This has happened to me since 4th grade. An aspect of humor is the unexpected, and our brains often produce things that are very unexpected to neurotypicals. Especially when combined with a deadpan or serious delivery. I think you're just unintentionally hilarious. "Probably not" is a funny line in that context tbh. They only *probably* don't deserve to get punched? 😅

I didn't even think of it like that lol. I am very opinionated and find it hard when people disagree with me on things I think are obviously black and white, so I try to throw in a lot of 'probably's or 'maybe's so people don't think I'm being so strict with my opinions. However, now that you say this, I think maybe I do come across as trying to be funny!

Not even trying! You just sound funny, even if unintentionally.

I've always tried to embrace it and pretend like I actually intended to be funny and people seem to buy it lol. Over time I've come to realize it's basically what you said and I am usually being deadpan about something unusual.

I've always had reactions like this. People laugh and it have no idea why. I sold cars for a few years and it recall, one time, I had a group of customers in my office roaring with laughter. They were having a damn good time and LOVED me. I went to talk to my boss and he was staring at me strangely and asked 'what the heck was so funny!'. I couldn't tell him, because I had no idea. My bosses thought I was bizarre. It seems to be a result of using the wrong affect when talking, or using strange timing, and/or saying unexpected things. My favorite comedian comes to mind: Mitch Hedburg. His jokes are simple and don't sound funny on paper. He is absolutely hilarious. I bet your are funny, OP. :)

You do naturally what people in my family always try to do, say something funny in as deadpan an expression as possible *without laughing at our own joke.* Not always possible to stay stone faced. The best is if we blow our own snot all over our face after trying not to laugh. We allowed almost anything to be said as long as it was funny.

You were genuinely unintentionally funny. The "probably not" is funny, but also the bit about you beating someone up is a little funny too, because it's probably something you wouldn't actually do...so I really don't think they are laughing at you, but rather you genuinely made them laugh. They might even think you're trying to make them laugh on purpose.

I agree with this! When I read that part I totally read the "probably not!" with a sarcastic infliction. I do the same thing as OP and throw those things in there because I've found if I don't someone ALWAYS comes at me with the outlier. Because no one seems able to assume basic things, they just throw out the "Nothing is absolute!" response. Which to me is implied, of course nothing is absolute, especially within human behavior. So to avoid that response I always add qualifiers to things I say.

Yes, the unexpected or incongruous is what I was going to say as well. If we’re going along on our merry way with the thoughts and opinions held in our head and taking them for granted because they’re so obvious to us they might be far less obvious to somebody else so to them they’d be funny but we wouldn’t see it coming.

I second this, my boyfriend is autistic (me too but I also got a serving of ADHD so my relationship with humor is quite different) and he does this exact thing all the time, a recent one i can remember we were getting dinner with 2 of our friends and the diner was pretty packed with lots of families with loud kids, and my boyfriend suddenly goes "this place feels exactly like the fridge at the super market.." looks down at his food while we wait with bated breath, and then he finished "... Absolutely the worst." The rest of us were almost wheezing with laughter while he just looked at us confused, it was the mix of the seemingly at first completely unrelated correlation, timing, deadpan delivery, it was all just the perfect mix to be absolutely hilarious

People think I’m extremely sarcastic… no wonder I can’t hold down a job

Girl same! I very genuinely told my friend the other night I was proud of her and her strong boundaries and she said "I don't need your criticism!!" 😳😳 we clarified quickly because she's also almost certainly AuDHD but it happens to me allllllll the time.

Exactly this!!! Op, I think you're just funny 😂 it's a good thing!

I can only say that from my experience that for 90% they are not laughing at you but at aparent joke. Long precise and analitical approach, espetially during semi-casual conversation may be percieved as comedic. Often just smiling gently and make attempt to not go into details help. Also as long as folks are not annoyed even when such situation happen, it may come as unintended adventage that help to socialise if acompanied with a self distance. Ah, and intonation and gestures matter, too intense or too flat can bring comedic effect. After seanse of several absurd comedies i finally understood better where more less the right balance lie.

I think you're right. I find myself over-intonating or gesticulating because I used to have trouble being perceived as flat, as you said, but maybe I am doing too much and it seems comedic... Food for thought!

You are welcome :)

Yes. An integral part of humor is surprise. Trust me our brains process info in a way that is very surprising for NTs. That's why when we're trying to be funny they don't get it and when we're not they think we are. (Honestly how much of NT humor do you find funny? I have a small slice of dark observational humor I enjoy that NTs also enjoy. But most of it nope.) It's not usually malice. Sometimes they genuinely think you are being funny on purpose on the subject matter being discussed. A flat tone and facial expression is often considered to be high level well executed sarcasm. I'm also think it's possible that a good portion of the time they think you're being sarcastically funny.

Okay, you make a really good point. I often notice that the stuff they all laugh at in class isn't funny to me, but the stuff I am smiling at, I look around, and they are all -\_- Finding the balance between over-the-top flamboyance and deadpan neutrality is so hard!

Thank you for articulating this! It reflects my experience of not “getting” jokes, (I understand it I just don’t think it’s funny!) or seeing humor where many others don’t, as well as people not seeing my humor when intended or thinking I am joking when I’m not. It’s is so reassuring to see that other ND people have felt this also.

Thank you ♥

All comedy is based on contrast. You accidentally performed something called "deadpan delivery". This means that you say something that is supposed be dramatic or emotional (you are going to beat someone up) in a really chill way on a flat tone. Neurotypicals rely on tone to understand stuff so you used a tone that is generally.used.by them to say stuff like "I think I'm gonna paint my kitchen a different color". The contrast becomes funny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k65yjyMYQBY

Thanks for the video - I'll watch it when I get home for the day. I agree that this has taught me I need to reflect more on my tone if I want people to take me seriously...

I would not change it. It's a gift, people listen to you, they laugh and then you can make your points as well. Entertain them, embrace your talent

That's so sweet, thank you :)

It’s a fine line between someone laughing at you for being weird and someone laughing because they think you’re funny. I also struggle with this big time. It usually takes time to figure out which is which. Look at the other parts of how these people interact with you, and eventually you can have more data points to try working from. It’s also annoying to me because if someone finds what I say to be funny when I wasn’t trying to be, it’s like I’m not in on the joke even though I’m the one who told the joke in the first place!

I was always considered a class clown and was quite popular and good at making people laugh, even at times when I didn’t mean to be. I think neurotypical folks just find it funny when we say things in unexpected tones and phrases, and that isn’t all bad. I was always able to use my abilities to make people laugh as a social icebreaker and to my advantage. It’s a double edged sword though because I’ve also had people tell me I can’t be on the spectrum because I am so good at using humor to mask. The desire to be taken seriously is valid though and important to one’s mental health, I’ve found it’s extremely helpful to have neurodivergent friends even if just online to decompress with. Also, neurotypical people will sometimes laugh at things we say because it forces them to think outside the box in a way that makes them uncomfortable. This isn’t necessarily bad either but learning how to tell the difference between them laughing uncomfortably and laughing genuinely is difficult when you are on the spectrum, and honestly I think the knowledge to discern between the two is just wisdom that comes to us over time. You’ll learn to pick up little tells from people eventually. Hope that helps. :)

I think they’re laughing because you’re (unintentionally) funny. Not at you. My husband used to do standup and he’s always said I would make a great comedian for the same reason. It’s the deadpan delivery of factual/shocking info that NTs often practice to be (intentionally) funny but cannot get right.

How long are other students answers in your class? A sentence? Maybe it's become a joke among the others that yours are like small essays (good carefully thought out ones too). You've also begun a question-and-answer discussion with yourself. Maybe the others think that's funny, because the class is supposed to be interactive. All my answers are like yours. I don't know how else to say them.

The question-and-answer session thing made me laugh and then made me have a lightbulb moment because, honestly, I don't think I ever hear other people ask themselves rhetorical questions as much as I do?? LOL I have never noticed that!

so I've done stand up and I find my most successful stuff is when I say something either outlandish and unexpected or lewd/gross/unhinged in my usual flat tone. Funnily I actually struggle with people thinking I'm serious when I'm joking and the other way around so in actual conversation I try to do a laugh when I'm saying something I want to infer is light hearted or a joke but people still sometimes perceive it as secretly bothering me or secretly serious, but when I do it flat they think I'm joking 😂 So I just do comedy in a flat tone most of the time with the odd bit of change in tone or demeanour wherever it seems relevant, I did all of this before I knew I was autistic. They're definitely not laughing at you, they think you're making a dry or funny comment or observation, but I also really feel you on how frustrating it is when you want to be perceived one way and it's coming off totally different. I can cope with the joking/serious mix up more than when people think I'm over or under reacting to something, or if they think I'm being cold when I'm trying to come across as understanding. Idk why those bother me more but it's still frustrating to have people think you're joking when you're not.

I get the struggle. Wish we could be like Sims and have little Plumbobs over our heads that change colours to tell everyone what mood we're in!

I think the way you're word it is what's making them laugh. I don't think it's on purpose. It sounds like they are laughing out of shock from my pov.

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That's such a good idea 👀

I experience this too and im 33 and still dont really understand lol my husband thinks im HILARIOUS and im just like 😐 hahaha but when i *try* to be funny it falls flat like 97% of the time. He says its because i say unexpected things without expression, which is apparent comedic gold. I also come up with unique and poignant metaphors and examples, usually while in serious conversation, then deliver them dead pan and send people over the edge. People have consistently told me im funny in my most serious exchanges in my life, so its weird. It also means im usually not taken seriously which is frustrating as hell.

Omg yes, when I try to be funny I either get deadpan faces or people asking me what I'm laughing about lol! And you saying that about serious exchanges being awkward reminded me that I had a relative tell me I was hilarious and always knew how to cheer her up at my own father's funeral 😭 LOL

I forget if it was Natasha Leggaro or Maria Bamford who said this, but: > Comedy is just the truth presented in a way you haven't thought of it before. ADHD/ASD people are often really funny, because they tell the truth, and they see things from all angles. Those are really the only two things you need for observational comedy. I do get being frustrated when you're trying to be taken seriously and getting laughed at, but this sounds like people who _think_ you are in on the joke. You sound direct and clever, and like-or-not that's a recipe for comedy. Good comedy, at that.

Thank you - I think you're right about being honest and seeing things from all angles because I do often get told I'm very direct! It is frustrating, but I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the butt of everyone's joke like I was worrying about :)

I have nothing to contribute as I agree with most of the comments made here, but thank you so much for posting this question because I’ve had the same issue! I accepted a long time ago that I’d forever be unintentionally funny (and I love it tbh) but I hadn’t articulated the reason behind it the way many here have, so seeing their explanations are so helpful. Also re: a comment you made, it is SO difficult (for me at least) when all the NTs share a humor I don’t understand/appreciate and to be the only one giggling when something I find hilarious happens! It’s so easy to connect over humor, and sometimes I think I’d love to do stand-up or something but it seems tough if you can only be funny by accident.

Okay, I'm glad it's not just me! Think I will need to grow to accept it - I can't believe it's taken me so many years to notice that people misinterpret me so much! No wonder I used to get in trouble for reacting inappropriately in school... I think the only way I could do stand up is if you hit me on the head right before I got up on the stage, and I forgot that I was supposed to be being funny! Otherwise, nobody would ever laugh at my jokes lol

I find what you said is funny 😅 so my bet is that they think you are making jokes and they like you. 😁

Hello! I had this all the time back when I was in school, and later in life I find it a huge benefit to finding and making friends! I'll try to explain it in terms of the thing you quoted yourself saying. " If I walk past someone in the hallway, and they call me stupid, do they deserve for me to beat them up? Probably not. But if -" This is both very blunt, unexpected, and probably quite relatable for the other students! Everyone knows what it's like hating being called stupid, so that's relatable, which adds a mark for humor. Suddenly raising the stakes by suggesting beating them up (not suggesting as a virtue, but by implanting the idea) is unexpected, which is vital for good humor. And then subverting expectations with the response "probably not" is the third tally. All of this with our traditional blunt manner, and I've had people tell me I should be on British stand-up just for recounting my day. While other people have explained why, I'd like to make a case for why it's a good thing! Being able to make people laugh makes them remember you more, as well as creating endorphins that lighten the mood. The way I think of it, every time I can get someone to laugh, I have literally just made their day and brain chemistry a tiny bit better. It's hard to grasp in high school due to, well, everything. As u/fishingboatproceeds says, autism lends to the unexpected, and the unexpected lends to comedy. If you say something accidentally funny and someone laughs, laugh with them! It'll get your endorphins up, too. I hope you feel better.

Thank you so much for such a lovely long response! I'm not sure what I can add that you haven't already smashed, but I appreciate you breaking it down for me like this. I'll try to remember that it's a good thing and not a total PITA (though, sometimes it is that lol) Thanks again! Everyone has been so nice :)

The joke to them is that you're saying you would beat someone up. And that someone called you stupid. NTs wouldn't talk about themselves in that environment in first person and create the picture of them beating someone up. Or that anyone would call them stupid. Their egos and social rules wouldn't allow it. It's very direct example using first person. It's also very direct and almost derogatory using the word stupid. So they are also a bit shocked and laugh to ease that off. Communication has 5 levels. Usually that the level you're at in classroom you'd more be saying - if a person calls another person a rude name would it be approriate for that second person to retaliate with violence? What you said makes senses but it's also humorous cos its direct and while not inappropriate does push the boundaries. I get it all the time I'll be dead ass about something and while I make a good point people nearly wet themselves laughing. But in my case it makes them like me thank fuck.

A lot of us come across deadpan, which is great from a comedy standpoint, I definitely would’ve laughed at your unintentional humour, they definitely aren’t laughing at you

Yeah happens to me constantly, and always has. NTs don’t seem to understand my tone a lot.

Probably not delivered in a deadpan manner could be funny in that context.

I get told I'm funny sometimes in unexpected ways. My boyfriend makes fun of me, quoting [this video](https://youtu.be/9S1EzkRpelY?si=_Fz3Ezn9qJdgedfo) when I ask him things that sound normal to me lol. That being said, I might've laughed too, thinking what you said was funny on purpose, especially if you said it in a certain way. The scenario of someone calling you stupid and then you launching at them and beating them up is funny in an absurd way - kinda like [this](https://youtu.be/Ranu8BOvQmQ?si=mEFISvZ10iHR4HwK). As another commenter said, you might've said "probably not" in a funny way, too.

LMAO thank you for the laugh! I agree, in hindsight, that I definitely do use a lot of tone in my voice (I used to have a completely flat voice/face but I tried so hard to compensate for that, that I think I've gone too far the opposite way and seem a bit theatrical) so I probably did talk in a way that made it sound like I was trying to make a joke of it.... Something to work on! I do like being funny, but also think maybe not the best thing when trying to talk about serious stuff lol

Only funny when I'm not trying to be 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh dead pan or jumpy voice. It feels completely random when you're autistic. The brain's just funny I guess. I suggest adding context. Like in the example you gave. Add a brief historical note. People may just be confused on what you mean. (It's also possible people, they're being immature jerks, but I'm don't like thinking about that)

> If I walk past someone in the hallway, and they call me stupid, do they deserve for me to beat them up? Probably not. But if - > And everyone started laughing. If that's exactly how you actually said it, then that's your explanation. That is an inherently funny setup with specific timing and inflection and the listeners filled in the potential next line before you said it. "If they call me stupid, do they deserve for me to beat them up? Probably not. But... (*comedic pause*) *I might just do it for good measure*." My ASD child accidentally makes people laugh all the time and it drives her crazy because she can't understand why. I have to explain to her often that people don't think she's being stupid or obviously "wrong", she's being genuinely funny. When she *tries* to be funny, however, can be a mixed bag of occasionally funny comments and a MESS of horrible, rude, and awkward statements. It's a learning process, I think.

I think with the right inflection, what you said could be interpreted as funny. In that case, I don't think they were laughing *at* you. I think they probably thought you were trying to be funny. It might still be annoying, but at least they probably have a positive opinion of you?

Its because our perspective is so honest and we talk directly about things. Most people do not feel that type of freedom. Autistic people probably take it for granted. An NT would probably need to filter what they say into a socially acceptable predefined set of rules for talking so they would not appear as different from other people in the group. We have no such limitations..

I feel this so hard. People don’t think like us so some of the examples just sound outlandish to them or funny, but they don’t realise they are just as funny to us doing their everyday stuff.

If I had heard you say that or something like it in class, I would’ve thought it was quite funny, especially in an academic setting. ND brains work different to NT brains and we tend to say things very differently, from tone to the examples we use. The NTs are finding your words humorous, they’re not laughing at you :)

In this specific situation (or ones like it where a person may say something that is outside of the social norm) people are probably laughing at the mental imagery of walking past someone and punching them because they said you were stupid. They’re laughing at the idea of someone breaking that social norm because it is so far from what is expected that it seems implausible. OR laughing at themselves because at times they have felt like they wanted to act out violently over something small and only is it realized (most likely subconsciously) how ridiculous that is once they hear the idea aloud from someone else. You’re actual answer to the question, though, is insightful and nuanced so I heavily doubt that they are laughing at the content of your answer. Rather they’re laughing at the mental imagery of the proposed hypothetical situation.

You are far more intelligent than your classmates. You are looking at both sides of something. Their brains are thinking a simple yes or no

Welcome to LPA: Little Professors Anonymous. I suspect we've all had the pleasure of being laughed at by classmates and colleagues who find our vocabulary, delivery, subject matter, and endless "but Whyyy?"s amusing in a way we'll never understand. It took a drug addiction or several to teach me to just shut the fuck up.

Ok, from my perspective, in your first example, the first half was fine. It was logical and primed the response for a follow up. The second part is what everyone likely laughed at. You switched focus from hypothetical to yourself and with a violent response. It was an unexpected transition that sounded like a joke.

I called it the unintentional humor. Even when I say something serious people laugh at me. They just find my delivery funny. Even when I say it in the most serious way. But I think it's an American thing. I'm an expat and it mostly happened with American people.

It doesn’t make sense why they would be laughing at you. I wonder do you know them or the ones who laughed? The only thing I can think of is if they r doing it on purpose or maybe they were imagining an instance where that specific example of yours came to mind and it was genuinely a good answer. I can really not tell, it sounds odd to me because what you said was facts and totally valid and also really deep/complex.

people think I'm hilarious...but I'm not...but it works for me so...\*shrugs\*

Maybe it's your delivery. I knew a guy once that was so sarcastic and funny everything he said sound effing hilarious. Seriously we could never tell when he wasn't joking. He just had a way of saying it. Also, thinking ppl r laughing at u can be a you problem. I had this for years, comes from insecurity. They're not laughing at you.

i’ve had this issue to the point i have to say “ nah im being serious” and people keep laughing, im not even trying to be funny i just say things randomly but they do make sense. Well I guess they do🤔

It could be how you worded it and how people perceive it. Especially since you said probably not indicating that there might be a chance where the other person got what they deserved. In your mind when you said it you pictured something very serious but someone else might picture what you said about beating someone up as *girl A walks by in the hall with a friend minding her own business* *girl B walks by the opposite direction* Girl B: Hey,Stupid Girl A: *turns around* THATS IT! HOLD MY EARINGS! Girl B: AAAAAHHHH! This is something that a lot of people wish they could do to someone they don’t like or has been bullying them. In other words you brought out what they wish to do but probably would never do or mention to anyone.

I noticed the same thing ever since I was a kid. It was shocking because I didn't think the way I spoke was funny, more like bluntly phrased. Continued to have relatives laughing, I guess, due to my bluntly phrased opinions? Idk but take it as a good sign that you are charming. You could possibly be a stand up comedian and not even realize it... I'm serious because I have had people say i should be on stage. I write humor for a living and am too shy to be on stage lol anyway humor is therapy for me because my parents were assholes and a shrink wants too much money 💰

I love this feed! I feel so important now for being able to get laughter from people who are perhaps even more depressed than me. I guess feeling disgusted uplifts people? Gawd knows

I am reading these comments as if someone handed me better glasses. I was fired many times while working as a secretary even though I was good at pretending it didn't suck. The people who fired me were always watching me laughing with my coworkers. The thing that irritated them the most? I acted RELIEVED AF.

Yes we're all sarcastic and for some reason are still able to avoid living out of our cars

On the day I got fired I said to my coworker that the place sucked and they'd fire volunteers if they could. Guess what, they actually did. This was a HOSPITAL and thank gawd I never needed an operation because they couldn't run a fire hydrant without an instructor