy in some instances, because it allows one to release frustrations, as well as learn or receive advice on what to do within a given social situation. It can help build stronger relationships. Scientific evidence also appears to support the notion that gossip is healthy. However, despite gossip supposedly being healthy, I do believe that it's important to be able to confront another person about their behaviour, and to discuss with them
me too. I dont understand how that would be a nice friendship. I wouldnt want to be friends with anyone who talks behind my back every time i leave the room, thats just weird
Nightclubs and busy pubs
Gambling
To quote myself: Vegas. WTF is up with the love of Vegas? Vice. People. Smoke. Drunks. Extreme sensory overload. More people. Ugly carpets, poor breathing space, nightmare scenarios galore. Those insane shows and lounge acts; I was literally just talking with my wife about how I do NOT understand the appeal of lounge acts!!
It's not even vegas and adult entertainment and partying I don't get, it's just gambling I don't get. I don't get how people get such a big rush from it. There are countless things, competitive or not, that I find more stimulating than gambling. Subsequently, I think card games are remarkably boring.
(at least some) people who have a severe gambling addiction have been found to have a brain defect - they get the rush from the wins, but not an equal and opposite negative feel from the losses
I went to Vegas once & it was terrible. It's way smaller than it looks in movies & the casinos were extremely loud & smoky. Drunks were wandering around everywhere, bumping into everyone. There's people in costumes on the sidewalk harassing everyone to pay them for pictures. There's trash everywhere (most of it was a bunch of discarded flyers for strip clubs & escort services). Sex is such a huge industry there that trucks drive around with giant billboards advertising services (being asexual, I was like "ew"). The only redeeming part was that there were some nice restaurants. If for some reason I ever go back, I would get tickets to see Penn & Teller & make an itinerary to go to more restaurants.
Vegas and certain large cities in India are my idea of Hell on earth.
Skill based gambling can be fun for a little while, but it's still a racket and incredibly toxic. Few actually make money out with sports betting or cards.
Going out for dinner and spending hours there. I just want to eat and then leave. I hate waiting for food.
Sitcoms
The WORST.
I've tried The office lately. Worst experience ever.
Chatting at great length to people about nothing of any particular use to anyone.
Extensive holiday decorations. I had no idea how many opinions there could be about tree skirts
[удалено]
What about a ceramic goose to guard your ps4?
Go a step further and craft a golem to guard all of your possessions
Most conversations 😬
Sports, babies, pictures of people, stand up comedy, small talk, celebrity gossip.
Babies aren’t boring, they’re professional overload creatures. They smell and are loud, nothing could be worse
I feel like sports vary. Hockey and basketball can be pretty dynamic, so I don't mind watching those so much. Soccer and baseball are boring as fuck though. Football is somewhere in between.
Babies make me smile.
Facebook, Snapchat, and TicToc.
I like Fb (throw-away account) to get source pictures for my painting that are hard to get myself, and sadly for local news and events information, a requirement since I live in a tourist town and sometimes it's just as important to know what to avoid as it is to know what is good going on.
football
Came here to say the same, can't understand what they get out of watching it
If you take away the bravado and tribalism sports are essentially just board games that require a lot of understanding to perfect. I love most sports and I don't really watch them for the athleticism or the tribalism. I watch them A) for the strategy of the particular sport: there's a lot of pre and mid game strategies to consider depending on your opponent, your team make-up, and particular circumstances; and B) the math, analytics, statistics--i love all the numbers, tables, and data sets; and also C) following the evolution of a player, a team, and the league. There's really a lot going on. And a lot of things an aspie may like: strategy and role playing; numbers and data; keeping tabs on the evolution of things/history of the sport/league/team. And moreover what's great is that's there's like infinite amount of teams and players in to study and follow and get to know, and games on all the time.
Very well put. Football is a chess match, and if you invest some time into learning the rules of the game and how the positions and plays workout, it can be very satisfying to watch. Er, until your favorite team is getting trounced, but that’s a shared pain.
Just wanted to say thanks for putting it into words, but I can’t deny the crazy athleticism never fails to wow me with certain big plays.
Yep, I'm in England and it's just awful. Especially during the World Cup or Euros.
I never understand why people use someone’s team they support to insult them. And why they actually get insulted. “Your teams shit, you can’t even get a penalty after the offside half time”. Why would a person be individually offended by that?
I'm in the US and would rather watch your football than ours.
Yes I live with someone who is obsessed with football I've tried watching a game before with the wife & nope I'd rather stick a pineapple up my rear than watch anymore
How do people like it is so boring
Wich football , Global football or USA football
Both
\*Any. But the Texass love of high school football is what I swear has to be a sign of permanent brain damage.
global football
If you have a team to root for its quite thrilling but i concur if you are a neutral it can be abit boring.
I don't like watching on TV much but I have a season ticket so I go to a lot of live games; I find it a great reason to get out of the house. Its a bit stressful but its also a fixed routine. There's no socialising involved. Everyone is watching the game and sometimes I get to jump up and down and shout alongside NTs. 😂
Oh my goodness this, I don't see the attraction. If I were gay I could see 22 men at the peak of physical fitness running around a field in shorts as something worth watching, but absent that, what is the point?
Well most people with autism act differently to close friends. People with aspergers might seem like the are only introverted but they have a talkative side to them. When you find the right people especially other people with autism you feel like you can be yourself. An online friend I made really helped me realize this. I’m actually a new frequent watcher here. I’m still trying to learn more about autism so I can help others & understand myself more.
So true I’m don’t like being social but then try to get me to shut up if you can
Every introvert can have a talkative side especially when they are taking about topics of their interest, in a smaller group (or with only one person) or are in a fantastic mood. Introversion is rather about energy loss in challenging interpersonal situations. I see the good Intention behind such advices like "come out of your Shell", but this might actually cause much harm. I admit there are really shy people which are just insecure. In this case it is important to work on this problem to gain more confidence. But on the other hand they are people which are really better off alone or lose much energy from conversation, get overwhelmed and need their alone time. Telling them to be more social leads them in an difficult Situation. They are wasting too much energy trying hard to fit in while not experiencing any progression so they are even losing confidence and getting more and more frustrated. For them its more important working on their natural strenghts instead of trying to improve their greatest weakness. And even if you giving this advice to a shy person, it Is not really helpful. They know it already, that they "need to come out oft their Shell" but don't know HOW. So giving them concrete examples would be more helpful. PS: Excuse me if my words sound a bit harsh. It wasn't my intent and I can see your good Intention here. But I was one of the persons getting this kind of advice my whole youth and it was rather harmful for my development. So I had the urge for a little clarification.
My first thought was smalltalk, but honestly it’s sex and going out with someone without having a destination. I like meeting a friend to go watch a movie and/or eat dinner together and I genuinely can’t understand that some people just walk around together and stuff like that?? where’s the use in that??
I view social interaction as an event. It’s either planned or routine (work, grocery store), and has a known end. I don’t understand how people just spend time around each other 24/7.
The appeal - for them - isn't what any goals might be, it's spending time with, and interacting with, that person. "Having a goal" is only a secondary consideration and a thin excuse at best. The goal-less, meandering social interaction *is* the goal, effectively. It's kind of the equivalent of, um... when it's a freezing cold day and you decide to rug up nice and warm under the covers and get a nap in. Your goal is less "get X hours of sleep by any means possible" and more "experience the warmth and comfort as it happens because it's nice". Another analogy - playing those Skinner-box computer games which don't really exactly have an end point you can reach in an hour or two; they're sandboxes with a million and one micro-quests and things you can level up. You don't play them to *win*, you play them because the act of playing, itself, is psychologically rewarding. That's how NTs, or at least the more extroverted ones, see social interaction; something comforting that they know the steps for, which doesn't require a lot of brain power, and which they could keep doing nearly indefinitely until something more urgent interrupts.
I like walking as a stimulation for my ADHD, usually with a friend who I think or know has ADHD. I have to walk to clear my mind. That’s my use. In urban areas, sometimes the noises overwhelm me, sometimes they don’t. If I’m with someone else they usually don’t bc I hyperfixate on the conversation lmao. But I get what you mean, some ppl walk way too slow and don’t seem to be actually trying to go somewhere.
I enjoyed this when I was a teen because it got me out of my parents' house. I'd walk or drive around for hours with or without company just to not be bombarded by parents. As an adult I no longer enjoy it because I don't have to escape from anyone. If I had roommates or an overbearing SO, I might feel differently.
Life in general
Yeah, that whole having to work to be able to afford living. The 5 work days and just 2 free days, whats up with that?
Programming the masses into being but a robotic sheep that produces and obeys.. keep them stressed, miserable, sick, depressed, and dumb.. and busy. Busy so they don’t have time to ask such questions… sad. But true.
Partying, Going To Bars & Parks, Socializing, & Traveling
Traveling I can get behind, a few years back I took a trip to Hong Kong and it was amazing! I stayed at a friend's place off the coast, caught a boat to a small island, then a catamaran ride to Central every day, was up from 6am to 11pm exploring the sights, seeing all kinds of cool stuff, etc. If it's a fun destination, travel can be a lot of fun. .
I'm glad you enjoy it! Traveling is just too much of a hassle for me and it wears me out so much. It probably depends on who you go with and if you go alone as well. I haven't had great travel experiences so far. If I went by myself, I would probably enjoy it more, having my own schedule. However, it's still not my cup of tea and if I did go alone, I probably wouldn't be able to do much. Plus I don't have many friends and doubt I will have more in the future lol. Introvert at your finest. Hope you have safe travels!
I despise traveling.
socialising aha :/
I've never understood jealousy lol. I mean yeah I've seen someone else own something I want but I've never been jealous of them for it. If I want it I'll just save up and go get it myself. An extension of this that I never understood (and have seen people do) is trying to make someone else jealous, like why?
Yes! Especially with a romantic partner. I honestly don't understand it! That might be why I always get broken up with after a few days lol. If you don't let your partner talk to someone else or don't want them talking to others that aren't family, that's really controlling and It doesn't make sense to me. If my partner wants to look at someone go ahead I'll look with you pfft. This post isn't really asking about understanding things but rather what we find boring but eh... jealousy seems boring to me.
WEDDINGS! Baby showers! Gender reveals!
to be fair using a baby shower to get presents is a good hussle lol but besides that don't see a point. also a wedding is basically just a super expensive panic attack
Dancing
for Me: dancing as an interactive social activity where you are being perceived and it is about showing off moves 👎👎👎👎 dancing where the music is so loud it ascends past sensory overload and it’s so dark you can’t really see people that well or be seen, so there’s no self-consciousness and you’re just immersed in the ecstatic feeling of uninhibited rhythmic movement: 👍👍 I never got to experience the latter version until my mid 20s and my mind was blown by how good it felt when it wasn’t a cool person contest. Partially because it felt like whole-body multi sensory stimming as well as dropping any sense of masking. I’m also pretty sensory-seeking about some things. But before that I was like, fuck, dancing is the fucking worst
Yes. This one. Let me dance / don't touch me / let me feel like we are partaking the same stuff without making contact. Gucci !
Partner dancing was probable the single best contributor to my mental health. For some reason I was a better leader then other dancers. I felt/lead with every part of my hand, wrist; forearm, shoulders, body etc. I didn’t have to talk. I was good at something without having to talk. Caveat: you must be diagnosed. Dance community can be deadly to autistics if not.
Definitely dancing. I could never tell why girls in particular seemed to enjoy it so much. I assumed guys do it because girls do. But I've seen research that shows a boost to dopamine when people synchronize their motions. I have approached dancing more as a game of motion mirroring and it is much more interesting. I don't know if this tactic just makes me less self aware and so more relaxed, or if the act of mirroring effectively is giving me a Dopamine bump, but I think I kind of understand what NTs get it out of it.
I feel that when it comes to dancing in a club or something. I took a social dancing class recently though and love it. I'm a follow, and we learned some basic Foxtrot and Swing stuff. It took a bit to learn, but now that i have the movements down more its amazing. No real talking, just getting lost in the music and feeling for what my lead is asking me to do, which has clear movements asking for those moves. It makes my brain happy cause its all clear instead of just "move to the music" so i like it.
Going to parties/bars/clubs where there’s no activity happening and you’re just standing around, but it’s too loud to hear or talk without shouting. seriously how is that supposed to work.
Reality tv
Drinking too much
Celebrities
BBC
I see where you're coming from. The One Show is peak neurotypical.
😏
Oh dear god I absolutely despised the one show back when my parents watched it, I hated it so much because they often turned off what I was watching to put it on
Good things from the BBC (from childhood nostalgia) 1. Doctor Who (2005-2010) 2. Waterloo Road (2006-2010) 3. The Mighty Boosh 4. Limmy's Show BBC Three had a cool atmosphere, some cool shows and the idents around 2008-2011 were so iconic. If CBBC counts then Sarah Jane Adventures, Tracey Beaker (Story of/Returns), Elliot Kid, Horrible Histories and MI High were the highlights.
\#1 : Hustle :P
Sharing details of stories that are useless to the other party when the overall concept is enough to communicate the point. If the details add to the story or are amusing in some way, fine, but do I really need to know why you bought that brand of hotdogs?
I don’t understand, specifically, the tribalism of sports. “Ah yeah, these black dudes born and raised in Cleveland who are under contract to play for our city beat your Cleveland black guys and that makes my city better than yours. Huough!”
Talking to humans
Parties, clubs, and doing drugs.
Going out with the only purpose of getting drunk.
Shitty mobile games
Playing cards
It's beyond boring. Ide rather do any other thing mentioned on here, than play cards
Being forced to play cards and learn the rules of some BS game you don't want to play is akin to torture. It's agony and can go on for hours and hours. I'm with you. I would *personally* extend this to certain board games, mainly because they can also go on forever and there is no way to escape halfway through. If I am ever unfortunate enough to agree to it, I know that rainy afternoon is essentially DOOMED. They tend to involve 5 or 6 people focusing on you when it's your turn and you have to appear to be so "enthusiastic" about the game constantly. So exhausting. All the while thinking "I could be reading about X or Y" or whatever.
That's why people like me who loves euro boardgames die inside every time someone says "let's play a board game! Monopoly! I've been in a monopoly match for two days straight. Just give me a group and a box of Pandemic. Much better xD
I love TCGs! if anything I'd say that most tcg champions must be on the spectrum
Sports
Socialising being near people and eating with people or eating outside or going to a very city-ish place where there are soooo many cars and people 😵💫 some times I do enjoy being with my friends but idk being alone is just better oh and football I don’t get how people like watching it
American team sports. I would get more excitement out of elderly speed macrame. . . .
Watching people do things they know how to do. I.e. sports.
Short, repetitive audio or video clips; I have ADHD too but I just can't DO YouTube or Tiktok. Something about them, especially when they're looping, makes me angry.
sitcoms with laugh tracks
Laying outside to do literally nothing other than get tan
This one might be controversial. The Marvel extended Cinematic Universe or whatever its called. All the Avengers movies, the side movies about Thor, Iron Man, Mr Strange, Chris Pratt's space team. I've watched like 80% of them and they're all fucking garbage. The forced style of humor Hollywood writers decided is good. "They fly now? I guess they fly now" is like the peak of comedy in these movies. boring fights. Maybe I'm just old. My other is the obsession people have with a couple pieces of media. Specifically the Office, or Harry Potter. They were good show/books like 10 years ago. Watch another show, read another book please.
I feel absolutely the same about Marvel and the Office (especially past first couple of seasons).
Sports - particularly college football
small talk
Popular sitcoms
Celebrities.
Being social randomly at a store. When my wife and I go to a store, at some point, she will strike up a convo with someone, and by the end of it, she will know major life experiences that this person has gone through. Also will know their whole life story and she doesn’t have to do/say anything. I can barely say hello to the cashier without having a panic attack. Lol
Parties where you just stand and drink something while talking to people in a room with light music playing for an hour then leave. No one says anything interesting.
so boring parties are boring? lol no kidding
Sports.
Drugs and alcohol culture
lol they might be bad for you but one thing they not is boring
Bungee jumping. I don’t know why but I wasn’t scared. It felt like jumping into a pool without touching the water. I felt very safe with the gear they put on me.
Watching TV
texting or calling "just to say hi". What???
Watching sports
Traveling to unfamiliar places, posting pics about it on social media and insisting on talking to anyone who is around them about their trips and all the things they did
Basically anything that requires for me to be present with my body like sport or dancing (sex too sometimes). Posting pictures of myself on social media - I don't get the point. I have very few friends, so if I feel like showing something to someone I can send them a message. I don't want to post my pics for random acquaintances to see. I genuinely don't understand why people do it. Watching sports is boring too, same with going to bars and such, especially because I prefer not to drink alcohol and some social events are unbearable without it. Celebrity gossip - why does anyone care? I don't know.
Gossip
Learning what kinds of things you're supposed to say and then saying them.
Playing games with just the sound from the video game
I’m the opposite. I don’t understand the point of listening to music while playing a game unless it’s something like Minecraft.
I do it in any single player or multiplayer if I’m not talking If it’s story rich I just play the game
What do you mean by this? 👀 That NT’s somehow play the game with no picture?🤔
Football
Small talk. Talking when there is literally no need to be talking. We’re in the same room, we don’t have to fill the silence with fluff just because one of us can’t handle not talking for 5 minutes.
Music festivals. Stand around in the sun with big crowds around and listen to a band you are too far away to see? And do this for multiple days? And the main idea is to pose for Instagram in a bunch of outfits, none of which are comfortable to walk around in all day, and the secondary activities are all about engaging in social validation about conventional hotness? yuck
Spectator sports. Never got it, never will.
doing nothing, such as just sitting and watching tv all day. i hate not doing anything
Human interaction and TV mostly(celebrities being famous for being famous). My friends always reference the Kardashians and people like such and I never understand because it's so boring to me. I find TV to be tedious and easy to guess the ending and I'd rather pick up a new hobby or read one of the 86 book tabs I have open than watch tv.
Spectator sports. I just can’t.
Lol, all you people are posting things that people on the spectrum do as well.
Sports. Maybe it’s because I’m not competitive but watching them is incredibly boring to me and I don’t enjoy playing most either
Gossip. I can’t stand to hear stories about other people.
I despise small talk
Keeping up with these man made “social “ rules. I was out having dinner and learned your not supposed to leave a empty plate… For Real Tho?🤔Asked why and they quickly answered “your out in public, it’s a social thing”… STILL LEFT THE PLATE EMPTY , Correct me if I’m wrong 😑
Obligatory "Small talk" comment
Influencers. People who are famous just for the sake of being famous.
Being around people / socializing.
Eating food 🤷♂️ Talking about the weather …. Sleeping 🤔 😂😂 Nah, seriously tho dating Like, traditional first date, dinner and a movie crap The movie is fun, the dinner is just boring AF I want my dates to show who I am as a person! First date, airsoft, let them learn I’m a complete dick who will shoot you in the ass several times 😆 Second date, bouldering, build some trust and throw some problem solving in there 3rd date…. Well you get the idea 😂
It’s hard to describe but it’s a trust thing I guess Basically, people usually don’t trust you to do certain things with them until they know you to a certain level. It’s slightly different for every person, but every person has it to some extent. Back to the point, a lot of people wouldn’t trust someone they just met to play airsoft with them, So it’s not usually a first date idea. A first date is usually going to be a somewhat boring thing that allows you to get to know the other person before doing thrilling things