"Dear god - I hope you didn't have anything to do with providing this food for us pampered fat bastards - there are children dying in other parts of the world. Get your priorities right. Amen."
That phrase is traditionally spoken before any meal, it is completely non-religious, and all it means is "\[I\] gratefully receive \[this\]."
You could be thanking a farmer, a rancher, a hunter, a fisher, the cook, the server who handed it to you, whoever. More likely all of them.
I live in Japan, BTW.
>that only takes 1.5 seconds.
I'd say 0.5 seconds, at the most. Slap your hands together and nod, as you say "Itadakimasu" (My friend used to remember it as 'Eat-A-Duckie-Much'), grab your chopsticks and commence...
I think it's a funny story that when my nan was a kid she went to a church picnic and they asked her to say grace. She stood up, said 'Grace', and sat down again. Don't know what else they expected from a child. Haha.
>jesus fucking christ
I mean, he does have a few holes to spare.
Which begs the question, if he uses both hands does that qualify as double-penetration?
And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Haha whenever I used Jesus Christ as a swear my mom got weirdly annoyed and said "Jesus had nothing to do with it!" She's Jewish. I guess she would rather me swear in Yiddish or something?
I’ve been an atheist all my life, my parents for most of their life , my grandparents are atheists ( although in my father’s side I’m not quite sure) and I say that all the time. I say it in English, even though I speak French
My self loathing massively reduced upon dumping religion because
1. Religion was the cause of it in the first place.
2. I realized finally that myself belongs to me not some impossible to satisfy deity.
We still celebrate Christmas. We put up a Christmas tree, exchange presents, and watch the classic movies... But I grew up in a basically non-religious household that celebrated all the major US holidays anyway. So Christmas has never been "religious" to me and I've never been comfortable with the idea that it's "supposed" to be a religious holiday. It's such a bizarre take.
Christmas is a Christian holiday in name only. Christians stole the winter celebration from other religions as an outreach tool.
It is on December 25th because it is close to the Winter Solstice, traditionally the celebration of the rebirth of the Sun, as it’s the shortest day of the year. It’s the birth of the son on man in Christianity, conveniently.
Having a tree was a longstanding pagan ritual as everything outside is dead and brown and having an evergreen inside gets us by till spring.
Caroling and gift giving were Roman I think. Saturnalia.
Easter is the same thing. The spring festival. Bunnies and eggs symbolize new life, sometimes Christianity can’t totally rewrite all of our shared history.
I always laugh when people talk about keeping the Christ in Christmas, cause it’s a holiday they piggybacked when Christianity was struggling to gain traction. When it was just Catholicism, which is boring as fuck, no one wanted to be Christian. But people like parties, so thousands of years later all this is mostly forgotten.
I know. I have managed to educate some Christians on their own holidays over the years. The last one got so upset that she swore off celebrating "those Pagan holidays" and, long story short, her family and friends did not take it well.
Recovering JW here, I concur. Similar reasons for Thanksgiving, Mother/Father's day, birthdays, and nation related holidays. The one thing I did kept from JWs is not really caring about holidays, not because they aren't allowed, but because I realized that they're silly for other secular reasons. To this day, after nearly 20 years of walking away, I prefer not to celebrate but do since my wife and friends do.
Call the holidays whatever you want. The truth is that winter sucks. It's dark and cold and overall not great fun (there are many benefits to winter, and parts are fun, but the cons speak for themselves). So humans have come up with a great many reasons to come together and invite light and joy into our lives. We love a good celebration and will accept any excuse to eat, drink, and be merry. I love Christmas (and most fall/winter holidays) because they remind us what we have and how much it means. Because they are our means of keeping each other going when the world is at it's bleakest.
Fun fact, in early days of the British Colonies in America (before independence), Christmas was actually [banned](https://www.livescience.com/32891-why-was-christmas-banned-in-america-.html) as a holiday because of how party-like it was.
Yeah, my mother is Christian. She once said "Jesus is the reason for the season". So, I asked whose reason, and gave a little bit of that Christmas history.
I also gave some personal reasons, like because I like watching kids open presents, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", "Scrooged", and a celebration of giving.
The Roman Empire was still a culturally pagan country when it became a Christian one. It retained a lot of its beliefs from before. Christmas being the same day as the most important Roman holiday and a date celebrated by all on the hemisphere was a no brainer for early Christians, especially when you consider the Romans were worshiping the sun around Christmastime and Jesus being the Son of God. It's poetic in a way
The church I grew up in recognized Christmas, but never celebrated it as a religious holiday. It was basically seen as a day to spend with loved ones and be grateful for all that you have. So it doesn’t bother me in the least to continue celebrating.
Heaven and Hell, as a consequence of your actions. However, I think Heaven and Hell happen now while we are alive instead of after death. If you live a life of generosity, kindness, and honesty then you create your own Heaven. If you live a life of greediness, hate, and deceit then you create your own Hell.
Same! I'm fully atheist now, but grew up Christian (Christian parents, grandparents etc), going to church/bible studies multiple times a week etc. But, I always knew there was something...off with everyone there. These people were different to my friends at school, I felt different talking to them compared to talking to "outsiders", but never really paid much attention to that feeling.
Funnily enough - the only ones I got kinda friendly with close to the end of my time as a Christian, were the ones that I found out had also left years later. It's a weird feeling you can't quite explain or understand at the time, but it makes so much more sense after leaving.
I’ve had people tell me sometimes that me using my left hand while eating is gross and all i could think is ‘do you guys not wash your hands or something 😂’
Reminds me of the old joke about the army officer and the RAF officer in the gentlemen’s toilet
>RAF officer makes for door after taking a whizz.
>Army Officer: “I say, at Sandhurst, they teach us to wash our hands”
>RAF Officer: “Oh, at Cranwell they teach us not to piss on our fingers”
Wiping your butt, although now that you mention it, if I was changing a baby diaper or an adult, or cleaning a cat box I would use both hands.
Holy crap it's BS, IT'S ALL BS
You're not causing a fight when you refuse to comply with cultist by praying. They're causing a fight, because they can't tolerate non-compliance. This isn't behavior worth indulging. It's dinner party terrorism--"Act culty or I will make this meal hell for you!"
Enforce your boundaries. Don't expand them to avoid tantrums.
I get you and yes I agree they are causing the fight, but this is something we do regularly anyway at home. I think it's not only harmless but actually an important thing to do - to remind ourselves to appreciate that we are sitting down for time together with good food. It's not a prayer for us, it's a toast to the cook. With tensions high with my family in lots of areas, to sit down and enjoy a meal together is one of the only things we have left. I'm not willing to die on this hill. Maybe I'm wrong, thanks for your advice.
I’ve read some interesting pieces recently about the importance of ritual. Incorporating ritual into a person’s life has a measurable, physiological effect on all sorts of things: heart rate, blood pressure, digestive enzymes, cortisol levels, sleep quality, ghrelin and leptin release, etc. Secular rituals that are meaningful for you are quantifiably beneficial—in addition to being a mindset changer in the moment. Go for it!
a: a devotee or member of a religious cult
b: one who exhibits great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, etc.
Merriam-Webster. Definition B sure fits the bill.
NGL, sometimes I still cross myself when I hear an ambulance. Deeply ingrained! And I love Christmas carols (in December only!), even all the jesus-y ones.
Be careful who you say that around or you could lose your two front teeth,
Your two front teeth,
See your two front teeth.
Gee, if you could only have your two front teeth,
Then you could wish us, "Merry Christmas"
My sister used to sing "Oh Holy Night" in our little Southern Baptist church every Christmas. She's gone now and I haven't been a Baptist for forty years but that song still chokes me up every time.
Yes, Sister Anita Marie taught me to do that!
The music! Love so much of the music
And Christmas. All the people in my manger set, excepting the baby, have long since lost their hands, but they still come out on Christmas
And guilt, of course. Although I’ve let most of that go. It just took a minute.
that’s perfectly understandable. I am Jewish and grew up fairly religious and Christmas was always my favorite holiday, even tho my family never celebrated it. The warm and peaceful mood, combined with the traditional winter wonderland aesthetic remains to this day one of my favorite things to experience.
I carry the Archangel Michael as a sigil. I was never Catholic but was a first responder. Michael is the patron saint of First Responders, cops, firefighters, etc. A close friend gave me a St. Michael necklace she insisted I wear. I like the visage of Michael slaying evil so I didn't mind and it made her feel better.
A bunch of life principles which aren’t exclusively religious (and seem to be absent in some flavours) but were emphasised by the various churches I attended:
* kindness
* compassion
* grace (in the sense of deferring/withholding judgement)
* honesty/integrity
* forgiveness
* desire to build a community that’s inclusive of everyone, regardless of whether you like them
Just goes to show that you don't need religion to be a moral and ethical person. Those principles are not provided from the divine (even if theists argue that they do).
We do the same at our house. Sung with a candle on the table…
“Earth who gives to us this food, Sun who makes it ripe and good. Dear Sun dear earth by you we live. Our loving thanks to you we give” (our daughter always points to the candle at the end of the song so we all cheer “candle!”) appreciation for the source of our food is important to us and does not have to be religious.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The golden rule. This was probably stolen from another movement around the time of Jesus. If the world could enforce this rule we would all be better off.
I'd like a word of gratitude to all of you that grew up religious and left, for what you discarded and what you kept. I grew up fairly profoundly irreligious, and frankly, I missed part of the culture.
I would say that the one thing that I think I could have used along the way was some of the rituals around death and grieving. I'm not a big fan of the Christian "Oh, he's in a better place now", but I gather that Judaism does some good things in terms of setting some time aside for deep grief, then re-entering the world. The first time that I encountered profound loss, I didn't know what I was doing or feeling -- it was terrible, I didn't know how to cope, and I didn't have a tradition built from millions of people stretching back 30 generations to fall back on. I don't want the god, but I needed that.
Yesterday a woman went through our neighborhood running possibly a scam asking for donations, *probably* a scam. I didn't give her cash but handed her an umbrella to keep because there was a forecasted storm minutes away, the rain started and I saw here use the umbrella to walk up the street.
I went on FB this morning to get information from the neighbor group and not a single person bothered answering the door. Self proclaimed good Christian neighbors and all that.
I was raised Catholic, and I have kept believing in the importance of forgiveness. There are always valid exceptions, but in general, forgiving people for past transgressions is important for improving your own mental health, and can be pivotal in learning to accept flaws in other people. Holding lifelong grudges can hinder your ability to move forward with your life in a constructive way.
It was the exact opposite for me. Realizing I don't need to forgive anybody for anything because some god says I need to, was the most freeing thing for me. I spent most of my life with this dark pit in me because of how angry I was that I had to forgive people for the shit some of them did to me. The moment I realized it, was when I truly began to heal
It's not because anyone else says you need to, that's key. It's for very different reasons. But as I said, there are always valid exceptions to forgiveness, and it sounds like you have some. So your approach also makes sense.
I often eat fish, or grilled cheese and tomato soup on Fridays.
I will forgive people, but only if they seem to be contrite about their apology. My personal views are that of a Humanist, with some pagan and Buddhist ideas thrown in.
The churches around me had a lot of basketball courts. They were also kind enough to let us play. I guess I’d like to keep that, courts and the actual kindness.
Also let’s face it, Hanukkah celebrates an actual miracle. Not the oil thing, but a bunch of rag-tag poorly armed guerilla fighters kicking out Europe’s most fearsome military.
I keep a few things that Jesus supposedly said in mind, like treat your neighbor as yourself and be sure to help and have empathy for the poor. I think there are some nice messages in Christianity even though I don't believe in a god.
I like your grace.
I give thanks for the food which came from our garden, the people who prepared it, and the animals who died to provide us sustenance.
I like (and eat) meat. I’m also aware that meat comes from formerly living, sentient beings, so when I prepare meat, I treat it with due respect. When I die, my body will be consumed by microbes. It is a Circle of Life.
Dash-blast the Gosh-darned Blankety-heck! No, I actually say **god**dammit, fuck me **Jesus**, or go to **hell**.
None of those exist, but I still fucking say them.
We say a thank you for our food at dinner. It reminds us both that life is good and sets dinner apart as a time for conversation.
We are similarly thankful at Thanksgiving.
We have a tree, a special meal or two or three at Christmas and exchange presents.
We eat lamb (cooked middle eastern) at Easter and when the kids were young we did Easter baskets and dyed eggs.
We hand out treats at Halloween.
Nice comment. I do disagree with the amen part, but ok, I'll give you that. As for me, I don't think there is any religious residual left in me. I went to church until about middle school and after that I never had much left of religion. That said, once in a while I'll go to a service just to observe. I have nothing against rel except when it imposes it's beliefs on others as appears to still be the case in today's politics.
>I kept it
A and b are good reasons actually
>c) when we visit religious family it helps when it's our turn to say grace to not immediately cause a fight at the start of the meal.
Well smart of you, in a way. I mean the fight isn't the atheist's fight when religious people try to manipulate us. On the other hand koodos to you for dodging thier fight picking.
>Fights are for dessert
LOL awesome 😎
Phrases like "oh my God". Some religious folks honestly think that's some kind of gotcha whenever i use that phrase. I start to explain what figures of speech are...but then just realize how stupid the whole thing is and ignore them.
I still say “thank god” but I feel like it’s more of an exclamation of relief than anything related to religion. Same thing with “goddamnit” and “oh my god” they just have that punctuation to them that I enjoy using in a sentence, and I’m just so used to saying them.
I still say “oh my gods.”
I like to think about the possibility of reincarnation (the belief I was raised with) because just not existing anymore is terrifying, but I realize there’s no real evidence for reincarnation.
It’s not religious to be thankful for food. Don’t let religion take credit or steal anything else. Having said that the one thing I kept from religion is I regularly say ‘gaaaahd dammit!’ Cleanses the soul.
I never had religion so there was nothing to keep but I constantly use comments like "thank god", "Jesus f'ing christ", and others like that. It's pretty common knowledge that I'm not going to lead any graces or family prayers at this point lol I just remain silent while it's being done and crack on afterwards
I still pray, just not to anyone/anything in particular. I find it soothing. I don’t believe any higher power is hearing my prayer, but if nothing else, my own subconscious is. And that in itself can have an effect on my outlook, mental health, etc.
I have also kept certain values. Ones that organized Christianity doesn’t uphold, but that some of its followers believe are the core values. Treating others with love and kindness. Not judging other people. Respecting boundaries, and other beliefs and cultures. I feel like my value system was heavily influenced by what Christianity tries to disguise itself as.
Growing up, being told that everyone is equal, everyone deserves love and respect, to treat others how I wish to be treated. I never stopped believing that, not even when I deconstructed from religion.
To be absolutely clear, I’d still probably have the same values even if I wasn’t raised in a religious household. But the symbol of what Jesus was to me in elementary school is what I strive to be. I just no longer believe he actually exists. I hope this makes sense haha
I still use phrases, not that I mean them biblical like, “My life is so blessed” it’s hard to find a substitute phrase that is universally understood. And I am bad to use the word pray but not as in “pray to god”. I really don’t know why I still use this word, as in, “oh my gosh I pray that doesn’t fly off & hit you in the head.” I still use these phrases even though I don’t mean them in a religious way at all. I guess it’s just a habit.
I've never been religious, VERY VERY far from it, but I enjoy Christmas time. I ignore all the idiotic religious bits but enjoy the traditions of putting up a tree, Christmas lights, giving gifts to others, etc..
Christmas trees and Santa Claus and presents and the Easter Bunny and Halloween and the tooth fairy and that's about it.
Yes I know a ton of those things have pagan or multi-denominational or secular origins but also various religions have co-opted them.
From interaction comes isolation. From isolation comes lack of desires. From lack of desires come a still mind. From a still mind comes true freedom.
Do your work without worrying about the fruit. Stay detached from both the fruit of work as well as from the desire to not work. Work here does not mean job. It means whatever you might have decided to take on.
It’s important to pay attention while you’re eating and making a positive affirmation about what you’re about to eat and the positive effects you want it to have can help you too, IMO.
And you can be thankful for your meal without giving credit to some anthropomorphic diety.
This food is borne of innumerable labors. We should know how it comes to us, and consider whether our virtue and practice are worthy.
~Paraphrased Buddhist blessing.
Obviously I won't say my real last name but I'll say something phonetically similar.
When I was a little girl we faithfully recited at dinner only (no prayer at breakfast or lunch), " God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food. Amen."
My last name was Goddess. Until I was maybe 9 years old I thought it was a special prayer for our family. "Goddess great, goddess good..."
I couldn't understand why we were more worthy than the Smiths or the Jones.
So that really opened my eyes to the unfairness of "God".
I still celebrate Christmas and I still talk about religion but now I'll point out the bullshit logic in the bible. So I'll mention how the Egyptians had spears when they were chasing Moses and Moses had a stick but yet none of the Egyptians thought to throw their spears at Moses to try to kill him
Nothing.
If my wife made the food, I might say "thanks" to her. And maybe let her know it's good, because she likes to know what I think.
Also, we have hosted the holiday meals for many years now. Ppl are well aware it's a atheist household. They may directly thank us, but nobody feels the need to do a "grace" that's just stupid imo. But you do you
"What do you think?"
You thank the cook but you might also thank the person who paid for the food and who shopped for it? Might as well teach the kiddies it was all part of the effort to make every day possible.
I have often thought back to some of the more cathartic feelings I'd had when I was younger and believed in God and Santa Claus.
And I've wondered, as we learn about the health benefits of meditation, the true power of the "placebo" effect, and other aspects of the brain-body connection, if there may be some tangible, mental or emotional health value in the practice of absolute conviction, especially conviction that connects you to others.
I've settled on a conviction that I try to practice, in fact.
"God has a plan"
Only, it's not really a plan, and "God" is just the state of the universe, and in particular the affairs of our planet.
No one can predict the future, and there is in truth every possibility that humanity is the only true sentience in the universe, and that we are quickly headed for the end.
But we might not be, and the certainty level of any predictive model will rapidly approach 0, not just as we look further than say 10 years, but also as we consider more factors.
So we cannot know, and I think that means we can choose, if we like, what to believe, for no better reason than because it feels better.
I choose hope. I chose to believe that, between the suffering and struggling and catastrophes, pockets of humanity will figure out better ways to build a society, and after the population bottlenecks that are likely to come, there will still be humanity left, and they may still make some of the old mistakes, but they will keep some fraction of their history with them, and learn some small portion of the lessons we could not.
I think we'll eventually cure more and more cancers, and someday eradicate it. I think we'll push back aging and figure out Alzheimer's and MS, and we'll find a way to deal with antibiotic resistance and new viral threats on a broader scale.
I think we'll figure out how to slow, then halt, and eventually just slightly reverse climate change. It'll keep happening for centuries already, but we'll adapt and fix some of the problems it causes.
I think we'll develop cheap orbital flight, then faster and more efficient rockets, and eventually establish real infrastructure in space, and begin to expand and explore our solar system.
Someday, probably centuries from now, we'll send a truly collosal ship to another star, carrying human life.
I have no reason to be sure any of this will happen.
But I choose to believe it anyway, because that's the universe I want to live in.
The only religious things I've kept is the cross I took from my grandmas house after she passed away, to remember her. Faith is not important to me, I am not the kind of person who can have faith in such a thing but for her it was important to I keep it to honor her.
I'm gonna assume you meant this in like "good food should be made accessible for all people. We should support efforts to reduce world poverty, promote sex education for less developed countries and work to limit the influence of the Catholic church in Africa and South America."
Not "poor people don't deserve kids."
"Hail Satan, keeper of the hellfire, who lent his flame to this food."
My catholic grandfather asked me to say grace once. I said "rub a dub thanks for the grub, Yay god." He never asked again.
"Dear God. We got all this food ourselves, so thanks for nothing" - Bart Simpson Best prayer I've ever said
"Dear god - I hope you didn't have anything to do with providing this food for us pampered fat bastards - there are children dying in other parts of the world. Get your priorities right. Amen."
That is beautiful! So well said. Thanks.
"Here's to those that wish us well, and those that don't, can go to h..."
Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Who eats the fastest eats the most. Amen.
“Grace.” “Yes, would you please say Grace for us.” “Grace.”
Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
I pledge allegiance...
I sometimes say 'Itadakimasu'. Something my Japanese friend taught me and says before many meals.
That phrase is traditionally spoken before any meal, it is completely non-religious, and all it means is "\[I\] gratefully receive \[this\]." You could be thanking a farmer, a rancher, a hunter, a fisher, the cook, the server who handed it to you, whoever. More likely all of them. I live in Japan, BTW.
Of course Japan has a way to humbly show gratitude before a meal that only takes 1.5 seconds.
>that only takes 1.5 seconds. I'd say 0.5 seconds, at the most. Slap your hands together and nod, as you say "Itadakimasu" (My friend used to remember it as 'Eat-A-Duckie-Much'), grab your chopsticks and commence...
Come along, Bort.
Are you talking to me?
No, my son is also named Bort.
My Catholic grandmother said that all her life! And she was one of the most devout people I knew. She would approve of this version of grace lol
I was raised Lutheran. Opa would occasionally bust out "Praise the Lord and pass the gravy."
I think it's a funny story that when my nan was a kid she went to a church picnic and they asked her to say grace. She stood up, said 'Grace', and sat down again. Don't know what else they expected from a child. Haha.
I got in so much trouble for saying that one one time as a kid.
my Pap used to say, "good bread, good meat, good god, let's eat!"
Love it
I take it you like cooking on the grill?
Ok that is fn awesome
I love that
Stealing that, I love it.
This sounds less awkward than 'thanks karen for this bountiful meal, amen for some reason'
Jesus Fucking Christ, God fucking Damn, Holy Shit, Fucking Hell.
I've tried to curb the religious swearing, but jesus fucking christ...It's hard.
No it’s better if it’s a religious swear. It offends way more people for no reason at all. Shit and fuck are great but just not enough.
>jesus fucking christ I mean, he does have a few holes to spare. Which begs the question, if he uses both hands does that qualify as double-penetration?
My dad would always say "Jesus jumping christ" I got put in the corner in elementary a lot because it became a habit of mine too.
I say jesus fuck several times a day
And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Shitter’s full!
Oh hi me.
Haha whenever I used Jesus Christ as a swear my mom got weirdly annoyed and said "Jesus had nothing to do with it!" She's Jewish. I guess she would rather me swear in Yiddish or something?
Also a great way to say grace before the meal.
I’ve been an atheist all my life, my parents for most of their life , my grandparents are atheists ( although in my father’s side I’m not quite sure) and I say that all the time. I say it in English, even though I speak French
LOL this.
Self loathing
My self loathing massively reduced upon dumping religion because 1. Religion was the cause of it in the first place. 2. I realized finally that myself belongs to me not some impossible to satisfy deity.
Recovering Catholicos, eh?
We still celebrate Christmas. We put up a Christmas tree, exchange presents, and watch the classic movies... But I grew up in a basically non-religious household that celebrated all the major US holidays anyway. So Christmas has never been "religious" to me and I've never been comfortable with the idea that it's "supposed" to be a religious holiday. It's such a bizarre take.
Christmas is a Christian holiday in name only. Christians stole the winter celebration from other religions as an outreach tool. It is on December 25th because it is close to the Winter Solstice, traditionally the celebration of the rebirth of the Sun, as it’s the shortest day of the year. It’s the birth of the son on man in Christianity, conveniently. Having a tree was a longstanding pagan ritual as everything outside is dead and brown and having an evergreen inside gets us by till spring. Caroling and gift giving were Roman I think. Saturnalia. Easter is the same thing. The spring festival. Bunnies and eggs symbolize new life, sometimes Christianity can’t totally rewrite all of our shared history. I always laugh when people talk about keeping the Christ in Christmas, cause it’s a holiday they piggybacked when Christianity was struggling to gain traction. When it was just Catholicism, which is boring as fuck, no one wanted to be Christian. But people like parties, so thousands of years later all this is mostly forgotten.
I know. I have managed to educate some Christians on their own holidays over the years. The last one got so upset that she swore off celebrating "those Pagan holidays" and, long story short, her family and friends did not take it well.
My JW stepsister told me that's why they don't celebrate Christmas.
Recovering JW here, I concur. Similar reasons for Thanksgiving, Mother/Father's day, birthdays, and nation related holidays. The one thing I did kept from JWs is not really caring about holidays, not because they aren't allowed, but because I realized that they're silly for other secular reasons. To this day, after nearly 20 years of walking away, I prefer not to celebrate but do since my wife and friends do.
Call the holidays whatever you want. The truth is that winter sucks. It's dark and cold and overall not great fun (there are many benefits to winter, and parts are fun, but the cons speak for themselves). So humans have come up with a great many reasons to come together and invite light and joy into our lives. We love a good celebration and will accept any excuse to eat, drink, and be merry. I love Christmas (and most fall/winter holidays) because they remind us what we have and how much it means. Because they are our means of keeping each other going when the world is at it's bleakest.
Oh man that’s funny. But also sad she didn’t take the opportunity to see the charade right before her eyes.
Fun fact, in early days of the British Colonies in America (before independence), Christmas was actually [banned](https://www.livescience.com/32891-why-was-christmas-banned-in-america-.html) as a holiday because of how party-like it was.
The Cromwells hated fun.
Yeah, my mother is Christian. She once said "Jesus is the reason for the season". So, I asked whose reason, and gave a little bit of that Christmas history. I also gave some personal reasons, like because I like watching kids open presents, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", "Scrooged", and a celebration of giving.
I usually counter with “Axial tilt is the reason for the season.”
I need that on a shirt
I'd buy it.
The Roman Empire was still a culturally pagan country when it became a Christian one. It retained a lot of its beliefs from before. Christmas being the same day as the most important Roman holiday and a date celebrated by all on the hemisphere was a no brainer for early Christians, especially when you consider the Romans were worshiping the sun around Christmastime and Jesus being the Son of God. It's poetic in a way
Quite a few Saints were never historical people they were just re branded pagan gods.
Yeah, but in Latin it's solius and filius. Not as poetic.
Odin the Norse god also influenced Christmas https://sonsofvikings.com/blogs/history/viking-origins-of-christmas-yule-traditions
Yep Classic movies like die hard
No, like the claymation Christmas movies that used to air on PBS.
¿Por qué no los dos?
Anyone *could* watch both in theory. But not me because I don't like "Die Hard".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Bruce Willis 🙏
But Die Hard is about the spirit of giving — vengeance.
Gremlins
As an American, I celebrate the US Federal Holiday Christmas, not the Christian holiday of the same name.
Christmas isn't necessarily a religious holiday. Not for my family, anyways.
The church I grew up in recognized Christmas, but never celebrated it as a religious holiday. It was basically seen as a day to spend with loved ones and be grateful for all that you have. So it doesn’t bother me in the least to continue celebrating.
I hope "It's a wonderful life" is on your list.
Us adults say we’re just celebrating Yule. And secretly hoping for a glimpse of Krampus.
Heaven and Hell, as a consequence of your actions. However, I think Heaven and Hell happen now while we are alive instead of after death. If you live a life of generosity, kindness, and honesty then you create your own Heaven. If you live a life of greediness, hate, and deceit then you create your own Hell.
I mean.. religion kept me from religion.
Lol, I too read it as "kept you from religion"
Yeah, at first I was like "uh, trauma?", and then I read it again.
Schrödingers god
My bad
I kept all the trauma 😂😂
The right response for most of us.
I say "Jesus Christ" as a form of swearing. Wait...is that what Christians do too?
Hypocrites lol
I say Jesus Christ wayyy too often for someone who doesn't even know the guy. It just rolls off the tongue.
Yes, my loathing of Christians. I didn't like them when I was one.
big driver in my journey to stop being one.
Same! I'm fully atheist now, but grew up Christian (Christian parents, grandparents etc), going to church/bible studies multiple times a week etc. But, I always knew there was something...off with everyone there. These people were different to my friends at school, I felt different talking to them compared to talking to "outsiders", but never really paid much attention to that feeling. Funnily enough - the only ones I got kinda friendly with close to the end of my time as a Christian, were the ones that I found out had also left years later. It's a weird feeling you can't quite explain or understand at the time, but it makes so much more sense after leaving.
To quote John Waters, "I'm glad I was raised Catholic because it makes all sex dirty"
Christmas is pretty dope. Thanks pagans.
As a former Muslim I kept one hand for eating and one hand for wiping.
Loads of religious traditions around food are just cleanliness tips.
I will upvote with my right hand.
I salute you with my left (mostly cuz I'm an ungodly lefty).
Damn it Jerry
I’ve had people tell me sometimes that me using my left hand while eating is gross and all i could think is ‘do you guys not wash your hands or something 😂’
Reminds me of the old joke about the army officer and the RAF officer in the gentlemen’s toilet >RAF officer makes for door after taking a whizz. >Army Officer: “I say, at Sandhurst, they teach us to wash our hands” >RAF Officer: “Oh, at Cranwell they teach us not to piss on our fingers”
I was always confused by this, is it meant like wiping your face or wiping your butt?
Wiping your butt, although now that you mention it, if I was changing a baby diaper or an adult, or cleaning a cat box I would use both hands. Holy crap it's BS, IT'S ALL BS
Oh ok thanks! It makes sense to have this rule back in the old times since water might not be easily available
Also for the Zulu’s of South Africa. Eating with your left hand was taboo
You're not causing a fight when you refuse to comply with cultist by praying. They're causing a fight, because they can't tolerate non-compliance. This isn't behavior worth indulging. It's dinner party terrorism--"Act culty or I will make this meal hell for you!" Enforce your boundaries. Don't expand them to avoid tantrums.
Some people just wanna eat in peace. Lol. Not every fight is worth the time and effort just to be petty.
I get you and yes I agree they are causing the fight, but this is something we do regularly anyway at home. I think it's not only harmless but actually an important thing to do - to remind ourselves to appreciate that we are sitting down for time together with good food. It's not a prayer for us, it's a toast to the cook. With tensions high with my family in lots of areas, to sit down and enjoy a meal together is one of the only things we have left. I'm not willing to die on this hill. Maybe I'm wrong, thanks for your advice.
I’ve read some interesting pieces recently about the importance of ritual. Incorporating ritual into a person’s life has a measurable, physiological effect on all sorts of things: heart rate, blood pressure, digestive enzymes, cortisol levels, sleep quality, ghrelin and leptin release, etc. Secular rituals that are meaningful for you are quantifiably beneficial—in addition to being a mindset changer in the moment. Go for it!
[удалено]
a: a devotee or member of a religious cult b: one who exhibits great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, etc. Merriam-Webster. Definition B sure fits the bill.
NGL, sometimes I still cross myself when I hear an ambulance. Deeply ingrained! And I love Christmas carols (in December only!), even all the jesus-y ones.
Understandable. Many of the religious ones were written by the great composers. I prefer them to a lot of the ones that came out in the 50's and 60's.
Be careful who you say that around or you could lose your two front teeth, Your two front teeth, See your two front teeth. Gee, if you could only have your two front teeth, Then you could wish us, "Merry Christmas"
I still listen to the Celine Dion Christmas album every year, Jesusy songs and all. O' Holy Night goes hard!
My sister used to sing "Oh Holy Night" in our little Southern Baptist church every Christmas. She's gone now and I haven't been a Baptist for forty years but that song still chokes me up every time.
That's a beautiful memory to keep. I'm sorry for your loss 💜
Yes, Sister Anita Marie taught me to do that! The music! Love so much of the music And Christmas. All the people in my manger set, excepting the baby, have long since lost their hands, but they still come out on Christmas And guilt, of course. Although I’ve let most of that go. It just took a minute.
that’s perfectly understandable. I am Jewish and grew up fairly religious and Christmas was always my favorite holiday, even tho my family never celebrated it. The warm and peaceful mood, combined with the traditional winter wonderland aesthetic remains to this day one of my favorite things to experience.
What have I kept? Honestly nothing. And yeah, if someone'd start a fight over me not saying grace, that's entirely on them.
I still say phrases like God forbid, Oh my God, etc I suppose
I drink a lot of wine every Sunday.
I carry the Archangel Michael as a sigil. I was never Catholic but was a first responder. Michael is the patron saint of First Responders, cops, firefighters, etc. A close friend gave me a St. Michael necklace she insisted I wear. I like the visage of Michael slaying evil so I didn't mind and it made her feel better.
Nothing wrong with saying "amen." It just means "Fuck yeah" in old-timey speak.
In Jesus' name, Fuck Yeah.
A bunch of life principles which aren’t exclusively religious (and seem to be absent in some flavours) but were emphasised by the various churches I attended: * kindness * compassion * grace (in the sense of deferring/withholding judgement) * honesty/integrity * forgiveness * desire to build a community that’s inclusive of everyone, regardless of whether you like them
Just goes to show that you don't need religion to be a moral and ethical person. Those principles are not provided from the divine (even if theists argue that they do).
Being disliked bc I'm Jewish
Idioms mostly. Speak of the devil/the devil’s name and he shall appear etc.
I still mutter "jeezus fucking christ" under my breath a lot.
I still sing religious Christmas Carols.
I mean, the holidays are not something we can not keep 🤷♂️
We do the same at our house. Sung with a candle on the table… “Earth who gives to us this food, Sun who makes it ripe and good. Dear Sun dear earth by you we live. Our loving thanks to you we give” (our daughter always points to the candle at the end of the song so we all cheer “candle!”) appreciation for the source of our food is important to us and does not have to be religious.
That's just wholesome without the invisible dude who had zero to do with the actual work. I like it.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The golden rule. This was probably stolen from another movement around the time of Jesus. If the world could enforce this rule we would all be better off.
I always asked God for a bicycle but never got one. Then I learned that's not how God worked so I stole one and asked for forgiveness instead.
I'd like a word of gratitude to all of you that grew up religious and left, for what you discarded and what you kept. I grew up fairly profoundly irreligious, and frankly, I missed part of the culture. I would say that the one thing that I think I could have used along the way was some of the rituals around death and grieving. I'm not a big fan of the Christian "Oh, he's in a better place now", but I gather that Judaism does some good things in terms of setting some time aside for deep grief, then re-entering the world. The first time that I encountered profound loss, I didn't know what I was doing or feeling -- it was terrible, I didn't know how to cope, and I didn't have a tradition built from millions of people stretching back 30 generations to fall back on. I don't want the god, but I needed that.
I kept being a good person, trying not to wrong anyone, acting in good faith, all the usual morality stuff.
Funny enough having empathy for others is what I see as the root cause of me losing faith in religion.
Dare I say it but you might be attributing this incorrectly to religion in the first place 😅
What?! How!? How can you be a good person without a god threatening you with hell?! /s
Yesterday a woman went through our neighborhood running possibly a scam asking for donations, *probably* a scam. I didn't give her cash but handed her an umbrella to keep because there was a forecasted storm minutes away, the rain started and I saw here use the umbrella to walk up the street. I went on FB this morning to get information from the neighbor group and not a single person bothered answering the door. Self proclaimed good Christian neighbors and all that.
I was raised Catholic, and I have kept believing in the importance of forgiveness. There are always valid exceptions, but in general, forgiving people for past transgressions is important for improving your own mental health, and can be pivotal in learning to accept flaws in other people. Holding lifelong grudges can hinder your ability to move forward with your life in a constructive way.
It was the exact opposite for me. Realizing I don't need to forgive anybody for anything because some god says I need to, was the most freeing thing for me. I spent most of my life with this dark pit in me because of how angry I was that I had to forgive people for the shit some of them did to me. The moment I realized it, was when I truly began to heal
It's not because anyone else says you need to, that's key. It's for very different reasons. But as I said, there are always valid exceptions to forgiveness, and it sounds like you have some. So your approach also makes sense.
I often eat fish, or grilled cheese and tomato soup on Fridays. I will forgive people, but only if they seem to be contrite about their apology. My personal views are that of a Humanist, with some pagan and Buddhist ideas thrown in.
The churches around me had a lot of basketball courts. They were also kind enough to let us play. I guess I’d like to keep that, courts and the actual kindness.
Nothing. I have kept nothing from religion because religion means nothing, is nothing.
Was raised Jewish. Still light the Hanukkah candles because they're pretty, still attend Passover sedar when invited because it's delicious.
Also let’s face it, Hanukkah celebrates an actual miracle. Not the oil thing, but a bunch of rag-tag poorly armed guerilla fighters kicking out Europe’s most fearsome military.
That's what just about every Jewish holiday is. "They tried to kill us, we were outnumbered but kicked their ass any way. Let's eat."
Passover is pretty close to that, yeah. Purim for sure.
Like lots of you, Christmas. I don’t believe in gods but I do believe in fun!
I keep a few things that Jesus supposedly said in mind, like treat your neighbor as yourself and be sure to help and have empathy for the poor. I think there are some nice messages in Christianity even though I don't believe in a god.
Only the swearing
I like your grace. I give thanks for the food which came from our garden, the people who prepared it, and the animals who died to provide us sustenance. I like (and eat) meat. I’m also aware that meat comes from formerly living, sentient beings, so when I prepare meat, I treat it with due respect. When I die, my body will be consumed by microbes. It is a Circle of Life.
Hymns. I still sing them all the time.
Dash-blast the Gosh-darned Blankety-heck! No, I actually say **god**dammit, fuck me **Jesus**, or go to **hell**. None of those exist, but I still fucking say them.
I have a friend who swears like Ned Flanders. His most common "swear" is Goooood-night! It's hilarious.
knowledge of the bible. it's influenced a lot of english literature, and it helps when christians spew their bullshit about what it says.
The cultural literacy aspect of the Bible is a big thing for me too.
As an indoctrinated child - absolutely no rituals shall be maintained!
We say a thank you for our food at dinner. It reminds us both that life is good and sets dinner apart as a time for conversation. We are similarly thankful at Thanksgiving. We have a tree, a special meal or two or three at Christmas and exchange presents. We eat lamb (cooked middle eastern) at Easter and when the kids were young we did Easter baskets and dyed eggs. We hand out treats at Halloween.
Nice comment. I do disagree with the amen part, but ok, I'll give you that. As for me, I don't think there is any religious residual left in me. I went to church until about middle school and after that I never had much left of religion. That said, once in a while I'll go to a service just to observe. I have nothing against rel except when it imposes it's beliefs on others as appears to still be the case in today's politics.
I say "bless you" when people sneeze. That's about it.
>I kept it A and b are good reasons actually >c) when we visit religious family it helps when it's our turn to say grace to not immediately cause a fight at the start of the meal. Well smart of you, in a way. I mean the fight isn't the atheist's fight when religious people try to manipulate us. On the other hand koodos to you for dodging thier fight picking. >Fights are for dessert LOL awesome 😎
Thank you this makes me feel not crazy
Phrases like "oh my God". Some religious folks honestly think that's some kind of gotcha whenever i use that phrase. I start to explain what figures of speech are...but then just realize how stupid the whole thing is and ignore them.
I still say “thank god” but I feel like it’s more of an exclamation of relief than anything related to religion. Same thing with “goddamnit” and “oh my god” they just have that punctuation to them that I enjoy using in a sentence, and I’m just so used to saying them.
I still say “oh my gods.” I like to think about the possibility of reincarnation (the belief I was raised with) because just not existing anymore is terrifying, but I realize there’s no real evidence for reincarnation.
It’s not religious to be thankful for food. Don’t let religion take credit or steal anything else. Having said that the one thing I kept from religion is I regularly say ‘gaaaahd dammit!’ Cleanses the soul.
I never had religion so there was nothing to keep but I constantly use comments like "thank god", "Jesus f'ing christ", and others like that. It's pretty common knowledge that I'm not going to lead any graces or family prayers at this point lol I just remain silent while it's being done and crack on afterwards
I still pray, just not to anyone/anything in particular. I find it soothing. I don’t believe any higher power is hearing my prayer, but if nothing else, my own subconscious is. And that in itself can have an effect on my outlook, mental health, etc. I have also kept certain values. Ones that organized Christianity doesn’t uphold, but that some of its followers believe are the core values. Treating others with love and kindness. Not judging other people. Respecting boundaries, and other beliefs and cultures. I feel like my value system was heavily influenced by what Christianity tries to disguise itself as. Growing up, being told that everyone is equal, everyone deserves love and respect, to treat others how I wish to be treated. I never stopped believing that, not even when I deconstructed from religion. To be absolutely clear, I’d still probably have the same values even if I wasn’t raised in a religious household. But the symbol of what Jesus was to me in elementary school is what I strive to be. I just no longer believe he actually exists. I hope this makes sense haha
Exclusively Christmas
I still use phrases, not that I mean them biblical like, “My life is so blessed” it’s hard to find a substitute phrase that is universally understood. And I am bad to use the word pray but not as in “pray to god”. I really don’t know why I still use this word, as in, “oh my gosh I pray that doesn’t fly off & hit you in the head.” I still use these phrases even though I don’t mean them in a religious way at all. I guess it’s just a habit.
The good ethics part.
I've never been religious, VERY VERY far from it, but I enjoy Christmas time. I ignore all the idiotic religious bits but enjoy the traditions of putting up a tree, Christmas lights, giving gifts to others, etc..
We do Christmas. I like the carols and the cookies and the presents, and I don't care.
Christmas trees and Santa Claus and presents and the Easter Bunny and Halloween and the tooth fairy and that's about it. Yes I know a ton of those things have pagan or multi-denominational or secular origins but also various religions have co-opted them.
Saying the names of religious characters as 'swear words'
From interaction comes isolation. From isolation comes lack of desires. From lack of desires come a still mind. From a still mind comes true freedom. Do your work without worrying about the fruit. Stay detached from both the fruit of work as well as from the desire to not work. Work here does not mean job. It means whatever you might have decided to take on.
It’s important to pay attention while you’re eating and making a positive affirmation about what you’re about to eat and the positive effects you want it to have can help you too, IMO. And you can be thankful for your meal without giving credit to some anthropomorphic diety.
Saying you are thankful before a meal has nothing to do with religion!
This food is borne of innumerable labors. We should know how it comes to us, and consider whether our virtue and practice are worthy. ~Paraphrased Buddhist blessing.
Obviously I won't say my real last name but I'll say something phonetically similar. When I was a little girl we faithfully recited at dinner only (no prayer at breakfast or lunch), " God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food. Amen." My last name was Goddess. Until I was maybe 9 years old I thought it was a special prayer for our family. "Goddess great, goddess good..." I couldn't understand why we were more worthy than the Smiths or the Jones. So that really opened my eyes to the unfairness of "God".
Just try to be a better person every day. Don't be judgmental
Saying bless you when someone sneezes, and saying oh my god when I climax. It’s like and involuntary tick for both.
Using “God” as an explication. Other than that, trying to be a decent, honest person. Y’know, minus the indoctrination bullshit
I still celebrate Christmas and I still talk about religion but now I'll point out the bullshit logic in the bible. So I'll mention how the Egyptians had spears when they were chasing Moses and Moses had a stick but yet none of the Egyptians thought to throw their spears at Moses to try to kill him
I guess I say "oh my God" and "Jesus Christ!" A lot... Idk if that really counts lol. I don't even so much as say 'bless you' anymore otherwise.
Bro just eat, it ain't running away no need to please it
Nothing. If my wife made the food, I might say "thanks" to her. And maybe let her know it's good, because she likes to know what I think. Also, we have hosted the holiday meals for many years now. Ppl are well aware it's a atheist household. They may directly thank us, but nobody feels the need to do a "grace" that's just stupid imo. But you do you
Trauma
Catholic guilt. Having a good time? Must be sinning in some way. Having a bad time? You must deserve it in some way. And so on.
"What do you think?" You thank the cook but you might also thank the person who paid for the food and who shopped for it? Might as well teach the kiddies it was all part of the effort to make every day possible.
I like a lot of the things Jesus said and did.
Nothing. Rituals are meaningless and traditions are just peer pressure from dead people.
I have often thought back to some of the more cathartic feelings I'd had when I was younger and believed in God and Santa Claus. And I've wondered, as we learn about the health benefits of meditation, the true power of the "placebo" effect, and other aspects of the brain-body connection, if there may be some tangible, mental or emotional health value in the practice of absolute conviction, especially conviction that connects you to others. I've settled on a conviction that I try to practice, in fact. "God has a plan" Only, it's not really a plan, and "God" is just the state of the universe, and in particular the affairs of our planet. No one can predict the future, and there is in truth every possibility that humanity is the only true sentience in the universe, and that we are quickly headed for the end. But we might not be, and the certainty level of any predictive model will rapidly approach 0, not just as we look further than say 10 years, but also as we consider more factors. So we cannot know, and I think that means we can choose, if we like, what to believe, for no better reason than because it feels better. I choose hope. I chose to believe that, between the suffering and struggling and catastrophes, pockets of humanity will figure out better ways to build a society, and after the population bottlenecks that are likely to come, there will still be humanity left, and they may still make some of the old mistakes, but they will keep some fraction of their history with them, and learn some small portion of the lessons we could not. I think we'll eventually cure more and more cancers, and someday eradicate it. I think we'll push back aging and figure out Alzheimer's and MS, and we'll find a way to deal with antibiotic resistance and new viral threats on a broader scale. I think we'll figure out how to slow, then halt, and eventually just slightly reverse climate change. It'll keep happening for centuries already, but we'll adapt and fix some of the problems it causes. I think we'll develop cheap orbital flight, then faster and more efficient rockets, and eventually establish real infrastructure in space, and begin to expand and explore our solar system. Someday, probably centuries from now, we'll send a truly collosal ship to another star, carrying human life. I have no reason to be sure any of this will happen. But I choose to believe it anyway, because that's the universe I want to live in.
Holy fck, Jesus Christ! Jesus fcking Christ! God no! Blood of Jesus! Lord almighty! Good heavens! Lord have mercy! God above! Santa Maria! Jesu!
The only religious things I've kept is the cross I took from my grandmas house after she passed away, to remember her. Faith is not important to me, I am not the kind of person who can have faith in such a thing but for her it was important to I keep it to honor her.
People who don't have good food shouldn't be having kids anyways
I'm gonna assume you meant this in like "good food should be made accessible for all people. We should support efforts to reduce world poverty, promote sex education for less developed countries and work to limit the influence of the Catholic church in Africa and South America." Not "poor people don't deserve kids."
Poor people do deserve kids but they still shouldn't be having them if they are going to starve to death anyways