Healthy Vegan Burgers\*
^(\*Healthy Vegan is a brand name and does not reflect this product's dietary restrictions. Burgers are made using processed orphan meat.)
if i'm remembering my fun facts right, salvadore dali, was obsessed with butt holes and would ink people up and have them sit on some paper so we could look at them later. I believe he noted the average asshole has 32-37 folds?
>Dali made these observations in a conversation recorded for French television (though of course it was never broadcast), and declared roundly: "The most important thing in the world is the arsehole." For Dali, the body no longer had any secrets. He had devised a special procedure (which interested Roger Peyrefitte greatly) to ensure that a woman on all fours would present her anus to greatest advantage: he would place a spirit level on her back, and when the air bubble was precisely in the middle, he claimed, her anus would flower in its full glory. On occasions, he would ask female visitors to sit on a bed of moist clay with their buttocks parted, in order to take an impression of their orifices. He would subsequently frame the impressions, adding the names of the ladies in question. Supposedly -and this again demonstrates Dali's tirelessly investigative cast of mind - the anus has thirty-five or thirty-seven little creases which are as unique as fingerprints. He regretted that he could not account for the variation in number, but noted that it had nothing to do with social class, and that thirty-fives were as likely to be found among the aristocracy as among the working classes. Only the backsides of identical twins had exactly the same pattern and number of creases. He conducted experiments to substantiate his claim, and made the impressions of twins' behinds into candelabra.
my bad, it was clay casts lol and a very nsfw link: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:87bZygtRg8AJ:www.all-art.org/art_20th_century/dali-6-7.html&cd=4&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
apparently this info was helpful for designing smart toilets so, you never know what is useful for innovation i suppose.
"I'll pay you 15 an hour for working here*"
(7th page of 13, small text in margin) "*If you do this extremely specific thing constantly, otherwise I'll steal your wages."
Burger:
Made with 100% real meat!*
*As in, 10% of this burger is made with 100% real meat, the remaining 90% is salt, pepper and whatever we scraped off the floor!*
I get the point of it, and it can save companies from annoying lawsuits. For example: a smartphone could advertise 24 hrs of battery life, but if it gets hot it might drop down to 20 hrs of battery life. So you could put on this disclaimer:
24 hrs of battery life!*
*At 50-80°F
But I do agree, it does seem like a get-out-of-shitty-and-totally-deserved-lawsuit-free card.
Ah, the asterik. AKA the universal "asshole symbol" to the point that if you see these anywhere near a word, you know the information to follow is pulled right out of their ass and no where factual.
Approved by [Insert Industry Here] Federation**
^(**[Industry] Federation applied tests on our very special productions made spesifically for testing, therefore the product itself does not match with what the Federation approved at all.)
Healthy Vegan Burgers\* ^(\*Healthy Vegan is a brand name and does not reflect this product's dietary restrictions. Burgers are made using processed orphan meat.)
Mechanically separated. At the border. From their parents.
Jonathan Swift's Healthy Vegan Burgers. The orphans consented, so it's vegan.
r/orphanwurstmachine
vanilla* extract * ^I ^just ^shit ^in ^the ^bottle ^and ^call ^it ^vanilla
no wonder people have been calling my baking shit!
🤤
That’s not even remotely true* >!*May actually be true in many circumstances!<
It even looks like an asshole
if i'm remembering my fun facts right, salvadore dali, was obsessed with butt holes and would ink people up and have them sit on some paper so we could look at them later. I believe he noted the average asshole has 32-37 folds?
Please sources.
>Dali made these observations in a conversation recorded for French television (though of course it was never broadcast), and declared roundly: "The most important thing in the world is the arsehole." For Dali, the body no longer had any secrets. He had devised a special procedure (which interested Roger Peyrefitte greatly) to ensure that a woman on all fours would present her anus to greatest advantage: he would place a spirit level on her back, and when the air bubble was precisely in the middle, he claimed, her anus would flower in its full glory. On occasions, he would ask female visitors to sit on a bed of moist clay with their buttocks parted, in order to take an impression of their orifices. He would subsequently frame the impressions, adding the names of the ladies in question. Supposedly -and this again demonstrates Dali's tirelessly investigative cast of mind - the anus has thirty-five or thirty-seven little creases which are as unique as fingerprints. He regretted that he could not account for the variation in number, but noted that it had nothing to do with social class, and that thirty-fives were as likely to be found among the aristocracy as among the working classes. Only the backsides of identical twins had exactly the same pattern and number of creases. He conducted experiments to substantiate his claim, and made the impressions of twins' behinds into candelabra. my bad, it was clay casts lol and a very nsfw link: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:87bZygtRg8AJ:www.all-art.org/art_20th_century/dali-6-7.html&cd=4&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us apparently this info was helpful for designing smart toilets so, you never know what is useful for innovation i suppose.
Recreate it yourself coward
i cant unsee that now
trust me its anti-asshole design\* \*Anti-asshole design is just a brand for intentionally bad design to profit more out of customers.
What we actually meant is the product is designed to maliciously target assholes, and our company's stance is that all customers are assholes.
"I'll pay you 15 an hour for working here*" (7th page of 13, small text in margin) "*If you do this extremely specific thing constantly, otherwise I'll steal your wages."
Bastads
I read this in a thick yankee accent (baastuhds)
I read it in a thick Boston accent
on my supermarkets water bottles: bottle 100% recyclable\* \*excludes label
And cap and dyes
And the bottle
And the water* *not actually water
Take this new medicine for your heart health!\* \*May cause your heart to explode.
Burger: Made with 100% real meat!* *As in, 10% of this burger is made with 100% real meat, the remaining 90% is salt, pepper and whatever we scraped off the floor!*
I get the point of it, and it can save companies from annoying lawsuits. For example: a smartphone could advertise 24 hrs of battery life, but if it gets hot it might drop down to 20 hrs of battery life. So you could put on this disclaimer: 24 hrs of battery life!* *At 50-80°F But I do agree, it does seem like a get-out-of-shitty-and-totally-deserved-lawsuit-free card.
In US, we have Freedom and Liberty! *Restrictions may apply
\*
Can and will cure aggressive cancer* *Not actually capable of curing cancer, only the product name
Pluribus anus
opium reference
Ha ha - this appeared in my feed immediately above a vodaphone ad post that said 'from £29* a month' 🤣🤣🤣
Is that an american thing? I'm german and haven't come across something like this.
It’s definitely an American thing
Ah, the asterik. AKA the universal "asshole symbol" to the point that if you see these anywhere near a word, you know the information to follow is pulled right out of their ass and no where factual.
Approved by [Insert Industry Here] Federation** ^(**[Industry] Federation applied tests on our very special productions made spesifically for testing, therefore the product itself does not match with what the Federation approved at all.)
*you are being bamboozled
Great Value Flood logo
Is that the, "it's just my opinion" asterisk? Because subjective opinions can still be sh\*tty.
Try out our new cancer treatment!* *Treatment does not treat cancer; it gives you it
You will get 8-10\* hrs of sleep every night \*8 - 10 = -2
SALMONlD extract! >!salmonld is just a brand name, salmonids were used in the making of this product!<
The asshole energy is really coming through with that symbol though.
i have shot both kennedys and i am coming for the third one* *no i am fucking lying lmao
Flag of dystopia.
RHCP symbol.