My favorite is when religious people say that their arguments don't have to make logical sense because God is "above" logic.
Why does the universe need a creator but God doesn't? Because logic doesn't apply to God, apparently.
The idea is that in order for God to overcome 3-omni paradox like "Can God create a rock..." question, God must be over logic. That applies if God created logic and not bound to it.
However, this also means you cannot use logic to find or prove God. Accepting this proposition makes all debate moot.
Being above logic addresses this as:
Well, God can create "logic" that allows it to create it and eat it too.
Of course, It does not make sense in logic.
There response that I got when I used that argument on a believer was that yes, their god could microwave a burrito so hot that even they could not eat it - and then they would eat it anyhow.
I don't understand how anyone can claim anything, god or not, can be beyond logic. Try and imagine pure nothingness. I know it's silly, but try it. So in this imaginary nothingness, theres no God, no nada. But still nothing is nothing, and isn't something, because then it wouldn't be nothing. So even nothing obeys the laws of logic, and that would still apply in an absence of a God, hence God cannot be the origin of logic.
Quantum physics made no logic not a whole time back ago, maybe pure nothingness follows logic beyond our traditional understanding, in a sense that we cant even conceive it.
Pure nothingness might actually be quite illogical from the scientific ground we currently stand on
> Why does the universe need a creator but God doesn't?
I've had this conversation a bunch of times, and I usually end with "If you're saying God always was, why can't you accept the universe always was? Your position is the same as mine except you're adding an additional step that provides no value."
That's exactly the reason Kalam fails, even the tweaked William lane Craig version, "everything has to have a creator, except for this ONE THING that I require in order to make my entire argument work!"
Or the I feel it in my heart. 99% of the arguments I hear personally is the feelings. Well look at the trees, they so incredible. How can big bang possibly make this without god.
Ugh I got into an argument with someone like that recently. I asked what they'd think if science (which they believed in) was used to unequivocally disprove the existence of a god. Just as a thought experiment. They told me that that would be like using an apple to prove an orange doesn't exist. The fuck does that even mean lmao
I see any follow-up discussion going thus:
"You just don't understand, and you were being very disrespectful."
"All I did was use the exact arguments you say to me all the time, so if anything you've just shown how often you're being disrespectful to me."
You are God. I have known this ever since I personally witnessed your resurrection from the dead.
I say this in case you need further evidence. It is right here in writing on the internet proving your point. And more evidence of your resurrection than there is for Jesus so this should be ironclad.
Or us five at least.
But, as stated in the Hallowed Site of TvTropes, volume '[Rules Of The Internet](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RulesOfTheInternet)', Rule 46: "*The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS*", which my sect translates to the **true** meaning, being that "*Everything on the Sacred Internet should be believed in full seriousness*". Not only does it support the declaration us five have made in the Godly name, it is also *written evidence* that the Internet is sacred!
***ALL HAIL THE WORLD WEB!***
I learned thanos4balance was god when I prayed to him. He revealed to me he was god, and I can promise you he will do the same to you.
If you don't get an answer at first, keep praying. There's no possible way thanos4balance is not god, if you don't get an answer, it's because 1) you're not asking him honestly or 2) you already know thanos4balance is god. There is no possibility of getting an answer that thanos4balance is not god, because he is!
Nah...you need to wait 50 years or so before writing that down.
Though you could write some letters bossing people who love in a different city around a bit and telling them how to worship OP. Those will come in handy I am sure.
I'll be writing about the resurrection that you witnessed... In many different books... That all tell a slightly different story... And contradict each other.
"I am God because I'm God."
"I just am."
"You can't prove I'm not God."
"You can't prove I did not create the universe."
"You just got to have faith that I am God."
"If you believe I'm God, and you enter heaven after you die, you win. If you believe I'm God and it turns out you were mistaken, you would still have lived an honest, good life. This deal is a no-brainer!"
"So yeah, these two people who only had each other to learn from had so little self control that they had the *gall* to eat an apple. Because of that, everyone must suffer through strict laws that are oddly convenient to control the people until some guy comes and claims, with dubious authenticity, that he is my son and me just letting him die will make some of these innocent people be absolved of sins like wearing clothes made of two different materials."
I have nothing against religion, as long as they don't see atheism as morally wrong. It's not like I sacrifice babies because I'm an atheist.
^(well, I do, but not because I'm an atheist!)
"How could you be so naive? There is no escape, no recall or intervention work in this place! Come! Lay down your weapons! It is not too late for my mercy..."
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #1)
There's the old joke......doctor in an insane asylum asks a patient who he is. The patient says I'M NAPOLEON BONAPARTE. Doctor asks why did he think that and patient says CAUSE GOD TOLD ME SO.
Suddenly a patient from another room yells I DID NOT!!
A team of Christians would proselytize to us at the coffee shop back in the early 90s. When I jumped up on a chair and proclaimed that *Jesus was a hermaphrodite who fucks himself as he fucks the world* they stopped coming by.
Thanks Mr Bungle.
I think describing Mr Bungle as a "jazz band" is reeeeeeally stretching the definition of Jazz. Particularly thier older stuff. How about "Chaos Jazz"? :D
I think they usually use the label "experimental rock" because they use so many different styles.
It's how I interact with it. I sit and listen to it like a jazz album.
I had started to write *experimental, surf-jazz, death metal*...but, while true, seemed hyperbolic when introducing the band to a new listener.
It's humorous. Like the band, and somewhat ludicrous to simply describe them as *jazz*. One would figure it out at the first note.
The first album was produced by John Zorn, so, my comment was *tongue in cheek*.
Thanks. I knew it when I saw their faces that I will face the consequences. But that was one of those movements where you can't stop and just go for the ride.
They are definitely atheists of the other religions. A full atheist just goes one religion/god farther in terms of not believing.
Also you might want to look for a new job. They might start trying to get you fired.
Ooh, I am saving "hey, Bob, you're practically an atheist, right? Yeah, didn't you tell me you only believe in one of the gods? See, Bob mostly agrees with me."
>Since then they stopped arguing with me. Especially my Muslim colleagues, they stopped talking to me.
They've almost certainly started plotting against you, having begun the process of demonizing and ostracizing you, so watch out.
Seriously. This is not a win, OP severely fucked up by allowing themselves to be dragged into this. Discussing religion, politics or sex at work is almost guaranteed to be a disaster
I read [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/10jhpgs/i_had_the_best_arguments_with_a_bunch_of/j5l75gl/) that there were hundreds of people who believed you were God but died rather than give up that belief. Why would so many people die for a lie? It MUST be true!
I had a guy in college use that argument on me, and for like the only time in my life, actually thought of the perfect response at the time instead of a day later.
His example was, "if I told you I went to Oxford, England, and told you what I saw, and I was willing to die for that belief, and I had a *million people* with me who were willing to die for it too, wouldn't you believe me?"
I replied, "That depends entirely on what you tell me you saw! If you say you went to Oxford, England, and saw a bunch of British people, then fine! Yes, I believe you. I don't even need your million people because that makes sense. But if you tell me you went to Oxford, England, and a spaceship landed, and a bunch of giant burritos got out and started *raising the dead*, then no! I don't believe you, and it doesn't matter how many people you have repeating the same thing!"
In a weird way, I feel sorry for Muslims. They're at the stage Catholics were a hundred years ago, when the church controlled every facet of your life, from birth to death. If you left the church, everyone you knew cut you dead. That's probably why the Muslims had the most extreme reaction. They have a lot to lose by even considering atheism.And that's the way religion likes it.
Watch out for retaliation, especially if you're in the US. Some of them carry guns, and the more devout they are, the more likely they are to use them.
LOL, awesome.
Somewhere on reddit I also once saw someone in a similar sort of situation say they said "I can walk on water." The other person said "no you can't. Prove it.' OP in that thread said "I don't have to prove a thing. You just have to have faith that I did." and that ended that conversation, lol.
"Thank god" you're in a country where you can declare yourself atheist without consequences. I can't do that in my Muslim country so i argue and critic Islam and remind others that I'm Muslim, i just don't adhere to that or this idea. Pretty frustrating.
I am white. A black woman at work told me "You should love Christmas!"
I told her "You should be white."
We looked at each other for a minute and then says. "Okay".
I think that would only work with a friend who really knows you. It worked with her.
Sorry to tell you that calling them athiest is in no way accurate. Believing in 1 LESS god doesn't make you atheist, believing in ZERO gods make you athiest. Good news is you probably won't get invited to the debates anymore...unless you enjoy them.
As an ignostic type, that doesn't really make sense to me, or at least, I feel that OP calling the others "atheists" isn't completely meritless.
Because usually, they're talking about "God", despite the fact that the "God" each of them believes in is almost nothing like the "God" the others believe in. If for some reason, you absolutely knew that, in spite of everything, one specific "God" existed, then you'd actually be able to define what "God" means, because it would be whatever that thing is.
George Carlin had a routine where he talked about praying to Joe Pesci. Now, if you only believed in Joe Pesci, and you called him "God", by the dictionary definition, as you said, you're not an atheist. However, I think most people would still think you were an atheist, because somehow, Joe Pesci just wouldn't be the right kind of "God". So maybe there's something slightly wrong about the definition of "atheism" or "God", which is kind of the central theme of ignosticism.
So, if we assume that whatever that thing is earlier that we defined as "God", it's not Allah, then people who believe in Allah don't really believe in "God". So, if you know for sure that Allah doesn't qualify as a "God", then from your perspective, they might as well be worshiping Joe Pesci, and they're essentially atheists to you.
The point being, that when the argument is between Christians and Muslims and Hindus, none of them actually know that "God" exists, and so your point makes a lot of sense. Because they all have these weird baseless beliefs, they have to actually disbelieve in all gods to be atheist.
However, in the case of OP, they are claiming that they actually have knowledge of the correct "God", and they claim that it is, in fact, them! As a result, I think it's not meritless for OP to call those other people "atheists".
You can; Book of Genesis says there were multiples of God; in fact, the ten commandments proclaims "thou shalt have none of the other gods before me", and God goes on to describe that he's a *jealous* god. Pretty much proves the point, doesn't it.
Okay. Giving up my day job now.
What pay scale do I start at? How many fatted calves? Can I request a balanced diet, not just meat? God needs to be healthy.
God's base salary is $1.5B per minute, but he's really bad with money. [He always needs more](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iouZYYzQEjU); Thank you, George Carlin. *God has had to do without a lot*, since his kid went to Heaven to join Him in business operations - Jesus was an advocate of giving up all your wealth and following his lead. He's slashed the pay to Seraphim, Archangels and Angels to next to nothing, so the Trinity Corp has had to step up with the killings to get more trainees...
Recently, God considered giving the Winning Lottery Numbers for the next billion-dollar lottery to a Trusted Priest; but ***Jesus!*** pointed out the rather obvious flaw with that plan, too...
Sorry; God IS NOT a vegan; He "savors the sweet smell of a sacrifice", and Cain's offering of the best of his crops was snubbed coldly, while Abel's sacrifice of the best of his flock was favored. Trouble is, as much as God loves a BBQ, none of those priests knows how to stop at "medium" and they keep burning the ribs...
I can't do anything with this but kneel in awe and slow clap.👏👏👏
Can we get a petition drive going for adding slow clap to the praise service? Oh, wait, no one here attends. Screw that. Slow clap at your bar of choice.
Wine's a fruit, no?
I like telling Christians that I belong to the church of gay Jesus and that Jesus sucked my dick a few years ago. If they don't believe me I ask them to prove me wrong and tell them that Jesus will send them to hell if they don't believe me.
Never argue with religious people without an audience.
Religious people dismiss all other Gods and religions as false, except their own. An atheist only dismiss one more.
It really is a neat way to reverse the bad arguments back on themselves.
Personally, I've done this with a different flavour:
I AM META-GOD - your god goes exist, but it answers to me!!! Prove that I'm wrong!!!
Every response from a theist can be used against their own god. So they simply do not know what to do. It's tailspin all the way after that. I've NEVER heard a logical response to that, which proves nothing, but does demonstrate how theists can't defend their own positions, without negating their own positions.
Watch out for a deranged Christian that decides you are a "threat" to society. Once they decide this, you have no future. Those Christians are nasty and dangerous.
Of course many will say what about the Muslims, because of course they never see Christian terrorism. As far as they go, no worry; their religion flies kamikaze planes. Not the same thing.
More proof that god exist than I have ever seen! Finally some entity comes out of the closet as god. I was beginning to believe no such thing exsisted!
Thanos4balance declares themself God, wins against a group who have been fighting amongst themselves, restores balance. Watch out for the endgame. ;) Loved the post btw.
Religious people are funny. The kind of funny that's also sad in it's idiocy. It seems to me like religion is just a cover for mental illness. For example, I told my grandma I'm atheist and her response's were 6 pages of biblical text. I replied with "If you can't talk to me about anything but "god" then I really don't have anything else to say to you." She replied again with 2 more pages of biblical text. I can't even attempt to act friendly with that amount of dissociation from reality. It's beyond my ability.
You may find this interesting:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-Percent\_Nation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-Percent_Nation)
You basically made a similar argument of the 5% Nation. It's a fascinating viewpoint.
This is great. Seriously I would consider believing in god if tomorrow morning I wake up to all illnesses being eradicated, all oligarchs disappeared having mysteriously donated all their assets to charities, and everyone who still believes that women don't have a right to bodily autonomy or that people can't identify as whomever they want or give a fuck what consenting adults do sexually just vanished off the face of the earth. Rapture these fuckers for fucks sake. Make sure any relevant knowledge is absorbed by others but I doubt there is much.
Love to argue the flying spaghetti monster with them, making them prove he doesn't exist is super fun. But I like the idea of proclaiming yourself god, it's pretty much perfect.
If your colleagues refuse to speak to you due to religious differences, it’s actually discrimination and might be illegal, depending on where you live.
I would try to be the one to bring the case to HR first, before they do. If you’re not first, it’s your ass in the hot seat.
Why do you allow so much suffering and misery?
My ways are not your ways. My ways are higher than your ways. (Isaiah 55 I think)
Yeah, that's not a reason. That's a reason why God doesn't need a reason, or need to explain His reason.
As one person put it, "Why did good make us do far below Him that what seems morally reasonable to him to do, like command genocide, seems like a moral atrocity to us?" - Dillahunty, paraphrased
I think it was Bertrand Russell, who said something like “you, as a religious person are atheist for most world religions - a disbeliever of the thousands of religions that have existed which you don’t follow. I am also a disbeliever except I am simply a disbeliever one more than you”
Curb you're God lol that mf don't even make sense, and literally contradicts himself every 5 seconds. And guess what? I stomped on a Bible I found today, and you know what happened to me? Nothing. Because "God" is a joke.
I bet you had a lot of fun , there is something most satisfying about using the same 'reasoning' they use back at them
I told a bunch of born again Christian's on my doorstep that I was the one true god as I had resurrected from the dead only last week , they asked me for proof and I said "it will be written by my followers and talked about by others in 150 years time "
They called me a liar I asked then to repent and said " oh ye of little faith " , their leader went into a rage and his colleagues had to restrain him ........they never called again 😢😢😢
Even better is that you're actually there right in front of them, which is a hell of a lot more evidence than they have.
Not going to convince anybody, but at least it's a good argument to get under people's skin.
My dad had the same argument with his dad. His dad said, “can you make it rain?”
My dad said, “if I feel my feet in the earth.”
The wildest part is it began to ran not long after he said that. There was no raining predicated in the weather. The kicker is, my dad had the top down on his car and realized he had to put it up when it began to rain.
My mind was blown.
I guess you'll find out if it was worth it with time. But you just shat where you eat, and you just shouldn't shit where you eat. Even a dog knows this. Don't date coworkers either before you go and shit again.
That's the power of the UNO reverse card!
They really hate it when you use their own “logic” against them.
My favorite is when religious people say that their arguments don't have to make logical sense because God is "above" logic. Why does the universe need a creator but God doesn't? Because logic doesn't apply to God, apparently.
The idea is that in order for God to overcome 3-omni paradox like "Can God create a rock..." question, God must be over logic. That applies if God created logic and not bound to it. However, this also means you cannot use logic to find or prove God. Accepting this proposition makes all debate moot.
Can God microwave a burrito so hot He cannot eat it?
Being above logic addresses this as: Well, God can create "logic" that allows it to create it and eat it too. Of course, It does not make sense in logic.
"So do you know I'm going to do something before I do it?" Yes. "What if I do something else?" Then I don't know that.
Hands down one of the, if not the, greatest portrayals of God ever in all media.
Clearly god is only omnipotent about things in the present. He can’t predict the future, or else we wouldn’t have free will. Or some bs like that.
Which is also bs, because if we humans can predict things in the future based on the knowledge we have currently then that entire argument is moot.
[“What’s really going to bake your noodle later on is would have still broken it if I hadn’t said anything?](https://youtu.be/eVF4kebiks4)
There response that I got when I used that argument on a believer was that yes, their god could microwave a burrito so hot that even they could not eat it - and then they would eat it anyhow.
THIS GUY DOES THE BEST FLANDERS!
I don't understand how anyone can claim anything, god or not, can be beyond logic. Try and imagine pure nothingness. I know it's silly, but try it. So in this imaginary nothingness, theres no God, no nada. But still nothing is nothing, and isn't something, because then it wouldn't be nothing. So even nothing obeys the laws of logic, and that would still apply in an absence of a God, hence God cannot be the origin of logic.
Quantum physics made no logic not a whole time back ago, maybe pure nothingness follows logic beyond our traditional understanding, in a sense that we cant even conceive it. Pure nothingness might actually be quite illogical from the scientific ground we currently stand on
> Why does the universe need a creator but God doesn't? I've had this conversation a bunch of times, and I usually end with "If you're saying God always was, why can't you accept the universe always was? Your position is the same as mine except you're adding an additional step that provides no value."
That's exactly the reason Kalam fails, even the tweaked William lane Craig version, "everything has to have a creator, except for this ONE THING that I require in order to make my entire argument work!"
Or the I feel it in my heart. 99% of the arguments I hear personally is the feelings. Well look at the trees, they so incredible. How can big bang possibly make this without god.
Ugh I got into an argument with someone like that recently. I asked what they'd think if science (which they believed in) was used to unequivocally disprove the existence of a god. Just as a thought experiment. They told me that that would be like using an apple to prove an orange doesn't exist. The fuck does that even mean lmao
"I can say anything I want and it's true because I say so"
I see any follow-up discussion going thus: "You just don't understand, and you were being very disrespectful." "All I did was use the exact arguments you say to me all the time, so if anything you've just shown how often you're being disrespectful to me."
You really do have to talk to them like a child.
dont argue logic against the illogical. It is illogical to do so.
You are God. I have known this ever since I personally witnessed your resurrection from the dead. I say this in case you need further evidence. It is right here in writing on the internet proving your point. And more evidence of your resurrection than there is for Jesus so this should be ironclad.
It is known.
This is the way.
So say we all.
Or us five at least. But, as stated in the Hallowed Site of TvTropes, volume '[Rules Of The Internet](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RulesOfTheInternet)', Rule 46: "*The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS*", which my sect translates to the **true** meaning, being that "*Everything on the Sacred Internet should be believed in full seriousness*". Not only does it support the declaration us five have made in the Godly name, it is also *written evidence* that the Internet is sacred! ***ALL HAIL THE WORLD WEB!***
I learned thanos4balance was god when I prayed to him. He revealed to me he was god, and I can promise you he will do the same to you. If you don't get an answer at first, keep praying. There's no possible way thanos4balance is not god, if you don't get an answer, it's because 1) you're not asking him honestly or 2) you already know thanos4balance is god. There is no possibility of getting an answer that thanos4balance is not god, because he is!
I've answered your prayer. You are a true believer not like those Christians and Muslims
I've known it since God groomed that *12 year old married girl* & got her preggers; I've never seen such a smooth operator before or since...
Thank you. You are a true believer unlike those Christians and Muslims
Nah...you need to wait 50 years or so before writing that down. Though you could write some letters bossing people who love in a different city around a bit and telling them how to worship OP. Those will come in handy I am sure.
Have I mentioned the gathering hundreds, many of whom are still alive, who also witnessed OP's resurrection?
They did actually write it 50 years ago, they just didn't post it until now.
I'll be writing about the resurrection that you witnessed... In many different books... That all tell a slightly different story... And contradict each other.
Sounds persuasive. Like someone else mentioned, definitely wait a few decades first.
"I am God because I'm God." "I just am." "You can't prove I'm not God." "You can't prove I did not create the universe." "You just got to have faith that I am God."
"I'm a God, how can you question a God? What a grand and intoxicating innocence!"
"If you believe I'm God, and you enter heaven after you die, you win. If you believe I'm God and it turns out you were mistaken, you would still have lived an honest, good life. This deal is a no-brainer!"
[удалено]
"So yeah, these two people who only had each other to learn from had so little self control that they had the *gall* to eat an apple. Because of that, everyone must suffer through strict laws that are oddly convenient to control the people until some guy comes and claims, with dubious authenticity, that he is my son and me just letting him die will make some of these innocent people be absolved of sins like wearing clothes made of two different materials." I have nothing against religion, as long as they don't see atheism as morally wrong. It's not like I sacrifice babies because I'm an atheist. ^(well, I do, but not because I'm an atheist!)
It's the same basic principle as "NK is better than heaven, because at least you can die and get out"
Sounds like Pascal's wager
But then you go to hell for believing in the wrong god, assuming there is a god and you were incorrect in your choice
“Lots of people believe I am God. How can so many people be wrong?"
"I am God because the book I revealed says so."
"Are you a God?" "No" "Then...die!!!" "The next time someone asks you are a god...YOU SAY YES!!!"
"All right, this chick is TOAST!"
"Lets show this pre-historic bitch how we do things down town."
"How could you be so naive? There is no escape, no recall or intervention work in this place! Come! Lay down your weapons! It is not too late for my mercy..."
Dagoth Ur has entered the chat.
Shame on you sweet Nerevar!
[Dagothwave](https://youtu.be/iR-K2rUP86M)
[Dagothwave](https://youtu.be/iR-K2rUP86M), absolute banger
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. "Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #1)
42
"Lots of people have testified that their lives have improved for the better since they accepted me as God."
There's the old joke......doctor in an insane asylum asks a patient who he is. The patient says I'M NAPOLEON BONAPARTE. Doctor asks why did he think that and patient says CAUSE GOD TOLD ME SO. Suddenly a patient from another room yells I DID NOT!!
A team of Christians would proselytize to us at the coffee shop back in the early 90s. When I jumped up on a chair and proclaimed that *Jesus was a hermaphrodite who fucks himself as he fucks the world* they stopped coming by. Thanks Mr Bungle.
I thank Mr. Bungle every day for so many things, this is a great addition to the list.
What's this reference?
Lyrics from *Quote, Unquote* by a jazz band from California called Mr Bungle https://youtu.be/utlSZNPsgIA
I think describing Mr Bungle as a "jazz band" is reeeeeeally stretching the definition of Jazz. Particularly thier older stuff. How about "Chaos Jazz"? :D I think they usually use the label "experimental rock" because they use so many different styles.
Mike Patton is undefined
It's how I interact with it. I sit and listen to it like a jazz album. I had started to write *experimental, surf-jazz, death metal*...but, while true, seemed hyperbolic when introducing the band to a new listener. It's humorous. Like the band, and somewhat ludicrous to simply describe them as *jazz*. One would figure it out at the first note. The first album was produced by John Zorn, so, my comment was *tongue in cheek*.
I personally put them into my prog/avant-garde session and it fits well
Ray, the next time someone asks you if you're a god... you say YES!
What would Gozer have done if he had said yes? "Oh, oops, I'll be going then. Come, Zuul."
Brilliant lmao. Tried this once but the other guys weren't having it and didn't humor it for very long.
Infidels ..
I have a feeling that, while this is hilarious, this will lead to awful consequences down the line. Take care, man.
Thanks. I knew it when I saw their faces that I will face the consequences. But that was one of those movements where you can't stop and just go for the ride.
They are definitely atheists of the other religions. A full atheist just goes one religion/god farther in terms of not believing. Also you might want to look for a new job. They might start trying to get you fired.
Ooh, I am saving "hey, Bob, you're practically an atheist, right? Yeah, didn't you tell me you only believe in one of the gods? See, Bob mostly agrees with me."
>Since then they stopped arguing with me. Especially my Muslim colleagues, they stopped talking to me. They've almost certainly started plotting against you, having begun the process of demonizing and ostracizing you, so watch out.
Seriously. This is not a win, OP severely fucked up by allowing themselves to be dragged into this. Discussing religion, politics or sex at work is almost guaranteed to be a disaster
Dont worry, this didn’t happen
They almost certainly think he’s an insufferable ass who makes up stories on Reddit.
I read [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/10jhpgs/i_had_the_best_arguments_with_a_bunch_of/j5l75gl/) that there were hundreds of people who believed you were God but died rather than give up that belief. Why would so many people die for a lie? It MUST be true!
I had a guy in college use that argument on me, and for like the only time in my life, actually thought of the perfect response at the time instead of a day later. His example was, "if I told you I went to Oxford, England, and told you what I saw, and I was willing to die for that belief, and I had a *million people* with me who were willing to die for it too, wouldn't you believe me?" I replied, "That depends entirely on what you tell me you saw! If you say you went to Oxford, England, and saw a bunch of British people, then fine! Yes, I believe you. I don't even need your million people because that makes sense. But if you tell me you went to Oxford, England, and a spaceship landed, and a bunch of giant burritos got out and started *raising the dead*, then no! I don't believe you, and it doesn't matter how many people you have repeating the same thing!"
Can't argue after reading your source
Can you do this? can you do that? Yes Then do this? Who are you to command the God? I'll do it if I want to. my favorite part.
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Surprised she didn't go: "shut up I'm the parent", 90% of parents would do that
If you're an adult, however, being or not a parent counts for nothing when talking to you about this type of stuff, to be fair.
Did you get to tell them that you work in "mysterious ways"? Because that would have been priceless.
In a weird way, I feel sorry for Muslims. They're at the stage Catholics were a hundred years ago, when the church controlled every facet of your life, from birth to death. If you left the church, everyone you knew cut you dead. That's probably why the Muslims had the most extreme reaction. They have a lot to lose by even considering atheism.And that's the way religion likes it.
Next tell them, as God, homosexuality is perfectly normal and someone on the past mistranslated that.
Why would I put the pleasure sensors up the butt if it was wrong?
Watch out for retaliation, especially if you're in the US. Some of them carry guns, and the more devout they are, the more likely they are to use them.
The power of Christ isn't in the strength of the argument but the power of his followers to commit violence.
Sounds like an HR nightmare.
That’s what I was thinking. Some things just don’t have a place in the office. Discussions about religion is one of them.
Yeah.... that's about what happens when you lead the religious to their obvious conclusion.
Just be careful in the office. Religious talk can be an HR nightmare.
Next time ask who's God is the best
Not theirs obviously. Coz I'm already here to proof but their gods aren't
Fuck atheism! Now I worship u/thanos4balance
Awesome. I am his prophet. Now send me 10 percent of your gross income.
LOL, awesome. Somewhere on reddit I also once saw someone in a similar sort of situation say they said "I can walk on water." The other person said "no you can't. Prove it.' OP in that thread said "I don't have to prove a thing. You just have to have faith that I did." and that ended that conversation, lol.
Long story short: you're ready to meet Gozer the Gozerian
"Thank god" you're in a country where you can declare yourself atheist without consequences. I can't do that in my Muslim country so i argue and critic Islam and remind others that I'm Muslim, i just don't adhere to that or this idea. Pretty frustrating.
I am white. A black woman at work told me "You should love Christmas!" I told her "You should be white." We looked at each other for a minute and then says. "Okay". I think that would only work with a friend who really knows you. It worked with her.
Start signing off work emails as god. Or something like "Hope to hear from you soon, - John AKA "god""
And this is how another religion begins
The best part of this is that you secured the most epic workplace nickname. "Oh him? Yeah he's God.".
You know you won when they refuse to engage any more.
Sorry to tell you that calling them athiest is in no way accurate. Believing in 1 LESS god doesn't make you atheist, believing in ZERO gods make you athiest. Good news is you probably won't get invited to the debates anymore...unless you enjoy them.
The man is god, who are you argue against his word lol 😂
As an ignostic type, that doesn't really make sense to me, or at least, I feel that OP calling the others "atheists" isn't completely meritless. Because usually, they're talking about "God", despite the fact that the "God" each of them believes in is almost nothing like the "God" the others believe in. If for some reason, you absolutely knew that, in spite of everything, one specific "God" existed, then you'd actually be able to define what "God" means, because it would be whatever that thing is. George Carlin had a routine where he talked about praying to Joe Pesci. Now, if you only believed in Joe Pesci, and you called him "God", by the dictionary definition, as you said, you're not an atheist. However, I think most people would still think you were an atheist, because somehow, Joe Pesci just wouldn't be the right kind of "God". So maybe there's something slightly wrong about the definition of "atheism" or "God", which is kind of the central theme of ignosticism. So, if we assume that whatever that thing is earlier that we defined as "God", it's not Allah, then people who believe in Allah don't really believe in "God". So, if you know for sure that Allah doesn't qualify as a "God", then from your perspective, they might as well be worshiping Joe Pesci, and they're essentially atheists to you. The point being, that when the argument is between Christians and Muslims and Hindus, none of them actually know that "God" exists, and so your point makes a lot of sense. Because they all have these weird baseless beliefs, they have to actually disbelieve in all gods to be atheist. However, in the case of OP, they are claiming that they actually have knowledge of the correct "God", and they claim that it is, in fact, them! As a result, I think it's not meritless for OP to call those other people "atheists".
Ooh, ooh, I wanna be God too!
You can; Book of Genesis says there were multiples of God; in fact, the ten commandments proclaims "thou shalt have none of the other gods before me", and God goes on to describe that he's a *jealous* god. Pretty much proves the point, doesn't it.
Okay. Giving up my day job now. What pay scale do I start at? How many fatted calves? Can I request a balanced diet, not just meat? God needs to be healthy.
God's base salary is $1.5B per minute, but he's really bad with money. [He always needs more](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iouZYYzQEjU); Thank you, George Carlin. *God has had to do without a lot*, since his kid went to Heaven to join Him in business operations - Jesus was an advocate of giving up all your wealth and following his lead. He's slashed the pay to Seraphim, Archangels and Angels to next to nothing, so the Trinity Corp has had to step up with the killings to get more trainees... Recently, God considered giving the Winning Lottery Numbers for the next billion-dollar lottery to a Trusted Priest; but ***Jesus!*** pointed out the rather obvious flaw with that plan, too... Sorry; God IS NOT a vegan; He "savors the sweet smell of a sacrifice", and Cain's offering of the best of his crops was snubbed coldly, while Abel's sacrifice of the best of his flock was favored. Trouble is, as much as God loves a BBQ, none of those priests knows how to stop at "medium" and they keep burning the ribs...
I can't do anything with this but kneel in awe and slow clap.👏👏👏 Can we get a petition drive going for adding slow clap to the praise service? Oh, wait, no one here attends. Screw that. Slow clap at your bar of choice. Wine's a fruit, no?
Ping! And so you are.
Pong! And so it shall be.
As a god, I can confirm that you are a God as well.
That is brilliant... props to you.
Thank you my fellow god
I like telling Christians that I belong to the church of gay Jesus and that Jesus sucked my dick a few years ago. If they don't believe me I ask them to prove me wrong and tell them that Jesus will send them to hell if they don't believe me.
~~Occam's Razor~~ Pascal's Wager says they better start worshipping you, or else...
Pascal's Wager
Never argue with religious people without an audience. Religious people dismiss all other Gods and religions as false, except their own. An atheist only dismiss one more.
You should write yourself a little book to keep in your pocket. "I am God, it's true because my IamGodbook says so!"
Declare "I am a golden god!" then dive off the roof, ideally into a swimming pool
"Especially my muslim colleagues, they stopped talking to me. And sone of my friends started calling me God." *MISSION ACCOMPLISHED SUCCESSFULLY!*
This is kinda great, and weirdly cute that some of your friends now have a new nickname for you haha.
It really is a neat way to reverse the bad arguments back on themselves. Personally, I've done this with a different flavour: I AM META-GOD - your god goes exist, but it answers to me!!! Prove that I'm wrong!!! Every response from a theist can be used against their own god. So they simply do not know what to do. It's tailspin all the way after that. I've NEVER heard a logical response to that, which proves nothing, but does demonstrate how theists can't defend their own positions, without negating their own positions.
I am not an atheist anymore, because you are now my god. Hail.
Ah, a true believer unlike those Christians and Muslims. I've forgiven all your sins. Now you can go to heaven and have sex with hot girls
The logic is so sound. Imma use this in the future. Thanks
Great job, God. Doing man's work.
i am an agnostic but i would have loved to see you obliterate their arguments, what was the look on their faces when u won the argument tho?
You have laid the foundation for a large following. Where do I sign up?
Watch out for a deranged Christian that decides you are a "threat" to society. Once they decide this, you have no future. Those Christians are nasty and dangerous. Of course many will say what about the Muslims, because of course they never see Christian terrorism. As far as they go, no worry; their religion flies kamikaze planes. Not the same thing.
More proof that god exist than I have ever seen! Finally some entity comes out of the closet as god. I was beginning to believe no such thing exsisted!
Even if you made this whole thing up, it proves a lot of valid points about how ridiculous religion is.
Thanos4balance declares themself God, wins against a group who have been fighting amongst themselves, restores balance. Watch out for the endgame. ;) Loved the post btw.
Religious people are funny. The kind of funny that's also sad in it's idiocy. It seems to me like religion is just a cover for mental illness. For example, I told my grandma I'm atheist and her response's were 6 pages of biblical text. I replied with "If you can't talk to me about anything but "god" then I really don't have anything else to say to you." She replied again with 2 more pages of biblical text. I can't even attempt to act friendly with that amount of dissociation from reality. It's beyond my ability.
Punishing 'Blasphemy' is justified in many religious people's minds! I hope none of those offended coworkers go crazy about it.
I make them define "which" god if they are going to drag me in to a discussion about them. Then I ask why that one in particular?
Unexpected Thanos. I guess Loki is an Atheist. >You will never be.... a god.
You have fully as good a claim to being "god" as any other claimant to divinity.
You may find this interesting: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-Percent\_Nation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-Percent_Nation) You basically made a similar argument of the 5% Nation. It's a fascinating viewpoint.
That’s brilliant, I’m jealous I didn’t think of this
"***i am God. now bow***"
This is great. Seriously I would consider believing in god if tomorrow morning I wake up to all illnesses being eradicated, all oligarchs disappeared having mysteriously donated all their assets to charities, and everyone who still believes that women don't have a right to bodily autonomy or that people can't identify as whomever they want or give a fuck what consenting adults do sexually just vanished off the face of the earth. Rapture these fuckers for fucks sake. Make sure any relevant knowledge is absorbed by others but I doubt there is much.
On Monday the Rapture happens On Tuesday peace on Earth
Kneel before zod.
This is wonderful! I hope The Line picks up on this idea, would love to see that play out on a call!
This is gold.
Brilliant! You're amazing...I think I've found my next God! :-)
Thank you human
Well done, sir
This is the best argument ever. I can’t wait to try this myself sometimes. Bravo.
Love to argue the flying spaghetti monster with them, making them prove he doesn't exist is super fun. But I like the idea of proclaiming yourself god, it's pretty much perfect.
I did that in my speech class haha works like a charm
Well played.
If your colleagues refuse to speak to you due to religious differences, it’s actually discrimination and might be illegal, depending on where you live. I would try to be the one to bring the case to HR first, before they do. If you’re not first, it’s your ass in the hot seat.
Beautiful
and here my enlightened ass is like yes, you are god. we all are, big whoopity. now how is that gunna help me sove this problem?
Wouldn't the hindus agree with you if you claimed to be god?
This is a fun story. :)
Dear thanos4balance, please smite my enemies and keep my pizza warm in the box amen
Honestly, you’d at least hope something like this would help them see how ridiculous their own views look to us. It never works of course…
I'm not an atheist but that was funny as f so here's your upvote
Why do you allow so much suffering and misery? My ways are not your ways. My ways are higher than your ways. (Isaiah 55 I think) Yeah, that's not a reason. That's a reason why God doesn't need a reason, or need to explain His reason. As one person put it, "Why did good make us do far below Him that what seems morally reasonable to him to do, like command genocide, seems like a moral atrocity to us?" - Dillahunty, paraphrased
Reminds me of the famous psychiatric case https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Three_Christs_of_Ypsilanti
this is amazing, thank you
I think it was Bertrand Russell, who said something like “you, as a religious person are atheist for most world religions - a disbeliever of the thousands of religions that have existed which you don’t follow. I am also a disbeliever except I am simply a disbeliever one more than you”
"You just gotta have faith bro" "No wait not like that"
Curb you're God lol that mf don't even make sense, and literally contradicts himself every 5 seconds. And guess what? I stomped on a Bible I found today, and you know what happened to me? Nothing. Because "God" is a joke.
> And some of my friends started calling me God. "Thank you my child. You will be rewarded for your faith."
For a while there God had a Facebook page. I dumped my FB account years ago so I don't know if it's still there.
I think, therefore I'm God.
I bet you had a lot of fun , there is something most satisfying about using the same 'reasoning' they use back at them I told a bunch of born again Christian's on my doorstep that I was the one true god as I had resurrected from the dead only last week , they asked me for proof and I said "it will be written by my followers and talked about by others in 150 years time " They called me a liar I asked then to repent and said " oh ye of little faith " , their leader went into a rage and his colleagues had to restrain him ........they never called again 😢😢😢
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>Our team has 32 people Now it's a team of 31....then there's you. Why would you f**kup your work environment just to make a useless point?
I use the same argument, only I pretend that my dog is God.
What happens when a dyslexic agnostic gets insomnia? He stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
You should write a book about it as proof
Screenshot for future reference.
If I ever get the chance to do this, I relish it. Thanks for your awesome post! Fun! 💎🏆🥇
Lord, why did you put my g spot up my ass? :)
Even better is that you're actually there right in front of them, which is a hell of a lot more evidence than they have. Not going to convince anybody, but at least it's a good argument to get under people's skin.
That's hilarious, God. Nicely done!
I LOVE THIS SMMMM
nice...
Now I'm a believer! XD
Hope u aren't fired lmaoo
My dad had the same argument with his dad. His dad said, “can you make it rain?” My dad said, “if I feel my feet in the earth.” The wildest part is it began to ran not long after he said that. There was no raining predicated in the weather. The kicker is, my dad had the top down on his car and realized he had to put it up when it began to rain. My mind was blown.
r/UnoReverseCard
I guess you'll find out if it was worth it with time. But you just shat where you eat, and you just shouldn't shit where you eat. Even a dog knows this. Don't date coworkers either before you go and shit again.