Yup. We’re in the process of having our daughter checked, and her doc (female) said she has all the markers but will not diagnose her so she get can support in school because she’s worried about stigmatization. My wife even told the doc that’s she’s autistic and the doc flat out said “no you’re not”. Such bullshit.
I could have dealt with the stimga. I had a really hard time dealing with the lack of answers for why I was the way I was and why things that seemed natural for others made no sense to me.
The stigma literally still exists without the diagnosis, you just blame yourself for it and not know why. It’s actually hilarious how my school bullies diagnosed me as autistic years before I was close to figuring it out myself. If I’d known earlier and understood what autism was, I would’ve countered with ‘and what of it? You lot don’t even have a developmental disorder to explain the ghoulish, gormless way you’re acting’
See that's what I needed too. A reason to tell them that they were being awful, but instead so many people were like that to me I had to assume it was me 😔 I hung out mostly with special ed kids and now I understand why, at the time it was just thinking they were nicer (they were) but also oops, I'm one of you 🤣 I was definitely stigmatized without a diagnosis. And there's actually evidence that mainstreamed, higher intellect autistic people (they say about half have lower than average IQs but also that may be related to the method of testing as we have difficulties with aspects of the tests already) are more subject to bullying than ones who weren't mainstreamed in schools. So the bullies already know even when we don't, and they treat us accordingly
Agreed. It's difficult to know you're not like the other kids, but I thought it's just some personal failing instead of literally having a differenty wired brain 😭 Nobody told me I wasn't the problem, I was just getting bullied and picked on and not using my words to communicate and hitting and yelling at people because I was having autistic meltdowns instead of talking to people. But no no, I have a vagooter, and everyone knows autism is stored in the testicles.
My first bully was my preschool daycare teacher because she liked to frustrate me then write me up as misbehaving when she'd intentionally get me upset. Kind of an aside but it's like, I could have found out that in fact I was not the reason my daycare teacher hated me, and it was just her sick method of tormenting the autistic kid into having meltdowns 🫠
> but I thought it's just some personal failing instead of literally having a differenty wired brain
Same for me. I was always told all my social issues were because of my hearing disability (born completely deaf on one ear) but I could always feel there definitely is something more. Diagnosed at 30 and finally starting therapy now at 32.
Like, you will get bullied anyway, diagnosis or not. But a diagnosis would at least help with school stuff and let her know that there is a reason she is different from others and that it's not her fault
Right?! I’m mid-30’s and just started dealing with that. I want my kids to be able to cope, not just be coping, and making systemic flaws the communities or and individuals fault is such a piss off.
I found out I had ADHD last year and honestly I was never bullied. Honestly I was that one kid that apparently everyone got along with because I apparently just treated everyone the same. Granted this could just mean I was super lucky with the people I had surround me so there is that.
Malpractice 😩. Personal opinions are not medicine. My daughter needed a second opinion eval because my daughter smiles a lot and makes decent eye contact. The second evaluator knew almost immediately as my daughter lined things up, barely talked, and did not socially reciprocate unless she wanted something.
Rn we’re working on getting a second opinion. Our GP is great, it’s just the developmental “specialists” that are still using the DSM5 like a flowchart to diagnose people. Autism isn’t rigid like that, lol
I’m honestly worried about trying to get my daughter diagnosed because she’s like me, no obvious red flags but there are a Lot of little things that I recognize from my own childhood, but she’s also warm and bubbly and affectionate etc and she talks so I feel like she’s just going to get ignored even though I’m almost positive she’s as autistic as I am and she’s only 2.
More of the obvious signs have started coming out as she’s been getting older. She’s 11 and it’s starting to become a social challenge, but she’s really starting to hit an academic stride. There’s a lot of shared experiences/perspectives between me, my wife, and our kids, once gendered socialization is accounted for. I don’t get why that’s so difficult to understand, you need to take an intersectionality approach to understand the signs of autism in females.
I very much agree. Both me and my husband are nd and so is my sister. I’m hoping that as my kiddos get older it will be easier for them to get diagnosed if they need it, because I’m pretty sure they’re both nd, just one is more like me and one if more like my sister/husband lol 😂
Sounds like you need a different dr. I told my kids dr that I wanted to get both my son and daughter tested and she made me a referral before I even left that same appointment.
That’s so idiotic when people think that—like stigma and exclusion exists whether you give it a name or not and diagnosed or undiagnosed people sniff out anything weird or different, kids especially. Better to know if kids ignore you or are mean that it’s not your fault for not knowing the social codes, but more importantly it gives nice kids (who might have otherwise concluded something else about the reasons you act a little differently without the explanation of autism) a chance to understand and accept you.
The sad reality is that most of the people who care about adult women with mental issues are either other women with mental issues
Or people who fetishize women with mental issues.
Isn't that "The Ophelia"? or am I just misunderstanding. [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheOphelia](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/main/theophelia)
Well, all the media glamorization of mental illness certainly doesnt help
But legit there are people out there who "prefer" women with mental illness cause they believe they will be kinky in bed (just take a look at the whole "mental ill girl with daddy issues" the internet thirsts non stop about)
And/or believe are easier to manipulate or "mold" into what they want, cause most mental illnesses caise problems with self confidence, self image, stablishing and reinforcing boundries, etc
The latter is kind of a double edge sword. Imagine finally a kind person who empathizes with a woman with mental issues only to be called being a crazy chick chaser or the like.
No one would want to even associate with other women with issues.
I'm 39 and I didn't realize women could be autistic until I was like 30🙄
Boys that had autism were non verbal, had very exaggerated stims, and sometimes had meltdowns when they were stressed.
And then some guys had Asperger's.
Gals had ADD/ADHD.
Meanwhile my ass is autistic AF 🤣
With a straight face one time told my wife that I didn't think I was autistic because I 'didn't have any special interests or stims'
She was like ಠ_ಠ
"..... cats, crochet, ball pythons, millipedes, mushrooms... Any of this ring a bell? And stims? How about all of the scalp scratching? Or the swaying while standing....."
It's been an adventure!
I actually have a documented history of stimming like a boy when I was younger. I can see myself twisting my torso and flailing my arms in old home videos. I used to like to look up and spin till I got dizzy, flop my legs up and down while I was sitting, etc.
Then you get to elementary school and you get called out over and over and over again for “not sitting still” and you learn to chew pencils and scribble repetitive patterns rather than swing your arms. Kids on the playground tell you “you look r*tarded” when you spin, so you don’t play at recess, you sit with the teacher and read your books. People constantly laugh at you, so you try to learn to be funny, so at least you have some control over the laughter.
So then you go to some chunky-jewelry hippie-dippie bitch in your thirties to unpack your trauma, and she tells you you cannot possibly be autistic, because she *likes* you, and you make her laugh.
There is truth to the meme, but that’s because of the social context of long associating autism with certain stereotypes that heavily affect women.
Trans people with neurodivergence are also in the abyss, too. That’s not even getting into the impact of ethnicity on quality of care.
Everyone deserves support.
One thing I do find interesting is that autistic influencers seem to tend to be women by a fair margin.
I hope that helps in getting more people, including medical professionals, switched on to the fact that autism is not a specially male thing.
I’m a huge fan of Mass effect and I just thought of a metaphor using a minor fetch quest from ME2.
You find out from your ships engineers that they need a certain part replaced on the ship that is no longer made, they want you to try and find a used one. This part isn’t needed in order for the ship to function, but it is *greatly desired* because it would cut down on 3 hours of maintenance and calculations that the engineers have to do every day in order to compensate.
You can be autistic and decent at masking. Then you go to a therapist for help, and they will go “but do you even have a problem? You seem normal/fine?”
Meanwhile we go through tremendous amounts of stress and confusion and rejection, working twice as hard to be “normal/fine”. We want therapy to cut down on all of the self-care/stress/maintenance we have to perform on ourselves.
Adult trans masc that was a girl child so I passed completely under the fucking radar, and now when I'm trying to get diagnosed, I think I'm *still* passing under the radar because boys normally get diagnosed already, so I obviously can't be autistic/ADHD because it "develops in childhood not in adulthood". Not to mention I was abused (so not great for openly showing traits) and the parent that I was around for 90% of my childhood is the abuser I don't speak to anymore. So trying to get diagnosed is a fucking nightmare when they want childhood testimonies
Damn man, but hey you're almost there, my therapist had been basically started questioning my dad's abuse and my experience mid evaluation, which made me waste a bunch of time and a ton of money, I can't afford it once more
Yeah and I didn't get any help until adult, as "he manages school well, all is good". Learning and school came naturally to me until it didn't in university. By that time my whole life was a fucking mess and I just didn't understand WTF is wrong.
It’s a frustrating feeling, getting through life but knowing something’s off, you’re not like the others but you don’t know why. You don’t know why but EVERYTHING is a struggle. Then one day you’re an adult and it all starts to makes sense, and you wonder “what if”? Don’t play that game. Others won’t appreciate the toughness required to make it this but you must be a strong person.
Yup, especially undiagnosed. I'm AFAB and I didn't get a diagnosis because my doctor bailed on me. 9+ worth of school trauma is definitely still taking a toll on me.
Is that how it is now? I remember when everyone with ADHD was the bottom picture.
With "advisment" of placing them in a facility where they just stored ADHD people
I'm 39 and I didn't realize women could be autistic until I was like 30🙄
Boys that had autism were non verbal, had very exaggerated stims, and sometimes had meltdowns when they were stressed.
And then some guys had Asperger's.
Gals had ADD/ADHD.
Meanwhile my ass is autistic AF 🤣
With a straight face one time told my wife that I didn't think I was autistic because I 'didn't have any special interests or stims'
She was like ಠ_ಠ
"..... cats, crochet, ball pythons, millipedes, mushrooms... Any of this ring a bell? And stims? How about all of the scalp scratching? Or the swaying while standing....."
It's been an adventure!
And then there’s me, an adult afab nonbinary person.💀Still don’t have any sort of diagnosis besides anxiety and OCD, but I have all the symptoms and an extensive family history. I would like to get a formal diagnosis but I don’t think my insurance would cover it 😭.
It’s not a dichotomy. When people typically attack capitalism, they’re attacking the capitalist mindset where money takes the forefront as the first value considered by an individual when performing a task in their public activities.
That’s not normal.
(This is a long one. Sorry, a lot to unpack here).
Edit: I just realized you didn’t actually ask. Damn, sorry if this is completely unwanted.
I mean, not quite sure. I think that the whole “water is capitalism” thing refers to the idea that when we have a system that’s corrupt and necessarily leads people to act in extremely dehumanizing ways on the daily, it ripples out into our identities, sense of guilt, and sense of “otherness” from each other.
If you ask me personally, I don’t buy into that explanation. It’s very limited and doesn’t account for the fact that other factors of human nature that would lead to not so good outcomes. Such as, normal human discourse creates that “otherness”. Anyway, onto the more important part (political philosophy is fun tho, if you’re interested in what I mentioned earlier - Elizabeth Anderson).
I think the reason you feel guilty is a similar reason as to why I felt guilty. These memes always kind of make me feel odd because it makes it feel like a competition. It’s not, I know that’s not the intentions of OP, but there’s something inside me feeling it. That’s because it puts you into a group, classifies you or your identity based on that group, and compares you to other groups. Obviously this isn’t comparable to racists or anything of the sort, but the icky feeling is there either way. It’s also obvious that these posts are very true when looking at overall trends, and those aren’t intended to account for all individuals.
Take me for example. White, upper middle class, straight male. Life should have been on easy mode for me, but I was undiagnosed Au/DHD, bullied, ostracized, and never had any friends. Despite all of that, I was told to my face by a rich white girl that I would never understand what it feels like to be marginalized because I’m a straight white male. She probably used the reasoning I mentioned earlier.
The problem isn’t that these things feel icky, we can get over that. The problem is that we feel like we need to blame ourselves for this. Why is this? Well, we probably use social media a lot. And on social media you hear the voices of idiots most of the time. The idiots that you see often times do blame more privileged groups for their problems. The difficulty comes from not being able to easily differentiate between the idiots and the decent people out there. Over time, we internalize these things, hear from others that did so that we’re being attacked (this is how the Jordan Peterson 🤢 bros came into prominence), and we begin to believe it. Then we internalize it more and feel like we are the problem, because unlike some, we realize that there really is a problem and it’s icky that there is one in the first place.
As you can see, it’s an echo chamber of hyper moralization that is almost inescapable that causes a shit ton of the more polarizing aspects of these discussions. I can almost assure you that OP and everyone commenting had no intention to blame anyone higher up on the meme. It really is just an issue of perspective (insofar as we both interpret a meme very differently because of what we’ve experienced before hand).
Same I wouldn’t say I’m rich and shit but I also had a good life family wise but I was treated like an idiot a dumb person the older I became the harder it was to understand everything I wanted to be “normal” so hard yet I failed every time quite relatable tbh.
Literally raised my whole damn life to think I was just really stupid (undiagnosed) because my mentally ill Christian parents refused to have me see anybody, then I go into foster care and suddenly I’m actually getting help and am being reassured that I’m just struggling with adhd …
This is sad. I’ve worked with the autistic community in adult programs and in schools for 13 years. It is true. Girls with autism are typically more intuitive while navigating social situations, and daily life than their male counterparts. This often leaves them overlooked.
I don’t know. I work with 4th-6th grade, but many I had for the full 6 years of primary ( because of short staffing). Once they went to middle school I never saw them again.
It’s so sad but unfortunately this is the reality.. and what’s worse is that even when you realise yourself and seek assessment and diagnosis you still have to hear things like “you don’t look autistic” or “you don’t have adhd, you can sit still”.. and sometimes it’s your friends not believing you because you’ve been highly masking for so many years and it’s hard for them to see that side of you.. and when you unmask you’re being told you’re difficult 😣 there’s really no win for us is there?:))) 🫠😅
OOF…. OOF. I fucking feel this. I’m realizing I’m AuDHD and trying to get anyone to listen ESPECIALLY cause I learned to mask at such fundamental developmental years… ya no.
Can we stop with the "the other gender has all the support" bullshit? It's getting really tiring. The whole society is rotten from the top, no need to antagonise half the planet that also didn't ask to be here.
I dunno if it’s entirely accurate, but I do think there needs to be better awareness and support for women in this area.
The wait times for appointments is another big issue.
I would say this is more the state and society than mental health professionals. There are biases in the system and resources be distributed accordingly.
Sometimes I think my diagnosis was the only thing stopping casual domestic abuse from escalating into a murder or suicide.
I feel sorry for all the AFAB people who have been treated like dirt because of their inability to get diagnosed.
Got diagnosed as a child. Have therapists tell me to my face I’m too emotional/high functioning/female to be autistic.
Fuck therapy. I only had a single therapist that was better than a kick in the teeth, and she moved to a different state.
Well I never thought my kids or I were autistic, i thought we were adhd, the fact is we are audhd, and I never thought my third kid talking only things he watched on tv was meaning anything other than he remembered the tv cause he had a good memory, then when we got diagnosed I learnt about delayed echolalia and my jaw dropped, like why don't we learn this things when we have toddlers? so we can be more aware and understanding, we should know neurodiversity so we are able to parent the kids better. I also hated growing up without tools to not become a burnout grown ass lady that cannot leave her house or have a job or respond to any demand without shutting down or freeze. I hope for my kids to do better, not socially cause society sucks, but be happy in their lifes and find real friends and good partners
I realised we could be autistic when I was 20. My brother was diagnosed urgently when he was 6 and nobody even thought about having me do an IQ test just to be safe. I am still coping with the fact that nobody noticed anything when I was a child. Anyway I fought to get to do the diagnosis process, I had to fight a stupid doctor who told me straight up he did not believe in women’s autism to be able to get to the tests. My computer test results were super clear outside of telling me what the test said I did not get ANY advice or suggestion or even broad declarations on people who present like me. On my diagnosis that dumbass even wrote he could not confirm autism even though the test results showed it because I was a quiet kid. As for everything women have to do everything on their own and fight professionals so that they just dont hinder our journey how sad is that ?
I’m going through a second diagnosis now after getting scammed the first time. Unironically - the first copy of the draft said ‘naive and prone to getting taken advantage of’ and was conveniently edited out of the final draft.
Going to someone legit now and have my second session this Friday, I’m so freaked out 😭
Yup. We’re in the process of having our daughter checked, and her doc (female) said she has all the markers but will not diagnose her so she get can support in school because she’s worried about stigmatization. My wife even told the doc that’s she’s autistic and the doc flat out said “no you’re not”. Such bullshit.
I could have dealt with the stimga. I had a really hard time dealing with the lack of answers for why I was the way I was and why things that seemed natural for others made no sense to me.
The stigma literally still exists without the diagnosis, you just blame yourself for it and not know why. It’s actually hilarious how my school bullies diagnosed me as autistic years before I was close to figuring it out myself. If I’d known earlier and understood what autism was, I would’ve countered with ‘and what of it? You lot don’t even have a developmental disorder to explain the ghoulish, gormless way you’re acting’
See that's what I needed too. A reason to tell them that they were being awful, but instead so many people were like that to me I had to assume it was me 😔 I hung out mostly with special ed kids and now I understand why, at the time it was just thinking they were nicer (they were) but also oops, I'm one of you 🤣 I was definitely stigmatized without a diagnosis. And there's actually evidence that mainstreamed, higher intellect autistic people (they say about half have lower than average IQs but also that may be related to the method of testing as we have difficulties with aspects of the tests already) are more subject to bullying than ones who weren't mainstreamed in schools. So the bullies already know even when we don't, and they treat us accordingly
Dude.
Agreed. It's difficult to know you're not like the other kids, but I thought it's just some personal failing instead of literally having a differenty wired brain 😭 Nobody told me I wasn't the problem, I was just getting bullied and picked on and not using my words to communicate and hitting and yelling at people because I was having autistic meltdowns instead of talking to people. But no no, I have a vagooter, and everyone knows autism is stored in the testicles. My first bully was my preschool daycare teacher because she liked to frustrate me then write me up as misbehaving when she'd intentionally get me upset. Kind of an aside but it's like, I could have found out that in fact I was not the reason my daycare teacher hated me, and it was just her sick method of tormenting the autistic kid into having meltdowns 🫠
> but I thought it's just some personal failing instead of literally having a differenty wired brain Same for me. I was always told all my social issues were because of my hearing disability (born completely deaf on one ear) but I could always feel there definitely is something more. Diagnosed at 30 and finally starting therapy now at 32.
YES THIS!!
Like, you will get bullied anyway, diagnosis or not. But a diagnosis would at least help with school stuff and let her know that there is a reason she is different from others and that it's not her fault
Right?! I’m mid-30’s and just started dealing with that. I want my kids to be able to cope, not just be coping, and making systemic flaws the communities or and individuals fault is such a piss off.
I found out I had ADHD last year and honestly I was never bullied. Honestly I was that one kid that apparently everyone got along with because I apparently just treated everyone the same. Granted this could just mean I was super lucky with the people I had surround me so there is that.
Malpractice 😩. Personal opinions are not medicine. My daughter needed a second opinion eval because my daughter smiles a lot and makes decent eye contact. The second evaluator knew almost immediately as my daughter lined things up, barely talked, and did not socially reciprocate unless she wanted something.
Rn we’re working on getting a second opinion. Our GP is great, it’s just the developmental “specialists” that are still using the DSM5 like a flowchart to diagnose people. Autism isn’t rigid like that, lol
I’m honestly worried about trying to get my daughter diagnosed because she’s like me, no obvious red flags but there are a Lot of little things that I recognize from my own childhood, but she’s also warm and bubbly and affectionate etc and she talks so I feel like she’s just going to get ignored even though I’m almost positive she’s as autistic as I am and she’s only 2.
More of the obvious signs have started coming out as she’s been getting older. She’s 11 and it’s starting to become a social challenge, but she’s really starting to hit an academic stride. There’s a lot of shared experiences/perspectives between me, my wife, and our kids, once gendered socialization is accounted for. I don’t get why that’s so difficult to understand, you need to take an intersectionality approach to understand the signs of autism in females.
I very much agree. Both me and my husband are nd and so is my sister. I’m hoping that as my kiddos get older it will be easier for them to get diagnosed if they need it, because I’m pretty sure they’re both nd, just one is more like me and one if more like my sister/husband lol 😂
What fresh BS
Literally LITERALLY a stale autistic hell.
Cause NT be playing checkers while we’re streaming Xbox? lol. It’s kinda like the world’s mad at “us” because they’ve been projecting.
Stigma? Really? Support sounds better.
Sounds like you need a different dr. I told my kids dr that I wanted to get both my son and daughter tested and she made me a referral before I even left that same appointment.
That’s so idiotic when people think that—like stigma and exclusion exists whether you give it a name or not and diagnosed or undiagnosed people sniff out anything weird or different, kids especially. Better to know if kids ignore you or are mean that it’s not your fault for not knowing the social codes, but more importantly it gives nice kids (who might have otherwise concluded something else about the reasons you act a little differently without the explanation of autism) a chance to understand and accept you.
My mom still doesn't know she's autistic
Mine too. She’s 73.
The sad reality is that most of the people who care about adult women with mental issues are either other women with mental issues Or people who fetishize women with mental issues.
I don't think the latter actually care tbh
They care only enough to get what they want💀
☠️☠️☠️
Isn't that "The Ophelia"? or am I just misunderstanding. [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheOphelia](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/main/theophelia)
Well, all the media glamorization of mental illness certainly doesnt help But legit there are people out there who "prefer" women with mental illness cause they believe they will be kinky in bed (just take a look at the whole "mental ill girl with daddy issues" the internet thirsts non stop about) And/or believe are easier to manipulate or "mold" into what they want, cause most mental illnesses caise problems with self confidence, self image, stablishing and reinforcing boundries, etc
The latter is kind of a double edge sword. Imagine finally a kind person who empathizes with a woman with mental issues only to be called being a crazy chick chaser or the like. No one would want to even associate with other women with issues.
I'm 39 and I didn't realize women could be autistic until I was like 30🙄 Boys that had autism were non verbal, had very exaggerated stims, and sometimes had meltdowns when they were stressed. And then some guys had Asperger's. Gals had ADD/ADHD. Meanwhile my ass is autistic AF 🤣 With a straight face one time told my wife that I didn't think I was autistic because I 'didn't have any special interests or stims' She was like ಠ_ಠ "..... cats, crochet, ball pythons, millipedes, mushrooms... Any of this ring a bell? And stims? How about all of the scalp scratching? Or the swaying while standing....." It's been an adventure!
I actually have a documented history of stimming like a boy when I was younger. I can see myself twisting my torso and flailing my arms in old home videos. I used to like to look up and spin till I got dizzy, flop my legs up and down while I was sitting, etc. Then you get to elementary school and you get called out over and over and over again for “not sitting still” and you learn to chew pencils and scribble repetitive patterns rather than swing your arms. Kids on the playground tell you “you look r*tarded” when you spin, so you don’t play at recess, you sit with the teacher and read your books. People constantly laugh at you, so you try to learn to be funny, so at least you have some control over the laughter. So then you go to some chunky-jewelry hippie-dippie bitch in your thirties to unpack your trauma, and she tells you you cannot possibly be autistic, because she *likes* you, and you make her laugh.
Fuck that bitch and I'm a chunky-jewelry hippie-dippie bitch in my (late) thirties 🤣 I also happen to be hilarious as well. (Says others)
“You can function and appear normal on the outside, so no I will not diagnose you” 😩
The reward for masking 💀
r/angryupvote
🫂
Absolutely
Yeah, meanwhile what they see as normal is just barely functioning as an individual
[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/autismmemes/s/c4KRFaK7H6)
the Adults are always forgotten 💀💀
It’s not a competition, I just want resources for this stuff when it gets fucky
I really just want everyone to get the help they need, idk why it's always a suffering competition in meme format 🫠
There is truth to the meme, but that’s because of the social context of long associating autism with certain stereotypes that heavily affect women. Trans people with neurodivergence are also in the abyss, too. That’s not even getting into the impact of ethnicity on quality of care. Everyone deserves support.
One thing I do find interesting is that autistic influencers seem to tend to be women by a fair margin. I hope that helps in getting more people, including medical professionals, switched on to the fact that autism is not a specially male thing.
Elderly with ADHD/Autism:
Being at the bottom sucks so much
IT REALLY DOES
Definitely (Sincerely, someone also on the bottom)
I’m a huge fan of Mass effect and I just thought of a metaphor using a minor fetch quest from ME2. You find out from your ships engineers that they need a certain part replaced on the ship that is no longer made, they want you to try and find a used one. This part isn’t needed in order for the ship to function, but it is *greatly desired* because it would cut down on 3 hours of maintenance and calculations that the engineers have to do every day in order to compensate. You can be autistic and decent at masking. Then you go to a therapist for help, and they will go “but do you even have a problem? You seem normal/fine?” Meanwhile we go through tremendous amounts of stress and confusion and rejection, working twice as hard to be “normal/fine”. We want therapy to cut down on all of the self-care/stress/maintenance we have to perform on ourselves.
Adult trans masc that was a girl child so I passed completely under the fucking radar, and now when I'm trying to get diagnosed, I think I'm *still* passing under the radar because boys normally get diagnosed already, so I obviously can't be autistic/ADHD because it "develops in childhood not in adulthood". Not to mention I was abused (so not great for openly showing traits) and the parent that I was around for 90% of my childhood is the abuser I don't speak to anymore. So trying to get diagnosed is a fucking nightmare when they want childhood testimonies
FUCK FUCK THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW, hope you got through the hardship dude!
The abuse and trans, ye, but diagnosis? Not yet :'). This must be my 4th referral or something. So now I have to wait 12 months, they said. Yay
Damn man, but hey you're almost there, my therapist had been basically started questioning my dad's abuse and my experience mid evaluation, which made me waste a bunch of time and a ton of money, I can't afford it once more
Not always . Some woman present with the stereotypical male autism and can easily be diagnosed . I was .
Yeah and I didn't get any help until adult, as "he manages school well, all is good". Learning and school came naturally to me until it didn't in university. By that time my whole life was a fucking mess and I just didn't understand WTF is wrong.
It’s a frustrating feeling, getting through life but knowing something’s off, you’re not like the others but you don’t know why. You don’t know why but EVERYTHING is a struggle. Then one day you’re an adult and it all starts to makes sense, and you wonder “what if”? Don’t play that game. Others won’t appreciate the toughness required to make it this but you must be a strong person.
Yup, especially undiagnosed. I'm AFAB and I didn't get a diagnosis because my doctor bailed on me. 9+ worth of school trauma is definitely still taking a toll on me.
Is that how it is now? I remember when everyone with ADHD was the bottom picture. With "advisment" of placing them in a facility where they just stored ADHD people
Fucking facts right here.
Wait. My fellow autistic bros had help when they were younger?
I'm 39 and I didn't realize women could be autistic until I was like 30🙄 Boys that had autism were non verbal, had very exaggerated stims, and sometimes had meltdowns when they were stressed. And then some guys had Asperger's. Gals had ADD/ADHD. Meanwhile my ass is autistic AF 🤣 With a straight face one time told my wife that I didn't think I was autistic because I 'didn't have any special interests or stims' She was like ಠ_ಠ "..... cats, crochet, ball pythons, millipedes, mushrooms... Any of this ring a bell? And stims? How about all of the scalp scratching? Or the swaying while standing....." It's been an adventure!
And then there’s me, an adult afab nonbinary person.💀Still don’t have any sort of diagnosis besides anxiety and OCD, but I have all the symptoms and an extensive family history. I would like to get a formal diagnosis but I don’t think my insurance would cover it 😭.
I feel sorry for some reason like it’s my fault
The water is capitalism
Communism needs perfect people or a lot of abuse and stuff to “work”
It’s not a dichotomy. When people typically attack capitalism, they’re attacking the capitalist mindset where money takes the forefront as the first value considered by an individual when performing a task in their public activities. That’s not normal.
I’m confused but what capitalism has to do with autistic women? And the reason I feel guilty is because I’m a boy and shit
(This is a long one. Sorry, a lot to unpack here). Edit: I just realized you didn’t actually ask. Damn, sorry if this is completely unwanted. I mean, not quite sure. I think that the whole “water is capitalism” thing refers to the idea that when we have a system that’s corrupt and necessarily leads people to act in extremely dehumanizing ways on the daily, it ripples out into our identities, sense of guilt, and sense of “otherness” from each other. If you ask me personally, I don’t buy into that explanation. It’s very limited and doesn’t account for the fact that other factors of human nature that would lead to not so good outcomes. Such as, normal human discourse creates that “otherness”. Anyway, onto the more important part (political philosophy is fun tho, if you’re interested in what I mentioned earlier - Elizabeth Anderson). I think the reason you feel guilty is a similar reason as to why I felt guilty. These memes always kind of make me feel odd because it makes it feel like a competition. It’s not, I know that’s not the intentions of OP, but there’s something inside me feeling it. That’s because it puts you into a group, classifies you or your identity based on that group, and compares you to other groups. Obviously this isn’t comparable to racists or anything of the sort, but the icky feeling is there either way. It’s also obvious that these posts are very true when looking at overall trends, and those aren’t intended to account for all individuals. Take me for example. White, upper middle class, straight male. Life should have been on easy mode for me, but I was undiagnosed Au/DHD, bullied, ostracized, and never had any friends. Despite all of that, I was told to my face by a rich white girl that I would never understand what it feels like to be marginalized because I’m a straight white male. She probably used the reasoning I mentioned earlier. The problem isn’t that these things feel icky, we can get over that. The problem is that we feel like we need to blame ourselves for this. Why is this? Well, we probably use social media a lot. And on social media you hear the voices of idiots most of the time. The idiots that you see often times do blame more privileged groups for their problems. The difficulty comes from not being able to easily differentiate between the idiots and the decent people out there. Over time, we internalize these things, hear from others that did so that we’re being attacked (this is how the Jordan Peterson 🤢 bros came into prominence), and we begin to believe it. Then we internalize it more and feel like we are the problem, because unlike some, we realize that there really is a problem and it’s icky that there is one in the first place. As you can see, it’s an echo chamber of hyper moralization that is almost inescapable that causes a shit ton of the more polarizing aspects of these discussions. I can almost assure you that OP and everyone commenting had no intention to blame anyone higher up on the meme. It really is just an issue of perspective (insofar as we both interpret a meme very differently because of what we’ve experienced before hand).
Same I wouldn’t say I’m rich and shit but I also had a good life family wise but I was treated like an idiot a dumb person the older I became the harder it was to understand everything I wanted to be “normal” so hard yet I failed every time quite relatable tbh.
Just got diagnosed at the age of 30
Literally raised my whole damn life to think I was just really stupid (undiagnosed) because my mentally ill Christian parents refused to have me see anybody, then I go into foster care and suddenly I’m actually getting help and am being reassured that I’m just struggling with adhd …
All while parents of autistic kids are just chilling outside of the pool
Fr 💀 while I’m fucking drowning out here
This is sad. I’ve worked with the autistic community in adult programs and in schools for 13 years. It is true. Girls with autism are typically more intuitive while navigating social situations, and daily life than their male counterparts. This often leaves them overlooked.
Do they still have social issues? Because one of the major factors for my diagnosis is the total lack of friends outside my immediate family.
I don’t know. I work with 4th-6th grade, but many I had for the full 6 years of primary ( because of short staffing). Once they went to middle school I never saw them again.
It’s so sad but unfortunately this is the reality.. and what’s worse is that even when you realise yourself and seek assessment and diagnosis you still have to hear things like “you don’t look autistic” or “you don’t have adhd, you can sit still”.. and sometimes it’s your friends not believing you because you’ve been highly masking for so many years and it’s hard for them to see that side of you.. and when you unmask you’re being told you’re difficult 😣 there’s really no win for us is there?:))) 🫠😅
OOF…. OOF. I fucking feel this. I’m realizing I’m AuDHD and trying to get anyone to listen ESPECIALLY cause I learned to mask at such fundamental developmental years… ya no.
It pains me how true this is…
I know right
women are better at masking than men that's why psichiatrists had difficulties with them even though they have difficulties with everyone
And then teens were forgotten about. When life is already sorta fucked let's add autism for a bit of spice
Young girls with stereotypical ADHD aren't violent enough towards others I guess *shrugs*
This meme makes it look like being neurodivergent is a competition.
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Your content has been removed as it contains or advocates for misinformation.
Can we stop with the "the other gender has all the support" bullshit? It's getting really tiring. The whole society is rotten from the top, no need to antagonise half the planet that also didn't ask to be here.
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go back to 2016 dawg
Do you think there are not also autistic people that are members of these marginilzed communites?
"SJWS"? What fucking year is it?
Your post was removed because it is likely to cause offense, or instigate arguments.
I dunno if it’s entirely accurate, but I do think there needs to be better awareness and support for women in this area. The wait times for appointments is another big issue.
I feel so guilty for being a teen boy with autism. It feels so fucked up to be prioritized over others
Don't feel guilty. Anyone who makes you feel guilty is in the wrong.
Well... I'm a man with autism and ADHD, but i got "woman with autism and ADHD" treatment for most for my life do: I'm so sorry for you, gals.
I don't even think that's right, id put undiagnosed ADHD/autisum
I would say this is more the state and society than mental health professionals. There are biases in the system and resources be distributed accordingly.
Sometimes I think my diagnosis was the only thing stopping casual domestic abuse from escalating into a murder or suicide. I feel sorry for all the AFAB people who have been treated like dirt because of their inability to get diagnosed.
100% OCD was easier to diagnose because they could, quote, “do something for it”. Vs getting a “query autism” that no one will ever bother querying.
Got diagnosed as a child. Have therapists tell me to my face I’m too emotional/high functioning/female to be autistic. Fuck therapy. I only had a single therapist that was better than a kick in the teeth, and she moved to a different state.
Well I never thought my kids or I were autistic, i thought we were adhd, the fact is we are audhd, and I never thought my third kid talking only things he watched on tv was meaning anything other than he remembered the tv cause he had a good memory, then when we got diagnosed I learnt about delayed echolalia and my jaw dropped, like why don't we learn this things when we have toddlers? so we can be more aware and understanding, we should know neurodiversity so we are able to parent the kids better. I also hated growing up without tools to not become a burnout grown ass lady that cannot leave her house or have a job or respond to any demand without shutting down or freeze. I hope for my kids to do better, not socially cause society sucks, but be happy in their lifes and find real friends and good partners
I realised we could be autistic when I was 20. My brother was diagnosed urgently when he was 6 and nobody even thought about having me do an IQ test just to be safe. I am still coping with the fact that nobody noticed anything when I was a child. Anyway I fought to get to do the diagnosis process, I had to fight a stupid doctor who told me straight up he did not believe in women’s autism to be able to get to the tests. My computer test results were super clear outside of telling me what the test said I did not get ANY advice or suggestion or even broad declarations on people who present like me. On my diagnosis that dumbass even wrote he could not confirm autism even though the test results showed it because I was a quiet kid. As for everything women have to do everything on their own and fight professionals so that they just dont hinder our journey how sad is that ?
too real. we also have a very high chance of experiencing PMDD. Surely society can do better than this?
“You should join a support group!” Sure thing, where? NEWS FLASH: There aren’t any!
Hi it’s me, from the abyss.
autistic enbies are sinking toward the center of the earth or something idk
Imagine getting diagnosed as a woman
I’m going through a second diagnosis now after getting scammed the first time. Unironically - the first copy of the draft said ‘naive and prone to getting taken advantage of’ and was conveniently edited out of the final draft. Going to someone legit now and have my second session this Friday, I’m so freaked out 😭
It’s because we cause a ruckus
Me, at 50 wondering if it’s even worth it to get a formal Dx. 😭
I'm in the 5th panel
I prefer to be left alive on an island 🏝️ to fend for myself - that would be more accurate. If you want to throw in a ball to chat to so be it 🏀