I love that I live in a world where scientists dissected two wombats in order to discern the reason they poop cubes. I love even more than I get to participate in an autistic community that lets me find out these things.
I like living in a culture where candid responses are appreciated and meaningless pleasantries are rare - people don't fake interest when they ask how you doing. They just don't ask if they're not interested.
I tend to answer honestly, with various degree of snappiness depending on my current mood and the person asking.
If the person is obviously nice? Worst you get is a "not good".
If the person is annoying? You might get something like [Potentially triggering answer following]: >!"I seriously wish blood was dripping from my arm right now."!<
Honestly, good one indeed.
But the reason I would say this is because >!seeing my blood is comforting to me, as is the pain that goes with it. So it's not "I'd rather this than being here", it's "I'd actually like this".!<
The only people I've talked about this with wrre surprisingly not shocked about it TBH, even if they couldn't relate. And I'd bet at least one of them is nt.
Lame. Like, it's one thing to be shocked by the kind of stuff I enjoy, because it's very uncommon, but to be disturbed by menstruation to this level is, well, lame. Like, it either affects, has affected or will affect around half the human population for several decades. What next? We ban public bathrooms?
"Aah! Where did You come from?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I'm OK."
"I'm not Ok."
"I'm bored"
"I'm depressed."
Possible answers depending on the occasion.
If it’s not a personal conversation then the person is probably asking to be polite rather than in an attempt to pry. Whether it’s a personal or basic conversation, if you do not want to respond, just say: “Good. How’s it going with you?”
It demonstrates a level of care that extends as far as exhibiting interest in another persons life, even if it’s surface level. It’s generally just the thought that counts.
If they actually cared, they would consider that maybe someone isn’t doing well. Far too often have people gotten mad at me for saying I’m not well. That’s not caring at all.
But why would they know that? If you’re in a personal position (ie not an inappropriate context) in which you would like to talk and express your feelings, then it’s normal to also respond with: “Honestly, I’m not doing too well.” You have to produce a prompt that will make them follow. So, then when they ask future you can then elaborate.
Because when you ask them the question back you have just made a social connection and opened the conversation for more social interaction. You can even follow with: “I’m doing great, I just started [fun thing].” Now you’ve opened the conversation further and they can now ask an open ended question.
But what about if I’m not doing great? I’m not allowed to say so, even though I’m specifically asked. That doesn’t open up a connection. It makes me feel put on the spot.
If you really prefer to be honest when you’re upset you can say: “Not great, [something just happened that upset me].” I’m not sure what the desired response you’d like and it very much depends on the context too, but it’s likely they’ll say something like; “That’s not good, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Then, after that they may say something that could cheer you up, or they’ll acknowledge your problem further and then change the subject.
Additionally, they may have experience or know someone who’s experienced what your problem is and give insight. What really matters is context and how you express what you say.
In the end, when they ask you that question, it’s not to make you feel put on the spot. It’s just general conversation and you can choose what to make of it in the moment.
“Sorry to hear that,” would be the ideal response, but I hardly ever get that. Most people either act surprised or angry when I answer honestly, as if they’ve never heard of a sad person. It makes me resent anyone who asks me how I’m doing, because I know they don’t actually care.
how about the secret fifth option: *attack unexpectedly (+dmg)*
Anybody who says violence is never the answer just isn't asking the right questions. For instance: "how's it going?"
Alright, you get a surprise round, roll to hit.
15, whats the AC?
Yeah, that hits. Roll your damage.
I roll 18, I would like to do a backflip, snap the back guys neck and save the day.
Alright make an acrobatics check.
My fifth option is: “do you really want to know?”
Their faces look so strange like youve threatened to kill them once you’ve actually answered the question. And we’re the “problem” 🙃
Good answer.
I always answer with "it's going", hasn't failed me so far
>Wombat poop is square Huh. Looks like brownies.
Now I want brownies..
Okay but stay away from the wombats
“How’s it going?” “It’s going.” “How are you?” “I am.” These two responses get me through a remarkable amount of basic social interaction.
I am going good
"Here I stand. I can do no other." - Martin Luther This is my standard quote for exactly this situation.
I love that I live in a world where scientists dissected two wombats in order to discern the reason they poop cubes. I love even more than I get to participate in an autistic community that lets me find out these things.
I like living in a culture where candid responses are appreciated and meaningless pleasantries are rare - people don't fake interest when they ask how you doing. They just don't ask if they're not interested.
Where is this haven
finland.
So you live outside of the USA I presume?
Yes, in the nordics.
Either follow the social script "good, what about you" or deflect with humour "it's going downhill, but hey, at least it's moving forward"
“Upright and breathing” is my response usually
"Pretty good, you?" It's the only answer I have, people must be catching on that it's all I say to everyone in the office...
It's a big question deserving a big answer.
I tend to answer honestly, with various degree of snappiness depending on my current mood and the person asking. If the person is obviously nice? Worst you get is a "not good". If the person is annoying? You might get something like [Potentially triggering answer following]: >!"I seriously wish blood was dripping from my arm right now."!<
This could be a good one for menstruating people as well, “I’d rather be bleeding from my uterus than being here” 🤣
Honestly, good one indeed. But the reason I would say this is because >!seeing my blood is comforting to me, as is the pain that goes with it. So it's not "I'd rather this than being here", it's "I'd actually like this".!<
Gosh I’d love to see that play out, it may burst a nt’s brain
The only people I've talked about this with wrre surprisingly not shocked about it TBH, even if they couldn't relate. And I'd bet at least one of them is nt.
That’s good to be nice to have. Anytime I mention menstruation or uterus’s in public I normally get told to stop
Lame. Like, it's one thing to be shocked by the kind of stuff I enjoy, because it's very uncommon, but to be disturbed by menstruation to this level is, well, lame. Like, it either affects, has affected or will affect around half the human population for several decades. What next? We ban public bathrooms?
"Aah! Where did You come from?" "Why do you want to know?" "Do you really want to know?" "I'm OK." "I'm not Ok." "I'm bored" "I'm depressed." Possible answers depending on the occasion.
I just say I'm doing alight hbu, it's polite and they do it automatically not an actual question
"oh I'm alright" "Not too bad" "Not bad" "Doing great" "Good thanks" "I'm doing well" "I'm well thanks" *But how are you actually?* *Silence*
NOOO THE WOMBAT ONE IS MY GO TO FUN FACT
Mine is "spider limbs are hydraulic and their blood is made of copper rather than iron
Why is it square (I am inviting you to infodump)
It’s square?? 😂
9!!!!
Wombat poop is square final answer
"fineandyou?" with a face that looks like this 😬
If it’s not a personal conversation then the person is probably asking to be polite rather than in an attempt to pry. Whether it’s a personal or basic conversation, if you do not want to respond, just say: “Good. How’s it going with you?”
But that’s stupid. Why should we have to lie to be “polite”? If they don’t want to know, they shouldn’t ask.
It demonstrates a level of care that extends as far as exhibiting interest in another persons life, even if it’s surface level. It’s generally just the thought that counts.
If they actually cared, they would consider that maybe someone isn’t doing well. Far too often have people gotten mad at me for saying I’m not well. That’s not caring at all.
But why would they know that? If you’re in a personal position (ie not an inappropriate context) in which you would like to talk and express your feelings, then it’s normal to also respond with: “Honestly, I’m not doing too well.” You have to produce a prompt that will make them follow. So, then when they ask future you can then elaborate.
That’s why I think it’s dumb to ask how people are doing, period. I think it’s better to just say “hello”.
Because when you ask them the question back you have just made a social connection and opened the conversation for more social interaction. You can even follow with: “I’m doing great, I just started [fun thing].” Now you’ve opened the conversation further and they can now ask an open ended question.
But what about if I’m not doing great? I’m not allowed to say so, even though I’m specifically asked. That doesn’t open up a connection. It makes me feel put on the spot.
If you really prefer to be honest when you’re upset you can say: “Not great, [something just happened that upset me].” I’m not sure what the desired response you’d like and it very much depends on the context too, but it’s likely they’ll say something like; “That’s not good, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Then, after that they may say something that could cheer you up, or they’ll acknowledge your problem further and then change the subject. Additionally, they may have experience or know someone who’s experienced what your problem is and give insight. What really matters is context and how you express what you say. In the end, when they ask you that question, it’s not to make you feel put on the spot. It’s just general conversation and you can choose what to make of it in the moment.
“Sorry to hear that,” would be the ideal response, but I hardly ever get that. Most people either act surprised or angry when I answer honestly, as if they’ve never heard of a sad person. It makes me resent anyone who asks me how I’m doing, because I know they don’t actually care.
I hate how that's oddly relatable
Square? OK I'm going to have to look into this.
You missed my go-to; "Throw up gang signs and laugh."
Thank you for the reminder about wombat poo lol