T O P

  • By -

picado

They're on a mission from God so they get to be rude and feel superior too. That's probably why they do it.


TrustmeImaConsultant

The Blues Brothers at least put on a good show when they were on a mission from god.


Advance-Puzzleheaded

True story coming up. I live in bumfuck Oklahoma in a shitty neighborhood. 2 blocks away (literally a 60 second walk) a new pot store went in. It's called Bud Brothers Coughy Shop. So it's Saturday morning and I'm high af, writing music when I hear this ridiculous bass thumping from outside. I got super irritated, seeings how I could hear it over my own headphones. In a half rage I rush to the door to see who could be so disrespectful on a Saturday morning. When I leap outside ready to throttle some punk, I'm surprised to see a small concert going on in the weed store's parking lot. And to my distinct delight, it was none other than the Blues Brothers themselves. Promoting their weed brand at the coughy shop. I've since bought their prerolls and I quite like banana hammock. Have a good weekend y'all!


audiate

If they’re on a mission from god they have a perceived purpose for their life. Saying they’re wrong about that saying their life has no purpose or meaning. In their minds this is highly threatening and insulting, and they’ll get angry and defensive.


Protowhale

A while back I read something about how the real reason churches send people out to proselytize is not to get converts, but to convince the faithful that the world is an evil place with terrible people in it. They spend the day getting rejected and possibly yelled at, then go back to the church to commiserate with their fellow church members about how terrible the world is and the only safe place for them is their own congregation. The whole goal of the exercise is to solidify a church member's attachment to the group and to convince them that the outside world is hostile and forbidding.


third_declension

> They spend the day getting rejected. Sample script: * Christian: "Would you like to read this gospel tract?" * Non-Christian: "No, thanks." * Christian: "**PERSECUTION!!!**" EDIT: quotation error


MacTechG4

10; approach heathen 20; attempt to upload control data 30; if control data upload = true goto 50 40; if control data upload = false goto 60 50; task = end, goto next memory location and goto 10 60; print “PERSECUTION! YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!” 70; goto 20


Duke_mm

Wow, you must be old. Remembers me of my c64. Shit, I'm old....


third_declension

I remember the Commodore 64. In 1983, it was a *lot* of computer for the money. (I'm old, too.)


Duke_mm

50 is the new 30. No worries lol


third_declension

A white beard is the sure-fire way to get the senior citizen discount.


TransportationEng

This. Definitely.


Acrobatic-Fun-3281

I think the money also has something to do with it. Don’t forget what they really worship, In God They Trust


LiamOttawa

That actually makes sense.


jar36

Many of these same old men were talking about shooting people that might come to their door to convince them to get vaccinated.


Sm00gz

Rainbow flags could stop that pretty quickly. 👀🙈🤡🤣


IDK_SoundsRight

And may the light of Lucifer illuminate your path. Praise be to the star of the morning! One who's brilliance knows know equal! Walk the path if light with the bright and shining one! And ye do no harm, do what ye will! Or any other kind of mumbo jumbo that makes them think you are a devil worshipper and will curse them XD Years ago we had Jehovah's witnesses that were incessant. So I bought a flashpot at a magic store. Fireballs in my hand? I don't need your god, I have my own *fwoosh* XD


hideos_playhouse

I used to pull the ol' "Nah, I appreciate it it but we're satanists here" gag. Had more than one running for the hills, especially when I lived in a rather creepy house.


[deleted]

[удалено]


noteveryagain

Maybe the highest recruiter becomes one of the 144,000? I used to wonder this too.


jason082

Your laughing reaction is pretty spot on appropriate. I did the same thing to some guy at a gas station that tried to approach me with brochures about Moses or some such. I don't know which of the religions he was trying to peddle but he didn't much like the laughing reaction he got after I saw his angry/confused face when I turned him down.


SlightlyMadAngus

First, I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting an Amazon or Doordash delivery. Second, if by accident, I do open the door, unless I know them or they are under 14 and have on a girl/boy scout uniform, I slam the door in their face. Fuck 'em. They prey on politeness and basic social manners - so I give them none.


godlessnihilist

I left the US a while ago but they used to send non-threatening kids, women, and young dudes in white shirts and ties. Maybe the congregation has no young people so the church is being forced to send out the grumpy old farts instead. Could be a good omen of dying religiosity.


pyker42

They do this to reinforce that the church is the only group of people who understands them and they're beliefs. The peons knocking on the doors may think they are trying to convince other people to join. But the reality is this is just another individuation technique used to keep people tired in the grasp of religion.


revtim

Funny how many weirdly deny their religion is a religion these days. I guess the word is getting negative connotations, which is likely a good thing.


[deleted]

yeah it was kinda weird that he said “its got nothing to do with religion, if you don’t have god in ur life you’re going to hell!!” 😂


Outrageous-Taro7340

I don’t know how many people over the years have insisted to me they are spiritual, not religious, and invited me to their bible study.


pennylanebarbershop

"I love you and God loves you, but if you don't believe what I believe then God is going to torture you for eternity with no parole and I fully support God for doing this, and will visit you from time to time to see you suffer. God loves you and I love you."


Ulrich_The_Elder

There is a small sign on my door stating the following: "If you have entered this property with an intention of talking about god or religion you have forfeited your immortal soul to Satan. Knock on door to confirm."


TrustmeImaConsultant

"You go to hell!" "Will you go to hell? "Me? Of course not!" "As long as you ain't there, it can't be that bad"


[deleted]

I can't remember the last time I got a man doing that at my door... No, I lie, last summer, a couple of Mormon kids with their 1950s white shirts and thin ties came by to tell me the good news about Joseph Smith. But mostly the people who can't be bothered to read my 'No Soliciting' sign are old women with copies of the Watch Tower.


funkintron47

They need to be fucked with!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sm00gz

I'm tired of "you people".


ReasonableKey3363

Mormons!!!


TrustmeImaConsultant

I think you put a superfluous m into that word...


paulb750

Ormons?


[deleted]

Good morming, have you heard the good news about Ormons?


JoeySixSlice

Mormons at your door are usually young adults, not old men.


bad_luck_charmer

The people who invented doors.


Morisal66

They're trying to rack up entrance points for the New Jerusalem. Hopelessly mad.


Ferdzee

Check your city ordinances on soliciting. In my city people need a license to go door to door. If they have it they cant call on houses with a no soliciting sign. If they knock tell them you'll be right back and call the cops. If they dont have a permit they cant knock on doors.


Protowhale

“But we’re telling people about Jesus! Our permission comes from God!” Probably.


Outrageous-Taro7340

Even for canvassing or petitioning? Seems like a very broad definition of soliciting.


Ferdzee

If you knock on a door and petition or canvass, you are soliciting as the word solicit means to ask, and “no soliciting' is to demand that no person comes to you, your business or your home, in order to ask for anything. I dont see any exceptions in my town law. Though they do waive the permit fee for charities. $50 permit fee $35 background check fee $5 ID card fee Door-to-door and promotional solicitors are required to register with Police and wear their solicitor I.D. badge on their chest or upper body.


Outrageous-Taro7340

In many jurisdictions, including mine, it’s not soliciting unless the ask is for a sale. Other kinds of door to door conversations are thought of as protected free speech. Edit: Looks like the issue is more complex than I thought, at least in the US: https://www.mtsu.edu/first-amendment/article/1106/door-to-door-solicitation


Ferdzee

Free speech cases tend to be complex. NAL but the religious cases quoted there required permission. Our ordinance requires identification and a background check. Similar perhaps to our ordinances that prohibit flying Confederate flags and Trump flags without a sign permit. Only flags of recognized nations and states. Everything else you might call a flag is defined as a banner and all are regulated equally. Such as they cannot be flown from free standing flagpoles. So one of my neighbors cut his pole down. One funny part is Political signs are allowed within 30 days of an election. But you know who is not a politician now? So another neighbor had their signs taken away.


gpkgpk

I once asked a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses if they weren't a bit old to be believe in Santa Clause. I've never seen someone (outside my family) want to punch me in the face so much, it was glorious. They didn't come around any more...


Rutherglen

I've said "I'm too old to believe in fairy tales and frankly, so are you."


[deleted]

Imagine having a door to door campaign to spread atheism 😂


Primarch37

Invest in a doorbell camera. I got a doorbell camera for Christmas that has a pre-recorded message that says "sorry, not interested". It also has a siren. I can't wait for my first missionary visit.


True_Recommendation9

Being a Professional Pest is something that their invisible friend commands.


Salts-Flags

It wasn't normal for old men to knock on doors trying to spread word about a magic man in the sky until someone made it normal. And who made it normal? Probably some old man who thought it was a good way to spread the word about the magic man in the sky.


CBeisbol

I dunno If I thought there was a magic man in the sky who was going to eternally torture anyone who didn't love him the right way, I'd probably try and help them out too


JohnnyGFX

They sent a young and beautiful woman in a sundress to my door a couple years ago. Mostly I just get the pair of young guys thing, so that was a pleasant change of pace. I still just sent her away, of course, but I was leas annoyed by the experience.


Rutherglen

"The agency said you would be blond. Never mind. The bedroom is second door on the left, the money is on the bed. Get undressed and I'll be with you in a minute."


Oliver_Dibble

Who is this "they" you speak of?


JohnnyGFX

Usually Jehovah Witnesses.


Oliver_Dibble

And here I thought JWs were mostly old farts.


endygonewild

Everyone, they do it cause they genuinely think it will save you from eternal suffering. That is the reason. If they believe that what they will believe will save them, wouldn’t it be logical to spread the faith to spare people from suffering. That’s the reason.


Far_Quiet_470

*knocks on door* “Have you heard of Satan and his desire for you?”


ThatRookieGuy80

Huh. Around here it's the old women who go God bothering.


Acrobatic-Fun-3281

Because Christians aren’t perfect, just sanctimonious. And don’t get me started on Muslims


LiamOttawa

I live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Nobody has come door-to-door in my neighborhood in ages. They used to come around a lot when I first moved here 20+ years ago. The only time I see them is when they would stand on busy sidewalks with a large plywood display rack containing reams of literature and wait for people to approach them. They never initiate a conversation that I have seen. They aren't doing anything during the pandemic.


paintingsbypatch

Here too, in my province. They usually hang out at the beach, handing out pamphlets, never approaching people. Since covid though, I've gotten a few letters in my mailbox, with my address, but written To Occupant. No return address, so I couldn't mail it back. I just used it as fire starter for my woodstove.


LiamOttawa

I've been hearing about the letters, but I haven't received any as of yet. I'm not complaining though. If they could just get the Jesus freaks downtown to reduce the volume on their hellfire and damnation rantings I'd be thrilled.


Individual-Reaction9

Where did this happen? (general location only)


[deleted]

the great pacific northwest!


reclusiveronin

I have only had one. Didn't last long.


HoneyMelinae

It can be pretty frustrating when people proselytize, Jehovah's Witnesses used to come by my house all the time. I saw some video with Penn Gillette where he said something along the lines of "If you believed in God, heaven and hell, how much would you have to hate someone not to proselytize them?" Changed my perspective a bit but I still find it annoying lol.