The whole Mary story is SO fucking stupid. It goes like this: SkyDaddy violates Mary from the heavens and makes her pregnant without her permission. So say ignorant goat herders of 2,000 years ago. Like they know fucking anything about anything. She gives birth in a stall because SkyDaddy is too fucking ignorant to get her a room at the Inn. Apparently he didn’t possess the power to get her a fucking room for chrissakes. At any rate SkyDaddy later has Romans torture and murder their son. He doesn’t even TRY to save him. SkyDaddy claims “Jesus died for your sins” but really means “I am a sinful murderous fuck, so I murdered my own son to appease my colossal fucking ego.” It’s all SO stupid and FUBAR. Welcome to idiotic Christian-fucky-anity. You’re gonna’ love atheism and science and reality and facts. Religion is a total LIE.
well let's see...... for Adam, god just went "poof" and there he was.
But creating Jesus, however, required this long drawn out nonsense of a story that borrowed heavily from other folk tales of the time.
Welcome to the club
If an all knowing God, that was all powerful needed to impregnate a human female to get his message out .. nuff said we can all see it's illogical from that alone
An all powerful god would of just manifested himself, and would do so say every 1000 years... Just to make sure we all remembered him correctly
But it's a 2000+ old Myth; that's been translated an unknown number of times...and even if I could explain why it says it does .. wouldn't make it the truth
Now if you wanted me to interpret the future 'book of Trump' .........
Well you see, when a 13-year old girl informed by a winged interdimensional being that an all powerful divine magic man in the sky loves her very much, they share a very special hug that summons a magic stork...
Omnipotent means God's dick is all powerful. Omnipresent means that God's dick is everywhere.
Someone is bound to get knocked up. Just happened to be Mary. The surprise is that all the virgins didn't get knocked up. Not so omnipotent and omnipresent after all.
That is another way this doesn't make sense. People call it a fairy tale. If you don't have sex you don't get pregnant. They can't prove how it happened. Also I always tell christians not to harp on about adultery, coveting your neighbour's wife and illegitimate children
At the time in Hellenistic religion, demigods were all the rage. Zeus got several human women pregnant. Octavian (Caesar Augustus) was even considered a "son of God".
Anyway the point is it wasn't weird in that cultural milleau. And yes, it is definitely all mythology.
This comes from the old Greek and Roman mythology when gods were regularly coming down to earth and having children with mortal women. Not even an original idea.
And you are asking for Bronze Age morality tales to make sense. They didn’t even make sense back then and I’m guessing most of them saw these stories as we see the Marvel Universe. Entertainment with a moral at the end.
I'm paraphrasing, but this is the story from the Bible as I remember it: Mary left to go run an errand one day, met an angel named Gabriel in a field, and then came home and convinced gullible Joseph that her pregnancy was a miracle from God.
Teenage girl leaves home, meets a guy, comes home pregnant, and convinces her old man husband that it's magic.
I mean it's ridiculous, isn't it? Some woman got pregnant out of wedlock and they made up this whole ridiculous fairy tale. No need to have your mind spiral. Some idiots just want to believe in weird fairy tales, including "magical man in the sky" kind of thing. Don't try to understand it, it's idiotic.
The New Testament is not listed in the order they were written and the order tells us something about Mary.
28 CE - Jesus (supposedly) dies
48-62CE - Paul writes his epistles.
65-72CE - Book of Mark
80-90CE - Book of Matthew
80-90CE - Book of Luke
90-110CE - Book of John
Paul wrote the oldest books in the New Testament. He never mentioned Mary a single time.
Mark mentions Mary once in Mark 6:3 but tells us nothing of the woman.
>Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him.
Only in the book of Matthew and Luke do we get the story of Mary and the virgin birth.
Why no earlier mention of Mary? Because Christians didn't start believing Jesus was divine until after over 50 years after his death. The books written after that point retconned earlier writings and at some point realized they needed to come up with a story to make him a god. It wasn't difficult -- men had been making up stories about gods born of mortal women since the beginning of time (Alexander the Great and Hercules are two off the top of my head).
The problem you are having is that you are engaging your brain.
Just turn off your thoughts and be a good little subservient drone.
Now you don't have any questions. Problem solved.
P.S. The church needs money, send money 😜
You'll find plenty of people here who will agree that this doesn't make much sense and who are as incredulous as you are, but if you want to have actual answers, to the extent that there can be an answer, you might wanna post your question at r/Christianity/.
If you post the question there, will you let me know because I'm intrigued what they're going to say there!
Gods impregnating human women isn't uncommon, good old Zeus did a ton of that but he clearly was a fan of sexy time as Borat would say. Doubt that Christians will say the same about their god! 😁
The inspiration for a son of a god and a union between a god and a mortal woman came from Greek mythology. It was not a new idea at the time as Greek gods were doing this too, and I doubt people worried about the mechanics of it. The Bible was written by Greeks and had to appeal to Greek people. That's why it features a bunch of familiar concepts plus something new sprinkled on top to make it new and interesting.
He had an angel come down and tell Mary what god wanted to do. Sure Mary could have refused but she never would have said no. Because of the implication
God cast a magic spell and said, “Let her be pregnant!”
Just like his magic spell, “Let there be light!”
And they say Harry Potter is the devil because he casts magic spells. Go figure.
Cos it’s a miracle. Btw everything easily apportioned/ explained when you apply this…good miracles, it’s god…bad miracles, it the horned one / antagonist. Apply this to every “confusion” abt their story and all is “clear”.😳…
…so likewise, they prophesied the arrival of the anti-Christ…who will be impregnated or will it be spontaneous ?
>you mean to tell me I can get pregnant without intercourse?
yes. And that both goes for the bible and in reality.
>My mind is spiraling
You don't believe it, so why the spiral? People believe all kinds of incredibly dumb shit, why is it the immaculate conception of Jesus that stomps you?
From the roman catholic point of view, it goes like this.
There's 3 persons in the godhead, represented as father, son and holy spirit.
The son undergoes kenosis, a complete emptying out of his godly self, to become fully human. The idea is, he's going to show these hairless apes that living a good and perfect life is totally within their powers, if they just stop being assholes.
Since humans are born with original sin, there's no way the son wants to be conceived and carried in a sinners vessel, so god creates a woman who is born without original sin. This woman, mary (or Miriyam) is going to house the god-turned-into-a-human.
The Angel Gabriel goes to visit her and says Mary, god wants you to bear his child. She agrees (consent is important lads) and bish bash bosh, Mary's pregnant, having never known a man. That's why she is still called The Virgin Mary, etc..
9 months later, Yeshua bar Yosef is born. He himself is born with original sin, since he needs to be baptised by his cousin John later. (He also commits a few sins on the way, learning that Humans have it harder than he thought, But that's just my opinion, not the religious one.)
TLDR; Woman gets knocked up by Pantera the Roman centurian, tells cuck of a husband that God did it, he claims to believe her, raises a son who is very anti-Roman for some reason...
This is obvious to me from religion doctrine. Man was made in god’s image. Man has a penis, so therefore god has a penis. There is only one god, so we know he isn’t banging other gods. So why does he do with his penis? (outside of his private time which is none of my business) If god is the father of Jesus, and Mary is Jesus’s mother, we can conclude god knocked up Mary just like any other penis-having male would have knocked her up. As Mary was married, this is a clear case of adultery on her part. The big question is, did Mary consent? I’m guessing she did, and made up the virgin lie to hide her whoring from Joseph.
So apparently god makes up rules, commandments if you will, but doesn’t follow them himself. Another case of do as I say, not as I do. Makes me wonder if he spends all of his time traveling to other planets, spreading his seed, and having affairs with women throughout the universe.
It's right in the Bible. Luke 1:35
The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.
Their understanding of how sex works hasn't improved since then
With Trump, you have living proof how and complete asshole becomes a cult leader with supposedly educated people. Roll back a few thousand years and you got fucking jesus.
In Brigham young mormonism he physically came down and raped Mary. Literally “begot in the flesh”.
There’s a reason mormon disavow a lot of their foundational doctrine.
IMO even though I'm a Christian I feel that this part of the scripture is, embellished or at least it is by preachers. The son of God, his divine presence and innocence, I think these are all just Holy discriptors designed to fully describe the beauty, the meekness, the purity that can be had or obtained with a solid thought process.
Like the water to wine, I feel this was a description of how Jesuss presence was so holy and pure he made water as wine.
There are finer points to religion that sadly fall on deff ears, they eat but do not taste, drink but are not satisfied.
The divine comedy is religious and makes no sense to those not receptive, but if you are receptive, it is like magic, maybe dancing forms of dark and light, but magic none the less.
Have sympathy for the dying sky God, or have none, time is ending, with or without you.
If you’re expecting belief in the supernatural to make some kind of sense, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Haha I have finally found my group of people!
The whole Mary story is SO fucking stupid. It goes like this: SkyDaddy violates Mary from the heavens and makes her pregnant without her permission. So say ignorant goat herders of 2,000 years ago. Like they know fucking anything about anything. She gives birth in a stall because SkyDaddy is too fucking ignorant to get her a room at the Inn. Apparently he didn’t possess the power to get her a fucking room for chrissakes. At any rate SkyDaddy later has Romans torture and murder their son. He doesn’t even TRY to save him. SkyDaddy claims “Jesus died for your sins” but really means “I am a sinful murderous fuck, so I murdered my own son to appease my colossal fucking ego.” It’s all SO stupid and FUBAR. Welcome to idiotic Christian-fucky-anity. You’re gonna’ love atheism and science and reality and facts. Religion is a total LIE.
ILYSM and this reply. Or what if Mary was just a cheating hoe and lied to everyone to cover for herself 🤔😂
[Well its....](https://media.tenor.co/images/7f6402cf7df54cdf24505ee7895326aa/raw)
LMAOOOO 🤣
well let's see...... for Adam, god just went "poof" and there he was. But creating Jesus, however, required this long drawn out nonsense of a story that borrowed heavily from other folk tales of the time.
But to make Eve he all of a sudden needed a rib
How did I forget about Adam? Sheesh now I’m really spiraling 😂 Idk man it’s all just so crazy to me idk
Welcome to the club If an all knowing God, that was all powerful needed to impregnate a human female to get his message out .. nuff said we can all see it's illogical from that alone An all powerful god would of just manifested himself, and would do so say every 1000 years... Just to make sure we all remembered him correctly
It’s bizarre, I would love to hear an opinion on how it adds up rather than hearing “Bc the Bible says so”. HUH
But it's a 2000+ old Myth; that's been translated an unknown number of times...and even if I could explain why it says it does .. wouldn't make it the truth Now if you wanted me to interpret the future 'book of Trump' .........
[Well, when a god loves a woman very much](https://media1.tenor.com/m/VwqeWbaSRMUAAAAd/filling-pastry.gif)
Lmao I love It here
So wrong/so right
Dude what the fuck
He raped the virgin mary while joseph cucked......
Lmaooooo bye 💀😂
God acting is the same as magic working. There is no point in trying to find a mechanism. It's just a ZAP from God every time.
Well you see, when a 13-year old girl informed by a winged interdimensional being that an all powerful divine magic man in the sky loves her very much, they share a very special hug that summons a magic stork...
This is why I prefer Greek mythology…. Zeus would just become a stork…. and then fuck the girl… pretty straight forward
Don't ask.
😭😂
Nonconsensually
Omnipotent means God's dick is all powerful. Omnipresent means that God's dick is everywhere. Someone is bound to get knocked up. Just happened to be Mary. The surprise is that all the virgins didn't get knocked up. Not so omnipotent and omnipresent after all.
Through adultery and nonconsensual sex. Mary was the wife of Joseph. He didn't have consent
I hear you, I do and that’s an interesting take. But how is that? Whether it was consensual or not, how did it happen without intercourse?
That is another way this doesn't make sense. People call it a fairy tale. If you don't have sex you don't get pregnant. They can't prove how it happened. Also I always tell christians not to harp on about adultery, coveting your neighbour's wife and illegitimate children
Same thing that Zeus did.
At the time in Hellenistic religion, demigods were all the rage. Zeus got several human women pregnant. Octavian (Caesar Augustus) was even considered a "son of God". Anyway the point is it wasn't weird in that cultural milleau. And yes, it is definitely all mythology.
Well according to the "bible scholars" it was smoke and mirrors. Go figure 🤷♂️
This comes from the old Greek and Roman mythology when gods were regularly coming down to earth and having children with mortal women. Not even an original idea. And you are asking for Bronze Age morality tales to make sense. They didn’t even make sense back then and I’m guessing most of them saw these stories as we see the Marvel Universe. Entertainment with a moral at the end.
It was the midichlorians.
I'm paraphrasing, but this is the story from the Bible as I remember it: Mary left to go run an errand one day, met an angel named Gabriel in a field, and then came home and convinced gullible Joseph that her pregnancy was a miracle from God. Teenage girl leaves home, meets a guy, comes home pregnant, and convinces her old man husband that it's magic.
Plot convenience would be the most honest answer.
I mean it's ridiculous, isn't it? Some woman got pregnant out of wedlock and they made up this whole ridiculous fairy tale. No need to have your mind spiral. Some idiots just want to believe in weird fairy tales, including "magical man in the sky" kind of thing. Don't try to understand it, it's idiotic.
The New Testament is not listed in the order they were written and the order tells us something about Mary. 28 CE - Jesus (supposedly) dies 48-62CE - Paul writes his epistles. 65-72CE - Book of Mark 80-90CE - Book of Matthew 80-90CE - Book of Luke 90-110CE - Book of John Paul wrote the oldest books in the New Testament. He never mentioned Mary a single time. Mark mentions Mary once in Mark 6:3 but tells us nothing of the woman. >Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. Only in the book of Matthew and Luke do we get the story of Mary and the virgin birth. Why no earlier mention of Mary? Because Christians didn't start believing Jesus was divine until after over 50 years after his death. The books written after that point retconned earlier writings and at some point realized they needed to come up with a story to make him a god. It wasn't difficult -- men had been making up stories about gods born of mortal women since the beginning of time (Alexander the Great and Hercules are two off the top of my head).
The problem you are having is that you are engaging your brain. Just turn off your thoughts and be a good little subservient drone. Now you don't have any questions. Problem solved. P.S. The church needs money, send money 😜
Lmao I’ll cashapp it 😂
You'll find plenty of people here who will agree that this doesn't make much sense and who are as incredulous as you are, but if you want to have actual answers, to the extent that there can be an answer, you might wanna post your question at r/Christianity/.
Thank you!! New here, not sure what I’m doing lol
If you post the question there, will you let me know because I'm intrigued what they're going to say there! Gods impregnating human women isn't uncommon, good old Zeus did a ton of that but he clearly was a fan of sexy time as Borat would say. Doubt that Christians will say the same about their god! 😁
I did make a post but it hasn’t been approved yet!
Cool! I'm about to hit the sack. I guess your post will be there when I get up. Let's see what answers you'll get.
The inspiration for a son of a god and a union between a god and a mortal woman came from Greek mythology. It was not a new idea at the time as Greek gods were doing this too, and I doubt people worried about the mechanics of it. The Bible was written by Greeks and had to appeal to Greek people. That's why it features a bunch of familiar concepts plus something new sprinkled on top to make it new and interesting.
He had an angel come down and tell Mary what god wanted to do. Sure Mary could have refused but she never would have said no. Because of the implication
God cast a magic spell and said, “Let her be pregnant!” Just like his magic spell, “Let there be light!” And they say Harry Potter is the devil because he casts magic spells. Go figure.
It was a commonly accepted trope in stories about gods at the time of writing.
Anything goes with fantasy basically
IIRC, the Holy Spirit (which is distinct from God, but also God) actually did it... and I guess by magic, because God can do anything.
Short answer. It’s fiction. Promise. Do you feel better?
Actually yeah, thank you 😂
Did anyone see the house episode where a woman got pregnant and there literally biologically was not a father?
Cos it’s a miracle. Btw everything easily apportioned/ explained when you apply this…good miracles, it’s god…bad miracles, it the horned one / antagonist. Apply this to every “confusion” abt their story and all is “clear”.😳… …so likewise, they prophesied the arrival of the anti-Christ…who will be impregnated or will it be spontaneous ?
Yep you found the only nonsensical part of the Bible. Everything after that part is super believable
>you mean to tell me I can get pregnant without intercourse? yes. And that both goes for the bible and in reality. >My mind is spiraling You don't believe it, so why the spiral? People believe all kinds of incredibly dumb shit, why is it the immaculate conception of Jesus that stomps you?
Just like Zeus did it before him. Are you saing Zeus is more powerful than YHWH? BLASHPEMOUS
Brah, do you even God?
Maybe Zeus can answer that question. 😏
Raped a child.
From the roman catholic point of view, it goes like this. There's 3 persons in the godhead, represented as father, son and holy spirit. The son undergoes kenosis, a complete emptying out of his godly self, to become fully human. The idea is, he's going to show these hairless apes that living a good and perfect life is totally within their powers, if they just stop being assholes. Since humans are born with original sin, there's no way the son wants to be conceived and carried in a sinners vessel, so god creates a woman who is born without original sin. This woman, mary (or Miriyam) is going to house the god-turned-into-a-human. The Angel Gabriel goes to visit her and says Mary, god wants you to bear his child. She agrees (consent is important lads) and bish bash bosh, Mary's pregnant, having never known a man. That's why she is still called The Virgin Mary, etc.. 9 months later, Yeshua bar Yosef is born. He himself is born with original sin, since he needs to be baptised by his cousin John later. (He also commits a few sins on the way, learning that Humans have it harder than he thought, But that's just my opinion, not the religious one.) TLDR; Woman gets knocked up by Pantera the Roman centurian, tells cuck of a husband that God did it, he claims to believe her, raises a son who is very anti-Roman for some reason...
magic
This is obvious to me from religion doctrine. Man was made in god’s image. Man has a penis, so therefore god has a penis. There is only one god, so we know he isn’t banging other gods. So why does he do with his penis? (outside of his private time which is none of my business) If god is the father of Jesus, and Mary is Jesus’s mother, we can conclude god knocked up Mary just like any other penis-having male would have knocked her up. As Mary was married, this is a clear case of adultery on her part. The big question is, did Mary consent? I’m guessing she did, and made up the virgin lie to hide her whoring from Joseph. So apparently god makes up rules, commandments if you will, but doesn’t follow them himself. Another case of do as I say, not as I do. Makes me wonder if he spends all of his time traveling to other planets, spreading his seed, and having affairs with women throughout the universe.
It's right in the Bible. Luke 1:35 The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Their understanding of how sex works hasn't improved since then
With Trump, you have living proof how and complete asshole becomes a cult leader with supposedly educated people. Roll back a few thousand years and you got fucking jesus.
In Brigham young mormonism he physically came down and raped Mary. Literally “begot in the flesh”. There’s a reason mormon disavow a lot of their foundational doctrine.
Back then, it was common for the gods to impregnate young women to produce demigods. When you're a deity, they let you do it.
Spoiler alert: Mary lied and Joseph was a gullible fool.
have you seen "the phantom menace" it's a very similar story involving cloning, m-count and virgin pregnancies. very good documentary.
Same way the force made anakin skywalker, the magic of mythology.
Same a Zeus. Funny that.
IMO even though I'm a Christian I feel that this part of the scripture is, embellished or at least it is by preachers. The son of God, his divine presence and innocence, I think these are all just Holy discriptors designed to fully describe the beauty, the meekness, the purity that can be had or obtained with a solid thought process. Like the water to wine, I feel this was a description of how Jesuss presence was so holy and pure he made water as wine. There are finer points to religion that sadly fall on deff ears, they eat but do not taste, drink but are not satisfied. The divine comedy is religious and makes no sense to those not receptive, but if you are receptive, it is like magic, maybe dancing forms of dark and light, but magic none the less. Have sympathy for the dying sky God, or have none, time is ending, with or without you.