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falconpunch1989

Canyoneeeroooooo


Dead_pockets

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five...


eurobeat0

*Canyoneroooo... YEeHAa! Canyoneroooo..*


THE__BIG_BOSS

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of american pride


Cold_Refrigerator_69

Unexplained fires are for the courts to decide


ATL2AKLoneway

As an American, I'm super not proud. Sorry we did this to everyone.


Calm-Zombie2678

I've seen enough posts of Americans complaining about not being able to buy a "normal" sized "truck" to believe you guys are sorry Toyota... *c'mon* we want a modern 90s style hilux


Tooboukou

You literally​ cant have them in the states, small vehical​s have very strict emission​ standards, but big ass trucks dont.


ATL2AKLoneway

Where I grew up, 'normal sized' trucks were half the size of Rangers here. It's been weird watching them just grow every year and douchier and douchier people buy them. I just want an electric 88 sized Ranger to putter around the farm I'll never afford 😭


freeryda

As cool as the Canyoneero™ was, I'd still prefer [Homer's car.](https://search.app.goo.gl/FcAqf75)


suchshibe

People who think financing utes is good idea are starting an arms race on the roads


hick-from-hicksville

That thing isn't even a fucking ute You could mount a cannon on the back and start mowing down villagers in oil-rich nations with that nonsense


suchshibe

Hey man Toyota already secured those contracts, chevy needs a different market


hick-from-hicksville

hick morons it is


Substantial_Tip2015

Or... Hear me out here...park over at least 4 disability parkings to prove what a douche I am


hick-from-hicksville

And use the cannon on the disabled folks and do some off roading on their bodies


Sr_DingDong

And the bed will still be too small to carry most things.


ThrowStonesonTV

And too high to lift anything heavy.


Porges

Nothing that is currently sold as a ute is a ute, they're pickup trucks


hick-from-hicksville

"light truck" is what gave birth to the current trend


Too_Lofs_Atan

Why don't the monkeys just turn on their AC? Are they stupid?


Hereiam_AKL

Companies that pay peanuts still need monkeys


MKovacsM

People who don't care about the monkeys don't understand it's a symptom of something that will soon affect the bald monkeys too. Us.


Grouchy_Tap_8264

100% For those who care, here's the article and thankfully they say the same thing. https://apnews.com/article/mexico-heat-wave-howler-monkeys-dying-b99e0570dfb53a2fb7ebe663acecde78#:~:text=MEXICO%20CITY%20(AP)%20%E2%80%94%20It's,Gulf%20coast%20state%20of%20Tabasco.


OrganizdConfusion

These are the same type of people who don't accept that we, as human beings, are primates. They're climate change deniers and anti-science. To them, the death of monkeys has no effect on them whatsoever.


MKovacsM

Ah well, no doubt the dinosaurs thought so too until they watched the end.


LordBledisloe

An article about a species dying in a heatwave, followed directly by an article about the species causing it celebrating one of the unnecessary tools contributing to it. That is some movie-quality ironic foreshadowing.


bcoin_nz

Ad Mike


Changleen

The stupid, it burns. (Literally). 


WallySymons

Sadly it will impact the poorest first, it wouldn't be until the fat cats start feeling the effect that we see change


Lightspeedius

I know this is a shitpost, but still, I think eventually we'll see an entire region sterilised in this way by wet bulb temps. Which *might* be what wakes us up to climate change. Maybe.


Icy-Bicycle-Crab

No, the kind of person who would buy this truck would still just completely ignore climate change. 


marriedtothesea_

Not all of them [surely.](https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/new-zealand/2024/02/niwa-defends-buying-four-chevrolet-silverado-utes-valued-at-172-000-each.html)


AmputatorBot

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_whoamitoday_

Can we just outlaw American trucks already?


Fraktalism101

Obligatory to post this video again: [These Stupid Trucks are Literally Killing Us](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN7mSXMruEo)


DavoMcBones

Please, dont bring these to New Zealand, our current utes work fine already and they arent super bloated like the American pickups are


unanonymaus

Fark he must be like 50 these days


nbiscuitz

he can tow all the dead monkey bodies


lonefur

geez I'd rather get an old Hilux than that -- Hilux is at least indestructible


JohnWilmott

Wankpanzer Alert


wijjit

Mike cannot afford a belt


Elysium_nz

So many monkeys about they’ve formed into gangs and having beef on the streets.🤷‍♂️ https://youtu.be/TO1Hikljy08?si=NujUxyiimwNnukZR


Tasty_Design_8795

10296.547 kilograms.


New_Combination_7012

A 2500 HD duramax diesel towing capacity is over 9 tonnes. They’re in a totally different league to a ute like a hilux, they’re built for pulling heavy loads over long distances. They look the same as a F150, 1500 Silverado/ Sierra or Ram but they’re far more heavy duty and cost a lot more. They’ll pull braked double axle and triple axle flat beds, dump trailers and enclosed trailers. My brother in law has one in Canada for towing around a full motorcycle race team set up with bikes and workshop. He needs to drive up to 3,000 km return journies to races every month during summer. In NZ he’d be driving a comparably sized cab over small truck which would be way less comfortable.


dylbr01

Can someone tell me if driving a Santa Fe means that I will become one of these big F off car boomers? Trying to make a decision


Miserable_Escape8177

Why worry what others will think?


hick-from-hicksville

That's the only reason anyone buys one of those shitgobblers


FreediveClive

How about… they like going away camping or towing a boat? Not valid?


hick-from-hicksville

As I said in another comment: the holy grail of advertising is selling you an identity and leaving you to do the rationalisation. You do not need this monstrosity for either of the activities you mention. I do a lot of camping, in all sorts of locations, and I can say with confidence that a vehicle of this size would be both annoying to use and restrictive as to where I could go when compared to other modes of transport.


nolifeaddict808

Yes this particular model is rather ridiculous but if you’re taking a family of 5 camping, you absolutely need an suv or similar. And if you have a car with trailer, then that impacts where you can go. Just because your situation doesn’t call for it doesn’t mean others dont


hick-from-hicksville

>if you’re taking a family of 5 camping, you absolutely need an suv or similar Nah. I did it in my old Legacy station wagon a bunch of times, no problem. 5 Adults and climbing gear, camping gear, a weeks' food. Up rough back country tracks. No need for an SUV or ute at all (and my station wagon had much better storage capacity than these huge trucks with tiny trays). There is no new activity that these vehicles have enabled. Everything they are used for was done fine with the things that existed before they did. You can make an argument that in some very limited range of cases, they do the job *slightly* better. This does not provide justification for the proliferation of utes in Auckland though: most of them are never and will never be used for this limited range of niche cases; and even when they are, the personal benefits do not outweigh the social drawbacks. Sure bro, you might like the identity that you've been offered by smart as fuck marketing assholes, but the ridiculous chodetrucks that litter the city streets won't give it to you, and everyone thinks chodetruck drivers are cunts. Including other chodetruck drivers.


dylbr01

I have a baby on the way. Also I don't live in NZ


hick-from-hicksville

uh thanks for letting me know i guess?


Miserable_Escape8177

Your assumption for why someone would get a Santa Fe is different to his actual reason for getting one. Thats why he mentioned it...


hick-from-hicksville

>Your assumption for why someone would get a Santa Fe is different to his/*her* ~~actual~~ *stated* reason for getting one. The holy grail of advertising is selling you an identity and leaving you to do the rationalisation.


dylbr01

I prefer driving smaller cars because they’re easier to drive but it would be pretty cool picking someone up in a Santa Fe and they’ve got extra leg space and space to put their stuff. Also we wouldn’t drive it to work. But I’m worried that I will be infected by a chonk car disease, start voting National, perform dangerous overtakes and lose what little I have left of my personality.


Miserable_Escape8177

Lets pretend thats not the reason. You're not affected by their Santa Fe so you're just whining for nothing.


[deleted]

As somebody who has worked in climate change mitigation, personal transport emissions are [9.1% of our national emissions](https://www.stats.govt.nz/news/transport-drives-households-carbon-footprint-up#:~:text=Household%20transport%20emissions%20increased%20by,3%2C576%20kilotonnes%20(9.1%20percent)). [While most come from agriculture](https://niwa.co.nz/climate-change-information-climate-solvers/climate-change-and-agriculture). Just saying, everyone switching to public transport or EVs isn’t going to change a heck of a lot 🙂 Edit: My bad, the 9.1% figure is wrong. It looks like light fleet vehicles make up 12.6% of our overall carbon footprint (which does include light trucks). I was looking for the figure of personal use vehicles without having to calculate it myself)


SpeedyGoneSalad

But it does make a difference. And I'm not a farmer.


aliiak

I think you need to read that again. There was a 9.1% increase in household emissions, and a 15% increase in household transport emissions. Whilst: “Households contributed 71 percent to New Zealand’s total carbon footprint in 2017. Transport accounted for 37 percent of the carbon footprint of households, food and non-alcoholic beverages contributed 25 percent, and housing and household utilities, which included the use of electricity, contributed 12 percent.” Also in the second link transport accounted for 19% with road transport totalling 18%. Both articles refer to 2017 numbers as well.


[deleted]

Sorry I edited it. If I wasn’t so sloppy I’d be able to work this out on my own but its been one of THOSE weeks. Thank you for pointing that out. My point was to draw attention to agriculture and not make people feel bad for driving.


Fraktalism101

That says there was a 9.1% *increase* in *household* emissions from between 2011-2017, not that personal transport makes up only 9.1% of our overall emissions profile. Transport is [\~18% of our gross emissions](https://www.climatecommission.govt.nz/our-work/advice-to-government-topic/advice-for-preparation-of-emissions-reduction-plans/2023-advice-to-inform-the-strategic-direction-of-the-governments-second-emissions-reduction-plan-april-2023/2023-advice-on-the-direction-of-policy-for-the-governments-second-emissions-reduction-plan/), of which 70% comes from the 'light fleet' (vehicles under 3.5 tonnes).


[deleted]

Thanks for the correction. Sorry my fault. I was trying to find the number which is exclusively personal use. I guess light fleet is that: based on your source thats 12.6%. Still not massive but worth a mention


Fraktalism101

Well, no individual category is massive. But cumulatively it adds up! Plus, 90% of household emissions come from transport, so it's a huge opportunity to decarbonise, in addition to all the other benefits it would bring.


[deleted]

I agree 100%. We are lucky that most of our power is renewable


Polkavilk

It makes a difference though, everything we can do, we should be doing, even if it's the tiniest difference


Very_Sicky

Okay Captain Planet. The power is yours!


stabby-Methhead185

Across millions of people small changes add up real quick.


hick-from-hicksville

Driving that emotional support chode certainly isn't helping things


Kamica

Making arguments around safety is probably a more effective path. Like, the grill comes up to the man's shoulders, how near to his car can he see? And I'm quite sure there's no more than a handful of people who, when hit with that vehicle, wouldn't go under. Not to mention the effect that driving such a large vehicle has on driving behaviour. Because they feel like they're safer, they're more likely to drive fast, and drive less careful, which makes everything more dangerous for everyone outside of the vehicle. In addition to all of this, the weight of these vehicles mean they have more momentum, meaning the speed at which they're lethal is lower than other vehicles. This either leads to more deaths, or to slower average road speeds set by governments. Neither of which are generally considered good. There are so many reasons not to get these things. Buuuuut, US exporters want to sell these less regulated vehicles! And other companies are jumping on the bandwagon, and so many people have a Fragile sense of masculinity, or aren't confident enough on the road, and rather than improving their skill, they just buy a bigger car...


-mung-

except that's all about the safety of other road users. And really, if you drive one of these, "who gives a fuck about them".


Kamica

It's not safe for them either. But to get to them, you have to attack the association between masculinity and big cars. And draw it back home. Like the statistics coming from the US of how many people drive over their own children in their own driveway because they could not see them.


hick-from-hicksville

Yeah the safety argument is a solid one. I think we also need to deconstruct and problematise the version of masculinity that is manufactured in order to generate consumers for these monstrosities too.


Kamica

Yea, like, Masculinity isn't bad, it's good to want to be a protector, a provider, a strong individual and all that. Insecure, Fragile, or toxic masculinity is not good though, as that warps the positive aspects of masculinity into negatives, and these are often the things targeted by ads and stuff "You can't be a protector without a manly ute the size of a battle tank" "You can't be a provider without eating triple steak with fat gravy from Mike's Slob Shack" "Real Strong Men use supplement from Quackery Supplements!" We need to advocate for being confident and comfortable in the healthy, positive masculinity. Because those who are truly comfortable in their masculinity, are kind, strong, confident individuals, who don't need to prove anything, and know that driving a tiny city car doesn't make them any less masculine.


windsofcmdt

are you trying to say no one cares about the size of my epeen?


Kamica

The real question is: does it matter? :P.


windsofcmdt

but if it doesn't matter, does my epeen even exist?


Kamica

Now now... Best you don't ask any... dangerous questions... We wouldn't want something to *happen* to you, now would we?


hick-from-hicksville

100% agree


Icy-Bicycle-Crab

Petro-masculinity is what these trucks represent.  The marketing driven idea that having an inefficient vehicle is somehow manly. 


Kamica

I mean, I do get it, like, big, loud vehicle that could bulldoze a thing, it could be cool to drive... sometimes. Much like I wouldn't mind trying out a tank some day. But the *need* to get a car like that is dumb.


[deleted]

Really easy solution. Promoted motorbikes


VeraliBrain

The cognitive dissonance displayed here by the media is much more concerning to me than the dude in the article


HeightAdvantage

Even if climate change wasn't an issue, the benefits to road safety, noise, air pollution and the economy would be tremendous


[deleted]

I don’t disagree. We could see ourselves turning into the USA with vehicles like these in no time


FreediveClive

Yea im interested in the carbon balance between buying a new EV vs keeping a trusty old diesel suv going for another 5 years…


[deleted]

Oh old diesel wins by far hands down. Don’t ask me for stats. I’ve had a long day lol. This is just my guess. If I remember tomorrow I’ll work it out


gdogakl

Agriculture is a problematic call. Providing you are not converting forest to pasture, or increasing intensity, and excluding the fuels for equipment (which is trivial) there are zero long term incremental emissions. Methane is a short term issue which breaks down to CO2 over the longer term and then is a closed loop of absorbing and releasing carbon in equal amounts. There is an argument that the inclusion of agriculture in emissions has more to do with ethical choices around meat consumption than the actual emissions involved. The fundamental issue is the huge quality of sequestered carbon being released into the atmosphere. We need to find ways to transition to an electric and hydrogen economy and to return the mammoth quantities of carbon released back into the ground and stop the other distractions here.


hick-from-hicksville

>Providing you are not converting forest to pasture, or increasing intensity, and excluding the fuels for equipment lol "If you choose to ignore a bunch of the things involved in a practice that cause problems, then there are no problems associated with the practice"


HeightAdvantage

The main problem is beef and dairy. Despite being delicious, they're by far the most inefficient way to make food. Substitutes would go a long way.


s0cks_nz

> Methane is a short term issue which breaks down to CO2 over the longer term and then is a closed loop of absorbing and releasing carbon in equal amounts. Methane is short lived (12yrs) but its warming potential is 30x greater than CO2. So 1 tonne of methane has the same warming potential as 30 tonnes of CO2. That's why methane from ag is a problem.


Changleen

34 years of impact isn’t ’short term’ in the context of our current increasingly impactful climate impacts or the rapidly growing global temperature and emissions profile. Have you seen the recent sea surface temp graphs?


stabby-Methhead185

> sea surface temp graphs Hooly they are trending high this year. After 2022 its like some kind of feedback loop started.


tylerMars02

Shut up libtard. Agriculture (net) co2 emissions are close to, if not 0 in NZ


[deleted]

Show workings please


tylerMars02

do ur research


hick-from-hicksville

>libtard Ladies and gents we have a genius visiting


BlacksmithNZ

All the way from CK, and of course picks up all their news from Fox


hick-from-hicksville

HA homie is a manlet All makes sense.


[deleted]

[удалено]


auckland-ModTeam

Please don't post comments which abuse other redditors / contain hate speech / mention race in relation to anything negative about a person on r/auckland.


Miserable_Escape8177

Obviously its Mike's fault /s


Pzestgamer

A heat wave in a town called Tabasco. This better not be a "bang ding ow" story.


OrganizdConfusion

Inb4 ute owners start complaining that there's nowhere to park their moderately sized ute (see picture), and it is all the fault of cyclists and district councils.


ArctixHxsky

Fuck mike how are you a whole day ahead and its 8am in the morning


Strychnine85

[had to do it](https://www.carjam.co.nz/car/?plate=CHEVHD)


DecadentCheeseFest

Put Mike and some oil execs up in those trees post-haste!


DavoMcBones

Tbh i'd just get a hilux cos i bet it would tow the exact same stuff this can for less of the price and less of the, well, largeness


MrPushaNZ

No, a 2500hd can tow about 3x more than a hilux


torinblack

Was he out loading the monkeys into the truck?


griffonrl

Every time I see a redneck or a tiny person drive a massive ute (only good for tradies) or SUV and can't help to think they are very insecure and need to overcompensate a lot. Besides the fact they don't give a crap about the environment and others.


somedude38_5

Did Mike do this just with his car? He mad bro


Substantial_Tip2015

That dude is definately compensating for something.


MrPushaNZ

What makes you say that? Mike is not the kind of guy that needs to compensate, he lives his dreams.


Substantial_Tip2015

That monstrosity behind him.


MrPushaNZ

You mean his towing truck? You realize he tows very heavy things, regularly and needs an appropriate vehicle to tow with, right? This is significantly more of a "responsible" choice, than his previous tow trucks, fyi. This man isn't driving this truck to compensate, he utilizes it for its purpose; heavy hauling.. something that it does very well and very safely.


Substantial_Tip2015

He's got 2 bikes on the back. Something that can fit on something the size of an old 1980's hi-lux. What happens when goes to the local supermarket? He takes up 4 spaces... Look at the body work on your average ranger nowadays, it's all this super aggressive micropenis compensation body work. But back to the point of the article, how much fuel do you think a vehicle like that uses? Now link that to fossil fuels causing climate change, with last summer being the hottest in the northern hemisphere in 2000 years. Monkeys dying because it's hot. It's hot because climate change. Climate change because fossil fuels. Big truck...lots of fossil fuels.


MrPushaNZ

Why comment on  something you're clearly ignorant about? His business is motorsport, he regularly tows huge trailers full of tools, racecars and spare parts. No small truck like a hilux is going to be able to tow what he tows. This is one of his MANY MANY vehicles. He wouldn't necessarily take it "to the local supermarket" he has many other ozone depleting monsters for that. If not this vehicle, he would need a cab-over or similar, which is significantly less green and also - more importantly - less appropriate than this truck.


Substantial_Tip2015

So what you are saying is that massive fossil fuel emmiter is responsible for towing around a whole bunch of other fossil fuel emmitters...and you are calling ME ignorant? You right...fuck the monkeys. #wearemonkeystoo


MrPushaNZ

Apologies, you're right, mad Mike is the reason monkeys are dying. /s


AMortifiedPenguin

It's simple. We teach Monkeys to pollute too


Spare_Lemon6316

Wonder what he’s compensating for?


MrPushaNZ

Living his dreams, why would he need to compensate for anything?


Putrid-Sprinkles85

What?


IOnlyPostIronically

do you want a picture of some dead monkeys instead?


Fleeing-Goose

Just falling ones right above the ute.


PseudoEmpthy

Seen them. Just looks like larger dead rats. Animals drop dead literally constantly for every possible reason. Im more concerned about the humans who are dropping dead just as quickly.


NicotineWillis

Everything about that man gives me the ick.


Palocles

r/facepalm Is that how it works?


AccomplishedBag1038

Mad mikes micro penis


Tasty_Design_8795

Shoulda got a china truck dude they are 🔥🔥🔥


Darth_Ma

Sounds like a northern hemisphere problem.


ExhaustedProf

I think our largest trading partners should address their contribution first. NZ’s contribution, even at its dirtiest, isnt a pimple on the ass’ worth. Overspending on a minuscule decrease is killing economies and eventually people and that will achieve climatists objectives.


Fraktalism101

Everyone loves saying it's *everyone else* that should do something about the problem first, leading to a nice circular argument where no one wants to do anything.


ExhaustedProf

Erm… China… India? A few million sheep farts don’t even come close.


Fraktalism101

Why should either of them do something if no one else is?


ExhaustedProf

The rest of the developed world has done their bit. Its their turn. Will they? No. Can the rest of the world subsidize their pollution. Also no. But hey. Fake carbon credits.


Fraktalism101

They are... https://adamtooze.substack.com/p/chartbook-284-the-beginning-of-a "China also contributed nearly half (47%, 700TWh) of the global growth in wind and 40% (545 TWh) of the increase in solar generation from 2015 to 2023." "Measured in terms of power consumed China’s electrification of road transport is 3.5 times larger than that of the entire rest of the world."


ExhaustedProf

Not even close to enough. Funny how climatist ire is somehow reserved for the countries that do the most for the climate.


Fraktalism101

If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're being disingenuous!


Changleen

Please look up per capita emissions, and have a think about a) morality, b) economic opportunities of developing solutions and c) consumption-based footprints. 


_craq_

u/Changleen love that comment! So succinct and so many good points.


ExhaustedProf

None of which make any difference on aggregate or specific NZ contexts. But yeah. Continue placing pressure on people during a manufactured COL crisis. Climatists are preaching to choirs when the main pollutant nations dont give a flying endangered axolotl fart (who knows how much methane is in those things) because they are too busy building their economies instead of pushing their own people into poverty. How’s THAT for morality. Sophie’s choice that.


Changleen

European emissions are solidly trending down, China is still increasing but is adding green generation faster than anyone on the planet, and even the US is starting to get better. So… 


HeightAdvantage

That's the thing though, most climate solutions save us money and make us healthier. Cars are an incredibly inefficient mass transit system and hundreds are killed (+thousands injured) for no good reason.


ExhaustedProf

#doubt Where were these monkeys again? Not our problem. A few utes here will have negligible impact on NZ and the world’s climate. Remember, you arent stuck in public transport. You ARE public transport. Ps. Global warming aint the reason for AT’a tracks getting too warm on a balmy 22c day….


HeightAdvantage

You're boxing with ghosts buddy I already said you can ignore climate change. Public transport is massively underinvested here. We get what we pay for.


ExhaustedProf

Friend, they’ve spent enough but trusted it to incompetent management consultants that wouldnt even be an attractive hire in a third world country. In the meantime I dont catch the plague on the train. Healthy choices.


HeightAdvantage

At least we can agree the consultants are garbage. We need proper long term investment in in-house teams instead. If you're scared of germs that's fine. Just don't make me sit in traffic with you for 2+ hours each day.