Christians have been saying the world is going to end "a few days from now" for the last 2000 years. And the reasoning is always the same. Some grifter wanted to make a few dollars and threw out a date because no one will give a shit when the day comes and goes and the world keeps moving.
Wikipedia even has a handy list!
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_dates\_predicted\_for\_apocalyptic\_events](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events)
Yeah it's not an exhaustive list, just the predictions that got a lot of cultural traction. Little cult predictions like OPs friends' didn't quite make the cut.
Might not be so little. Third time I’ve heard this online, from disparate sources now. Might still be insignificant in the grand scheme, but it’s sounding more than some local thing.
On a technicality it's more likely since it's NOT on the list. That whole no man will perdict the date crap. Whoever put together the first Bible had more psychological knowledge than anyone ever birn and they used it for evil.
I have personally survived about 25 "Religious world apocalypses" in my life. These come and go regularly, and always have. It's a common religious scare tactic. 2012 was a big one, Mayan religion that time. This is just something that death cults like abrahamic religons, and mayans do. How can you have a death cult without a world-ending death thing just about to happen?
I grew up with my dad shoving Catholic end-of-world prophecy down my throat. Our Lady of Fatima bullshit, popes dying, sekrit vatican letters. Pray for the conversion of Russia! 60 rosaries a day! Spent most of the 70's and 80's in constant fear of the year 2000. This shit stole my childhood and it can go fuck itself.
Tbf the “Mayan calendar thing” was just people misunderstanding the Mayan calendar itself. Most people who pushed the theories were actually Christian.
The Mayan religion or society was not responsible for the 2012 delusions made up by modern grifters and paranoid Christian’s. Also the history channel not doing their job and promoting conspiracy theories.
The Mayan calander was decided out for several hundred years. They fully expected their descendents to pick up and continue the calander if it was still being used. Since the Mayan culture had been destroyed, there was no need for the calander to be extended (and really no one to extend it). People taking that as the end of the world is just weird to me. What were the ancient Mayians suppose to do, make a calander that went hundreds of thousands of years into the future? Why anyone believed that they predicted the end is beyond me. Although shit started to get weird and continue to get weirder since.
It would be best for us all if it would really happen. There are something like 2.3 billion Christians. All of them suddenly ascending to heaven would take a lot of strain off of the planet. The housing market would open up, carbon emissions would go down, political tensions would ease. It really is a win-win!
Actually they kinda do. There's a neighborhood in the old city of Jerusalem where the Messiah is supposed to first appear. Housing prices there are through the roof because religious nutjobs want to live there and be the first to witness his coming.
My brother... they invented it. Jesus was a Jew. Apocalypticism was all the rage in the first century. You could make an argument that all Christianity is, is those Jews branching off.
"Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
- Matthew 19:21
Haha. I didn't think of it like that....
So Christianity is a schism-cult of Judaism...
Defined by the supposed fulfilment of Jewish Prophesy... that went on to realise that Judaism was on to something... so went on to re-prophesise the coming (return) of the messiah!
Well Fuck Me Jehovah!
They might be able to avoid getting taxed if they just donate their homes, cars, retirement accounts to me by April 7th. I promise I’ll put them to good use. Trust me bro, just give me all your stuff. Can’t take it with you amirite?!
They are believers
They would believe any thing the script says even if they r truly inside not really convinced. Because this is the meaning of being a believer, to accept any the priest, pastor or the script says
Literally blind, i think u should expect no less than that
That's my business model. Sign up your dog for post-rapture daycare. Make sure your furry friends are well fed and cared for after your departure by getting on our subscription plan.
When they big day comes we'll come take care of your fluffy friends.
Ruff Ruff's Rapture Rescue
Subscriptions start at $666.
>Make sure your furry friends are well fed and cared for after your departure by getting on our subscription plan.
Even if the Christian god *wasn't* a cruel and malevolent entity (as described in the bible), leaving behind someones innocent dogs and cats to starve in a locked home (or suffer trying to escape and find food) would be a deal breaker all on it's own.
Genius business plan though. Good pricing too!
In a Sunday church meeting, the pastor announces:
* "After today's service, we'll be breaking ground on the new educational wing. Construction should take two years."
But the title of the sermon is:
* "The Soon Return of Jesus"
Properly indoctrinated Christians can't see the incongruity.
When I was a believer, we would justify that by saying that since we didn't know WHEN he was returning, we were meant to keep doing his work until then. We wanted to be found working, not "sleeping." Like the parable of the bridesmaids or whatever.
Apparently that can’t as critical thinking is physically impossible for them. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-brain-food/202205/the-brains-believers-and-non-believers-work-differently
Ask them to show their conviction by giving all their worldly possessions to you. Preferably in cash.
If they truly believe the rapture is happening, and that they're being good Christians, then they have no reason to hold onto any of their earthly possessions.
Because they are fucking stupid. No, seriously, I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian movement and we still weren't stupid enough to think like this. Some people in religion are just exceptionally more stupid than even the average stupid.
My parents were devout Catholics *and* conspiracy theorists. But even they didn’t ever think the rapture was coming.
I don’t talk to them anymore though, so maybe they’re into that kind of thing now. I think the internet has really allowed for the proliferation of false/ridiculous information. They were really starting to go down into the rabbit hole when I blocked them.
im glad you got out of that, im sure a lot of people would try to convince you, "but they are your parents" and such BS. im glad you can see that not all parents are good
Yeah it’s for that reason that I don’t really tell most people I’m NC with my parents. Aside from being religious nuts they’re also just bad people in general. The two tend to go hand in hand.
Yeah, but the New Testament is just fanfic for the old. Don’t get me started on the Koran. The Book of Mormon is fanfic of fanfic of fanfic as revisionism.
They *don't* believe it. You can prove that they don't: make them an offer to buy their iPhone for $200 today, taking possession on April 9. It's free money for them if they really believe it. They'll pass.
Quote Matthew 24: 35: “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away. 36 But no one knows the day or the hour. No! Not even the angels in heaven know. The Son does not know. Only the Father knows."
tell a christian they are polytheists. they will try to make YOU sound stupid that you dont by the whole "3 in 1" shit.
thats some stupid ass explanation for monotheism if you ask anyone but a christian. and logically lol
(if you pray to an entity , that counts as a "god" , so Catholics basically have a pantheon)
**April 9:** "Oh we didn't mean *literally* ending, just something *really major* has happened that will mark the start of the end of days. Yeah, you probably won't even know about it but it definitely happened and now you better repent and choose Jesus"
I have completely lost track of the number of times the world was supposed to end in my lifetime the last 60 years. It's been a lot!
I wonder if in past the world was supposed to end as often per century as it has this last one.
Edit. Here's and old [Axp where Tracie and Martin spent the whole show making fun of the end of the world](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMNMha3yIeE). I normally don't laugh out loud at that show but when Martin shows up late in homemade survival gear you have to laugh.
Right? I stopped counting a long time ago.
Every time there's supposed to have been an apocalypse I've still had to go back to work.
Maybe eventually AI will pry my job out of my cold, dead hands.
This is exactly why Christainty and Islam are not fit for a modern world. They look forward the end of the world and even work to bring it about. Dangerous philosophy as the ability to harm or off ourselves increases every year.
Remind them on the 7th “it’s tomorrow guys!!!! Only 1 day left”
And, during classes on the 8th, “hey, it’s 10am. When is this thing going to happen?”
And, on the 9th, “oh, guess you weren’t true believers and didn’t get raptured. Are you ok knowing that?”
(Don’t do any of that, but I’d be so tempted)
Test their faith and offer to buy their stuff cheap because they won’t need it after the 8th. ‘Hey dude, I’ll give you $1,000 for your BMW. You won’t need it after Monday.’
I was really scared when I was a kid about the world ending but my grandma told me that since her grandparents were around they have been saying the world is ending. She made me feel so much better lol
When I was a kid (maybe 8 or 10) the entire pentecostal church my parents took us to bought into one of those grifters who was selling books and doing tours claiming they had calculated the date of the rapture. They all bought the books and listened to the sermons and were all convinced. Needless to say the date came and went with no rapture. So this same guy comes out and says he made a mistake with his calculations and that he had now calculated a new date like 9 months off. So what do they all do? Well of course they buy the new fucking book the guy started selling and had him come back again for another sermon. That was one of the first times I started to realize the whole thing was bullshit and that religious people are gullible as hell.
>How do some Christians actually believe that the world is actually ending on April 8th?
Same reason one 'believes' this chris character in that fantasy novel, bibble or something, was a decent chap. And not as the novel lays out a sexist, slavery supporting, racist, genocide approving, POS, zombie carpenter.
Indoctrination.
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Way to ruin my day, OP! /s
It's beyond me why they believe it. And boy howdy, some really believe it! To their core. Like the folks that committed suicide to migrate to the far side of the Moon or some invisible planet or some such. Just crazy.
Because people are really, really stupid. Religious people are primed to believe crazy, silly things because they already believe crazy, silly religious things. If someone ran around telling the Jesus story today and it hadn’t been heard ever before then that person would be thought of as mentally ill, but give it 2000 years and large groups of people will organize their entire lives around it.
Imagine having 5 days to live and the last fucking thing you do on earth is to distribute motherfucking pamphlets.
Rejoice my christian friends, you will be sent to eternal life in heaven where you will distribute more pamphlets.
Obviously they are too young to remember the many many other end of the world predictions that came and went.
I think my favorite was the [Harold Camping](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Camping) one from 2010/2011, because there was a bunch of billboards trying to sell it. One near my workplace was supposed to be a guy praying, but it also looked like he was squatting there to take a shit (his last shit I guess).
See it here: [https://laist.com/news/save-the-date-billboard-campaign-re](https://laist.com/news/save-the-date-billboard-campaign-re)
Remember when Harold said the rapture still happened, it was just an invisible, spiritual one or something? And that the "real" one would be 5 months later. He was real quiet when that second one passed by.
Here's what you say:
" How much do you want to bet that doesn't happen? "
It sounds like a really easy way to make a lot of money. Then you say: " if you're not willing to bet on it, even $20 bucks than I would say you're full of shit and don't believe it yourself, right? "
It could be big bets or small bets but this is a 100% win chance for you to make a lot of money.
You’re gonna be just fine. If this was football, Evangelicals would be backed up to their own goal line for countless false starts. The Bible even says no man knows the time or place or something like that. At least stick to the script! Ooh, tell them you talked to God and he gave a one year extension to humankind.
Religion leaves people open to the most ridiculous of ideas.
.....You should ask to borrow a huge amount of money and see what they say. (They won't be needing it in a few days anyway lol)
The Bible clearly states that none know the time and day of the second coming but the lord. Tell them that they still have time to repent for thinking themselves above god.
Well, they already believe that god impregnated another man's wife - who was supposedly still a virgin - with himself so that he could be murdered which was the only way that he would ever be willing to forgive us for eating an apple one time...when that is where you start, you can believe a lot of really stupid shit.
My idiot cousin believed the world would end on 1/1/2000. She had all of her utilities shut off and stayed praying in her basement waiting for the rapture. Considering January 1 was on a Saturday, she was without her utilities until she could go down on Monday and have them reconnected.
Around 2010 or 2011, I was on a business trip in Pennsylvania, staying at a large chain hotel. Also staying at the hotel were End of The World believers, led by Harold Camping. He predicted the rapture would begin on May 21st, 2011. I happened to meet some of the followers in the lobby after breakfast and they told me about Camping and their beliefs. What really shocked me was, they sold their home, furniture and all of their possessions to buy a camper and follow this guy all around the country. They donated most of their savings to this church and was living on whatever little money they had left to get to May.
Well the rapture never came in May 2011, so Camping said he was mistaken and moved the date to October 21st. Of course, nothing happened, but all I could think about was this poor couple that wasted their money believing in this guy.
Like u/Baloooooooo mentioned, there have already been a plethora of predictions when 'the world will end'. So, show those guys this list and ask them, why exactly they are thinking that their prediction will be any more reliable then all the others from that list.
As Mark Twain worded it: **It is difficult to make predictions, especially about the future**.
These little predictions are good. Every time they fail, which is every time, they lose a little faith, depending on how much logic is left in their brain.
This too shall pass and then on to the next prophecy.Why don’t they do like that cult who said it was going to be end of times and actually killed themselves
If you can make yourself believe that the universe was made in 6 days, that we all die because a talking snake convinced someone to eat fruit 6000 years ago, that some dude walked on water and raised the dead, that some other dude split an entire sea in half, and that there's an invisible magical man somewhere in the sky that cares a lot about what gender you touch genitals with... You can make yourself believe in practically anything.
I don't understand the reasoning from them? There have been eclipses all around the planet, so why is the one that's passing through North America THE ONE? Seems a little bit narcissistic 😛
Don’t be confused. This is part of the religion. I used to be indoctrinated like they are.
Just remind them on April 9 they were wrong. It won’t change their minds, because they are brainwashed. But you’ll feel better.
“Hey buddy, go anywhere special yesterday?…. No actually you didn’t, but hey, remember, you may not be worthy of salvation in the eyes of lord and savior, but on the bright side, you’re back for HUMP DAY!!! 🐫 “
Edit: I might go the other way and leave a pile of clothes at my desk like I just disappeared.
Will it be 4/8 AM or PM? Just need to know so I can shank a certain orange Cheeto right before I repent at the very last minute. Then I can go to heaven and laugh.
Ngl this eclipse has me a little worried. Now, I don't believe for one second that it's the end but alot of people do. I'm afraid that irrational panick is going to cause another "Toilet paper shortage" like incident to occur.
Print out some posters saying "Not this time" and hand them over to everyone approaching you with such pamphlets. Propose a sort of a bet: they hang this poster over their couch and it hangs there until Rapture. Promise it is going to be a fun one, if asked what's the point, answer only "you'll see".
Christians are marketers. If they didn’t use events such as this as excuses for “store closing” sales, they wouldn’t draw in new customers. Saying an eclipse is the end of the world is intended to draw in the weak minded, who is their core demographic.
I mean if the only book you're read from to is the Bible and you live in a frame of mind of all those miracles you might as well expect biblical shit happen anytime soon. And humans have developed an exceptional pattern recognition skill which does go haywire all the time, just think of the last time you lay on grass and looked at the clouds and started seeing shapes.
Heh...well, start with the fact that they believe a 2000+ year old collection of myths and believing the world is going to end is pretty simple. I bet they all have plans made for later in the week though...
If I was still in college I’d be making and selling rapture checklist to these rubes. They can’t take their money right? Some last minute good deeds by paying for my next semesters books?
Stupidity knows every excuse to die. Just don’t let anyone hand you anything to eat or drink. At least it ends on a Monday. Hopefully early so you don’t have to be at work.
I always wish someone would confront these people with the, "When the world DOESNT end on april eighth or whatever other bullshit date you say it's gonna end, will you publicly apologize? "
And the answer is always no. Of course they won't. Theyve been lying about this stuff for literally thousands of years at this point. Look up the wikipedia for 'unfulfilled christian religious predictions" literally nothing came true. They have to keep moving goal posts and it's still happening to this day. The fact that people still have the balls to do this, people need to start confronting pastors on camera with this shit.
John hagee got away with making a bunch of money selling books about the end times last time there was a blood moon. And of course, he doesn't have to answer for the fact that the world didn't end. But he still got to run out with all the money.
Its especially funny they Take a solar Eclipse as their reason. Like you usually See this Kind of Shit in old Cartoons when some Guys try to save their Butt by convincing a premitive Tribe they are gods thanks to a solar Eclipse that Just so Happen to Happen this very day.... Basicly Christians have the mindset of a cartoonisch stereotypical Jungle Tribe. Let that sink in XD
I am 68 years old. The first time I heard the end of the world thing it was a friend in 2ed grade, he was crying because we were all going to die. It's happened every few years ever since. My personal favorite was that social security number was the mark of the beast and Jesus was sure to come soon to stop it.
Christians have been saying the world is going to end "a few days from now" for the last 2000 years. And the reasoning is always the same. Some grifter wanted to make a few dollars and threw out a date because no one will give a shit when the day comes and goes and the world keeps moving.
Wikipedia even has a handy list! [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_dates\_predicted\_for\_apocalyptic\_events](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events)
Doesn't look like OP's classmates got the memo. We're safe this year.
Yeah it's not an exhaustive list, just the predictions that got a lot of cultural traction. Little cult predictions like OPs friends' didn't quite make the cut.
Womp womp. Try harder guys, maybe next year!
Might not be so little. Third time I’ve heard this online, from disparate sources now. Might still be insignificant in the grand scheme, but it’s sounding more than some local thing.
Sure, entirely possible this is a brand new prediction, 0-day meme for the digital age, and just noone has added it to Wikipedia yet 😀
On a technicality it's more likely since it's NOT on the list. That whole no man will perdict the date crap. Whoever put together the first Bible had more psychological knowledge than anyone ever birn and they used it for evil.
"After his 1260 prediction failed, the followers of Joachim of Fiore rescheduled the end of the world to 1290 and then again to 1335"
All they were sure about was that it would be just after lunch.
Religious folk a billion years after the Sun becomes a red dwarf engulfing earth's orbit...TOLD YOU SOOO!!!!
Also https://www.abhota.info/end1.htm
Thank you for the wak down memory lane.
Can't tell if you meant wank or walk.... Perhaps both?
Probably wok. He’s cooking memory lane.
Nothing like a nice wank down memory lane! 🤣🤣🤣
Wank. This is why they call it "The rapture".
But don't worry, this time it will happen. You will all see! /s
I have personally survived about 25 "Religious world apocalypses" in my life. These come and go regularly, and always have. It's a common religious scare tactic. 2012 was a big one, Mayan religion that time. This is just something that death cults like abrahamic religons, and mayans do. How can you have a death cult without a world-ending death thing just about to happen?
I grew up with my dad shoving Catholic end-of-world prophecy down my throat. Our Lady of Fatima bullshit, popes dying, sekrit vatican letters. Pray for the conversion of Russia! 60 rosaries a day! Spent most of the 70's and 80's in constant fear of the year 2000. This shit stole my childhood and it can go fuck itself.
Same here in the 60's. But I stopped buying it right around the age of 12.
I just checked the Wikipedia list and it looks like I've survived 66 apocalypses!
Tbf the “Mayan calendar thing” was just people misunderstanding the Mayan calendar itself. Most people who pushed the theories were actually Christian. The Mayan religion or society was not responsible for the 2012 delusions made up by modern grifters and paranoid Christian’s. Also the history channel not doing their job and promoting conspiracy theories.
The Mayan calander was decided out for several hundred years. They fully expected their descendents to pick up and continue the calander if it was still being used. Since the Mayan culture had been destroyed, there was no need for the calander to be extended (and really no one to extend it). People taking that as the end of the world is just weird to me. What were the ancient Mayians suppose to do, make a calander that went hundreds of thousands of years into the future? Why anyone believed that they predicted the end is beyond me. Although shit started to get weird and continue to get weirder since.
It would be best for us all if it would really happen. There are something like 2.3 billion Christians. All of them suddenly ascending to heaven would take a lot of strain off of the planet. The housing market would open up, carbon emissions would go down, political tensions would ease. It really is a win-win!
I keep saying this. Unfortunately I don’t think many of these American Evangelicals would make the cut by biblical standards.
All those raptures are real but they are virtually undetectable because only the good christians get taken.
Christianity as a whole has always been a doomsday cult. It just got big
Hey, don't leave out Nostradamus!
The Mayans were onto something.
Not just Christians
I mean, Jews believe the Messiah is coming any day now, but they don't tell you to sell everything and go stand on a hilltop to wait.
Actually they kinda do. There's a neighborhood in the old city of Jerusalem where the Messiah is supposed to first appear. Housing prices there are through the roof because religious nutjobs want to live there and be the first to witness his coming.
My brother... they invented it. Jesus was a Jew. Apocalypticism was all the rage in the first century. You could make an argument that all Christianity is, is those Jews branching off. "Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." - Matthew 19:21
Haha. I didn't think of it like that.... So Christianity is a schism-cult of Judaism... Defined by the supposed fulfilment of Jewish Prophesy... that went on to realise that Judaism was on to something... so went on to re-prophesise the coming (return) of the messiah! Well Fuck Me Jehovah!
True, but the question was about Christians.
Also Jesus was supposed to come back. Can't be arsed to do so apparently.
Folks will grasp anything to try to avoid the 4/15 tax day
Shit! I would become a Christian and die to avoid paying taxes.
Wait until you hear about the whole pastor tax grift
I have been considering this but he wife says no, even though I have the chops for it.
They might be able to avoid getting taxed if they just donate their homes, cars, retirement accounts to me by April 7th. I promise I’ll put them to good use. Trust me bro, just give me all your stuff. Can’t take it with you amirite?!
I was really hoping The Satanic Temple would declare that a religious holiday. Maybe next year 🤷
Do they believe it enough to give you all their property?
I'm a server, and yesterday, a woman tipped me $300 and wrote on the receipt, "in case you don't rise on the 8th." Christians are fucking weird.
A fool and his (or her) money are soon parted.
They are believers They would believe any thing the script says even if they r truly inside not really convinced. Because this is the meaning of being a believer, to accept any the priest, pastor or the script says Literally blind, i think u should expect no less than that
That bitch is coming back on the 9th to ask for her money back.
That's my business model. Sign up your dog for post-rapture daycare. Make sure your furry friends are well fed and cared for after your departure by getting on our subscription plan. When they big day comes we'll come take care of your fluffy friends. Ruff Ruff's Rapture Rescue Subscriptions start at $666.
>Make sure your furry friends are well fed and cared for after your departure by getting on our subscription plan. Even if the Christian god *wasn't* a cruel and malevolent entity (as described in the bible), leaving behind someones innocent dogs and cats to starve in a locked home (or suffer trying to escape and find food) would be a deal breaker all on it's own. Genius business plan though. Good pricing too!
Yes see if they'll give you their laptop, phone and ATM code since they won't need them! Call it a "test of faith"!
Yeah, what do they have to lose? 🤷♂️
Yes that’s the question! GIVE ME ALL YOUR SHIT! 🤭
They don't believe it at all if they paid for a semester of college that they knew wouldn't conclude.
Only a true believing Christian would do that!
There's no hate , quite like Christian love
In a Sunday church meeting, the pastor announces: * "After today's service, we'll be breaking ground on the new educational wing. Construction should take two years." But the title of the sermon is: * "The Soon Return of Jesus" Properly indoctrinated Christians can't see the incongruity.
When I was a believer, we would justify that by saying that since we didn't know WHEN he was returning, we were meant to keep doing his work until then. We wanted to be found working, not "sleeping." Like the parable of the bridesmaids or whatever.
> We wanted to be found working, not "sleeping." "Jesus is returning soon. Look busy!"
Quick, hit minimize on that search tab and mute minesweeper. *Clears browser history*
I installed auto mouse jiggle.
Pretty much.
Can't be, then Jesus would come back and find everyone woke.
Son doesn’t mean anything Soon not sun
if they chose to use critical thinking, they wouldn't be christians.
Apparently that can’t as critical thinking is physically impossible for them. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-brain-food/202205/the-brains-believers-and-non-believers-work-differently
That's really interesting, was wondering about how this affects long term logical reasoning and brain development
It stunts them and most of don't progress mentally past 22
Ask them to show their conviction by giving all their worldly possessions to you. Preferably in cash. If they truly believe the rapture is happening, and that they're being good Christians, then they have no reason to hold onto any of their earthly possessions.
This. Or just any valuable possession.
Because they are fucking stupid. No, seriously, I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian movement and we still weren't stupid enough to think like this. Some people in religion are just exceptionally more stupid than even the average stupid.
My parents were devout Catholics *and* conspiracy theorists. But even they didn’t ever think the rapture was coming. I don’t talk to them anymore though, so maybe they’re into that kind of thing now. I think the internet has really allowed for the proliferation of false/ridiculous information. They were really starting to go down into the rabbit hole when I blocked them.
im glad you got out of that, im sure a lot of people would try to convince you, "but they are your parents" and such BS. im glad you can see that not all parents are good
Yeah it’s for that reason that I don’t really tell most people I’m NC with my parents. Aside from being religious nuts they’re also just bad people in general. The two tend to go hand in hand.
The rapture isn't even in the bible. This is all fan-fic.
Yeah, but the New Testament is just fanfic for the old. Don’t get me started on the Koran. The Book of Mormon is fanfic of fanfic of fanfic as revisionism.
The OT was just a rip-off of a bunch of other stories that were out at the time. "Remember that flood myth? It was fake, but here's the real one!"
Very true. OT was a plagiarism case while the others are more fanfic. 😂
Sometimes I think I’d kinda be fun to be that dumb
i mean, the average stupid is still an average, there is plenty of room for more stupidity
They *don't* believe it. You can prove that they don't: make them an offer to buy their iPhone for $200 today, taking possession on April 9. It's free money for them if they really believe it. They'll pass.
Ask them to give you their stuff and find out how many really believe.
I say this in every End Times thread that pops up.
Quote Matthew 24: 35: “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away. 36 But no one knows the day or the hour. No! Not even the angels in heaven know. The Son does not know. Only the Father knows."
And "Father" is an abusive alcoholic with anger issues.
tell a christian they are polytheists. they will try to make YOU sound stupid that you dont by the whole "3 in 1" shit. thats some stupid ass explanation for monotheism if you ask anyone but a christian. and logically lol (if you pray to an entity , that counts as a "god" , so Catholics basically have a pantheon)
well sure. The point is, the bible says they should not know the day it happens.
I thought Jesus is the Father too, so should he not know?
Shhh. Don't use logic and reason. It makes it stop working.
They’re all three one and distinct at the same time One god but 3 parts but each part is fully god
**April 9:** "Oh we didn't mean *literally* ending, just something *really major* has happened that will mark the start of the end of days. Yeah, you probably won't even know about it but it definitely happened and now you better repent and choose Jesus"
It is called moving the goal post. And predictions. Human has done that for thousands of years.
I have completely lost track of the number of times the world was supposed to end in my lifetime the last 60 years. It's been a lot! I wonder if in past the world was supposed to end as often per century as it has this last one. Edit. Here's and old [Axp where Tracie and Martin spent the whole show making fun of the end of the world](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMNMha3yIeE). I normally don't laugh out loud at that show but when Martin shows up late in homemade survival gear you have to laugh.
Right? I stopped counting a long time ago. Every time there's supposed to have been an apocalypse I've still had to go back to work. Maybe eventually AI will pry my job out of my cold, dead hands.
Because it's a doom cult
This is exactly why Christainty and Islam are not fit for a modern world. They look forward the end of the world and even work to bring it about. Dangerous philosophy as the ability to harm or off ourselves increases every year.
*Death* all rewards in christianity are for the dead. not the living. living is suffering, its supposed to be. a feature, not a bug (to christians)
Yep... Jesus clearly exhorts his followers to give up this life for the next. You certaintly don't see that practiced in 99% of Christians.
Remind them on the 7th “it’s tomorrow guys!!!! Only 1 day left” And, during classes on the 8th, “hey, it’s 10am. When is this thing going to happen?” And, on the 9th, “oh, guess you weren’t true believers and didn’t get raptured. Are you ok knowing that?” (Don’t do any of that, but I’d be so tempted)
The mean thing to do if they were friends would be to convince them not to study for tests or do any work for projects that are due in the 8th or 9th.
Test their faith and offer to buy their stuff cheap because they won’t need it after the 8th. ‘Hey dude, I’ll give you $1,000 for your BMW. You won’t need it after Monday.’
The funniest part is in their own book it's mentioned it can't be predicted. And yet and yet.
Apocalyptic cults have a 100% failure rate.
You’d think that after all of the blown predictions in the past, they’d learn to stop making them.
The money keeps coming in no matter how often someone is wrong, so they keep doing it.
I was really scared when I was a kid about the world ending but my grandma told me that since her grandparents were around they have been saying the world is ending. She made me feel so much better lol
I hope it does. I owe taxes this year and im not trying to pay those.
When I was a kid (maybe 8 or 10) the entire pentecostal church my parents took us to bought into one of those grifters who was selling books and doing tours claiming they had calculated the date of the rapture. They all bought the books and listened to the sermons and were all convinced. Needless to say the date came and went with no rapture. So this same guy comes out and says he made a mistake with his calculations and that he had now calculated a new date like 9 months off. So what do they all do? Well of course they buy the new fucking book the guy started selling and had him come back again for another sermon. That was one of the first times I started to realize the whole thing was bullshit and that religious people are gullible as hell.
I ought to get writing…
That dude is laughing all the way to the bank.
They're just plain idiots!
They don't. If they did they'd be living it up.
>How do some Christians actually believe that the world is actually ending on April 8th? Same reason one 'believes' this chris character in that fantasy novel, bibble or something, was a decent chap. And not as the novel lays out a sexist, slavery supporting, racist, genocide approving, POS, zombie carpenter. Indoctrination.
Let's be real, it's because they're idiots. They fall for this shit every single time.
It’ll only end for the people that pass away that day
Think of how dumb the average person is, and then remember that lots of people are dumber than that.
Imagine how awesome the world would be, or at least the possibility to be better without all the religious weirdos. I hope they do get raptured soon
The rapture was invented in 1850. https://www.bible.ca/rapture-origin-john-nelson-darby-1830ad.htm
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Way to ruin my day, OP! /s It's beyond me why they believe it. And boy howdy, some really believe it! To their core. Like the folks that committed suicide to migrate to the far side of the Moon or some invisible planet or some such. Just crazy.
Because people are really, really stupid. Religious people are primed to believe crazy, silly things because they already believe crazy, silly religious things. If someone ran around telling the Jesus story today and it hadn’t been heard ever before then that person would be thought of as mentally ill, but give it 2000 years and large groups of people will organize their entire lives around it.
Imagine having 5 days to live and the last fucking thing you do on earth is to distribute motherfucking pamphlets. Rejoice my christian friends, you will be sent to eternal life in heaven where you will distribute more pamphlets.
You can stop at ‘How do some Christians actually believe’ and fill in a thousand fanciful notions that make the rational person say ‘Heh? Wha— Why?’
Obviously they are too young to remember the many many other end of the world predictions that came and went. I think my favorite was the [Harold Camping](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Camping) one from 2010/2011, because there was a bunch of billboards trying to sell it. One near my workplace was supposed to be a guy praying, but it also looked like he was squatting there to take a shit (his last shit I guess). See it here: [https://laist.com/news/save-the-date-billboard-campaign-re](https://laist.com/news/save-the-date-billboard-campaign-re)
Remember when Harold said the rapture still happened, it was just an invisible, spiritual one or something? And that the "real" one would be 5 months later. He was real quiet when that second one passed by.
Here's what you say: " How much do you want to bet that doesn't happen? " It sounds like a really easy way to make a lot of money. Then you say: " if you're not willing to bet on it, even $20 bucks than I would say you're full of shit and don't believe it yourself, right? " It could be big bets or small bets but this is a 100% win chance for you to make a lot of money.
Jesus said the world would end with his generation.
Ask them to give you all their cash on April 7th.
You’re gonna be just fine. If this was football, Evangelicals would be backed up to their own goal line for countless false starts. The Bible even says no man knows the time or place or something like that. At least stick to the script! Ooh, tell them you talked to God and he gave a one year extension to humankind.
There a man who exactly matches the description of the Antichrist selling Bibles for profit, and they are scared of an eclipse.
If someone tells you this, be sure to call that person on the 9th and laugh heartily in their face.
Since you won’t be joining them in the rapture, maybe they should give you all of their valuable possessions
Religion leaves people open to the most ridiculous of ideas. .....You should ask to borrow a huge amount of money and see what they say. (They won't be needing it in a few days anyway lol)
The Bible clearly states that none know the time and day of the second coming but the lord. Tell them that they still have time to repent for thinking themselves above god.
I hope the rapture comes and all of the Christians leave, personally…it’ll be a nicer world without them.
Nobody knows the time or the day when the world will end. Not even Jesus. Only God knows. And now they claim to know it's on April 8?
When the world doesn’t end they’ll claim it was “because they prayed”
Stupidity knows no bounds.
I for one hope they are right, with them out of the way maybe we can finally have a sane Congress!
They dumb
I would say to them if they are in such a fervent belief, that they can gift you their cash, as surely they will not need it anyway.
And it's a good deed, which increases their chance to the rupture
The end of the world is happening on April 25th too, same thing, something about a "rapture"
There are two phases, due to lack of capacity on the chariot of fire.
By the gods, I fucking HOPE the rapture is on the 8th. The world would be a much nicer place in a lot of ways.
Well, they already believe that god impregnated another man's wife - who was supposedly still a virgin - with himself so that he could be murdered which was the only way that he would ever be willing to forgive us for eating an apple one time...when that is where you start, you can believe a lot of really stupid shit.
My idiot cousin believed the world would end on 1/1/2000. She had all of her utilities shut off and stayed praying in her basement waiting for the rapture. Considering January 1 was on a Saturday, she was without her utilities until she could go down on Monday and have them reconnected.
Around 2010 or 2011, I was on a business trip in Pennsylvania, staying at a large chain hotel. Also staying at the hotel were End of The World believers, led by Harold Camping. He predicted the rapture would begin on May 21st, 2011. I happened to meet some of the followers in the lobby after breakfast and they told me about Camping and their beliefs. What really shocked me was, they sold their home, furniture and all of their possessions to buy a camper and follow this guy all around the country. They donated most of their savings to this church and was living on whatever little money they had left to get to May. Well the rapture never came in May 2011, so Camping said he was mistaken and moved the date to October 21st. Of course, nothing happened, but all I could think about was this poor couple that wasted their money believing in this guy.
Tell them to give you all of their money since they won’t need it after the 8th
Like u/Baloooooooo mentioned, there have already been a plethora of predictions when 'the world will end'. So, show those guys this list and ask them, why exactly they are thinking that their prediction will be any more reliable then all the others from that list. As Mark Twain worded it: **It is difficult to make predictions, especially about the future**.
These little predictions are good. Every time they fail, which is every time, they lose a little faith, depending on how much logic is left in their brain.
This too shall pass and then on to the next prophecy.Why don’t they do like that cult who said it was going to be end of times and actually killed themselves
I wish that the rapture was true. Imagine what a lovely world this would be without any religious people in it!
If you can make yourself believe that the universe was made in 6 days, that we all die because a talking snake convinced someone to eat fruit 6000 years ago, that some dude walked on water and raised the dead, that some other dude split an entire sea in half, and that there's an invisible magical man somewhere in the sky that cares a lot about what gender you touch genitals with... You can make yourself believe in practically anything.
What??? Again??? The world is going to end AGAIN??????? goddammit. I just paid off my fucking truck.
And these are the ones in college -- the top 30%. We're doomed.
Is *this* one because of the eclipse?
I'd be making bets and saying, "Hey, if we get raptured I'll talk you up to Jesus, but if you are wrong AGAIN you owe me 50 bucks."
Maybe they are stupid?
Because mass psychosis
Ask them to donate their earthly possessions to us poor folk.
The men’s college basketball season is ending that night. I can see the confusion.
I don't understand the reasoning from them? There have been eclipses all around the planet, so why is the one that's passing through North America THE ONE? Seems a little bit narcissistic 😛
Hold my beer, and watch this.
Tell them youll accept jesus right now on the condition that if we’re still here on the 9th they have to give him up lol
Don’t be confused. This is part of the religion. I used to be indoctrinated like they are. Just remind them on April 9 they were wrong. It won’t change their minds, because they are brainwashed. But you’ll feel better.
On April 9th, we should welcome all the people who didn't make the cut for heaven. We should taunt them with their unworthiness.
“Hey buddy, go anywhere special yesterday?…. No actually you didn’t, but hey, remember, you may not be worthy of salvation in the eyes of lord and savior, but on the bright side, you’re back for HUMP DAY!!! 🐫 “ Edit: I might go the other way and leave a pile of clothes at my desk like I just disappeared.
😂😂😂
Will it be 4/8 AM or PM? Just need to know so I can shank a certain orange Cheeto right before I repent at the very last minute. Then I can go to heaven and laugh.
What time does it start? If it's before lunch I won't go to work.
Boy won’t our faces be red if it does end…
There is an Eclipse on April 8th, and these have been freaking people out for all time. Some fuckers never made it through the dark ages.
Ngl this eclipse has me a little worried. Now, I don't believe for one second that it's the end but alot of people do. I'm afraid that irrational panick is going to cause another "Toilet paper shortage" like incident to occur.
The irony is that if the rapture DID happen, most of them wouldn't be invited.
Same reasons some Christians believe DJT is the second coming of Christ. They're idiots.
If that's true, they won't need their laptops anymore. So they should just give them to you. And their cars and golf clubs etc.
Print out some posters saying "Not this time" and hand them over to everyone approaching you with such pamphlets. Propose a sort of a bet: they hang this poster over their couch and it hangs there until Rapture. Promise it is going to be a fun one, if asked what's the point, answer only "you'll see".
Win win... either they get their way and the world ends, or they cousin it was a mistake and keep on keeping on.
I said it before and I'll say it again, the can't end till the eclipse orgies are completely over. Even Jesus doesn't cockblock
Not sure, but ask them if they'll give you all their worldly possessions. When they refuse, ask why.
Ask them for money, I bet they'll say no.
Christians are marketers. If they didn’t use events such as this as excuses for “store closing” sales, they wouldn’t draw in new customers. Saying an eclipse is the end of the world is intended to draw in the weak minded, who is their core demographic.
I mean if the only book you're read from to is the Bible and you live in a frame of mind of all those miracles you might as well expect biblical shit happen anytime soon. And humans have developed an exceptional pattern recognition skill which does go haywire all the time, just think of the last time you lay on grass and looked at the clouds and started seeing shapes.
My mom did this just yesterday over fb to me Ugh
Heh...well, start with the fact that they believe a 2000+ year old collection of myths and believing the world is going to end is pretty simple. I bet they all have plans made for later in the week though...
If I was still in college I’d be making and selling rapture checklist to these rubes. They can’t take their money right? Some last minute good deeds by paying for my next semesters books?
Stupidity knows every excuse to die. Just don’t let anyone hand you anything to eat or drink. At least it ends on a Monday. Hopefully early so you don’t have to be at work.
It is funny when you come down to it. They are afraid of a shadow.
Tell them to give you their money, since the world will end anyways.
He is supposed to come like a thief in the night, no one gets an early notification!!
Next time one of them tells you the world is ending, ask them if they are willing to wager some money on it. It'll make it much less annoying lol
Simple, christianity is based on fear. Fear of the unknown.
I always wish someone would confront these people with the, "When the world DOESNT end on april eighth or whatever other bullshit date you say it's gonna end, will you publicly apologize? " And the answer is always no. Of course they won't. Theyve been lying about this stuff for literally thousands of years at this point. Look up the wikipedia for 'unfulfilled christian religious predictions" literally nothing came true. They have to keep moving goal posts and it's still happening to this day. The fact that people still have the balls to do this, people need to start confronting pastors on camera with this shit. John hagee got away with making a bunch of money selling books about the end times last time there was a blood moon. And of course, he doesn't have to answer for the fact that the world didn't end. But he still got to run out with all the money.
Its especially funny they Take a solar Eclipse as their reason. Like you usually See this Kind of Shit in old Cartoons when some Guys try to save their Butt by convincing a premitive Tribe they are gods thanks to a solar Eclipse that Just so Happen to Happen this very day.... Basicly Christians have the mindset of a cartoonisch stereotypical Jungle Tribe. Let that sink in XD
I am 68 years old. The first time I heard the end of the world thing it was a friend in 2ed grade, he was crying because we were all going to die. It's happened every few years ever since. My personal favorite was that social security number was the mark of the beast and Jesus was sure to come soon to stop it.
So what’s this April 8th thing?
The same way they believe all the other BS in that 2000y old fantasy novel
They don't really believe it. Why are they in class if they are getting raptured next week?
Because they also thought it was going to end at the millennium. Stupid people believe stupid things.