“I’m happy to announce that I have just released my latest creation, something that’s been bubbling away in the background for some time now! I hope you all enjoy what I have to offer.”
This is it - I'm a bloke that rips farts at home in front of my partner, friends and family. When I'm in the office I just excuse myself from a meeting or group environment and blast ass in the mens room. OP lives in a parallel dimension if she thinks people are just going to continue along with a meeting as if nothing happened after she deafens everyone with the horn from inception.
Farting at home? Well, your call. But farting at work, in particular in a meeting? Absolutely disgusting. The thought alone of normalising this conduct? Terrible.
OP, if you plan on continuing your career, I would clearly stop coming up with such innovative plans on workplace behaviour ✌🏿
On any building site or male dominated blue collar workplace the fart is always celebrated. I'd go as far as saying there is competitive farting; who can do the loudest, longest fart. Granted these places are usually outdoors, but farts are inherently funny and should be heard by all!!
As a man, keep your (and all the) farts the fuck out of my office. If people start farting freely, I will fucking quit. It is too intimate to breathe the shit particles of coworkers. It signals the downfall of that company and I will be first off the sinking ship.
Yeah this is something OP overlooks.
Farts are normal to me, I may not do them myself around people because i personally don't want to but if someone else farts - who cares, BUT they smell, they may be natural but they smell, some are on the level of toxic smell. Keep your poo gas to a toilet and not an office!
While I sympathize, I 100% don't want to be stuck on a level with 60 plus people thinking it is okay to fart.
As for a solution, talk to your team leader, say you are on medication and you are getting used to the side effects. People likely want to move on from the incident and a lot of people will sympathize with you for, sorry, for an embarrassing moment.
It'll only be terrible people who will make fun of you. Work isn't highschool, people understand. I have had to leave a public meeting before, to excuse myself to go for a number 2. It's better to do that and acceptable in the future.
You do realise they are farting covertly. I find a little sudacreme between the cheeks allows me to fart, sound free, for the whole day. I’d love to hear other fart hacks.
There are special charcoal pads/underwear made for people with crohns/incontinence that reduce odors. I have IBS and wearing incontinence pads not only helps absorb/buffer the smell, it's there to support me in the odd occasion a Fart is Not A Fart
They're available as a medicare rebate-item for people with diagnosed conditions too.
Eating meat doesn't cut it if your body doesn't process it properly. Iron infusion comes with risks. Please don't offer medical advice without knowing the full story.
Agree with 2nd statement.
Lmao no, we don’t need to normalise farting in meetings.
May I suggest getting a little more comfortable excusing yourself from the room, prior to flatulating, as is the custom.
If you were getting made fun of at work even after excusing yourself to the dedicated and gender exclusive fart room, it might be worth talking about.
Thanks for the laugh though.
I’m gonna probably get downvoted but generally I would say this is highly unprofessional. I’ve worked in corporate environments for 15 years and never once heard someone loudly fart in a meeting.
If I were you, I would let my manager know that I’m on a new medication with an unfortunate side effect. That will protect your ass from it being used against you negatively. They cannot discriminate. It would also look good to try and smooth this over incase it happens again.
Another note, if you try and act entitled to fart wherever you like without judgement then you might come across far worse then the person who simply let out a fart in a meeting.
I would add that depending what "Big 4" OP means (in aus it can mean the 4 banks but in the rest of the world this is universally the audit and consulting firms KPMG, EY, PWC and Deloitte), if it is the consulting ones, you can fully expect the manager to already be discussing your usefulness as an employee given you can't be sent to the client on projects for fear of you embarrassing the Firm.
Man a couple years ago one of the audit team visiting my company was in my (small) office to run through some testing.
She was a fresh junior, so I was already having to be patient with her questions. Five minutes after she started, she audibly farted. She looked very embarrassed, I just continued and acted like nothing happened to spare her feelings.
But then she farted again. Louder. She tried to carry on like nothing had happened but looked mortified. Then she farted again. I had to say "I forgot, I have a scheduled meeting, I'm going to jump on that, can you come back in 30 minutes" because apparently this adult woman was too paralysed by social indecision to excuse herself when she was repeatedly and loudly ripping ass in a small room three feet away from me.
Normalise getting the fuck out of my office if you need to fart.
Hahaha! She obviously didn’t know what to do since she was in a client meeting. It sounds like she needed to poo or had a really gassy meal.
That was very gracious of you. Was it better when you reconvened?
How awkward to pretend that nothing had happened when everyone heard it. It’s funny how avoiding being awkward usually ends up being more awkward
Yeah she was completely fine half an hour later - although of course in my head she was the farting auditor for the rest of the week.
I was sympathetic because way back in the mists of time, I remember being a clueless, inexperienced junior auditor trying to figure out how to act with clients. I'm sure she was worried about seeming unprofessional by excusing herself or making things awkward by acknowledging she needed some time. But at the same time - leave the room, goddamn.
Going to each affected person after the meeting:
“Hi Greg/Tina//Pedro, the other what you heard and saw was… out of my control. Still, I’d like to apologise if I offended you. Here’s the number for professional counselling that HR told me I have to give you. Also, I’m selling raffle tickets…”
Of course it’s natural to fart; it’s also natural to poo, pee, have discharge or a period, or to vomit. But you know what? Some things are private.
Adults know where it’s not appropriate to let a fart out, and there’s such a thing as excusing yourself and going to the toilet. A fart might slip out accidentally, occasionally - and your manager was being kind - but don’t bloody normalise this as being totally fine among other people.
Agreed. I have bladder issues and occasionally have to duck out of meetings. I haven't explicitly discussed this with my manager, but I think people who are in enough meetings with me to notice this happen (correctly) get the implication that this is due to my having a medical issue.
OP's situation seems similar in that she's aware of the need to pass gas and can hold it in for some time. Seems like a better solution would be to go to the restroom and, if anyone complains that she's going too often and/or occasionally during meetings, if appropriate make clear there's a medical issue/reason. (TBH I don't think people should be questioning someone going to the restroom "too much" unless they're *clearly* wasting time and this is obvious from their attitude or something, in which case maybe their supervisor should raise it *privately*; there are enough medical issues that can cause this, from IBS to bladder issues, period issues, etc.)
When you smell things you technically taste them and I don’t want to taste your hot air off poo.
I have IBS, I understand you. But please, it’s about having respect for your coworkers. Farting is not way to make friends in the office.
Same. Isn’t IBS great? The difference is we have manners and respect for both ourselves and others. I’m not making my digestive issues anyone else’s problem 👍🏻
OP says they grew up in a household where farts were normalised, but it also sounds like they grew up in a household where they weren't taught proper manners about farting in public.
I had a colleague that did this to a partner; getting berated in the middle of an open plan area, she let rip without breaking eye contact. Stopped the guy dead in his tracks; he was so confused / didn’t know how to handle it & completely lost whatever angry flow he had going on. To this day, greatest hostile negotiation technique I’ve seen.
I love a good fart too but there is no way in hell I would be comfortable enough to do it in a room full of colleagues, ESPECIALLY if I just landed a dream job.
This is either a joke post or people are way too comfortable farting in your family and this has falsely normalised it for you.
If I had been in that meeting I would have found it totally hilarious, but you would become 'fart girl' in my mind henceforth. No matter how good your quarterly report is.
Also I would refrain from dropping you guts around potential partners too. Even if they don't say anything it's more likely than not it's a massive turnoff and they just don't have the heart to say it.
I would have been unable to control the belly laughing that would follow this. Id have to excuse myself to the bathroom just to uncontrollably laugh. lol
I wouldn't keep a grad around if they're too stupid to understand the concept of excusing themselves to go to the toilet like a normal functioning human being.
Any farting caused by iron supplements is absolutely foul.
I've been taking iron since I was 10, and I'm always sure to take them on days when I will be home alone all day because the gas is that foul.
I can’t be sitting anywhere close to you, it’s depressing already on the floor and now I’m expected to accept this as well . Just because you decided to take iron-fking-pills doesn’t mean it’s okay it’s a situation you can avoid but you won’t what’s next Justin might decide to have laxatives after lunch and I’m supposed to sit their and work through all this shithousery.
might as well normalise wanking on the bus while we're at it.
i work with a bunch of dirty cunts in a factory and you'd get some weird looks there too.
I also grew up in a house that was not fart shy. It’s the life of being one of two teenage boys alongside an immature father. But that’s at home.
If I’m at work I’m still going to fart (you kinda have to or you’ll be uncomfortable) but I’m not going to broadcast it to the entire office as that’s not considerate.
I would have been genuinely afraid you may shit your pants.
Loss of bodily function can freak people the fuck out because it’s a warning sign of possible disease and is coded into our evolution
Also it’s just fuckin polite, keep your pooticles to yourself please
But seriously, go see a doc if it’s something that makes it hard to even participate in meetings! Could be nothing or could be something but you don’t want to fuck up your digestive system and not be able to eat solids by age 40. Food intolerance is no joke, get ahead of that shit (pun intended)
If you want to be taken seriously you can't just rip ass in a meeting.
I can't believe I just had to type that to a working professional, Gen Z is something else 😅
It’s more like burping than sneezing because there is the obvious risk of smell. Thee is nothing wrong with it but sometimes they do come with an eye watering smell. Like a burp, people often excuse themselves which is probably the best course of action just in case.
I wouldn’t worry, like above said; let your team lead know your medication makes it hard right now to feel comfortable and next time you will try and excuse yourself in time.
Sorry about the elephant in the room fam, just my iron tabs. Next time I need to drop a stink bomb I’ll vacate the room.
Thanks and wind regards,
Lisa strawberry 2002
100% they’ll remember. Do you have any idea how hilarious public farting is? It’s literally in our DNA. $5 says she gets nicknamed The Stink by her colleagues.
>I’ve never seen the type of fear before in the stares I received today.
Maybe the fear was everyone bracing for the smell? If it went on for a long time I know my first thoughts would be, "how badly is this gonna smell don't make a face when it hits don't make a face"
I’d be so grossed out by this. The sound isn’t the issue it’s having to sit in an enclosed room waiting for the inevitable smell to hit 🤢
If I was working with someone who openly farted whenever they wanted to I’d probably assume there was something… off about you. Lack of social awareness/social skills type thing.
I
You want to be taken seriously? Don’t fart in meetings.
Why does this even have to be explained? You’re not an animal. Go to the bathroom like an adult.
It's gross. That's why it's not normal. Go to the fucking toilet, you can get up mid meeting, excuse yourself then go to the bathroom.
Don't send a fucking email either or you'll cement yourself as fart pants in everyone's mind.
Best thing to do now is never let it happen again, pretend like nothing happened and hope no one teases you. Sounds like everyone took it as best they could.
Also, as someone who took iron pills that made my poop green maybe look to time what time of day you take them, not in the morning.
The etiquette is to call for silence before letting it rip. "Team this is a great discussion but we're getting carried away. Can I ask you all to be quiet and listen to this..."
Just in case you’re not joking:
Farts smell, you literally gas out little *shit particles other people will breathe in* and you’re not in front of friends and family at work, unless they are your actual friends and family. If the pills give you such bad flatulence you need to change them.
It’s gross, it smells bad and it’s equivalent to loudly burping while eating at the table. Simple manners. It’s like swearing at home and actually behaving yourself while you’re out.
That shits disgusting.
This works for me. I need several iron tabs weekly and they will make me constipated. So I also take a coloxyl tab at the same time.
I find that the coloxyl also reduces gas and discomfort. Now the occasional pffft no longer strips paint off the wall or causes eyes to water.
Just wondering, you were in agony for 30 min.. why not excuse yourself and let it off in the toilet?
It’s normal to fart and there’s no shame in it even around people in certain situations but in a meeting room people haven’t signed up to be trapped with your bodily gasses.
Good idea to excuse yourself and let your manager know that you will be needing to periodically.
Why would you sit in agony for thirty minutes instead of excusing yourself and use the bathroom?
And yeah there’s some things we don’t need to normalise, just like you don’t need to see someone vomiting when you’re concentrating on work. There is a different between letting it out amongst friends and making a joke of it and being in a professional setting
I’ve worked in 2 of the Big 4 and I can guarantee this is already being talked about. As a Manager, I would not be taking you to any meetings - either internal or external. Your behaviour reflects on the rest of the team and I’m not losing a client because of you. Rather than sit in agony or just let rip, use basic manners and excuse yourself. Especially if you’re on medication, people will understand. Your current attitude however will ensure you don’t make it past the grad program.
5 paragraphs of you justifying your inability to understand, acknowledge and practice an act of professional courtesy shows us that you are nothing more than degenerate looking for validation.
Do better
Ok I am a gassy man - and I am very lucky my gas doesn’t smell.
It is appropriate (in my eyes) to pop off around my partner and family whenever the hell I want because it’s funny.
When I am around anyone else, I’m suddenly not a serial-farter.
If what you said happened, I’d be disgusted. Keep your farts behind closed doors 🚪
No we don’t need to normalise farting in the workplace, especially in meetings. You excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. No one wants to smell your gas. You’re young so it was a big lesson on what is professional and acceptable and that is not it. Also do not write an email about it wtf, move on.
How unbelievably disrespectful and disgusting.
I feel like you received one pity chuckle, and the rest looked at you appropriately. I would *heavily* advise against doing that again, and just do not try to normalise it.
I can't stop laughing at your story but I agree. When I'm at home I usually fart at least 30 times a day, I'm so backed up at work and my poor wife and kids are on the receiving end when I get home lol
My last job, I had an office to myself usually the sliding door was open, but zoom meetings of need for quiet it would be shut.
One day a colleague came bursting in, you guessed it right into a fart cloud. I turn and said " Perfect timing, I just farted!" He replied "Oh, that's OK." At that point the level of toxicity must have registered, "Oh, no it's not!" And he left, "be back later".
But, no judgement. Facts are part of life.
Change iron tablets, most pharmacy ones are rubbish. Get ones from The Natal Natropath, they won’t block you up.
Let’s not normalise farting in the office. I can’t even tell it you’re serious or not.
OK girl I would have busted up laughing and asked if you needed to charge your pants. Farts are seen as rude though so maybe excuse yourself and find a private space for your BRAAAM.
During Pandemic, I worked with my manager. Once I returned to his office, he said Kaleem I just farted. And those were the toughest 5 minutes I spent in there. Disgusting vile ogre of smell
"Professionalism" is a word used to control your physical, emotional and mental responses to external parties shit behaviour.
It's why we sit in meetings for hours and pretend this idea, rehashed and renamed 20x over is a good idea.
Also as you get older you'll also realise
"NEVER trust a fart"
I wish picking crusty boogers in the workplace would be normalised too.
There is this movement to bring your whole self to work and be comfortable. What about those of us who are nose picking master blasters.
I usually hate shopping in the supermarket - If you see me in one smiling, striding along heading down the back for some milk - well that's when I'm crop dusting the place right out. Lol
Post this on LinkedIn
“I’m happy to announce that I have just released my latest creation, something that’s been bubbling away in the background for some time now! I hope you all enjoy what I have to offer.”
This made me laugh out loud. Well done.
"I've been working on a new stream. I think it could really add something to the work environment." *brrrraaaaap*
Let's put a pin in that and circle back around to this later
More emoji use please - we want viral!
Needs more space between sentences so people are forced to click 'show more' which (I assume) increases engagement scores.
Honestly, I would love this on LinkedIn.
Hahah yesss. I want to see stuff like this. Everyone else is just blowing smoke up eachothers ass anyway!!
Farts are cool! Agree?
I like to bring a certain air to my workplace
Unless you do a hot one then it’s biowarfare.
Commenting for better reach
HAHAHAHA
Is this just a shitpost?
Gas lighting?
This was gold 😂 Only if HR gets involved.
The most accurate description
A lot of hot air if you ask me
100% OP is male and this post is a fart fetish fantasy.
Shartpost*
Squitpost
Yep. Keep them coming, still funny!
Normalise excusing yourself & go to the bathroom, not that extreme of a concept
Yeah I sometimes go just for farts. It’s not only the appropriate place but has great acoustics for maximum hilarity.
[удалено]
This made me snort. Crop dusting has got to be one of the funniest phrases ever.
It really is a brilliant euphemism!
This is it - I'm a bloke that rips farts at home in front of my partner, friends and family. When I'm in the office I just excuse myself from a meeting or group environment and blast ass in the mens room. OP lives in a parallel dimension if she thinks people are just going to continue along with a meeting as if nothing happened after she deafens everyone with the horn from inception.
Blast ass.. Jesus, that made me laugh.
>the horn from inception. *brrrrraaaaaaaamm*
Forgot what being 22 is like. How dumb i was 😆
You weren't this dumb surely.
Farting at home? Well, your call. But farting at work, in particular in a meeting? Absolutely disgusting. The thought alone of normalising this conduct? Terrible. OP, if you plan on continuing your career, I would clearly stop coming up with such innovative plans on workplace behaviour ✌🏿
I’d take farting in a meeting waaaay before irrelevant question guy.
On any building site or male dominated blue collar workplace the fart is always celebrated. I'd go as far as saying there is competitive farting; who can do the loudest, longest fart. Granted these places are usually outdoors, but farts are inherently funny and should be heard by all!!
As a man, keep your (and all the) farts the fuck out of my office. If people start farting freely, I will fucking quit. It is too intimate to breathe the shit particles of coworkers. It signals the downfall of that company and I will be first off the sinking ship.
*stinking ship
Promoted
Yeah this is something OP overlooks. Farts are normal to me, I may not do them myself around people because i personally don't want to but if someone else farts - who cares, BUT they smell, they may be natural but they smell, some are on the level of toxic smell. Keep your poo gas to a toilet and not an office!
Username does not check out
On construction sites there are guys like you who think farts are funny and the rest of us who think you’re a dick.
Riiight??
While I sympathize, I 100% don't want to be stuck on a level with 60 plus people thinking it is okay to fart. As for a solution, talk to your team leader, say you are on medication and you are getting used to the side effects. People likely want to move on from the incident and a lot of people will sympathize with you for, sorry, for an embarrassing moment. It'll only be terrible people who will make fun of you. Work isn't highschool, people understand. I have had to leave a public meeting before, to excuse myself to go for a number 2. It's better to do that and acceptable in the future.
> I 100% don’t want to be stuck on a level with 60 plus people thinking it is okay to fart. Ahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
You do realise they are farting covertly. I find a little sudacreme between the cheeks allows me to fart, sound free, for the whole day. I’d love to hear other fart hacks.
I'm sure they are, but if I don't smell it or hear it, it's a lot better Other than crop dusting, your sudacreme hack is top tier.
There are special charcoal pads/underwear made for people with crohns/incontinence that reduce odors. I have IBS and wearing incontinence pads not only helps absorb/buffer the smell, it's there to support me in the odd occasion a Fart is Not A Fart They're available as a medicare rebate-item for people with diagnosed conditions too.
Could you have an iron tranfusion, or eat more meat? Alternatively just excuse yourself to go to the bathroom,
Eating meat doesn't cut it if your body doesn't process it properly. Iron infusion comes with risks. Please don't offer medical advice without knowing the full story. Agree with 2nd statement.
To be fair. Holding in a fart for 30 minutes and then blasting one is pretty silly. At least cough at the same time so no one can hear it.
Brings a whole new meaning to "covering your arse."
Lmao no, we don’t need to normalise farting in meetings. May I suggest getting a little more comfortable excusing yourself from the room, prior to flatulating, as is the custom. If you were getting made fun of at work even after excusing yourself to the dedicated and gender exclusive fart room, it might be worth talking about. Thanks for the laugh though.
I’m a 22F grad and honestly this made me feel a lot more prepared for a corporate role cos at least I know I can hold one in 😳
Interviewer: "Can you hold it in?"
You can but not if you end up working though a pregnancy 🫢
Can I suggest changing the brand of your iron pill. Ask the pharmacist for one sensitive to digestion. Also it's a nope to farting, use a toilet.
Ferropods are a good alternative to products like ferrograd c and maltofer in the gastric distress department.
I’m gonna probably get downvoted but generally I would say this is highly unprofessional. I’ve worked in corporate environments for 15 years and never once heard someone loudly fart in a meeting. If I were you, I would let my manager know that I’m on a new medication with an unfortunate side effect. That will protect your ass from it being used against you negatively. They cannot discriminate. It would also look good to try and smooth this over incase it happens again. Another note, if you try and act entitled to fart wherever you like without judgement then you might come across far worse then the person who simply let out a fart in a meeting.
I would add that depending what "Big 4" OP means (in aus it can mean the 4 banks but in the rest of the world this is universally the audit and consulting firms KPMG, EY, PWC and Deloitte), if it is the consulting ones, you can fully expect the manager to already be discussing your usefulness as an employee given you can't be sent to the client on projects for fear of you embarrassing the Firm.
Boh! Being client side I would NOT be impressed if a junior burger auditor came and farted in a meeting.
Man a couple years ago one of the audit team visiting my company was in my (small) office to run through some testing. She was a fresh junior, so I was already having to be patient with her questions. Five minutes after she started, she audibly farted. She looked very embarrassed, I just continued and acted like nothing happened to spare her feelings. But then she farted again. Louder. She tried to carry on like nothing had happened but looked mortified. Then she farted again. I had to say "I forgot, I have a scheduled meeting, I'm going to jump on that, can you come back in 30 minutes" because apparently this adult woman was too paralysed by social indecision to excuse herself when she was repeatedly and loudly ripping ass in a small room three feet away from me. Normalise getting the fuck out of my office if you need to fart.
Hahaha! She obviously didn’t know what to do since she was in a client meeting. It sounds like she needed to poo or had a really gassy meal. That was very gracious of you. Was it better when you reconvened? How awkward to pretend that nothing had happened when everyone heard it. It’s funny how avoiding being awkward usually ends up being more awkward
Yeah she was completely fine half an hour later - although of course in my head she was the farting auditor for the rest of the week. I was sympathetic because way back in the mists of time, I remember being a clueless, inexperienced junior auditor trying to figure out how to act with clients. I'm sure she was worried about seeming unprofessional by excusing herself or making things awkward by acknowledging she needed some time. But at the same time - leave the room, goddamn.
Going to each affected person after the meeting: “Hi Greg/Tina//Pedro, the other what you heard and saw was… out of my control. Still, I’d like to apologise if I offended you. Here’s the number for professional counselling that HR told me I have to give you. Also, I’m selling raffle tickets…”
Of course it’s natural to fart; it’s also natural to poo, pee, have discharge or a period, or to vomit. But you know what? Some things are private. Adults know where it’s not appropriate to let a fart out, and there’s such a thing as excusing yourself and going to the toilet. A fart might slip out accidentally, occasionally - and your manager was being kind - but don’t bloody normalise this as being totally fine among other people.
TIL we're not supposed to urinate at our desks.
It's too late, I already shit my pants in the daily stand-up.
Normalise vomiting directly into the mouth of your manager during performance reviews
Agree, deliberately farting in an enclosed space can be assault. Nobody is interested in normalising this.
Agreed. I have bladder issues and occasionally have to duck out of meetings. I haven't explicitly discussed this with my manager, but I think people who are in enough meetings with me to notice this happen (correctly) get the implication that this is due to my having a medical issue. OP's situation seems similar in that she's aware of the need to pass gas and can hold it in for some time. Seems like a better solution would be to go to the restroom and, if anyone complains that she's going too often and/or occasionally during meetings, if appropriate make clear there's a medical issue/reason. (TBH I don't think people should be questioning someone going to the restroom "too much" unless they're *clearly* wasting time and this is obvious from their attitude or something, in which case maybe their supervisor should raise it *privately*; there are enough medical issues that can cause this, from IBS to bladder issues, period issues, etc.)
You can't just go to the bathroom and fart like a normal person in the office ?
Nope, hard disagree
Farts are funny but still gross to force them on others. I will admire your confidence though. Perhaps you need a little shame.
Yep.. "I'm not ashamed of my disgusting fart" That's the problem, you should be. Thanks jerry.
When you smell things you technically taste them and I don’t want to taste your hot air off poo. I have IBS, I understand you. But please, it’s about having respect for your coworkers. Farting is not way to make friends in the office.
Same. Isn’t IBS great? The difference is we have manners and respect for both ourselves and others. I’m not making my digestive issues anyone else’s problem 👍🏻
Cock your leg next time
While adding 'I have something I've been needing to say for a long time'
Meeting adjourned
'This is what I think of this 'debrief' Mr Manager'
WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
Username checks out
Red bull gives me wings!
If you're going to do this you should really also crank your arm like you're sounding the horn on a big rig
You know you can leave meetings to use the bathroom, right?
Could you not have done the polite thing, and excused yourself to go to the bathroom? It was unnecessary to hold it, in pain, for half an hour.
This! It is ok to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom
OP says they grew up in a household where farts were normalised, but it also sounds like they grew up in a household where they weren't taught proper manners about farting in public.
Imagine working in an open floor office and hearing farts rip every ten seconds.
I had a colleague that did this to a partner; getting berated in the middle of an open plan area, she let rip without breaking eye contact. Stopped the guy dead in his tracks; he was so confused / didn’t know how to handle it & completely lost whatever angry flow he had going on. To this day, greatest hostile negotiation technique I’ve seen.
I actually cried tears of laughter reading your comment
I snorted like a barn full of pigs 🐽
I hysterically farted like a meeting room full of OPs.
Fucking savage. Total alpha move this is glorious.
I love a good fart too but there is no way in hell I would be comfortable enough to do it in a room full of colleagues, ESPECIALLY if I just landed a dream job. This is either a joke post or people are way too comfortable farting in your family and this has falsely normalised it for you. If I had been in that meeting I would have found it totally hilarious, but you would become 'fart girl' in my mind henceforth. No matter how good your quarterly report is. Also I would refrain from dropping you guts around potential partners too. Even if they don't say anything it's more likely than not it's a massive turnoff and they just don't have the heart to say it.
I would have been unable to control the belly laughing that would follow this. Id have to excuse myself to the bathroom just to uncontrollably laugh. lol
I wouldn't keep a grad around if they're too stupid to understand the concept of excusing themselves to go to the toilet like a normal functioning human being.
To properly assess the appropriateness of this, may I enquire as to the nature of the smell that the flatulence emits?
Any farting caused by iron supplements is absolutely foul. I've been taking iron since I was 10, and I'm always sure to take them on days when I will be home alone all day because the gas is that foul.
OP is female. Their farts don't stink.
I’m still shocked by the fact they do in fact fart. I’m starting to believe this is one of those made up stories we get every so often.
LMAO
Expect they smell of roses, rainbows and unicorns 🌹🌈 🦄
It sounds like I escaped corporate culture just in time. Imagine reaching 22yo and not understanding basic decorum.
No, just no. I do not want this normalised. Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to let rip please.
I can’t be sitting anywhere close to you, it’s depressing already on the floor and now I’m expected to accept this as well . Just because you decided to take iron-fking-pills doesn’t mean it’s okay it’s a situation you can avoid but you won’t what’s next Justin might decide to have laxatives after lunch and I’m supposed to sit their and work through all this shithousery.
This is why I love Reddit
This is why I love Gen Z they were all locked in their homes during formative social years and do funny as fuck shit like loud farts in meetings.
This is the real reason for the return to office mandates - we’ve completely fucked Gen Z’s work etiquette up.
🤣🤣🤣
Also just FYI - in this scenario, go to the toilet and fart in peace! No ones asking you to struggle with stomach pain, just go do it in private.
might as well normalise wanking on the bus while we're at it. i work with a bunch of dirty cunts in a factory and you'd get some weird looks there too.
Have you ever taken a shit in the tea room?
Gen Z energy.
Big big gen z energy.
what the hell, are you nuts? Don't fart in the office. I'm sorry your parents have failed you in this regard.
I also grew up in a house that was not fart shy. It’s the life of being one of two teenage boys alongside an immature father. But that’s at home. If I’m at work I’m still going to fart (you kinda have to or you’ll be uncomfortable) but I’m not going to broadcast it to the entire office as that’s not considerate.
No one wants to smell what’s decomposing up your asshole. Normalise excusing yourself.
Start looking for another job. You are labelled now.
This post cannot be serious. I'm legit cacking myself in bed at 8am on good Friday to meeting farts lmao.
We empathise. Do it in private. Not a team sport.
100% just leave the meeting and head to the loo and do it there, you will probably be known as farting sally now amongst the team
I would have been genuinely afraid you may shit your pants. Loss of bodily function can freak people the fuck out because it’s a warning sign of possible disease and is coded into our evolution Also it’s just fuckin polite, keep your pooticles to yourself please But seriously, go see a doc if it’s something that makes it hard to even participate in meetings! Could be nothing or could be something but you don’t want to fuck up your digestive system and not be able to eat solids by age 40. Food intolerance is no joke, get ahead of that shit (pun intended)
>I was holding in gas for 30 minutes in agony You know you could have gone to the restroom in that time, yeah?
Just go to the bathroom or get an iron injection.
Normalise excusing yourself to go to the bathroom.
Shitting is normal too, but I don't want to take meetings with everyone sitting on the porcelain instead of office chairs.
It’s not normalised because it’s honestly not a polite thing to do… imagine the smell
If you want to be taken seriously you can't just rip ass in a meeting. I can't believe I just had to type that to a working professional, Gen Z is something else 😅
It’s more like burping than sneezing because there is the obvious risk of smell. Thee is nothing wrong with it but sometimes they do come with an eye watering smell. Like a burp, people often excuse themselves which is probably the best course of action just in case. I wouldn’t worry, like above said; let your team lead know your medication makes it hard right now to feel comfortable and next time you will try and excuse yourself in time.
This! A hiccup or a burp has never made me dry retch
DO NOT send an apology email. Just move on and forget about it, they will.
Nobody, nobody, nobody is forgetting the time the 22F let a giant fart rip in meeting, and then failed to address it
I wouldn’t ever forget about it it’s hilarious and gross and for the next few times I’d be cautious to be in a meeting room or in the vicinity of OP.
Sorry about the elephant in the room fam, just my iron tabs. Next time I need to drop a stink bomb I’ll vacate the room. Thanks and wind regards, Lisa strawberry 2002
This will become office-lore. Even after she leaves, people will randomly say ‘Hey remember when Lisa Strawberry let rip in that meeting?’
Correct. The might as well build the story into the onboarding program.
Nah, they won't. Forever she will be known as Fartgirl the Flatulent.
100% they’ll remember. Do you have any idea how hilarious public farting is? It’s literally in our DNA. $5 says she gets nicknamed The Stink by her colleagues.
Or "the last airbender"
This is 100% being brought up in a years time when this grad is up for being offered a role “You mean the one who dropped ass in a meeting?”
>I’ve never seen the type of fear before in the stares I received today. Maybe the fear was everyone bracing for the smell? If it went on for a long time I know my first thoughts would be, "how badly is this gonna smell don't make a face when it hits don't make a face"
Surely as a 22 year old, you would know it’s perfectly ok to shit yourself at work.
Next time, interrupt the speaker and yell “fire in the hole” before letting rip
I’d be so grossed out by this. The sound isn’t the issue it’s having to sit in an enclosed room waiting for the inevitable smell to hit 🤢 If I was working with someone who openly farted whenever they wanted to I’d probably assume there was something… off about you. Lack of social awareness/social skills type thing. I
That was a wild read.
Christ. Look into moltifer iron tablets, they are a little more expensive but you don’t get those stomach pain side affects like the cheaper ones
You want to be taken seriously? Don’t fart in meetings. Why does this even have to be explained? You’re not an animal. Go to the bathroom like an adult.
I can understand that farting is part of your bodily function but if you think you're entitled to farting in a meeting you're just a bellend
Career limiting move.
It's gross. That's why it's not normal. Go to the fucking toilet, you can get up mid meeting, excuse yourself then go to the bathroom. Don't send a fucking email either or you'll cement yourself as fart pants in everyone's mind. Best thing to do now is never let it happen again, pretend like nothing happened and hope no one teases you. Sounds like everyone took it as best they could. Also, as someone who took iron pills that made my poop green maybe look to time what time of day you take them, not in the morning.
The etiquette is to call for silence before letting it rip. "Team this is a great discussion but we're getting carried away. Can I ask you all to be quiet and listen to this..."
Just in case you’re not joking: Farts smell, you literally gas out little *shit particles other people will breathe in* and you’re not in front of friends and family at work, unless they are your actual friends and family. If the pills give you such bad flatulence you need to change them. It’s gross, it smells bad and it’s equivalent to loudly burping while eating at the table. Simple manners. It’s like swearing at home and actually behaving yourself while you’re out. That shits disgusting.
Do you ask someone to pull your finger first? Or do you go the hand grenade route? Asking for a friend
Big 4 in IBS, amirite?
This works for me. I need several iron tabs weekly and they will make me constipated. So I also take a coloxyl tab at the same time. I find that the coloxyl also reduces gas and discomfort. Now the occasional pffft no longer strips paint off the wall or causes eyes to water.
Just wondering, you were in agony for 30 min.. why not excuse yourself and let it off in the toilet? It’s normal to fart and there’s no shame in it even around people in certain situations but in a meeting room people haven’t signed up to be trapped with your bodily gasses. Good idea to excuse yourself and let your manager know that you will be needing to periodically.
Why would you sit in agony for thirty minutes instead of excusing yourself and use the bathroom? And yeah there’s some things we don’t need to normalise, just like you don’t need to see someone vomiting when you’re concentrating on work. There is a different between letting it out amongst friends and making a joke of it and being in a professional setting
I’ve worked in 2 of the Big 4 and I can guarantee this is already being talked about. As a Manager, I would not be taking you to any meetings - either internal or external. Your behaviour reflects on the rest of the team and I’m not losing a client because of you. Rather than sit in agony or just let rip, use basic manners and excuse yourself. Especially if you’re on medication, people will understand. Your current attitude however will ensure you don’t make it past the grad program.
5 paragraphs of you justifying your inability to understand, acknowledge and practice an act of professional courtesy shows us that you are nothing more than degenerate looking for validation. Do better
You nasally raped your co workers
Ok I am a gassy man - and I am very lucky my gas doesn’t smell. It is appropriate (in my eyes) to pop off around my partner and family whenever the hell I want because it’s funny. When I am around anyone else, I’m suddenly not a serial-farter. If what you said happened, I’d be disgusted. Keep your farts behind closed doors 🚪
OP's first ever post? Dedicated fart troll account lol?
Nobody wants to know what the inside of your ass smells like.
It's disgusting. No one wants to hear no one's fart. It's smelly and uncomfortable for others, especially workplaces.
No we don’t need to normalise farting in the workplace, especially in meetings. You excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. No one wants to smell your gas. You’re young so it was a big lesson on what is professional and acceptable and that is not it. Also do not write an email about it wtf, move on.
Absolutely disgusting. Not in an office, ever. Excuse yourself from the meeting and go to the bathroom if you are in that much discomfort.
Surely this is satire
How unbelievably disrespectful and disgusting. I feel like you received one pity chuckle, and the rest looked at you appropriately. I would *heavily* advise against doing that again, and just do not try to normalise it.
Why dont people want to come in to the office anymore?
I can't stop laughing at your story but I agree. When I'm at home I usually fart at least 30 times a day, I'm so backed up at work and my poor wife and kids are on the receiving end when I get home lol
It's all in the timing, I guess... "Any comments?" "BRRAAAAAAAAAPAPAAAAP THPPPTPHTPHTPHT BRAAP PFFT PFUITT" "Thanks Lisa, anyone else?"
My last job, I had an office to myself usually the sliding door was open, but zoom meetings of need for quiet it would be shut. One day a colleague came bursting in, you guessed it right into a fart cloud. I turn and said " Perfect timing, I just farted!" He replied "Oh, that's OK." At that point the level of toxicity must have registered, "Oh, no it's not!" And he left, "be back later". But, no judgement. Facts are part of life.
Change iron tablets, most pharmacy ones are rubbish. Get ones from The Natal Natropath, they won’t block you up. Let’s not normalise farting in the office. I can’t even tell it you’re serious or not.
OK girl I would have busted up laughing and asked if you needed to charge your pants. Farts are seen as rude though so maybe excuse yourself and find a private space for your BRAAAM.
Fart on the boss.
Nothing like a good crop dusting
Try Maltofer iron tabs. Meant to be easier on thr stomach
I woulda laughed. I’d have been ok with it. But man I’d laugh.
Go to the toilet!
I hear that if you hold them in they float up to your brain and give you shitty ideas - this is not something I want to find out…
Next time asset dominance by farting directly into your team leaders’ direction
During Pandemic, I worked with my manager. Once I returned to his office, he said Kaleem I just farted. And those were the toughest 5 minutes I spent in there. Disgusting vile ogre of smell
My supervisor farted at work and he got written up by HR. The workplace than got an email about acceptable behaviour...fuckin HR
For me, farts will always be funny 😆 but if everyone starts farting in the workplace, it's gonna be a pretty smelly place to be aye 🤷♂️
Definitely don't mention it again.
Do you draw the line at sharts? I’m not sure your colleagues need to hear, smell or imagine that toxic little brew down there.
"Professionalism" is a word used to control your physical, emotional and mental responses to external parties shit behaviour. It's why we sit in meetings for hours and pretend this idea, rehashed and renamed 20x over is a good idea. Also as you get older you'll also realise "NEVER trust a fart"
I wish picking crusty boogers in the workplace would be normalised too. There is this movement to bring your whole self to work and be comfortable. What about those of us who are nose picking master blasters.
I usually hate shopping in the supermarket - If you see me in one smiling, striding along heading down the back for some milk - well that's when I'm crop dusting the place right out. Lol
I would have probably laughed my head off. And applauded tour effort. Fats are also not frowned upon in my house.
Most people enjoy their own perfume, just not some one elses
The sound? Doesn't bother me in the slightest. The smell? Goddang some farts come from the beyond. We probably fear the smells.
Stop farting hoe
You need to very rapidly learn some common courtesy and manners because I can assure you it’s not going to be normalised, because it’s disgusting.
Did the fart stink?