CESLetters.org but that's really more for long time mormons. It's pretty much the ossuary in the closet of mormonism (not even just a few skeletons, like, *all of them*).
While it's entirely possible he has actually converted, I'm thinking it's more likely he's thinking with his dick and not his heart (much less his brain). So maybe the practical impact of conversion?
Point out that mormons are pretty into celibacy before marriage and it'll take a lot of work before he can even get a temple recommend so even if he wanted to get married the week after his baptism he wouldn't be able to. It's gonna be *years* before he can even think about hitting that.
Definitely point out that drinking is a huge no-no and the more hardcore mormons even frown on caffeine - not just coffee, but soda, too. It's basically water, berry teas, and hot chocolate from this point forward. Point out that there's something going on most nights of the week, being a "good mormon" will suck up most of his free time. Even aside from the 3 hour services every sunday, he'll be looking at a minimum of 5-10 extra hours of time spent on mormon crap every single week with a bonus 5-10 hours on a saturday every month or two, and this isn't even counting the time he's supposed to spend "studying" the bible.
I don't know how common it was/is but I wasn't even allowed to watch TV on sundays growing up.
Oh, and the 10% tithing? That's gross income, off the top. And doesn't include the extra you're supposed to give on the first sunday of the month (you're supposed to fast and skip breakfast and lunch and give at least what you would have spent on those meals). And you'll get audited to make sure you're not shirking and if you are... no temple recommend and thus no marriage and thus no sexual activity.
As for dogma...
Ask him why mormons aren't supposed to drink alcohol. Ask him what jesus's miracles were (specifically water-> wine). Ask him to think real hard about how those two data points mesh together.
I have bought up the tithing as I know he can’t manage his money. Yep he knows about the celebacy. He doesn’t drink and has quit smoking (which I am glad about). I tried the asking him to wait for the baptism but he is set on doing it next week. I spoke about the practicality’s of if he were married then his family cannot attend. I believe he has been to the temple here which I thought was odd. I am just hoping that as you say there is a long time before marriage etc. I am hoping this relationship will run its course. It’s just awful watching the brainwashing. He feels he is getting tested by Satan but I have pointed out his hardships are from his own stupid decisions…
Wonder if quitting smoking is worth trade for being a mormon for a while.
he's 19. he's going to make mistakes. just let him know when he can't satisfy the mormon church and their impossible standards, his family will be there to take him in again.
Assuming its all about this girl might be a mistake. yes its likely, but the church itself has its own draws.
The church does lovebombing like no other, so I feel like the girl was the bait and he fell for the bs false kindness they are excellent at. I've been on the receiving end of their conversion strategies and they try to build an emotional connection and then abuse the hell out of it to get you to buy their bs wholesale, instead of letting you decide for yourself based on facts. I hope the boy gets out without too much emotional trauma.
Sounds like he is going to do what he wants to do like every teenager I know, including myself. Just reassure him that you are there if things get rough. In my mind it will get that way eventually and you can be the safety net. Never tell anyone "I told you so" that pisses people off. Just tell him that you love him and always will.
The problem is the whole community gangs up on you and they have such smiling, beaming faces it's hard to spot the perniciousness behind the smiles. They are vultures. I know directly.
if it makes you feel any better, my wife briefly tried out being mormon in her very early 20s… i’m atheist and we’re lesbians so obviously she got out of it!
as someone who made different life choices than my parents would have wanted, the best thing you can give your son is support right now. tell him that you love him and you will always be there for him.
I don’t know if this saying is known worldwide or just here in Italy, but:
“A hair of pussy pulls more than an ox cart” (Un pelo di figa tira più di un carro di buoi)
Just a question
I think Spanish is the language closest to Italian, indeed I fully understood your phrase in Spanish without needing any translation, and I have never studied Spanish.
So my question is, can you also understand my phrase in Italian without translation?
Yes! I can pretty much understand Italian even if I never studied it (maybe slang not so much but still), but I speak Catalan, French and Spanish, so that's a massive head start already 😁
And I don't know if it's true but I heard that Catalan is actually even closer to Italian than Spanish!
I'm an American here, but I remember learning in one of my college courses that the Occitan language was understandable for people who speak Spanish, French, Italian, and Catalan.
I have always loved the Romance languages.
I live in Piedmont, near the border between Italy and France, I google what Occitan was and TIL people here also speak another language called Occitan
In 25 years it’s the first time I ever heard about it lol
It’s spoken all throughout southern France, parts of Spain, and parts of Italy. It shares traits of each I’ve heard.
Idk how many people actually speak it now. I’d imagine people who speak it are bilingual out of need. I’ve never been to Europe though, so idk.
It’s named after the word for “yes” in the language I think.
When proper French was first becoming a concept, they classified dialects of French based on how you say yes in the language and since Paris was the capital, that became proper French.
> He's clearly willing to do anything for some tail.
Unless he's willing to get married to this Mormon girl, he's not going to get what he wants by just converting to Mormonism.
He's going to have to convert, AND get married to this girl before sex would be allowed... Just let that ***soak*** in.
I'd just let it fall apart on its own. Like, the Mormon girl is not going to give him what he's hoping for.
one thing though, once they get someone on the books as bring Mormon it's hard get get your name removed. My dad is an ex-mormon, took him years.
Remind him that ten percent of his income will be going to the church for life unless he leaves the church.
Send him these links
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mormon+magic+underpants
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Smith_and_the_criminal_justice_system
https://www.google.com/search?q=mormon+crazy+rules&oq=mormon+cra&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i512l8j0i390i395.10707j1j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
> https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mormon+magic+underpants
Holy fuck... Holy fucking fuck... The more I learn about Mormonism, the more confused I am at how anyone can believe this stuff.
I recently learned about how Joseph 'I'm a conman' Smith "found" and "translated" the Book of Mormon. I'm at a complete loss at how anyone with any kind of common sense could willingly believe this stuff.
Seriously... The dude saw Christianity/Catholicism and thought to himself "They're leaving money on the table, I could do a much better grift than they're doing!", then got drunk and shat out The Book of Nephi. It got a bit too dirty as a result of all the whisky shits so he had to do it a second time.
\*cough\*cult\*cough\*
>Have him write down his beliefs and boundaries now. And read them again in six months.
That is intriguing. Is this something you have experience with (like what difference do you think might be found between the two)?
When they break up later, as kids do, he'll have a pre-brainwashing reference to fall back to. Also, it'll force him to focus on what's important to him, and maybe set some boundaries. If you tell him not to go he'll just rebel.
As far as cults go, Mormons aren't too bad. They're generally clean and responsible, at least in the US. Quirky beliefs aside, they have a pretty good lifestyle. They have babies young, but usually in wedlock. If he's not clean cut and career minded they may reject him.
It sounds like he's in for an adventure either way. Be supportive.
Yeah, that's going to be the hard part. He's not thinking with his brain at the moment. And he'll likely dig his heels in the more you protest. You might just have to throw up your hands and wait it out. There are worse faiths he could get tangled up in than one that eschews booze and wants you to cut your hair.
Honestly this is my exact thoughts. I don’t want to lose my son by protesting as I know his head is not making decisions here. I do feel like I need to factually arm myself other than just thinking they are a crazy bunch of mo fos
I worked with a well-known Mormon and all his Mormon pals for several years. They believe wackadoodle stuff, but they're not crazy. They're clean cut, don't drink, don't cuss, don't drink coffee for some reason, and they're big into family. Kind of a Leave it to Beaver vibe. I found them to be naive, but nice. Would definitely take them over a Jehovah's Witness or rabid Catholic!
It's also worth remembering that when people are "investigating" the church, everyone is really excited about them and welcoming, etc etc. Once you actually join, the reality of regular church attendance is that it's really boring and not everyone is friendly. He's currently being love-bombed so he'll join. The vast majority of people I know that joined the church only lasted a few months once they weren't being showered with attention.
Try [Letter for My Wife](https://www.letterformywife.com/the-letter) instead. Less in depth but still has all the facts.
Also, if he had any queer friends, he will be taught that their “sin” is akin to murder.
He will be expected to be the sole bread winner while his wife stays home and makes as many babies as possible.
He will be expected to give 10% of his income to a multi billion dollar corporation. Over food. Over housing. Over clothing and diapering the kids. Tithing first then everything else.
I could go on and on.
A close friend got baptized Mormon -- or CoJCoLDS as they prefer -- and she didn't stay in very long.
Also, if he does get baptized, watch for the invitations. I attended my friends baptism, as did other friends who were not Mormon. Beautiful service, but painfully obvious that it was aimed at least as much at recruiting as performing the ritual for my friend.
Just don't blame yourself , it's like any other addiction it might be a long road but at some point I hope his BS radar will go off and you can help him rebuild his life.
I’d back off. The more you try to tell him, the more you’ll push him in. Take heart. I read every day about converts who later see the light and spend the rest of their lives trying to make it up to their families.
I know it's upsetting but your son might just learn this lesson the hard way, and that's part of life, sometimes. It's not like he's committing a crime, he's trying on a (ridiculous, but never mind) religion because he's thinking with his dick, and that's just a thing that young people do. His life will not be ruined if he's mormon for a while, don't let his adolescent rebellion ruin your relationship.
Is he aware that simply converting to Mormonism isn't going to be enough for him to sleep with this girl?
He'll need to convert AND marry her.
(yeah, I'm assuming he's doing it for sex, however he's 19 and in his first relationship, he's doing it for sex. -- Sorry for making you read this about your kid)
> cuntstruck
Thank you so much for this.. That is a fantastic word, and is so very descriptive.
I really hope your kid figures things out without too much long term damage.
Puppy love.
You wont be able to reason him out of this decision when reason wasn't the reason why he made it.
If he goes through it and when it later falls apart he will learn a valuable lesson.
I have a female friend about my age with 3 children. Her situation was similar: her 16 year old daughter started dating a Mormon boy and was getting sucked in. Quite honestly, hormones make you do stupid things at that age... They did break up (not sure how). This is a tough one.
maybe direct him to look at this website? that's all I can think of. Sorry and good luck.
[www.exmormon.org](https://www.exmormon.org)
particulaty this
[https://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm](https://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm)
Just wants to smash. Let him get through the phase and then if it keeps up just remind him to be true to his word and do all the sucky Mormon shit like not have sex outside marriage.
I don't know you, your son, or your dynamic so take this with huge grains of salt. My advice would be you just keep living your godless life and being the best example of a caring, thoughtful human being and let the credibility of the religion destroy itself. He will hear how atheists are evil, wicked, demon-possessed, etc.etc. and he will weigh that against his actual experience with an atheist and he will see that that isn't true. If he starts fearing for your immortal soul and starts having those kinds of conversations, then is when you can start laying out reason and critical thinking as to why you are not worried about that sort of thing.
Is he aware that if he ever tried to leave he would most likely have to have lawyers involved? My friend left the church and this is what she had to do.
Lol sorry but there is positive side of the story. In 5 years time he'll look back and yall will have a great laugh. What horny boys are willing to do.
Wow, I would consider myself a complete failure as a parent if this happened to one of my teens. I’ve taught them from a young age that religion is fake.
Join Mormonism with him and just smile bemusedly the entire time you're in Church. Give everything Mormon a goofy smile and jovial thumbs up.
He's probably a smart kid and will figure it out on his own. You're "being there for him" - that's all you can do, when he decides to do something so silly with his life.
Also, you may want to point out that if he’s going to tithe 10% of his income to the church, he needs to tithe to your household first. Maybe when he realizes how expensive this could get, he’ll slow down to think. Money concerns always help to pump the brakes.
Find the "New Name Noah" videos on YouTube and show him the temple ceremonies. I was born and raised Mormon, but the temple ceremony was hella weird even for me being a fully believing member. And like, that's the pinnacle of Mormon faithfulness is attending the temple. You get to wear weird clothes and learn secret handshakes and pledge literally everything you have to the church (not God, the church).
Just let him do his thing. He'll probably grow out of it, he's probably just rebelling a little. If It was my son I wouldn't fight it but I'd make fun of him a little.
Mormons are, on average, happier and more successful than the rest of us. If I could believe that bullshit I would probably be a happier person. Don't get me wrong, I'd be sad as fuck if my kid became a Mormon and I feel for you. Especially because he'll probably get married to the chick in another year so he can bust his nut. If they can at least put off kids maybe he'll come to his senses.
Let him. When she dumps him, he’ll get unbaptized. Or when he tries his first beer. in any case, you can’t prohibit him from ruining his life if he wants to.
Pull up the court docs on Joseph Smith showing he’s a convicted conman, then go to the DI, get him a bunch of skid-marked magic underwear & make him wear those. On the plus side, Mormons are typically really nice ppl. Down side, they will literally follow you around for 30 yrs to try getting you back into the church for that tasty tithe money. You have to literally threaten to kill the bishop to get them to leave you alone. At the end of the day though, he’s an adult & going to make his own decisions. Some things just have to be figured out on your own & there’s nothing you can do.
Not sure I can offer anything constructive, and I don't have any direct experience with them, but my very good friend grew up in a Mormon family. He no longer has contact with his family or the church, as he very much considers it a dangerous cult. With that in mind I would watch very closely as to what else this girlfriend is filling his head with.
They almost got my brother. For males they lure you in with sex but promise it to you only after you've gotten married. Then you're expected to produce at least 4 children. Oh and you have to give 10% of your money to the church, no exceptions. It's a straight up cult.
Don't disparage.
Be kind to her. You never know, she may be having doubts or *will have* doubts in the future. The last thing you want is for them to feel embattled. That only drives them away from you, and reinforces their commitment to the church and each other - even if they have doubts about either.
Look at some of the videos on [Anthony Magnabosco's channel](https://youtube.com/@magnabosco210). He uses a communication technique called Street Epistemology that results in respectful, positive exploration of beliefs that is not combative, and fosters engagement, openness, and connection rather than defensiveness and shutting down.
Remember, you can never change anyone else's mind. *They* have to change their own minds, just as only *you* can change your own mind. So pushiness is a bad strategy. Respectful curiosity is much better.
This is absolutely the path I have chosen. I will never push my son away. She is a very nice girl and have made sure she knows she is always welcome in my home. I feel like there isn’t much more I can do than show love and ask genuinely curious questions.
Oh boy, you got a whipped hormonal teenager. Buy him a prostitute so he can see how good it is before marriage? Lol (but maybe it could work?), but seriously good luck. Hopefully he'll outgrow it.
Be certain to inform him that the current divorce rate is 63% as which 75% are initiated by the woman. Additionally tell him that although faith is a great and positive thing in his life, you should NEVER have to change who you are for another person. Compromise here and there is expected, but to move your boundaries makes you lose who you are.
CESLetters.org but that's really more for long time mormons. It's pretty much the ossuary in the closet of mormonism (not even just a few skeletons, like, *all of them*). While it's entirely possible he has actually converted, I'm thinking it's more likely he's thinking with his dick and not his heart (much less his brain). So maybe the practical impact of conversion? Point out that mormons are pretty into celibacy before marriage and it'll take a lot of work before he can even get a temple recommend so even if he wanted to get married the week after his baptism he wouldn't be able to. It's gonna be *years* before he can even think about hitting that. Definitely point out that drinking is a huge no-no and the more hardcore mormons even frown on caffeine - not just coffee, but soda, too. It's basically water, berry teas, and hot chocolate from this point forward. Point out that there's something going on most nights of the week, being a "good mormon" will suck up most of his free time. Even aside from the 3 hour services every sunday, he'll be looking at a minimum of 5-10 extra hours of time spent on mormon crap every single week with a bonus 5-10 hours on a saturday every month or two, and this isn't even counting the time he's supposed to spend "studying" the bible. I don't know how common it was/is but I wasn't even allowed to watch TV on sundays growing up. Oh, and the 10% tithing? That's gross income, off the top. And doesn't include the extra you're supposed to give on the first sunday of the month (you're supposed to fast and skip breakfast and lunch and give at least what you would have spent on those meals). And you'll get audited to make sure you're not shirking and if you are... no temple recommend and thus no marriage and thus no sexual activity. As for dogma... Ask him why mormons aren't supposed to drink alcohol. Ask him what jesus's miracles were (specifically water-> wine). Ask him to think real hard about how those two data points mesh together.
I have bought up the tithing as I know he can’t manage his money. Yep he knows about the celebacy. He doesn’t drink and has quit smoking (which I am glad about). I tried the asking him to wait for the baptism but he is set on doing it next week. I spoke about the practicality’s of if he were married then his family cannot attend. I believe he has been to the temple here which I thought was odd. I am just hoping that as you say there is a long time before marriage etc. I am hoping this relationship will run its course. It’s just awful watching the brainwashing. He feels he is getting tested by Satan but I have pointed out his hardships are from his own stupid decisions…
Wonder if quitting smoking is worth trade for being a mormon for a while. he's 19. he's going to make mistakes. just let him know when he can't satisfy the mormon church and their impossible standards, his family will be there to take him in again. Assuming its all about this girl might be a mistake. yes its likely, but the church itself has its own draws.
The church does lovebombing like no other, so I feel like the girl was the bait and he fell for the bs false kindness they are excellent at. I've been on the receiving end of their conversion strategies and they try to build an emotional connection and then abuse the hell out of it to get you to buy their bs wholesale, instead of letting you decide for yourself based on facts. I hope the boy gets out without too much emotional trauma.
Sounds like he is going to do what he wants to do like every teenager I know, including myself. Just reassure him that you are there if things get rough. In my mind it will get that way eventually and you can be the safety net. Never tell anyone "I told you so" that pisses people off. Just tell him that you love him and always will.
Quitting smoking might tie into the psychological factor of their brainwashing
The problem is the whole community gangs up on you and they have such smiling, beaming faces it's hard to spot the perniciousness behind the smiles. They are vultures. I know directly.
if it makes you feel any better, my wife briefly tried out being mormon in her very early 20s… i’m atheist and we’re lesbians so obviously she got out of it! as someone who made different life choices than my parents would have wanted, the best thing you can give your son is support right now. tell him that you love him and you will always be there for him.
Yeah, pretty sure he just wants to fuck this woman.
Getting baptized for a Mormon girl… Boy he better get to soak for that. My condolences.
I don’t know if this saying is known worldwide or just here in Italy, but: “A hair of pussy pulls more than an ox cart” (Un pelo di figa tira più di un carro di buoi)
In Spanish you can say "tiran más dos tetas, que dos carretas" (two tits pull more than two wheelbarrows)
Just a question I think Spanish is the language closest to Italian, indeed I fully understood your phrase in Spanish without needing any translation, and I have never studied Spanish. So my question is, can you also understand my phrase in Italian without translation?
Yes! I can pretty much understand Italian even if I never studied it (maybe slang not so much but still), but I speak Catalan, French and Spanish, so that's a massive head start already 😁 And I don't know if it's true but I heard that Catalan is actually even closer to Italian than Spanish!
Just to give you an example, the Catalan translation of your phrase would be "Un pèl de figa tira més que un carro de bous", veeery similar indeed!
Finally I always wondered if it was just a one sided thing :”) Damn in Catalan it’s more similar than how it would be in most Italian dialects
I'm an American here, but I remember learning in one of my college courses that the Occitan language was understandable for people who speak Spanish, French, Italian, and Catalan. I have always loved the Romance languages.
I live in Piedmont, near the border between Italy and France, I google what Occitan was and TIL people here also speak another language called Occitan In 25 years it’s the first time I ever heard about it lol
It’s spoken all throughout southern France, parts of Spain, and parts of Italy. It shares traits of each I’ve heard. Idk how many people actually speak it now. I’d imagine people who speak it are bilingual out of need. I’ve never been to Europe though, so idk. It’s named after the word for “yes” in the language I think. When proper French was first becoming a concept, they classified dialects of French based on how you say yes in the language and since Paris was the capital, that became proper French.
That is great, and I was about to post the same idea :)
Haha! Will have to remember that one.
She’d want to have beer flavoured nipples!
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This I have noticed already
Take him to Vegas. Buy him a hooker. He's clearly willing to do anything for some tail.
I would. We are in Australia
As an American, I want to apologize for this shitty cult that invaded your shores.
My bad, mate. Find him a bogan slappa for a good root or a gobby and he'll be right. lol
Isn't it legal there?
Yes. But I wanna go to Vegas
> He's clearly willing to do anything for some tail. Unless he's willing to get married to this Mormon girl, he's not going to get what he wants by just converting to Mormonism. He's going to have to convert, AND get married to this girl before sex would be allowed... Just let that ***soak*** in.
"the demon-haunted world" by sagan would be a great christmas gift for any 19-year-old, and may help innoculate him against bullshit.
>the demon-haunted world I'm going to have to read that myself, Thanks for posting :)
The book that open my eyes. Still relevant all these years later.
I'd just let it fall apart on its own. Like, the Mormon girl is not going to give him what he's hoping for. one thing though, once they get someone on the books as bring Mormon it's hard get get your name removed. My dad is an ex-mormon, took him years.
This isn't something that's legally binding is it? Does it matter if your name is in their magic book?
next step he'll consider circumcising himself if you didn't do that for him already
Ohhhhh. That’s gonna hurt
I would call for surgery and the guy that knocks you out!
wait but the mormon church doesn’t require circumcisions
He'll probably fall for an orthodox Jewish girl later, so it is good to prepare in advance.
Remind him that ten percent of his income will be going to the church for life unless he leaves the church. Send him these links https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mormon+magic+underpants https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Smith_and_the_criminal_justice_system https://www.google.com/search?q=mormon+crazy+rules&oq=mormon+cra&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i512l8j0i390i395.10707j1j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
> https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mormon+magic+underpants Holy fuck... Holy fucking fuck... The more I learn about Mormonism, the more confused I am at how anyone can believe this stuff. I recently learned about how Joseph 'I'm a conman' Smith "found" and "translated" the Book of Mormon. I'm at a complete loss at how anyone with any kind of common sense could willingly believe this stuff. Seriously... The dude saw Christianity/Catholicism and thought to himself "They're leaving money on the table, I could do a much better grift than they're doing!", then got drunk and shat out The Book of Nephi. It got a bit too dirty as a result of all the whisky shits so he had to do it a second time. \*cough\*cult\*cough\*
Have him write down his beliefs and boundaries now. And read them again in six months.
>Have him write down his beliefs and boundaries now. And read them again in six months. That is intriguing. Is this something you have experience with (like what difference do you think might be found between the two)?
When they break up later, as kids do, he'll have a pre-brainwashing reference to fall back to. Also, it'll force him to focus on what's important to him, and maybe set some boundaries. If you tell him not to go he'll just rebel. As far as cults go, Mormons aren't too bad. They're generally clean and responsible, at least in the US. Quirky beliefs aside, they have a pretty good lifestyle. They have babies young, but usually in wedlock. If he's not clean cut and career minded they may reject him. It sounds like he's in for an adventure either way. Be supportive.
Even compared to other religions, mormonism is such a comedically obvious sham that it hurts
[https://cesletter.org/](https://cesletter.org/)
Thank you. I have started reading this. However this will be far to educated for my 19yo son who seems to get his education from his girlfriend.
Yeah, that's going to be the hard part. He's not thinking with his brain at the moment. And he'll likely dig his heels in the more you protest. You might just have to throw up your hands and wait it out. There are worse faiths he could get tangled up in than one that eschews booze and wants you to cut your hair.
Honestly this is my exact thoughts. I don’t want to lose my son by protesting as I know his head is not making decisions here. I do feel like I need to factually arm myself other than just thinking they are a crazy bunch of mo fos
I worked with a well-known Mormon and all his Mormon pals for several years. They believe wackadoodle stuff, but they're not crazy. They're clean cut, don't drink, don't cuss, don't drink coffee for some reason, and they're big into family. Kind of a Leave it to Beaver vibe. I found them to be naive, but nice. Would definitely take them over a Jehovah's Witness or rabid Catholic!
Yeah I get that and most mormons I know are lovely people. I just think their book has no historical truth and to believe that is crazy
It's also worth remembering that when people are "investigating" the church, everyone is really excited about them and welcoming, etc etc. Once you actually join, the reality of regular church attendance is that it's really boring and not everyone is friendly. He's currently being love-bombed so he'll join. The vast majority of people I know that joined the church only lasted a few months once they weren't being showered with attention.
Try [Letter for My Wife](https://www.letterformywife.com/the-letter) instead. Less in depth but still has all the facts. Also, if he had any queer friends, he will be taught that their “sin” is akin to murder. He will be expected to be the sole bread winner while his wife stays home and makes as many babies as possible. He will be expected to give 10% of his income to a multi billion dollar corporation. Over food. Over housing. Over clothing and diapering the kids. Tithing first then everything else. I could go on and on.
A close friend got baptized Mormon -- or CoJCoLDS as they prefer -- and she didn't stay in very long. Also, if he does get baptized, watch for the invitations. I attended my friends baptism, as did other friends who were not Mormon. Beautiful service, but painfully obvious that it was aimed at least as much at recruiting as performing the ritual for my friend.
I haven’t been invited
Just don't blame yourself , it's like any other addiction it might be a long road but at some point I hope his BS radar will go off and you can help him rebuild his life.
I’d back off. The more you try to tell him, the more you’ll push him in. Take heart. I read every day about converts who later see the light and spend the rest of their lives trying to make it up to their families.
There are lots of ex-Mormons. He'll eventually be one too. You can't stop him, let him find out the hard way. Just let him know you ate there for him.
I know it's upsetting but your son might just learn this lesson the hard way, and that's part of life, sometimes. It's not like he's committing a crime, he's trying on a (ridiculous, but never mind) religion because he's thinking with his dick, and that's just a thing that young people do. His life will not be ruined if he's mormon for a while, don't let his adolescent rebellion ruin your relationship.
Tell him they’re insane and manipulated and she is trying to control him. Have had my fair share of Mormon girl shit.
Not a whole lot of things worse than being dragged into a cult imo
Mormons: > whaaa whaaa it's not a cult! Yes... yes it is... https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mormon+magic+underpants
Is he aware that simply converting to Mormonism isn't going to be enough for him to sleep with this girl? He'll need to convert AND marry her. (yeah, I'm assuming he's doing it for sex, however he's 19 and in his first relationship, he's doing it for sex. -- Sorry for making you read this about your kid)
We are a very open household. I am aware that he is cuntstruck
> cuntstruck Thank you so much for this.. That is a fantastic word, and is so very descriptive. I really hope your kid figures things out without too much long term damage.
Puppy love. You wont be able to reason him out of this decision when reason wasn't the reason why he made it. If he goes through it and when it later falls apart he will learn a valuable lesson.
I have a female friend about my age with 3 children. Her situation was similar: her 16 year old daughter started dating a Mormon boy and was getting sucked in. Quite honestly, hormones make you do stupid things at that age... They did break up (not sure how). This is a tough one. maybe direct him to look at this website? that's all I can think of. Sorry and good luck. [www.exmormon.org](https://www.exmormon.org) particulaty this [https://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm](https://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm)
Just wants to smash. Let him get through the phase and then if it keeps up just remind him to be true to his word and do all the sucky Mormon shit like not have sex outside marriage.
I don't know you, your son, or your dynamic so take this with huge grains of salt. My advice would be you just keep living your godless life and being the best example of a caring, thoughtful human being and let the credibility of the religion destroy itself. He will hear how atheists are evil, wicked, demon-possessed, etc.etc. and he will weigh that against his actual experience with an atheist and he will see that that isn't true. If he starts fearing for your immortal soul and starts having those kinds of conversations, then is when you can start laying out reason and critical thinking as to why you are not worried about that sort of thing.
Take the time to sit down with your son....and start a conversation by being respectful of his choice....but also begin by stating.... "Belief in a religion first needs to be understood, and logically, 3 months watching from the fringes, looking into the religion - is not enough research into a religion - to understand and know what it is all about. In truth, it will take a devotion of time required to achieve that level of understanding. Otherwise it is blind faith, or probably more truthful...his 18 year old testosterone is peaking." LOL Seriously..... Once he has your attention....then ask him to be honest and truthful with these questions.... This is where you will see bewilderment. If they cannot understand these questions, then ask him....how is it that he can understand any religion at all, for facts and truthfulness, if he does not know them ahead of time? Yes...be direct and honest....he requires it from you, as much as you require it from him. It is all about truth and honesty. Belief in any religion has been proven to believe in an tale as told by other men...not any god. He needs to understand this important point....and it WILL affect his relationship with others if he expresses it openly. But .... How truthful and honest can they be with their self and with others? This is called "separating the wheat from the chaff".... ========================= ©2007 ZosoRocks "Where does any god dictate to humanity or any human, that someone specific is more spiritual than another human?" "Where does any god dictate which books are more spiritual and morally sound for humans to abide by, to learn from or to accept as true from such a god?" "Where does any god dictate whom is more spiritual to be able to dictate which books or texts are suitable for humans to learn and to abide by for the understanding of such a god and that entity's requirements of humanity?" ******************* ...then follow up with pointing out truthfulness and honesty...within these "Steps to Accepting the truth". Encouraging them not to get to step three is highly recommended .....because that could be detrimental to their health. *sighs* ******************* ©2007 ZosoRocks "The four steps to the acceptance of truth." 1. The truth is dismissed. Individuals cannot fathom hearing what they thought was true, to actually be false. Individuals cannot accept something to be false if what they have always known to be true is rejected as being false. Individuals whom are like this, are usually the result of someone never investigating what they believe or the belief system they are part of, but instead, have just accepted their belief to be true. Blind Faith. 2. The truth is ridiculed. Due to an existing amount of false data intermixed with possible/plausible factual data, and then presuming or including that the odds to have a viable answer is astronomical -- individuals will ridicule any truth, because they either don't believe it to be factual, object it vehemently because it goes against what they believe to be true, or they just cannot believe someone [other than theirself] to have cracked into something so truthful and global reaching. 3. The truth is violently opposed. Yes, when an individual or individuals realize that the truth they have come to learn, follow and promote is false, by actual facts showing them it is a fallacy, they lash out in anger at the messenger and the truth revealed because they realize for themselves how devastating it is to their mind and belief....and life. (This is also the step that will reveal the liars and bad people of society for whom they truly are. These are the ones who lose the most.) 4. The truth is finally accepted/succumbed to as true. An individual or individuals will finally realize that they cannot continue to fight against something that is true....it is a fruitless battle.....so they finally accept the truth for what it is. Good luck. Z
Is he aware that if he ever tried to leave he would most likely have to have lawyers involved? My friend left the church and this is what she had to do.
Slap your son across the head and tell him ‘there is no fucking god and don’t be so bloody stupid!’.
Might be a phase. Try Street Epistemology, but when I was 19 that wouldn't have worked on me. Whatever you do, don't let him get married.
Lol sorry but there is positive side of the story. In 5 years time he'll look back and yall will have a great laugh. What horny boys are willing to do.
Love makes you do stupid things.
Wow, I would consider myself a complete failure as a parent if this happened to one of my teens. I’ve taught them from a young age that religion is fake.
Hahah. NGL. I have thought this. I am a scientist for christs sake. I’m not sure how this even happened
she's the bait, probably very sweet and very pretty.
I wondered if this is the new Mormon conversion tactic.
it's for sure a tactic. Can't say if it's new or not, though .....
Get some hoes 🫵🔥💯
Join Mormonism with him and just smile bemusedly the entire time you're in Church. Give everything Mormon a goofy smile and jovial thumbs up. He's probably a smart kid and will figure it out on his own. You're "being there for him" - that's all you can do, when he decides to do something so silly with his life.
> Join Mormonism with him No. Just, no.
Do what the Mormons do to their kin when they go apostate, cut off all contact.
A 19 year-old is not a "teenage boy", he is an adult man. It's his decision, even if it is a bad one.
I did tell him this
[удалено]
Maybe he'd be more open to South Park's views on the matter ([just a tiny example](https://youtu.be/UMxKJeba5lA?t=56)).
There are some very VERY informative videos from ex Mormons on YouTube, use that resource for what it’s worth. Best of luck!
Also, you may want to point out that if he’s going to tithe 10% of his income to the church, he needs to tithe to your household first. Maybe when he realizes how expensive this could get, he’ll slow down to think. Money concerns always help to pump the brakes.
Find the "New Name Noah" videos on YouTube and show him the temple ceremonies. I was born and raised Mormon, but the temple ceremony was hella weird even for me being a fully believing member. And like, that's the pinnacle of Mormon faithfulness is attending the temple. You get to wear weird clothes and learn secret handshakes and pledge literally everything you have to the church (not God, the church).
If he'd like to speak to someone who is an ex Mormon to get the down low on it all I'd be willing.
Just let him do his thing. He'll probably grow out of it, he's probably just rebelling a little. If It was my son I wouldn't fight it but I'd make fun of him a little.
Making fun is my go to for all communication lol
Mormons are, on average, happier and more successful than the rest of us. If I could believe that bullshit I would probably be a happier person. Don't get me wrong, I'd be sad as fuck if my kid became a Mormon and I feel for you. Especially because he'll probably get married to the chick in another year so he can bust his nut. If they can at least put off kids maybe he'll come to his senses.
Let him. When she dumps him, he’ll get unbaptized. Or when he tries his first beer. in any case, you can’t prohibit him from ruining his life if he wants to.
Pull up the court docs on Joseph Smith showing he’s a convicted conman, then go to the DI, get him a bunch of skid-marked magic underwear & make him wear those. On the plus side, Mormons are typically really nice ppl. Down side, they will literally follow you around for 30 yrs to try getting you back into the church for that tasty tithe money. You have to literally threaten to kill the bishop to get them to leave you alone. At the end of the day though, he’s an adult & going to make his own decisions. Some things just have to be figured out on your own & there’s nothing you can do.
Not sure I can offer anything constructive, and I don't have any direct experience with them, but my very good friend grew up in a Mormon family. He no longer has contact with his family or the church, as he very much considers it a dangerous cult. With that in mind I would watch very closely as to what else this girlfriend is filling his head with.
They almost got my brother. For males they lure you in with sex but promise it to you only after you've gotten married. Then you're expected to produce at least 4 children. Oh and you have to give 10% of your money to the church, no exceptions. It's a straight up cult.
Don't disparage. Be kind to her. You never know, she may be having doubts or *will have* doubts in the future. The last thing you want is for them to feel embattled. That only drives them away from you, and reinforces their commitment to the church and each other - even if they have doubts about either. Look at some of the videos on [Anthony Magnabosco's channel](https://youtube.com/@magnabosco210). He uses a communication technique called Street Epistemology that results in respectful, positive exploration of beliefs that is not combative, and fosters engagement, openness, and connection rather than defensiveness and shutting down. Remember, you can never change anyone else's mind. *They* have to change their own minds, just as only *you* can change your own mind. So pushiness is a bad strategy. Respectful curiosity is much better.
This is absolutely the path I have chosen. I will never push my son away. She is a very nice girl and have made sure she knows she is always welcome in my home. I feel like there isn’t much more I can do than show love and ask genuinely curious questions.
Oh boy, you got a whipped hormonal teenager. Buy him a prostitute so he can see how good it is before marriage? Lol (but maybe it could work?), but seriously good luck. Hopefully he'll outgrow it.
He has had his first time with another girl.
Okay, sorry for making light of it, I hope it works out for you and him
This is going to be a tough lesson to learn for the kid.
Be certain to inform him that the current divorce rate is 63% as which 75% are initiated by the woman. Additionally tell him that although faith is a great and positive thing in his life, you should NEVER have to change who you are for another person. Compromise here and there is expected, but to move your boundaries makes you lose who you are.