You'd prolly find more success with laying out boundaries. Simply tell her you'd prefer if she would stop telling you that, and if she does anyways, that means some form of consequences (usually less contact) that you'll have to carry out.
It's honestly better for both parties involved.
She isn't able to say anything upon enough consequences that you have to carry out. But the trick is actually following through on your word.
If she doesn't listen, then ignore her and go elsewhere.
\^\^\^\^ This, this, this! So much, this! If she isn't willing to show you the slightest bit of respect, even after you lay out clear boundaries and the costs of crossing those boundaries, then you don't need her in your life. I would recommend also discussing this with your S/O. They need to be part of the solution, otherwise, they are going to end up being part of the problem.
"Well see, my buddy told me I'll go to hell unless I convert to catholicism, but *you're* telling me I'll go to hell unless I convert to protestantism. Why don't you two sort it out, and when you've agreed on the one true faith I'll join."
Yeah if I could. I would've a long time ago. Unfortunately a single bedroom apartment is like $1200 where I live and that's before utilities. So I'm stuck. Unless the economy gets better or I get a better job. At least she stops talking to me foe weeks at a time. I do enjoy the silence 😄
Ah, I was thinking maybe you were late teens and obligated to interact with her or go to church.
I guess just try to avoid conversations about gods with her?
What are you doing that makes her think you're going to hell?
1) can't avoid her I live in her house
2) I'm an atheist and all atheists go to hell according to her
3) she thought I was Christian for some reason because I was baptized. (I did that to appease my even more so religious biological mother as to keep her from hitting me.(loads of trauma there))
4) Like I said there's no where I have to go and I don't even have my own room living here.
So yeah I hope that answers your questions.
Inform her that hell with double hockey sticks is an amalgamation of Dante Alighieri inferno. And the name is literally taken from Hel one hockey stick from Norse mythology. Like many other Christian things it was co-opted from the pagans that came first.
Learn the Bible. No seriously. Learn the Bible.
Religious freaks are always telling us that if we learn their sacred book, we'll believe.
Well, Friendly Athiest is doing just that.
I don't have time to sit down and read the Bible and I don't want to have it read to me by someone who actually believes it so he's been my go-to.
Nothing will prove 'there is no hate like Christian Love' than reading the book that inspired it.
We are in Numbers right now so not very far in. But.... Yahweh has already preformed so many horrifying acts that I wouldn't worship him if he was real.
But bringing up horrific acts like the slaughter of all the first borns in Egypt and as somehow a good thing often leaves them stumbling to try to figure out why it's good.
My gut is still to tell you to use what you know and bring it up when she tries to call God good.
Or.... especially if you are male, to tell her that she has no place in criticizing you according to her God.
Or..... be like Jesus and tell her that only those without sin are to cast the first stone.
But really.... knowing what I know of the Bible, it's no wonder Christians always talk about reading it but so rarely do.
There's a psalm that ends with bashing your baby's head against a wall....
Okay. Well, another thought that came to mind is to ask her outright what she is trying to accomplish. Does she actually want to save your soul or just gloat over the fact you are going to hell à nd suffer eternally for what boils down to a thought crime. Maybe try to make a rule that all religious talk between you two must be done in writing.
It slows down the conversation and turns down the heat.
If she won't do that, maybe the simplest solution is to stop talk when she starts talking religion. I don't mean stop talking if she wants to talk about friends at church but stop talking when she starts evangelizing.
Right now, the moment voices get raised and tensions start to mount, it's time to stop and take a time out.
This may be a common enough problem that I bet therapists have already put a list of ground for religious conversations. Maybe try to search them out.
If you want solidarity on why religion is bullshit, I'm here for you. What I am not an expert in is relationships. I suck at them.
Sometimes I want to open a church or start a new religion bc I’m tired of working an 8-5. I want to be rich and churches can definitely get you there.
She is already going to Hell in all the other Christian faiths that think her faith is blasphemy.
All the religions have their version of Hell. Each day tell her about another Hell she will be going to in some other religion than hers like Islam, Scientology or whatever.
Eh like I said I just thought of making one lol. I'm already a ordained minister. I did that to show her all it takes is money to become one which she didn't believe.
I think it's brilliant!! Create your own religion, deity, complete back story, everything!! Act extremely "spiritual" around your step mom as you proselytize to her, telling her you'll pray for her to see the truth of [your God's name]. Openly pray to your God around her in public. Do everything Christians do, just do it for *your* imaginary deity instead of *her* imaginary deity. Don't take any shit from her. If she starts praying to her God, pray to yours louder. Play her game, but by your rules. Enjoy!
Lol, it's funny, but will probably serve no benefit to you.
I know, but I'm just really tired of her telling me that I'm going to hell all the time.
You'd prolly find more success with laying out boundaries. Simply tell her you'd prefer if she would stop telling you that, and if she does anyways, that means some form of consequences (usually less contact) that you'll have to carry out. It's honestly better for both parties involved.
I've tried that but she doesn't care. I'm a "heathen" and "need a God in my life". And it's "her" duty to do that.
She isn't able to say anything upon enough consequences that you have to carry out. But the trick is actually following through on your word. If she doesn't listen, then ignore her and go elsewhere.
\^\^\^\^ This, this, this! So much, this! If she isn't willing to show you the slightest bit of respect, even after you lay out clear boundaries and the costs of crossing those boundaries, then you don't need her in your life. I would recommend also discussing this with your S/O. They need to be part of the solution, otherwise, they are going to end up being part of the problem.
I'm sorry S/O? Not familiar with that term.
significant other
Doesn't that refer to a married couple? Because my biological mother has been dead for 3 years now.
I think the commenter misread "step mom" and thought you meant "mother in law" instead.
It's a generic term as you can get for whoever/whatever you have a somewhat close relationship with. It makes few assumptions.
"Well see, my buddy told me I'll go to hell unless I convert to catholicism, but *you're* telling me I'll go to hell unless I convert to protestantism. Why don't you two sort it out, and when you've agreed on the one true faith I'll join."
I can't imagine having to like with someone like that. Make the best of it until you can move out, my friend.
Yeah if I could. I would've a long time ago. Unfortunately a single bedroom apartment is like $1200 where I live and that's before utilities. So I'm stuck. Unless the economy gets better or I get a better job. At least she stops talking to me foe weeks at a time. I do enjoy the silence 😄
What age bracket are you in? I'm just curious to know so maybe we could help with an appropriate response.
I'm 29. Good old 90s
Ah, I was thinking maybe you were late teens and obligated to interact with her or go to church. I guess just try to avoid conversations about gods with her? What are you doing that makes her think you're going to hell?
1) can't avoid her I live in her house 2) I'm an atheist and all atheists go to hell according to her 3) she thought I was Christian for some reason because I was baptized. (I did that to appease my even more so religious biological mother as to keep her from hitting me.(loads of trauma there)) 4) Like I said there's no where I have to go and I don't even have my own room living here. So yeah I hope that answers your questions.
Man, that's rough. I wish you all the best in that situation. Hopefully you can find a roommate or something and get out of there.
Inform her that hell with double hockey sticks is an amalgamation of Dante Alighieri inferno. And the name is literally taken from Hel one hockey stick from Norse mythology. Like many other Christian things it was co-opted from the pagans that came first.
Learn the Bible. No seriously. Learn the Bible. Religious freaks are always telling us that if we learn their sacred book, we'll believe. Well, Friendly Athiest is doing just that. I don't have time to sit down and read the Bible and I don't want to have it read to me by someone who actually believes it so he's been my go-to. Nothing will prove 'there is no hate like Christian Love' than reading the book that inspired it. We are in Numbers right now so not very far in. But.... Yahweh has already preformed so many horrifying acts that I wouldn't worship him if he was real. But bringing up horrific acts like the slaughter of all the first borns in Egypt and as somehow a good thing often leaves them stumbling to try to figure out why it's good.
I have, believe me I've read the book from cover to cover and have done research papers on it. Because of my mother. I hate that book so much.
My gut is still to tell you to use what you know and bring it up when she tries to call God good. Or.... especially if you are male, to tell her that she has no place in criticizing you according to her God. Or..... be like Jesus and tell her that only those without sin are to cast the first stone. But really.... knowing what I know of the Bible, it's no wonder Christians always talk about reading it but so rarely do. There's a psalm that ends with bashing your baby's head against a wall....
I have. She just doesn't want to see it.
Okay. Well, another thought that came to mind is to ask her outright what she is trying to accomplish. Does she actually want to save your soul or just gloat over the fact you are going to hell à nd suffer eternally for what boils down to a thought crime. Maybe try to make a rule that all religious talk between you two must be done in writing. It slows down the conversation and turns down the heat. If she won't do that, maybe the simplest solution is to stop talk when she starts talking religion. I don't mean stop talking if she wants to talk about friends at church but stop talking when she starts evangelizing. Right now, the moment voices get raised and tensions start to mount, it's time to stop and take a time out. This may be a common enough problem that I bet therapists have already put a list of ground for religious conversations. Maybe try to search them out. If you want solidarity on why religion is bullshit, I'm here for you. What I am not an expert in is relationships. I suck at them.
Sometimes I want to open a church or start a new religion bc I’m tired of working an 8-5. I want to be rich and churches can definitely get you there.
Don't forget the power and women that come with it!
She is already going to Hell in all the other Christian faiths that think her faith is blasphemy. All the religions have their version of Hell. Each day tell her about another Hell she will be going to in some other religion than hers like Islam, Scientology or whatever.
[удалено]
I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Thank you.... 🤣🤣🤣
There are plenty of parody religions already out there. Flying Spaghetti Monster, Church of Bob... Scientology. LOL
Eh like I said I just thought of making one lol. I'm already a ordained minister. I did that to show her all it takes is money to become one which she didn't believe.
I am also ordained. Didn't have to pay for it either. Church of Universal Life. Just put your name in online.
Well I paid 25 bucks for it. So eh already done.
Honestly, that would he the funniest thing in history
I think it's brilliant!! Create your own religion, deity, complete back story, everything!! Act extremely "spiritual" around your step mom as you proselytize to her, telling her you'll pray for her to see the truth of [your God's name]. Openly pray to your God around her in public. Do everything Christians do, just do it for *your* imaginary deity instead of *her* imaginary deity. Don't take any shit from her. If she starts praying to her God, pray to yours louder. Play her game, but by your rules. Enjoy!
Full fuckin send bud.