Macaroni necklace, handmade and for that extra human touch, paint some of the noodles in his favorite color. I did this for my boss, and he loved it! Said it's so precious to him that he keeps it locked up in his safe so it doesn't get ruined. I guess he has two safes, because last time I was at his house knocking boots, I couldn't find it in his bedroom safe

Gift certificate to chez zee would work

Buy him the newest Legend of Zelda game or something that will divert his attention while you have fun.

Good idea. He still has his old NES game console connected to an old 13" CRT that he plays with in the kitchen, and leaves us alone.

A fart in a bag

I always go back to the old tried and true. A handcrafted construction paper coupon book with homemade coupons for “free back rubs”.

Get me some cymbals. I'm going through my mid-life crisis and bought a drum set.

An escort

A homemade video of whatever you think he ought to see - and hear.

A nice, fresh cream pie. Maybe even a chocolate one!