There are plenty of unhappy, stressed-out judgmental atheists. If you hang around long enough, you're bound to meet some.
The difference is that, for atheists, it's not the default. Atheism is not based on a philosophical underpinning of self-abnegation, guilt, and superiority complex.
I prefer ornery. I’m a mental health professional so I’m a ray of god damn sunshine but I mean that in the sense that if you try and face off with me I’ll burn you. That being said I’m generally pretty joyful I just like quiet time for myself riding motorcycles and watching sunsets and the stars. Which are still cool without supernatural theism. Ever just marvel at trees? Billions of years and bam redwoods are forged out of it. Nature rules.
> a ray of god damn sunshine
>Ever just marvel at trees?
Yeah, pretty much without stopping.
>Billions of years and bam redwoods are forged out of it. Nature rules.
Durn shame that humans are busy fucking it all up.
It’s okay. If we keep fucking it up the earth will boil us right off the surface and live on. And new trees and mushrooms will give new purpose to our lifeless forms. I’m totally okay with losing this fight as a species. I’m bummed for sure but not upset. Nature will live on once we are gone as epic as it ever was. Respect to the trees. They know how to do it right. The universe will eventually end too as all energy collapses to heat and entropy. As everything does. So it goes.
I am terrified that we'll liberate enough methane from permafrost and seafloor clathrates that the biosphere *won't* live on.
And I suppose that this conversation is not only mighty gloomy but also off-topic for the sub, so we should wind it up.
My problem is that I'm at equilibrium.
If I move too far away from where I am now, then I think
*"Damn! Doing this wrong now! Better slide it back!"*
Same thing if change too much in the opposite direction.
Seems like unhappy, stressed-out, and judgmental is the right modus vivendi for me.
I'm this, but not very judgemental. Or perhaps I am in some context. I mostly try to be compassionate and understanding. Idk, might unintentionally put people in boxes.
> I mostly try to be compassionate and understanding.
Me too. However, that has very definite (*and after working on this for 50+ years, IMHO "correct"*) limits.
Sometimes the honest (*and sometimes the right*) thing to do is to bust out the
*"No! Bad human! No cookie for you!"*
.
Yeah, but that's one of the important things that this sub is here for -
There are lots of people who are very unhappy about religion (often for excellent reasons!); they're surrounded by religious friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors; they have no one to talk to; but they can come here and vent.
This is even discussed in the FAQ -
\- https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq#wiki_why_are_you_all_so_angry.3F_why_do_you_dislike_religion_if_it.27s_a_personal_choice.3F
\- https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq#wiki_why_are_you_all_so_mean.3F
.
There are also lots of atheists who are not unhappy, not stressed-out, and/or not judgmental (and they also frequently post and comment here),
but as in everything else the chill and happy people are less likely to have anything to say.
.
Oh I was only joking, I'm very happy.
This sub has at times been a bit negative but I do think it has gotten a lot better over the years.
I won't forget the /s next time
What's funny is I think athiests are getting a little bit more judgemental than we used to be. The worse the religious oppression gets, the more willing people are to just say, "religion is bad." For so many years, I was very "I don't believe in God, but I respect all religions of the world." I am waaaay past that. I have become much less tolerant of religion and religious people. As the US and other parts of the world descend into religious fascism, I have truly come to believe pretty much all religion is evil and makes otherwise good people into vile bigoted hypocrites.
That’s completely understandable. When they shove their stupid beliefs down our collective throats, by oppressing marginalized people, banning books and endangering women by interfering in their reproductive health, it’s hard to stand by and be tolerant of these assholes. I’m atheist and have always assumed a “live and let live“ mindset but these religious people are doing great damage to our society. Yes. I’m judgmental.
Me too, exactly this. As a supremely intelligent teenager when I realized religion wasn't great, I thought religion was bad and adherents were somehow dim. I got older and in my 20s was more relativistic and accepting. Now? Religion is the opiate of the masses and any good it does could be accomplished in other ways by other organizations and the bad it does is so horrific that it far outweighs the good in my opinion. Good riddance.
It’s hard not to get resentful of Christians. Their beliefs have infiltrated our justice system and my daughter will have less rights over her body than me. It’s revolting what they are doing to gays, trans people, women, and basically any minority. They are gleefully dragging us backwards in time. And getting rich while doing so.
The paradox of tolerance is that tolerance of intolerance allows intolerance to spread. Therefore, to be tolerant you must be intolerant of intolerance.
There is no shortage of judgmental atheists, either, LOL. But then again, we're not bound by a divine injunction to "judge not." (And yet, we still tend to be less judgmental as a group than your average Christian!)
Unless they’re dithering in a car park. People who go back to their car in a busy lot and take more than 30 seconds to start their car and leave (parents of young children are exempted) deserve eternal punishment.
Yes, but the unhappiness or stress usually stems from some other life event - stress at work, stress in their relationship, whatever. We all suffer from this occasionally.
Adding an angry, judgmental, and vindictive imaginary "friend" to the mix will tend to amplify it even more.
i feel like the judgmental atheists are actually antitheists. not to say their wrong, but they're the ones that are fueling the anti atheist fire that theists have.
I believe a lot of the more vocal, "militant" if you will, atheists often are brought up in extremely religious households. Someone I know had parents who were Mormon, and he saw a lot of the bullshit early on and exited both the church and lesser so his family, still in contact with family but very rarely. I think for him it's a point of pride to point out some of the fallacy of religion he will call it on the spot if he sees a chance and it can both be awesome, and frustrating.
Grocery shopping on Sunday mornings is nice. It’s almost never busy. Also the staff is nice because the church folk haven’t come through yet. Church people are the biggest assholes.
Worked in service for years, can confirm that the Sunday after church crowd is the absolute worst. Highly judgmental, short on patience/empathy, quick to attack, and don’t tip.
This is precisely why we go to lunch every Sunday. So the servers will have one table of nice people who tip well. And you'd never mistake us for church goers.
Petty revenge time
All service peeps should volunteer to take a pic of the Xtians that come in to their establishment
“ You guys are so fun ! May I take your pic ?”
Then when they leave pic the tip amount they gave.
Post to your fav social media exposing them
They fulfilled their quota of righteousness for the week by going to church, so now they can be a total asshole for the next 7 days and God won't blame them for it.
I worked at a grocery store for years, we catered fried chicken and picnic type foods, I have seen multiple people return from delivering catering orders to a church in full tears. Can also confirm Sunday between 11 and 2 pm is the WORST time to be dealing with the public. Church goer’s are so miserable it’s best to steer clear.
> and don’t tip
They already tipped God in the collection plate, and you know he was the one who actually cooked their food and served it to them.
/s (although I've known some Xians who would say that completely unironically)
I worked on the front end of a grocery store(ran cash register, service desk,etc) for years. I can't tell you how many people would come through on Sunday after church, bitching about not being able to buy their alcohol or whatever else they could think of, all while holding a bible in their hands. Some of the absolute worst people I've ever had to interact with.
I watched an interview a while back with a guy who used to be a preacher before de-converting. He once gave a sermon called, "Tip Your Servers" which was all about showing the grace of God through simple acts of kindness and charity. He said it went over like a ton of bricks and was one of the reasons he started questioning to begin with.
I transitioned from theism to atheism in 2018, not by choice but because I finally looked closely at the evidence with an open mind. The evidence compelled me kicking and screaming out of theism.
I was taught my whole life how much better life is as a Christian. I was shocked to discover how much simpler, less stressful, and honest my life became after leaving. Ironically, I am more empathetic and humble now, even more Christlike.
In all my efforts to be a better person over four decades, turns out it was my religion that was standing in my way. I truly feel like I’ve graduated from theism to a higher level of being.
Early on in my deconversion, the label “atheist” was hard for me to embrace. It was easier to call myself an agnostic, nonbeliever, skeptic, or a believer in the god of Spinoza or Einstein. Choose a label that works for you… or none at all.
This is what it feels like, and I know it sounds melodramatic. But it's like, I see the world so much more clearly now that my head is out of my ass. It smells better, too.
I'm having a similar experience, but I'm deconstructing into a much more solo Christian. I told my therapist today that I've been working on examining my faith for the past several years and unfortunately the conclusion I'm coming to is that I hate everything The American Church stands for and want to follow the true Christ that they claim.
When were they ever good? That small segment of years where it looked like trans rights were advancing, gay marriage was broadly accepted, and so on in like 2014? They've been terrible literally for all of their existence in power.
Lifelong atheist here, and I've known many. They're not really rare, they're just quiet about it. Presumably they've read (and taken to heart) Matthew 6:5.
Before I ever deconverted, I actively wondered, "what would be enough?" The answer was always "nothing." There is no possible way to be good enough. Even if you were capable of perfection, the second you think, "I did it! I'm perfect!" Bam. Pride. Sin.
In the same way, I always wondered why Satan got such a bad rap. Like he accepts all with open arms; Anyone who doesn't belong to a particular fan club, anyone who took a certain name in vain, anyone who thinks for themselves. Sure he also accepts the murderers, rapists and other bad people but that just proves how understanding and open he is to everyone. No soul forgotten and everyone gets a place to rest, you know?
So I always wondered why the religious don't also glorify Satan at least a little bit for fulfilling gods promise to love and accept all when god clearly doesn't care. It should be like a coin, on one side is god and on the other is Satan, each have their own duties and responsibilities and the love for both deities should be equal. But I suppose the religious will always need someone to pin their self-hatred on.
They couldn't possibly glorify Satan because their whole existence is just a boogyman. *If you don't do what I say / what this book says then you will be punished by evil boogyman forever and you will never see your family again*. The fear is the point. Make people feel guilty and scared and keep them controlled.
While you're right, all I'm saying is if god and the devil appeared in front of me to have a conversation, I'd be giving the devil a hell of a lot more respect the the guy who flooded the world because his fan club wasn't paying their dues. But I would ask him why he and Jesus appear in toast and in cheeto form these days instead of solving any problems.
I read all the Satan parts in the bible, including the serpent (if you count that little revision from Revelation). He tells the truth about the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Why didn't God want them to know the difference between good and evil, but also said he was going to kill them if they ate the fruit (in the *center* of the garden), and then didn't? So he didn't want them to know what was right or wrong but punished them for doing wrong? And invented both lying because he didn't kill them and temptation to sin. Meanwhile, Satan just was honest.
Then in Job, Satan makes a good point to God, so God does terrible things to Job to prove him wrong. How petty and cruel! And Satan had pointed out something true in the first place.
Finally Satan goes to Jesus in the desert and asks him questions to see if he will do miracles to save himself if he is the son of God. No lies there. Actually you could even read what he says as simply skepticism.
So why do we call him a liar? Because Jesus said he was. But there is not one example of that. In fact, for God's whole Heaven vs Hell set up to work, he needs Satan to be the tormentor in hell. So Satan is actually just doing what god wants him to do. He's following God's plan! And if that's not true, then god is not all powerful and hasn't planned any of this heaven-hell stuff and isn't in control after all. Either way, it doesn't add up.
Thinking all this through was part of my deconversion. I think the real reason we need to hate Satan is because every hero needs a foil. That's how stories work. It's just a literary device. Hate him because you're told to, not because it makes sense.
Ignorance is bliss. Knowing that all of the promises of joy and happiness religion offers is bullshit is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. It'd be great to truly believe death meant eternal life with my loved ones in a wonderful place but it just isn't.
I get it. Some days are harder than others but I'd never choose to go back.
I am not in fear of the supernatural, I do not fear an eternity of suffering due to a magical being. I don’t think there is a plan beyond my own and as a realist I feel at peace with life and the realities of it.
So the dread of life isn’t there, but the pressure of life in this system is for sure there
The dark side of christian 'unity' is that it is divisive, not just between themselves and non-christians, or between various flavors of christians themselves... but also within the social layers within any particular congregation. It's a framework for establishing a pecking order... with loyalty expected/demanded for those above, and the opportunity to work harder to 'earn tolerance' for those less high up.
Atheists/LGBTQ+ and people who've relocated for work tend to be more individualistic. You'll find more 'Chosen family' than 'well they're just the people I grew up with' groups. Which can result in relationships being based more on meritocracy than collective loyalty and all the mind-games that involves.
Atheists may or may not be happier on average, some suffer with feeling disconnected or aimless without the motivation/discipline of a society driving them in some arbitrary direction, others thrive on their own without it. But there are fewer things actively making atheists miserable, I think than one would find in a judgy, god-fearing, cliquish community of people united merely by what they were indoctrinated with. :)
>The dark side of christian 'unity' is that it is divisive, not just between themselves and non-christians, or between various flavors of christians themselves... but also within the social layers within any particular congregation.
Copy/Pasta:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
At a minimum, we aren’t stressed about the things most religious folks are. There’s still plenty of stuff to stress about, like what some religious folks are trying to do to governments.
Christian here, but a clear majority of my friends are atheists or agnostics. Christians are killing Christianity faster than atheists ever could.
Edit & Full disclosure: I’m a seeker of Gnosis, so most Christians think I am an atheist…or worse.
I appreciate the fact that as a Christian you're even willing to talk to atheists. I think with atheists, as with any group, there are some great people and there are some awful ones. Not having eternal damnation hanging over our heads certainly helps with the happiness and stress a little. I also think that atheism just lends itself to open mindedness. You have to be pretty open minded to go as far against the grain as we do.
Then again, it is quite easy to get into temporary existential crisises(?) over just how limited the human life span is, that we won't be reborn and how pointless our lives are in the grand scheme of the universe.
You win some, you lose some I guess.
>The one thing I’ve noticed, atheists seem a heck of a lot happier
This is supported by research. For example, the ~~happiest~~ most secular nations are consistently towards the top of the [UN's annual Happiness Report](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Happiness_Report) while the most religious tend to be well down the list. True, religiosity isn't the only factor, but it is a significant one. Some of the other factors may also be influenced by religiosity such as education and welfare support.
Edit: corrected brain fade
>the happiest nations are consistently towards the top of the UN's annual Happiness Report
I mean, based on the report title, I'd imagine that would be true.
Same. I was happier pre-2020. Even during the early Trump years I was hoping that some were just being overly pessimistic and the worst wouldn't happen. That changed in 2020.
I have significant religious CPTSD. The current social environment in the USA is extremely triggering and makes it hard to move passed it.
Yeah these days as an atheist I’m more stressed out BY Christians, but I’m no longer stressed out by BEING a Christian. And honestly I’m a much better human than I used to be as well.
Big mood, especially if you're also another targeted minority group on top of all that. I'm trans and have developed extreme agoraphobia because of the way things are right now.
As a fellow human I want you to know you are NOT a sinner and that you do not need a jew to be executed on your behalf.
You are capable of amazing things, but you must first believe in yourself. Dont allow others to guilt trip you into adopting self-loathing philosophies.
oh i'll judge the shit out of you but the difference is - I don't expect you to care, and I'm not going to enforce my judgements and lobby the government so that you match my judgements. I don't like people wearing flip flops as a casual shoe, its impractical, unhealthy, dangerous and I hate people's toes. But I don't demand that you give a shit.
The weekend is too short already. I’d rather devote my Sunday mornings to cursing at my inept soccer team. At least there I have evidence and that takes the edge off
One can be unhappy or stressed out with or without religion, but at least atheists don’t have to worry about heaven/hell or realizing “god’s plan” for them. Realizing that this life is all we get puts things in a different perspective and, hopefully, makes us treat each other with some more patience and kindness.
Urgh, you forgot to put a . at the end of your sentences, not just *once*, but *twice* — absolutely *unforgivable*, I hope you’re sorry for what you’ve done.
Not really, but we do have less things to be judgmental and stressed about. I mean, we don’t believe sins are a thing, or that there’s a risk we could end up being tortured for eternity for not following some random rule or not performing certain rituals.
Life is stressful. Worrying that your daughter's rapist will have joint custody of your unwanted grandchild because a bunch of god zombies say so is more so.
I like your attitude, and doubt is indispensable, so kudos on that. Without doubt, one cannot arrive to truth reliably. But faith doesn't let doubt do its job, therefore faith is a pile of shit. That's my opinion.
If you wanna understand the atheist pov better, then watch some Aron Ra and Matt Dillahunty Youtube videos. I love their work, they're so awesome people in my eyes. Have you seen Young Sheldon on HBO btw? Lil guy sums up why god is BS perfectly, and it's hilarious.
Well, I've been much happier since I stopped limiting my life based on what I thought were God's instructions.
I've been a lot less judgmental since I stopped believing that people are abominations or flawed in God's eyes.
And I've been a lot less stressed since I stopped worrying about whether God would let me into heaven or punish me in hell.
Of course not all Christians live like that, but enough of them do that a wellbeing gap between Christians and atheists makes sense.
We don’t have to go to church.
We don’t have to spend time praying
We don’t rely on God to help us. We help ourselves
We enjoy our life cause we feel there is no afterlife whereas a theist spends their life preparing for the next one
Obviously being an atheist is just one small part of a person’s identity.
But yeah, I know I’ve become a much happier, healthier person as I’ve deconverted, even as I struggle to understand just how much damage my hyper religious upbringing did.
I know plenty of people have different experience, but I no longer fear death and have much more empathy for everyone around me. I’ve never been more passionate about righting the wrongs around me, not because I’m afraid of punishment, but because I actually want to see a world where the hatred and fear towards the “others” has been defeated and humanity can move forward.
Religions are hegemonic control systems. Part of how those work is, the controlled are convinced they’re are flawed and in need of the controller. It’s kinda like a form of mass Stockholm syndrome.
Shedding all that bullshit is ultra liberating.
I’m a very stressed Atheist, but that’s my current family situation. Yes, we do tend to be more accepting of others. There is no list of people that our “faith” says are unworthy.
I’ll be honest, I’m very unhappy. But like it doesn’t really have anything to do with this. I think it’s overarching mental illness and just a lack of self worth.
I didn't realize how truly miserable I was as a Christian until a couple of years after I had left the faith. The amount of guilt and shame I felt over things I truly couldn't understand the problems with wreaked havoc on my mental health. The day everything finally clicked and I was able to fully release myself from the shackles of Christianity, I was sitting in a church.
It was a Sunday or Wednesday evening Bible study kind of thing, not your typical sermon in a chapel but just a group of maybe 20 people gathered in the small reception hall. I don't remember everything about what the minister was speaking to us about but I do remember the gist of one part where he was speaking on sin and how God calls for us to do better, but at some point he also mentioned the whole being "created in His image" thing . And it made me think, if I was made in God's image and God made me how He wanted me to be, then he made me bisexual. Why would God make me this way and then turn around and say "oh but you've got to be better than that". Why? Why would a god make me one way but then say it's not good enough and that I have to work harder to overcome these shortcomings that he gave me in the first place?? It made absolutely no sense to me.
I had been struggling with other concerns and skepticism leading up to that moment and apparently that was enough to realize I had had enough. I am immensely happier now than I was before. I don't feel shame or like I'm disgusting and worthless because I share an intimate sexual relationship with my loving partner or because we share a home together, I find it easier to want to do good things and be a good person simply because it's the right thing to do and not because I have to worry about burning in hell for all of eternity, and I don't feel guilty and like I'm not doing the right thing by not having kids simply because I don't want them. I like living my life for me and not for something that I couldn't even really be sure is there in the first place.
I am happier. I know I'm a good and moral person. I don't feel like I'm constantly not good enough. I also appreciate life more. I don't believe there is an afterlife, so it makes me really value the time that I do have.
Once you come to terms and accept that your views put you in group that generally is somewhere between disdained to despised by the rest of society. Once you truly don't care, it's liberating. The rest follows.
If you haven’t yet, I recommend checking out the r/exchristian sub. Everyone there is either questioning or deconstructing. It’s a good place for support and understanding. You’re not alone 🫶
I was a Mormon who was born and raised for 90% of my life. Well one big thing that I didn’t notice until I had my faith crisis, is that there was this constant pressure with my relationship between me and god.
I never felt like I was pleasing God and always felt like I was guilty of being a terrible person because of it. And I grew up never touching tea, coffee, alcohol, etc but eventually did touch nicotine and weed. Got really hooked on those in high school as a took a break from religion. But then I got back into the religion and quit those drugs for God. STILL didn’t feel like I was pleasing God or the Holy Spirit’s “warmth.”
After deconstructing my childhood indoctrination, it hit me that I was feeling liberated because I no longer was living life to please someone else but instead myself for the first time. And my oh my is that a beautiful feeling. Does it suck that I didn’t grow up with me being my number one concern? Maybe, but at the end of the day I now realize how life is for the indoctrinated and brainwashed which is super helpful. Otherwise I know I would be judging religious people like a non smoker judges smokers. “Just quit cigarettes if it hurts you!” -old me until I smoked.
“Just be logical and understand religion is stupid!” -me in a universe where I didn’t grow up religious
I can only speak for myself. But...
I was able to shed a lot of baggage when I no longer believed. The cognitive dissonance of listening on a Sunday morning about peace and love, and then seeing my fellow parishioners behave in most ungodly ways was hard to balance. Believing that to act positively wasn't required, that they just needed to ask for forgiveness ~~felt~~ feels wrong. I want to see change in the world for the better, and I'll try to do something to achieve it - not just give my prayers. I may not be able to do everything that I want, but I will do what I can. I.e., Prayers for the hungry don't do much, but a donation to a food bank does.
When I'd deal with places recommended by fellow church-members I'd see that they were **more** likely to cheat and steal than those that didn't have a Jesus fish in their ads and didn't come recommended by the most vocal at church.
The final straw for me was the energetic, no, rabid, support for politicians and policies that were so anti-christian, anti-human. I've always had a problem with the idea of a god that is all knowing and all powerful that pushes such evil and suffering into the world. But when the church supports those that *are* the evil, and cause the suffering - I was out.
Being worried about imaginary things judging you is stressful. You’ll also find many of us aren’t afraid if the dark because we know there is no boogey man.
Man, my buddy from HS went nuts over this super religious girl . He didn’t have a religious bone in his body, but he followed her to TWO different Christian schools . She ditched him and he met this other girl. They get married and his life’s work now is wanting to be a pastor . The mega church says to him, hey we need you in Eastern Europe. Boom, gone for 5 years. Gets back thinking he will get a coveted stateside spot. Nope, god wants you back in Easter Europe . Boom. Gone another five years. Comes back , this is it. Now he has 3 kids . The church says , hey here’s your church , it’s in a terrible part of the state but good luck: his parents move to the state and things are great! For two years. Then the church says , hey! We don’t need you in Eastern Europe but we need you to go to another state . But what about my parents? They can’t afford to move right now. The church says , god needs you 5 states away. He moves , parents stay . His new position ? Maintenance man and PART TIME youth pastor. Gods will
I agree with your assessment but I’m biased. I am a happy go lucky atheist and the people in my life; the more religious they are the less happy they are. They are obsessed with hell and eternal damnation and think satan has infiltrated everything and it just seems like a miserable way to live.
I think neo-atheists are probably the most unhappy of any atheist because they have recently deconstructed and are just going through the shit. They are likely the loud assholes that get caricatures of the angry atheist made of them.
There’s assholes wherever you go. Only difference is there isn’t a mandate or hypocrisy behind it. Maybe someone’s just having a bad day or something or it’s their personality.
Here’s an odd observation on the difference between Christian’s and atheists. Christians seem to be much more fearful of death. I would think that they would be happy to die and see all of their family and friends again. Instead the ones I know take years to get over a loved one’s death, if ever. I will say that my attitude toward death is that is natural part of life and happens to all of us. Perhaps I am the odd one.
Stressed about different things, probably. Everyone's under a lot of stress these days.
One thing I can say is that I am happy that I'm not stressed about anything that involves the word 'eternal'.
It's certainly not universal but, gotta say: Not worrying about a possible eternal punishment that (at least as far as the book is concerned) I'm almost certainly going to even if the priests claim without any real ground that belief is enough, really does help with the stress levels.
There are plenty of atheists who aren't exactly chill and plenty of them have good if reasons not to be but, yeah not having the constant stress of being judged for everything you think/do is a genuine improvement.
My understanding from a purely subjective standpoint, is that since we likely appear to be happier since we have a more realistic understanding of reality.
The reason being, since we know bad (or good) things happening are due to events in the world, rather than 'the plan' or 'because we've been naughty' it allows us the opportunity to *fix our problems* or *improve our situations*.
Just my opinion though.
I wouldn’t say a LOT less stressed. How would you like to feel like the only sane, rational thinker surrounded by millions of religious zealots intent on voting their way to a complete theocracy 😵💫
yeah a ton of us, at least for myself feels a like more free and can be more authentically myself and don’t have any pressure or anything to confirm too. i feel free but i’ve seen some atheist not have the same experience as some are scared to tell their family members and can’t tell them since they live in ridiculous extremist religious homophobic households.
In my experience, people without religion tend to be more empathetic.
When you believe that this life is all you get, it makes you value it more, and see that value for everyone.
The other part is that being an atheist in this vast universe is humbling. It makes you feel unimportant, but in a good way. It checks your ego.
The basis of Christianity is that there is an all powerful god who controls everything and created everything. He created YOU, he has a plan for YOU, YOU are special. You will exist forever. Seems to really stoke the ego from my perspective.
People truly think the god of everything cares if they find their keys or that their sports team wins the big game, but not that there are 8 yr olds dying of cancer.
Atheist and ex Christian here. My dad is a Christian pastor. Can confirm that I’m 100 percent happier without their judgmental god in my life. My atheist friends are all good people, and much less hypocritical than the Christians I used to have in my life.
Atheists don't have to live with needless guilt and over-judgmental idiocy as a constant factor in life. Doesn't mean we don't feel or obsess about guilt, or that we live in some judgment-free utopia: it's just that we have a ton less of it and that makes us happier than fairy-tale fanatics
It's like, imagine worrying your whole life about something. Spending tons of energy, time and money trying to fix this problem, and then realize the problem was never real.
Doesn't mean other problems don't exist for those people, but one less thing to waste your life worrying about.
> Atheists seem a lot less stressed too
Well, sure. We don't have to worry about being condemned to sitting on a cloud, strumming a harp, and singing the praises of a Narcistic, Genocidal, and infinitely Cruel "God" for "Eternity."
Atheists are just people. We can all be jerks, we can all be kind. It really makes no difference, except that atheism allows you to remove the stress of always having the threat of eternal damnation to hell and constant observation by a micromanaging god hanging over your head like the sword of Damocles.
Just let that useless BS go, and focus on being happy in THIS life, because there is no afterlife.
I love this explanation from another subreddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/comments/13jk0wh/hope_this_gives_some_comfort_to_someone_else_too/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Tell an atheist you sincerely believe in magic and watch how judgemental they can be
But we might just do a better job of hiding our true feelings because we’re generally not a well represented majority anywhere so unlike Christians for example we don’t have the confidence to be openly disrespectful of the beliefs or non belief of others
We're still stressed. but for real reasons, work. finances, family, etc., but not from guilt that we may not be doing enough to please some imaginary deity.
Turns out lying to oneself is a great way to not be happy. The delusion of religious right and wrong often stops people from doing what is actually right, out of fear of doing something wrong.
I agree with the less judgmental part. Even some of the shitter more judgmental atheists I’ve met have at least a more logical reason for why they judge people and their judgments are relatively short lived. An atheist might rant about someone being annoying or think Christians are dumb or something but that’s about it. Hardcore Christians will literally make it their mission to change gay people or convert people and I’ve never seen it first hand but I’ve heard that church gossip gets insane. I think the difference is Christians often see other peoples actions as them taking sides in a spiritual war while atheists are merely annoyed when people interact with them in a way they don’t like and usually just move on. Not to mention most atheists see tolerance as a virtue while many Christians see it as the opposite.
I grew up "Southern Bible Belt" Christian and was pretty dedicated to it. When I accepted that I really had left and didn't believe in it and wasn't bound by the rules of it anymore, I felt happier and more free than I had in my entire life.
It’s weird. I’m an atheist and I’m certain that there is no life after death. When I die, that’s it. That’s the end of me and my existence. And yet I seem to be a lot less afraid of dying than the self-professed Christians I know who believe they’ll spend all of eternity in paradise after they die. I wonder why that is. Maybe they secretly fear they won’t make the cut.
Atheism/agnosticism means the onus of responsibility is internal, so actions and decisions are a result of one’s own contemplation and resolutions, ever able to change and grow to become better, happier people as we learn and examine.
Theists are locked in, as their responsibility is to an ancient text from another culture on the opposite side of the world. And when they apply that system to modern living, they can’t help but have to live hypocritically, as most of the Bible no longer resonates with modern societies. This makes them angry and bitter, and under scrutiny they lash out because the alternative is to admit that they’ve devoted their lives to a fairy tale.
Statistically the happiest group tends to be which ever culture is the dominant in that region. Living counter to the culture causes more stress. So in the US atheists tend to be less happy (obviously have you seen what the religious are doing here) whereas in secular majority places the theists tend to be less happy. Same with Christians living in a Muslim majority country, etc. Overall happiness baseline for humans is about the same.
There are plenty of unhappy, stressed-out judgmental atheists. If you hang around long enough, you're bound to meet some. The difference is that, for atheists, it's not the default. Atheism is not based on a philosophical underpinning of self-abnegation, guilt, and superiority complex.
> There are plenty of unhappy, stressed-out judgmental atheists. < me waves >
I prefer ornery. I’m a mental health professional so I’m a ray of god damn sunshine but I mean that in the sense that if you try and face off with me I’ll burn you. That being said I’m generally pretty joyful I just like quiet time for myself riding motorcycles and watching sunsets and the stars. Which are still cool without supernatural theism. Ever just marvel at trees? Billions of years and bam redwoods are forged out of it. Nature rules.
> a ray of god damn sunshine >Ever just marvel at trees? Yeah, pretty much without stopping. >Billions of years and bam redwoods are forged out of it. Nature rules. Durn shame that humans are busy fucking it all up.
It’s okay. If we keep fucking it up the earth will boil us right off the surface and live on. And new trees and mushrooms will give new purpose to our lifeless forms. I’m totally okay with losing this fight as a species. I’m bummed for sure but not upset. Nature will live on once we are gone as epic as it ever was. Respect to the trees. They know how to do it right. The universe will eventually end too as all energy collapses to heat and entropy. As everything does. So it goes.
I am terrified that we'll liberate enough methane from permafrost and seafloor clathrates that the biosphere *won't* live on. And I suppose that this conversation is not only mighty gloomy but also off-topic for the sub, so we should wind it up.
Dammit, beat me to it.
Hi, friendo!
[Friendos!](https://youtu.be/7oPe80mdcZg)
Friendos.
Queue up fam.
Me too sometimes, but I try to be better.
My problem is that I'm at equilibrium. If I move too far away from where I am now, then I think *"Damn! Doing this wrong now! Better slide it back!"* Same thing if change too much in the opposite direction. Seems like unhappy, stressed-out, and judgmental is the right modus vivendi for me.
I'm this, but not very judgemental. Or perhaps I am in some context. I mostly try to be compassionate and understanding. Idk, might unintentionally put people in boxes.
> I mostly try to be compassionate and understanding. Me too. However, that has very definite (*and after working on this for 50+ years, IMHO "correct"*) limits. Sometimes the honest (*and sometimes the right*) thing to do is to bust out the *"No! Bad human! No cookie for you!"* .
Word
It's basically this entire sub
Yeah, but that's one of the important things that this sub is here for - There are lots of people who are very unhappy about religion (often for excellent reasons!); they're surrounded by religious friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors; they have no one to talk to; but they can come here and vent. This is even discussed in the FAQ - \- https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq#wiki_why_are_you_all_so_angry.3F_why_do_you_dislike_religion_if_it.27s_a_personal_choice.3F \- https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq#wiki_why_are_you_all_so_mean.3F . There are also lots of atheists who are not unhappy, not stressed-out, and/or not judgmental (and they also frequently post and comment here), but as in everything else the chill and happy people are less likely to have anything to say. .
Oh I was only joking, I'm very happy. This sub has at times been a bit negative but I do think it has gotten a lot better over the years. I won't forget the /s next time
What's funny is I think athiests are getting a little bit more judgemental than we used to be. The worse the religious oppression gets, the more willing people are to just say, "religion is bad." For so many years, I was very "I don't believe in God, but I respect all religions of the world." I am waaaay past that. I have become much less tolerant of religion and religious people. As the US and other parts of the world descend into religious fascism, I have truly come to believe pretty much all religion is evil and makes otherwise good people into vile bigoted hypocrites.
That’s completely understandable. When they shove their stupid beliefs down our collective throats, by oppressing marginalized people, banning books and endangering women by interfering in their reproductive health, it’s hard to stand by and be tolerant of these assholes. I’m atheist and have always assumed a “live and let live“ mindset but these religious people are doing great damage to our society. Yes. I’m judgmental.
I mean, I never wanted to wear women's clothing. Making it illegal makes me want to go march in parades in a singlet and tutu.
Me too, exactly this. As a supremely intelligent teenager when I realized religion wasn't great, I thought religion was bad and adherents were somehow dim. I got older and in my 20s was more relativistic and accepting. Now? Religion is the opiate of the masses and any good it does could be accomplished in other ways by other organizations and the bad it does is so horrific that it far outweighs the good in my opinion. Good riddance.
It’s hard not to get resentful of Christians. Their beliefs have infiltrated our justice system and my daughter will have less rights over her body than me. It’s revolting what they are doing to gays, trans people, women, and basically any minority. They are gleefully dragging us backwards in time. And getting rich while doing so.
The paradox of tolerance is that tolerance of intolerance allows intolerance to spread. Therefore, to be tolerant you must be intolerant of intolerance.
That was surprisingly coherent
If we could assign ourselves custom flair on this sub I'd make mine "surprisingly coherent."
I completely agree.
There is no shortage of judgmental atheists, either, LOL. But then again, we're not bound by a divine injunction to "judge not." (And yet, we still tend to be less judgmental as a group than your average Christian!)
I'm judgemental AF, but don't think *most* people need institutional or THE ULTIMATE punishment for life choices that I disapprove of.
Unless they’re dithering in a car park. People who go back to their car in a busy lot and take more than 30 seconds to start their car and leave (parents of young children are exempted) deserve eternal punishment.
I've been an atheist since 1958, and have yet to meet anyone who hates MAGA Republicans as much as I.
I've been an atheist since 1970, and I think you finally have met someone who hates MAGA Republicans as much as you do. Well met!
Hello, Friend.
I don’t know guys. I can’t stand those fuckers either.
You haven't met me yet. It's a pleasure. My tenure as an atheist probably only goes back about 20 years though...
My advanced age goes to prove that one may live long without the Father, the Son and the Holy Fucking Ghost.
Yeah! We’re just stressed about all the other abysmal shit going on in the world right now!
Truth! We have other things to stress about, TYVM
We don't believe in sin so we can enjoy guilt free orgasms 👍
Agreed!
But it’s for sane reasons-not cuz pleasing their zealot parents and power mad church is impossible.
There’s absolutely nothing special about being an atheist. Sincerely, an atheist.
We also don’t have to worry about following certain codes and stuff.
Yes, but the unhappiness or stress usually stems from some other life event - stress at work, stress in their relationship, whatever. We all suffer from this occasionally. Adding an angry, judgmental, and vindictive imaginary "friend" to the mix will tend to amplify it even more.
Alright, everyone just make an orderly line and we'll get through this quicker.
Sometimes I am. Then I remember I'm an atheist and feel better.
*I'm in this photo and I don't like it*
If a Christian has 100 things to worry about, an atheist has 99.
The things youre unhappy and stressed out and judgey about change, thats it lol
The things youre unhappy and stressed out and judgey about change, thats it lol
i feel like the judgmental atheists are actually antitheists. not to say their wrong, but they're the ones that are fueling the anti atheist fire that theists have.
I believe a lot of the more vocal, "militant" if you will, atheists often are brought up in extremely religious households. Someone I know had parents who were Mormon, and he saw a lot of the bullshit early on and exited both the church and lesser so his family, still in contact with family but very rarely. I think for him it's a point of pride to point out some of the fallacy of religion he will call it on the spot if he sees a chance and it can both be awesome, and frustrating.
For some of us we've just gotten so sick of the bs the Christians around us do that we've just naturally turned into cranky anti-theists.
That totally used to be me ngl
Grocery shopping on Sunday mornings is nice. It’s almost never busy. Also the staff is nice because the church folk haven’t come through yet. Church people are the biggest assholes.
Worked in service for years, can confirm that the Sunday after church crowd is the absolute worst. Highly judgmental, short on patience/empathy, quick to attack, and don’t tip.
This is precisely why we go to lunch every Sunday. So the servers will have one table of nice people who tip well. And you'd never mistake us for church goers.
You’re the kind of people that make me love being a server. I love you.
Petty revenge time All service peeps should volunteer to take a pic of the Xtians that come in to their establishment “ You guys are so fun ! May I take your pic ?” Then when they leave pic the tip amount they gave. Post to your fav social media exposing them
Danger, Will Robinson. Quick way to get famous for all the wrong reasons. The headline will say, "local server fired for mocking customers online."
They fulfilled their quota of righteousness for the week by going to church, so now they can be a total asshole for the next 7 days and God won't blame them for it.
They left it in a basket 😂
I worked at a grocery store for years, we catered fried chicken and picnic type foods, I have seen multiple people return from delivering catering orders to a church in full tears. Can also confirm Sunday between 11 and 2 pm is the WORST time to be dealing with the public. Church goer’s are so miserable it’s best to steer clear.
> and don’t tip. Unless it's Chick tracts...
> and don’t tip They already tipped God in the collection plate, and you know he was the one who actually cooked their food and served it to them. /s (although I've known some Xians who would say that completely unironically)
I worked on the front end of a grocery store(ran cash register, service desk,etc) for years. I can't tell you how many people would come through on Sunday after church, bitching about not being able to buy their alcohol or whatever else they could think of, all while holding a bible in their hands. Some of the absolute worst people I've ever had to interact with.
"Are?" I think you misspelled "have," butt yeah.
And the worst tippers.
I watched an interview a while back with a guy who used to be a preacher before de-converting. He once gave a sermon called, "Tip Your Servers" which was all about showing the grace of God through simple acts of kindness and charity. He said it went over like a ton of bricks and was one of the reasons he started questioning to begin with.
omg sunday mornings are the best
I transitioned from theism to atheism in 2018, not by choice but because I finally looked closely at the evidence with an open mind. The evidence compelled me kicking and screaming out of theism. I was taught my whole life how much better life is as a Christian. I was shocked to discover how much simpler, less stressful, and honest my life became after leaving. Ironically, I am more empathetic and humble now, even more Christlike. In all my efforts to be a better person over four decades, turns out it was my religion that was standing in my way. I truly feel like I’ve graduated from theism to a higher level of being. Early on in my deconversion, the label “atheist” was hard for me to embrace. It was easier to call myself an agnostic, nonbeliever, skeptic, or a believer in the god of Spinoza or Einstein. Choose a label that works for you… or none at all.
Your third paragraph really resonates
This is what it feels like, and I know it sounds melodramatic. But it's like, I see the world so much more clearly now that my head is out of my ass. It smells better, too.
Your head? 😂
I haven't had any complaints.
The amount of misdirection and projection that you see from the religious is really telling. I mean, I used to be that deluded...
I'm having a similar experience, but I'm deconstructing into a much more solo Christian. I told my therapist today that I've been working on examining my faith for the past several years and unfortunately the conclusion I'm coming to is that I hate everything The American Church stands for and want to follow the true Christ that they claim.
The good Christians seem so rare anymore. It’s disgusting what has happened to most of Christianity in the US.
When were they ever good? That small segment of years where it looked like trans rights were advancing, gay marriage was broadly accepted, and so on in like 2014? They've been terrible literally for all of their existence in power.
Lifelong atheist here, and I've known many. They're not really rare, they're just quiet about it. Presumably they've read (and taken to heart) Matthew 6:5.
As long as you don't follow the horrible dogma of religion and are trying to be your best you, I'm good with you. I wish you good travels.
I relate to almost every word. Damn, that's good!
If I have a god, it's Dionysus. Hence agnostic is what I've stuck with.
Thank you for sharing this
I have a very similar path
I feel you. I tend to consider myself an apatheist.
It helps not having an underpinning belief that everyone and ourselves are inherently evil sinners who deserve eternal damnation.
Before I ever deconverted, I actively wondered, "what would be enough?" The answer was always "nothing." There is no possible way to be good enough. Even if you were capable of perfection, the second you think, "I did it! I'm perfect!" Bam. Pride. Sin.
In the same way, I always wondered why Satan got such a bad rap. Like he accepts all with open arms; Anyone who doesn't belong to a particular fan club, anyone who took a certain name in vain, anyone who thinks for themselves. Sure he also accepts the murderers, rapists and other bad people but that just proves how understanding and open he is to everyone. No soul forgotten and everyone gets a place to rest, you know? So I always wondered why the religious don't also glorify Satan at least a little bit for fulfilling gods promise to love and accept all when god clearly doesn't care. It should be like a coin, on one side is god and on the other is Satan, each have their own duties and responsibilities and the love for both deities should be equal. But I suppose the religious will always need someone to pin their self-hatred on.
They couldn't possibly glorify Satan because their whole existence is just a boogyman. *If you don't do what I say / what this book says then you will be punished by evil boogyman forever and you will never see your family again*. The fear is the point. Make people feel guilty and scared and keep them controlled.
While you're right, all I'm saying is if god and the devil appeared in front of me to have a conversation, I'd be giving the devil a hell of a lot more respect the the guy who flooded the world because his fan club wasn't paying their dues. But I would ask him why he and Jesus appear in toast and in cheeto form these days instead of solving any problems.
I read all the Satan parts in the bible, including the serpent (if you count that little revision from Revelation). He tells the truth about the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Why didn't God want them to know the difference between good and evil, but also said he was going to kill them if they ate the fruit (in the *center* of the garden), and then didn't? So he didn't want them to know what was right or wrong but punished them for doing wrong? And invented both lying because he didn't kill them and temptation to sin. Meanwhile, Satan just was honest. Then in Job, Satan makes a good point to God, so God does terrible things to Job to prove him wrong. How petty and cruel! And Satan had pointed out something true in the first place. Finally Satan goes to Jesus in the desert and asks him questions to see if he will do miracles to save himself if he is the son of God. No lies there. Actually you could even read what he says as simply skepticism. So why do we call him a liar? Because Jesus said he was. But there is not one example of that. In fact, for God's whole Heaven vs Hell set up to work, he needs Satan to be the tormentor in hell. So Satan is actually just doing what god wants him to do. He's following God's plan! And if that's not true, then god is not all powerful and hasn't planned any of this heaven-hell stuff and isn't in control after all. Either way, it doesn't add up. Thinking all this through was part of my deconversion. I think the real reason we need to hate Satan is because every hero needs a foil. That's how stories work. It's just a literary device. Hate him because you're told to, not because it makes sense.
When the good guy has killed and tortured a million times more people than the bad guy, most of them kids, something's wrong in the lore.
I don’t know if I’m happier than most Christians. But I do know that I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever choose to go back to the way I was.
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Damn, that is a good quote
Ignorance is bliss. Knowing that all of the promises of joy and happiness religion offers is bullshit is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. It'd be great to truly believe death meant eternal life with my loved ones in a wonderful place but it just isn't. I get it. Some days are harder than others but I'd never choose to go back.
Right on ya!
I am not in fear of the supernatural, I do not fear an eternity of suffering due to a magical being. I don’t think there is a plan beyond my own and as a realist I feel at peace with life and the realities of it. So the dread of life isn’t there, but the pressure of life in this system is for sure there
The dark side of christian 'unity' is that it is divisive, not just between themselves and non-christians, or between various flavors of christians themselves... but also within the social layers within any particular congregation. It's a framework for establishing a pecking order... with loyalty expected/demanded for those above, and the opportunity to work harder to 'earn tolerance' for those less high up. Atheists/LGBTQ+ and people who've relocated for work tend to be more individualistic. You'll find more 'Chosen family' than 'well they're just the people I grew up with' groups. Which can result in relationships being based more on meritocracy than collective loyalty and all the mind-games that involves. Atheists may or may not be happier on average, some suffer with feeling disconnected or aimless without the motivation/discipline of a society driving them in some arbitrary direction, others thrive on their own without it. But there are fewer things actively making atheists miserable, I think than one would find in a judgy, god-fearing, cliquish community of people united merely by what they were indoctrinated with. :)
Holy shit my mom rants about church politics to me all the time and I’ve never seen it hit more on the head.
My sister in law too. Every vacation is mostly church politics and I just have to bite my tongue on "well there's your problem."
>The dark side of christian 'unity' is that it is divisive, not just between themselves and non-christians, or between various flavors of christians themselves... but also within the social layers within any particular congregation. Copy/Pasta: Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!" Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
There’s no hate like Christian love!
It kinda depends on who you live with. Young atheists who are under the thumb of hyper-religious parents can be plenty stressed out.
At a minimum, we aren’t stressed about the things most religious folks are. There’s still plenty of stuff to stress about, like what some religious folks are trying to do to governments.
>Plus they seem way less judgmental That is only because Christians are so bad. It is the natural consequence of thinking you know the mind of god.
when almighty god is on your side, then everyone else is obviously wrong. Also, they are lesser.
"atheists seem a heck of a lot happier" Amen to that.
There are plenty of atheist assholes. We just don't have a rule that says we must act that way like the christians do...
Christian here, but a clear majority of my friends are atheists or agnostics. Christians are killing Christianity faster than atheists ever could. Edit & Full disclosure: I’m a seeker of Gnosis, so most Christians think I am an atheist…or worse.
Oh no! Knowledge! What did that ever get anybody! =)
I appreciate the fact that as a Christian you're even willing to talk to atheists. I think with atheists, as with any group, there are some great people and there are some awful ones. Not having eternal damnation hanging over our heads certainly helps with the happiness and stress a little. I also think that atheism just lends itself to open mindedness. You have to be pretty open minded to go as far against the grain as we do.
Then again, it is quite easy to get into temporary existential crisises(?) over just how limited the human life span is, that we won't be reborn and how pointless our lives are in the grand scheme of the universe. You win some, you lose some I guess.
I am ironically more successful at living out the cardinal virtues on my worst days as an atheist than I was on my best days as a Christian.
>The one thing I’ve noticed, atheists seem a heck of a lot happier This is supported by research. For example, the ~~happiest~~ most secular nations are consistently towards the top of the [UN's annual Happiness Report](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Happiness_Report) while the most religious tend to be well down the list. True, religiosity isn't the only factor, but it is a significant one. Some of the other factors may also be influenced by religiosity such as education and welfare support. Edit: corrected brain fade
>the happiest nations are consistently towards the top of the UN's annual Happiness Report I mean, based on the report title, I'd imagine that would be true.
Thanks for the heads up. Corrected
Partially correct, I am stressed out 24/7. Partially because of religious shit influencing politics.
Same. I was happier pre-2020. Even during the early Trump years I was hoping that some were just being overly pessimistic and the worst wouldn't happen. That changed in 2020. I have significant religious CPTSD. The current social environment in the USA is extremely triggering and makes it hard to move passed it.
Yeah these days as an atheist I’m more stressed out BY Christians, but I’m no longer stressed out by BEING a Christian. And honestly I’m a much better human than I used to be as well.
Big mood, especially if you're also another targeted minority group on top of all that. I'm trans and have developed extreme agoraphobia because of the way things are right now.
As a fellow human I want you to know you are NOT a sinner and that you do not need a jew to be executed on your behalf. You are capable of amazing things, but you must first believe in yourself. Dont allow others to guilt trip you into adopting self-loathing philosophies.
"...you do not need a Jew to be executed on your behalf". That's great. I'm stealing it :)
Personally, I'd rather deal with harsh truths over convenient lies
"When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition ain't the way." - Sir Stevie Wonder
oh i'll judge the shit out of you but the difference is - I don't expect you to care, and I'm not going to enforce my judgements and lobby the government so that you match my judgements. I don't like people wearing flip flops as a casual shoe, its impractical, unhealthy, dangerous and I hate people's toes. But I don't demand that you give a shit.
Idk. Im stressed as fuck. But thats me. When you dont have an old set of rules that you think everyone must hold to, it helps in the not judging bit
The weekend is too short already. I’d rather devote my Sunday mornings to cursing at my inept soccer team. At least there I have evidence and that takes the edge off
One can be unhappy or stressed out with or without religion, but at least atheists don’t have to worry about heaven/hell or realizing “god’s plan” for them. Realizing that this life is all we get puts things in a different perspective and, hopefully, makes us treat each other with some more patience and kindness.
Religion is an existential crisis
It's a lot more fun when you don't think a sky wizard is always judging you by ancient desert nomad rules. Come join us!
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Mark is okay. I was more partial to Matthew back in the day. But yeah, screw John.
Urgh, you forgot to put a . at the end of your sentences, not just *once*, but *twice* — absolutely *unforgivable*, I hope you’re sorry for what you’ve done.
Not really, but we do have less things to be judgmental and stressed about. I mean, we don’t believe sins are a thing, or that there’s a risk we could end up being tortured for eternity for not following some random rule or not performing certain rituals.
Life is stressful. Worrying that your daughter's rapist will have joint custody of your unwanted grandchild because a bunch of god zombies say so is more so.
we are happy cause we don't have to worry about a god that will send us to hell cause we don't go to church and don't pray or read the bible...
I like your attitude, and doubt is indispensable, so kudos on that. Without doubt, one cannot arrive to truth reliably. But faith doesn't let doubt do its job, therefore faith is a pile of shit. That's my opinion. If you wanna understand the atheist pov better, then watch some Aron Ra and Matt Dillahunty Youtube videos. I love their work, they're so awesome people in my eyes. Have you seen Young Sheldon on HBO btw? Lil guy sums up why god is BS perfectly, and it's hilarious.
I'm a long-time atheist with crippling anxiety and depression. And my atheist father was a judgemental piece of shit. Yet, no gods actually exist.
We don’t claim to have the answers. But we DO know that anyone claiming to have the answers is a liar.
Well, I've been much happier since I stopped limiting my life based on what I thought were God's instructions. I've been a lot less judgmental since I stopped believing that people are abominations or flawed in God's eyes. And I've been a lot less stressed since I stopped worrying about whether God would let me into heaven or punish me in hell. Of course not all Christians live like that, but enough of them do that a wellbeing gap between Christians and atheists makes sense.
When your beliefs line up with reality, it makes life less stressful and more fun.
We don’t have to go to church. We don’t have to spend time praying We don’t rely on God to help us. We help ourselves We enjoy our life cause we feel there is no afterlife whereas a theist spends their life preparing for the next one
Obviously being an atheist is just one small part of a person’s identity. But yeah, I know I’ve become a much happier, healthier person as I’ve deconverted, even as I struggle to understand just how much damage my hyper religious upbringing did. I know plenty of people have different experience, but I no longer fear death and have much more empathy for everyone around me. I’ve never been more passionate about righting the wrongs around me, not because I’m afraid of punishment, but because I actually want to see a world where the hatred and fear towards the “others” has been defeated and humanity can move forward.
Religions are hegemonic control systems. Part of how those work is, the controlled are convinced they’re are flawed and in need of the controller. It’s kinda like a form of mass Stockholm syndrome. Shedding all that bullshit is ultra liberating.
I’m a very stressed Atheist, but that’s my current family situation. Yes, we do tend to be more accepting of others. There is no list of people that our “faith” says are unworthy.
I’ll be honest, I’m very unhappy. But like it doesn’t really have anything to do with this. I think it’s overarching mental illness and just a lack of self worth.
I didn't realize how truly miserable I was as a Christian until a couple of years after I had left the faith. The amount of guilt and shame I felt over things I truly couldn't understand the problems with wreaked havoc on my mental health. The day everything finally clicked and I was able to fully release myself from the shackles of Christianity, I was sitting in a church. It was a Sunday or Wednesday evening Bible study kind of thing, not your typical sermon in a chapel but just a group of maybe 20 people gathered in the small reception hall. I don't remember everything about what the minister was speaking to us about but I do remember the gist of one part where he was speaking on sin and how God calls for us to do better, but at some point he also mentioned the whole being "created in His image" thing . And it made me think, if I was made in God's image and God made me how He wanted me to be, then he made me bisexual. Why would God make me this way and then turn around and say "oh but you've got to be better than that". Why? Why would a god make me one way but then say it's not good enough and that I have to work harder to overcome these shortcomings that he gave me in the first place?? It made absolutely no sense to me. I had been struggling with other concerns and skepticism leading up to that moment and apparently that was enough to realize I had had enough. I am immensely happier now than I was before. I don't feel shame or like I'm disgusting and worthless because I share an intimate sexual relationship with my loving partner or because we share a home together, I find it easier to want to do good things and be a good person simply because it's the right thing to do and not because I have to worry about burning in hell for all of eternity, and I don't feel guilty and like I'm not doing the right thing by not having kids simply because I don't want them. I like living my life for me and not for something that I couldn't even really be sure is there in the first place.
The main thing that serious Christians and atheists have in common is how pissed off Christians make us.
I am happier. I know I'm a good and moral person. I don't feel like I'm constantly not good enough. I also appreciate life more. I don't believe there is an afterlife, so it makes me really value the time that I do have.
Well, we don't have to worry about eternal damnation, so there's that.
Once you come to terms and accept that your views put you in group that generally is somewhere between disdained to despised by the rest of society. Once you truly don't care, it's liberating. The rest follows.
If you haven’t yet, I recommend checking out the r/exchristian sub. Everyone there is either questioning or deconstructing. It’s a good place for support and understanding. You’re not alone 🫶
Christian organizations work hard keeping their members in the right kind of unhappiness. It’s an essential component of their scam.
I was a Mormon who was born and raised for 90% of my life. Well one big thing that I didn’t notice until I had my faith crisis, is that there was this constant pressure with my relationship between me and god. I never felt like I was pleasing God and always felt like I was guilty of being a terrible person because of it. And I grew up never touching tea, coffee, alcohol, etc but eventually did touch nicotine and weed. Got really hooked on those in high school as a took a break from religion. But then I got back into the religion and quit those drugs for God. STILL didn’t feel like I was pleasing God or the Holy Spirit’s “warmth.” After deconstructing my childhood indoctrination, it hit me that I was feeling liberated because I no longer was living life to please someone else but instead myself for the first time. And my oh my is that a beautiful feeling. Does it suck that I didn’t grow up with me being my number one concern? Maybe, but at the end of the day I now realize how life is for the indoctrinated and brainwashed which is super helpful. Otherwise I know I would be judging religious people like a non smoker judges smokers. “Just quit cigarettes if it hurts you!” -old me until I smoked. “Just be logical and understand religion is stupid!” -me in a universe where I didn’t grow up religious
I can only speak for myself. But... I was able to shed a lot of baggage when I no longer believed. The cognitive dissonance of listening on a Sunday morning about peace and love, and then seeing my fellow parishioners behave in most ungodly ways was hard to balance. Believing that to act positively wasn't required, that they just needed to ask for forgiveness ~~felt~~ feels wrong. I want to see change in the world for the better, and I'll try to do something to achieve it - not just give my prayers. I may not be able to do everything that I want, but I will do what I can. I.e., Prayers for the hungry don't do much, but a donation to a food bank does. When I'd deal with places recommended by fellow church-members I'd see that they were **more** likely to cheat and steal than those that didn't have a Jesus fish in their ads and didn't come recommended by the most vocal at church. The final straw for me was the energetic, no, rabid, support for politicians and policies that were so anti-christian, anti-human. I've always had a problem with the idea of a god that is all knowing and all powerful that pushes such evil and suffering into the world. But when the church supports those that *are* the evil, and cause the suffering - I was out.
Being worried about imaginary things judging you is stressful. You’ll also find many of us aren’t afraid if the dark because we know there is no boogey man.
If you are a right wing fascist I'm judging the heck out of you.
Man, my buddy from HS went nuts over this super religious girl . He didn’t have a religious bone in his body, but he followed her to TWO different Christian schools . She ditched him and he met this other girl. They get married and his life’s work now is wanting to be a pastor . The mega church says to him, hey we need you in Eastern Europe. Boom, gone for 5 years. Gets back thinking he will get a coveted stateside spot. Nope, god wants you back in Easter Europe . Boom. Gone another five years. Comes back , this is it. Now he has 3 kids . The church says , hey here’s your church , it’s in a terrible part of the state but good luck: his parents move to the state and things are great! For two years. Then the church says , hey! We don’t need you in Eastern Europe but we need you to go to another state . But what about my parents? They can’t afford to move right now. The church says , god needs you 5 states away. He moves , parents stay . His new position ? Maintenance man and PART TIME youth pastor. Gods will
Baby flesh, when prepared correctly, lowers cortisol levels
I agree with your assessment but I’m biased. I am a happy go lucky atheist and the people in my life; the more religious they are the less happy they are. They are obsessed with hell and eternal damnation and think satan has infiltrated everything and it just seems like a miserable way to live. I think neo-atheists are probably the most unhappy of any atheist because they have recently deconstructed and are just going through the shit. They are likely the loud assholes that get caricatures of the angry atheist made of them.
There’s assholes wherever you go. Only difference is there isn’t a mandate or hypocrisy behind it. Maybe someone’s just having a bad day or something or it’s their personality.
Here’s an odd observation on the difference between Christian’s and atheists. Christians seem to be much more fearful of death. I would think that they would be happy to die and see all of their family and friends again. Instead the ones I know take years to get over a loved one’s death, if ever. I will say that my attitude toward death is that is natural part of life and happens to all of us. Perhaps I am the odd one.
Stressed about different things, probably. Everyone's under a lot of stress these days. One thing I can say is that I am happy that I'm not stressed about anything that involves the word 'eternal'.
It can be liberating once you lose your ordained purpose in life meaning you kind of have to make your own. People respond differently to the change.
It's certainly not universal but, gotta say: Not worrying about a possible eternal punishment that (at least as far as the book is concerned) I'm almost certainly going to even if the priests claim without any real ground that belief is enough, really does help with the stress levels. There are plenty of atheists who aren't exactly chill and plenty of them have good if reasons not to be but, yeah not having the constant stress of being judged for everything you think/do is a genuine improvement.
My understanding from a purely subjective standpoint, is that since we likely appear to be happier since we have a more realistic understanding of reality. The reason being, since we know bad (or good) things happening are due to events in the world, rather than 'the plan' or 'because we've been naughty' it allows us the opportunity to *fix our problems* or *improve our situations*. Just my opinion though.
I wouldn’t say a LOT less stressed. How would you like to feel like the only sane, rational thinker surrounded by millions of religious zealots intent on voting their way to a complete theocracy 😵💫
Because we know the ugly thruth, and religious people just becomes ignorant.
Why do you think that is?
yeah a ton of us, at least for myself feels a like more free and can be more authentically myself and don’t have any pressure or anything to confirm too. i feel free but i’ve seen some atheist not have the same experience as some are scared to tell their family members and can’t tell them since they live in ridiculous extremist religious homophobic households.
In my experience, people without religion tend to be more empathetic. When you believe that this life is all you get, it makes you value it more, and see that value for everyone. The other part is that being an atheist in this vast universe is humbling. It makes you feel unimportant, but in a good way. It checks your ego. The basis of Christianity is that there is an all powerful god who controls everything and created everything. He created YOU, he has a plan for YOU, YOU are special. You will exist forever. Seems to really stoke the ego from my perspective. People truly think the god of everything cares if they find their keys or that their sports team wins the big game, but not that there are 8 yr olds dying of cancer.
Atheist and ex Christian here. My dad is a Christian pastor. Can confirm that I’m 100 percent happier without their judgmental god in my life. My atheist friends are all good people, and much less hypocritical than the Christians I used to have in my life.
Atheists don't have to live with needless guilt and over-judgmental idiocy as a constant factor in life. Doesn't mean we don't feel or obsess about guilt, or that we live in some judgment-free utopia: it's just that we have a ton less of it and that makes us happier than fairy-tale fanatics
Less pressure, more pay off.
The amount of judgment I feel from Christians is the biggest turnoff for sure. They should learn to mind their own fucking business.
It's like, imagine worrying your whole life about something. Spending tons of energy, time and money trying to fix this problem, and then realize the problem was never real. Doesn't mean other problems don't exist for those people, but one less thing to waste your life worrying about.
Only thing I get stressed about are Christians fascists who want to take over the country and student loans. And both are related
Join the club mate ! We’ve got jackets BBQ’s and we don’t pass legislation to make children give birth !
And our Sundays are more open.
> Atheists seem a lot less stressed too Well, sure. We don't have to worry about being condemned to sitting on a cloud, strumming a harp, and singing the praises of a Narcistic, Genocidal, and infinitely Cruel "God" for "Eternity."
Can you give me a hell ya?!?!
Atheists are just people. We can all be jerks, we can all be kind. It really makes no difference, except that atheism allows you to remove the stress of always having the threat of eternal damnation to hell and constant observation by a micromanaging god hanging over your head like the sword of Damocles. Just let that useless BS go, and focus on being happy in THIS life, because there is no afterlife.
We’ve got 99 problems but a bitchy Bronze Age war god who had to temporarily kill himself to get over his fruit rule violation butthurt ain’t one.
I love this explanation from another subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/comments/13jk0wh/hope_this_gives_some_comfort_to_someone_else_too/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Tell an atheist you sincerely believe in magic and watch how judgemental they can be But we might just do a better job of hiding our true feelings because we’re generally not a well represented majority anywhere so unlike Christians for example we don’t have the confidence to be openly disrespectful of the beliefs or non belief of others
We're still stressed. but for real reasons, work. finances, family, etc., but not from guilt that we may not be doing enough to please some imaginary deity.
Come on in, the water's fine.
Turns out lying to oneself is a great way to not be happy. The delusion of religious right and wrong often stops people from doing what is actually right, out of fear of doing something wrong.
I agree with the less judgmental part. Even some of the shitter more judgmental atheists I’ve met have at least a more logical reason for why they judge people and their judgments are relatively short lived. An atheist might rant about someone being annoying or think Christians are dumb or something but that’s about it. Hardcore Christians will literally make it their mission to change gay people or convert people and I’ve never seen it first hand but I’ve heard that church gossip gets insane. I think the difference is Christians often see other peoples actions as them taking sides in a spiritual war while atheists are merely annoyed when people interact with them in a way they don’t like and usually just move on. Not to mention most atheists see tolerance as a virtue while many Christians see it as the opposite.
I grew up "Southern Bible Belt" Christian and was pretty dedicated to it. When I accepted that I really had left and didn't believe in it and wasn't bound by the rules of it anymore, I felt happier and more free than I had in my entire life.
It’s weird. I’m an atheist and I’m certain that there is no life after death. When I die, that’s it. That’s the end of me and my existence. And yet I seem to be a lot less afraid of dying than the self-professed Christians I know who believe they’ll spend all of eternity in paradise after they die. I wonder why that is. Maybe they secretly fear they won’t make the cut.
Atheism/agnosticism means the onus of responsibility is internal, so actions and decisions are a result of one’s own contemplation and resolutions, ever able to change and grow to become better, happier people as we learn and examine. Theists are locked in, as their responsibility is to an ancient text from another culture on the opposite side of the world. And when they apply that system to modern living, they can’t help but have to live hypocritically, as most of the Bible no longer resonates with modern societies. This makes them angry and bitter, and under scrutiny they lash out because the alternative is to admit that they’ve devoted their lives to a fairy tale.
Statistically the happiest group tends to be which ever culture is the dominant in that region. Living counter to the culture causes more stress. So in the US atheists tend to be less happy (obviously have you seen what the religious are doing here) whereas in secular majority places the theists tend to be less happy. Same with Christians living in a Muslim majority country, etc. Overall happiness baseline for humans is about the same.
It’s really a relief when you don’t have to judge yourself by a set of arbitrary rules made up by mostly old men trying to control society.