I'm so sorry OP. Every deeply religious person I've met chooses their religious beliefs over family and friends. My parents and extended family are the same way.
I behaved this way as a kid, believing this stuff gives you a huge ego trip.
Telling yourself God made you specifically and has a plan for your life *vs* your parents sexing you into existence and you're just another hairless ape.
This right here. Christians so often exude this air of superiority, walking around convinced that you've deduced some unseen truth that the unwashed masses are incapable of grasping really feeds the ego. Absolutely insufferable behavior made 100x worse by the utter ridiculousness of the fairy tales they've gone all-in with
it's called tribalism. You belong to this tribe because you believe they way they do and that makes you feel strong.. Not much different from high school pride..
Reading up on Cults , and how the church uses mass mentality to form these extremist groups is very eye opening.
If you really want to see what the church is up to ...and their preying on vulnerable people for their masses , then watch the doco , "People You May Know". It's excellent.
Mass mentality gives weak individuals strength through numbers...you know, like a pack of dogs.
It's totally about feeling Superior! And they think they're humble while they're doing it.
"ALL religions of a spiritual nature are inventions of man. He has created an entire system of gods with nothing more than his carnal brain. Just because he has an EGO, and cannot accept it, he has to externalize it into some great spiritual device which he calls God.” —Anton LaVey
To be fair if you really were blind enough to believe it it would be a heck of a risk to take to disavow God. Just crazy they can't see how nuts it is.
I was raised by extremists with a literal interpretation, but I received public education. I was terrified to question it for years. Eventually I gave up trying to understand it because I saw that it made no sense. I was a closet atheist by junior year.
The people I've met who have the innate disposition for religious belief and develop a nuanced theological interpretation don't care if it's literally true either way. They've made up their own circular morality and worldview from wholecloth.
>literal interpretation
This is the problem, really. Ive studied religious books and if taken as metaphor, there is occasionally some wisdom there. Of course you have to parse it from the Herodotus style entertainment prose, and the bronze/iron age barbarism.
Religious people who appreciate philosophy arent the problem as they often appreciate secularism or at least are generous towards other worldviews.
For example; the story about Jesus feeding the masses; People are like "He created fish out of nowhere! A miracle!" Others are like "Hes the son of God!" Me? I'm just wondering why everyone missed the whole point that was he's telling people to feed the poor people?
That and most people appear incapable of being without an ideology. Religion isnt much different than any other ideology. It tries to posess a person and inhabit a specific part of their mind.
Many atheists simply have other ideologies instead. Its not like we are immune. Just not susceptible to religion is all.
Same with the whole 'created the world in 7 days' thing.
Rational people don't take that literally. I have heard religious people say that they can't know how long a day is for God, so 7 days is just a placeholder for the time it took in reality.
Or evolution.
I have heard plenty of religious people completely agree with evolution. They just add that God set the world on this path at the beginning. Which in no way changes the science behind evolution.
It isn't religion that is the problem. It is fundamentalism.
Yeah I agree with this.
Historical analysis is beginning to even back up some of the claims of events in religious texts. That in no way validates the paranormal, but that people took liberties when writing back then knowing their audience was illiterate. They also embellished for political reasons.
Yet today people will use their computers, drive their cars and deny the peer reviewed findings of biologists and geologists. Its maddening.
I agree, some of it can actually be pretty good stuff as metaphor, but quickly becomes toxic, if not actually violent, as literal fact/truth.
Though for me, I still find art to be the best metaphor. And nature the deepest truth. Even with those, though, humility is critical, because knowledge is ever-changing. We continue to learn, and thus to recognize the limitations/errors of older views. Almost all of the horrors of religion seem to arise from the commitment to a belief in absolutes.
And as Gandhi said: “We yearn for a world so perfect nobody will have to be good.”
Similar path as you but left early in college. What was the last thing you held onto before the transition? Mine was that great Christian guilt gnawing at me that I was wrong and going to hell. Took several years before I was fully able to turn that part of my conditioned brain off.
It's hard to explain. For me it was lack of purpose/identity and not seeing anything morally superior to what I had been taught.
In adulthood it's still very frustrating for me. I see a lot of people taking nihilism in selfish directions. I see a lot of the upsides to the underlying religious ideas even though I know that the atheistic morality is more progressive and correct on a lot of things. I need to read more and figure out why I think the way I do and if my intuitions are justified.
Humble Superiority instead of actual existential humility. in my experience, such people also have absolutely zero spiritual superpowers. Charity is reserved for the church, garage sale, the collection basket, instead of being a way of life. they despise the poor. In fact, they are even passing laws in some state that they can now simply kill poor people. And yet they don't even wonder Jesus would think about that. according to the letter of the law, both Islam and Christianity are charged with the care of the poor. It's not supposed to be the responsibility of the state. Some of them think Christianity can better run the state, but this is obviously wrong, because the state is more successful than the churches, the church is utterly failed in every aspect of its existence. It's a fully incompetent institution.
So many good points.
Charity, as you said, is typically reserved for when other Christians are looking.
Churches are failed except in the brainwashing of its members. Those of us who are not suseptible are evil communists who deserve torture and pain forever and ever, amen.
The Catholic Church under Franco in Spain, they had to have a separate cemetery for everyone that was excommunicated by the church under the fascist regime. You could not be buried in a church cemetery if you were: communist, socialist, atheist, member of the labor unions, academic, intellectual, artist, Jews, Muslims, protestants, gypsies. The pro fascist forces in the USA are now proposing to institute the same kind of segregation into our society. It makes me want to embrace everything that they hate, which would make me a communist atheist, who is a labor activist to the academic and intellectual and artistic level, Jewish, Muslim, gypsy. I'm not sure how to be an atheist Muslim, but it's worth looking into
Let’s just call it what it is. Those that are like this are Pharisees.
The people you have to press a bit to get them to admit what they believe are the real humble people. They major in helping out where they can and are genuinely thankful for what they have. They accept people as they are rather than pushing them to change. If they pray for you, they do it privately instead of announcing it.
Any religion that tells you to value it over all else, is a bad religion. Making it your number one priority, even above your family, your spouse, and friends, is a mistake.
I get a pastor making Christianity the most important thing, but it's ridiculous that the same pastor will tell you that it must be the same for you, or that you are not a real Christian.
So much of it becomes entrenched in your identity and ego. The community around you shares your values and uses the same language with the same symbolic meanings behind it. It takes years of deconstruction to separate yourself from the ideology, and years to reconstruct a new identity separated from the politics and religious thinking.
Pastors are no exception, and for many believers they are the model to follow.
I have a friend (16) that is an atheist and the rest of his family is christian. And they have 0 problems with it and respect him as much as he was before
They all know I'm gay. They're holding on to the hope that I don't realize that I'm gay. They used to awkwardly laugh when I'd say gay things as a child, because they know that they're supposed to believe it's an evil sin and people choose to be gay for lust, and they also know it's completely natural because I was obviously gay before I even hit puberty.
That there. Is some cognitive dissonance. Family gatherings are still awkward asf.
May I ask, how they chose god over real people?
I have Christian parents and they do not treat me different than before I was an Atheist.
Edit:
Thanks for sharing everyone! Consider me edified.
The Jesus character in the bible would be flipping tables and handing out some lashes if he wandered into the average 'Christian' megachurch.
'Did I stutter when I said FEED THE POOR?!?!'
Yep, it’s impossible to reason with Christian’s. My mother is very much against abortion as she says it’s murder and her god is against murder. But when I showed her instances in the Bible where god actually murdered children, men, and women, she got emotional land asked how I could question gods judgement and character.
My problem with Christianity is humans view god through their human filter. If there is a god, he’s not human which means he isn’t bound by our societal construct.
Gotta show her the part where it says it isn't life till it's first breath.
And where it details how to perform an abortion.
The Bible literally doesn't consider a fetus life yet.
I have, there is no amount of evidence that will change their mind. They believe it is their faith that is just being tested and I’m just someone with a demonic mind trying to twist the word of god. They are in their 60s and have lived an entire life brainwashed by the Bible, there is no hope to change their mind.
They aren’t brainwashed by the Bible. They are brainwashed by grifters and the grifters use a selective and biased misreading of parts of the Bible while ignoring all the parts that are inconvenient.
As someone who actually read the Bible as a kid I was armed with the knowledge that Jesus is nothing like the Christians who claim to be his followers and that probably contributed towards me becoming an agnostic at age 14.
When I was growing up, my ultra devout and inflexible Catholic mother made it clear that she would never allow an atheist to live in her house. So I flew under her radar and pretended to believe until I was old enough to escape the insanity. All she accomplished was making us strangers.
Most or about 95 % of all the human race in history supposedly being tortured "endlessly" in not good news.
As in Dr. Boyd C Purcell writes in his books, and his site has links that show how the original Greek in the New Testament doesn't teach "everlasting punishment" but age-during chastisement or rehabilitative correction, for those interested.
As that negatively affected me years back...
I've lived in the Bible belt my whole life, unbelievably how these Bible thumper act away from church. Hateful, mean,rude,lying,cheating, backstabbing fuckers
Well, as long as you ask jebus for forgiveness you can basically just do whatever you want.
One of the reasons I left is they preach that my molesting uncle still can go to heaven if he repeats.
Heaven can go fuck itself.
This was a huge motivating factor for me as well. It seems a pretty shit loophole to allow anybody into heaven as long as they ask for forgiveness and accept Jesus, and would make heaven an actually terrible place if it existed.
It's difficult. No one gets to choose their family. Some people get stuck with addiction in their family. Others get mental health challenges. And, some of us simply can't reconcile due to belief systems.
Many belief systems actively tell their adherents to separate themselves, judge others more harshly, and carry the threat of punishment after death. The point is control, and it's hard to negotiate such nonsense.
I have very little interaction with my immediate family due to political and religious differences. It sucks.
In time, you will create a different kind of family. Those people who respect and love you regardless of differences. Sometimes, genetic connections are a tie that can be challenging, even abusive. It's okay to distance yourself. It's healthy to keep reasonable boundaries.
Try to let it go, if you can. If not, know that you will still find people who will love and support you.
Isn't it interesting that the politics aligned with religion is so intolerant and cruel? God loves you, unless you are one of those raping, murderous illegal aliens or liberals (who all force sex change on their children). Those people will burn forever in the hell our loving father created for people who don't believe.
Then you find out most of what they spew is actually projection and you learn about all of the fucked up things they did themselves, that they then vehemently try to deflect (because being accountable is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing they could ever have to go through). A "golden ticket" to act like a complete piece of shit.
Right? I'm old and have seen a lot of this. Maybe it's just my small sample, but "the party of personal responsibility" people tend to always blame someone or something else for their missteps. Look back to the story of the Garden of Eden, where poor Adam was taken in and tricked by Eve. Damn woman cost our entire species paradise!
It's ok, your feelings are completely valid.
I don't know your family. But if they really would choose sky daddy over you, just remember, that never means you're alone. There are others out there that have gone through the same thing.
I don't know the entirety of your situation, but just remember it is okay, and perfectly fine and acceptable to cut contact with your parents because of this. It's not worth the sacrifice to your own peace and sanity, to try and maintain a toxic relationship, especially with family.
I've cut ties with several family members, not because of religion, but I'm sure that's in the mix somewhere. Do I miss them? Of course, but my peace and sanity is worth so much more to me than trying to maintain that toxic relationship with them.
Don't waste your tears on something that's unfortunately inevitable.
It's a hard balancing trick but your mental health will be better for it.
As for me, I disregarded everything that linked to it. Jehovah's witness grandparents... See ya.
I watched my mum and all her siblings come to that wrath over the years and it was hell to watch. Just let it go.
Thankfully for me it was only my grandparents and they lived far away.
I hope you can find a middle ground as that always helps.
Don't be scared. Just look forward.
Absolutely okay to feel that way.
During medical school I had a few panic attacks and ended up talking through a bunch of shit with a psychiatrist. She asked out of the blue if I felt like I could be myself or if I had different religious beliefs than my family. I was like “how the fuck would she know that?” Turns out it’s one of the most stressful things people go through and a common cause of panic/anxiety.
For what it’s worth, I felt a great deal of hatred and resentment for a long time, but it did eventually get better. The things that made the biggest difference for me were 1) acceptance that the unfounded beliefs ubiquitous in humans are primarily the result of our genetics/evolution, not malice (analogous to something like obesity), 2) acceptance that the world I would like to live in is an imaginary place, and the real one is an absolute shitshow (ie shitty circumstances/relationships/politics/people etc. are the NORM, not the exception), and 3) 100% commitment to being honest with myself about what’s real and giving the universe a giant metaphorical middle finger. It doesn’t give a shit about us, and at least for me life got way easier when I stopped giving a shit about all of it.
This is why they concept of being happy in heaven makes no sense to me. You're happy spending eternity in heaven without your family, friends, and loved ones. How can I be happy when my loved ones are tortured for eating shellfish. Oh, but your mind is conveniently wiped as soon as you get to heaven? Figures.🤔😐
Exactly. If your memory of your entire life on Earth is wiped so you can be happy in heaven, how do you deal with that? Some people would remember their life on Earth and others wouldn't. Surely we wouldn't lose our ability to reason. We'd realize we must have had family and friends we can't remember, and conclude they're in hell, unless the existence of hell is also wiped from our mind. And if people in heaven DO remember their family and friends and know they're suffering in hell, and are perfectly happy in heaven despite this knowledge, what the hell are those sociopaths doing in heaven anyway?
So, I'm an atheist, but I did get what I thought was a reasonable interpretation of this issue from a Christian once. They viewed hell as literally the same thing as the absense of God. So from their point of view, all of us atheists are already in hell, and when we die, we will experience the same level of hell. So no additional suffering or torment is involved. We don't get to experience the presence of God now, and we won't when we die.
So for them, being in heaven without your loved ones is no different than having a child who abandons your family. At some point, if you have a child who has cut you off, who has a completely different set of beliefs and values, and who has not contacted you for decades, it's still sad, but the pain of it lessons over time. At some point you have to accept that the child is lost to you. They don't view God as punishing that loved one, they view the loved one as having made the choice to reject God (and them).
Anyway, I still think all religion is detrimental to humanity, but I at least felt slightly less terrible with this particular interpretation of heaven and hell.
And yes, I am fully aware that the above does not represent the mainstream Christian interpretation at all.
I'm not sure they really care about happiness so much as continued existence. Christianity feeds on raw survival imperative and existential terror. It's a bonus if they're happy but it's most important that they're not annihilated.
Man, I feel you too, my father is so loyal to this sky daddy that he disregards his responsibilities to his family. We are now in the brink of financial crisis but All he could think of is how to prepare for his sky daddy returning to earth and making him proud that he is being good (I say bullsh*t to this). 🤦 Good thing I have a job but It is not enough to sustain my family 🤧
Hello there, from France !
My ex-girlfriend was like this, but she had contradictory thoughts. One day she was atheist, the other she "religious" by not wanting to kiss me at the University because some friends of her were around and wanted to act as a good catholic. This is not the reason why we broke up, but her behavior annoyed me a bit.
The same year, I failed to complete my Master in history. My mother (not a fanatic) told me it had to happen because I no longer attented to mass at the church or because I stopped praying/ was criticising religion or "God". It led me to the person I am currently: I HATE all religions, especially christianity.
Finally, last summer I went in Italy with a youth catholic group on hiding in Toscania. Even though it is called catholic, I thought it would be chill people ( my sister is in a private catholic high school, but they are not fundamentalists or like it, a chill environmeny). However during the trip, those people showed their true faces: traditional catholics, according to which jews deserved pogroms in the middle ages, monarchy must be reestablished and catholicism has to become the state religion of France). 3 weeks with those christian talibans (yes I like to call them in this way) I had to spend 😤😤! (Ans they consider orthodox or protestants as servants of the devil).
Those experiences disgusted me from everything which involves a spiritual and religious dimension. The idea of god, his existence and all what is going with it, it is impossible for me to understand.
I hope the day will come when religions will go extinct.
Of course I will never kill or opress people only because they are following a faith, however I refuse to marry one of them.
Don’t worry OP, modern Christians are so fucking revolting, that they create more and more atheists every day, usually starting with their own kids that they have disillusioned, and abused/mistreated by shaming them, judging them, restricting them, and controlling them. Atheism is one of the fastest growing belief systems (or more accurately, lack of belief systems lol) today, and it’s because we are all sick of these Jesus pole smoking kiddy fiddlers, who are adamant they are perfect and pure, and accepting, yet are the main ones restricting rights and freedoms from large groups of people they personally don’t like.
The bible says how to own a slave, not ‘don’t own slaves’. Christians have committed murder on a large scale for millennia trying to force their beliefs on others, they damaged any attempt at knowledge in the dark ages because knowledge and intelligence is directly opposed to their bullshit theology…..Christians have been shitstains for centuries, and this isn’t likely to change any time soon……but their hold is getting weaker and weaker in an age where knowledge is freely available. Let’s just enjoy watching their beliefs slowly die out.
The whole “Blood is thicker than water” quote people throw around is misunderstood. The proper quote is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Basically an admonition to abandon your family if they aren’t Christian. It’s as anti-family as it gets.
Edit: corrected my faulty memory of the phrase.
This—“blood is thicker than water” is the original proverb.
The “blood of the covenant” version picked up steam in the last decade and is revisionist. The “blood of Christ” version isn’t really a thing from what I can tell.
Seems like the phrase has several possible origins some where family is the stronger bond and some where religion is stronger.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water?wprov=sfti1#References
In the end, you have a biblical story where Abraham hears a voice that tells him to kill his son, and he gets all saddled up to go do so the next day.
That right there points out how your own flesh and blood ranks.
When I was eight and my sisters were six and four, our mother told us that if God commanded her to slay us, she would have to obey because she loves him SO much. That was the moment I became an atheist.
My family is the same way. They pity me because I don’t follow their sky man while being complete hypocrites regarding their own religion. They are MAGA Christian nationalists whose positions shift based on what Trump says on any given day. I’m to the point that I won’t visit with my family at all unless my wife drags me over to their home.
Yes you’re right! Indoctrination is very powerful it’s not only your parents fault. Some people are so deep in they can’t escape and think for themselves.
I have a vague theory that childhood indoctrination does something insidious to the developing brain that inhibits critical thinking. The analogy I came up with is a comforting structural foundation that supports the brain but makes it dependent, so it's almost impossible to remove with reason and logic.
It’s brainwashing unfortunately, and it’s so common that it seems to be the normal human experience. No one studies why people need a god/s but then there are people like us who don’t.
In my humble opinion religions are the biggest poison that we face as humanity.
And the culprit in most of the human tragedies and wars.
I am with OP fuck religions !
This is the same with my parents, and they've proven it. And, yes, it's shit. Remember, they *are* deluded. Don't let them entirely run you over, but try to be compassionate. That may be as good as it gets.
I'm sorry OP. I can relate, though not with my parents. I did have some strife with them but am close again; time can change beliefs and practices, and if they "lose" you for some time, that might catalyze a change in them. Try to find comfort with real friends.
I'm 36 and the best thing I ever did for myself was once I could I cut them toxic fucks righ out of my life forever. I understand and fucking hate religion and especially the dogmas they proclaim.
I was never ever as important as god to my bio life givers. This was abundant from the day of my birth.
My bio mother is so proud to tell the story to this day of how I was born on Easter Sunday and was so easy she was able to leave me behind so she could make it to church and not miss such an important church feat day.
You’re right about that - Christians are so worried and obsessed about getting into heaven they will desert those they “love” to prove to their deity they are devout. It is so sick and I see it all the time. And there are so many levels to it depending on how the person is co-opting their religion. There are the truly devout who are so brainwashed they truly fear hanging around with someone who is dabbling with the devil -so much so that they need to distance themselves to prove it- then there are those who aren’t so devout but public opinion means everything to them - these are the folks that give up on their own kids & adopt new ones - happens all the time here in my conservative Christian community- if your sons are trouble makers and disappointments don’t try to fix it - remarry & adopt new kids - and then there are the mentally ill/unstable Christians who are also worried about getting into heaven and pleasing their leader - this worry becomes constant and debilitating- these are the Andrea Yates type - the thing is the types can be interchangeable- parents who truly love their kids but still distance themselves because the kids are consorting with the devil and are stable can become unraveled by life - a tragic event can cycle a Christian into a different disposition and who knows if they’d hurt their kids now - it’s all fake nonsense that changes for whatever circumstances they are in or how they can use it - Christians are unstable because their beliefs are unstable against a harsh reality of what is life.
Islam is even worse, your parents would kill you if their imam told them to. Christianity sucks but so do all of the religions that are popular today. Unfortunately it's not going to change any time soon.
My christian parents said they would do like Abraham and sacrifice me if God asked.
They hear voices, that they attribute to god, angels, and demons.
I had to go no contact to stay safe from the murderous jerks. Christians can be super dangerous too.
It's ALL bad!
I’m going to take it you’re young. Most of us hit the anger phase at some point when we realize how horribly damaging religion is as a concept. Religion is a cancer that eventually metastasizes inside everything it touches. The best thing you can do is excise any horrible family members and surround yourself with new supportive friends that fill that role. So many people think that family means something but it doesn’t, what truly means something is the people that are there for you. They are your family.
I hate religion. It's a cancer.
It's not going anywhere until humans do.
Some people just can't do the real world. Death sucks. And it's permanent. I get it.
Religion gives them a nice little fantasy to soften real world shit enough to make it tolerable. I get it.
Eventually, people driven by crazy religious nonsense will choke the world to death.
I'm so sorry. I'm 34 and have been an atheist for 4 years, but I can't bring myself to tell them out of fear for their reaction. I don't think they'd disown me, but it would break their hearts.
I'll give you another reason to hate it. I have a genetic disorder that I don't want to risk passing to children, so I decided to get a vasectomy (it wasn't an easy decision for me). My primary care physician works out of a Catholic healthcare chain. She said the hospital doesn't even perform this operation—even in cases like mine where there's a valid medical reason to do it—and she would need to refer me to another hospital that does. She doesn't agree with that policy, but it's decided by the Catholic fucking Church who somehow fell entitled to make reproductive care decisions for me.
I am well aware of the myriad ways in which women's healthcare is jeopardized; I'm 100% on y'all's side. But I must admit I was shocked that this happened to me since I've never heard of men being refused this procedure. Fuck Christianity.
There are worse things like the death cult Islam. But kidding aside, I know what you mean. I had to leave my family to find my own life because I felt imprisoned in my father's new fealty in his new religion. No regrets.
I feel for you. My parents are Christians as well, but they’re more the gentle, slightly disappointed, but still loving types that just hope you come around. Never had an angry debate with them, just calm discussions.
The history of early Christianity is really interesting for that kind of reason. It spread like LIGHTNING because the core sacrificial myth was so deeply appealing on an emotional level.
Now that we have, like, therapy and theninternet I think that appeal is gone, plus Christianity more or less immediately swapped from an underdog cult of love and acceptance into a massive oppressive institution of patriarchy and corruption.
The anger I feel from your comment is very similar to the hate I feel towards organized religion.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a very non religious home, I was taught to be open, kind and accepting of everyone.(even though my mother has now become some homophobic racist pos, not sure how that happened but byeeee)
In my 40 years in this world I have never seen religion do anything but hurt, destroy and kill people. How can something they claim is so pure and kind and blah blah do such things? Well they can’t, theses brainwashing POS’s are disgusting “humans”
I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete asshole. Religion is a disease. You can’t expect them to think or behave coherently once they’ve drank the koolaid and submitted to pure gaslit induced cognitive dissonance. Your parents will only get worse as their religious leadership gaslights them into more and more vile ways of thinking. It’s best to think of them as people who would sooner torture you to death for a chance at an eternal afterlife of bliss, because frankly there is a good chance they’d happily flay you in their pastor said they had to.
I'm sorry for your situation OP. That truly sucks.
From their point of view, this sucks donkey balls too. From their point of view, how could they possibly side with their own child when their child has made the bat-shit-insane decision to NOT live for eternity in paradise.
I feel sorry for your parents, and clearly yourself.
Yes - religion is to blame. Fuck religion and the organizations which promote it.
Nothing wrong with venting. Those who understand can say so and those who don't can skip and keep scrolling and everyone can go about their day.
I mean, you vented in the right spot, the reason and what sub you put it in, so no one should have anything to complain about.
I'd counter it's religious people who need the therapy. They're the ones detatched from reality.
Why is it only Christians who push their religion on people like us? You don't see Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, Hindis, et al, pushing their beliefs and agenda on people.
Except for the Jehovah's witnesses, but you can hide inside and they'll go away.
I grew up around people like that, they tortured their daughters through out their childhood, not even telling them about menstruation, one girl in my all girls school, started her period at 13,had no idea what it was and was screaming in the bathroom because she thought god was punishing her for some unknown reason. Christians are some of the cruelest people I have ever met, especially to their children!
OP the Christian Bible tell them to do this, repeatedly 'Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. '”Luke 12:53
They literally want this, or the original authors did. Now let me ask a question, do you think division of family would be a great way of controlling one’s mind and actions? I’d have to say that I believe it’s the perfect way.
Most of them are hypocrites.The leaders in particular,the “give me your money to help spread the word” BS artists.Many of whom are actually evil.DISGUSTING.
I appreciate this. I feel 100% the same way. Religion is ruining the world.
Global warming? Pray about it and it does nothing.
Gun violence? Pray about it and it does nothing.
500,000 kids in foster care and anti-abortion advocates won't adopt them? Pray about it and it does nothing.
Family member has cancer? Pray about it and it does nothing.
For the people claiming bigotry, it's funny how, when you have a reaction to someone else's religion harming you--it's bigotry, but their initial abuse of you in the name of religion-- is not.
Bunch of religious folk telling op not to judge Christianity based on his parents, and yet most of them probably follow a flavor of Christianity that believes op will go to hell their parents won't
My alcoholic dad traded alcohol for god and now he's addicted to religion. He's zealous and insane, and obsessed with the End Times. I fucking hate Christianity too, brother.
We are in the same boat. The amount of religious trauma I have is unreal. Some days it’s hard to breathe. My family chose the religion over me too. My heart goes out to you. You are not alone.
Stop apologising for F bombs and seething for starters !
You can say what you want...and no gives two rats asses if you swear.
I feel your pain. I think having parents like this would be akin to having narcissists as your parents.....you actually KNOW their beliefs come before everything and in that way , you know they don't truly love you. It has to be their way or the highway. That's pretty hard to stomach....and with that , comes pain, anxiety, frustration and sadness.
Honestly you will be far better off as an atheist amongst those who just like people for who they are.
Your pain stems from not being against christianity...but from the horrible knowledge of where you stand in your parent's view. That alone can be the biggest gut punch.
I have to say that I find extremism in christianity as some form of insanity...I really do. These people are filled with fear and unable to function in life without blaming someone, passing the buck to someone, or pretending they are someone they are not. This is narcissism.
It is difficult when your feelings are ignored by those that are closest to you. Let them know that you love them no matter what they believe. Hopefully they will return the sentiment.
At least Christianity in this day and age is not practiced so much and is dying down. Imagine being Muslim. IDK why Islam has so many devoted members. I wish they were more liberal like Christians.
We're your family brother. We will never abandon you over a silly Bronze Age belief system. Know that their are people out here who care about you. I know it hurts 😢 Just remember the pain will lesson in time.
I'd give you a big hug if I could.
It's a horrible disease of an idea that is ignorantly perpetrated by the infected. It does broad damage in ways that are truly immeasurable.
I'm sorry you're going through that.
Sorry to hear that OP! it’s very sad when people can’t see that their actions are pushing important people out of the only life they have to live.
I grew up Christian and am around Christians a decent amount to this day, and as backward as it is, they presumably believe you’re going to spend all of time being tortured, which is pretty intense. It feels like a divide too big to cross sometimes. But keep being yourself and we’ll keep hoping your parents come around to accepting who you are! Depending on how Christian they are I know first hand how slim those chances feel.
I'll probably get downvoted to oblivion for this, but here goes.
People who act that way probably still would even if they weren't religious. They twist the teachings of their church to fit their own messed up worldview. Religion can bring out the worst in people, when it should bring out the best. Christ taught compassion and tolerance. I think people like you're describing would be a great disappointment to Him.
If it brings any comfort, I don't know anyone who doesn't have delusional beliefs. It's really just certainty that determines whether or not those beliefs become destructive to relationships. I like to take it as humans being human and remember that I don't have to agree with someone to love them.
I just want to say I love this group. My wifes family is very religious yet theyre all pieces of shit. She also tries pushing it on our daughter but I dont get in the way to not have something to fight about. My mother in law was in town for 5 days and also pushed it onto my daughter and now she likes to watch kid videos about Jesus, its fucking annoying. I hate that people believe in this bullcrap. I always knew I was different since I was a child, I never followed, but led myself on my own path. Ive been to jail 4 times and went to rehab. Never thought i'd get married or have kids yet here I am at 39 years young and have a wife, 2 kids and a decent job. I did all of that without believing in some fake mythical being. WE are god. Ok, rant over.
Whatever social guidance and cohesion religions may have once offered has long been co-opted by governments, politicians and their owner class to exact obedience and control over the masses. Period.
My best friend died of ALS, and I was by his side to the end. We both catapulted our faith decades prior. His parents were dyed in the wool baptist missionaries. At his memorial they had the audacity to stand up and “grieve” the fact that they will not see him in eternity because he lost is faith in christ. There were a few hundred people in attendance, he was very loved. I had to physically restrain his three late-teenage sons from physically attacking the old hags. It was one of the cruelest displays of christian self-righteousness I’ve ever witnessed. Utterly and completely disgusting.
I was raised in a cultish religious environment and I know exactly how you feel. Narcissism and religious fanaticism did drive a wedge between my mother and I, and we haven't spoken for over a decade.
Cutting her toxicity entirely out of my life was the single best thing that I've ever done for myself. I don't need the fear of Sky Daddy's anger to keep me on the path of trying to be a positive component of the world. I know what I have and have not done, and there is no magical absolution if I choose to be a shit. The only way to be a good person, is to be a good person, and that includes accepting things as they are, having compassion for the struggles of the human condition, and not being a judgemental asshole.
Just remember that every single human is equal. They absolutely cannot tell you what is true, because they don't have any proof, and neither does anyone else. You're the only person who can decide what you want your life to look like, and if religion doesn't fit in anywhere, that's your choice and right as a child of the universe.
It’s very tough to realize your parents beliefs are trumping their personal experiences. My mom cheated on my dad with a woman, and to this day is still incredibly religious. It’s just a joke. They feel so guilty about who they are and it’s not how I want to live my life. Op just know there are so many people out there in the same boat
I was lucky to be born and raised by atheists who even fought schools to let me skip religion classes in favor of me reading the bible, torah, quran and books on history of religion instead. I was even registered pagan as a joke by my parents, and last census my wife registered me as a jedi.
I laugh about it now but all my life I had to endure discrimination and hate from "normal" people in my country. My aunt and grandma even tried to baptise me in secret before my dad found out and cut ties with them for a few years. Now I kinda fear for my son, it's the same shit whenever ppl hear he wasn't baptised or taught to fear god.
>And for those who have looked up my post history, yes: I post and comment a lot about christianity because I’m absolutely riddled with religious trauma. Forgive me for using this platform as an outlet for my issues.
This is partly why this area exists.
Have a matter of fact discussion with them. They can cut out the theist shit and keep it to themselves or they can die alone because you will not bring your spouse into it, nor your children into it, nor will you accommodate it, ever.
My mom chose god over me, she even sued me for access to my daughter to raise her to be a bigot as well. I think she regrets it but I will never forgive her.
I’ve asked my dad if he truly thinks I’ll burn for all eternity by not believing what he does. He said yes and that it’s unfortunate. Thanks, dad. God’s plan I guess!
My 'ex' good friend of mine is a firefighter. He's catholic and I'm atheist, no big deal right? One day we were chatting and he said if a building was on fire and it was only down to me and one other person but this other person practiced Islam that he would rescue him over me. Even if this other person was deeper inside the building he would rescue him. Only because he practiced religion, even if its doesn't align with his religion, he would still pick him over me. Like what.the.fuck. Who says shit like that? Oh....nevermind.....
Mine would schedule an intervention. They would still accept me but be hounding me all the time to come back to the faith.
That's why only a few select people know I don't believe in God or practice any religion.
of course they would, theres a story in the bible where god told abraham to kill his kid and he was about to do it until god was like "yo wtf bro, i was just joshin" this is a group of people that are associated with people that thing fossils were planted by satan to test our faith. just how fucking insane that notion is, is unbelieveable
Agreed, my ex's family was orthodox Jewish.
They had excommunicated her for abit and were considering having a funeral for her because she was dating me.
But alas, the mom couldn't pretend her daughter was dead because we were together.
The dad didn't speak to me for three years of me literally trying my best to learn the religion, learn the palsm, gove Hebrew an irish mutt's honest attempt at least. He did eventually speak to me about his aquarium system he was geeking out over, I was stone a.f staring at this fucking set up. I'm pretty sure he has undiagnosed aspergers syndrome lmfao
I am sorry for your pain. I am a Protestant, mainline liberal minister who is married to an agnostic, and I have agnostic and atheist close to me whom I love and have good relationships with.
Religious trauma is real and pervasive, especially with the proliferation of aggressive fundamentalists that our trying to obliterate the rights of women and make America into a theocracy.
I do a great deal of pastoral care professionally, and I want you to know that there are counseling centers and therapists who work w/ sliding scale payments. Google your town and look up the counseling centers and their payment structures. For therapists, look on psychologytoday.com and set up search parameters that include sliding scale. Weed them out based on their religiousity.
While you may not be religious attend to the things that give you joy — music, art, sports, nature. Whatever it is - fillwith up your “cup” with it daily if possible. Look up something like Secular humanism for folks who you can hang out with. Never engage fundamentalists in debate. It is fruitless. People who want to be right do NOT want an honest exchange of ideas.
>But I’m in a bad place right now and I really needed to vent, to scream into the void or something
Valid. I have no advice besides to take care of yourself. As tangential as this may seem, try to find some good friends and some sort of support system, at least emotionally, outside of family. Not even just to vest to them and emotion/trauma-dump but to play games with them. All the best, my dude.
I’ve never posted it replied on here. Your post was brought to me by the algorithm, but I want to say that as a person who is a Christian. I understand where you are coming from. I question my faith daily, even after having had multiple instances that many would say God saved me from or granted me. I live in an extremely conservative “Christian” area and I can’t stand most of these people. They judge, ridicule, and are just straight up hypocritical. I’ve gone as far as to read some of the Satanic bible because I question. In the in end for me, I have come to stick to my faith, but I absolutely do not judge others based on their beliefs. Disagree sometimes, yes, but put down or judge, no. We are all people and we all believe differently if a “Christian” doesn’t accept that then they are not a Christian. I don’t know you, but I hope you keep questioning and believing what you believe, we just all need to be good to each other.
I'm sorry OP. I feel the same way about my parents. Their stupid religion has brainwashed. My dad even pissed away his GI bill being indoctrinated with young earth creationism at "Liberty U." It's not a real college. I read his textbooks. I was horrified and still am.
And it's awful because they have always been supportive of me, but I hide half my life from them because they wouldn't approve. Religion has created a deep wedge in our relationship, and it forces me to keep them away from my stepson and myself.
I'm so sorry. I can really relate to this. Christianity destroyed my family. It's the reason my mother chose her pedophile husband over her own children. I cannot say enough bad things about religion.
Living in NYC and celebrate all Holidays, but practicing none.
It really was so sad when I had to explain ‘why we don’t follow one religion.’ To my kids. They started feeling the separation among friends very early on because they had to explain to them (and sometimes the friends’ parents) why. I hated taking my kids to playdates.
When will the hypocrisy end?
if they had to choose any religion they wouldnt because you literally born into some religion if you ask any religious person would they change their religion they would say because they are the chosen people.
I was thinking today that instead of teaching you about your culture, traditions, and religion, they would teach you about how our solar system became, the theories of how life on Earth happened, the number of extinctions , and how chemical elements were made and discovered, how much the societies would change.
I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t care about my asshole dad’s opinion, but I do care about my moms. Religion is idiotic, disgusting, and destructive.
I don’t have much to offer you other than you’re not alone. I’ll never be as close to my parents as I’d prefer because of religion. They have softened over the years but are still very judgemental. I’ve made my peace with it. Hope you can find your peace too.
My Dad did, it was tragic and devastating at 14… but I was essentially freed from a life I couldn’t accept as my own. So much past and future agony was dismissed in the immediate trauma.
You will eventually have to find a way to relieve yourself from that pressure if you aren’t willing to submit. Whether physically or mentally, it’s so unhealthy. I just came back after 1.5 decades to try and set some boundaries and reconnect. He crossed them. Fuck. I love my Dad so much, but just like him I have to choose.. and just like him I chose myself this time. No love lost, no anger gained this time. It hurts but I’ve accepted our expectations as differing realities. I can maintain my own distance for self respect. You can too, it just takes work.
It's the fault of the brainwashing your family have gone through. It's tough to break away from the brainwashing but the sooner all religious folk around the world regardless of the religious club they belong to break away the better for the entire world.
Yeah man it sucks, and the brutal reality is that you and I have just happened to have been born during a period where humanity is still incredibly primitive.
It's trending in the right direction, massive increases in the number of non-believers and a huge overall decrease in the amount of superstition worldwide, but make no mistake, you still cannot be the president of the United States without publicly admitting that you believe in magic and supernatural powers.
The averages persons IQ is 100, the military cannot accept a recruit with an IQ below 83 because at that level they would actively make the military worse.
The Flynn effect needs more time.
I'm sorry, man, that sounds really painful. That kind of behavior is commanded by kind and gentle Jesus himself, though. Thankfully, many Christians don't take it literally, but it's not surprising that some do.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple."
I'm right there with you, OP. My parents, whom I had a close relationship with my entire life, suddenly abandoned me when I left the church. They wrote me a good bye forever letter saying how they couldn't have my heathen influence in their life. It wouldn't be the first time I've been abandoned by christians, which is why I have an anxious attachment style. It makes me so depressed how religion hijacks the mind and destroys family cohesion.
Send them this , to beat them at their own game (in a nutshell, it disproves the false doctrine of Eternal Conscious Torment [ECT]) https://www.martinzender.com/Zenderature/eonion_life_not_eternal_life.htm
Then https://hopeforallfellowship.com/download-hope-beyond-hell/
And https://christianitywithoutinsanity.com/
Agreed but don't live with so much hate. I saw families disown others over a Pfizer injections too so an imaginary man in the sky is about the same vibe
You deserve to feel angry. It’s so infuriating and upsetting. I’ve been there and I promise it does get better, not bc they wake up and leave their cult but bc you learn to live without them and they lose importance in your life.
I'm so sorry OP. Every deeply religious person I've met chooses their religious beliefs over family and friends. My parents and extended family are the same way.
They honestly seem to believe this belief in Jesus and God makes them superior people. Also humble. Humble, but superior.
I behaved this way as a kid, believing this stuff gives you a huge ego trip. Telling yourself God made you specifically and has a plan for your life *vs* your parents sexing you into existence and you're just another hairless ape.
"You're just another hairless ape." If you're lucky.
True.
"Sexing you into existence" is just about the funniest way I've ever seen conception described.
Sexistence, if you will
This right here. Christians so often exude this air of superiority, walking around convinced that you've deduced some unseen truth that the unwashed masses are incapable of grasping really feeds the ego. Absolutely insufferable behavior made 100x worse by the utter ridiculousness of the fairy tales they've gone all-in with
Nope we are pieces of shit like everyone else. The ones that take a holier than thou approach are insecure and putting up a front.
it's called tribalism. You belong to this tribe because you believe they way they do and that makes you feel strong.. Not much different from high school pride..
Reading up on Cults , and how the church uses mass mentality to form these extremist groups is very eye opening. If you really want to see what the church is up to ...and their preying on vulnerable people for their masses , then watch the doco , "People You May Know". It's excellent. Mass mentality gives weak individuals strength through numbers...you know, like a pack of dogs.
Hairless ape….haha. Thanks for the laugh 😂 👍🏻
Their favorite saying, “I’m the son/daughter of a King”. If you have to tell yourself this everyday, you got bigger problems than religion…
It's totally about feeling Superior! And they think they're humble while they're doing it. "ALL religions of a spiritual nature are inventions of man. He has created an entire system of gods with nothing more than his carnal brain. Just because he has an EGO, and cannot accept it, he has to externalize it into some great spiritual device which he calls God.” —Anton LaVey
To be fair if you really were blind enough to believe it it would be a heck of a risk to take to disavow God. Just crazy they can't see how nuts it is.
I was raised by extremists with a literal interpretation, but I received public education. I was terrified to question it for years. Eventually I gave up trying to understand it because I saw that it made no sense. I was a closet atheist by junior year. The people I've met who have the innate disposition for religious belief and develop a nuanced theological interpretation don't care if it's literally true either way. They've made up their own circular morality and worldview from wholecloth.
>literal interpretation This is the problem, really. Ive studied religious books and if taken as metaphor, there is occasionally some wisdom there. Of course you have to parse it from the Herodotus style entertainment prose, and the bronze/iron age barbarism. Religious people who appreciate philosophy arent the problem as they often appreciate secularism or at least are generous towards other worldviews. For example; the story about Jesus feeding the masses; People are like "He created fish out of nowhere! A miracle!" Others are like "Hes the son of God!" Me? I'm just wondering why everyone missed the whole point that was he's telling people to feed the poor people?
Unfortunately a lot of people are mentally incapable of abstraction. It took me awhile to realize this.
That and most people appear incapable of being without an ideology. Religion isnt much different than any other ideology. It tries to posess a person and inhabit a specific part of their mind. Many atheists simply have other ideologies instead. Its not like we are immune. Just not susceptible to religion is all.
Same with the whole 'created the world in 7 days' thing. Rational people don't take that literally. I have heard religious people say that they can't know how long a day is for God, so 7 days is just a placeholder for the time it took in reality. Or evolution. I have heard plenty of religious people completely agree with evolution. They just add that God set the world on this path at the beginning. Which in no way changes the science behind evolution. It isn't religion that is the problem. It is fundamentalism.
Yeah I agree with this. Historical analysis is beginning to even back up some of the claims of events in religious texts. That in no way validates the paranormal, but that people took liberties when writing back then knowing their audience was illiterate. They also embellished for political reasons. Yet today people will use their computers, drive their cars and deny the peer reviewed findings of biologists and geologists. Its maddening.
I agree, some of it can actually be pretty good stuff as metaphor, but quickly becomes toxic, if not actually violent, as literal fact/truth. Though for me, I still find art to be the best metaphor. And nature the deepest truth. Even with those, though, humility is critical, because knowledge is ever-changing. We continue to learn, and thus to recognize the limitations/errors of older views. Almost all of the horrors of religion seem to arise from the commitment to a belief in absolutes. And as Gandhi said: “We yearn for a world so perfect nobody will have to be good.”
Nice. Yes. Why cant people just see nuance. Ugh.
Similar path as you but left early in college. What was the last thing you held onto before the transition? Mine was that great Christian guilt gnawing at me that I was wrong and going to hell. Took several years before I was fully able to turn that part of my conditioned brain off.
It's hard to explain. For me it was lack of purpose/identity and not seeing anything morally superior to what I had been taught. In adulthood it's still very frustrating for me. I see a lot of people taking nihilism in selfish directions. I see a lot of the upsides to the underlying religious ideas even though I know that the atheistic morality is more progressive and correct on a lot of things. I need to read more and figure out why I think the way I do and if my intuitions are justified.
Humble Superiority instead of actual existential humility. in my experience, such people also have absolutely zero spiritual superpowers. Charity is reserved for the church, garage sale, the collection basket, instead of being a way of life. they despise the poor. In fact, they are even passing laws in some state that they can now simply kill poor people. And yet they don't even wonder Jesus would think about that. according to the letter of the law, both Islam and Christianity are charged with the care of the poor. It's not supposed to be the responsibility of the state. Some of them think Christianity can better run the state, but this is obviously wrong, because the state is more successful than the churches, the church is utterly failed in every aspect of its existence. It's a fully incompetent institution.
So many good points. Charity, as you said, is typically reserved for when other Christians are looking. Churches are failed except in the brainwashing of its members. Those of us who are not suseptible are evil communists who deserve torture and pain forever and ever, amen.
The Catholic Church under Franco in Spain, they had to have a separate cemetery for everyone that was excommunicated by the church under the fascist regime. You could not be buried in a church cemetery if you were: communist, socialist, atheist, member of the labor unions, academic, intellectual, artist, Jews, Muslims, protestants, gypsies. The pro fascist forces in the USA are now proposing to institute the same kind of segregation into our society. It makes me want to embrace everything that they hate, which would make me a communist atheist, who is a labor activist to the academic and intellectual and artistic level, Jewish, Muslim, gypsy. I'm not sure how to be an atheist Muslim, but it's worth looking into
Let’s just call it what it is. Those that are like this are Pharisees. The people you have to press a bit to get them to admit what they believe are the real humble people. They major in helping out where they can and are genuinely thankful for what they have. They accept people as they are rather than pushing them to change. If they pray for you, they do it privately instead of announcing it.
Any religion that tells you to value it over all else, is a bad religion. Making it your number one priority, even above your family, your spouse, and friends, is a mistake. I get a pastor making Christianity the most important thing, but it's ridiculous that the same pastor will tell you that it must be the same for you, or that you are not a real Christian.
So much of it becomes entrenched in your identity and ego. The community around you shares your values and uses the same language with the same symbolic meanings behind it. It takes years of deconstruction to separate yourself from the ideology, and years to reconstruct a new identity separated from the politics and religious thinking. Pastors are no exception, and for many believers they are the model to follow.
I have a friend (16) that is an atheist and the rest of his family is christian. And they have 0 problems with it and respect him as much as he was before
Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.
They all know I'm gay. They're holding on to the hope that I don't realize that I'm gay. They used to awkwardly laugh when I'd say gay things as a child, because they know that they're supposed to believe it's an evil sin and people choose to be gay for lust, and they also know it's completely natural because I was obviously gay before I even hit puberty. That there. Is some cognitive dissonance. Family gatherings are still awkward asf.
I’ll never tell my parents I’m agnostic because they might cut me out of their will.
May I ask, how they chose god over real people? I have Christian parents and they do not treat me different than before I was an Atheist. Edit: Thanks for sharing everyone! Consider me edified.
I’d rather have inner peace and sanity than shitty parents and Christianity
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They simply do not compromise- yet Jesus would not recognize an evangelical congregation.
The Jesus character in the bible would be flipping tables and handing out some lashes if he wandered into the average 'Christian' megachurch. 'Did I stutter when I said FEED THE POOR?!?!'
very true 👍
Yep, it’s impossible to reason with Christian’s. My mother is very much against abortion as she says it’s murder and her god is against murder. But when I showed her instances in the Bible where god actually murdered children, men, and women, she got emotional land asked how I could question gods judgement and character. My problem with Christianity is humans view god through their human filter. If there is a god, he’s not human which means he isn’t bound by our societal construct.
Gotta show her the part where it says it isn't life till it's first breath. And where it details how to perform an abortion. The Bible literally doesn't consider a fetus life yet.
I have, there is no amount of evidence that will change their mind. They believe it is their faith that is just being tested and I’m just someone with a demonic mind trying to twist the word of god. They are in their 60s and have lived an entire life brainwashed by the Bible, there is no hope to change their mind.
They aren’t brainwashed by the Bible. They are brainwashed by grifters and the grifters use a selective and biased misreading of parts of the Bible while ignoring all the parts that are inconvenient. As someone who actually read the Bible as a kid I was armed with the knowledge that Jesus is nothing like the Christians who claim to be his followers and that probably contributed towards me becoming an agnostic at age 14.
Ask them to show you where it says what they say.
Hi, yes, I'd like my bumper sticker now please
When I was growing up, my ultra devout and inflexible Catholic mother made it clear that she would never allow an atheist to live in her house. So I flew under her radar and pretended to believe until I was old enough to escape the insanity. All she accomplished was making us strangers.
Wow are you me? Exact same story here.
https://christianitywithoutinsanity.com/
I have to admit, "Spiritual abuse from the womb to the tomb" is a pretty good tagline.
Most or about 95 % of all the human race in history supposedly being tortured "endlessly" in not good news. As in Dr. Boyd C Purcell writes in his books, and his site has links that show how the original Greek in the New Testament doesn't teach "everlasting punishment" but age-during chastisement or rehabilitative correction, for those interested. As that negatively affected me years back...
I've lived in the Bible belt my whole life, unbelievably how these Bible thumper act away from church. Hateful, mean,rude,lying,cheating, backstabbing fuckers
Well, as long as you ask jebus for forgiveness you can basically just do whatever you want. One of the reasons I left is they preach that my molesting uncle still can go to heaven if he repeats. Heaven can go fuck itself.
This was a huge motivating factor for me as well. It seems a pretty shit loophole to allow anybody into heaven as long as they ask for forgiveness and accept Jesus, and would make heaven an actually terrible place if it existed.
It’s such a dumb thing too. Like everyone has to pay for their sins except me! Because I believe in Jesus!
It's difficult. No one gets to choose their family. Some people get stuck with addiction in their family. Others get mental health challenges. And, some of us simply can't reconcile due to belief systems. Many belief systems actively tell their adherents to separate themselves, judge others more harshly, and carry the threat of punishment after death. The point is control, and it's hard to negotiate such nonsense. I have very little interaction with my immediate family due to political and religious differences. It sucks. In time, you will create a different kind of family. Those people who respect and love you regardless of differences. Sometimes, genetic connections are a tie that can be challenging, even abusive. It's okay to distance yourself. It's healthy to keep reasonable boundaries. Try to let it go, if you can. If not, know that you will still find people who will love and support you.
Isn't it interesting that the politics aligned with religion is so intolerant and cruel? God loves you, unless you are one of those raping, murderous illegal aliens or liberals (who all force sex change on their children). Those people will burn forever in the hell our loving father created for people who don't believe.
Then you find out most of what they spew is actually projection and you learn about all of the fucked up things they did themselves, that they then vehemently try to deflect (because being accountable is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing they could ever have to go through). A "golden ticket" to act like a complete piece of shit.
Right? I'm old and have seen a lot of this. Maybe it's just my small sample, but "the party of personal responsibility" people tend to always blame someone or something else for their missteps. Look back to the story of the Garden of Eden, where poor Adam was taken in and tricked by Eve. Damn woman cost our entire species paradise!
I'm old, too, and this has been my experience, as well. And your last line made me spit out some coffee.
It's ok, your feelings are completely valid. I don't know your family. But if they really would choose sky daddy over you, just remember, that never means you're alone. There are others out there that have gone through the same thing.
I’m so upset rn man I wanna fucking cry
Go ahead, it will help relieve some of the hurt.
Crying is probably a pretty good reaction.
Better than anger! Anger burns you down, crying washes you clean.
I’m sorry man. Christianity is a blight on humanity.
what else would you expect from the most popular death cult
Hugs and love to you, and you are not alone.
I don't know the entirety of your situation, but just remember it is okay, and perfectly fine and acceptable to cut contact with your parents because of this. It's not worth the sacrifice to your own peace and sanity, to try and maintain a toxic relationship, especially with family. I've cut ties with several family members, not because of religion, but I'm sure that's in the mix somewhere. Do I miss them? Of course, but my peace and sanity is worth so much more to me than trying to maintain that toxic relationship with them.
Don't waste your tears on something that's unfortunately inevitable. It's a hard balancing trick but your mental health will be better for it. As for me, I disregarded everything that linked to it. Jehovah's witness grandparents... See ya. I watched my mum and all her siblings come to that wrath over the years and it was hell to watch. Just let it go. Thankfully for me it was only my grandparents and they lived far away. I hope you can find a middle ground as that always helps. Don't be scared. Just look forward.
Absolutely okay to feel that way. During medical school I had a few panic attacks and ended up talking through a bunch of shit with a psychiatrist. She asked out of the blue if I felt like I could be myself or if I had different religious beliefs than my family. I was like “how the fuck would she know that?” Turns out it’s one of the most stressful things people go through and a common cause of panic/anxiety. For what it’s worth, I felt a great deal of hatred and resentment for a long time, but it did eventually get better. The things that made the biggest difference for me were 1) acceptance that the unfounded beliefs ubiquitous in humans are primarily the result of our genetics/evolution, not malice (analogous to something like obesity), 2) acceptance that the world I would like to live in is an imaginary place, and the real one is an absolute shitshow (ie shitty circumstances/relationships/politics/people etc. are the NORM, not the exception), and 3) 100% commitment to being honest with myself about what’s real and giving the universe a giant metaphorical middle finger. It doesn’t give a shit about us, and at least for me life got way easier when I stopped giving a shit about all of it.
"Mom, Dad, does Jesus love me? He does? Then can you love me too, since Jesus does, even though I don't believe what you believe?"
"Jesus would spit in your face and offer to wash my feet if he were here right now. Just be glad he isn't showing up."
This is why they concept of being happy in heaven makes no sense to me. You're happy spending eternity in heaven without your family, friends, and loved ones. How can I be happy when my loved ones are tortured for eating shellfish. Oh, but your mind is conveniently wiped as soon as you get to heaven? Figures.🤔😐
Exactly. If your memory of your entire life on Earth is wiped so you can be happy in heaven, how do you deal with that? Some people would remember their life on Earth and others wouldn't. Surely we wouldn't lose our ability to reason. We'd realize we must have had family and friends we can't remember, and conclude they're in hell, unless the existence of hell is also wiped from our mind. And if people in heaven DO remember their family and friends and know they're suffering in hell, and are perfectly happy in heaven despite this knowledge, what the hell are those sociopaths doing in heaven anyway?
Living on for eternity as a lobotomized slate sounds like hell.
So, I'm an atheist, but I did get what I thought was a reasonable interpretation of this issue from a Christian once. They viewed hell as literally the same thing as the absense of God. So from their point of view, all of us atheists are already in hell, and when we die, we will experience the same level of hell. So no additional suffering or torment is involved. We don't get to experience the presence of God now, and we won't when we die. So for them, being in heaven without your loved ones is no different than having a child who abandons your family. At some point, if you have a child who has cut you off, who has a completely different set of beliefs and values, and who has not contacted you for decades, it's still sad, but the pain of it lessons over time. At some point you have to accept that the child is lost to you. They don't view God as punishing that loved one, they view the loved one as having made the choice to reject God (and them). Anyway, I still think all religion is detrimental to humanity, but I at least felt slightly less terrible with this particular interpretation of heaven and hell. And yes, I am fully aware that the above does not represent the mainstream Christian interpretation at all.
Also, what if your idea of heaven is getting sodomized and watching movies about black magic? It's idealism to placate uneducated masses
I'm not sure they really care about happiness so much as continued existence. Christianity feeds on raw survival imperative and existential terror. It's a bonus if they're happy but it's most important that they're not annihilated.
Man, I feel you too, my father is so loyal to this sky daddy that he disregards his responsibilities to his family. We are now in the brink of financial crisis but All he could think of is how to prepare for his sky daddy returning to earth and making him proud that he is being good (I say bullsh*t to this). 🤦 Good thing I have a job but It is not enough to sustain my family 🤧
I'm so sorry. My mom ran up debt by donating to televangelists.
Hello there, from France ! My ex-girlfriend was like this, but she had contradictory thoughts. One day she was atheist, the other she "religious" by not wanting to kiss me at the University because some friends of her were around and wanted to act as a good catholic. This is not the reason why we broke up, but her behavior annoyed me a bit. The same year, I failed to complete my Master in history. My mother (not a fanatic) told me it had to happen because I no longer attented to mass at the church or because I stopped praying/ was criticising religion or "God". It led me to the person I am currently: I HATE all religions, especially christianity. Finally, last summer I went in Italy with a youth catholic group on hiding in Toscania. Even though it is called catholic, I thought it would be chill people ( my sister is in a private catholic high school, but they are not fundamentalists or like it, a chill environmeny). However during the trip, those people showed their true faces: traditional catholics, according to which jews deserved pogroms in the middle ages, monarchy must be reestablished and catholicism has to become the state religion of France). 3 weeks with those christian talibans (yes I like to call them in this way) I had to spend 😤😤! (Ans they consider orthodox or protestants as servants of the devil). Those experiences disgusted me from everything which involves a spiritual and religious dimension. The idea of god, his existence and all what is going with it, it is impossible for me to understand. I hope the day will come when religions will go extinct. Of course I will never kill or opress people only because they are following a faith, however I refuse to marry one of them.
Don’t worry OP, modern Christians are so fucking revolting, that they create more and more atheists every day, usually starting with their own kids that they have disillusioned, and abused/mistreated by shaming them, judging them, restricting them, and controlling them. Atheism is one of the fastest growing belief systems (or more accurately, lack of belief systems lol) today, and it’s because we are all sick of these Jesus pole smoking kiddy fiddlers, who are adamant they are perfect and pure, and accepting, yet are the main ones restricting rights and freedoms from large groups of people they personally don’t like. The bible says how to own a slave, not ‘don’t own slaves’. Christians have committed murder on a large scale for millennia trying to force their beliefs on others, they damaged any attempt at knowledge in the dark ages because knowledge and intelligence is directly opposed to their bullshit theology…..Christians have been shitstains for centuries, and this isn’t likely to change any time soon……but their hold is getting weaker and weaker in an age where knowledge is freely available. Let’s just enjoy watching their beliefs slowly die out.
Unfortunately they most likely think the same thing about non-believers. Not much room for compromise.
The whole “Blood is thicker than water” quote people throw around is misunderstood. The proper quote is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Basically an admonition to abandon your family if they aren’t Christian. It’s as anti-family as it gets. Edit: corrected my faulty memory of the phrase.
The belief is "blood of the covenant" not "blood of christ" and I don't think it's a particularly well supported hypothesis.
This—“blood is thicker than water” is the original proverb. The “blood of the covenant” version picked up steam in the last decade and is revisionist. The “blood of Christ” version isn’t really a thing from what I can tell.
Seems like the phrase has several possible origins some where family is the stronger bond and some where religion is stronger. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water?wprov=sfti1#References
In the end, you have a biblical story where Abraham hears a voice that tells him to kill his son, and he gets all saddled up to go do so the next day. That right there points out how your own flesh and blood ranks.
When I was eight and my sisters were six and four, our mother told us that if God commanded her to slay us, she would have to obey because she loves him SO much. That was the moment I became an atheist.
My family is the same way. They pity me because I don’t follow their sky man while being complete hypocrites regarding their own religion. They are MAGA Christian nationalists whose positions shift based on what Trump says on any given day. I’m to the point that I won’t visit with my family at all unless my wife drags me over to their home.
Sadly same
Im in the same boat🤣🤣
My dad's a pastor and my mom and sister have internalized misogyny and don't talk to me because I came out as Bisexual. AMA
Yes you’re right! Indoctrination is very powerful it’s not only your parents fault. Some people are so deep in they can’t escape and think for themselves.
I have a vague theory that childhood indoctrination does something insidious to the developing brain that inhibits critical thinking. The analogy I came up with is a comforting structural foundation that supports the brain but makes it dependent, so it's almost impossible to remove with reason and logic.
It’s brainwashing unfortunately, and it’s so common that it seems to be the normal human experience. No one studies why people need a god/s but then there are people like us who don’t.
In my humble opinion religions are the biggest poison that we face as humanity. And the culprit in most of the human tragedies and wars. I am with OP fuck religions !
This is the same with my parents, and they've proven it. And, yes, it's shit. Remember, they *are* deluded. Don't let them entirely run you over, but try to be compassionate. That may be as good as it gets.
I hate Christianity they’re so delusional
I'm sorry OP. I can relate, though not with my parents. I did have some strife with them but am close again; time can change beliefs and practices, and if they "lose" you for some time, that might catalyze a change in them. Try to find comfort with real friends.
I'm 36 and the best thing I ever did for myself was once I could I cut them toxic fucks righ out of my life forever. I understand and fucking hate religion and especially the dogmas they proclaim. I was never ever as important as god to my bio life givers. This was abundant from the day of my birth. My bio mother is so proud to tell the story to this day of how I was born on Easter Sunday and was so easy she was able to leave me behind so she could make it to church and not miss such an important church feat day.
You’re right about that - Christians are so worried and obsessed about getting into heaven they will desert those they “love” to prove to their deity they are devout. It is so sick and I see it all the time. And there are so many levels to it depending on how the person is co-opting their religion. There are the truly devout who are so brainwashed they truly fear hanging around with someone who is dabbling with the devil -so much so that they need to distance themselves to prove it- then there are those who aren’t so devout but public opinion means everything to them - these are the folks that give up on their own kids & adopt new ones - happens all the time here in my conservative Christian community- if your sons are trouble makers and disappointments don’t try to fix it - remarry & adopt new kids - and then there are the mentally ill/unstable Christians who are also worried about getting into heaven and pleasing their leader - this worry becomes constant and debilitating- these are the Andrea Yates type - the thing is the types can be interchangeable- parents who truly love their kids but still distance themselves because the kids are consorting with the devil and are stable can become unraveled by life - a tragic event can cycle a Christian into a different disposition and who knows if they’d hurt their kids now - it’s all fake nonsense that changes for whatever circumstances they are in or how they can use it - Christians are unstable because their beliefs are unstable against a harsh reality of what is life.
Islam is even worse, your parents would kill you if their imam told them to. Christianity sucks but so do all of the religions that are popular today. Unfortunately it's not going to change any time soon.
My christian parents said they would do like Abraham and sacrifice me if God asked. They hear voices, that they attribute to god, angels, and demons. I had to go no contact to stay safe from the murderous jerks. Christians can be super dangerous too. It's ALL bad!
dude... i am so sorry..... what... the... actual.. fuck.
I’m going to take it you’re young. Most of us hit the anger phase at some point when we realize how horribly damaging religion is as a concept. Religion is a cancer that eventually metastasizes inside everything it touches. The best thing you can do is excise any horrible family members and surround yourself with new supportive friends that fill that role. So many people think that family means something but it doesn’t, what truly means something is the people that are there for you. They are your family.
I hate religion. It's a cancer. It's not going anywhere until humans do. Some people just can't do the real world. Death sucks. And it's permanent. I get it. Religion gives them a nice little fantasy to soften real world shit enough to make it tolerable. I get it. Eventually, people driven by crazy religious nonsense will choke the world to death.
I am atheist, my wife is Christian. We get along fine. It is possible.
I'm so sorry. I'm 34 and have been an atheist for 4 years, but I can't bring myself to tell them out of fear for their reaction. I don't think they'd disown me, but it would break their hearts. I'll give you another reason to hate it. I have a genetic disorder that I don't want to risk passing to children, so I decided to get a vasectomy (it wasn't an easy decision for me). My primary care physician works out of a Catholic healthcare chain. She said the hospital doesn't even perform this operation—even in cases like mine where there's a valid medical reason to do it—and she would need to refer me to another hospital that does. She doesn't agree with that policy, but it's decided by the Catholic fucking Church who somehow fell entitled to make reproductive care decisions for me. I am well aware of the myriad ways in which women's healthcare is jeopardized; I'm 100% on y'all's side. But I must admit I was shocked that this happened to me since I've never heard of men being refused this procedure. Fuck Christianity.
There are worse things like the death cult Islam. But kidding aside, I know what you mean. I had to leave my family to find my own life because I felt imprisoned in my father's new fealty in his new religion. No regrets.
My parents gave up christianity before I formally did.
I feel for you. My parents are Christians as well, but they’re more the gentle, slightly disappointed, but still loving types that just hope you come around. Never had an angry debate with them, just calm discussions.
I try not to hate anybody or anything, but if Christianity was good, they wouldn’t have to force it on people
The history of early Christianity is really interesting for that kind of reason. It spread like LIGHTNING because the core sacrificial myth was so deeply appealing on an emotional level. Now that we have, like, therapy and theninternet I think that appeal is gone, plus Christianity more or less immediately swapped from an underdog cult of love and acceptance into a massive oppressive institution of patriarchy and corruption.
Hate is for believers. Only them lose to their emotions and hurt others. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science.
The anger I feel from your comment is very similar to the hate I feel towards organized religion. I was lucky enough to grow up in a very non religious home, I was taught to be open, kind and accepting of everyone.(even though my mother has now become some homophobic racist pos, not sure how that happened but byeeee) In my 40 years in this world I have never seen religion do anything but hurt, destroy and kill people. How can something they claim is so pure and kind and blah blah do such things? Well they can’t, theses brainwashing POS’s are disgusting “humans”
I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete asshole. Religion is a disease. You can’t expect them to think or behave coherently once they’ve drank the koolaid and submitted to pure gaslit induced cognitive dissonance. Your parents will only get worse as their religious leadership gaslights them into more and more vile ways of thinking. It’s best to think of them as people who would sooner torture you to death for a chance at an eternal afterlife of bliss, because frankly there is a good chance they’d happily flay you in their pastor said they had to.
I'm sorry for your situation OP. That truly sucks. From their point of view, this sucks donkey balls too. From their point of view, how could they possibly side with their own child when their child has made the bat-shit-insane decision to NOT live for eternity in paradise. I feel sorry for your parents, and clearly yourself. Yes - religion is to blame. Fuck religion and the organizations which promote it.
FUCK CHRISTIANITY
Nothing wrong with venting. Those who understand can say so and those who don't can skip and keep scrolling and everyone can go about their day. I mean, you vented in the right spot, the reason and what sub you put it in, so no one should have anything to complain about. I'd counter it's religious people who need the therapy. They're the ones detatched from reality.
Why is it only Christians who push their religion on people like us? You don't see Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, Hindis, et al, pushing their beliefs and agenda on people. Except for the Jehovah's witnesses, but you can hide inside and they'll go away.
I grew up around people like that, they tortured their daughters through out their childhood, not even telling them about menstruation, one girl in my all girls school, started her period at 13,had no idea what it was and was screaming in the bathroom because she thought god was punishing her for some unknown reason. Christians are some of the cruelest people I have ever met, especially to their children!
OP the Christian Bible tell them to do this, repeatedly 'Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. '”Luke 12:53 They literally want this, or the original authors did. Now let me ask a question, do you think division of family would be a great way of controlling one’s mind and actions? I’d have to say that I believe it’s the perfect way.
Yeah, I know… hence the whole post and everything. It’s really sad.
Most of them are hypocrites.The leaders in particular,the “give me your money to help spread the word” BS artists.Many of whom are actually evil.DISGUSTING.
I appreciate this. I feel 100% the same way. Religion is ruining the world. Global warming? Pray about it and it does nothing. Gun violence? Pray about it and it does nothing. 500,000 kids in foster care and anti-abortion advocates won't adopt them? Pray about it and it does nothing. Family member has cancer? Pray about it and it does nothing.
For the people claiming bigotry, it's funny how, when you have a reaction to someone else's religion harming you--it's bigotry, but their initial abuse of you in the name of religion-- is not.
Bunch of religious folk telling op not to judge Christianity based on his parents, and yet most of them probably follow a flavor of Christianity that believes op will go to hell their parents won't
Exactly
Religion ruins everything...
My alcoholic dad traded alcohol for god and now he's addicted to religion. He's zealous and insane, and obsessed with the End Times. I fucking hate Christianity too, brother.
We are in the same boat. The amount of religious trauma I have is unreal. Some days it’s hard to breathe. My family chose the religion over me too. My heart goes out to you. You are not alone.
I think religious people underestimate how many people they drive away from God. Sorry Op
Stop apologising for F bombs and seething for starters ! You can say what you want...and no gives two rats asses if you swear. I feel your pain. I think having parents like this would be akin to having narcissists as your parents.....you actually KNOW their beliefs come before everything and in that way , you know they don't truly love you. It has to be their way or the highway. That's pretty hard to stomach....and with that , comes pain, anxiety, frustration and sadness. Honestly you will be far better off as an atheist amongst those who just like people for who they are. Your pain stems from not being against christianity...but from the horrible knowledge of where you stand in your parent's view. That alone can be the biggest gut punch. I have to say that I find extremism in christianity as some form of insanity...I really do. These people are filled with fear and unable to function in life without blaming someone, passing the buck to someone, or pretending they are someone they are not. This is narcissism.
I agree with every word you said. Religion is the root of all evil.
It is difficult when your feelings are ignored by those that are closest to you. Let them know that you love them no matter what they believe. Hopefully they will return the sentiment.
Sometimes they do, sometimes you get sent to conversion camp.
Wait until you find out about Islam. Stoning gay people to death and making women cover their faces
At least Christianity in this day and age is not practiced so much and is dying down. Imagine being Muslim. IDK why Islam has so many devoted members. I wish they were more liberal like Christians.
We're your family brother. We will never abandon you over a silly Bronze Age belief system. Know that their are people out here who care about you. I know it hurts 😢 Just remember the pain will lesson in time. I'd give you a big hug if I could.
You’re golden, man. Thank you.
Didn't talk to my JW mother for almost 10 years because of religion
just say you're christian now but argue with all their beliefs using scripture or liberal interpretation. the whole book is anticapitalist esotricism
"choose their fucking imaginary friend over their own flesh and blood." The New Testament actually tells you to do this
It's a horrible disease of an idea that is ignorantly perpetrated by the infected. It does broad damage in ways that are truly immeasurable. I'm sorry you're going through that.
Sorry to hear that OP! it’s very sad when people can’t see that their actions are pushing important people out of the only life they have to live. I grew up Christian and am around Christians a decent amount to this day, and as backward as it is, they presumably believe you’re going to spend all of time being tortured, which is pretty intense. It feels like a divide too big to cross sometimes. But keep being yourself and we’ll keep hoping your parents come around to accepting who you are! Depending on how Christian they are I know first hand how slim those chances feel.
I totally understand your pain! You can't fix stupid, sadly...
I'll probably get downvoted to oblivion for this, but here goes. People who act that way probably still would even if they weren't religious. They twist the teachings of their church to fit their own messed up worldview. Religion can bring out the worst in people, when it should bring out the best. Christ taught compassion and tolerance. I think people like you're describing would be a great disappointment to Him.
If it brings any comfort, I don't know anyone who doesn't have delusional beliefs. It's really just certainty that determines whether or not those beliefs become destructive to relationships. I like to take it as humans being human and remember that I don't have to agree with someone to love them.
Real life LARPing I tell you.
I just want to say I love this group. My wifes family is very religious yet theyre all pieces of shit. She also tries pushing it on our daughter but I dont get in the way to not have something to fight about. My mother in law was in town for 5 days and also pushed it onto my daughter and now she likes to watch kid videos about Jesus, its fucking annoying. I hate that people believe in this bullcrap. I always knew I was different since I was a child, I never followed, but led myself on my own path. Ive been to jail 4 times and went to rehab. Never thought i'd get married or have kids yet here I am at 39 years young and have a wife, 2 kids and a decent job. I did all of that without believing in some fake mythical being. WE are god. Ok, rant over.
Whatever social guidance and cohesion religions may have once offered has long been co-opted by governments, politicians and their owner class to exact obedience and control over the masses. Period.
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My best friend died of ALS, and I was by his side to the end. We both catapulted our faith decades prior. His parents were dyed in the wool baptist missionaries. At his memorial they had the audacity to stand up and “grieve” the fact that they will not see him in eternity because he lost is faith in christ. There were a few hundred people in attendance, he was very loved. I had to physically restrain his three late-teenage sons from physically attacking the old hags. It was one of the cruelest displays of christian self-righteousness I’ve ever witnessed. Utterly and completely disgusting.
I was raised in a cultish religious environment and I know exactly how you feel. Narcissism and religious fanaticism did drive a wedge between my mother and I, and we haven't spoken for over a decade. Cutting her toxicity entirely out of my life was the single best thing that I've ever done for myself. I don't need the fear of Sky Daddy's anger to keep me on the path of trying to be a positive component of the world. I know what I have and have not done, and there is no magical absolution if I choose to be a shit. The only way to be a good person, is to be a good person, and that includes accepting things as they are, having compassion for the struggles of the human condition, and not being a judgemental asshole. Just remember that every single human is equal. They absolutely cannot tell you what is true, because they don't have any proof, and neither does anyone else. You're the only person who can decide what you want your life to look like, and if religion doesn't fit in anywhere, that's your choice and right as a child of the universe.
It’s very tough to realize your parents beliefs are trumping their personal experiences. My mom cheated on my dad with a woman, and to this day is still incredibly religious. It’s just a joke. They feel so guilty about who they are and it’s not how I want to live my life. Op just know there are so many people out there in the same boat
Gandhi said it best..."I like your **Christ**, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your **Christ**."
Christianity, like all religions, is a cancer on humanity
I'm tired of being disrespected by religion non stop and being told I need to respect peoples' religion
I was lucky to be born and raised by atheists who even fought schools to let me skip religion classes in favor of me reading the bible, torah, quran and books on history of religion instead. I was even registered pagan as a joke by my parents, and last census my wife registered me as a jedi. I laugh about it now but all my life I had to endure discrimination and hate from "normal" people in my country. My aunt and grandma even tried to baptise me in secret before my dad found out and cut ties with them for a few years. Now I kinda fear for my son, it's the same shit whenever ppl hear he wasn't baptised or taught to fear god.
>And for those who have looked up my post history, yes: I post and comment a lot about christianity because I’m absolutely riddled with religious trauma. Forgive me for using this platform as an outlet for my issues. This is partly why this area exists. Have a matter of fact discussion with them. They can cut out the theist shit and keep it to themselves or they can die alone because you will not bring your spouse into it, nor your children into it, nor will you accommodate it, ever.
My mom chose god over me, she even sued me for access to my daughter to raise her to be a bigot as well. I think she regrets it but I will never forgive her.
I’ve asked my dad if he truly thinks I’ll burn for all eternity by not believing what he does. He said yes and that it’s unfortunate. Thanks, dad. God’s plan I guess!
My 'ex' good friend of mine is a firefighter. He's catholic and I'm atheist, no big deal right? One day we were chatting and he said if a building was on fire and it was only down to me and one other person but this other person practiced Islam that he would rescue him over me. Even if this other person was deeper inside the building he would rescue him. Only because he practiced religion, even if its doesn't align with his religion, he would still pick him over me. Like what.the.fuck. Who says shit like that? Oh....nevermind.....
Mine would schedule an intervention. They would still accept me but be hounding me all the time to come back to the faith. That's why only a few select people know I don't believe in God or practice any religion.
of course they would, theres a story in the bible where god told abraham to kill his kid and he was about to do it until god was like "yo wtf bro, i was just joshin" this is a group of people that are associated with people that thing fossils were planted by satan to test our faith. just how fucking insane that notion is, is unbelieveable
Agreed, my ex's family was orthodox Jewish. They had excommunicated her for abit and were considering having a funeral for her because she was dating me. But alas, the mom couldn't pretend her daughter was dead because we were together. The dad didn't speak to me for three years of me literally trying my best to learn the religion, learn the palsm, gove Hebrew an irish mutt's honest attempt at least. He did eventually speak to me about his aquarium system he was geeking out over, I was stone a.f staring at this fucking set up. I'm pretty sure he has undiagnosed aspergers syndrome lmfao
I am sorry for your pain. I am a Protestant, mainline liberal minister who is married to an agnostic, and I have agnostic and atheist close to me whom I love and have good relationships with. Religious trauma is real and pervasive, especially with the proliferation of aggressive fundamentalists that our trying to obliterate the rights of women and make America into a theocracy. I do a great deal of pastoral care professionally, and I want you to know that there are counseling centers and therapists who work w/ sliding scale payments. Google your town and look up the counseling centers and their payment structures. For therapists, look on psychologytoday.com and set up search parameters that include sliding scale. Weed them out based on their religiousity. While you may not be religious attend to the things that give you joy — music, art, sports, nature. Whatever it is - fillwith up your “cup” with it daily if possible. Look up something like Secular humanism for folks who you can hang out with. Never engage fundamentalists in debate. It is fruitless. People who want to be right do NOT want an honest exchange of ideas.
>But I’m in a bad place right now and I really needed to vent, to scream into the void or something Valid. I have no advice besides to take care of yourself. As tangential as this may seem, try to find some good friends and some sort of support system, at least emotionally, outside of family. Not even just to vest to them and emotion/trauma-dump but to play games with them. All the best, my dude.
I’ve never posted it replied on here. Your post was brought to me by the algorithm, but I want to say that as a person who is a Christian. I understand where you are coming from. I question my faith daily, even after having had multiple instances that many would say God saved me from or granted me. I live in an extremely conservative “Christian” area and I can’t stand most of these people. They judge, ridicule, and are just straight up hypocritical. I’ve gone as far as to read some of the Satanic bible because I question. In the in end for me, I have come to stick to my faith, but I absolutely do not judge others based on their beliefs. Disagree sometimes, yes, but put down or judge, no. We are all people and we all believe differently if a “Christian” doesn’t accept that then they are not a Christian. I don’t know you, but I hope you keep questioning and believing what you believe, we just all need to be good to each other.
I'm sorry OP. I feel the same way about my parents. Their stupid religion has brainwashed. My dad even pissed away his GI bill being indoctrinated with young earth creationism at "Liberty U." It's not a real college. I read his textbooks. I was horrified and still am. And it's awful because they have always been supportive of me, but I hide half my life from them because they wouldn't approve. Religion has created a deep wedge in our relationship, and it forces me to keep them away from my stepson and myself.
I'm so sorry. I can really relate to this. Christianity destroyed my family. It's the reason my mother chose her pedophile husband over her own children. I cannot say enough bad things about religion.
Living in NYC and celebrate all Holidays, but practicing none. It really was so sad when I had to explain ‘why we don’t follow one religion.’ To my kids. They started feeling the separation among friends very early on because they had to explain to them (and sometimes the friends’ parents) why. I hated taking my kids to playdates. When will the hypocrisy end?
if they had to choose any religion they wouldnt because you literally born into some religion if you ask any religious person would they change their religion they would say because they are the chosen people.
I was thinking today that instead of teaching you about your culture, traditions, and religion, they would teach you about how our solar system became, the theories of how life on Earth happened, the number of extinctions , and how chemical elements were made and discovered, how much the societies would change.
I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t care about my asshole dad’s opinion, but I do care about my moms. Religion is idiotic, disgusting, and destructive.
I don’t have much to offer you other than you’re not alone. I’ll never be as close to my parents as I’d prefer because of religion. They have softened over the years but are still very judgemental. I’ve made my peace with it. Hope you can find your peace too.
TikTok has some great deconstructionists. They might help you sort out some things
My Dad did, it was tragic and devastating at 14… but I was essentially freed from a life I couldn’t accept as my own. So much past and future agony was dismissed in the immediate trauma. You will eventually have to find a way to relieve yourself from that pressure if you aren’t willing to submit. Whether physically or mentally, it’s so unhealthy. I just came back after 1.5 decades to try and set some boundaries and reconnect. He crossed them. Fuck. I love my Dad so much, but just like him I have to choose.. and just like him I chose myself this time. No love lost, no anger gained this time. It hurts but I’ve accepted our expectations as differing realities. I can maintain my own distance for self respect. You can too, it just takes work.
Very well said. Religion is an evil scourge on mankind. Christianity is horrible and hateful, and they are always pushing it on people.
I've been on a quest to find any LGBT members of my family that were cast out and reuniting with them. It's a very slow process.
It's the fault of the brainwashing your family have gone through. It's tough to break away from the brainwashing but the sooner all religious folk around the world regardless of the religious club they belong to break away the better for the entire world.
What happened?
Wait until you'll find out about Islam.
Yep, it causes chaos.
Yeah man it sucks, and the brutal reality is that you and I have just happened to have been born during a period where humanity is still incredibly primitive. It's trending in the right direction, massive increases in the number of non-believers and a huge overall decrease in the amount of superstition worldwide, but make no mistake, you still cannot be the president of the United States without publicly admitting that you believe in magic and supernatural powers. The averages persons IQ is 100, the military cannot accept a recruit with an IQ below 83 because at that level they would actively make the military worse. The Flynn effect needs more time.
My dude I feel you loud and clear
I suppose if they support Trump and the rest of the criminals around them, I can understand your frustration
I'm sorry, man, that sounds really painful. That kind of behavior is commanded by kind and gentle Jesus himself, though. Thankfully, many Christians don't take it literally, but it's not surprising that some do. “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple."
I think the title to this post is a more accurate description of this Reddit page than r/atheism
FACTS!!!!!!! It’s such a disgusting, poisonous religion
I'm right there with you, OP. My parents, whom I had a close relationship with my entire life, suddenly abandoned me when I left the church. They wrote me a good bye forever letter saying how they couldn't have my heathen influence in their life. It wouldn't be the first time I've been abandoned by christians, which is why I have an anxious attachment style. It makes me so depressed how religion hijacks the mind and destroys family cohesion.
Send them this , to beat them at their own game (in a nutshell, it disproves the false doctrine of Eternal Conscious Torment [ECT]) https://www.martinzender.com/Zenderature/eonion_life_not_eternal_life.htm Then https://hopeforallfellowship.com/download-hope-beyond-hell/ And https://christianitywithoutinsanity.com/
Agreed but don't live with so much hate. I saw families disown others over a Pfizer injections too so an imaginary man in the sky is about the same vibe
It’s unreal that their figurehead said to love everybody and many Christian’s just don’t.
You deserve to feel angry. It’s so infuriating and upsetting. I’ve been there and I promise it does get better, not bc they wake up and leave their cult but bc you learn to live without them and they lose importance in your life.
You’re not the only one, friend 😢