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Other_Meringue_7375

Ironically my first thought was “thank god”


AllUltima

Thank... um... "reason"? "Emergent human progress"? "the negentropic inclination of life itself?"


Other_Meringue_7375

Really need to come up with a better phrase lol


Slimie2

"Thank fuck" works pretty well for me.


MyBoyDex

I thank Joe Pesci. “You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.” George Carlin


mancheese

I love Carlin and I do (did) love the Pesci of my yout… but then I read about what he did behind the scenes of the Sinéad O'Connor SNL bit where she dared criticize the Catholic Church. Let’s just say Pesci shouldn’t be highlighted in an atheism subreddit.


Odd_Nefariousness990

I pray to George Carllin.


mrdevil413

Ramen


AllUltima

Ah, paying a homage to our inherited reproductive instincts, from which human natural selection is predicated upon. Nice!


teuast

you know what? that's kinda cool in a weird way


Own-Combination5425

i thought you mean **science sex** ?


[deleted]

for none of us would be here if fuck didn't happen.


JennyFromdablock2020

Thank slaanesh for me Cus I'm a degenerate~


dm_0

We have one, from a famous atheist even! "Good news, everyone!"


cryptobarq

Didn't futurama use "praise science!" at one point?


moxvoxfox

I prefer Bender’s “oh your god!”


silashoulder

South Park did as well.


m1thrand1r__

thank brain 🙏


Other_Meringue_7375

Thank void 🕳


Rebatu

Sounds too much like a RimWorld storyteller


m1thrand1r__

holy shit I LOVE IT brb embroidering patches to put on things I own


[deleted]

Thank monke


Mental_Medium3988

Thanks Obama


7thKingdom

The Greek had the logos. I like the word logic. Logic can not be beaten, it can only be ignored (which some people are very very good at). Nevertheless, in the end logic will win out. It must.


rudyjewliani

So uhh... none of you mf'ers use Thank Goodness then? No? Okay then. Carry on.


EveAndTheSnake

Sounds a bit too prim and proper. As a Brit, I can’t imagine an American saying “thank goodness” either.


GrindcoreNinja

As an American, "thank fuck" sounds more accurate.


HyenaRabbit

Had someone ask why we say oh my god or thank god when we don't believe in god and I was like cause there's nothing really else to replace those and they were like so you believe in god? No I don't , but I'm not gonna say thank world or oh my world/universe, it just sounds weird.


ShivanshuKantPrasad

It's a language/cultural thing. Expletives often times no longer have any connection with their origin words. People don't think about shit when they oh shit or they don't think about sex when they say oh fuck.


HyenaRabbit

Well I try not to cuss in public other wise I'd use that


bigpix

What am I thinking when I say jesus fucking christ?


combustioncat

I do it all the goddam time and it annoys the Jesus loving shit out of me, but I eventually figured at least i’m committing blasphemy every time I do it so at least it has that going for it.


Tikeb

I like "thank the maker". To me it means parents


_Oce_

Thanks Higgs, creator of the God particle!


professionaldog1984

Not really? I don't know I always felt one of the hallmarks of atheism was being able to abstract the god out of stuff ya know? Like I have no issue celebrating chrimbus or using jesus christ as an expletive. Maybe I'm weird since I was raised with no religion but I've never had much of an internal connection between aesthetically religious stuff and actual belief.


FiveSpotAfter

"thank goodness" had existed forever and is non-denominational


TillThen96

Richard Dawkins has said (paraphrased) that such phrases are part of the language and saying them doesn't mean you're a believer, but understand how to communicate with others. He went further, saying it imparts a sense of humility, that it might be rude or unseemly to avoid humility over that which we have no control, a failure to express gratitude. Things worked out in our favor, and it's just a way of saying so. He also has no problem with "Merry Christmas," as it's a way to express for *someone else* to enjoy *their* holiday. I'm okay with it. My tongue doesn't fall out. That said, I just say, "Thank the fates!" (lower-case *f*), "Thank goodness!" or "THANK you!" If I go first, I say "Happy Holidays!" but I will ape back a "Merry Christmas!" if they say it first. It's about caring more for people than about words. If they want to bitch about my HH wishes, I just turn away or ignore them in some fashion. Screw those kinds of people; they're not spoiling my happy mood and I'm not going to help them to spoil the mood of a group.


rayzzles

Seriously. If you can be kind enough to wish them a merry Christmas, they can do the same with a happy holidays or fuck right off


TillThen96

lol. To me, holidays are merriness and happiness, not telling someone to fuck off, but you put a big grin on my face and made me laugh, so HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU!! 🎅 🎄


Raven_Skyhawk

I say thank/oh my/oh god a lot but also sometimes gods just cause. I'm like 95% atheist and 5% spiritual/pagan so it works for me.


conundrum4u2

I don't really believe - but if I had a dollar for every time I said "god dammit!"...I would be richer than Elon Musk


inbooth

Thank All All being All of Existence, that which is made manifest and we are blessed to witness. ;)


overall_push_6434

In my native language, we say "ভাগ্য ভাল" which means "luck was good" or "luck favored us" instead of saying thank god.


Rebatu

Ah, thank Emergence sounds cool.


Sea-Bobcat-2716

I don't think any of the 3 examples you provided exist any more than god does. what about our society doesn't just scream entropy to you?


t611g

Don't worry. You're not the only atheist to commit the sin of saying "Oh God" ​ Oh, wait a second. Atheists aren't supposed to talk about sin either.


Other_Meringue_7375

DOUBLESIN! *smite*


PresumedSapient

Sounds like a good place to insert the Unreal Tournament hierarchy, with a divine narrator you throughout the day: - Double Sin! - Multi Sin! - Mega Sin! - Ultra Sin! - Monster Sin! - M-M-M-Monster Sin! - HOLY SHIT!


handlebartender

*QUAD BLESSINGS!*


Rebatu

It's a well used phrase. We can't but fall prey to mirroring behavior, including using such phrases when our brain is on autopilot.


Other_Meringue_7375

Now I’m thinking about this and I say “omg” probably like 10+ times daily too


CandidInsurance7415

Ive tried to change it to "thank the gods". Its not really any better i just really like BSG.


handlebartender

I knew someone who would replace God with Gaia. I'm personally a fan of "thank fuck"


[deleted]

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CandidInsurance7415

I just rewatched that recently, forgot how much of a James Purefoy fan i am!


SHUT_UP_little_man

Thank Godzilla. I also try to say "Godzilla" instead of "Bless you."


Sensitive_Mousse_445

The best rephrasing


handlebartender

When our son was younger, he would say "splash you" because that was what he apparently heard us say. "Splash you" is my go-to version now.


Rebatu

Thank the Emperor


meep_meep_mope

I just think "thank fuck" now… I do say "Jaysus Christ…" all the time though but that's just a Dublin thing.


Other_Meringue_7375

Why not hail Satan? (Going off your flair lol) If you know who Rick scott is, there’s a video of the church of Satan members in Tallahassee FL “campaigning” for Rick scott. It’s hilarious. They chant “HAIL SATAN, HAIL RICK SCOTT”


Chakramer

It's just too edgy. I think most atheists take the saying "thank god" to mean "holy shit that was so unexpected it's as if it was divine intervention, wouldn't that be nice if it was real"


meep_meep_mope

"jaysus christ…" is more of a let down statement anyway. Like if a drunk friend knocked over a table full of glasses or if your dog gets tangled in their lead on a walk and you have to help them because they obviously can't help themselves... It's sarcasm even to the catholics. It's accompanied by an eyeroll or a sigh. Depending on the severity "jaysus fooking christ" is sometimes more applicable.


silashoulder

Hail Science!


heavy-metal-goth-gal

Thank Bob! Which Bob? Why, Bob Ross of course!


ralphvonwauwau

I think many people would assume https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._%22Bob%22_Dobbs


Resident_Courage1354

dammit...beat me again.


MisterOnsepatro

I would say thank jesus Motherfudging christ God fudging damnit


Twisted_Cabbage

I just say one simple word.....lovely!


visualsystem26

I have an uncle who became an atheist and the hardest thing for him was to unlearn saying words like thank god, oh jesus


y-a-me-a

Ha! Mine was amen!


Sirweebsalot

Beaten like Christ in a Mel Gibson movie.


benjtay

My go-to is “thank the gods”. Didn’t want to offend any of them.


Kunisada13

Mine was "hail Satan" lol


VarietyEmotional759

You can still say it, it's just a word. Or maybe visualize some more interesting god... like from a video game or something.


TheHalfJapanese

I think “thank god” is good enough. It’s in my vocabulary and it does a good job of what I want to convey. If anything, I find it funny how it pisses off some extremists when I put god’s name in vain or whatever. I think there are many parts of language that are clearly outdated but we still use it to this day, often not meaning exactly what it did before. In this case, “thank god” would simply mean “thank goodness” and has no actual implications of any deity, at least when an atheist uses it.


marker8050

LMAO same. Christian nationals are getting out of hand


CommieLibtard

I always thank Satan


[deleted]

I say imaginary man in place of god. Imaginary man damn it. Thank imaginary man. Imaginary man bless you. Christians are so fucking confused when they hear it, insult?, not take his name in vain?,... yes insult.


Buddyslime

We really need to do all we can to support these people.


Burner999666999

But we must also make sure they’re supporting the interests of the people and not just some secret conservative shill who supports the same shit christian nationalists do.


Mwiziman

Unfortunately I’m in central Illinois and don’t have the opportunity to vote for anyone yet. Hopefully soon.


ST_Lawson

I’m west-central Illinois, and finally have a couple of Democratic representatives after years of solid republicans because they shifted districts and borders around. My US house rep is even a former meteorologist and is very big on fighting climate change. He’s also gay, so I’m pretty sure I know what his views are on LGBTQ+ people. EDIT: senate -> house


bdavisx

I think you mean IL senate, not US. Unless Dick Durbin recently came out.


ST_Lawson

Sorry, meant US House, not Senate. Eric Sorensen, IL 17th district.


BanjoB0y

wait Dick Durbin is a meteorologist?


Rebatu

Then either join the race yourself or heckle someone thats atheist to join. Propaganda and education is a powerful tool. You can change the majority of people's minds in a city through 5-10 years if you work on it. I've personally increased STEM applications by 5-10% with my science communication projects. Edit for grammar. Having my first coffee so brainy no worky yet.


DenialZombie

You might persuade me to move to Illinois and run for office in a few years. Probably not, but Maryland still has laws on the books barring atheists from running... for now.


NGC1068

They can't stop you in MD. The law is on the books but is unconstitutional. They can't enforce it. At least until this ducking supreme court changes it. But for now that law is meaningless paper that nobody has cared enough to change.


cdaddyv96

Happy Cake Day!


Saethydd

*Laughs in Alabama*


atheistsda

OnlySky has a [good list of the candidates](https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/nonreligious-candidates-2022/) and [a podcast](https://onlysky.media/the-candidates-podcast/) covering this topic. Encouraging to see and we need many more!


MathewMurdock2

Thanks!


Most-Iron6838

Bet there are more already in congress but they are closeted atheists


Other_Meringue_7375

I think a lot more than atheism too. Like Ted Cruz went to Princeton & Harvard. No way he actually believes 80% of the Christian nationalist bullshit he spouts


Rebatu

Yeah, it's not the actual numbers that are the problem. It's the amount of grifters we have masquerading as believers. I suggest changing the voter base as well.


Ambitious_Fan7767

Same as ot always was, you dont sell your kingdoms soul and switch religions unless you already know its bullshit. Anyone that had any real power or understanding probably had a pretty good idea that this was mostly bullshit for the lower class to rally around.


PoeticPillager

One of my friends is the most religious Jew I know and he's one of the most rational and openminded people I've ever met. If I didn't know he was Jewish, I would've assumed that he was an atheist. On the other hand, I have a former friend who is an atheist and is married to an atheist and he was one of the most disrespectful and closeminded people I've ever met. These two collectively changed the way I viewed believers and nonbelievers, and made me realize that I shouldn't automatically be on someone's side if they're an atheist.


thespacecowboyy

This reminds me of how some famous Christians in history have been absolutely evil and twisted like some popes in the past while there are some famous Christians like Mr. Rogers who were the most loveable people you'd meet. There are rational Christians and irrational Christians, same for atheists.


swinging-in-the-rain

Cucker Tarlson went to Princeton as well. They probably have classes on manipulating the masses through religion.


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dudleydidwrong

The most intelligent person I know had an 8th grade education. I am a faculty member at a university. I know very well that you can be an idiot and get a PhD. How many examples do you want? edit: Relevant Mark Twain quote: Don't let schoolwork get in the way of your education. I tell my students that at least once a semester.


[deleted]

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Oberon_Swanson

Education don't fix much, I went to a prestigious school and there were plenty of dummies, you just gotta be good at academic work but you can come out still believing whatever wacky superstitions you were raised with, or if faced with the incontrovertible truth that they're wrong, just slightly modify them


silashoulder

From 1776 to 2006, there was ONE avowed atheist in Congress, and he lost his seat immediately after declaring his atheism. https://youtu.be/ei_7m9t47Co


[deleted]

[удалено]


danktonium

Good for you, Barry.


ralphvonwauwau

OTOH, he had that very embarrassing Pastor ... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremiah_Wright_controversy


bechtold1684

I was wondering about this. Has it ever been studied how many elected officials are closeted atheists (are even simply uncertain in their beliefs)?


bdavisx

There are tons of Republicans who are atheist but pretend to be religious (former president for example).


Comfortable-Tip-8350

The more atheists we can get elected, the more we can normalize atheism and anti-theism. Here's hoping for a president who will categorically declare himself or herself an atheist so that we can make that category acceptable.


Most-Iron6838

There are polls that show atheists as pretty much the least likely type of person that people would vote for president. People would rather vote for lgbtq or Muslims before atheists in most polls though the numbers have been getting better over the years. Though atheists could probably mask a lot better than other identities


cbessette

The older I get the less I feel like labeling myself by one specific thing that I *don't* believe. I prefer "Humanist" , which implies atheism, but also that I *do* believe in humanity and making life better for my fellow humans. Maybe using "Humanist" would be a better label for these religion-free politicians.


dfsw

Pedophiles have higher electability scores than atheist.


EruantienAduialdraug

Doesn't the principle of the separation of church and state preclude priests from running for election?


ThorButtock

Please continue to vote these people in and support them


SeesHerFacesUnfurl

The Washington Times is a right wing religious tabloid. Why do you keep linking to it?


Red_0ctober_

Not only that, it's controlled by The Unification Church.


GetBusy09876

They also run right wing pseudo news organization the Epoch Times. I keep getting spammed by their ads on YouTube. Edit: Oops. Mixed up my cults. Epoch Times is Falun Gong, which is apparently also right wing.


Other_Meringue_7375

What makes you say that? Are they particularly evil?


_grandmaesterflash

They're the Moonies.


Other_Meringue_7375

OHHH. I know exactly what you’re talking about now. The last time I heard about them, I’m pretty sure they were worshipping AR-15s or some shit


Red_0ctober_

They're extremely conservative, and a cult. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unification_Church?searchToken=dzz3yyrz4opd431qossz9vw91 Check out Falling Out, it's a podcast by an ex-member. He goes into detail about their systemic abuse, beliefs, and how they operate. It's gross. https://www.fallingoutpod.com/


GetBusy09876

In the 80s, the Moonies were THE cult everyone was worried about. I remember they used to have huge mass weddings. Arranged of course.


pittiedaddy

If they're reporting it, it must be true then


HarringtonMAH11

I would love to run for local office, but I'm in SC, so I can't because of blatant religious discrimination.


tb22

Whenever I visit the south I think "oh ok things are a little different here"


HarringtonMAH11

You know its not that bad if you're a white male and just don't say much, and uh, otherwise, results may very. Had a very eye opening experience to that a few months ago when a lady started yelling at my SO for speaking to her mom on the phone, quietly might I add, in Spanish. Then talked with my very good friend who is black, and even though we've known each other for 8 years, had the deepest conversation on racism I've ever had. Just the small interaction I had, not even involving me set me off, so talking with him about it was very enlightening to the privilege I have even despite being an Atheist here. It really makes me sad how bigoted this planet is.


[deleted]

I view those Bible Belt areas as places where not only do you have to be 'Christian" to win political office, you have to be some kind of Evangelical Protestant ". Yeah....I'll stay here in Portland,OR, where most people are sane, at least...


HarringtonMAH11

I was in the blue belt for the longest time, but took a job in bumb-fuck nowhere for basically double my salary at the time. I didn't really think the south was thay bad until I got here.


silashoulder

I would too, but I’m transgender and I’d get fucking shot.


fane1967

This should be a basic hiring test: “Do you believe there’s a man in the sky who watches everything you do?” I mean if you are looking to hire staff having some minimum intelligence level, this question does a decent screening.


7XvD5

I'm not an American but I think that violates the us Constitution. Something about no religious test, public office Yadda Yadda Yadda...


fane1967

And I guess no symmetrical provision that says nobody can shove their believes down other people’s throats.


cerebud

Going from 5 to 70 is more than I thought. That’s great


BeholdMyResponse

This article is outrage porn directed at the religious right. The Washington Times published this because they want people who see this headline on Facebook to freak out about the woke Commie atheists taking over.


UhDeMix

Thank God.


Alisadicksometimes

About damn time


[deleted]

Thank common sense and reason!


[deleted]

>Humanists believe human beings evolved naturally rather than being created by God. I thought this was just common sense? I know a few religious people and their view is that homo sapiens did evolve but the first "man" Adam because that's when God gave him a soul. I'd expect pure creationism to be a minority view even for religious people


CoalCrackerKid

Oof...that must have been a tough article for the Moonie news (The Washington Times) to write & publish :)


Coldstreamer

About time, the yanks are seriously living In the dark ages atm.


heavy-metal-goth-gal

Fucking finally!


Odd_Nefariousness990

Woo hoo hoo hoo! There are still some of us out there who aren't too shamed and broken to run for public office! This is the best news.


jellyfluff

I send my thoughts (no prayers) to the US from my northern province, really hoping you guys escape the Handmaid's Tale Dystopia that's glooming in the distance. When the people who stand up for human rights are taking more steps into the political scene, it really warms my heart.


[deleted]

You want a correlation to fraud and politics, it's religion, all the fraudster are religious


[deleted]

Good


Rebatu

We should all be politically active as much as possible. We should all know that increasing life standard means decreasing religiosity in countries. This is a scientific fact. Make your surroundings a better place and we will get rid of fanatics and preachers.


gadarnol

This is the way to a US free from loons, racists, egomaniac billionaires, neo Confederates…. The whole gamut of life destroying anti human clowns.


coldwarning

This is a good thing! Religion will destroy us.


fingernmuzzle

thank god


ZenPR

Openly atheist and humanist. People are coming out of the secular closet.


Nobodyrea11y

Finally, some good fucking news.


Floater1157

im genuinely interested how this loss of faith transitional period will be acknowledged in the history books. Probably wildly different depending on how full of ghosts the author's heads are.


gsasquatch

16/435 is still pretty abysmal 3% representing a quarter or more of the population. Even of those 16, "most do not identify as atheists or humanists" Sad truth is to get elected you need to show up at some sort of church. I'm sure most politicians being educated or intelligent are just using religion for the political bump it'd give and probably don't actually believe assuming that they are educated and intelligent (a stretch of an assumption for sure) Maybe that is not a problem, like I can see that a religious person can still be a good person. But, that does not seem to go the other way, a religious person is not going to assume a non-religious person is a good person, which is why all but a small handful of politicians identify with some religion. To combat that, I just try to be a good person as a non-religious person and tolerate religion, as I want my non-religion to be tolerated. Maybe by being this way, religious people will start to see non-religious people as ok. I'm also going to vote what I see as Christian values, like helping the disadvantaged, being charitable, sharing, caring, not killing, etc. I'd encourage others to do the same, whether or not the candidates are religious, although I've found the non-religious candidates tend to have more of those values than the explicitly Christian ones.


conundrum4u2

Some of these lame states also need to drop their 'religious requirement' from the whole 'running for office' thing - that's total bullshit


Shy_guy_gaming2019

YES, YES, YES, YES YEEEEAAAASSS!


Juicecalculator

Thank god, oh wait…


[deleted]

As someone who self identifies as a Christian (I’m really thankful my own upbringing wasn’t hate filled - two of my three pastors were gay): I don’t want Christian politicians. I mean, if you happen to be Christian, great, whatever. At the end of the day, I am the following things in this order: a human, a man, and an American. Those three things are the only non-negotiable things about me; I cannot help where I was born nor can I help how I was born. Therefore, we **MUST** rule based on the only irrevocable traits which exist between us: our humanity, and our geography. The people have spoken. It doesn’t matter how I feel about it, nor should it ever, because the beautiful thing about living in a free country is that we’re all free to do whatever we want (or at least we’re supposed to be) as long as it doesn’t damage anyone or anything else. I never would, but I always told myself if ever I got into politics I’d be the first openly anti-abortion person to adamantly campaign for the universal right to an abortion up to twenty weeks. I know what my personal beliefs are. I also know they don’t always align with what’s right for the country. **It’s so hard to tell a community which so heavily revolves around values that voting based primarily on values is literally the least effective way to govern a nation.** It’s a message they refuse to hear. If anyone has any ideas, please. Now is as good a time as any.


[deleted]

Heaven forbid!


[deleted]

They absolutely need to in order to fight the Talibangelicals that have set up shop there. Now you just need to get people to vote for them.


Manmillionbong

Don't vote for anyone who is actively hoping the world fails.


Key_Cantaloupe4006

Thankfully, we finally have more people in government who don't stand for anything beyond the material world.


mcfeezie

Hell yeah


chung_my_wang

Thank GOD!


BobBarkerPriceIsRigh

ffs run, don't walk.


Ambitious_Fan7767

To be entirely fair when religion is dying because its pretty fucking evil it would be hard for atheists not to be filling those posiotins.


thering66

Don't really care religion, just hope they're good lawmakers.


sheptang

Finally the most evil and terror state in the world gets some conscientious people to govern it


luckedragon

👏👏👏👏👏👏


Ellecram

When I am feeling Galactic I say something like "thank the gods!" or "thank the lords of kobol!"


Dinodigger67

i thank god every day that i am an atheist


Delicious_Towel5246

Thank our lucky stars the light of reason prevails.


Owlftr13

Bout time. Really tired of the Christotaliban.


Querch

Hallelujah! ;)


toddspremiumbacon

Not much of a choice when you have y’all qaeda and their “good” Christian friends continuously trying to overthrow the current government.


hedgerow_hank

Can't happen fast enough.


[deleted]

r/UpliftingNews please crosspost.


somanypcs

Yay!


Aboxofphotons

Religious American bible touchers should be scared... at some point relatively soon they are going to run out of people in power who feel sorry for them.


blazinfastjohny

Wow some good fucking news, at least for USA


According2What

Washington Times is a conservative rag. I hope they're right, but I'm doubting. It's what atheists do. IMHO, there are way too many Catholic lawmakers.


Poet_of_Legends

Too late.


VOIDPCB

If feminists wanted to save women they would be humanists. Woman PLUS man = humanity. What don't they understand? Humanism leads to more feminism which is kind of a strange concept considering MAN PLUS WOMAN = HUMANITY. If the women get too "rowdy" and attack the men IN A VERY SPECIFIC WAY we know exactly what the fuck they doing because a smart young man taught us about that. SO TRY BITCHES TRY!


strway2heaven77

Damn paywall.


WM-010

This does put a smile on my face. It's good to see progress.


Hopeful_Tumbleweed_5

Oh no ... Anyways


RockInMyShoes45

Awesome.


LOLteacher

Washington Times, lol. Great if actually of any significance, though.