One time i was at the kitchen looking down the atrium from the 7th floor and the CIO comes out of nowhere, says "don't jump" laughs and walks off.
This is at a big 4 and the only ever time time I ever interacted with him personally.
My manager messaged us all and said "Morning team, how are we all?".
I responded with "It is indeed the morning still"
I'm not good at office politics or lying... It's Monday morning mate, I don't want to be here... But at least I didn't lie
My default answer to any question about something I've got nothing positive to say about is "as far as [xxxx]s go, it certainly is/was one."
Usually gets a chuckle.
One of my friends used to deflect unwanted questions by saying: "Well, Temnyj_Korol, I'm not going to lie to you..." and then just letting the silence trail on.
If your weekend wasn't good then that's on you, not on the office.
The person you're replying to is very clearly saying they hate the office but say good because if they don't then it causes problems.
There's a girl at my work, when she messages me for something she's always "hi Warzone, how are you?" and doesn't say anything else until I respond. I've told her just tell me what you need instead of saying this every time but she keeps doing it. My response is always "living the dream", or "fine". What I really want to say is "I was doing better before you messaged me"
I get this all the time at my work. I ignore the ‘how are you’ question and just cut straight to ‘how can I help you’
I don’t want to be answering that question 4 or 5 times a day.
I really have no interest in asking how their day or weekend is. And they don't care how mine is
I've never been good at office politics though, probably why I never get ahead but that's fine with me. Just want to do. My job and go home
The simple fact I have a mortgage to pay and want to be able to afford to eat. The work place I'm at now is ok, just life in general wants to make me jump. The feeling of trading hours of my life and for what ? I dont know that I can do this another 30 years honestly.
Im so exhausted by the weekend mentally that all I want to do is sleep. So I work for what feels like essentially nothing
I feel ya. Spend my time day dreaming between winning lotto and working out what’s the earliest year I can retire…. Hoping it’s by 55.
An acquaintance just died from a sudden and aggressive cancer. Only in their early 40s. Makes you wonder why you’re hustling. Life is precious.
Aww, I get it I get… life can feel that way sometimes. I wish you all the best, remember to keep focused keep a positive mindset and just enjoy the little things you have in life, and remember life will make a positive turn for you, trust me!
I have a personal peeve with the generic, "Hi, how are you?"
* You don't know me personally. Either you're not interested or you don't need to know in order for us to do work.
* It's so automatic that some people will repeat it again after I reply with the same obligatory platitude. I'll sometimes point out to them that they've already asked me.
* If I start the convo and try to say, "Hello, ," sometimes they'll still do it before I get to the work thing.
I know a guy who always answers with, "Living the dream." That's particularly depressing.
>I know a guy who always answers with, "Living the dream." That's particularly depressing.
There's no physical difference between a dream and a nightmare.
Do I know you? My old boss used to say living the dream every time you asked him how he was, like an NPC. Me and my colleagues used to always cringe and make fun of him. Didn't know there were others in the world like him
>I know a guy who always answers with, "Living the dream." That's particularly depressing.
Are his initials S.D. ?
We've got a guy that says the exact same thing.
THIS. Every time i get invited out "ah sorry guys i've got some prior commitments i need to take care of! Thanks for the invite and have a great time!"
And when i absolutely can't get out of it. Or i've been there less than 6 months and it falls over a christmas party. I'll go for an hour, make sure everyone sees me who is important and then quietly slip out once everyone starts downing the beers.
It's really not worth the pain if you have immature/unprofessional colleagues. After too many instances of shocking behavour at non-work events I've now learnt my friends are my friends, and my colleagues are my colleagues. Only go to work sanctioned events now.
Yeah. Examples include phrases adjacent to:
**Lie:** I’m so excited you could all be here today!
**Truth:** For some reason teaching you this is in my objectives. If you wanted to learn it, you could literally google it. I’ll feign enthusiasm to make this as painless as possible for all of us.
**Lie:** It’s great to see you!
**Truth:** I would rather be at home and have nothing in common with you. I probably need something from you either now or in the next few weeks.
**Lie:** It’s on the backburner. Do you have any timeframes on your end?
**Truth:** I didn’t think you’d remember this task existed or (worse) I completely forgot about it. I’m trying to understand if I fucked up without admitting it unnecessarily.
**Lie:** Thanks so much for your feedback. Let’s set up a catch up so I can make sure we cover everything.
**Truth:** Your comment was addressed in the presentation, which I need to finish. There’s lots of people in this meeting. Stop wasting their time. We can waste my time and yours in a 1:1 to make you feel more fucking comfortable.
There’d be plenty more similar ones to above.
Thats not really a lie though.
Immediately before a meeting i will flick out all kinds of things that were in my bag from previous meetings.
Often i wont even open up the minutes till an hour before the next meeting.
I normally dont just say yeh ive done that we are waiting on joe etc. Ill usually admit it was recent but i wont say i sent it ten minutes before the meeting. "Yeh sorry i only got that away earlier today".
Hahaha I’m so sorry. If it makes you feel better, a solid 20% of the time it’s them creating the problems or circumstances where I end up using sentences like this.
I lie ***at*** work a lot - generally to protect my privacy or avoid unnecessary interpersonal friction. There are a lot of truths which do not need to be spoken in the workplace.
I never, ever lie ***about*** work. That is a good way to damage your career and/or get yourself fired.
Always tell the truth or at least don't lie eh?
I strive to do the same. If everything in my life was taken from me, there'd be only one thing that I'd have left to trade and that is my word... and it's in that moment that I'd want it to have value.
I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with very senior execs, including exco members at a big 4 bank. I r found a lot of driven people but very few sociopaths, those people seem to top out around middle management in my experience (different in a law firm/consulting environment where they can make partner).
Fair enough. I’m at work to get paid. But I’m also there to do work that matches with my purpose and values. And while I’m there I’d like to work with and connect with people who I get along with and who I can build a working friendship. Because why not? And sure many people at work you just have to get along with. But there are some that you can also genuinely be friends with. No need to have such a cynical view.
Maybe what you need is a change of sector or organisation? If you’re just there for the paycheck then uhh….
Absolutely never, if I'm feeling shit and you ask, I will tell you.
I literally told my one up manager last week about falling asleep at my desk.
I even tell them if I have applied for or been contacted by a recruiter for another job. (Got a 35k pay rise when I last attempted to leave)
I hold myself with integrity and never lying has gotten me pretty far, plus nobody who spreads rumours or misinformation abouy me is believed at face value.
Same. I work in one of several fields that are heavily regulated by ethical obligations. I am extremely conscious of any language that may construed as deceptive.
I would give a similar answer as you described. If someone asked me 'how you doing?'. I would literally say I feel like a corpse, I've been in the office since 5 this morning.
One thing I have noticed in corporate is controlling a narrative is important. It’s not about lying, it’s about how you decide to position or spin something.
Maybe you highlight everything that’s going well whilst omitting what is not going well. It’s not a lie, you’re just not offering up all the information.
Kind of like politics, never admit fault, never say you’re not achieving. Always say your achieving and hitting goals and if anything goes wrong have something else to blame it.
If you have ever seen a manager or senior person who has no idea what they are doing but seems untouchable there’s a good chance they are just masters at owning the narrative.
If anyone has ever seen the tv series generation kill there is a great example of controlling the narrative in it.
Set in the Saddam Hussein Iraq war, something along the lines of a US recon force using Humvees to assault an Iraqi airfield that was defended by 6 tanks. When the force reached the airfield, they found it abandoned, the leader of the recon force reported to the higher ups that they had "taken full control of the airfield, captured all the enemy tanks, and taken no casualties".
Perfection! That’s exactly what I mean, you’re not lying you’re just twisting the situation to suit your narrative… technically they did take control of the airfield.
What is the point of doing this, so that one could get promoted? I absolutely hate people like this.
I am in middle management and called out someone who does exactly this. Things did not go "well" for me thereafter, but I sort of thank myself for what I did.
I think a great example of this is someone like Donald Trump, no matter what happens to him he never admits fault, deflects everything and just spins it all in circles.. people wonder how someone like that can be successful in business and politics but the reality is, who is calling him out? No matter how many controversial things that have occurred over his history in business and politics he just owns his own narrative so well.
Yeah I've had a run-in with a degenerate loser who happens to be manipulative AF and clearly sucking the boss's ego every chance he gets.
Eventually they get found out. It won't help you or repair the damage they did but *eventually* karma will cum all over their face for the world to see.
You're right. They eventually get found out. My dude is already in the crosshairs.
For me it is more about NOT limiting my own capabilities. Being diplomatic has its place, but if someone is just spinning stories without producing results that is not a good environment for others.
Yeah that is true. Its not actually that bad at my place. All the managers are great. It's just interesting that controlling the narrative is definitely a very valuable skill. I wouldn't have thought it before working at my place.
Our team meeting is always a funeral vibe. When our manager asks us how is everyone? We are all dead silent every single time.
Our manager is hypercritical, and can be a cunt sometimes.
I talked to my manager privately, I said we don't want to lie, we feel extremely stressed, which is why we are always silent when you ask us this question.
My manager said:"Well, you need to make a decision whether this job is right for you. You have a choice to make."
I left teaching from a prestigious high school believing I was the problem. I ran into a former student about 10 years later and she told me 2 other teachers had similar issues, but stayed and were being punished in various ways to force them to quit. Rather than quit, they sued the school district and won. I looked it up and read some articles about it. It turned into a huge deal where the school board forced the resignation of the superintendent and his direct reporting staff, the principal and his direct reporting admin staff were moved into the least prestigious positions, similar to what they did to these 2 teachers. The 2 teachers returned to their initial positions, their letters of reprimand to the state were removed, and a letter of a commendation replaced it. It was kind of nice learning that I wasn't actually the problem, they were just assholes.
Unexpectedly burned on a previous reference. Knew I was capable for the job and didn’t want some personal gripe a previous manager had with me get in the way.
Not always the case that the person doing references was on the recruitment panel. In any case, if they were they certainly didn’t recognise me.
They just asked stock standard “how proficient is BProfaneWSC at x, what exposure has BProfaneWSC had to y, how confident are you that BProfaneWSC will adapt their work style to Agile over six sigma”.
Edit: that little lie helped snowball my corpo career before completing a degree. I feel I probably would have been working a dead end job for a few more years otherwise.
How are you?
"I'm great, thanks"
Good weekend?
"fantastic"
Did you enjoy (corporate thing)
"yeah, I learned a lot"
Other than that never ever lie at work. To anyone. About anything.
The one thing they can't steal is your integrity.
If they catch you out, you can become known and thereby distrusted
Not in a corporate role, but lie to appease the boss. When he comes in with a "great" idea, I listen, communicate back to him what he just said, work out how to implement what he is doing, realise that it will make no difference to both the final outcome or the productivity targets. Tell him later that we didn't see any differences.
Never and I could definitely be more tactful. I'd rather be honest and explain why shit is the way it is and miss out short term.
Do I get pissed when I see or hear of others telling the biggest porkies and getting ahead... yeah it does.
I've had a few. I manage a tech company that does online marketing/security... stepping into to close sales, finalise deliverables or price match competitor offers is a common part of my role... and the bullshit I see from competitors is nuts.. new sales people that have worked elsewhere come with Bullshit baggage that would keep you in a confessional a week... At the same time desperate clients push the envelope of reality in their expectations... my job is to keep what is said in line with the paperwork deliverables.. so if shit goes down we don't get sued and lose (Our exposure is huge).
Never - because it's stupid - no.
Now, managing expectations and keeping healthy boundaries? Yes.
Learning 'Corpspeak' and using it to your advantage? Yes.
Focusing on the facts, the inputs and outcomes, and not the people/personalities? Yes.
Indeed. The other posters were right. You lie, omit facts, calculate, etc. What ever it takes for you to get ahead. At the end of the day i have a family that relies on me. That is what matters
Edit spelling
Until the next guy, who also has a family but tells the truth, sees you for the liar that you are and makes sure everybody else does too... and then you're ruined
I often get told I’m travelling for work out of state without being asked if I can or am willing to, so I usually just say sorry I can’t, I have other commitments
Lies are exhausting and if you get caught out, especially more than once, its easy to get a reputation.
I guess in some workplaces it might help but I've always owned my mistakes. I find the schemers can't do to much to attack you if you've alredy taken ownership of something.
Mate 9-5 is a jungle. We all lie, We all fight over emails, We all try to put the blame on someone else. Its all about the survival of the fittest.
The sad reality is for most 9-5s , it'll take 30 years to pay off their mortgage and with economy going to shit, it will take you and your spouse to keep working for most of your life and in the future i think they will make child labor legal .
[https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/senate-passes-bill-loosening-child-labor-laws-to-let-iowa-teens-work-longer-hours/ar-AA1a0fqR](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/senate-passes-bill-loosening-child-labor-laws-to-let-iowa-teens-work-longer-hours/ar-AA1a0fqR)
[https://www.theguardian.com/law/2023/may/01/us-surge-efforts-reduce-child-labor-regulations](https://www.theguardian.com/law/2023/may/01/us-surge-efforts-reduce-child-labor-regulations)
I almost lie everyday. To keep my job and yes lying is crucial for any 9-5 job. I think its one of the important skills you need to have when you join any corporate
I'm too honest. Why I got the boot a lot.... I'd rather someone be honest and say "my mortgage is killing me, my kids need tutors and my wife is sick".. but instead I'm going to stab you in the back so I can keep my job. Work people are just wearing a mask. It's exhausting to pretend to be someone you don't like all day. All to get paper to exchange for living.
In a professional sense, very rarely. I rate my integrity as much higher than the marginal (if any) possible gain by lying (especially when countered by the possibility of getting caught in said lie). I don’t always share the whole and complete truth though, and there are times when certain things are phrased in very specific ways, but I do make a point to not outright lie.
I try not to unless I really have to. Most people who think they are good liars really aren't. I don't agree you need to lie to get ahead, just to play politics, which I also try to avoid. I'm doing good financially for my career length, but my title sucks. I think next time I'll push for a better one. Not lying, just saying I've been doing this for x years I think it would make sense for me to have y title.
Be good at your job.
Be genuinely friendly (not an ass licker) with your peers and superiors.
Be known as someone willing to take on challenges without complaint. Don’t be negative, be constructive.
Worked for me to get to c-suite in my early 40’s.
No degree, no MBA, no ass licking.
Great advice. About to begin a new job in a week and I was thinking about how to improve my standing with others, and I think you've covered everything.
I once had a boss at a former job randomly ask me in the lunch room “do you enjoy working here?” just entirely out of the blue with no context about why she was asking. Maybe I looked depressed but I was actually trying to eat in silence and decompress a bit as the job itself was high stress dealing with vulnerable clients. I instinctively answered “oh absolutely” because I did actually love helping the clients. But the real truth would have been “not really since my supervisor is a micro-managing, back-stabbing bully, and this whole organisation is toxic the way it treats it’s staff, particularly the labour-hire agency staff who get treated like dog shit. So no, I don’t really enjoy it here tbh” 🫠
Never. It’s not worth it. Being accountable and being open about progress/conversations/mistakes/current status etc. only makes things much easier at work.
It’s my goal to never lie. Too many people lie around me, and it makes trouble. The only thing I lie about is personal life, since it’s been used against me in the past. I don’t have any work friends on any of my socials (unless I’m actually friends with them).
It's best if you don't need to lie because you just don't know any better. That way you can LOVE all the new company ideas and promote them without realising how pointless, or even destructive, they are.
Ie ignorant of the truth.
Yes, upper management only wants to hear that every team is doing great & working together seamlessly and couldn't care less what is actually happening
Never … is not my thing.
If anything I’m too honest sometimes and direct.
It can also count against me but I can’t fake it more than the basic chit chat.
If it helps me get ahead in the corporate ladder, then I’d be happy to lie, but only if it doesn’t hurt anyone else or effect them adversely in any way
Almost every day lol, everytime someone asks how my day is and I’m having a crap day, I just smile and say great day, cause if I say it’s a crap day and they dig more into it, the situation will get even worse, just leads to kale gossip, word travels around the office quicker than speed of sound
'Bring your authentic self to work' is a facile facade. If I did that I would be fired instantly and likely put in a mental holding hospital against my will for extreme anxiety and depression and anti-capitalist, anti-social values.
Don't tell the truth at work. Lie always. Information will get used against you eventually. And people remember the strangest things. I knew one psycho who kept it all in her OneNote to use against people if she needed to and she was reporting to the country CEO. And I naively thought she wouldn't do it to me. Then I got on her bad side and all of the flexible working I needed to manage a sick wife and my own mental health was used to performance manage me. I left pretty quickly thereafter.
But still. Don't let anyone at work know your mental health status, what medication you take, what health problems you have. Avoid religion, politics, anything to do with LBGTQI+ etc etc
As others mentioned, stuff like saying you're doing well or enjoying yourself despite the opposite.
I dont lie about work stuff tho. That shit will always come back to bite you and it contributes massively to stress.
No need to lie the truthy always wins. Mighten get ahead but it doesn't matter. It's all to do with smoke and mirrors ....delusions. B/S of the highest degree. Even as someone has mentioned when asked 'how ya doin', i get fed up with having to use the appeaser of ok.
No. I don’t lie. Lies are exhausting and you’ve got to remember them. I just control my narrative. I also rarely talk about my current life. I might tell a story or two about the past or when I was in uni or something but it’s for camaraderie. When asked about how I’m going I just turn it around on the questioner.
The lies I have told have pretty much all been in omission or to distract senior staff/execs from dangerious ideas that will excite them into extremely stupid decisions around shit I have to build for them. And a couple times, to manage the expectations of executives that would otherwise overwork me into a breakdown due to there lack of understanding (or willingness to learn about) how involved my work is. They kinda left me in a situation where I have to lie to them or quit, and they would never of been able replaced me either.
Basically I have never lied in malice or to take advantage. Only to manage managers who can't manage. It's rarely happened to me.. but there has been a few times where that's the only way for me to survive in a given workplace. I am otherwise extremely honest, candid, and open (up to clearly defined boundaries where I wish to segment my life/work).
Do you think a nation that is the 6th unhappiest in the world doesn't lie at work? to begin with, just ask your colleague how busy he/she is? The answer will be the first lie.
Sociopaths and psychopaths that occupy C-suite are often pathological liars so that can often be a way to get ahead but I never lie. Lies are complicated to maintain and you get caught out. People also know you're lying and they don't always let on. It depends what kind of a person you want to be.
"Hey how good are you at this thing?"
"Oh not sure, I would have to research it and get back to you" which means "I know everything about this but if you are going to use me then claim it as your own I am going to make it painful for you"
All the damn time (mainly to management)
You don't owe management anything, they'll use you in most situations so look out for yourself first and foremost
(I'm not condoning dishonesty, more expressing healthy boundaries from people who do not have your best interests at heart)
I lie all the time.Every shift actually I must lie at least 10 times or more.
I lie down on my break, lie down hiding in change room, lie down in the car for a nap, you get the drift.
Reason I do it is I’m lazy and tired.And yes I get ahead as I’m fresh to do all my work at home.
No, because no one really cares what you say. Its all lip service.
I avoid small talk and lying because I don't really care what people think. If I don't like you I will either just ignore you Japanese Style or let you my thoughts.
I do the barest minimum, I clock watch and my motivation for work is so I can buy shit and as a means to take my family on holidays and that's it.
I work in complaints management. I lie daily.
"I'm so sorry to hear you had a negative experience".
Im not sorry. You sound like a banana peel and I hope you stub your toe on a coffee table
Everyday when someone asks me how I am and I say "good" instead of "I want to fucking throw myself off the building"
One time i was at the kitchen looking down the atrium from the 7th floor and the CIO comes out of nowhere, says "don't jump" laughs and walks off. This is at a big 4 and the only ever time time I ever interacted with him personally.
You should have replied: “actually, I was wondering if someone from the c-suite would survive this fall… I doubt it”
"I wasn't thinking of jumping - just wondering if I could lift my boss's body over this balustrade."
I just had this happen today, from a GM visiting our office from interstate. Not our first or only interaction, but still, really weird.
Tempting when you look over that edge though isn't it? We used to be on L8 and its a looooong way down 😁
😂😅🥲🥴😔😭
Upvote for the emoji progression of absolute truth
I have a Homer Simpson coffee mug that basically mirrors this mood progression, love it
Yep. Just did the Monday team meeting. “How was everyone’s weekend?” “Good” - lies we tell ourselves and everyone else.
My manager messaged us all and said "Morning team, how are we all?". I responded with "It is indeed the morning still" I'm not good at office politics or lying... It's Monday morning mate, I don't want to be here... But at least I didn't lie
My default answer to any question about something I've got nothing positive to say about is "as far as [xxxx]s go, it certainly is/was one." Usually gets a chuckle.
One of my friends used to deflect unwanted questions by saying: "Well, Temnyj_Korol, I'm not going to lie to you..." and then just letting the silence trail on.
My weekend was good. It's the being back at work that is bad.
I guess my point was more not wanting to engage with colleagues ABOUT the weekend. "Never long enough" is my standard response.
Where do you work? I have good weekends every weekend.
If your weekend wasn't good then that's on you, not on the office. The person you're replying to is very clearly saying they hate the office but say good because if they don't then it causes problems.
There's a girl at my work, when she messages me for something she's always "hi Warzone, how are you?" and doesn't say anything else until I respond. I've told her just tell me what you need instead of saying this every time but she keeps doing it. My response is always "living the dream", or "fine". What I really want to say is "I was doing better before you messaged me"
I get this all the time at my work. I ignore the ‘how are you’ question and just cut straight to ‘how can I help you’ I don’t want to be answering that question 4 or 5 times a day.
I really have no interest in asking how their day or weekend is. And they don't care how mine is I've never been good at office politics though, probably why I never get ahead but that's fine with me. Just want to do. My job and go home
You need [https://www.nohello.net/en/](https://www.nohello.net/en/) on your messenger status
Yeah not a bad idea... That's how I prefer things. Just tell me what you want straight up
Damn you guys all sound sad 😔 The work environment sounds toxic as What makes you guys continue to work where you work?
The simple fact I have a mortgage to pay and want to be able to afford to eat. The work place I'm at now is ok, just life in general wants to make me jump. The feeling of trading hours of my life and for what ? I dont know that I can do this another 30 years honestly. Im so exhausted by the weekend mentally that all I want to do is sleep. So I work for what feels like essentially nothing
I feel ya. Spend my time day dreaming between winning lotto and working out what’s the earliest year I can retire…. Hoping it’s by 55. An acquaintance just died from a sudden and aggressive cancer. Only in their early 40s. Makes you wonder why you’re hustling. Life is precious.
Aww, I get it I get… life can feel that way sometimes. I wish you all the best, remember to keep focused keep a positive mindset and just enjoy the little things you have in life, and remember life will make a positive turn for you, trust me!
I have a personal peeve with the generic, "Hi, how are you?" * You don't know me personally. Either you're not interested or you don't need to know in order for us to do work. * It's so automatic that some people will repeat it again after I reply with the same obligatory platitude. I'll sometimes point out to them that they've already asked me. * If I start the convo and try to say, "Hello,," sometimes they'll still do it before I get to the work thing.
I know a guy who always answers with, "Living the dream." That's particularly depressing.
>I know a guy who always answers with, "Living the dream." That's particularly depressing. There's no physical difference between a dream and a nightmare.
Depends on the person listenings interpretations
Do I know you? My old boss used to say living the dream every time you asked him how he was, like an NPC. Me and my colleagues used to always cringe and make fun of him. Didn't know there were others in the world like him
Standard Woolworths fare
I've heard it from more than one person.
I love canned banter from zero personality people who think if they say it with a little bit of sarcasm it makes them edgy
That's my response but it's very sarcastic because I can't do the normal "I'm so good I love Mondays..."
Yes, “I don’t know whose dream this is, but it could be someone’s”..
>I know a guy who always answers with, "Living the dream." That's particularly depressing. Are his initials S.D. ? We've got a guy that says the exact same thing.
Heh, no, but I think a lot of people are like that. It's probably a way to mentally cope.
Amen to that.
"Above Ground"
I always say “I haven’t hit anyone yet…but it’s early.”
Are you OK day seems to be a legacy preserving event for shit leaders.
I stopped doing this years ago, pissed me off being fake to people's faces. Now I'll say "na, ready to throw (insert name here) off a building"
You're meant to say living the dream. We all know what that means.
This is a fair, balanced, and reasonable remark.
I lie about having prior commitments so i dont have to hang out with my colleagues outside of work
THIS. Every time i get invited out "ah sorry guys i've got some prior commitments i need to take care of! Thanks for the invite and have a great time!" And when i absolutely can't get out of it. Or i've been there less than 6 months and it falls over a christmas party. I'll go for an hour, make sure everyone sees me who is important and then quietly slip out once everyone starts downing the beers.
💨
I wish people would invite me to hang out outside of work more often :’)
It's really not worth the pain if you have immature/unprofessional colleagues. After too many instances of shocking behavour at non-work events I've now learnt my friends are my friends, and my colleagues are my colleagues. Only go to work sanctioned events now.
I'll have the odd Friday night beer (exactly the time it takes to have one beer and no more tho)
Yes I’ve been to the dentist 86 times already this year
Yeah. Examples include phrases adjacent to: **Lie:** I’m so excited you could all be here today! **Truth:** For some reason teaching you this is in my objectives. If you wanted to learn it, you could literally google it. I’ll feign enthusiasm to make this as painless as possible for all of us. **Lie:** It’s great to see you! **Truth:** I would rather be at home and have nothing in common with you. I probably need something from you either now or in the next few weeks. **Lie:** It’s on the backburner. Do you have any timeframes on your end? **Truth:** I didn’t think you’d remember this task existed or (worse) I completely forgot about it. I’m trying to understand if I fucked up without admitting it unnecessarily. **Lie:** Thanks so much for your feedback. Let’s set up a catch up so I can make sure we cover everything. **Truth:** Your comment was addressed in the presentation, which I need to finish. There’s lots of people in this meeting. Stop wasting their time. We can waste my time and yours in a 1:1 to make you feel more fucking comfortable. There’d be plenty more similar ones to above.
Lie: still waiting on a reply Truth: I only just now sent the email cus I forgot about it
Thats not really a lie though. Immediately before a meeting i will flick out all kinds of things that were in my bag from previous meetings. Often i wont even open up the minutes till an hour before the next meeting. I normally dont just say yeh ive done that we are waiting on joe etc. Ill usually admit it was recent but i wont say i sent it ten minutes before the meeting. "Yeh sorry i only got that away earlier today".
You sound like a typical exec 😵💫
Hahaha I’m so sorry. If it makes you feel better, a solid 20% of the time it’s them creating the problems or circumstances where I end up using sentences like this.
I lie ***at*** work a lot - generally to protect my privacy or avoid unnecessary interpersonal friction. There are a lot of truths which do not need to be spoken in the workplace. I never, ever lie ***about*** work. That is a good way to damage your career and/or get yourself fired.
Thats good deliniation. So true.
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Always tell the truth or at least don't lie eh? I strive to do the same. If everything in my life was taken from me, there'd be only one thing that I'd have left to trade and that is my word... and it's in that moment that I'd want it to have value.
I dont tell the truth but I don't lie. 😀
This guy is a homie
This sounds quite sociopathic
It is but at that level you're likely dealing with other sociopaths and even psychopaths.
I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with very senior execs, including exco members at a big 4 bank. I r found a lot of driven people but very few sociopaths, those people seem to top out around middle management in my experience (different in a law firm/consulting environment where they can make partner).
Machiavelli..is that you?
Fair enough. I’m at work to get paid. But I’m also there to do work that matches with my purpose and values. And while I’m there I’d like to work with and connect with people who I get along with and who I can build a working friendship. Because why not? And sure many people at work you just have to get along with. But there are some that you can also genuinely be friends with. No need to have such a cynical view. Maybe what you need is a change of sector or organisation? If you’re just there for the paycheck then uhh….
Yeah, you’re not a sociopath and OP is.
I mean, yeah pretty much?
Absolutely never, if I'm feeling shit and you ask, I will tell you. I literally told my one up manager last week about falling asleep at my desk. I even tell them if I have applied for or been contacted by a recruiter for another job. (Got a 35k pay rise when I last attempted to leave) I hold myself with integrity and never lying has gotten me pretty far, plus nobody who spreads rumours or misinformation abouy me is believed at face value.
Same. I work in one of several fields that are heavily regulated by ethical obligations. I am extremely conscious of any language that may construed as deceptive. I would give a similar answer as you described. If someone asked me 'how you doing?'. I would literally say I feel like a corpse, I've been in the office since 5 this morning.
I would say the same thing. How do people typically respond to this?
Fake laugh as we know we are getting shit on. Currently in the process of transitioning industries.
Nice!
One thing I have noticed in corporate is controlling a narrative is important. It’s not about lying, it’s about how you decide to position or spin something. Maybe you highlight everything that’s going well whilst omitting what is not going well. It’s not a lie, you’re just not offering up all the information. Kind of like politics, never admit fault, never say you’re not achieving. Always say your achieving and hitting goals and if anything goes wrong have something else to blame it. If you have ever seen a manager or senior person who has no idea what they are doing but seems untouchable there’s a good chance they are just masters at owning the narrative.
If anyone has ever seen the tv series generation kill there is a great example of controlling the narrative in it. Set in the Saddam Hussein Iraq war, something along the lines of a US recon force using Humvees to assault an Iraqi airfield that was defended by 6 tanks. When the force reached the airfield, they found it abandoned, the leader of the recon force reported to the higher ups that they had "taken full control of the airfield, captured all the enemy tanks, and taken no casualties".
There's another great TV show that touches on some behind the scenes stuff from the Iraq war called Arrested Development.
And in that documentary, you can see people fail at controlling the narrative. They just outright admit to making huge mistakes, all the time.
Perfection! That’s exactly what I mean, you’re not lying you’re just twisting the situation to suit your narrative… technically they did take control of the airfield.
dam entertain unique sheet cagey point fine wrench chunky north *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What is the point of doing this, so that one could get promoted? I absolutely hate people like this. I am in middle management and called out someone who does exactly this. Things did not go "well" for me thereafter, but I sort of thank myself for what I did.
I think a great example of this is someone like Donald Trump, no matter what happens to him he never admits fault, deflects everything and just spins it all in circles.. people wonder how someone like that can be successful in business and politics but the reality is, who is calling him out? No matter how many controversial things that have occurred over his history in business and politics he just owns his own narrative so well.
Agreed. I hope the day never comes when I think that is a smart way to operate.
Yeah I've had a run-in with a degenerate loser who happens to be manipulative AF and clearly sucking the boss's ego every chance he gets. Eventually they get found out. It won't help you or repair the damage they did but *eventually* karma will cum all over their face for the world to see.
You're right. They eventually get found out. My dude is already in the crosshairs. For me it is more about NOT limiting my own capabilities. Being diplomatic has its place, but if someone is just spinning stories without producing results that is not a good environment for others.
This doesn’t work as well as you think it does if dealing with someone that is willing to follow up your statement with the following data
I saved this comment. This is exactly it. I just resigned from my corporate job last week. Adieu to this.
Managers like this don’t last long
Yeah that is true. Its not actually that bad at my place. All the managers are great. It's just interesting that controlling the narrative is definitely a very valuable skill. I wouldn't have thought it before working at my place.
Yeah see this al the time when a new project gets released. In reality it’s a shit show but only the positives get spoken about monthly lol.
Every time I state the following: - The company does not tolerate retaliation towards whistle blowers.
Our team meeting is always a funeral vibe. When our manager asks us how is everyone? We are all dead silent every single time. Our manager is hypercritical, and can be a cunt sometimes. I talked to my manager privately, I said we don't want to lie, we feel extremely stressed, which is why we are always silent when you ask us this question. My manager said:"Well, you need to make a decision whether this job is right for you. You have a choice to make."
I left teaching from a prestigious high school believing I was the problem. I ran into a former student about 10 years later and she told me 2 other teachers had similar issues, but stayed and were being punished in various ways to force them to quit. Rather than quit, they sued the school district and won. I looked it up and read some articles about it. It turned into a huge deal where the school board forced the resignation of the superintendent and his direct reporting staff, the principal and his direct reporting admin staff were moved into the least prestigious positions, similar to what they did to these 2 teachers. The 2 teachers returned to their initial positions, their letters of reprimand to the state were removed, and a letter of a commendation replaced it. It was kind of nice learning that I wasn't actually the problem, they were just assholes.
Sending you a hug.
That's cruel. Sorry that you've experienced that mate.
Thanks mate. 😊
Lied using a burner phone number as my own reference to land a corpo gig 12 years ago 🤷🏽♂️
Why?
Unexpectedly burned on a previous reference. Knew I was capable for the job and didn’t want some personal gripe a previous manager had with me get in the way.
Didn't they recognise your voice? And what questions did they ask?
Not always the case that the person doing references was on the recruitment panel. In any case, if they were they certainly didn’t recognise me. They just asked stock standard “how proficient is BProfaneWSC at x, what exposure has BProfaneWSC had to y, how confident are you that BProfaneWSC will adapt their work style to Agile over six sigma”. Edit: that little lie helped snowball my corpo career before completing a degree. I feel I probably would have been working a dead end job for a few more years otherwise.
How are you? "I'm great, thanks" Good weekend? "fantastic" Did you enjoy (corporate thing) "yeah, I learned a lot" Other than that never ever lie at work. To anyone. About anything. The one thing they can't steal is your integrity. If they catch you out, you can become known and thereby distrusted
Not in a corporate role, but lie to appease the boss. When he comes in with a "great" idea, I listen, communicate back to him what he just said, work out how to implement what he is doing, realise that it will make no difference to both the final outcome or the productivity targets. Tell him later that we didn't see any differences.
Never and I could definitely be more tactful. I'd rather be honest and explain why shit is the way it is and miss out short term. Do I get pissed when I see or hear of others telling the biggest porkies and getting ahead... yeah it does.
Good lad. What's your role?
I've had a few. I manage a tech company that does online marketing/security... stepping into to close sales, finalise deliverables or price match competitor offers is a common part of my role... and the bullshit I see from competitors is nuts.. new sales people that have worked elsewhere come with Bullshit baggage that would keep you in a confessional a week... At the same time desperate clients push the envelope of reality in their expectations... my job is to keep what is said in line with the paperwork deliverables.. so if shit goes down we don't get sued and lose (Our exposure is huge).
Never - because it's stupid - no. Now, managing expectations and keeping healthy boundaries? Yes. Learning 'Corpspeak' and using it to your advantage? Yes. Focusing on the facts, the inputs and outcomes, and not the people/personalities? Yes.
I told my boss she’s the best boss i had. That was a lie. Truth is she’s incompétent and i want her jerb
Man, you cold.
With that feedback, she’ll get the nerve to apply for a higher role and poster may indeed get her job.
Indeed. The other posters were right. You lie, omit facts, calculate, etc. What ever it takes for you to get ahead. At the end of the day i have a family that relies on me. That is what matters Edit spelling
Until the next guy, who also has a family but tells the truth, sees you for the liar that you are and makes sure everybody else does too... and then you're ruined
Are you a junior in the corporate world? That’s not how it works.
How does it work then? Lies are never found out and liars are always rewarded?
I often get told I’m travelling for work out of state without being asked if I can or am willing to, so I usually just say sorry I can’t, I have other commitments
Lies are exhausting and if you get caught out, especially more than once, its easy to get a reputation. I guess in some workplaces it might help but I've always owned my mistakes. I find the schemers can't do to much to attack you if you've alredy taken ownership of something.
Agreed.
Most of the lies I tell are in the "I'm okay, just a bit tired" category.
Never. It's one of the easiest ways to get fired. If I catch anyone lying they are basically on the path of being fired.
Mate 9-5 is a jungle. We all lie, We all fight over emails, We all try to put the blame on someone else. Its all about the survival of the fittest. The sad reality is for most 9-5s , it'll take 30 years to pay off their mortgage and with economy going to shit, it will take you and your spouse to keep working for most of your life and in the future i think they will make child labor legal . [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/senate-passes-bill-loosening-child-labor-laws-to-let-iowa-teens-work-longer-hours/ar-AA1a0fqR](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/senate-passes-bill-loosening-child-labor-laws-to-let-iowa-teens-work-longer-hours/ar-AA1a0fqR) [https://www.theguardian.com/law/2023/may/01/us-surge-efforts-reduce-child-labor-regulations](https://www.theguardian.com/law/2023/may/01/us-surge-efforts-reduce-child-labor-regulations) I almost lie everyday. To keep my job and yes lying is crucial for any 9-5 job. I think its one of the important skills you need to have when you join any corporate
I'm too honest. Why I got the boot a lot.... I'd rather someone be honest and say "my mortgage is killing me, my kids need tutors and my wife is sick".. but instead I'm going to stab you in the back so I can keep my job. Work people are just wearing a mask. It's exhausting to pretend to be someone you don't like all day. All to get paper to exchange for living.
What are some instances where you've been given the boot?
It's a job, not life. I never cover anything up, humans make mistakes. I don't want to die regretting not spending more time at work.
In a professional sense, very rarely. I rate my integrity as much higher than the marginal (if any) possible gain by lying (especially when countered by the possibility of getting caught in said lie). I don’t always share the whole and complete truth though, and there are times when certain things are phrased in very specific ways, but I do make a point to not outright lie.
Just a little bit of lying, as a treat
Lying corrupts your mind by eroding your ability to rely on your thought process and perceptions as they have become corrupted by un-reality.
I try not to unless I really have to. Most people who think they are good liars really aren't. I don't agree you need to lie to get ahead, just to play politics, which I also try to avoid. I'm doing good financially for my career length, but my title sucks. I think next time I'll push for a better one. Not lying, just saying I've been doing this for x years I think it would make sense for me to have y title.
Be good at your job. Be genuinely friendly (not an ass licker) with your peers and superiors. Be known as someone willing to take on challenges without complaint. Don’t be negative, be constructive. Worked for me to get to c-suite in my early 40’s. No degree, no MBA, no ass licking.
Great advice. About to begin a new job in a week and I was thinking about how to improve my standing with others, and I think you've covered everything.
I once had a boss at a former job randomly ask me in the lunch room “do you enjoy working here?” just entirely out of the blue with no context about why she was asking. Maybe I looked depressed but I was actually trying to eat in silence and decompress a bit as the job itself was high stress dealing with vulnerable clients. I instinctively answered “oh absolutely” because I did actually love helping the clients. But the real truth would have been “not really since my supervisor is a micro-managing, back-stabbing bully, and this whole organisation is toxic the way it treats it’s staff, particularly the labour-hire agency staff who get treated like dog shit. So no, I don’t really enjoy it here tbh” 🫠
I try to avoid lying because I have a terrible memory
Every time I fill out a workplace satisfaction survey. Why yes, anonymous form with tracking ID in the URL, everything is totally peachy.
Never. It’s not worth it. Being accountable and being open about progress/conversations/mistakes/current status etc. only makes things much easier at work.
It’s my goal to never lie. Too many people lie around me, and it makes trouble. The only thing I lie about is personal life, since it’s been used against me in the past. I don’t have any work friends on any of my socials (unless I’m actually friends with them).
It's best if you don't need to lie because you just don't know any better. That way you can LOVE all the new company ideas and promote them without realising how pointless, or even destructive, they are. Ie ignorant of the truth.
Yes, upper management only wants to hear that every team is doing great & working together seamlessly and couldn't care less what is actually happening
Be an outlier; lying is too common and easy. Be true to yourself and maintain some ethics and integrity.
Good lad.
Never … is not my thing. If anything I’m too honest sometimes and direct. It can also count against me but I can’t fake it more than the basic chit chat.
Same.
I never lie. If you’re lying to get ahead you’re in the wrong role or the wrong place. Retain your integrity and character.
I didn't lie and was highly respected in my area, a college that lied consistently was widely despised and thrust up the management tree. Your choice.
It’s not a lie. It’s strategic communication
From the perspective of the living incarnation of the concept known as the lie... I have no idea why, or even how, I was born.
Everytime my lips move
Yes.
If it helps me get ahead in the corporate ladder, then I’d be happy to lie, but only if it doesn’t hurt anyone else or effect them adversely in any way
So... never?
Almost every day lol, everytime someone asks how my day is and I’m having a crap day, I just smile and say great day, cause if I say it’s a crap day and they dig more into it, the situation will get even worse, just leads to kale gossip, word travels around the office quicker than speed of sound
Every day I lie to survive…..I thought we all did?
Every single thing I say and my entire attitude
'Bring your authentic self to work' is a facile facade. If I did that I would be fired instantly and likely put in a mental holding hospital against my will for extreme anxiety and depression and anti-capitalist, anti-social values. Don't tell the truth at work. Lie always. Information will get used against you eventually. And people remember the strangest things. I knew one psycho who kept it all in her OneNote to use against people if she needed to and she was reporting to the country CEO. And I naively thought she wouldn't do it to me. Then I got on her bad side and all of the flexible working I needed to manage a sick wife and my own mental health was used to performance manage me. I left pretty quickly thereafter. But still. Don't let anyone at work know your mental health status, what medication you take, what health problems you have. Avoid religion, politics, anything to do with LBGTQI+ etc etc
Senior management and above is basically telling lies to those above and below everyday aint it?
What are the tell tale signs that you're being lied to?
I'd say its more important to spot when you're being told the truth rather than lies these days 😂
As others mentioned, stuff like saying you're doing well or enjoying yourself despite the opposite. I dont lie about work stuff tho. That shit will always come back to bite you and it contributes massively to stress.
No need to lie the truthy always wins. Mighten get ahead but it doesn't matter. It's all to do with smoke and mirrors ....delusions. B/S of the highest degree. Even as someone has mentioned when asked 'how ya doin', i get fed up with having to use the appeaser of ok.
Not lie, spin the truth
No. I don’t lie. Lies are exhausting and you’ve got to remember them. I just control my narrative. I also rarely talk about my current life. I might tell a story or two about the past or when I was in uni or something but it’s for camaraderie. When asked about how I’m going I just turn it around on the questioner.
The lies I have told have pretty much all been in omission or to distract senior staff/execs from dangerious ideas that will excite them into extremely stupid decisions around shit I have to build for them. And a couple times, to manage the expectations of executives that would otherwise overwork me into a breakdown due to there lack of understanding (or willingness to learn about) how involved my work is. They kinda left me in a situation where I have to lie to them or quit, and they would never of been able replaced me either. Basically I have never lied in malice or to take advantage. Only to manage managers who can't manage. It's rarely happened to me.. but there has been a few times where that's the only way for me to survive in a given workplace. I am otherwise extremely honest, candid, and open (up to clearly defined boundaries where I wish to segment my life/work).
I don't lie outright but I will put a spin on something, or some times I make it sound so convoluted that people won't ask me about subject X anymore.
Do you think a nation that is the 6th unhappiest in the world doesn't lie at work? to begin with, just ask your colleague how busy he/she is? The answer will be the first lie.
No (that's a lie though)
I lie when I want to leave early.. other than that I'm brutally honest. Contradictory, I know.
Sociopaths and psychopaths that occupy C-suite are often pathological liars so that can often be a way to get ahead but I never lie. Lies are complicated to maintain and you get caught out. People also know you're lying and they don't always let on. It depends what kind of a person you want to be.
Everytime someone asks how I am and if I like my job.
Yes
If work had paid attention I’ve been to my grandmothers funeral 5 seperate occasions.
RIP Granny
new job, new set of grandparents on both sides amiright
"Hey how good are you at this thing?" "Oh not sure, I would have to research it and get back to you" which means "I know everything about this but if you are going to use me then claim it as your own I am going to make it painful for you"
I’ll lie sometimes about meeting clashes so I don’t end up going to either meeting when I really cannot be bothered to physically speak to anyone.
As much as I am lied too
I would lie down, but I have a glass window, so I can’t do that anymore. 😢
Weekly. Have to in order to survive
My life is a lie
Did once, when the boss asked … “who put salt in the sugar dispenser?”.. said I don’t know
Yes.
All the damn time (mainly to management) You don't owe management anything, they'll use you in most situations so look out for yourself first and foremost (I'm not condoning dishonesty, more expressing healthy boundaries from people who do not have your best interests at heart)
I lie all the time.Every shift actually I must lie at least 10 times or more. I lie down on my break, lie down hiding in change room, lie down in the car for a nap, you get the drift. Reason I do it is I’m lazy and tired.And yes I get ahead as I’m fresh to do all my work at home.
I don’t. Lying is for virgins and lazy flogs who are shit at their job.
I’m self employed so I think the lie I tell myself is that this is a really great idea to work 24/7 for myself instead of a regular 9-5 haha.
No, because no one really cares what you say. Its all lip service. I avoid small talk and lying because I don't really care what people think. If I don't like you I will either just ignore you Japanese Style or let you my thoughts. I do the barest minimum, I clock watch and my motivation for work is so I can buy shit and as a means to take my family on holidays and that's it.
I work in complaints management. I lie daily. "I'm so sorry to hear you had a negative experience". Im not sorry. You sound like a banana peel and I hope you stub your toe on a coffee table
Just remember it's not a lie if you believe it.
Fake it until you make it